/r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

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Crust First: May 1, 2013; Wrong lads.

I mean I'm not saying I'd have sex with one of those old Volvos but I'd certainly give them a massage.

# ? Jul 30, 2017 03:00

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# ? May 28, 2024 09:06

Pvt.Scott: Feb 16, 2007; What God wants, God gets, God help us all

Intruder posted:

Sorry but I don't trust anyone with no vices

I'm about a thousand posts behind, but

:same:

# ? Jul 30, 2017 03:04

precision: May 7, 2006; by VideoGames

La Brea Carpet posted:

I 20f saw my 22m boyfriends apartment for the first time and it creeped me out

The lack of a laptop/computer is the only thing that's particularly weird here, lots of young professionals don't buy furniture for their first apartment

WampaLord posted:

Here, Mirthless, defend this one:

Me [29 M] and my girlfriend [25 F] of ~1 month, move-in together?!

Falling in love very quickly is not inherently a red flag. For everyone I know who's had that go very wrong, I know a couple for whom it went totally fine because it turns out they fell in love so fast because... they were super compatible!

# ? Jul 30, 2017 03:10

Absurd Alhazred: Mar 27, 2010; by Athanatos

WampaLord posted:

Normally I don't double post, but I found a real gem. Long, but well worth it.

Would you leave your SO if you found out they were sexually attracted to something strange? An argument with my GF[20f] of 1yr. Me [24m][Serious]
...
It's funny, I then asked her if we changed the car to, say, a watermelon. That what if I just found watermelons so sexually attractive, and I loved to gently caress watermelons, would she leave me over that? And her response was that.... she didn't know. So, loving juicy plump watermelons is fair game, but switch it for a car, and woah woah all of a sudden that is crossing a line.
...

Wow, JRod seeking relationship advice!

La Brea Carpet posted:

[UT] Serious question, is plant-based pornography considered obscene enough to be illegal?

And it's the Muslims and their Sharia Law we should be worried about, right?

# ? Jul 30, 2017 03:11

Outrail: Jan 4, 2009; www.sapphicrobotica.com

What the hell kind of plants are they banging os what I want to know? Redwood? Ironbark? Cactus?

# ? Jul 30, 2017 03:13

La Brea Carpet: Nov 22, 2007; I have no mouth and I must post

Outrail posted:

What the hell kind of plants are they banging os what I want to know? Redwood? Ironbark? Cactus?

It's a variety pack

quote:

We mainly get Dendrophiliacs (People who are sexually attracted to trees or tree-like structures) Vine fetishists, pollination fetishists, and human-to-plant transformation.

# ? Jul 30, 2017 03:15

Cough Drop The Beat: Jan 22, 2012; by Lowtax

Haifisch posted:

Me VS Pok�mon

What kind of living, breathing man in his 20s would rather play Pokemon (or any video game) than fondle his girlfriend?????? :cripes:

# ? Jul 30, 2017 03:18

Grem: Mar 29, 2004; Can't post for 7 hours!

Cough Drop The Beat posted:

What kind of living, breathing man in his 20s would rather play Pokemon (or any video game) than fondle his girlfriend??????

My girlfriend is very unpleasant.

# ? Jul 30, 2017 03:19

Outrail: Jan 4, 2009; www.sapphicrobotica.com

La Brea Carpet posted:

It's a variety pack

I want names. Latin; Genera, species.

# ? Jul 30, 2017 03:21

La Brea Carpet: Nov 22, 2007; I have no mouth and I must post

Grem posted:

My girlfriend is very unpleasant.

Have you tried using the pokeflute?

# ? Jul 30, 2017 03:21

Haifisch: Nov 13, 2010; Objection! I object! That was... objectionable!; Taco Defender

My [14f] mom [late 40s F] says I'm being rude for asking my little bro [7m] to wash his hands.

quote:

So, um this is kinda petty compared to most of the stuff here, but I'd like to know what to do.

So, first of all, my mom won't wash her hands at all. Uses the bathroom? Uses chemicals to clean something? Blows her nose? Flosses? Nope, nope, nope, and nope. She won't wash her hands before cooking either, which is just really scary to me. I'm definitely going to learn how to cook very soon.

