blarzgh posted:

Exaclty. Someone is always on the hook for supporting the child - if Cuck Dad wants out of paying support, the onus is on him to prove he isn't bio dad.

ArbitraryC posted:

I was under the impression that even if he could do that he would still be on the hook because it's what's best for the child.

I wonder if there's ever been a case where like the cuckee raises some other dude's kid for a couple years, the cucker comes back into the kids life, the wife divorces the non biodad and marries the biodad, and nonbio dad spends the next 15 years paying child support cause his name was on the birth certificate.

It would be like a whole nother level of owned.

ArbitraryC posted:

I was under the impression that even if he could do that he would still be on the hook because it's what's best for the child.

ArbitraryC posted:

I wonder if there's ever been a case where like the cuckee raises some other dude's kid for a couple years, the cucker comes back into the kids life, the wife divorces the non biodad and marries the biodad, and nonbio dad spends the next 15 years paying child support cause his name was on the birth certificate.

It would be like a whole nother level of owned.

ArbitraryC posted:

I wonder if there's ever been a case where like the cuckee raises some other dude's kid for a couple years, the cucker comes back into the kids life, the wife divorces the non biodad and marries the biodad, and nonbio dad spends the next 15 years paying child support cause his name was on the birth certificate.

Pac-Manioc Root posted:

The family court judge reaches under the bench for his flask, emptying it in one pull.

quote:

I've been in a really sweet relationship for about 2 years. She's popular, pretty, and intelligent, with a combination of traits I never imagined possible in a non-fictional person. They say opposites attract; but she's almost my mirror image, and it almost seemed like the perfect relationship because we understood each other immediately. Our interests shared many commonalities. It was magical, since we pretty much went from "Hey, I've seen your face before" to spending nights together in a matter of days.

Something happened to her recently, nothing serious, and I've started to think. How do I put words to this feeling I have now? It's kinda hard to say it concretely, but part of me still wants to try, so here goes....

What if your gf got into an accident? Say, the accident cost her the use of her limbs? She wouldn't be able to leave the house on her own or enjoy any hobbies like gardening or sky diving. You'd come home, cook meals for her, and tell her about the things you've seen during the day. Eventually her interest in a world she can't interact with would wane. She wouldn't be able to bring an income into the relationship, though of course love conquers all. And her smile will always be ever so lovely.

Would you stay with her?

Or take it one step further. Say the accident left her bedridden in a coma with no prognosis for recovery. She'd live in the hospital, far from your home. Studying and employment will cease entirely. You could whisper sweet nothings in her ear; she wouldn't smile, wouldn't tell you she loves you. Nothing you do will ever help her condition.

Would you stay with her?

My answer so far would very definitely be a "yes". Call me a romantic. I feel that devotion is about more than just what you feel from day to day, that when I say "I'll be with you forever", I really mean it.

Let's explore one last possibility. What if she was addicted to an mmo at the comatose level? Every waking moment, she's grinding away. She's among the best of the game, achieving server firsts and experiencing new content faster than it comes out. But. Grades are inevitably suffering. Interest in employment or (other) hobbies just isn't there. She never calls, she never writes. She probably wouldn't even smile if I caressed her cheek, whispering "I love you"; I don't know, I've not been afforded the chance ever since she started playing.

Would you stay with her?

Whelp. That's the case. She's been essentially silent for a year now, never responds to my requests to spend time together. She won't even spend time with me in the mmo itself; a game I'm only mildly interested in (yet pretty decent with imho), which I only played for the chance to spend any time with her at all. Call me heartless, but I'm starting to wonder if it's time to move on. She once called me "perfect for her"; does that include my patience with her gaming habits? Does she want me only because I won't chew her out for spending her entire life on a game? Am I being walked all over?

Maybe I'm the perfect one for her, but it's seeming less and less like she's the perfect one for me.

tl;dr: MMOs are ruining my life by taking over hers. Am I in the wrong relationship? ;_;

quote:

[–][deleted] 4 points 2 years ago

Do you even see this woman face to face like in person?

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[–]WistfulHope [S] 0 points 2 years ago

We definitely did, at least 30 days total spread out over the years. We're both busy, we're not in the same courses/jobs, and I didn't have my own place at the time, so I knew from the start that it'd be difficult to spend time together. But she's definitely a she, if that was in question.

CaptainScraps posted:

The worst in this thread barely touches on what I do for a living.

SirSamVimes posted:

Haifisch posted:

Boy [29M] meets girl [21F], who (due to circumstances) can't seem to leave the house anymore [because of MMOs]

CaptainScraps posted:

The worst in this thread barely touches on what I do for a living.

