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May 30, 2024 05:33
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- HerStuddMuffin
- Aug 10, 2014
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YOSPOS
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My (26m) GF (24m) wants us to move back down south because she feels that NYC is too pretentious for her.
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Aug 1, 2017 08:50
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- A Wizard of Goatse
- Dec 14, 2014
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(she is straight edge except for drinking)
I had no idea "straightedge" was a red flag for death-spiral substance abuse problems before this thread
quote:Well doing drugs obviously isn't good, but i do enjoy smoking and she doesn't mind at all, she got me a pipe for my birthday last year. She just doesn't do drugs except for smoking maybe once every 1-2 months with me.
Obviously not everyone does drugs here, but its still a much much bigger thing among young people here than it was back in florida. She wants to move back to her hometown, a mostly suburban/rural religious town in northern florida, so no she is not looking for whatever we have here. A Wizard of Goatse fucked around with this message at 10:31 on Aug 1, 2017
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Aug 1, 2017 09:34
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- Zeroisanumber
- Oct 23, 2010
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Nap Ghost
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My (26m) GF (24m) wants us to move back down south because she feels that NYC is too pretentious for her.
He stays in NYC and bangs hipsters, she moves back to Florida and gets massively fat on corn sugars. Everyone's happy.
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Aug 1, 2017 10:10
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- Catalina
- May 20, 2008
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Boyfriend[31m] is making me[24f] leave the apartment on a whim so he can masturbate
quote:
Hopefully this is in the right sub, this is my first time posting to Reddit.
I am really upset because I feel like my relationship is under a lot of stress for the stupidest reason. For some background info, my boyfriend and I have been dating for 1.5 years now. We don't live together but we live relatively close to each other, although I end up spending most of my time at his place because he prefers it. A few months ago I told him about my huge (I guess fetish?) for watching men masturbate. I absolutely love it, it always gets me very excited I find it to be sooo hot. I had to tell him because he thought I was mad at him for doing it. Basically I peeped on him from time to time and I would get caught pretty much every time (bad at being sneaky?), though I never wanted to be caught because I never wanted to interrupt or to disturb him. And yeah yeah I shouldn't be creeping around on him... but it was just so hard to resist... Anyway it turned out that the whole time he thought that I was trying to "bust" him or something. Like he thought I was mad or jealous that he was jacking off, which simply isn't true. So one day he gets really pissed off and yells at me and it's this whole huge thing and he says he's ashamed of doing that and why can't he just jack off in peace and why am I so jealous and insecure, and so I'm sad and I explain why I do that and he's like omg what, he's so mad he just isn't hearing what I'm saying. He says we spend way too much time always together and he needs time for himself and I'm like okay I get it, and that's because he isn't working and I'm working minimally (2 days a week) but when school starts again, I will be very busy and will have way less time for him (it's summer). I say that I will go home and we can spend a couple days apart every week and that that is fine with me. But he insists that no, no that's not what he wants. Sometimes I'll say that I'll just go home for the night but it's always no, no don't leave I don't like to sleep without you blah blah.
We eventually get this worked out (or so I thought) and agree that I'll leave him alone in the bedroom as long as he lets me know not to disturb him and he shuts the door. He claims he's just too ashamed to tell me anything about it so we agree that he can just put a sock on the door. I had told him that I love him and only want him to feel good, and with me he is always safe and I would never shame him for anything. I said I appreciate the effort he puts into loving me and I know that sometimes he would rather get off by himself and that's fine. Also, I would really appreciate it if every once and awhile he'd do it for me/with me there.
As far as I know he's done it only once that I know of since that time with me there, where he didn't say anything or close the door or put a sock on the door but I just had a feeling that he was doing it in there and even though I reallyyy wanted to creep on him, (the door was open, this is basically torture) I didn't bother him at all! While he's still in there the doorbell rings and he washes his hands and I can't help but giggle a little. Anyways, later he said how he had a terrible time trying to masturbate because he was constantly scared I was going to barge in or something and I was like well it was hard to resist but I didn't go near the bedroom at all. Really I just didn't know what to say at the time and the conversation switched subjects.
