new phone who dis posted:

Research chemicals are the worst. I had a couple of friends get strung out on them and it was worse than anything I had ever seen in regards to substance abuse and addiction. They ended up being awake for 3 days straight and calling the cops because they thought there was someone outside in the bushes trying to kill them and getting locked in a psych ward. The cop I talked to said that they had shot dozens of holes in the roof with a pistol and had never let the dogs out and there was poo poo all over the house.

Haifisch posted:

My [29F] roommate [26F] is obsessed with and trying to 'become' our friend [31M]'s fiancée [28F].

quote:

Sorry for the radio silence, and thank you for your concern and messages. A couple things I want to address:

• I own my apartment and it has sliding doors in all of the rooms, hence my comment that I probably couldn't install a bedroom door lock quickly and easily.
  
  
• Simon and Maelle's condo has keypad locks. They changed the combination last night, but the computer records of when it was unlocked (it does not show when it was locked) don't suggest that anyone was in their condo during the day when they were at work. We were over at their house at least once a week, sometimes twice, so it's not unthinkable that Cassie could have taken those things while we were over.
  
  
• Maelle thinks she had food poisoning. She was feeling ill on Thursday after a company lunch, and a coworker from her department apparently also called off yesterday. She was feeling well enough last night to see me and her maid of honor at her condo.
  
  
• Simon told Maelle everything I had told him around the time I made the post, and Maelle was understandably freaked out about the whole thing. Friends normally aren't welcome upstairs in their condo at Maelle's request (I've never seen Maelle and Simon's bedroom or their bathroom aside from the images on Cassie's computer) so the fact that she was snooping around made Maelle furious.

I wrote the original post about Thursday's events yesterday at around 5 or so.

After I wrote the post, I was texting quite a few people, one of whom got ahold of Cassie's aunt, Marie, on my behalf. Marie called me at around 7 PM and we spoke for almost half an hour. Marie told me that Cassie had struggled with depression and a type of disassociative disorder when she was in elementary and middle school as a result of being in foster care for a year. I asked if Marie wanted me to alert the police, and Marie said that she would do it. As far as I know, the police in my area and Cassie's hometown have been told that she's missing and know of her current mental state.

After I spoke with Marie, I took a long shower. I came out to find missed calls from both Simon and Maelle, as well as one of our other friends, Shane. Shane is a gym buddy of mine and ex-military. Simon had called him to tell him what was going on, and I called Shane back first. He was going over to Simon and Maelle's just to make sure everything was all right, and he wanted me to come with him and spend the night there. I agreed, and I called Maelle back to make sure she was all right with that. She didn't answer but Simon did, and he was in agreement with us spending the night. I packed up a bag, Maelle's things, and Cassie's laptop and drove over to Simon and Maelle's. She had just gotten out of the shower as I arrived, and she looked like she was definitely recovering. We settled in the living room and I gave her the bag of what was missing, which Simon put upstairs without her looking at. Shane and Simon spent a good portion of the night playing Mario Kart with us while Maelle alternated playing and chatting with her maid of honor Susie, who had come over after Simon had told her what was going on. Susie left at around 10, after Maelle went to bed.

At around midnight, Shane and I decided to go to bed as well. Simon went upstairs, and while Shane went to bed immediately, I opened Cassie's laptop. Aside from the pictures, there was not much else on there, and she hadn't logged in on Facebook from her browser in so long that she'd been logged out and I couldn't access anything regardless. I gave up and went to bed.

At around 3 in the morning, I heard a car door slam shut outside. It immediately woke me up, and I opened my eyes in time to see lights flickering inside the window. I assume this was someone's car lights flashing when the lock button is pressed, but I wasn't sure. I definitely heard footsteps on the wooden steps leading up to the front porch, and that's when I reached over and woke Shane up. Shane shot up and turned on a floor lamp, and I heard whomever was on the porch running back down the wooden steps. Shane unlocked the door and threw it open, and we both saw a car speed out of the driveway and take off down the road. I asked Shane what color the car was, and he said he couldn't see it in the dark (Simon and Maelle's road is not well lit). We closed the door and debated waking Simon up and calling the police. Ultimately, we did not wake Simon up, but Shane went outside to call the local department and ask that they send a couple cars up and down the road. Shane lied and said he'd seen Cassie's car in the driveway, and while they said there wasn't anything they could do (not surprising), they'd have the cruisers in the area start looking for her car and they'd send someone to patrol the condo area.

After everyone woke up this morning, I made breakfast and we mostly hung around talking and playing the occasional Mario Kart. Maelle said that she was going to attempt to file a report for the theft of her things, but as she had them back now, she wasn't sure if she could file a report based on hearsay. We discussed her options, what she could do, and I relayed what Marie had said about Cassie's mental state. Maelle is more angry than freaked out, and seems to have her wits about her. When I told her about the pictures, she just laughed in disbelief and shook her head. She agreed that Cassie was mentally ill, and said that she hopes Cassie gets help, but she would never come over their home again and asked me to refrain from inviting her and Simon to any event that Cassie would be at. They both blocked her on social media and Maelle deleted her Twitter. Simon's uncle is a police chief who works in another state, and they were getting ready to call him after I left.

