BSS Movie Thread (And The Stupenderful Articulation Of Substandard Speculation)

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howe_sam: Mar 7, 2013; Creepy little garbage eaters

Big Mean Jerk posted:

Everyone raves about the visuals, and that's definitely deserved, but they couldn't make up for the atrocious acting from Dane DeHaan and Cara Delevingne.... Delevingne isn't nearly as bad, she's just not a particularly good actor... The brief instances where she takes the lead and DeHaan is nowhere to be found are by far the high points of the film.

I liked Delevingne's performance more than I thought I would, but yeah that was a really uneven film

# ? Jul 24, 2017 14:21

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# ? May 12, 2024 00:14

Humbug Scoolbus: Apr 25, 2008; The scarlet letter was her passport into regions where other women dared not tread. Shame, Despair, Solitude! These had been her teachers, stern and wild ones, and they had made her strong, but taught her much amiss.; Clapping Larry

Delevingne can portray emotions and is really entertaining when she's in the forefront while DeHaan is just completely terrible, and the pacing of the movie so hosed up. The Rihanna sequence tanks the flow so spectacularly it makes it feel like it was added at the last second.

# ? Jul 24, 2017 14:46

John Wick of Dogs: Mar 4, 2017; A real hellraiser

I agree, but on the other hand I find it hard to complain about watching Rihanna, one of the most beautiful women on the planet, do a burlesque performance. Is it any more extraneous than the iconic opera house scene in 5th element?

# ? Jul 24, 2017 15:21

Big Mean Jerk: Jan 27, 2009; Well, of course I know him.
He's me.

Al Borland Corp. posted:

I agree, but on the other hand I find it hard to complain about watching Rihanna, one of the most beautiful women on the planet, do a burlesque performance. Is it any more extraneous than the iconic opera house scene in 5th element?

The opera has better pacing and isn't a jarring cameo.

# ? Jul 24, 2017 15:31

Aphrodite: Jun 27, 2006

The Diva is played by the woman Luc Besson left for Milla Jovovich during filming of that movie, after impregnating her at 16 years old (he was 33.)

It's a little jarring.

# ? Jul 24, 2017 15:34

John Wick of Dogs: Mar 4, 2017; A real hellraiser

Oh those wacky Frenchmen.

# ? Jul 24, 2017 15:36

Codependent Poster: Oct 20, 2003

Valerian would have been much better if Delevingne's character was the main focus and Valerian himself was dead/knocked out/missing for most the film. I thought she was about the most enjoyable part of the movie since she at least seemed like she was having some fun.

# ? Jul 24, 2017 15:40

Wheat Loaf: Feb 13, 2012; by FactsAreUseless

Not strictly comic books, but arguably superhero-related, who owns the movie rights for Zorro at the minute? Does Disney have them? I was thinking that 2019 will be the hundredth anniversary of Zorro so it would be cool if there was a new Zorro movie to coincide.

(Hopefully better than the second Antonio Banderas one.)

# ? Jul 24, 2017 15:42

bunnyofdoom: Mar 29, 2008; I've been here the whole time, and you're not my real Dad!

Aphrodite posted:

The Diva is played by the woman Luc Besson left for Milla Jovovich during filming of that movie, after impregnating her at 16 years old (he was 33.)

It's a little jarring.

Wait. Milla is 16 years old in the fifth element......

# ? Jul 24, 2017 15:42

John Wick of Dogs: Mar 4, 2017; A real hellraiser

How about a time travel story where Zorro meets his great grandson The Green Hornet

# ? Jul 24, 2017 15:43

Wheat Loaf: Feb 13, 2012; by FactsAreUseless

Green Hornet is the Lone Ranger's great-grandson, not Zorro's. :colbert:

# ? Jul 24, 2017 15:44

John Wick of Dogs: Mar 4, 2017; A real hellraiser

Oops!

Ok how about Lone Ranger v Zorro

# ? Jul 24, 2017 15:47

zoux: Apr 28, 2006

So five years until Valerian is a cult classic and everyone loves it?