Fast forward to recently he has asked me a few times to basically leave the apt, do something else for awhile, and then gives me a list of suggestions. And I did leave a couple times because it was during the day and I was like ok whatever I have an errand I can run but today at like 11:30 pm he says I should leave again and I am very annoyed. I don't want to leave the apt in the middle of the night. I tell him this is stupid and if I'm leaving, then I'm just going home and he's like no no don't do that just do something for like 30 minutes and come back. I'm just like no I'm not catering to your every whim and just leaving the house whenever you want for however long you want! I told him I thought we resolved this issue and he says no we haven't he's still "not comfortable with doing it with me in the house". So I'm upset and I say "So basically you don't trust me". And he says no that's not it, which is obviously a lie, because that's obviously the problem.
At this point I regret telling him about my stupid fetish and am thinking this whole thing is stupid and I don't know what to do, it's been about 2 months and I feel like we're not moving past this. I feel there's no way we could move in together with this hanging over our heads, and I was hoping to do that eventually like in another year. Should I try to have another conversation about this even though talking about this is getting really old? Should I try something else? I love him... but part of me is a real quitter and is saying I should just crumple this relationship up and start a fresh one with someone else. I feel that if he can't trust me, the relationship is basically ruined. He feels so ashamed and it's hard for me to understand, because everyone does that, it's me who feels like a freak who's being exiled by my lover, and honestly it really hurts my feelings. Any advice or similar situations would be helpful because right now I feel like there's probably no other girl in my shoes, I feel ridiculous and stupid, hence the throwaway account.
TL;DR: I thought my boyfriend and I have moved past my peeping tom/ male masturbation fetish but he still doesn't trust me and wants to kick me out for 30 min at a time whenever he feels the urge. I don't know how to move forward.
God, if only I hadn't told my boyfriend that I kept watching him masturbate without his knowledge or consent, I could be peeping on him right now! Why does he have to be such a drama queen?
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Aug 1, 2017 11:31
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- Khorne
- May 1, 2002
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Boyfriend[31m] is making me[24f] leave the apartment on a whim so he can masturbate
God, if only I hadn't told my boyfriend that I kept watching him masturbate without his knowledge or consent, I could be peeping on him right now! Why does he have to be such a drama queen?
Khorne fucked around with this message at 11:51 on Aug 1, 2017
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Aug 1, 2017 11:45
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- goethe.cx
- Apr 23, 2014
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My (26m) GF (24m) wants us to move back down south because she feels that NYC is too pretentious for her.
who gains weight living in NYC?
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Aug 1, 2017 12:44
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- Liquid Communism
- Mar 9, 2004
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коммунизм хранится в яичках
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I've worked on farms and I've caved in probably thousands of runt piglet skulls. They were all good as dead anyway and would have suffered the entire time they were dying. She probably saw the same in the dog, I would have.
Exactly. Farmers can be stone cold practical like that. i still remember my grandad going out to shoot his dog after she got hit and her spine and rear legs were crushed so she wouldn't have to suffer. I mean, there was no way a vet was coming out to the middle of nowhere at night to put down a dog who was beyond saving, so it was just the responsible thing as far as he was concerned.
Liquid Communism fucked around with this message at 13:05 on Aug 1, 2017
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Aug 1, 2017 12:47
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- WampaLord
- Jan 14, 2010
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who gains weight living in NYC?
There's food on every corner, why would you think it impossible?
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Aug 1, 2017 14:09
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- Pick
- Jul 19, 2009
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Nap Ghost
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Exactly. Farmers can be stone cold practical like that. i still remember my grandad going out to shoot his dog after she got hit and her spine and rear legs were crushed so she wouldn't have to suffer. I mean, there was no way a vet was coming out to the middle of nowhere at night to put down a dog who was beyond saving, so it was just the responsible thing as far as he was concerned.
It is like that scene in starship troopers where the guys commanding officer has his lower abdomen eaten by a bug and he is like you have to shoot me or whatever it is he says I haven't seen the movie in a long time but anyway the point is that's the merciful thing to do because nobody's coming back from having their torso eaten
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Aug 1, 2017 14:33
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- Pick
- Jul 19, 2009
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Nap Ghost
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who gains weight living in NYC?
If you pay close attention in cities, the weight demographics are often not that different. The fat people are just too ashamed to hang out where the skinny people go, they stay inside. For example, if you go to Powells bookstore in Portland, you will think that people who live in Portland are all skinny. That, of course, is not true, but fat people probably would feel particularly uncomfortable there
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Aug 1, 2017 14:35
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- Dunning Krugerrand
- Dec 23, 2015
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purestrain pyrite
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Why is your mom working instead of staying home with you? Doesn't she love you?