Ok, whatever, she does wash her hands when I ask her to (she laughs while doing it, but there's nothing I can really do other than ask her to before cooking). And admittedly I am really sensitive about my hands; I wash my hands after doing pretty much anything. However, I feel like this is way too ridiculous. My little brother follows her example, and he is so much dirtier than her. Whenever he eats, he usually doesn't use forks, and just stuffs it in his mouth, then licks his hand.

Of course, that isn't enough. He HAS to eat on the sofa, and wipe his hands on it like it's a napkin. He picks his nose, doesn't wash his hands, then uses the ipad and my mom's phone. He runs around naked and rolls around EVERYWHERE. There's probably urine smeared pretty much everywhere in the house.

He never washes his hands. I know that little kids aren't really into washing hands, but this is just too much. He literally does not wash his hands. The only time he does is when he takes a bath. I've banned him from my room, but I know that he goes inside when I'm not at home. He ruined all of my Pokemon EX cards in one go a couple of months ago. I've found legos in my room, and I don't even play with them. My parents won't let me get a lock, though. And he never gets punished other than my mom telling him not to go into my room.

I'm always asking him to wash his hands (I think he'll grow out of the clothes tbh, so I don't really care), and he always whines at me and goes to mom. And every time, my mom tells me that I'm not 'respecting his boundaries' and that 'it's not a big deal'.

It IS a big deal to me, and it's not like I'm asking him to wash his hands like I do (which is honestly kinda unhealthy, but I just can't stand feeling dirty). Just do it after eating and picking his nose (I'd hope that he's doing it after using the restroom...).

Am I really overreacting? Is there anything I can do?

tl;dr: My little brother is a total slob who does unholy things with his hands, and my mom says I'm being stupid for asking him to wash his hands.

# ? Jul 30, 2017 03:36

Absurd Alhazred: Mar 27, 2010; by Athanatos

Haifisch posted:

My [14f] mom [late 40s F] says I'm being rude for asking my little bro [7m] to wash his hands.

Hey, did you know that you could get a vaccine for cholera and other illnesses associated with unsanitary conditions normally associated with war zones and the poorest parts of the 3rd world? She might want to get her hands on a few of those.

# ? Jul 30, 2017 03:43

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

Gumbel2Gumbel posted:

Like 3 months ago you were working in a hospice or w/e and you had a bunch of presents and taxidermy stored everywhere

That was longer ago and yeah I was working there and I got a better job elsewhere :shrug:

# ? Jul 30, 2017 04:21

Ride The Gravitron: May 2, 2008; by FactsAreUseless

Pick posted:

That was longer ago and yeah I was working there and I got a better job elsewhere

Congratulations on your self improvement.

# ? Jul 30, 2017 05:13

WampaLord: Jan 14, 2010

I found another one for the "Dickbag HOA" file

HOA insists my sister and I are not a single-family household and one of us should move out. We've lived here all our lives.

quote:

I'm 21 and my sister is 19. We've lived in this house our entire lives. Our parents bought this house 27 years ago. They joined the HOA about 15 years ago.

My dad died 5 years ago, mom died 6 months ago. We are now the owners of this house.

We've been visited by the HOA multiple times, they're citing that we're not a single-family home anymore since our mom has died. They've told us that according to the terms, only a single family can be resident in the homes and being single family is defined as a person or couple and their legal unmarried children. This meant that my mom could live with me and my sister as it was a single family according to the definition, but me and my sister living here after our mom's death means we are two families of single adults. They want one of us to move out so that this place becomes a single family home again.

They've visited us FOUR times now asking us to leave. They say they don't like to sue our of respect for our parents but they will do that if we continue to refuse to comply by the community rules.

Can they kick one of us out of our own house? What should we expect and how can we fight this?

Edit: location is Washington state.

HOAs are the loving scum of the earth. Nothing but busybodies with terrible lives who have to meddle with other people to feel a sense of power and purpose. I'm sure there are good ones out there, but I've literally never heard of one.