# ? Jul 24, 2017 15:47

Samuringa: Mar 27, 2017; Best advice I was ever given?

"Ticker, you'll be a lot happier once you stop caring about the opinions of a culture that is beneath you."

I learned my worth, learned the places and people that matter.

Opened my eyes.

https://twitter.com/mrbrianfirenzi/status/889104712896794624

# ? Jul 24, 2017 15:49

Lager: Mar 9, 2004; Give me the secret to the anti-puppet equation!

bunnyofdoom posted:

Wait. Milla is 16 years old in the fifth element......

No, Milla was about 20 when they filmed. The actress playing the diva was 16 years old when Luc Besson impregnated her.

# ? Jul 24, 2017 15:59

Zzulu: May 15, 2009; (â°ËvËâ°)

Which is a-ok in the land of the french

# ? Jul 24, 2017 16:01

John Wick of Dogs: Mar 4, 2017; A real hellraiser

Was A-OK in the USA at that point too. I'm not sure when the tide culturally turned to "actually fully adult women are preferable to teens and coeds" but thank Christ it did.

# ? Jul 24, 2017 16:05

Zzulu: May 15, 2009; (â°ËvËâ°)

Now, nerds, I ask of you to please inform me how "the flash" is usually defeated? How do you defeat someone overpowered like that?

I heard one of his arch nemesis villains was a dude with a gun... how the hell is he threatening at all

# ? Jul 24, 2017 16:11

Aphrodite: Jun 27, 2006

It's legal, but it's not like French think it's cool.

Zzulu posted:

Now, nerds, I ask of you to please inform me how "the flash" is usually defeated? How do you defeat someone overpowered like that?

I heard one of his arch nemesis villains was a dude with a gun... how the hell is he threatening at all

Well, he doesn't lose very often to those people.

He fights a lot of guys who also have super speed.

TV Flash is just a moron who stops a lot.

Aphrodite fucked around with this message at 16:17 on Jul 24, 2017

# ? Jul 24, 2017 16:11

Aphrodite: Jun 27, 2006

Oops.

# ? Jul 24, 2017 16:17

John Wick of Dogs: Mar 4, 2017; A real hellraiser

Zzulu posted:

Now, nerds, I ask of you to please inform me how "the flash" is usually defeated? How do you defeat someone overpowered like that?

I heard one of his arch nemesis villains was a dude with a gun... how the hell is he threatening at all

Convenient temporary stupidity, usually.

Though that gun is usually depicted as making him a little slower just by being near it. When Flash arrives on scene the ground is already covered in ice and ice spike traps all over that make his own speed a liability, Cold will get the drop on him with tricks, or have something he cares about in danger 100 miles away to buy himself time, etc. There are hostages to deal with, etc.

Flash can time travel but usually doesn't because it's dangerous and causes more problems than it fixes.

# ? Jul 24, 2017 16:21

zoux: Apr 28, 2006

One time he ran into a sword.

# ? Jul 24, 2017 16:23

Aphrodite: Jun 27, 2006

Flash also can't just time travel on the spot. He needs to build up speed for the fancy stuff.

# ? Jul 24, 2017 16:24

Zzulu: May 15, 2009; (â°ËvËâ°)

Could he beat superman?

# ? Jul 24, 2017 16:34

Rhyno: Mar 22, 2003; Can't post for 10 years!

Zzulu posted:

Could he beat superman?

Probably.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pPWlKL4WrlU

# ? Jul 24, 2017 16:41

Codependent Poster: Oct 20, 2003

Zzulu posted:

Now, nerds, I ask of you to please inform me how "the flash" is usually defeated? How do you defeat someone overpowered like that?

I heard one of his arch nemesis villains was a dude with a gun... how the hell is he threatening at all

Try to outsmart him, set up traps, appeal to the fact he'd prioritize saving people over stopping a theft.

Also don't ever kill anyone because if you make Flash mad he can erase you from time instead of just putting you in jail.

