Haifisch posted:

Me [27 M] with my neighbor/gf? [25 F] duration, language and cultural barriers

maskenfreiheit posted:

It's me reviewer 3. I'm giving you a "reject" because I didn't read the part of your paper where youthe graduate student I forced to read the paper in lieu of myself said that didn't use the obscure statistical test I have a boner for.

Haifisch posted:

Me [27 M] with my neighbor/gf? [25 F] duration, language and cultural barriers

Pick posted:

Haifisch posted:

Me [27 M] with my neighbor/gf? [25 F] duration, language and cultural barriers

Haifisch posted:

Me [27 M] with my neighbor/gf? [25 F] duration, language and cultural barriers

A Wizard of Goatse posted:

ten years late reddit gets in on the classic GBS craze of writing novellas about their lives as two-fisted garbageman running off the neighborhood gangbangers with a savage quip and the kung fu they learned in Nam

Haifisch posted:

Me [27 M] with my neighbor/gf? [25 F] duration, language and cultural barriers

Pick posted:

A Wizard of Goatse posted:

lol

Pick posted:

hot take: i once heard some kind of story of a girl through a friend of a friend's livejournal group that loved being randomly drugged and coerced into sex. this was around 2004 but t1ts_honk33 promised it was real. proposition: all women should enjoy having meth shoved up their rear end in a top hat if they once said "hey" to a guy (implied consent ). for exploration of this topic, let's turn to world experts, fat cruel divorced rear end in a top hat and edgy tween virgin . welcome gentlemen how are you tonite

A Wizard of Goatse posted:

ten years late reddit gets in on the classic GBS craze of writing novellas about their lives as two-fisted garbageman running off the neighborhood gangbangers with a savage quip and the kung fu they learned in Nam

quote:

We exchanged pleasantries when they moved in but none of them knew English so we had a Nepalese kid 

fruit on the bottom posted:

https://www.reddit.com/r/confession/comments/6k8sg5/i_hired_a_pi_to_make_sure_my_girlfriend_is_a/

a reddit comment posted:

You did say you don't want to have a theological discussion, and I'm not interested in that either, but you should take this as an opportunity to reflect on how your addiction to your religion is negatively affecting your life.

quote:

You know that atheists are idiots because they can't even feel god even when he's within them. It's a sign of mental illness and I think it would be better if they were killed en mass.

quote:

I met "Simon" through a popular online dating site at a particularly vulnerable time of my life.

He was tall, handsome, successful and kind. He was close to my age and we had similar interests. He complemented my accomplishments and made me feel good about myself... It was almost too good to be true.

We chatted online for a couple days before I asked him for secondary picture and I wanted to meet him. He was reluctant to meet and made excuses. He worked out of town on rotation in the field office. And he said "I hate selfies, I hate the way I look." "But you're so handsome!" I oozed. After much discussion and excuses, he admitted, "Oh yeah, about that, I'm really embarrassed about this... but that's not my actual picture..." he admitted *red flag*.

Cue the sob story about being rejected for his looks all his life, even by me, at an earlier date, on this very site, with his actual picture (I didn't remember it, but it was possible, after all, girls get bombarded with messages on this site and I might have overlooked him based on looks). I felt so mean, I rejected this "nice guy." I had to make it right... I was hooked.

He sent the picture, it was okay, I mean he was cute, but he wasn't the tall, rugged outdoors-man in the original profile photo... I let it go... I accepted him. He was still "Simon," and I liked "Simon."

I asked if he had Facebook and if I could add him. I searched for the name he gave me, but I couldn't find his page. *red flag*

"Well... " he said, "I have to tell you something else..." *red flag*. "I'm really embarrassed about this... It's about my name... It's not really 'Simon.'" *red flag*

I was shocked! The picture, the name, what else could there be? "Is that all?" I asked, "Is there anything else you want to tell me?"

"Well..." he admitted "I'm not really 33, I'm 28"

"What a thing to lie about!" I thought, but I was so intrigued. "He's really damaged, he needs help, how can I help him?"

I went into hero mommy mode. I understood hurt and rejected kids, I have two, both are high need, and one is mentally ill with some hearbreaking behavior issues. I already had enough on my plate but I really wanted to help him. I decided I was going to forgive, despite the kids and deception and move ahead with this guy.

He wasn't tall or strikingly handsome, my age, or anything else that he claimed, but he was kind of cute and he was sort of interesting. Besides, it had been 3 years since my last relationship and he was a man and he was paying attention to me!

He said he wanted to be a dad! How wonderful! I was so excited for my kids to have a daddy... whoa, this is sick right?! I know. I can hardly believe it myself now that I can look back.

I decided to tell my friends about him. I sent my closest girlfriend a screenshot of his picture. "That's my old boss!" she replied.

My heart stopped... but she never worked out of town on rotation... how could have worked for him know him? She must be thinking of someone else; I doubted my friend... *red flag* "I didn't realize he'd split up with his girlfriend." she texted.

My heart sank, "Oh no" I thought... he's still lying and he is really not who he says he is... what do I do now?"

Another confrontation... Another sob story... Another boundary being pushed aside... Another red flag ignored...

I wish I could tell you that I stopped accepting his messages after that, I wish that I could tell you that I never spoke to him again, that I warned others... but I can't.

I had introduced him to my kids, and they loved him. I had hurt them so many times before, I couldn't do it again. I had such a guilty conscience. I thought about him and his feelings and even though I had done nothing wrong, I wanted to make it up to him.