# ? Jul 30, 2017 06:32

Absurd Alhazred: Mar 27, 2010; by Athanatos

WampaLord posted:

I found another one for the "Dickbag HOA" file

HOA insists my sister and I are not a single-family household and one of us should move out. We've lived here all our lives.

HOAs are the loving scum of the earth. Nothing but busybodies with terrible lives who have to meddle with other people to feel a sense of power and purpose. I'm sure there are good ones out there, but I've literally never heard of one.

Wait, he says their parents are the ones who joined the HOA, not them. Don't they have a case that they never signed up for it, so they're not liable for any of their terms (or at least have some leverage in amending those terms)?

# ? Jul 30, 2017 06:35

WampaLord: Jan 14, 2010

Absurd Alhazred posted:

Wait, he says their parents are the ones who joined the HOA, not them. Don't they have a case that they never signed up for it, so they're not liable for any of their terms (or at least have some leverage in amending those terms)?

He didn't comment a lot, but from what he did say I figured out that they've only received verbal warnings from the HOA and nothing in writing yet, so I'm thinking this is all just a threat the HOA is pulling to try to scare 2 young adults who don't know better.

# ? Jul 30, 2017 06:43

goethe.cx: Apr 23, 2014

Absurd Alhazred posted:

Wait, he says their parents are the ones who joined the HOA, not them. Don't they have a case that they never signed up for it, so they're not liable for any of their terms (or at least have some leverage in amending those terms)?

it all depends on what the terms of the HOA agreement were and what state law says--maybe the kids are in "privity of contract" with the HOA, but maybe not

# ? Jul 30, 2017 06:45

DragQueenofAngmar: Dec 29, 2009; You shall not pass!

honestly it depends exactly 0% on how legally right they are, and 100% on how small their town is/how connected the hoa is with the mover and shakers of their town

it blows

# ? Jul 30, 2017 06:46

Anil Dikshit: Apr 11, 2007

WampaLord posted:

I found another one for the "Dickbag HOA" file

HOA insists my sister and I are not a single-family household and one of us should move out. We've lived here all our lives.

HOAs are the loving scum of the earth. Nothing but busybodies with terrible lives who have to meddle with other people to feel a sense of power and purpose. I'm sure there are good ones out there, but I've literally never heard of one.

Easy: Legally adopt your younger sister as your daughter. Added bonus: until she turns 26, you can have her on your health insurance.

# ? Jul 30, 2017 06:51

HoAssHo: Mar 10, 2005

WampaLord posted:

I found another one for the "Dickbag HOA" file

HOA insists my sister and I are not a single-family household and one of us should move out. We've lived here all our lives.

HOAs are the loving scum of the earth. Nothing but busybodies with terrible lives who have to meddle with other people to feel a sense of power and purpose. I'm sure there are good ones out there, but I've literally never heard of one.

Ours is neither good nor bad. They just don't do much. I think we've only heard from them like twice in 10 years (to vote on something). We just pay like $100 a year for the street lights and they stay out of our business.

# ? Jul 30, 2017 06:55

Haifisch: Nov 13, 2010; Objection! I object! That was... objectionable!; Taco Defender

WampaLord posted:

He didn't comment a lot, but from what he did say I figured out that they've only received verbal warnings from the HOA and nothing in writing yet, so I'm thinking this is all just a threat the HOA is pulling to try to scare 2 young adults who don't know better.

Also

says that if they got other neighbors involved, the shitstorm would get the HOA to back down real quick.

Assuming OP's family isn't super unpopular for whatever reason, anyway.

# ? Jul 30, 2017 06:59

HoAssHo: Mar 10, 2005

What do they even stand to gain by making one move out? How is this to the neighborhood's benefit in some way?

# ? Jul 30, 2017 07:00

tactlessbastard: Feb 4, 2001; Godspeed, post; Fun Shoe

HoAssHo posted:

What do they even stand to gain by making one move out? How is this to the neighborhood's benefit in some way?