Haifisch posted:

Boy [29M] meets girl [21F], who (due to circumstances) can't seem to leave the house anymore [because of MMOs]

blarzgh posted:

He ain't kidding, either.

quote:

I recently convinced my best friend to play Overwatch as a means to get him to play something other than Call of Duty and have a n excuse for us to chat since he no longer lives in the same state.

So we were playing when I decided to tell him about the new summer games skins. He starts browsing and commenting on the characters. My girlfriend is on the couch next to me while we chat and overhears him say, "drat WidowMaker Thicccc".
I laugh and say, "Have you played with her? They even make her character walk sexy." We both laugh and play a few rounds. I teasingly tell my girlfriend that she doesn't need to get jealous. (She does get jealous IRL but I figure video game characters are not a threat.)

2 days go by and I talk to my girlfriend about an idea I had for a YouTube video spurred by what just happened, where we talk about jealousy and video games, i.e. One where we talk about how she gets jealous over video games. She states her reasons, I state mine, we laugh about it and don't take it seriously.

She looks at me and is visibly pissed. I ask what's up and she's lays into me for an hour about how sexist I was being and how I'm objectifying women by talking about Widowmaker like that.

I point out that she's not a real person annnnd it was joke. She doesn't care and told me not to touch her the rest of the night. We go to bed and are currently still in a fight. She also doubles down that she's hurt that I wanted to make a video making fun of her.

I tell her that I wasn't trying to make fun of her. I didn't think she'd actually take the topic seriously and thought it'd be fun to have a light hearted debate over something stupid. This doesn't change anything and she remains angry and we are currently now in a fight and am not sure where to go next. It feels silly to me. I've never been even remotely sexist and it feels like she's taking one joke and video idea way too far.

TL;DR: Played Overwatch and my friend called Widowmaker Thicc. I laugh and make a follow up joke, now my girlfriend thinks I'm suddenly sexist and we are in a fight. I think she's being completely ridiculous and am not sure if I need to stand my ground or not.

Danaru posted:

My [32 M] girlfriend [32 F] of 2 years, is mad at me because I jokingly called a video game character sexy


Went into this expecting lol insecurity, but holy poo poo what a patronizing rear end in a top hat. "Hey honey let's do a youtube series about what a shrill insecure harpy you are haha! Wait why are you angry?"

quote:

"drat WidowMaker Thicccc".

But Rocks Hurt Head posted:

drat WidowMaker Thicccc

Pac-Manioc Root posted:

LOL what lovely opinions. Windowmaker is such a lovely choice of polygons to leer at everybody knows Mei is Bey.

Outrail posted:

Silencio! The faceless robot centaur is a feminine exemplar.

victimofcyberstalker posted:

August 2007, I'd just graduated high school and was going to a university on scholarship. This is when I met Individual X, who at the time, was just a social acquaintance who I'd met while attending the university. I befriended him at this time.

Fast forward to 2009, Individual X and I are friends, and we're moving into an apartment together, the two of us and my then-girlfriend.

8 months later, I kicked Individual X out of my apartment for general bad roommate behavior (mess making, etc, you've all been there). Individual X moved in with a couple other buddies of mine at a house they had and last I'd heard was kicked out of there too.

That sums up my relationship with Individual X as far as I'm aware. What follows is what was going on behind my back, as I've been learning through various channels.

Some time in 2009, Individual X got into my laptop. He installed a creepy webcam virus on it that allowed him access to the webcam at his will, and could see what was on my screen with some remote viewing software. I was completely unaware at the time. Individual X then proceeded to capture private images not only of my genital region, but that of my girlfriend's as well as we engaged in consensual relations in what we thought was the privacy of our own bedroom at our own apartment. Individual X disseminated these images and videos through various online channels and amongst his/our social groups.

I had known for quite a while that Individual X was going behind my back amongst *my* social group and doing who knows what. At the time, I didn't care, but it was part of my motivation for kicking him out of my apartment. He could have been spreading rumors about me and I never would have known but I figured myself to "be the better man" and I just ignored him and "cut the problem loose" so to say.

It was around this time that something unthinkable happened. Individual X accused me of raping/taking advantage of my girlfriend. Lies that she, to this day, is quick to dismess, but lies that have permanently damaged my reputation.

Now this was all happening behind my back, and I had no way of knowing, but is all activity that Individual X will admit to and even brag about, going as far as to call himself "A Genius" for hacking my laptop (an easy task considering that I'd ignorantly set it up without a firewall or any other protection).

