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End of 2031-32 Season Update NHL Awards Stanley Cup Champions Los Angeles Kings Presidents Trophy (Best Regular Season Record) Tampa Bay Lightning Art Ross Trophy (Most Points) Quayden Aydin -- Boston Bruins Hart Memorial Trophy (League MVP) Quayden Aydin -- Boston Bruins James Norris Memorial Trophy (Best Defenseman) Bavel Bortnik -- San Jose Sharks Lady Byng Memorial Trophy (Best Sportsmanship & Gentlemanly Conduct) Quayden Aydin -- Boston Bruins Calder Memorial Trophy (Rookie of the Year) C. Lashoff -- Tampa Bay Lightning Conn Smythe Trophy (Playoff MVP) H. Klotz -- Los Angeles Kings Vezina Trophy (Best Goaltender) H. Klotz -- Los Angeles Kings William M. Jennings Trophy (Goalie(s) on team with fewest Goals Against) H. Klotz -- Los Angeles Kings Bill Masterton Memorial Trophy (Perserverence, Sportsmanship & Dedication to hockey) Jacob Chychrun -- Arizona Coyotes Frank J. Selke Trophy (Best Defensive Forward) Auston Matthews -- Toronto Maple Leafs Ted Lindsay Award (League MVP as voted by NHLPA) Quayden Aydin -- Boston Bruins Maurice "Rocket" Richard Trophy (Most Goals) Touchdown Thomas -- New York Islanders Upcoming Free Agents ANA -- Nippon Ichi CGY -- Gord Murphy COL -- Aunt Jemima FLA -- Bernie Sanders LA -- Aldrig Glomma LA -- Coach Hockles MIN -- Kaido Hoovelson MTL -- Stanley Matthews III PHI -- Bubba Biscuits SJ -- Cruz McBroozer WSH -- Jack Bauer Jeremiah ThinkTank Guy Fieri Taro Tsujimoto Scott Johns Miracle Johnson Comments The Kings win back-to-back Cups, and get Glomma his first Aydin gets back on track and wins a ton more awards http://tinyurl.com/NHL-Create-A-Goon-2017 for complete stats
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Aug 12, 2017 06:29
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Floaty McPylon, 3 time Stanley Cup champion.  Thank god the Kings drafted an amazing goalie and have started acquiring some goon players too.
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Aug 12, 2017 07:08
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why can't the islanders just win for fucks sake
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Aug 12, 2017 14:17
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Turdsdown Tom posted:why can't the islanders just win for fucks sake Lol
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Aug 12, 2017 14:39
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Turdsdown Tom posted:why can't the islanders just win for fucks sake Same
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Aug 12, 2017 17:18
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I swear to Gord if he stuck around in Toronto for the bulk of his career and then bails out of Calgary after 1.5 seasons to go to some loser team I will be very upset with Mr. Murphy
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Aug 12, 2017 18:21
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Get yoko the gently caress out of Tampa immediately
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Aug 12, 2017 18:34
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I just want Hugh to win something before he retires. Masterton, Lady Byng, Messier award, anything.
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Aug 12, 2017 18:35
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2032 Offseason News Notable Retirements Nathan MacKinnon David Pastrnak Leon Draisaitl Jonathan Huberdeau Aleksander Barkov Seth Jones Michael Dal Colle Morgan Reilly Jonathan Drouin Aaron Ekblad Tyson Jost Darnell Nurse Rasmus Ristolainen Anthony Mantha Noah Hanifin Joonas Korpisalo Mackenzie Blackwood Full Lists: http://imgur.com/a/JIbDc - http://imgur.com/a/15qrH - http://imgur.com/a/aQmb5 - http://imgur.com/a/Q33JE Transaction News CGY -- re-signed Gord Murphy to a $46.5mil/6yr contract COL -- re-signed Aunt Jemima to a $46.9mil/5yr contract FLA -- re-signed Bernie Sanders to a $41.6mil/6yr contract LA -- re-signed Aldrig Glomma to a $5.8mil/2yr contract LA -- re-signed Coach Hockles to a $52.8mil/6yr contract MTL -- re-signed Stanley Matthews III to a $18.6mil/3yr contract PHI -- re-signed Bubba Biscuits to a $9.1mil/3yr contract SJ -- re-signed Cruz McBroozer to a $20.6mil/3yr contract CGY -- signed Kaido Hoovelson to a $20.8mil/3yr contract NJ -- signed Jack Bauer to a $22.6mil/4yr contract TB -- signed Nippon Ichi to a $3.3mil/1yr contract Unsigned Ogie Ogilthorpe III Jeremiah ThinkTank Guy Fieri Taro Tsujimoto Scott Johns Miracle Johnson 2032-33 Opening Night Info ARZ -- Southie Paux is a 2nd Line FWD BOS -- Quayden Aydin is a 1st Line FWD BOS -- Jus Poost is a 1st Line FWD CGY -- Kaido Hoovelson is a Top 4 DEF CGY -- Gord Murphy is a Top 2 DEF CAR -- Gord Gordon is a 2nd Line FWD COL -- Soup Athanatos is 1st Line FWD COL -- Aunt Jemima is a 1st Line FWD COL -- Puck Sonette is a 3rd CHK Line FWD EDM -- Anders Potetson is a 4th Line FWD FLA -- Bernie Sanders is a 1st Line FWD LA -- Aldrig Glomma is a 4th Line FWD LA -- Coach Hockles is a 1st Line FWD LA -- Floaty McPylon is a Top 2 DEF MIN -- Aejix Dundee is an Elite Goalie MTL -- Stanley Matthews III is a 2nd Line FWD NSH -- Potatoes O'Bourke is a Top 4 DEF NJ -- Jack Bauer is a 2nd Line FWD NYI -- Touchdown Thomas is a 1st Line FWD NYR -- Ewic Windros is a 2nd Line FWD PHI -- Bubba Biscuits is a 3rd CHK Line FWD PHI -- Hugh Jass is a Top 4 DEF PIT -- assigned Stabby McStabson to Wilkes-Barre/Scranton of the AHL, his role is Depth FWD SJ -- Cruz McBroozer is a 2nd Line FWD SJ -- Bavel Bortnik is a Top 2 DEF TB -- Nippon Ichi is a 4th Line FWD TB -- Yokozuna is an Elite Goalie WPG -- Mulkku Paskiainen is an Elite Goalie Unsigned Ogie Ogilthorpe III Jeremiah ThinkTank Guy Fieri Taro Tsujimoto Scott Johns Miracle Johnson Comments Sonette is the only Center on the Avs roster According to OVR ratings (which I am keeping secret), McPylon is the 5th best D on LA Hockles fucked around with this message at 05:34 on Aug 13, 2017 |