When I got home later on, the apartment didn't look like it had been visited by Cassie. I did a walkthrough and nothing seemed missing or out of place, so I then left around 2 to go to a prior engagement. At around 5, Marie called me again. She said that she hadn't heard anything from Cassie and our city's police hadn't seen her car. They were working on getting the police to track her credit or debit card transactions (banks close early today in my country and won't reopen until Tuesday due to a holiday, so it's been hard to get ahold of anyone). She seemed very upset, and I promised her that I would keep her updated if I heard anything. Cassie's uncle will be driving into the city (about four hours away) if they don't hear anything from her or the police by tomorrow morning.

Shane is staying over at my apartment tonight, and aside from that, there's not much else I can update with. I'll be changing the locks tomorrow with his help, and at Shane's insistence, we child-proofed the drawers with knives and kitchen utensils in them to make them more difficult to open.

tl;dr: Simon and Maelle know everything I know, Cassie may have attempted to come over to their house yesterday at 3 AM, no one has seen her as of 11 PM today, and Shane is staying with me through Tuesday.

PleasingFungus posted:

This one's a few years old, and there were updates.

The first one isn't very eventful:


There were two more after, which seem to have been more interesting (judging from the comments), but sadly are deleted now.

As Cassie might say, c'est la vie!

quote:

Cassie went batty over Maelle and Simons engagement pictures and their excluding her from save the dates/the engagement party. She attacked Maelle. Shes now living with her aunt and uncle four hours away and cannot contact anyone.

-snip for brevity's sake-

My coworkers and I usually go to lunch around 1:30, as one of our peak times for work is during regular lunch hours. We have up to an hour for lunch, and normally, we take all of it. So we get back in at around 2:30, and Im almost immediately called to another workers desk to help fix a problem. When I finally get back to my office, I see my voicemail light on my work phone flashing. The voicemail function is so sparsely used by my clients that I barely remember my PIN and have to double check it. The message was something like: Hello, Im looking for Soulberry1031. This is Simon [lastname]. Please call me on my cell phone.

I immediately got this horrible sinking feeling. Simon was calling me at work, and he sounded really mad. My office is pretty far removed from the rest of the cubicles, but its still door-less. I dont have my cell phone with me, and while I was able to look through the call history and write down his cell phone number, I didnt want to be making a personal call from work. I decided to go over to my boss, James, and ask if I could run home and get my phone. I vaguely explained the voicemail and say that someone might be trying to get ahold of me urgently. He says its fine. I know its kind of dickish of me, but the second I got home and looked at my phone, all I could think of was that I was going to have to take two and a half hours of PTO because there was no way I was getting back to work. I had 42 unread text messages and 3 calls/voicemails.

The text messages were mostly from Simon and Shane, and I saw Elise and Maries names as I scrolled down, as well as another unmentioned friend. I sat down and started with Simon. I scrolled up to the first unread message, which was essentially: Simon: I dont know if youre aware, but Cassie attacked Maelle. Id seen the mention of hospital in Shanes most recent message, and I swear, this is the first time in my life that Ive felt like I was going to faint. I quickly scrolled through Simons messages. Basically: Cassie had attacked Maelle in a parking lot as she was leaving a restaurant with her coworkers. She had grabbed Maelles bun from behind and pulled her back, and her head hit the concrete. One of Maelles coworkers (Karen, lets say) shoved Cassie away, something happened (Simon didnt say) and Cassie somehow gave Karen an orbital fracture. A husband and wife ran over and apparently wrestled Cassie to the ground with the other two coworkers, and the police were called. Both Maelle and Karen had been taken to the hospital. I immediately called Simon before checking the rest of the messages, and he didnt answer.

I checked Shanes messages next: Cassie had been arrested a couple counties over (where Maelle worked), Maelle was being taken to a hospital, and call me ASAP!!!!!!!. I only had one message each from Elise and Marie, and both were essentially Hello, please call me. Maries text message was dated barely five minutes ago. I didnt want to call Marie. I wanted nothing more than to never talk to Marie or George again. I felt like I had failed them, somehow. I justified it (at the time) by saying that I didnt have any facts yet, and calling Marie wouldnt do either of us any good. I called Shane instead, and he almost immediately answered. He was still at work, but on a long break, and he filled me in with the rest of the story. Now, Shane and Cassie are very close. They have known each other for over six years, and they have a pretty solid bond. Cassie was upset at, of all things, Maelle and Simons engagement photos that had been posted at the end of June. Whenever they texted or spoke on the phone or went out for midnight fast food, shed bring it up. Shane tried to steer the conversation to other things and shed be okay for a couple days, but then shed bring it up again. And one night a couple weeks ago, while they were at a late night burger/shake place with another friend, Cassie just stood up and left out of the blue. After she didnt come back in for a couple minutes, Shane and our friend went out after her, and she burst into tears. When Shane asked what was up, it turns out that our friend and Shanes phones had gone off at the same time: It was a Facebook message from Maelle asking for addresses from everyone for save the dates/engagement party invitations. Cassie had been holding his phone and watching a video at the time, apparently. He strongly suspects that thats what set her off. There wasnt much left to say after that, and we promised to keep each other updated.