Dealing with Individual X heaped infinite amounts of stress onto me, which is why I chose to cut ties with him completely, but I still saw him occasionally at the new house he was living at. It was there, one night, while we were all hanging out, that Individual X admitted to going behind my back, nothing else, and "conspiring [sic]" against me. Which was when I first felt threatened by Individual X.

Moving on to us physically, we're completely different people. I am a 6'2" 250lb powerlifter with 2 black belts and a concealed handgun license (something important which I will get into later), and Individual X is about 5'9" 200lbs and very nerdy. Individual X simply could never physically intimidate me.

More about myself, I'm an outgoing individual with a lot of friends and social acquaintances. I've been working since I was twelve and paying taxes since I was fifteen. I was attending university on scholarship and had a good reputation for being an attractive, sociable individual. I was a good guy, basically. I'd had multiple girlfriends, took the hottest girl to prom, and had no problems at all when it came to my sex life (this is all important as I will later discuss).

Here's a few tidbits of information about Individual X, all learned either directly from his own mouth or through my own personal experience in being his friend for 2 years and living with him for 8 months. He's 5'9”, he's Manic-Depressive Bipolar (among other things), he's a sleepwalker, he once overdosed on his prescription medication, blacked out, crashed his car and woke up in a mental institution, he loves prescription amphetamines (had a prescription for Vyvanse) - which he claims have given him heart palpitations, Accutane and prescription antibiotics, and I quote verbatim, "messes with my [his] hormones," he is a messy individual (his room at my apartment was always messy and filled with garbage), and he lacks empathic ability. Among other things.

Here is an incomplete list of rumors/mistruths/straight-up-lies that Individual X was spreading behind my back. That I was raping my girlfriend, that I cheated on my girlfriend, that I was a pedophile, that I was a child-molester, that I lie to women (for sex), that I'm gay/homosexual, that I'm transgendered, that I'm creepy, that I smell bad, that I have bad breath, that I have disgusting, acne-ridden skin (on the contrary my skin is clear and blemish free - always has been), that I'm short and small (not 6'2" and 250lbs), that I'm a weakling, that I'm a stalker, that I'm a cyberstalker, that I have a pencil-neck (I have a thick neck), that I "Project" when describing individuals other than myself (read: psychological projection), that I'm a retard (going to uni on scholarship, Honors college, etc), that I'm a bad driver, that I creep women out, that I have schizophrenia, that I have a congenital heart defect, that I masturbate too much (not kidding, I'll explain later) and that my "biceps are puny and asymmetrical," that my "legs are spindly," that I'm a pussy, that I'm a coward, that I have poor impulse control, that I am "A skin-picker" (dermatillomania), that I have bad teeth, that I eat the skin off of my lips, that I gave him cancer, that my farts "Stink up the place," that I've never written a computer program before (as an insult to my intelligence), that I tiny penis, that I type slowly (120+ wpm in elementary school), that he got a restraining order agaisnt me, the list goes on and on. He also accuses me of cheating at Counter-Strike (a video game) - He accuses me of "being a Gay human being Retard Hacker" and "sucking eggs." Ironic because I have beaten him and his cousin at Counter-Strike, and I played competitively when I was in high school.

While spreading all of that disinformation about me, Individual X is also lying about himself. I've learned, through various channels, that Individual X claims to be taller than me, bigger than me, stronger than me, that he beat me up, that he beat me at Counter-Strike, and that he "smells better than me," among other things such as, and I swear this is true, that he is a Cop.

Need I mention that it was around the time that I started learning these things, that I bought my first gun and enrolled in the first CHL (concealed handgun license) class I could find. Passed my background check, got my permit, and thought I'd live happily ever after knowing if him or someone else ever came at me I'd be more than able to defend myself physically.

Moving on, about a year ago I'd considered getting a restraining order against him - this is after I started learning about all of the things that he had done behind my back. Well, word got out amongst my friends that I was seeking a restraining order against him, and last I'd heard he was actually trying to get a restraining order against me, using the fact that I almost beat him up as justification. I hope to God that the (actual) cops don't take him seriously, especially considering that they don't know my side of the story. To this day I have not actually filled out any paperwork for a restraining order because I've been too busy with my home life, something Individual X also impacted - he ruined my relationship with my family, to do anything.

The stress has been unimaginable. I have yet to finish my degree (I was getting a degree in business management and entrepreneurship), I can't get a job, I don't have any friends anymore, and my sex life is nonexistant.