That's why Flash and his rogues are a lot of fun. It's very cat and mouse-like, and it's like a game or challenge for them to see if they can beat the Flash. The worst he'll ever do is put you in jail, so long as you aren't killing people. So that's why the rogues also all have something of an honor code.

# ? Jul 24, 2017 16:56

Vandar: Sep 14, 2007; Isn't That Right, Chairman?

Zzulu posted:

Now, nerds, I ask of you to please inform me how "the flash" is usually defeated? How do you defeat someone overpowered like that?

I heard one of his arch nemesis villains was a dude with a gun... how the hell is he threatening at all

All of Flash's villains are super-specialized in the skill of fighting speedsters. Also they typically tend to work together as a large group.

It's easy to take on the man with the cold gun by himself, but when you're dealing with him you have to keep an eye out for the guy with the boomerangs, and the guy coming out of the mirror, and the guy controlling the weather...

Also, typically his rogues aren't trying to defeat him, so much as distract him until they can escape.

# ? Jul 24, 2017 16:58

Samuringa: Mar 27, 2017; Best advice I was ever given?

"Ticker, you'll be a lot happier once you stop caring about the opinions of a culture that is beneath you."

I learned my worth, learned the places and people that matter.

Opened my eyes.

Since we're having a Flash chat, I was wondering: Is there anything that could be adapted for the movie that the series already didn't do? I know - from others - that it isn't the smartest show in the world, but it's been running for 4 years and probably has covered a lot of rogues, arcs and plot beats, and I'm assuming your average DC fan has also been keeping up with it. So what could they do to surprise those people?

# ? Jul 24, 2017 17:02

Rhyno: Mar 22, 2003; Can't post for 10 years!

The show has barely scratched the comic mythos. And when they do they just take the name of a bad guy and make up their own poo poo anyways.

# ? Jul 24, 2017 17:03

John Wick of Dogs: Mar 4, 2017; A real hellraiser

And then usually kill the bad guy by the end of the episode

# ? Jul 24, 2017 17:07

Retrowave Joe: Jul 20, 2001

Zzulu posted:

Could he beat superman?

His whole thing is being the fastest. If someone else was faster, then there's no point to the character.

# ? Jul 24, 2017 17:17

Zzulu: May 15, 2009; (â°ËvËâ°)

I don't mean in like, a race

I mean in like, a fight

To the d e a t h :getin:

# ? Jul 24, 2017 17:24

purple death ray: Jul 28, 2007; me omw 2 steal ur girl

Plastic Man definitely could beat Superman though. And Goku

# ? Jul 24, 2017 17:30

Gaz-L: Jan 28, 2009

Does the Flash get prep time?

# ? Jul 24, 2017 17:31

Dacap: Jul 8, 2008; I've been involved in a number of cults, both as a leader and a follower.

You have more fun as a follower. But you make more money as a leader.

Gaz-L posted:

Does the Flash get prep time?

He travels back in time to give himself a chance to prep

# ? Jul 24, 2017 17:32

Aphrodite: Jun 27, 2006

Have they ever done a story where Batman has Flash powers and therefore near infinite prep time?

# ? Jul 24, 2017 17:33

Endless Mike: Aug 13, 2003

https://twitter.com/theseantcollins/status/889528089931378688

# ? Jul 24, 2017 18:14

zoux: Apr 28, 2006

Just have Superman with a moustache, that would rule.

# ? Jul 24, 2017 18:17

Dacap: Jul 8, 2008; I've been involved in a number of cults, both as a leader and a follower.

You have more fun as a follower. But you make more money as a leader.

# ? Jul 24, 2017 18:20

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# ? May 12, 2024 00:14

zoux: Apr 28, 2006

Viltrumites....

# ? Jul 24, 2017 18:26

The Something Awful Forums > The Finer Arts > BSS: Bisexual Super Son > BSS Movie Thread (And The Stupenderful Articulation Of Substandard Speculation)

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