After I got off the phone with Shane, Elise almost immediately called me, but I shuttled her to voicemail and tried to call Simon again. I didnt get an answer. I went out to get in my car and go back to work, and as I pulled out of my driveway, Simon called back. The call itself was pretty mundane: He asked what I knew, if Id spoken with Shane. I told him I did, and we discussed it briefly. I asked how Cassie knew where Maelle would be, and he said that she told the police that she didnt, that shed been in the area and ended up at the same restaurant as them and had lost her mind when she saw Maelle. Cassie and I live amost 30 minutes away from where Maelle works, and while theres a lot of really cool shops in that area, Ive never heard Cassie say she went there before. I asked after Maelle and her coworker. He said that Maelle is fine but has to stay in the hospital overnight because she hit her head really hard, and Karen had a huge black eye but would probably be discharged by the evening. Karen was currently talking to a police officer, and he was waiting for Maelle to get back from an X-Ray. Its embarrassing to admit, but while I was on the phone with him, I started crying. I apologized, not for being unable to control Cassies behavior but because I ultimately introduced Cassie into Maelle and Simons life. I understand that its irrational, and Simon was very understanding. He assured me that he and Maelle didnt blame me or anything like that, and he made tentative plans to invite me over that Sunday for coffee, since games were pretty much cancelled for the week.

I didnt end up going back to work, and I did end up calling Marie much later on that evening. What I discussed with her is probably not okay to type out, as its a currently active lawsuit and whatnot. I met with Simon and Maelle on Sunday, and it turned out to be an okay crowd. Shane wasnt able to make it, but Susie and another close friend of ours was there, and Maelle insisted on normalcy, so we all ended up having a really good time. Simon told us about Labor Day plans, probably deliberately so I didnt feel left out, and we made no mention of Cassie. On Wednesday, Shane, Marie and George came over to move Cassie out. Shes being pulled out of her graduate program for now and is living with Marie and George. I didnt see her at all. Shane quietly told me that she went from jail to Marie and Georges hotel room and hasnt seen anyone. Marie and George took her cell phone and laptop from her. I helped as much as I could before I went to the gym, and Marie gave me a very warm hug as I left. Im honestly not sure how much they know/understand about whats going on, because when I came back, there was a stack of papers on the side table by the sofa. Some were just grad school papers and flowcharts, but a good majority of them were printouts of Simon and Maelles engagement photos. So basically, thats where I am. Cassies gone, shes got a rough couple months ahead of her, and my friends have been paying so much attention to me that its almost annoying. This is the first night since this bullshit went down that Ive been able to be by myself. Im sorry I didnt respond to anyone in the last post, but honestly, I really never want to log into this account again after this. Typing it all out was cathartic, because all of my friends seem to want to avoid the topic for now. I know theyre worried about hurting feelings or overstepping boundaries, and theyre wonderful in that sense, but sometimes a girls just gotta vent.

ArbitraryC posted:

One of my good college friends got super into RCs cause there wasn't a lot of solid options in our small town. I bought some dubs off him and shared my crop of shrooms and such but usually passed when he offered his alternative stock. He made a ton of money and had really nested himself into a small time supplier for the whole area. but eventually he took too many of his RC and flailed around in public hard enough to get the cops called on him, they took all his liquid assets and charged him with a ton of offenses related to the various powders he had onhand.

He ended up getting off close to scot free cause all the possession/dealing charges were based on conventional drugs while he only had RC analogs. At the end of the day they only had weed against him and cause our state was already on the cusp of leaglization he basically walked.

years later he's doin fine, has a kid, a house, and a loving wife. I dunno what the moral of this story is.

Tanith posted:

Last post salvaged by commenter:

quote:

I’ve been using Tinder lately and met up with guy about a month ago. We hooked up a few times and since then he’s been constantly asking me to hang out, calling me “babe”, calling me on the phone, etc. etc. This is another problem in itself. I usually ignore him or laugh it off- I don't want to date him but he's a nice guy. I see him once or twice a week or so.

He’s told me a couple of times in passing that he’s moving back to his state mid August. Yesterday, he told me he has to move out of his house at the beginning of August. I was curious so I asked him where he’s going to stay and he said “With you or I’ll be sleeping on the streets.” I asked him if he was serious and he said “Seriously, I haven’t made any other plans.”