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Aug 13, 2017 05:17
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Heck yeahhhhhh Gord
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Aug 13, 2017 05:19
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Hockles posted:Comments Hey! You can't just say that and then not reveal the OVR ratings!  Also the retirement links lead to the 2031 retirements, just FYI.
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Aug 13, 2017 05:29
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Kilza posted:Also the retirement links lead to the 2031 retirements, just FYI. Not anymore!
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Aug 13, 2017 05:34
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Nippon got a pay increase! And it was with an actual good team too. 
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Aug 13, 2017 05:54
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Hockles posted:COL -- re-signed Aunt Jemima to a $46.9mil/5yr contract Hell yeah I'll get paid that much to lose
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Aug 13, 2017 06:06
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Furnaceface posted:Nippon got a pay increase! You are celebrating being locked in the same prison as yokozuna, cursed to never win the big one
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Aug 13, 2017 19:23
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Some day Jack Bauer will join a contender and actually do something in the playoffs. Today is not that day.
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Aug 13, 2017 23:43
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checksin posted:You are celebrating being locked in the same prison as yokozuna, cursed to never win the big one 23-24 Stanley Cup Champion Nippon Ichi does not like your defeatist attitude. 
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Aug 14, 2017 00:38
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Bernie makes the all star team, gets (sort of) paid, and makes the first line, finally. Of course, we're in the 2030s now so Florida is underwater
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Aug 14, 2017 18:37
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Glambags posted:Bernie makes the all star team, gets (sort of) paid, and makes the first line, finally. Of course, we're in the 2030s now so Florida is underwater America's national pastime is now blitzball.
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Aug 14, 2017 20:21
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Yay! A cup! Finally!
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Aug 14, 2017 23:13
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Hockles posted:Sonette is the only Center on the Avs roster lol let's do this Soupy and Aunty
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Aug 15, 2017 05:48
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yellowcar posted:lol let's do this Soupy and Aunty That doesn't mean that Sonette is going to get Top Line minutes....
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Aug 16, 2017 00:27
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mentholmoose posted:Some day Jack Bauer will join a contender and actually do something in the playoffs. Not Mulkku. He's a Jet until the day he dies, which will hopefully be soon.
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Aug 16, 2017 01:07
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Hockles posted:That doesn't mean that Sonette is going to get Top Line minutes.... i can dream...
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Aug 16, 2017 01:20
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2033 All-Star Break Update All-Stars Pacific - Coach Hockles (7th selection) Pacific - Bavel Bortnik (10th selection) Pacific - Floaty McPylon (10th selection) Central - Soup Athanatos (7th selection) Central - Aunt Jemima (11th selection) Central - Mulkku Paskiainen (4th seleciton) Atlantic - Quayden Aydin (11th selection) Atlantic - Jus Poost (12th selection) Metropolitan - Touchdown Thomas (12th selection) Transaction News None Notable Stats Aydin is 2nd in Points, Poost is 3rd, Thomas is 5th Thomas & Poost lead the NHL in Goals, Bortnik is 4th, Athanatos is 5th Thomas leads the NHL in +/- O'Bourke leads the NHL in PIM, Glomma is 2nd, Biscuits is 4th, Windros is 5th Comments Thomas is now 2nd All-time in Goals A goon isn't leading the NHL in points! WBS is 4th in their division http://tinyurl.com/NHL-Create-A-Goon-2017 for complete stats
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Aug 16, 2017 03:25
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Only 17:51 in average TOI? What are you doing to my precious Belarussian superstar, LA?!?