Get rid of a couple of useless millenials that don't care about lawn care enough

# ? Jul 30, 2017 07:02

Absurd Alhazred: Mar 27, 2010; by Athanatos

My boyfriend persuaded me to have a baby but now refuses to support it.

quote:

Hello. I am from Mississippi. My boyfriend and I have been together for two years. We always used birth control. A few months ago, we were fooling around, and, out of the blue, my boyfriend suggested we try to have a baby. I was perplexed because he had always expressed disinterest in children. He started fantasizing about a wonderful family we could have, emphasizing his love and commitment to me. I was so taken aback and, after a few hours, he eventually persuaded me. I probably asked him a hundred times if he was sure, each of which he replied in the affirmative.

Well after a short while, he changed his tune and told me to go back on the pill. I was again confused but obliged. Shortly afterward, I found out I was pregnant. I felt a rush of emotions � fear, anxiety, and, surprisingly, joy. I thought it was nice to have a little person growing inside of me, depending on me for support. But I was mostly worried about how my boyfriend would feel. That night, I gradually broached the subject and eventually told him.

He hit the roof and accused me of plotting against him. I reminded him that he persuaded me to try for a baby, and he said that was just stupid pillow talk. He ordered me to �get rid of it,� to which I felt sick. He has known from the very beginning of our relationship that I am terrified by even the thought of abortion, and he always said he felt the same way. I tried to placate and reason with him, but he just kept calling me a lying slut and a bitch. He snapped that I would never get a cent of his money and stormed out.

I was completely flummoxed and scared. I know several single mothers who were abandoned by their boyfriends/husbands and are struggling immensely to raise their children on their own. I swore I would never end up like them. But I know that I cannot raise a baby on my own. I even started considering abortion, but the closest abortion clinic is over a hundred miles away, and abortion is not covered by insurance in my state.

Unfortunately, I could not even have a conversation with my boyfriend, as he kicked me out of our apartment and cut off all communication with me. I spent weeks simply trying to talk to him. He eventually relented, just in time to introduce me to his new girlfriend, seated in the passenger seat of his brand new truck. I was devastated. I even gave abortion a second thought but realized I had just passed the 20-week threshold. To top it off, I was fired from my job for unexplained reasons (just days after I put in a request for a larger uniform to accommodate my baby bump).

My boyfriend was the one who coaxed me into going off the pill and making love night after night. He promised me, swore up and down, that he would always be there for the baby and me. And now that we are pregnant, he wants nothing to do with the baby or me. How can he do this? How can a father want nothing to do his own child? Our baby is our creation, and every day, I find myself growing more and more attached to it. When I feel it kicking inside of my stomach, I feel warm and joyful. But I know that I cannot afford to feed and clothe it on my own, and I know that I will not be able to give it up once I hold it in my arms. I really, really do not want to have to go to court, but as my bump grows and my paltry savings diminish, I fear that I may have no other option. I don't care about myself; I just want our baby to have its basic needs met. What can I do?

# ? Jul 30, 2017 07:29

Anil Dikshit: Apr 11, 2007

Absurd Alhazred posted:

My boyfriend persuaded me to have a baby but now refuses to support it.

File for child support, create a fake Facebook account, friend him and his girlfriend, study every post, if he mentions a lot of overtime/a new job/planning expensive vacations/planning to buy a new truck, try to take him to court to get support increased.

Edit: that's what one of my coworkers says his ex does, anyway.

# ? Jul 30, 2017 07:33

Malachite_Dragon: Mar 31, 2010; Weaving Merry Christmas magic

For once, I'm going to preemptively agree with Picks inevitable suggestion of :murder:

# ? Jul 30, 2017 07:34

Absurd Alhazred: Mar 27, 2010; by Athanatos

Malachite_Dragon posted:

For once, I'm going to preemptively agree with Picks inevitable suggestion of

Dead men don't pay child support.

# ? Jul 30, 2017 07:35

Ziv Zulander: Mar 24, 2017; ZZ for short

Absurd Alhazred posted:

My boyfriend persuaded me to have a baby but now refuses to support it.

No one in the world ever gets what they want and that is beautiful
Everybody dies frustrated and sad and that is beautiful

# ? Jul 30, 2017 07:38

Malachite_Dragon: Mar 31, 2010; Weaving Merry Christmas magic

Absurd Alhazred posted:

Dead men don't pay child support.

Hmm, good point. Can I at least kick him in the balls really, really hard with steel toes?