Like, what? That's in a few days. He’s a nice guy, but he didn’t even ask me and now is making me feel really guilty. I like living alone. I know it’s only one week and that I don’t have roommates to deal with, but I don’t want to have to share my space. Is it out of line that I’m feeling kind of creeped out, annoyed, and angry? What should I say? Help!

quote:

My ex also produced the access codes for online investments made with my money which seems to have pissed off my lawyer because it's going to be a headache making sure I get all my money back. 

quote:

Here's a link to my original question

I previously deleted the post just to be safe. But here's a summary: After I got a degree in computer science, my brother and his two partners recruited me to work a summer for them. They wanted me to set up their infrastructure for their new company in Finance and Investments. One summer turned into two years of free work as a secretary, receptionist, Systems Tech, personal assistant, Acountant, research analyst... They paid me about 4 or 5 times totaling about 7-8 thousand dollars in two years. When I left to start grad school they were mad that I wouldn't stay. When I finished grad school and put them on my resume' they lied to prospective employers about me. They denied I worked for them, and said I was trying to use my brother's name to get ahead. They also accused me of visiting their office and sexually harassing female employees they never even had. I called them to ask them about it and they, including my brother just laughed about the whole thing and said I was getting what I deserved. Kind of like "it's what you get when you gently caress with us."

My counselor and some other people from school including my head hunter helped me get a job. But I had to sue my brother and his partners for slander and other things. My brother called me to laugh about the lawsuit when they got served but now they're scared and my brother has my dad pressuring me to drop the lawsuit and just sit down with them both to work something out. My dad called this just a little "big brother bullying little brother nonsense," and demanded I drop the lawsuit. He and my mom uninvited me to thanksgiving at their house but my mom pretty much tried to stay out of it. I could tell this was hard for her.

There's very little to update legally in terms of the lawsuit but I had a laptop that contained lists of clients that my brother and his partners stole from their respective employers before they left to start the company. I didn't want to turn those files over to my attorney cause things are bad enough for them already. My girlfriend had a different opinion, She wants me to just absolutely let them have it and crush them. I called my attorney and told them I had the files and dropped them off at his firm on the 9th. On the 10th I got a call from his firm saying that my attorney needed to see me that very day. I went in and he said that the files would be turned over to the US attorney's office so it's out of our hands now. But he really wanted to talk to me about my parents. He spoke to my dad and basically said that my dad is a "world class prick." He's going to subpoena both my parents to testify at a deposition and probably at trial if we make it that far. He wanted me to prepare myself for what they might say about me. He made it clear there is no turning back now. I didn't pay anything for my attorney to take the case so his firm is very financially invested in this now. Basically, they're calling the shots now.

I think my attorney thinks I'm weak or that I'll want to back off or take it easy on them. He actually told me that he "knows" my family would weaken me. I think he underestimates me. Anyway he told me to just brace myself for the heat my dad will bring on me. I told him I had two older sisters on my side and my mother was pretty neutral. He said assured me that my mother is absolutely not neutral. So he just told me to prepare for anything. So I got phone calls from my two sisters who both live about 300 miles away. They were disgusted with my dad and my brother's behavior and had told me they were 100% behind me. Now they told me that my girlfriend and I are uninvited to go see them and their children this Christmas. They told me they loved me but that I needed to back off of this lawsuit. This was a little bit of a shock. It didn't crush me but it wasn't easy to hear. They won't be contacting me anymore and want me to not contact them and they said they have their reasons. They both cried when they called but I stayed calm.

They also e-mailed my girlfriend to let her know about being uninvited to their homes for Christmas. My girlfriend blasted them both with a very scathing response that I wish she hadn't sent but it's her decision how she responds to them. My dad is getting a little out of control, he confronted me and my girlfriend outside the house of a family friend who had us over for a holiday get-together on Sunday night. It got heated, and I said somethings that were probably below the belt and made him almost cry, his eyes watered and he was trying to not cry. Then my girlfriend jumped in and blasted him like she did my sisters. Basically she's on a roll right now. I can tell the gloves have come off for her. My mom just stayed in my dad's truck and watched but she couldn't hear anything I don't think. For now there's nothing else going on.

Oh one other thing. My attorney said my brother and his partners closed doors on their business already. They went under. They have filed some puzzling and contradictory responses to our lawsuit which surprises me because my brother is smarter than that, usually. They have now changed attorneys and retained a reputable firm. The first thing the new attorneys did is ask what it would take to settle. My attorney says their new attorneys are smart, they know it will be a blood bath in court. I guess I'll just have to wait and see where it goes from here. But some of you commented form experience that the blow back from legal battles like this tears families apart for decades sometimes. I can see how this can happen and probably will.

EDIT: Some of you are asking about why my sisters changed their minds. I know now that my dad helped them both buy their respective houses. They both still owe him a lot of money for that. My best guess is he used that and maybe other things to coerce them into taking his side. tl;dr; Lawsuit is at a stand still, my sisters are now on my dad/brother's side. I turned over the laptop, and it looks like I'm gonna win but it's not over till it's over.

quote:

They were making me unhireable so filing the lawsuit was something I had to do to clear my name. The four big companies that I got interviews with all said the same thing. That they wouldn't hire me because it looked as though I lied into my resume' and also the sexual harassment thing scared other companies away. I'm not suing my whole family. Just my brother and his two partners. They have a lot of money but will probably wind up broke after this. My parents don't depend on my brother for money at all.