Me [26 F] with my daughter [4 F] , mother [30? F] at her kindergarden brainwashing her?
quote:So I don't even know what title to put to this. It is completely absurd.
I am a working mother of an adorable 4 year old girl, Katie, have a really good job which I landed straight after uni. My partner (and her father, let's call him Jay) is completing his PhD. Due to our workload our little one is going to a small kindergarden near our place.
One day my daughter came up to me for cuddles after work and asked me "Mummy when are you going to stop working?" I assumed she meant when I am taking my summer holidays off and I told her in a few months so we can visit grandma and grandpa. After further discussion I realised she meant when I am quitting my job permanently. I asked her what made her to think so, and she said because: "Mummies are for home, daddies are for work".
I was dumbfounded and asked her where she heard this. I was pretty upset as that was the opposite of what I want to teach my kid and she definitely did not hear this from my partner or myself. Visibly upset, I asked her how did this occur to her but got no answer from her.
I went the next day at school and asked the teacher whether such discussions have been made in class. She said no and I went on my way.
On the next few days my daughter became more distant and started saying that I am not a good mummy and that she doesn't like how daddy or Anna (her babysitter) pick her up from care (I am the one who drops her off) and in general complaining mostly about me having to work.
I sat her down again calmly and asked her what's going on. Those things had never been a problem before in my family and she seemed to enjoy her after school time with her dad or baby sitter. Again, she didn't say anything and just asked me when she can go play with her new friend from daycare, May.
Being at my rope's end I asked my pedopsychologist friend to sit down and have a chat with my daughter and see where the problem lies. Lo and behold, May's mum, who had been supervising their playtimes a couple of times and at who's place my daughter has been was making digs about me being a working mother.
May's mum, Jen (30? F) is a home maker while her husband works in the banking sector. She seemed quite pleasant and have been around their place a couple of times before accompanying my daughter. Due to this I trusted her to supervise my kid and have her at her place. I should mention that she has been insisting that my partner and I visit their place more often, but with a job, a PhD and a kid it's impossible.
Anyway, from what my friend told me, the drilling has been going on for couple of months and Katie told her that her mum's friend always does all those nice things and asks her if she likes that she is always home making all those nice things and making herself pretty (really?)
I cannot even believe I am typing these things. I cannot believe this is happening. I haven't confronted Jen yet but I think I should. What do I say? I don't want my daughter to lose her friend due to her crazy mum, but for know these two haven't been hanging out much outside of daycare. My daughter is still pissy and complains at her dad and Anna when they come to pick her up every single day.
tl;dr: A mother of one of my friend's daughter has been commenting about me being a working mother to my child. Kid has been influenced by all this. How do I approach her in order to make her stop?
I would stay home and love you AND YOUR DADDY TOO!
[UPDATE] Me [26 F] with my daughter [4 F] , mother [30? F] at her kindergarden brainwashing her?
quote:I posted a few weeks ago about a mother in my daughter's kindergarden that made comments about stay at home mums being better than working mums. Nothing could prepare me for what followed.
Warning: Very long post ahead. I needed to vent.
One thing I'd like to clarify from all the comments I received was that I am not an absentee from my daughter's life, despite being a working mother. I am as involved as it gets. Katie has spent as many times at Jen's as many May has spent at ours. I've been playing with the girls quite often when they are about and took them to the park, museums etc. But this isn't the point.
On the Katie frontier, our relationship has made a full recovery and we are a strong unit again. I am so, so happy to have my daughter back and we enjoy our moments together. She has even been asking to come to the office again and take her to my next outreach event.
So the day after I made this post, Jay goes to pick Katie from kindergarden and our favourite mum is there. She asks whether Katie wants to come over to play and her and my partner can grab a coffee in the meantime. Jay declines but she insists. Finally the girls come out. Then Jen asks the girls whether they want to go play. Both of the little ones agree enthusiastically. Jay has to be the bad cop and say another time because of other plans (he said he thought of letting Jen why, but he's very non confrontational).