The rest of the story is simply unfathomable and extremely painful, but I stayed for 2.5 of the most confusing and agonizing years of my life. I constantly forgave him, I moved past the unforgivable, I endured his pathological lies, his verbal, financial, sexual, and psychological abuse and throughout it all, I promised to change and make it easier on him... I couldn't live without him. After all of that, I married him.

You may be thinking "How stupid is this woman?" and it's a fair question!

I am not stupid by definition of the word, but he was a powerful manipulator who could twist around any situation to make it my fault. He wore me down until I believed the things that he said about me and then I was apologizing and trying to make right the mistakes that he made in the first place! It was awful.

My husband even blamed his affair(s) on me. "How could you do this to me?" I sobbed. "I wasn't sold on us..." he explained weakly.

"Oh! Well then! I guess I didn't realize that was how relationships worked! I guess I didn't realize that not being sold on a relationship gave license to cheat, to create new connections, to feel the things meant for your partner with other women! I didn't know that!"

The above stories are just a very few of the horrific plethora of insulting and dehumanizing behavior my husband displayed.

I always considered myself to be a strong, independent woman who cared for herself and put the best interests of the kids first. I don't know how it happened but I'm glad it did, because now I have the experience to help others.

I realize first that the past is not as important as the future and I am making huge changes now.

I am no longer with him and am never going back.

These are the steps I took to get away:

1. I blocked him on all forms of communication and stopped contacting him.

Facebook, email, LinkedIn, my cell phone. I blocked his friends and his family and I changed my number.

2. I moved into a second stage housing complex for abused women.

This isn't an option for everyone, but thankfully I was able to get into a safe place. I lived in a friend's basement for 3 months before I made the choice to permanently leave "Simon." I am safe and can stay here for a year.

3. I sought counselling for myself and my children.

For me, it started with Victim Services through a women's agency.

My counselor was sweet and soft spoken and never told me I was stupid for staying. She gave me worksheets and coloring pages and told me to relax.

I cried to her for 8 sessions, at the 9th session she transferred me to a women's trauma counselor who will help me to build self-esteem and break patterns of the past.

I see a spiritual advisor who encourages me to faithfully stay the course and wait for the man meant for me.

My kids are seeing children's trauma counselors who are helping them to understand and cope with the dysfunctional, raging fights and abuse they witnessed.

4. I surrounded myself with healthy people.

I have a few folks that I text when I get the brainwave that maybe he is better now, maybe he didn't really mean any of those things, maybe it really was me, maybe he's ready to change.

I message or call them first, they set me straight in a kind and loving way.

I joined a couple Facebook support groups for victims of abuse. It helped for a while but getting out with my friends is where the real healing lies.

5. I am trying new things.

Nothing I did before worked, so I am trying new things. I am trying new foods, new activities, new hairstyles, new makeup, whatever I want to do, I do.

I am not under someone's rule any longer.

In my marriage, so much was off limits.

Now, I am taking care of myself and going for new adventures. I am not seeking approval any longer and I am no longer talking to my father, who started this abuse cycle in my life.

I am free, and though it's only been a short time, I am full of hope for the future. In March 2018, I can divorce this lying abuser and move ahead in a good way.

Thank you for reading, please share with anyone you think could be helped through my experience.

Haifisch posted:

Me [27 M] with my neighbor/gf? [25 F] duration, language and cultural barriers

quote:

Texas

I am a white guy working at a restaurant where work environment is pretty irreverent. Drug use, sexual themes, underage drinking, etc are all frequent topics, as is the common use of the N-word, especially among kitchen staff. In a debate with a coworker today regarding the use of the word as an epithet vs a term of endearment. I posited that either the word was offensive and no one should use it, or it was a term of endearment and anyone could use it. My point was that a different standard should not be applied based on race. She, a black woman, said that she was allowed to use it but I was not. I said, "I have the right to say anything that you do. Nigga. There, I just said it". The coworker complained, and I was sent home. I am facing possible termination over this, despite the words frequent usage among black and Hispanic staff members. I would like to know if this constitutes discrimination, as a different standard applies to employees of different races. It was obviously poor judgement, and I have literally never said it before, but she got under my skin. Ironic how quickly a hypothetical debate became a reality.

Also, I know Texas is an at-will employment state, however I have a right to arbitration through the company per my employee handbook. Company based in Colorado/Tennessee, if that matters.

Thanks for your time, sorry if this is a stupid question.

Danaru posted:

Use of the N-word by white vs black employees.

slouch posted:

Oh so she couldn't even make it to the agreed upon one year mark to bring up marriage again? Don't waste time with people who aren't willing to respect your boundaries.

SirSamVimes posted:

I mean the guy posted in the comments

quote:

You know that atheists are idiots because they can't even feel god even when he's within them. It's a sign of mental illness and I think it would be better if they were killed en mass.

so lol

Danaru posted:

Use of the N-word by white vs black employees.

Danaru posted:

Use of the N-word by white vs black employees.

Inescapable Duck posted:

It's like Mario Party, except way more tedious to set up, keep track of and put away.

I'm reminded of one Japanese local multiplayer board game where if you're losing, you can make a deal with the devil and go full gently caress Everyone mode, wrecking everyone else's things scorched earth with Satanic superpowers. I'm sure that ended some relationships.

Danaru posted:

Use of the N-word by white vs black employees.

Haifisch posted:

Me [27 M] with my neighbor/gf? [25 F] duration, language and cultural barriers

dudeness posted:

Durr i'm an indiot and i don't want a lifetime of amazing curry and to be married to a model that constantly wants to clean for me because she might exhaust my supply of ring pops and occasionally make me fight a raccoon.

Danaru posted:

Use of the N-word by white vs black employees.

Anne Whateley posted:

Dude definitely got rabies from the raccoon and the rest is delirium