# ? Jul 30, 2017 07:39

Absurd Alhazred: Mar 27, 2010; by Athanatos

Malachite_Dragon posted:

Hmm, good point. Can I at least kick him in the balls really, really hard with steel toes?

In those days Israel had no king; everyone did as they saw fit.

# ? Jul 30, 2017 07:42

paragon1: Nov 22, 2010; FULL COMMUNISM NOW

Absurd Alhazred posted:

Dead men don't pay child support.

Their estates do probate out to living heirs, however.

# ? Jul 30, 2017 09:41

Milotic: Mar 4, 2009; 9CL apologist; Slippery Tilde

Let your daughter be disrespected and treated like poo poo so you can play real life Sylvanian families

I [25 F] broke up with fiance [25 M] 8 months ago after he cheated, both our families won't let me move on.

quote:

u/lovebug4604
Some backstory about our families Me and my ex "Paul" have been in each others lives since we were babies. Our mothers have been best friends since they were kids and are basically sisters. They went to the same college, married close to one another and had us, their first children months apart. Me and Paul spend a lot of time with each other since he lived across the street and our parents were always together hanging out. It was clear that our parents wanted us to end up together and eventually we did start dating in high school. We continued dating and got engaged after we both graduated college. As you probably know our families were ecstatic about the announcement and both of our moms were very involved in the planning, it was going to be a big affair.

Paul was kind, intelligent, and always knew how to make me laugh and bring me out of one of my funks. I thought everything was fine. We were living together and starting our new careers. Around the end of September Paul had started becoming distant. I had just assumed that the wedding planning and starting his new job was stressing him out so I didn't think much of it. Usually he was very open to talking about what was bothering him but then he'd just say that nothing was wrong and change the subject. were having sex less and he wasn't as cuddly as he used to be. I'd also notice that he'd leave the house later at night to go on "errands". Again I didn't think anything of it at the time but eventually it was happening 5 nights a week and I started to get suspicious.

I never want to be the jealous type but when he was in the other room playing video games I went through his phone. I found out he was sexting a coworker and it had been going on for over 2 months. They exchanged pictures and he even said I love you to her. I'd also got confirmation that those "errands" he was running were actually to just go meet up with her and have sex. I was crushed. I took pictures of the chats then immediately confronted him. He was in shock. The first thing he said was why I was going through his phone. I told him how sketchy he was being and now I knew my suspicions were true. I told him the engagement was done and I was breaking up with him. He started sobbing and begging me not to leave. He said the girl meant nothing to him and he didn't know why he did it. i just started packing my things and left to my moms. I get to my moms house and of course Pauls parents were there. It was hard to hide my emotions at the time so I just exploded and told them what happened. The initial reaction was on my side and they said what an idiot their son was. This all changed as soon as I said the wedding was off and that I broke up with him. They immediately changed positions and said "things happen" and not to act so hastily. I was in utter shock. focusing on my parents. their own daughter was just cheated on by her fiance and they want her to work it out because "things happen". I couldn't believe it.

Fast forward to now and they've still not let it go. Every chance they get I'm cornered by one of them to get me to forgive Paul and that he's changed. I can't even attend family gatherings anymore since Paul is of course there and it turns into some giant intervention to get me to take him back. I've changed my number twice since my mom keeps giving the new one to Paul. He calls me constantly to get me to forgive him and "start over" Flowers are left at my apartment every week and he's always trying to see me at work. I don't know what to do. I've tried just not seeing them at the house and only meeting my parents for lunch to catch up but either Paul is there or his mother and the entire conversation turns into when I'm gonna forgive and forget. The only people who seem to be on my side are my younger siblings. I've moved on and don't want to be with a cheater but our parents just won't let it go.

Thank you all for your help, I've read every message and really appreciate all the support.

tl;dr: My fiance cheated on me with his coworker 8 months ago. Both our parents want me to move on and forgive him.

# ? Jul 30, 2017 11:20

Ride The Gravitron: May 2, 2008; by FactsAreUseless

Malachite_Dragon posted:

Hmm, good point. Can I at least kick him in the balls really, really hard with steel toes?