Couple of days go by and Anna has been doing the kindergarden run, due to Jay running experiments late. Jen asks again for a playdate and Anna knows to say no. Weekend comes, and Jay gets a text from Jen asking if he is busy and maybe he could bring Katie over. Jay replied that we want some time with our daughter for the weekend as a family. No reply.
In the meantime, Katie had another session with my psychology friend. One of the things that got out is that Jen asks a lot about daddy.
I took the next few days off as Jay was working from home and I decided it would be nice to spend some extra time as a family. Hence duty of picking Katie up becomes mine. Jen is there and I try to start some sort of conversation by politely saying hi. She just briefly turns at me, replies with 'hi' and turns her head again. That's completely uncharacteristic of her but I suspect she realises that we are avoiding any further playdates. I thought of asking if May could come over, but her cold manner discouraged me completely. She says bye bye to Katie when we are leaving. Okaaaay...
A few days after I'm back from work, Katie comes back with 2 cupcakes. 2. "One for me, one for daddy" she explains. Anna said that Jen gave them to her at pick up time and explained who gets what. No cupcake for me. I start joining the dots at that point. We discussed with Jay her odd behaviour and we thought that the best idea was to ignore her, not even thank for the cupcakes and have Anna pick Katie from school (Jay is getting his final results for a publication so he cannot do it from now on anyway).
So Jen keeps texting and even calling Jay (never me, I'm an invisible working mother). Jay stops replying and picking up until 2 days ago he did. He asked Jen what's the matter with the calls and texts. Jen starts with "oh you know, May is missing her friend and has been pestering me the whole time. Only children need their friends blah blah blah".
Then my dear partner decides he's had enough. And he has a go at her. Properly. He starts off with how we don't appreciate her comments aimed towards me being a working mother and that singling me out on various occasions is not okay. At all.
And then it started (after a while Jay put her on loudspeaker so I could hear the spectacle). Jen starts saying how unfair it is for him that his woman cannot take care of him and how she's trying to be sympathetic of him being stuck with a 'career bitch' who only cares about her job and not her man and child.
Jay is flabbergasted but he manages to reply that that is not the case and he is happy with all this and he needs no sympathy. Thanks, but no thanks. He prefers other people to stay out of our business.
Then she goes on about how our daughter is starved of motherly love and how she can see it in her eyes and that she is trying to be a mother figure for her. Jay again replies that he does not understand her motivation behind this and that what she is talking about is completely unfounded. By that point she's on loudspeaker but didn't realise.
She went on a tirade about how she and Jay would be 'perfect' and understand each other. They have both been neglected by their career starving spouses and that she can tell from the way he looks at him that he wants her too. She spent the next few minutes going on about all the signals were there and how Katie and May are practically like sisters already and that she knew they could make it all together and be happy.
Jay and I were just looking at each other. I suspected that Jen had a crush on him after the cupcakes incident but that was too much.
Jay finally spoke up and said that she was being absurd and that he would prefer that she stays away from our daughter and our family in general. I took my turn saying that I heard most of the conversation and I wanted her to delete our numbers and never bother us again. She said that Jay has been lying all this time to me and they have been sleeping together. Alright. She then hang up.
That was some crazy poo poo that we never saw coming. We both blocked her mobile and home number and decided to pull Katie from the kindergarden. She will be temporarily attending the daycare program at Jay's university. Our phones have been receiving some anonymous calls and texts from another number. We are unsure how to proceed on that.
Anyway, that was some Fatal Attraction poo poo right here. I hope that this all is behind us.
tl;dr: Crazy lady is in love with my partner. Epic phone showdown ensues. Life goes on.
Better hide your bunny rabbits.
[FINAL UPDATE] Me [26 F] with my daughter [4 F] , mother [30? F] at her kindergarden brainwashing her?
quote:I posted these a few months ago and given it all generated some interest I decided to post the conclusion.
In the end things kind of solved themselves. After all the advice you guys gave me I decided to speak with May's dad and tell him what happened before ordering a restraining order on Jen (we needed to look into that as well as we are not US residents).
The harassment continued for a couple of days and it prompted me to write him an email (his work email was the only contact detail I had). Turns out I didn't have to. 3 days after my post May and her dad appeared on our doorstep.