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Aug 16, 2017 03:43
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bavel bortnik would like to extend a nod of respect to gord murphy, who has averaged 25:3x over 1100 some games in his career. the only man more durable than bortnik... but even he will be defeated
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Aug 16, 2017 03:52
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first place, what the deuce
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Aug 16, 2017 18:31
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Furnaceface posted:23-24 Stanley Cup Champion Nippon Ichi does not like your defeatist attitude. look what you did
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Aug 16, 2017 21:52
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checksin posted:look what you did Ahahahahahahahaha  
Furnaceface fucked around with this message at 06:50 on Aug 17, 2017 |
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Aug 17, 2017 06:47
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End of 2032-33 Regular Season Update Transaction News None Notable Stats Aydin finished 2nd in Points, Thomas was 3rd, Poost was 4th Thomas lead the NHL in Goals, Poost was 2nd, Bortnik was 3rd Thomas lead the NHL in +/- O'Bourke lead the NHL in PIM, Biscuits was 2nd, Windros was 4th, Glomma was 5th O'Bourke was 2nd in Hits Comments No goons win the Art Ross this year... Bortnik should win another Norris Murphy reaches a career high in Assists McStabson & WBS made the playoffs in the AHL http://tinyurl.com/NHL-Create-A-Goon-2017 for complete stats
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Aug 19, 2017 16:45
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you jamokes are getting old
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Aug 19, 2017 17:39
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Avs are back in the playoffs baby!
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Aug 19, 2017 17:41
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I feel like maybe, possibly, having Nippon on your team might be some kind of curse. TB goes from presidents cup to bottom of the barrel the next year when they signed him. 
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Aug 19, 2017 23:50
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More like Nippon san-jū
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Aug 20, 2017 00:38
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corn on the cop posted:you jamokes are getting old still scorin' goals like it ain't no thang
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Aug 20, 2017 01:13
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corn on the cop posted:you jamokes are getting old Floaty McPylon is only 32! And has made numerous requests that he deserves more playing time! Unfortunately he still has neglected to take the advanced English courses offered by the Kings, so he's only able to tell them this in Belarussian.
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Aug 20, 2017 01:22
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Hell yes instead of being miro satan i ended up being tom loving kostopolous
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Aug 20, 2017 02:14
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bavel needs to retire at a career 420 goals and settle in on a post-playing career as a marijuana farmer
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Aug 20, 2017 03:28
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End of 2032-33 Season Update NHL Awards Stanley Cup Champions Calgary Flames Presidents Trophy (Best Regular Season Record) Los Angeles Kings Art Ross Trophy (Most Points) R. Palapuz -- Philadelphia Flyers Hart Memorial Trophy (League MVP) Touchdown Thomas -- New York Islanders James Norris Memorial Trophy (Best Defenseman) Bavel Bortnik -- San Jose Sharks Lady Byng Memorial Trophy (Best Sportsmanship & Gentlemanly Conduct) R. Palapuz -- Philadelphia Flyers Calder Memorial Trophy (Rookie of the Year) B. Gill -- New Jersey Devils Conn Smythe Trophy (Playoff MVP) O. Rodrigue -- Calgary Flames Vezina Trophy (Best Goaltender) H. Klotz -- Los Angeles Kings William M. Jennings Trophy (Goalie(s) on team with fewest Goals Against) H. Klotz -- Los Angeles Kings Bill Masterton Memorial Trophy (Perserverence, Sportsmanship & Dedication to hockey) M. Kokkonen -- Boston Bruins Frank J. Selke Trophy (Best Defensive Forward) S. McGratten -- Detroit Red Wings Ted Lindsay Award (League MVP as voted by NHLPA) Touchdown Thomas -- New York Islanders Maurice "Rocket" Richard Trophy (Most Goals) Touchdown Thomas -- New York Islanders  Upcoming Free Agents COL -- Puck Sonette EDM -- Anders Potetson MIN -- Aejix Dundee NSH -- Potatoes O'Bourke NYR -- Ewic Windros PIT -- Stabby McStabson TB -- Nippon Ichi Ogie Ogilthorpe III Jeremiah ThinkTank Guy Fieri Taro Tsujimoto Scott Johns Miracle Johnson Comments Murphy and Hoovelson get their first Cup after all the usual suspects got eliminated As expected minimal goon awards this year. Thomas won the Hart and the Lindsay in addition to his usual Rocket Richard McStabson lead the AHL in goals and won the Willie Marshall Award, as well as the Rookie of the Year award http://tinyurl.com/NHL-Create-A-Goon-2017 for complete stats
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Aug 20, 2017 06:06
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