I have no idea what to do. I'm not sure if I can still press charges for the computer hacking as that occured way back in 2009 and there's probably a statute of limitations on that sort of thing. But surely I can do something about the slander by Individual X and the false police report filed by my neighbor.

victimofcyberstalker posted:

I'm not sure what you mean by personal attacks? The fact that I'm taller than him is relevant when you know the story - a person is going around claiming to be taller than me while claiming that I am short and this has caused damage to me.
edit- the black belt thing was just to let the guy know that I'm safe and am not in any physical danger as far as I am aware.

victimofcyberstalker posted:

If a man is going around claiming to have beaten you up, after accusing you of raping your girlfriend and being a pedophile... and then this man claims to be taller than you, which nets him positive social attractiveness and prevents you from getting a job, going to school, having a social life, having a home life, etc, wouldn't you find that relevant?
edit- and the individual is trying to get a job at my local police department.

victimofcyberstalker posted:

When people are going around my back calling me short when I'm taller than them? Or when I had a reputation built around being tall? It's as much a facet of personality as being part of your persona or reputation, and it's something that I've had to build my good reputation around being. What if someone called you a pedophile or a rapist? Now what if someone called you a short pedophile/rapist? It's just a detail that I included in the story because it's somewhat relevant. It's not trivial or insignificant and I don't understand why you're making such a big deal about it.

victimofcyberstalker posted:

It's caused me unimaginable stress because (I live in a small town) my whole town thinks some guy whose drivers license says 5'9" beat me up/etc as Individual X is claiming to have done to me. And now I can't get a job, finish my degree, etc.

quote:

(I have a thick neck),

quote:

Rights to non-biological children in a polyamorous relationship

COMRADES posted:

/r/relationships: a person is going around claiming to be taller than me while claiming that I am short and this has caused damage to me


maybe too long?

Haifisch posted:

Boy [29M] meets girl [21F], who (due to circumstances) can't seem to leave the house anymore [because of MMOs]

Commenter posted:

When is the last time you've actually seen or spoken using your voices?

OP posted:

Sadly, I think it has been over a year for either of those.

quote:

u/ta97444
My FIL's dad is a very strict man. For example, I wasn't even able to visit their home until we got married because his dad thought it was inappropriate. I have 4 tattoos, including one very big beautiful one on my thigh. He gets offended and won't let me come into his house without my tattoos covered. I do it just to keep the peace...

So anyway, we are going on vacation together. There will be a lot of swimming. WTF am I supposed to do? Wear a wetsuit? How do I deal with this man?

tl;dr: husband's parents hate my tattoos and don't let me show them but we are going on vacation soon

Milotic posted:

I think tattoos are dumb but why would you spend time with this man regardless?

My [23F] FIL [65M] has a huge issue with my tattoos and makes me cover them up when he's around. We're going on vacation.

quote:

My FIL's dad is a very strict man.

A Wizard of Goatse posted:

relationships/legaladvice crossover episode

Rights to non-biological children in a polyamorous relationship

blarzgh posted:

Disclaimer: Not a Family Lawyer.

Parental Rights/Responsibilities arise automatically upon parentage, which is biologically the mother and father. Of course, the Mother's parentage is obvious, but the father's parentage is presumed from his signature on the birth certificate. You can go get child support from Bio-Cuck-Dad without terminating I-Got-cucked Dad's parental rights, if it turns out signature dad is not bio-dad.

The only way I can think of to give a non-biological, third party parental rights would be via a consensual adoption, but only in states that allow it.

Edit: allow 3+ parent adoption.

Milotic posted:

I think tattoos are dumb but why would you spend time with this man regardless?

My [23F] FIL [65M] has a huge issue with my tattoos and makes me cover them up when he's around. We're going on vacation.

ArbitraryC posted:

I was under the impression that even if he could do that he would still be on the hook because it's what's best for the child.

I wonder if there's ever been a case where like the cuckee raises some other dude's kid for a couple years, the cucker comes back into the kids life, the wife divorces the non biodad and marries the biodad, and nonbio dad spends the next 15 years paying child support cause his name was on the birth certificate.

It would be like a whole nother level of owned.

Jeffrey of YOSPOS posted:

I like "/r/relationships: (I have a thick neck)" personally.

But Rocks Hurt Head posted:

Honestly, every single line of that has a good title in it

that bolded part might be the funniest quote in this thread since the guy who moaned in front of his wife about big titties

e: lmao "that I tiny penis, that I type slowly (120+ wpm in elementary school),"

new phone who dis posted:

I wonder if the FIL who hates tattoos is Japanese. I have never met people who look down on tattoos so much as the Japanese friends of my buddy's wife.