He was apologising profusely before we said anything, we just sort of stood there. He appeared calm and composed but you could tell he was quite distraught. Apparently he knew that something was off for a while and she has been mentioning Jay as an example father for a while. Lately he noticed Jen getting out of bed in the middle of the night with her phone (she was indeed calling in the night sometimes) and being irritable in general. At first he suspected an affair between her and Jay and decided he should contact me. He snooped her phone, laptop and found a second phone he didn't know about and started looking into things. When he saw all those messages he decided to confront her and all hell broke loose.
They had a scream match where Jen was verbally attacking him with May present (poor kid). She was also talking poo poo about me, about how awesome Jay would be, the whole shebang. At the end she tried to physically assault him (IN FRONT OF THEIR KID!) and that's when he grabbed May and left. He asked her to leave in 3 hours or else he'd call the cops on her.
He then mentioned that Jen and himself had marital problems for a while. She was supposed to be a SAHM in order to raise their daughter, take care of their (amazing) place and potentially expand their family. He comes from old money (he didn't say it that way) and he was happy that he found a woman to share his values with. Instead he had to pay people to do most of the things around the house, have May in the kindergarten while Jen focused on her image. Expanding their family became soon out of question and she has been quite resentful and neurotic for a while.
We laid out the timeline of events and he took it calmly. He made sure no one was hurt and that Jen hadn't been around our place (she somehow hadn't) and asked whether we want to press charges. We mentioned the restraining order and he said that it would be actually beneficial for everyone involved. He was very apologetic about us having to pull Katie out of the kindergarten and all the harassment we sustained. He seemed to have learnt his lesson about being so absent from home.
I forgot to mention that while he was at ours Jay's phone BLEW UP with texts and calls from a random number. The messages ranged from how Jay had ruined her life to how her heartless husband left her and took their kid and she needs support and somewhere to stay (what the actual hell).
We set the motions for the restraining order the next day and she stopped initiating any sort of contact. After a while her (now ex) husband called us to thank us for everything and give us a small update: The fact that Jen got a restraining order (on top of him having access to top lawyers and the whole assault incident, I assume) has granted him temporary custody of their daughter and he hopes to make it permanent. He intends to move to a country home near his parents where May is for now. From what I have seen from him, I bet she will soon be educated to some of the best boarding schools around.
As for Jen it seems she won't get much custody of their daughter in the end. He didn't mention much about her and I didn't wanna hear about her either.
My family is doing well, we have left all those things behind us. But I am willing to leave a door open for May and her father and my partner is happy with that as well. We also have a new puppy.
Anyway, thank you for all the advice again /r/relationships !
EDIT: There is popular demand to see pictures of the puppy. I am getting quite paranoid, so I'd rather send the picture via PM to those who've asked, rather than post it here.
tl;dr: Her husband found out, left her, we got a restraining order and live happily ever after.
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Aug 1, 2017 14:39
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- VanSandman
- Feb 16, 2011
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SWAP.AVI EXCHANGER
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That was a loving roller coaster! I loved it!
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Aug 1, 2017 14:46
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- Ghost Leviathan
- Mar 2, 2017
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Exploration is ill-advised.
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Goddamn, she had the trophy wife lifestyle locked down and couldn't handle it seeing someone who had to work for a living. Crazy is as crazy does.
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Aug 1, 2017 15:35
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- christmas boots
- Oct 15, 2012
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To these sing-alongs 🎤of siren 🧜🏻♀️songs
To oohs😮 to ahhs😱 to 👏big👏applause👏
With all of my 😡anger I scream🤬 and shout📢
🇺🇸America🦅, I love you 🥰but you're freaking 💦me 😳out
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Biscuit Hider
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Romeo and Juliet laws and my own juvenile stupidity.
quote:
I (m18) had consensual sexual relations with my (f16) significant other in the state of Oklahoma.
My problem is... I did it in a not so legal place (elementary school parking lot during the summer) and we got the police called on us.
For the record and before any of you call me a Dumb-rear end I understand how loving stupid I am, and I understand that it was incredibly cliche teenager thing to do.
When the police arrived I was giving oral to my SO, and they caught me mid-lick, so there is absolutely no deniability. The police practically scolded us, told us to be more sensible, and to be careful. I didn't get arrested nor did she. The only thing that had happened is that her father was called, and I was advised by the officer to leave the scene before the father showed up to prevent any further conflict. I didn't mention this to my parents, but her father contacted them and my mother told me he might be pressing charges.