I did call them repeatedly and ask them to stop but they just laughed at me and kept charging ahead and slandering me. It just became a game to them and they showed me zero respect. They were hoping I'd have no job to go to and would just come back and work for them again. That's what they thought would happen.
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This, is the best and hardest question I've gotten. I always knew my brother was a bit of a narcissist. I just didn't know the extent of it. because of the age difference I didn't associate with him much. I think what happened here is I truly believed I was helping my brother for one summer, and it quickly turned into two years.

I knew they would be mad when I left. I knew after a few months that all three of them were complete narcissists. I also thought they would hate me for leaving because they relied on me so much to keep the company operating. I knew they would have to hire 5 or 6 people to replace and that's not an exaggeration. So I knew they would be mad. After that first year I knew that this would end up badly between me and my brother. But I could have never guessed it would be this bad. That's why I decided to go apply for grad school.

Sure enough when I finally left, all three of them were really pissed at me. They had not one ounce of gratitude for the two years of free labor. But I never guessed they would slander me like that once I tried to get a job. Especially cause when I was still in grad school they would call me to come in on weekends and work for them. But by then I was waiting tables at a restaurant near school and by then I had a couple of close friends who pretty much shook some sense into me. Cause I actually considered going back to help them part time while I finished school.

I guess I should've seen more of this coming but I was honestly completely and utterly blindsided by them slandering me, and making up the whole sexual harassment BS. As narcissistic as they are and I've never met more narcissistic people, I truly was shocked that they came that hard at me and showed absolutely no compassion.
I didn't want to go into so much detail again, there would just be too much to type. But with what I'm finding out about my brother through my attorney, it's worse than I ever thought. Not paying me, and slandering me was just what I knew about. But now we know there was other stuff, like fraud against me and others that I didn't know about. Serious tax violations also against me and against the IRS, and some identity theft where he used my name on some documents that I clearly didn't sign or even know about. The more they dig the worse it gets. At some point it's almost easier to just tell them to stop digging. Let's just go with what we have. I know one thing, I was very lucky I left them when I did. Otherwise I may have been dragged down with them and legal trouble they have coming their way.
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At this point the damage is done to my family. I don't see the point in backing off now especially since two of the three people I'm suing are not even related to me. Besides I spent weeks calling them and asking them what the hell they were doing by bad mouthing me. I asked them to stop and they just laughed about it. All three of them laughed like they were toying with some little kid. They would say stuff like "don't worry, we'll still hire you when nobody else wants you." They thought it was some kind of funny prank that they were pulling. Then they stepped it up and made up the stuff about me sexually harassing their secretaries which they never had any. Then when I finally sued my brother called me with the sole purpose of laughing at my lawsuit. He laughed and said that they have attorney friends that would work for them for free and that their attorneys would crush my attorney. I could hear his two partners laughing in the background and making jokes to taunt me. They never took me seriously. Then when he was done laughing he told me to just get used to the fact that I would be working for them in the future. He made a joke about what a bad career move it was for me to sue my future employer. So this became very personal for me and I was glad to see that my attorney was just as insulted by them that he's taking this kind of personal. Like I've said many times, the damage is done. My family is gone they're not coming back. So I'm totally on board when my attorney tells me that he's going to make them feel a lot of pain. I just don't think my attorney thinks I can take the heat of a full on trial. But I think he's wrong. Although I don't think it will come to that.
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I posted that a summary in a long comment somewhere on this post. But basically my dad questioned my morals so I brought up stuff about him. He cheated on my mother a long time ago, he got a DUI but gave the cops his brother's name and his brother took the rap for that about 25 years ago. His brother is no longer alive so it hurt him that I brought up how he treated his late brother. There was other stuff about him having been excommunicated form a church for ripping off many of the members when he had a small construction business which he used his brother's license by the way because my dad had his revoked for being a crook. Then my girlfriend asked him how it felt to go to church five days a week, which he does, and then come out and be the crook that he is. Then she asked him what he was going to do if judgment day came tomorrow for him, she asked, "What are you going to do, give god your brother's name and say that he did all those things, not you?"
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They have a very good answer for your question. Here was their reasoning. They wanted me to get licensed and bonded in their field which I did. But I just had the license and still didn't know much about investments. They figured once I get licensed that people would flock to me and bring their portfolios. They wanted me to call all my friends' parents and anybody I knew to come see us for a "Free Portfolio review" and then they said they would close the deal and I would make so much money that I would be swimming in it. So that's how I found out in the end that they planned on paying me all along. They figured after then made me filthy rich they wouldn't owe anything any more. That's how delusional they were. That's why I finally left.
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As far as the company closing its doors it won't matter to our case. The three idiots never incorporated, no LLC, no partnership, nothing. The company had a name but it was just a name they registered as a dba with the county clerk and had stationery made. They didn't trust each other enough to have a corporation being paid all the commissions and then having a corporation pay them. They wanted to keep their commissions totally separate. Then they split the bills three ways. I know that because I kept financial statements up to date for all three of them. So all the business they did in the four years was in their own names. That's why all three of them have now transferred the deeds to their homes to their wives. They know there's no corporation to hide behind.

quote:

Here's a link to the last update, the original post was deleted but the update contains a brief summary of it.