Hmmmm

I'll allow it

# ? Jul 30, 2017 12:51

Ride The Gravitron: May 2, 2008; by FactsAreUseless

I [28M] think I cost myself my wife and son [27F&3M]. I took my eyes off him while playing a video game and something bad could have happened.

quote:

It's almost midnight and I can't sleep. I really, really hosed up today. I really do feel like my wife was on the verge of killing me. She was pissed beyond belief. She's taken our son to go live with her best friend for a while.

I was suppose to be watching him this afternoon. I got distracted by this video game I was playing, and I didn't hear him open the backdoor. My wife came home probably just in time. She was walking around the asking me Dan was. When I said I didn't know she threw her bag on the ground and yelled, "What do you mean you don't loving know!?1?" We both went around the house looking for him. She was freaking out because she couldn't find him. She looked at the window and he crawled under our fence and was playing by the edge of the woods. She ran out there and got him. She let me have it. She was ranting and raving. Sooner or later she packed her bags and left with our son.

tl;dr: I think wife has left me.

Don't date/marry gamers

# ? Jul 30, 2017 13:20

blarzgh: Apr 14, 2009; SNITCHIN' RANDY; Grimey Drawer

WampaLord posted:

I found another one for the "Dickbag HOA" file

HOA insists my sister and I are not a single-family household and one of us should move out. We've lived here all our lives.

- HOA rules generally attach to the land, which means they apply to the property no matter who owns it.

- "Single Family Residential" generally means no more than three people living together who aren't related by blood, marriage, or adoption. Its a definition designed to prevent landlords cramming a bunch of poor people into a house, one house having tons of cars in the driveway, etc. etc.

A brother/absolutely don't meet this definition. HOA person is definitely "misinterpreting" the rule.

- HOAs are a necessary evil.

# ? Jul 30, 2017 13:54

Barudak: May 7, 2007

Milotic posted:

Let your daughter be disrespected and treated like poo poo so you can play real life Sylvanian families

I [25 F] broke up with fiance [25 M] 8 months ago after he cheated, both our families won't let me move on.

The only way this can seemingly work in my hear is if both sets of parents are super confused and think the other family is super wealthy

# ? Jul 30, 2017 14:12

andrew smash: Jun 26, 2006; smooth soul

blarzgh posted:

- HOA rules generally attach to the land, which means they apply to the property no matter who owns it.

- HOAs are a necessary evil.

The poster said her parents had owned the house for like thirty years but only joined the HOA 15 or so years previously, seems less likely that the title would be involved in some way in that case.

To the second point, what about them is necessary?

# ? Jul 30, 2017 14:20

Ride The Gravitron: May 2, 2008; by FactsAreUseless

andrew smash posted:

The poster said her parents had owned the house for like thirty years but only joined the HOA 15 or so years previously, seems less likely that the title would be involved in some way in that case.

To the second point, what about them is necessary?

It's only necessary if you're racist and looking to keep minorites out of your neighborhood

# ? Jul 30, 2017 14:22

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# ? May 28, 2024 09:06

La Brea Carpet: Nov 22, 2007; I have no mouth and I must post

How to get over shame and being humiliated?

quote:

I don't want to go in to too many details or make it too long, but I really need to ask your advice.

Let's say one is a devoted loving husband and father and son, living with wife (married 27 years), 3 daughters, and parents. Everything's going fine, but on one business trip, this man makes a mistake, gets a bit drunk, and ends up with two prostitutes.

In a few days time, he gets blackmailed by the two women, as they had copied data from his phone while he was asleep and have contact details and some other info on his contacts. They have video evidence of what happened that night, which also shows this man opening up about weird fetishes and kinks that he didn't even share with his wife.

Man ends up paying the blackmailers, but they release the video to his family and friends anyway. And now he's working through a divorce. However, the two prostitutes are now being prosecuted for blackmail (illegal in this man's jurisdiction).

His entire life is ruined, his children know, his wife, his parents, some of his friends. He's been fired.

So...how do you get over that kind of situation?

I never said this happened to me, but I would really really appreciate if you responded. How does anybody go forward from such a life-destroying episode?

# ? Jul 30, 2017 14:31

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