My question is, given that we are both legally able to consent, can he press charges for statutory rape still, and/or for public indecency even if the peace officers at the scene didn't arrest me.
Thanks for listening to my dumb decisions!
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Aug 1, 2017 15:41
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- Pvt.Scott
- Feb 16, 2007
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What God wants, God gets, God help us all
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If the father has a heart, he won't press charges. Who knows how long it would take his daughter to find another teenage boy willing to go down on her? Er, I meant to say, BURN THE PEDOPHILE!
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Aug 1, 2017 15:58
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- Thumbtacks
- Apr 3, 2013
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quote:they caught me mid-lick
Nice
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Aug 1, 2017 15:59
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- Thumbtacks
- Apr 3, 2013
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He can't press charges anyway, age of consent in OK is 16.
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Aug 1, 2017 15:59
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- Liquid Communism
- Mar 9, 2004
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коммунизм хранится в яичках
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If the father has a heart, he won't press charges. Who knows how long it would take his daughter to find another teenage boy willing to go down on her? Er, I meant to say, BURN THE PEDOPHILE!
You're kidding, right?
He's 100% going to be convinced that his little darling was pressured into it, and that he needs to be the stern parent and browbeat her into pressing charges on this obvious rapist.
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Aug 1, 2017 16:03
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- Pvt.Scott
- Feb 16, 2007
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What God wants, God gets, God help us all
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You're kidding, right?
He's 100% going to be convinced that his little darling was pressured into it, and that he needs to be the stern parent and browbeat her into pressing charges on this obvious rapist.
I would be a terrible parent, but that's evident from my posting.
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Aug 1, 2017 16:10
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- burial
- Sep 13, 2002
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actually, that won't be necessary.
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Two little girls, minimum.
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Aug 1, 2017 16:50
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- A Wizard of Goatse
- Dec 14, 2014
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If the father has a heart, he won't press charges. Who knows how long it would take his daughter to find another teenage boy willing to go down on her? Er, I meant to say, BURN THE PEDOPHILE!
If the cops were interested in arresting him they would have done it then and there, unless it winds up dad's the DA's brothercousin or something there's not much further he's got to say about it.
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Aug 1, 2017 17:13
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- Pick
- Jul 19, 2009
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Nap Ghost
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Why is your mom working instead of staying home with you? Doesn't she love you?
Me [26 F] with my daughter [4 F] , mother [30? F] at her kindergarden brainwashing her?
I would stay home and love you AND YOUR DADDY TOO!
[UPDATE] Me [26 F] with my daughter [4 F] , mother [30? F] at her kindergarden brainwashing her?
Better hide your bunny rabbits.
[FINAL UPDATE] Me [26 F] with my daughter [4 F] , mother [30? F] at her kindergarden brainwashing her?
This actually plays out pretty often but it's nice de to see someone write it down. Rich lonely women are in a crazy class of their own.
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Aug 1, 2017 17:26
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- Pick
- Jul 19, 2009
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Nap Ghost
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Goddamn, she had the trophy wife lifestyle locked down and couldn't handle it seeing someone who had to work for a living. Crazy is as crazy does.
Being a trophy wife IS a job, and it's an awful. That's why a lot more of them get addicted to alcohol or painkillers. It's soul-crushing and identity destroying. The belief among men that it's a "good gig" with nothing to complain about is a considerable factor.
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Aug 1, 2017 17:31
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- Adbot
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ADBOT LOVES YOU
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May 30, 2024 05:33
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- A Wizard of Goatse
- Dec 14, 2014
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Being a trophy wife IS a job, and it's an awful. That's why a lot more of them get addicted to alcohol or painkillers. It's soul-crushing and identity destroying. The belief among men that it's a "good gig" with nothing to complain about is a considerable factor.
the exact same behavior pattern seen in countless completely unaffiliated slobs who lie around the house all day, because it turns out that the people who wind up gravitating towards doing nothing all day aren't even interesting to themselves
A Wizard of Goatse fucked around with this message at 17:40 on Aug 1, 2017
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Aug 1, 2017 17:38
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Aug 1, 2017 07:39
from her, she's clearly insane.
about being a stay at home mom, she wouldn't need to criticize the Redditor for being a working mom, because she'd be confident she made the best choice for herself/family. But she's obviously not confident, because she's turning a personal choice into a loving Lifetime Movie and dragging the poor little girl in the middle of it.