Ok, let me begin by saying that I am not the original poster. I am his girlfriend. We live together and I read the update post. My boyfriend is moving on and wasn't going to post a last update so I asked if I could and he said yes.

Things have wrapped up. They signed a settlement agreement and now it's up to the judge to approve it. The judge won't do that for two more weeks but apparently it's a formality. It's a sure thing he'll approve it is what the attorneys say anyway.

As far as the settlement, I can't really disclose much but I can say that it's close to what my boyfriend was suing for in terms of money figure. They had transferred their houses to their wives' names which are in the process of being sold to pay off the settlement.

The settlement included a written apology and complete admission of guilt from all three of the defendants. They also have to write apology letters and retractions to all the employers that refused to hire my boyfriend based on them slandering him. I think there were four companies in all. All three of them had their license taken away and will never work as financial advisors again in any state apparently. They also will face a criminal investigation due to some forged signatures on some of the deals they made. Which will lead to conviction but probably no jail time according to the experts.

Financially they are beyond ruined which is what I thought they deserved the whole time. I know my boyfriend regrets this whole thing and I understand that. It's still his family and they were close at some point. I think he's better off without them anyway but that's easy for me to say.

His parents are totally a lost cause. I don't think there will be a reconciliation in this lifetime after what's happened. I thought my boyfriend would be open to one when the dust settled but now I don't. During the mediation hearings his mom and dad both testified. They both lied but I knew his crooked dad would.

I was shocked that the mother lied about there having been a verbal agreement that my boyfriend would work for his brother's company in exchange for room and board at the parents house, and that the dad had also been paying him in cash for working. She said she witnessed my boyfriend refusing payment from his brother many times. She lied about a lot of other very hurtful things right there while my boyfriend sat there and watched her. She never looked at him not once. His dad never looked at him either but at least he sat there the whole time after he'd testified to support his older son and his friends.

His mother left the room crying after she testified. I was not shocked that she testified because the attorney had said she might. But I was extremely shocked about the horrible things she said about my boyfriend. She will someday regret doing that to her son. Ugh, such an awful and just revolting and repulsive thing what she did. What she did to her youngest son is inexcusable. I was beyond utterly disgusting that she did that. Ugh, she really has no clue how much damage she did to her youngest son. I doubt he'll ever get over it, and I doubt he will ever want to see her again.

Not to rant about the mother but she lied and said disgusting things about her youngest son, and he's the only good son she has. He's the only one who doesn't owe his dad anything. He's the only one with a compassion and high morals, the only one who constantly worried about her and kept in touch with her, ugh, she messed up in the most disgusting way. How can she do that? He was there for her more than her other three kids put together. All for a lawsuit that she had to know they were going to lose. Her testimony did nothing to help their case, nothing. She testified for absolutely no reason.

We sent Christmas gifts to my boyfriend's sisters and their daughters. We received thank you cards in return. They haven't contacted my boyfriend since but I have received a couple of hello e-mails from one of them. She never mentions my boyfriend or the family problems, she just says hello and asks how I'm doing. I just respond by saying we are both good and hope they are all doing well. I'm not sure where this will go but it's a small step in what seems like will be a long road before they are allowed by their father to reconcile with their brother, or until they have the courage to do so without the dad's blessing. I think they are both too embarrassed to contact my boyfriend directly. I can sense that they are trying to find a way that will eventually lead them to him. I think they need to just contact him but that's not my decision. I keep looking at this from my perspective and my family is really close so it's hard to watch what's going on with his family. I just think what the hell? Why do you do this to each other? But that's just how it is.

Just to be clear I knew very early on that my boyfriend's parents were toxic. I initially just wanted him to cut all ties with them with the way they sided with the older brother knowing how he tried to destroy my his own little brother's career told me a lot. I wished back then that my boyfriend would just disown them but I knew that was unrealistic at the time. I knew i was emotional, and I backed off when I saw how stressed my boyfriend was. But things escalated and escalated and now I think my boyfriend's mom has dealt a death blow to any chance of reconciliation. I'm not just saying that because I'm against it. I'm not for it, and I'm disgusted with her. But I can see the damage she did up close. I'm afraid he may never forgive her. She just went overboard in such a horrible way.

I have been talking to my dad about this the whole time and every thing has turned out exactly the he said it would. Every body, all parties are destroyed. It's like a bomb went off and everybody got hit.

tl;dr; the lawsuit is settled, my boyfriend's mother slandered him worse than his brother did, and there won't be a reconciliation ever from what I can tell

Dunning Krugerrand posted:

First post was deleted but he summarized it in the first update.

UPDATE: I (M27) am suing my brother (M41) and my GF (F23) wants me to disown my parents too. Is she right?


Some comments from the first post and update so you can really get a grasp of just how cartoonishly malicious this guy's family is-


FINAL UPDATE: I (27) am suing my brother (42) and my girlfriend (23) wants me to disown my parents too. Is she right?

Dunning Krugerrand posted:

. He cheated on my mother a long time ago, he got a DUI but gave the cops his brother's name and his brother took the rap for that about 25 years ago.
...

