Taiwan Number 1

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > Taiwan Number 1

Haier: Aug 10, 2007; by Lowtax

Known Lecher posted:

Apparently to this guy, "walking on eggshells" = not doing pot or while openly communicating with your dealer via plaintext in one of the world's most notorious surveillance states.

JEEZ IT COULD HAPPEN TO ANY ONE OF US, GUYS!!

My favorite part:
>Tests positive, but weakly, and is let off the hook with a warning.
>Immediately goes out and does more drugs.
>One week later fails another drug test.
>One loving week.
>LMAO

# ? Jul 24, 2017 16:07

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 15, 2024 05:54

Hedenius: Aug 23, 2007

Known Lecher posted:

Apparently to this guy, "walking on eggshells" = not doing pot or while openly communicating with your dealer via plaintext in one of the world's most notorious surveillance states.

JEEZ IT COULD HAPPEN TO ANY ONE OF US, GUYS!!

Yeah, like this is the poo poo that gets you kicked out of most of (all?) western nations too.

# ? Jul 24, 2017 16:08

Hedenius: Aug 23, 2007

Haier posted:

My favorite part:
>Tests positive, but weakly, and is let off the hook with a warning.
>Immediately goes out and does more drugs.
>One week later fails another drug test.
>One loving week.
>LMAO

This is the part that gets me. You were loving let off the hook for doing drugs in China of all places and your first instinct is to do more drugs a few days later! Dude is hella optimistic at least.

# ? Jul 24, 2017 16:11

TTerrible: Jul 15, 2005

The china references in The Martian are in the original book, they weren't inserted by Hollywood. :shobon:

# ? Jul 24, 2017 16:34

Blistex: Oct 30, 2003; Macho Business
Donkey Wrestler

Still waiting on "Hainan Island incident 2.0"

2 Chinese fighter jets buzz US Navy spy plane in East China Sea

http://www.foxnews.com/world/2017/07/24/2-chinese-fighter-jets-buzz-us-navy-spy-plane-in-east-china-sea.html

quote:

A pair of armed Chinese fighter jets flew dangerously close to a U.S. Navy reconnaissance plane flying in the East China Sea on Sunday afternoon, with the hazardous Chinese behavior nearly causing a "collision," two U.S. officials told Fox News.

One of the Chinese J-10 jets flew under the American EP-3 jet and maneuvered suddenly, popping up 300 feet in front of the U.S. plane and causing "the [US] EP-3 to take evasive action to avoid collision,� one official said. Both Chinese fighter jets were armed with air-to-air missiles, according to the officials. The incident occurred roughly 90 miles south of the Chinese port city of Qingdao in the East China Sea.

The episode came just days after the U.S. Navy�s top officer, Adm. John Richardson, on Friday called his Chinese counterpart to discuss possible next steps in putting pressure on North Korea, in an effort to de-escalate tensions and roll back the rogue regime's missile and nuclear weapons programs. It�s the first unsafe interaction between China and the U.S. Navy in the air near China since a similar incident occurred off the coast of Hong Kong in late May. This month, the U.S. Navy sailed a guided-missile destroyer near a contested island in the South China Sea that is claimed by China. It was the second time since President Trump took office the U.S. Navy conducted what it calls a �freedom of navigation� operation.

This is pretty much what happened in 2001. A Chinese J-8 fighter was hot-dogging it around an EP-3 and collided with it. The Chinese media said it was obvious that the US plane rammed the Chinese jet, and wouldn't return the crew until Bush gave an apology (which they then heavily edited for local consumption).

Chinese J-8 Fighter (top speed: Mach 2.2)

USN EP-3 (top speed: Mach 0.63)

# ? Jul 24, 2017 16:44

Blue Star Error: Jun 11, 2001; For this recipie you will need:
Football match (Halftime of), Celebrity Owner (Motivational speaking of), Sherry (Bottle of)

The Six Wars to be fought by China in the coming 50 years

# ? Jul 24, 2017 17:14

Switzerland: Feb 18, 2005; Do what thou must do.