TERRIBLE SHITLORD posted:

bursts into room

It is I, tiny penis.

A Wizard of Goatse posted:

relationships/legaladvice crossover episode
Who does the state consider the "father" in this situation?

quote:

My boyfriend, Steve, and I tend to have a few disagreements (though not arguments) about how to spend money.

He's approaching 30, and is very proud of his financial track record, how much money he saves, and his road to financial independence. I'm proud of him for these things, too! However, it can be a little frustrating when I want to do things that cost money (like nice dates or travel), and he doesn't because he'd rather save his money.

I totally understand that. People have different priorities and I, being in my early 20s, may just not have reached that mindset yet. When we met last August, one of the first big things we discussed doing as a couple was a trip to Iceland that November. It didn't work out; we both agreed it was too expensive at the time.

Months later, I got into an early-20s quarter-life-crisis, thinking about how I work a 9-5 every day and may never have the opportunity to see the world like I want. After sitting on this for several more months, I told Steve that I really wanted to take an international trip, either to Iceland or France (or elsewhere!). We explored the idea, but ultimately, Boyfriend decided he would be more comfortable saving his money. I understood.

I ended up organizing an Iceland trip with one of my best friends for next February, instead. That way, I could still live my dreams, but be respectful of Steve's wishes. I updated Steve throughout the planning process; and informed him yesterday that we bought our (non-refundable) plane tickets.

Today, Steve broke the news to me that over the past week, he's been thinking about taking a trip to Iceland in November with his best friend, Kevin, and Kevin's wife. He is heavily leaning towards going.

I paused, and then calmly told him that it upsets me he wouldn't want to go with me, half a year from now, because it was "too expensive", but he'll go with his friends 3 months from now when it's even pricier. I told him that it felt like he was prioritizing his friends over me. He replied that he "knew I would respond like that" and expressed disappointment that I wouldn't be happy for him.

We sat down to talk about it further, and he explained that he's wanted to take a trip with Kevin for a long time, and that Kevin and his wife are both Icelandic in heritage so it's very special they want to include him on their trip (it seems like Kevin and wife already were planning the trip, and recently invited Steve along.) Steve said he's been feeling in a rut lately, since he hasn't been able to see his friends as often as an adult (and to a larger extent, travel likes he wants)

I told Steve that at the end of the day, I'll support him no matter what. If he wants to go on the trip, he should go; it does sound like a unique opportunity and he should live the opportunity with his friends. I said that while I am happy and excited for his opportunity, I am still sad that I feel like he picked them over me.

He said that my negative feelings were "invalid and wrong" and that I had "already ruined his trip" by him knowing that I would be sad the whole time he was on it. He also told me that he would be highly resentful of me if he ended up not going (I told him to go!), but that he didn't even "want to go" now because me feeling sad was an emotionally manipulative way to get him to stay.

I am allowed to have conflicting feelings. I'm allowed to be happy/excited for his trip while sad that a trip with me wasn't worth his time and attention. But Steve is acting like by having "invalid and wrong" negative emotions, I've already ruined the experience.

How should I continue to approach this? What would you do?

EDIT: I just asked, and I am not invited on the Iceland/Norway trip in November. It is a trip organized by K and his wife. Steve is Kevin's guest, and evidently, some girl who was a bridesmaid in their wedding is the other. This gives me pause, especially because it didn't come up until I flat out asked if I'm invited.

tl;dr: Boyfriend and I planned a trip to Iceland, but couldn't follow through because he said it cost too much money. He now wants to go on the same trip with his friends instead, and is mad that i'm upset about it and "ruining" the trip. Wat do?

quote:

I fully agree. I reinforced all those points when we spoke, mostly along the lines of "I'm sorry if my reaction wasn't what you hoped, but I will never apologize for my feelings."

This also isn't the first time I've felt that "money" has been a sort of convenient excuse not to do something with me that he did with others. One of the reasons he's so hard for finance now is because he used to spend lavishly on a former girlfriend (dates every night, putting his card on her Uber, possibly yacht trips or something? idk). Obviously, I would NEVER want/expect/ask him to spend that kind of money on me - I'd rather have a financially stable long term partner. But sometimes it does make me feel badly that he would buy her roses and take her on lavish dates when he's "too broke" to go out to dinner with me so we stay in, make a pizza, and watch Netflix (every drat weekend.)

This Iceland trip with Kevin has brought up a lot of those feelings again. It feels like the common denominator is me. Why are experiences with Ex GF and Kevin worth spending money on, but not ones with me?