Then my girlfriend asked him how it felt to go to church five days a week, which he does, and then come out and be the crook that he is. Then she asked him what he was going to do if judgment day came tomorrow for him, she asked, "What are you going to do, give god your brother's name and say that he did all those things, not you?" 

Dunning Krugerrand posted:

As far as the settlement, I can't really disclose much but I can say that it's close to what my boyfriend was suing for in terms of money figure. They had transferred their houses to their wives' names which are in the process of being sold to pay off the settlement. 

quote:

The settlement included a written apology and complete admission of guilt from all three of the defendants. They also have to write apology letters and retractions to all the employers that refused to hire my boyfriend based on them slandering him. I think there were four companies in all. All three of them had their license taken away and will never work as financial advisors again in any state apparently. They also will face a criminal investigation due to some forged signatures on some of the deals they made. Which will lead to conviction but probably no jail time according to the experts. 

quote:

Financially they are beyond ruined 

quote:

"What are you going to do, give god your brother's name and say that he did all those things, not you?"

andrew smash posted:

Girlfriend owns

quote:

I don't know if I'm being unreasonable, honestly. So today is his birthday and I spent the past few days already celebrating with dinner, a pre birthday cake, lots of handmade gifts and bought gifts. Thing is i put a lot of thought into personalising the meals and gifts specific to his likes. Everything i did i poured my heart and soul into. I really love him.

Anyway, today(day of actual bday), i woke up sick(fever,nasty sore throat and cold). I still did his breakfast for him(a special one) and prepared another cake for tonight's celebrations. I thought I'd just get better as the day progressed seeing as i dont fall sick much and usually recover really quickly. But as the day went on, I just felt even worse.

Came home to him sick as a dog and apologised for definitely having to miss his celebration. Hehad invited his godparents and a few friends for drinks. I took my meds and laid on the couch whilst he got ready to leave. I was so upset that i couldn't join that i was tearing up.

As he was leaving, i reminded him about the cake but he said we'd have it another day and it was okay. I was disappointed seeing as i had prepared it hoping he'd get to enjoy it tonight; got candles and all it wasn't used.
Then he asked me if i needed anything and i said no i was ordering soup from food delivery. Apparently I mumbled my answer and that, i quote, "did him in". You know how when youre sick and you just dont have the mood to talk? Yeah.

He just got home and said he wasnt annoyed with me but made an example of how he always powers through anything even when sick or not in the mood. The way he said it was very disappointing. Basically it felt like "if you cant do what i do, you're a piece of poo poo". Thats him. Im not him. Thats when he saidmy mumbling "did him in". I started crying my eyes out and im still crying right now. I put so much time and effort into his birthday plans and one sick mumble of mine DID HIM IN.

Im so disappointed. I could barely get my words out cuz i was crying so hard. Told him to go away instead. So guys, am I exaggerating here cuz judging from his reactions, i feel as though i am. I feel as though he thinks I don't care enough about him or that i am intentionally doing this because if i did not POWER THROUGH IT.

Edit : No, im not a drama queen. Im far from it. Im pinning all the tears on frustration due to his reaction and justification of said reaction and definitely being sick as a dog in general

Tldr; boyfriend is annoyed that i got sick on his birthday and couldn't join his celebration

La Brea Carpet posted:

My (24f) boyfriend (28m) is annoyed with me for missing his birthday celebration because i was sick.

ranbo das posted:

Holy gently caress

blarzgh posted:

However, "The older brothers were transferring their houses into their wive's names" is not a way to pay off a settlement - is a way to hide assets from a judgment, and a potential fraud. Her final update is fraught with red flags to me.

quote:

A little over a month ago I moved in with my boyfriend and his friend. The two have been roommates for about three years now and have a food system in place. My boyfriend does most of the shopping and the bill gets split in equal ways. We do a lot of meals together so it would seem like it would make sense.

My boyfriend and his roommate have pretty similar eating habits. They both are great cooks and make everything from scratch. They often make elaborate meals that require ingredients that stray from the average "basics" of grocery shopping. Both of them are very picky about the quality of food and spend extra money for better quality.

I recently graduated from college and learned how to make simple healthy meals that are very cheap.

When I lived on my own I averaged about $150 on groceries a month including eating out.

An average day of eating (when I'm alone) would be something like:

breakfast: an egg, tomato slices, and spinach slices on bread and some black coffee.

lunch: A simple garden salad with some french bread

dinner: Some kind of meat over rice with cooked veggies on the side.

snacks: fresh veggies, cheese, pretzels, etc. Just something simple and cheap to munch on.

My boyfriend and his friend like to make elaborate heavy meals. His friend refuses to eat leftovers so he often makes way too much and throws half his plate away.

I feel like I have to rush through food if I want to get my "fair" portion of groceries. If I ate at my normal pace, I would only get about 1/3 of the portion groceries that I paid for. While I like most of the foods they buy and I
would be willing to eat them, regardless of what the food is, they eat much more food than I do so I am paying for 1/3 of the food but not even getting that much.

We bought 5 dozen eggs a week ago. I only got to eat two before the entire package was done.

My boyfriend and his friend will power through an entire bag of snack (chips, pretzels) in a day.