Blue Star Error posted:

The Six Wars to be fought by China in the coming 50 years

Missing the nuking and invasion of the US

# ? Jul 24, 2017 17:22

Baronjutter: Dec 31, 2007; "Tiny Trains"

Sexpat memes

# ? Jul 24, 2017 17:23

Haier: Aug 10, 2007; by Lowtax

Blue Star Error posted:

The Six Wars to be fought by China in the coming 50 years

This fan fiction gets me so hard and underestimates every single other nation in Asia and the world.

quote:

China may win this war easily, or it may turn out to be a difficult one. All depend on the level of intervention of the U.S. and Japan. If the U.S. and Japan play active roles in aiding Taiwan, or even make offensives into Chinese mainland, the war must become a difficult and prolonged total war. On the other hand, if the U.S. and Japan just watch and see, the Chinese army can easily defeat the Taiwanese. In this case, Taiwan can be under control within three months. Even if the U.S. and Japan step in in this stage, the war can be finished within six months.

"If the USA and Japan don't bully us, we can totally beat those pesky Taiwanese all by ourselves!!"

quote:

After unification of Taiwan, China will take a rest for two years. During the period of recovery, China will send the ultimatum to countries surrounding the Islands with the deadline of 2028. The countries having disputes on the sovereignty of Islands can negotiate with China on preserving their shares of investments in these Islands by giving up their territorial claims. If not, once China declares war on them, their investments and economic benefits will be taken over by China.

"We just gonna walk in there and take it, and nobody will bother us. Then we gonna take errything else and nobody gonna say poo poo. We China. Nuff said."

# ? Jul 24, 2017 17:26

champagne posting: Apr 5, 2006; YOU ARE A BRAIN
IN A BUNKER

quote:

The 1st War: Unification of Taiwan (Year 2020 to 2025)

I'm the supposed superpower spending five years invading one island.

also

quote:

After unification of Taiwan, China will take a rest for two years.

# ? Jul 24, 2017 17:45

hazardousmouse: Dec 17, 2010

To be fair, it worked for Russia with Crimea

# ? Jul 24, 2017 17:46

vanity slug: Jul 20, 2010

Raptor1033 posted:

To be fair, it worked for Russia with Crimea

Crimea is connected by land. The Ukraine also didn't have seventy years to prepare for this exact scenario.

# ? Jul 24, 2017 18:23

Ichabod Tane: Oct 30, 2005; A most notable
coward, an infinite and endless liar, an hourly promise breaker, the owner of no one good quality.

https://youtu.be/_Ojd0BdtMBY?t=4

never forget that the taiwanese, in essence, are chinese and have had 70 years of chabuduo

# ? Jul 24, 2017 18:27

Blistex: Oct 30, 2003; Macho Business
Donkey Wrestler

It's almost like China and Russia don't understand that nobody wants to be a part of their lovely counties. :psyduck:

# ? Jul 24, 2017 19:15

bongwizzard: May 19, 2005; Then one day I meet a man,
He came to me and said,
"Hard work good and hard work fine,
but first take care of head"; Grimey Drawer

JaucheCharly posted:

You see 40 new posts in the poo poo D&D china thread, hey, maybe a funny meltdown.

Then: Pagelong argueing about absolutely asinine and uninteresting poo poo, feelings were hurt and you end up being angry at yourself for even expecting that there would be something worth your time there.

I found out some water heater facts, so I guess D&D can do some good!

# ? Jul 24, 2017 19:38

Baronjutter: Dec 31, 2007; "Tiny Trains"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bEfCUikKxbY
Chinese construction. "the front fell off"

# ? Jul 24, 2017 19:42

bongwizzard: May 19, 2005; Then one day I meet a man,
He came to me and said,
"Hard work good and hard work fine,
but first take care of head"; Grimey Drawer

Also is check-splitting not a thing in non-US? I think I have to exchange money with friends maybe 2-4 times a year at max, maybe double that if you include weed stuff. The idea of that being a super desirable feature for an electronic payment system is so weird to me.

# ? Jul 24, 2017 19:54

Baronjutter: Dec 31, 2007; "Tiny Trains"

bongwizzard posted:

Also is check-splitting not a thing in non-US? I think I have to exchange money with friends maybe 2-4 times a year at max, maybe double that if you include weed stuff. The idea of that being a super desirable feature for an electronic payment system is so weird to me.

It really depends where you are I guess, I thought it was standard in north american but I had some family come up to visit from Oakland and they were blown away that all the restaurants/pubs here would actually do separate bills and even go back and re-do them if you ask to split it up differently. She said in Oakland they just give you one and it's up to your table to figure out who owes what and they'll flat out tell you "no" if you ask to separate anything.

# ? Jul 24, 2017 19:57

Son of Rodney: Feb 22, 2006; ohmygodohmygodohmygod

bongwizzard posted:

Also is check-splitting not a thing in non-US? I think I have to exchange money with friends maybe 2-4 times a year at max, maybe double that if you include weed stuff. The idea of that being a super desirable feature for an electronic payment system is so weird to me.

tbh it would own, I constantly borrow money from friends because I need cash and don't carry any, and while I can do online banking, using an app to do it in like 10 seconds would be great

# ? Jul 24, 2017 20:08

bongwizzard: May 19, 2005; Then one day I meet a man,
He came to me and said,
"Hard work good and hard work fine,
but first take care of head"; Grimey Drawer

Baronjutter posted:

It really depends where you are I guess, I thought it was standard in north american but I had some family come up to visit from Oakland and they were blown away that all the restaurants/pubs here would actually do separate bills and even go back and re-do them if you ask to split it up differently. She said in Oakland they just give you one and it's up to your table to figure out who owes what and they'll flat out tell you "no" if you ask to separate anything.

Weird, I have traveled all over the country for like 15 years and never really had any issue splitting checks with coworkers. The few places that would refuse to split checks seemed to all have a lot of signage to that effect so we never were caught by surprise. I would be amazed in the age of yelp that anyone would still refuse to split checks and deal with crazy people posting bad reviews.

# ? Jul 24, 2017 20:12

bongwizzard: May 19, 2005; Then one day I meet a man,
He came to me and said,
"Hard work good and hard work fine,
but first take care of head"; Grimey Drawer

Son of Rodney posted:

tbh it would own, I constantly borrow money from friends because I need cash and don't carry any, and while I can do online banking, using an app to do it in like 10 seconds would be great

So like, maybe carry some cash? Like you don't need an app to solve that problem.

# ? Jul 24, 2017 20:16

Sten Freak: Sep 10, 2008; Despite all of these shortcomings, the Sten still has a long track record of shooting people right in the face.; College Slice

quote:

On a disputed South China Sea island, Beijing unveils a high-tech cinema

Over 200 Chinese moviegoers attended a screening on Yongxing Island in the South China Sea on Saturday, according to the state-run Xinhua news agency.

The cinema is operated by Hainan Film Company and comes with up-to-date technology, the agency reported, including both 4K resolution and a 3-D perforated screen. The new movie theater has received widespread attention in Beijing's state-run media � with Xinhua describing it as �China's southernmost cinema.�

# ? Jul 24, 2017 20:20

Baronjutter: Dec 31, 2007; "Tiny Trains"

You can't claim land until you have a cinema on it?

# ? Jul 24, 2017 20:34

The Great Autismo!: Mar 3, 2007; by Fluffdaddy

Sten Freak posted:

this sounds like news fojar will really appreciate

# ? Jul 24, 2017 20:45

vanity slug: Jul 20, 2010

can we reserve seats

# ? Jul 24, 2017 20:50

Brimstone Inquiry: Jan 21, 2007

I would blow Dane Cook posted:

Journey to the wild wild west

You jest, but I would unironically watch this.

# ? Jul 24, 2017 20:56

angel opportunity: Sep 7, 2004; Total Eclipse of the Heart

https://twitter.com/pdchina/status/889565071642439680

# ? Jul 24, 2017 21:05

Fojar38: Sep 2, 2011; Sorry I meant to say I hope that the police use maximum force and kill or maim a bunch of innocent people, thus paving a way for a proletarian uprising and socialist utopia

also here's a stupid take
---------------------------->

The Great Autismo! posted:

this sounds like news fojar will really appreciate

im really impressed by how high tech the cinema is, china must be a highly developed modern peer

# ? Jul 24, 2017 21:06

BexGu: Jan 9, 2004; This fucking day....

Son of Rodney posted:

tbh it would own, I constantly borrow money from friends because I need cash and don't carry any, and while I can do online banking, using an app to do it in like 10 seconds would be great

Use Venmo:
https://venmo.com/

It apart of the PayPal network.

# ? Jul 24, 2017 21:31

BONGHITZ: Jan 1, 1970

How dare you.

S: too late

# ? Jul 24, 2017 23:40

Devils Affricate: Jan 22, 2010

So what are the rules on stationary structures located in international waters? Can I just park my boat there and walk into the theater to watch a free movie?

# ? Jul 25, 2017 00:30

Private Speech: Mar 30, 2011; I HAVE EVEN MORE WORTHLESS BEANIE BABIES IN MY COLLECTION THAN I HAVE WORTHLESS POSTS IN THE BEANIE BABY THREAD YET I STILL HAVE THE TEMERITY TO CRITICIZE OTHERS' COLLECTIONS

IF YOU SEE ME TALKING ABOUT BEANIE BABIES, PLEASE TELL ME TO

EAT. SHIT.

LMFAO BBC news and China, same as always:

China set to launch an 'unhackable' internet communication

quote:

As malicious hackers mount ever more sophisticated attacks, China is about to launch a new, "unhackable" communications network - at least in the sense that any attack on it would be quickly detected.

The technology it has turned to is quantum cryptography, a radical break from the traditional encryption methods around. The Chinese project in the city of Jinan has been touted as a milestone by state media.

The pioneering project is also part of a bigger story: China is taking the lead in a technology in which the West has long been hesitant to invest.

Hummm yes that sure doesn't sound like a big load of hogwash

But maybe if they could implement it in a mass scalable way, somehow, unlike everyone else; then, perhaps:

quote:

In the Jinan network, some 200 users from the military, government, finance and electricity sectors will be able to send messages safe in the knowledge that only they are reading them.

Ahh, I see.

In conclusion, to follow the great traditional Chinese essay structure:

BBC posted:

China's push in quantum communication means the country is taking huge strides developing applications that might make the increasingly vulnerable internet more secure.Applications that other countries soon might find themselves buying from China.

# ? Jul 25, 2017 00:48

Fojar38: Sep 2, 2011; Sorry I meant to say I hope that the police use maximum force and kill or maim a bunch of innocent people, thus paving a way for a proletarian uprising and socialist utopia

also here's a stupid take
---------------------------->

At least 5 QKD networks have been in operation up to this point, 2 in Europe, 1 in Japan, and 2 in the USA (one of which has been in operation since 2004) and that's just what a cursory glance at Wikipedia tells me

Virtually all reporting on China is garbage

# ? Jul 25, 2017 00:57

Devils Affricate: Jan 22, 2010

Is there some way to short sell on these ridiculous face projects in China?

Or wait, that's essentially what everyone involved in the schemes is already doing, isn't it.

Devils Affricate fucked around with this message at 01:08 on Jul 25, 2017

# ? Jul 25, 2017 01:05

Spatial: Nov 15, 2007

Grand Fromage posted:

My favorite title translations are the Japanese titles of Star Trek episodes. A LOT of them give away the ending if there's a mystery or twist. http://www.mars.dti.ne.jp/~ateban/eng_tos.html

lmao this is loving gold

Space Seed - Emperor of Space

# ? Jul 25, 2017 01:21

curufinor: Apr 4, 2016; by Smythe

japanese folks are a lot more ok with getting spoiled on poo poo

star wars trailers in japanese were way more comprehensive i recall

i think the optimistic statement is that the ones who have no loving ability to differentiate between fiction and reality all go read manga and watch anime

# ? Jul 25, 2017 01:30