My boyfriend will often cook so much food at once that we can't get through the leftovers before they go bad. His roommate refuses to eat his leftovers. SO much food is wasted.

This month I alone spent over $300 contributing toward the grocery pot. It's absolutely insane! Because my SO and I are the only ones who do actual grocery shopping to stock the house (his friend will order takeout or buy groceries for one meal at a time if needed), I've noticed he's actually getting a pretty sweet deal. Sometimes he'll say he doesn't want most of what we bought anyway, so he won't pay for it, but then will help himself to the
few things he does want, which is still stuff that we paid for.

I don't have a lot of money. I JUST started working and I don't make very much. If I continue going along with this budget, all of my "fun" money will go toward their eating habits.
To be honest, I don't care about having nice "family dinners" with my SO and his friend. I hate that they spend 2+ hours preparing food every night when I could just make my own simple, healthy dinner and be done with cooking and eating in a half hour.

I don't care about the quality of food to the extent that they do so I am willing to take cheaper over nicer for some foods.

I've never shared groceries with any of the six roommates I've had in the past (except occasional favors). I really don't like this system and don't want to be a part of it.

It would be easy to say to a regular roommate, but I don't know how to get this through to my SO. I've talked to him about making cheaper meals, but he still wants us to eat together every meal and he still insists on making meals that are still more expensive than I would prefer.

How have you all dealt with this situation in the past?

Do I just accept that my food bill will be higher living with my SO?

tl;dr: My food bill has more than doubled since I've moved in with my SO and his friend. They have a shared food system and I feel like I am being ripped off by it.

blarzgh posted:

The only thing I don't believe about the slander lawsuit is that he got a "huge settlement" out of it. I'm sure they did settle, since 97% of civil suits eventually do, but defamation suits are extremely difficult to prove damages for.

The amount of work on the front end for an attorney to track down the people at these major companies that the older brother would have called, and get them to testify or agree to, and then admit that the only reason the guy wasn't hired was because of what the older brother said, and to prove up lost wages, etc. etc. is a fuckton of work, and would be really expensive. I doubt jobless man could afford the attorneys fees.

Maybe the attorney was on a contingency fee, though so its possible.

However, "The older brothers were transferring their houses into their wive's names" is not a way to pay off a settlement - is a way to hide assets from a judgment, and a potential fraud. Her final update is fraught with red flags to me.

La Brea Carpet posted:

I [22F] recently moved in with my SO [26M] and his friend [26M]. My food budget has more than doubled due to their communal food system.


She is dating Gaston Smashmouth.

A Wizard of Goatse posted:

They were transferring their houses to their wives to try to avoid them getting liquidated in the ridiculous endlessly-escalating legal shitstorm that was descending on them from all sides, not pay off the brother. How would that even make sense?

those three were the dumbest loving dudes on the planet and did everything short of sneak into prison and put themselves in manacles. like, at any point in the story they could have cut their losses and gotten off pretty inconsequentially but instead they decided to do the very worst thing

WampaLord posted:

The thing that blows me away is they never incorporated their business. If they were smart enough to become a LLC, they wouldn't have lost anything personally, that's the entire point of being a Limited Liability Corporation.

It's the cherry on top of the justice sundae.

A Wizard of Goatse posted:

it does make a lot of sense that they straight up wouldn't trust each other enough to form a legal entity with shared ownership though.

Kullik posted:

gently caress anyone who refuses to eat leftovers.
My girlfriend is like this and it drives me loving mental.

WampaLord posted:

The thing that blows me away is they never incorporated their business. If they were smart enough to become a LLC, they wouldn't have lost anything personally, that's the entire point of being a Limited Liability Corporation.

It's the cherry on top of the justice sundae.

A Wizard of Goatse posted:

They were transferring their houses to their wives to try to avoid them getting liquidated in the ridiculous endlessly-escalating legal shitstorm that was descending on them from all sides, not pay off the brother. How would that even make sense?

quote:

 They had transferred their houses to their wives' names which are in the process of being sold to pay off the settlement

blarzgh posted:

The only thing I don't believe about the slander lawsuit is that he got a "huge settlement" out of it. I'm sure they did settle, since 97% of civil suits eventually do, but defamation suits are extremely difficult to prove damages for.

The amount of work on the front end for an attorney to track down the people at these major companies that the older brother would have called, and get them to testify or agree to, and then admit that the only reason the guy wasn't hired was because of what the older brother said, and to prove up lost wages, etc. etc. is a fuckton of work, and would be really expensive. I doubt jobless man could afford the attorneys fees.

Maybe the attorney was on a contingency fee, though so its possible.

However, "The older brothers were transferring their houses into their wive's names" is not a way to pay off a settlement - is a way to hide assets from a judgment, and a potential fraud. Her final update is fraught with red flags to me.

andrew smash posted:

He says early on that he paid his lawyer nothing up front and the guy was working on contigency. Also I could be wrong but it seemed clear to me based on the GFs post that the partners got caught hiding assets under their wives' names and those were being liquidated to pay the settlement.

Ride The Gravitron posted: