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The Cheshire Cat posted:"You never want to do ANYTHING." *Writes a magnum opus about ritual theology, specifically how horses don't know poo poo about it* "A Hermetic's Guide to Equine Ritual Theology: Horses are loving Stupid will surely serve as a proper warning for future generations." Honky Dong Country fucked around with this message at 07:36 on Aug 12, 2017 |
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Aug 12, 2017 07:34
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My 83 year old Byzantine Emperor has just passed away. The last 50 odd years of his reign he was insane due to syphillis (getting the nickname "the wise" on the way) and struggled with non-stop rebellions, at one point actually losing the throne before managing to win it back by rebelling himself and usurping his usurping aunt. His son sadly died young but he was succeeded by his strong, attractive and ambitious grandson aged 22. Great I think, plenty of time to consolidate and then push on towards reuniting the Roman Empire. He dies in his first battle against some independent Georgian count and now I'm his 3 year old son.  I love this game.
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Aug 13, 2017 12:38
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Weavered posted:The last 50 odd years of his reign he was insane due to syphillis (getting the nickname "the wise" on the way) I like to think when this happens the nicknames are meant ironically. "Oh, another proclamation from the emperor - he's outlawing all horses that aren't named 'Fred'. Looks like his 'wisdom' is at it again"
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Aug 13, 2017 22:41
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The Cheshire Cat posted:I like to think when this happens the nicknames are meant ironically. It's more likely in this game for it to be a case of calling the King "that crazy dumb motherfucker" out loud would prolly get you locked in a dungeon while said crazy ruler reads poetry at you and tickles you until you snap and go insane yourself.
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Aug 14, 2017 01:10
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Ck2 finally clicked for me after many false starts. I just created the Kingdom of Erie on newbie island, and boy, epidemics really gently caress things over for small kingdoms. In the first few years I had a smallpox epidemic break out which lead to a witch hunt, and that ended up with my only two tax paying counties having a - 100% tax income modifier for ten years. I've basically been in debt for two lifetimes. Only now have I actually been able to build up some cash, which I immediately blew on the kingdom title, but it was worth it. King Brian the Second also has had consumption for like 6 goddamn years now. It never goes away but my court doctor is good enough to keep it treated, so he still goes out and leads the armies himself while coughing up blood. The worst part about this playthrough has been the fact that between Brian I, Brian II and Tomas I, they've had about 15 kids in total, most of them women. I have no idea what I should be doing with them, and outside of my direct heirs/a backup, I just let the AI pick a Guardian then marry them out to whichever king comes calling. Should I be trying to marry them into my family directly, or am I fine just getting rid of my consumption addled kids to other courts? Also what are some other interesting start dates for new players besides Ireland? The game/wiki recommends William the Conquerer, but starting out in a war puts me off a bit.
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Aug 14, 2017 14:54
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Soho Joe posted:Today I met the leader of a company that he has been leading for over 13 years! Well, at least he's got Breton culture.
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Aug 14, 2017 15:10
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CascadeBeta posted:Ck2 finally clicked for me after many false starts. I just created the Kingdom of Erie on newbie island, and boy, epidemics really gently caress things over for small kingdoms. In the first few years I had a smallpox epidemic break out which lead to a witch hunt, and that ended up with my only two tax paying counties having a - 100% tax income modifier for ten years. I've basically been in debt for two lifetimes. Only now have I actually been able to build up some cash, which I immediately blew on the kingdom title, but it was worth it. Robert de Hauteville of Apulia in 1066. Your immediate goal is to form the Kingdom of Sicily. Also, you should try to use your daughters/nieces/etc. strategically. Find unmarried dudes with strong claims to titles, invite them to your court, and marry them to a lady of your dynasty matrilineally - the kids will be of your dynasty but have their dad's claims. Jazerus fucked around with this message at 20:27 on Aug 14, 2017 |
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Aug 14, 2017 16:37
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Jazerus posted:Robert de Hauteville of Apulia in 1066. Your immediate goal is to form the Kingdom of Sicily. Seconding this. Personally I've found achievement hunting to make for some fun games. The Abbasids in 1066 with the goal of reforming an empire level caliphate while under the Turks and the Danish start in 1066 with the goal of taking over England. Both are doable but not too easy. Or try to unify India, I've played this game an embarrassing amount of hours but still never done an Indian run.  Edit: Can't remember the name of the dynasty but the Duke of Barcelona in the Old Gods start also made for a good game. Lots of opportunities to expand within Francia with the added benefit of close by crusades/ reconquista into Spain. Weavered fucked around with this message at 16:56 on Aug 14, 2017 |
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Aug 14, 2017 16:51
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India is a fine way to start playing, but you have to expect invasions and sudden kingdom loss syndrome. The problem with India, iirc is that they aren't all that different from playing as England. I played a couple of good games as Rajasthan and Pandya respectively. Both were fine. In a lot of ways, India is newbie continent, because unless you're the king of Sindh, you probably won't have to deal with foreigners. You also get the best holy order in the game.
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Aug 14, 2017 20:23
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I find the super-high province density across the entirety of India kind of unpleasant, though it's still worth checking out.Napoleon Bonaparty posted:Both were fine. In a lot of ways, India is newbie continent, because unless you're the king of Sindh, you probably won't have to deal with foreigners. You also get the best holy order in the game. Sindh is a pretty fun start—I think you start as a tributary of the Abbasids (at least in 769), but you're right on the silk road and you have a lot of interesting options.
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Aug 14, 2017 23:15
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- Bjorn Ironside af Munso, King (Duke) of Sweden (Svi[thorn]jod) in 867 - Matilda di Canossa, Duchess of Tuscany in 1066 - Alexios Komnenos, Byzantine Emperor in 1081
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Aug 14, 2017 23:16
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Does no-one else go out of their way to raid themselves into an interesting religion? I mean, the Norse can get pretty much anyone they want, thanks to concubines and even some others can do the rest now thanks to secret religion shenanigans. Some are more tricky than others though. Why the hell do the Zun have to be so far away and so poo poo at surviving? OH yeah, and has anyone found the wonderful trick for turning into a merchant republic as a pagan; pretend to convert to christianity then form the cult. It also leads you spread your poo poo religion way further before reformation
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Aug 14, 2017 23:42
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Deceitful Penguin posted:OH yeah, and has anyone found the wonderful trick for turning into a merchant republic as a pagan; pretend to convert to christianity then form the cult. It also leads you spread your poo poo religion way further before reformation You can still do the 'give a city to your heir and force revolt' trick, which is better because it ensures that the other houses that are spawned are the correct religion.
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Aug 14, 2017 23:55
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binge crotching posted:You can still do the 'give a city to your heir and force revolt' trick, which is better because it ensures that the other houses that are spawned are the correct religion. Kids not being born into secret religions is super annoying tho
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Aug 15, 2017 00:37
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Deceitful Penguin posted:Nah, assuming you have religious revocations, having the other idiots be another religion is great. Especially if you have the rest of your vassals as your secret one; you can still run a secret cult even as the top level dude. Kids not automatically being cult members isn't too big a deal anymore imo. If succession leaves you with a ruler who isn't a cultist it's usually only a matter of time before some cult member attempts to recruit you and you just accept it. E: In other news my Jewish game continues on nice and smoothly. It's now 1056 and Egypt and Israel/Jerusalem are now de jure a part of my custom Empire of Israel. Jewish Austrasia is still a major power in Europe, standing up to the HRE and the Fylkir who controls the entire Empire of Scandinavia now. I suspect the Sunnis pouring into the rest of Europe from Hispania will be a problem for them but I plan to watch them closely and assist my fellow Jews in any holy wars. Jewish Bengal still exists but is taking some losses, but frankly I don't give a hot poo poo about India so gently caress them they're on their own. I wouldn't mind helping to keep them propped up but they're at war WAY to often to bother trying to constantly send troops over there while Austrasia is capable of handling their own poo poo except for a crusade or something. I also recently won a Great Holy War for Mali and installed a distant kinsman as King. I'm keeping them in the empire until a good portion of the kingdom has gone feudal, a process that's going pretty quickly. Then I'll grant them independence as well. Basically I'm just coasting at this point. I really only care to have Israel/Jerusalem, Syria, Egypt, Nubia, Abyssinia, Mesopotamia, and Oman in the Empire itself. Beyond that I'm basically installing Jewish kings and granting them independence. Gonna be Gideons in power all over the drat place. Honky Dong Country fucked around with this message at 05:52 on Aug 15, 2017 |
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Aug 15, 2017 03:11
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Deceitful Penguin posted:Nah, assuming you have religious revocations, having the other idiots be another religion is great. Especially if you have the rest of your vassals as your secret one; you can still run a secret cult even as the top level dude. Yeah, when they are the wrong religion, you can get like 800% plot strength when assassinating one to win an election.
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Aug 15, 2017 09:34
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BravestOfTheLamps fucked around with this message at 19:22 on Nov 11, 2018 |
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Aug 15, 2017 09:53
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 I couldn't stop laughing for about 5 minutes
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Aug 15, 2017 10:32
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TacMan posted:
Holy poo poo that's awesome lol
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Aug 15, 2017 18:25
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TacMan posted:
the goddamn horse would cut off my balls i just know it
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Aug 15, 2017 18:38
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TacMan posted:
Well, did it cure your balls cancer or not?
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Aug 15, 2017 20:09
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So I managed to change succession to Agnatic-cognatic and the my very next Emperor only had two daughters. Naturally I want to matri-marry them so that it stays in the damned dynasty. Well, both daughters are getting super pissed every single loving time they get married. The first one killed three husbands and basically screamed "FINE I JUST WON'T gently caress EVER AGAIN" and went celibate. The second daughter just came of age and pulled the same stunt, but hasn't killed any husbands yet. What the gently caress, man? E: Welp, second daughter killed her husband. What the gently caress is wrong with these girls? Honky Dong Country fucked around with this message at 20:22 on Aug 15, 2017 |
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Aug 15, 2017 20:16
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Honky Dong Country posted:So I managed to change succession to Agnatic-cognatic and the my very next Emperor only had two daughters. Naturally I want to matri-marry them so that it stays in the damned dynasty. Well, both daughters are getting super pissed every single loving time they get married. The first one killed three husbands and basically screamed "FINE I JUST WON'T gently caress EVER AGAIN" and went celibate. The second daughter just came of age and pulled the same stunt, but hasn't killed any husbands yet. Crusader King II: FINE I JUST WON'T gently caress EVER AGAIN!
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Aug 15, 2017 20:55
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And female rulers can't even join a monastic order to easily get rid of celibate!
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Aug 15, 2017 21:08
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Wow, I really love playing muslims. Can someone post an explanation of horde mechanics, cuz they look like fun but I have no idea how to start or how they work.
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Aug 15, 2017 21:09
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Honky Dong Country posted:So I managed to change succession to Agnatic-cognatic and the my very next Emperor only had two daughters. Naturally I want to matri-marry them so that it stays in the damned dynasty. Well, both daughters are getting super pissed every single loving time they get married. The first one killed three husbands and basically screamed "FINE I JUST WON'T gently caress EVER AGAIN" and went celibate. The second daughter just came of age and pulled the same stunt, but hasn't killed any husbands yet. I got that once. Found a virtuous genius guy with no vices, married him matrilineally. He lived for two months before she killed him. Tried to rermarry her, got the same warnings again, then I went "gently caress it" and let her die alone. Never had it happen to both girls at once though, that's bad luck indeed. I wonder what would it look like when marrying a guy while playing as one of them?
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Aug 15, 2017 21:15
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Edgar Allen Ho posted:Wow, I really love playing muslims. Get tributaries asap; these give you cash and tech points. After that, use them to conquer some neighbouring land. Grab poo poo land to give to your vassal clans while keeping good (i.e. land with more holdings) for yourself. Oh yeah, and good commanders will make and break those first battles, so either shop around with the character finder or invite some. You poo poo out prestige anyhow and get decent gold while raiding so you have no excuse to not have a decent one. When you want to invade, you have to give land away so your max population goes down enough to get the CB but you have to have more than 30K population for it to work. The start is hardest, while the longer you play as them the easier it gets; you get decent cash with population and silk road posts and tributaries and your expenses are mostly prestige. That's about it I think. Oh and raid a bunch and humiliation is a great CB if you can't grab land at the start to weaken your enemies. Deceitful Penguin fucked around with this message at 21:27 on Aug 15, 2017 |
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Aug 15, 2017 21:19
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Honky Dong Country posted:So I managed to change succession to Agnatic-cognatic and the my very next Emperor only had two daughters. Naturally I want to matri-marry them so that it stays in the damned dynasty. Well, both daughters are getting super pissed every single loving time they get married. The first one killed three husbands and basically screamed "FINE I JUST WON'T gently caress EVER AGAIN" and went celibate. The second daughter just came of age and pulled the same stunt, but hasn't killed any husbands yet. It's a very rare (1 in 200) event that can happen when marrying a daughter. It's probably a bug that it doesn't check to see if said daughter is your heir, but you had crazy bad luck to have it fire twice. If you do notice it fire, check to see if they have a lover. After their husband dies, marry them to their lover. Otherwise hope you get the event where they run away and either start a merc band or settle as a feudal lord. Both of those give her a matri-marriage, which is all you really care about.
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Aug 15, 2017 21:44
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binge crotching posted:It's a very rare (1 in 200) event that can happen when marrying a daughter. It's probably a bug that it doesn't check to see if said daughter is your heir, but you had crazy bad luck to have it fire twice. I'll keep this in mind for the future, thanks. But for now I'm completely hosed since now that both of them have decided that sex is icky forever. I've instead opted to have my current emperor switch to seduction focus and basically loving every woman in sight until a male bastard that I can legitimize gets born and just sucking on a few years of regency.
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Aug 15, 2017 21:49
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Honky Dong Country posted:I'll keep this in mind for the future, thanks. But for now I'm completely hosed since now that both of them have decided that sex is icky forever. I've instead opted to have my current emperor switch to seduction focus and basically loving every woman in sight until a male bastard that I can legitimize gets born and just sucking on a few years of regency. A natural reaction to finding out your daughters are goons.
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Aug 15, 2017 21:55
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Edgar Allen Ho posted:Wow, I really love playing muslims. Yeah Muslim is CKII easy mode, sometimes it's fun to just smash skulls and never have to worry about succession ever.
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Aug 15, 2017 21:56
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Honky Dong Country posted:I'll keep this in mind for the future, thanks. But for now I'm completely hosed since now that both of them have decided that sex is icky forever. I've instead opted to have my current emperor switch to seduction focus and basically loving every woman in sight until a male bastard that I can legitimize gets born and just sucking on a few years of regency. Can't you join a monastic order if you get stuck playing as them? Those allow to remove the "celibacy" trait once you're up a few ranks, so it may be the way to save your line if nothing else works.
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Aug 15, 2017 22:04
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Eric the Mauve posted:Yeah Muslim is CKII easy mode, sometimes it's fun to just smash skulls and never have to worry about succession ever. And also always be Mu'tazilite so that every single ruler is at minimum extremely intelligent  Mu'tazilite Hermetic dynasties are insane. Just have every single ruler be 34+ Learning nbd.
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Aug 15, 2017 22:27
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Edgar Allen Ho posted:Can someone post an explanation of horde mechanics, cuz they look like fun but I have no idea how to start or how they work. One of the biggest things to remember is that any land you hold that has at least 2 settlements in it (towns/castles/churches/tribes) isn't considered nomadic land as far as the rest of the clans are concerned, but DOES count toward your own population/manpower/income. This means that once you expand out of the steppe into more settled lands, you may want to hold on to some of the land yourself without burning it down. You'll gain lots of money from your baron level vassals, you'll gain lots of population from the empty holdings, but the other clans won't consider it land worth arguing about. This is an easy way to get strong while having weak vassal clans. Also, if you are already at 9 clans, you can hold as much empty land as you want, because while your clan vassals will hate you, you won't get the minor clan rising revolts anymore. And if you ever do get one, just immediately surrender. Just don't make any of the other clans into councilors, and you can do whatever you want. Also also, once you get strong enough you really don't care at all about vassal non-clans. And strong enough means somewhere in the 5-10k horses range. You can subjugate/subordinate non-nomadic realms, and then immediately imprison/revoke their titles. Your council and your clans won't care because they aren't nomads, and you'll be strong enough to crush the revolt. And then gain even more money and prestige from it. Just make sure you have a good spymaster and auto-stop plots enabled. If anyone starts a plot all of your tiny baron vassals will join because they hate you so much, so it's not uncommon to find yourself drinking a nice big glass of poisoned wine. You can also combine everything above. Start out with keeping all the baron vassals so you build up your troops while keeping the other clans small, and then once you hit 6k or 9k or whatever you're happy with start burning everything. Until you get to the 9 clan cap, make sure you burn provinces one or two at a time. If you end up burning all 20 at once you'll end up with a revolt before you can split into more clans. And then once you're at the clan cap, just burn absolutely everything you conquer. You'll also want to launch as many invasions at a time as you possibly can once the expansion phase starts, because you'll be maxed at 100% threat from then on. Probably worth turning off threat for the first couple of times you try it so you don't beat your head against that wall.
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Aug 15, 2017 22:41
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Deceitful Penguin posted:When you want to invade, you have to give land away so your max population goes down enough to get the CB but you have to have more than 30K population for it to work. binge crotching posted:One of the biggest things to remember is that any land you hold that has at least 2 settlements in it (towns/castles/churches/tribes) isn't considered nomadic land as far as the rest of the clans are concerned, but DOES count toward your own population/manpower/income.
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Aug 15, 2017 22:53
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Eric the Mauve posted:Yeah Muslim is CKII easy mode, sometimes it's fun to just smash skulls and never have to worry about succession ever. I kind of wish they'd take another crack at them to add a bit more depth but I don't think it's going to happen. I'd love to see some kind of mechanic for multiple Caliphates to exist simultaneously within the same branch, with a similar moral authority impact as having antipopes. Except instead of a ruler declaring one of their subjects a caliph like with antipopes, you'd just like, spend a bunch of piety or something and declare yourself Caliph, and then get CBs to force other Muslims of your branch to accept you as the rightful Caliph, as well as CBs to depose other Caliphs. The trouble with the Muslims blobs is that there's barely any infighting, especially if the Shia rising event just gets wiped out (although it's a lot more effective now than it used to be). Plus when playing as a Muslim, if you don't start as the Caliph it is basically impossible to ever become Caliph thanks to how the inheritance mechanics work - you have to just completely wipe out their entire realm to reform the title yourself, which seems a little excessive.
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Aug 15, 2017 23:28
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The Cheshire Cat posted:I kind of wish they'd take another crack at them to add a bit more depth but I don't think it's going to happen. I'd love to see some kind of mechanic for multiple Caliphates to exist simultaneously within the same branch, with a similar moral authority impact as having antipopes. Except instead of a ruler declaring one of their subjects a caliph like with antipopes, you'd just like, spend a bunch of piety or something and declare yourself Caliph, and then get CBs to force other Muslims of your branch to accept you as the rightful Caliph, as well as CBs to depose other Caliphs. The trouble with the Muslims blobs is that there's barely any infighting, especially if the Shia rising event just gets wiped out (although it's a lot more effective now than it used to be). Plus when playing as a Muslim, if you don't start as the Caliph it is basically impossible to ever become Caliph thanks to how the inheritance mechanics work - you have to just completely wipe out their entire realm to reform the title yourself, which seems a little excessive. Yeah, Caliphate mechanics are the main problem with CK2 Islam (among others, certainly). The idea of one true Pope-like Caliph that all other Muslims answer is a polite and impossible fiction at best for the time period of most of the game.
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Aug 15, 2017 23:47
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Honky Dong Country posted:I'll keep this in mind for the future, thanks. But for now I'm completely hosed since now that both of them have decided that sex is icky forever. I've instead opted to have my current emperor switch to seduction focus and basically loving every woman in sight until a male bastard that I can legitimize gets born and just sucking on a few years of regency. I've had good luck with that for tribal characters. My dude in a recent norse campaign went and basically never married, hosed everyone else's wife, produced like 40 bastards. I legitimized one and only one so he'd inherit the whole drat thing, but then died of scurvy on the way to raid venice and my shitass heir died in his first battle and byebye campaign
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Aug 15, 2017 23:48
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Grand Prize Winner posted:I've had good luck with that for tribal characters. My dude in a recent norse campaign went and basically never married, hosed everyone else's wife, produced like 40 bastards. I legitimized one and only one so he'd inherit the whole drat thing, but then died of scurvy on the way to raid venice and my shitass heir died in his first battle and byebye campaign Just legitimize all the men and deal with gavelkind later. It's not hard to grab land back on the next generation.
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Aug 16, 2017 01:10
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Lord Cyrahzax posted:Yeah, Caliphate mechanics are the main problem with CK2 Islam (among others, certainly). The idea of one true Pope-like Caliph that all other Muslims answer is a polite and impossible fiction at best for the time period of most of the game. IMO the mega-caliph also kinda sucks fun out of the early starts. (Alongside the never-ending parade of Karling border gore and the fact that tribals and pagan will pretty much always last far into the high middle ages.) I'd like to see the taifa states emerge, the caliphate go down (or take down the byzantines, or do something besides just chug along), cultures like normans actually showing up and thriving, and Europe to at least have a possibility of ending up christianized and non-karling. Or let other crazy possibilities happen, maybe the Rus go muslim and Hungary goes orthodox, maybe the HRE keeps France in the fold, maybe France falls to a viking invasion and an entire kingdom of normans emerges 200 years early, whatever. Just make it feasible for something that looks like 1066 or later to emerge from an 867 start.
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Aug 16, 2017 01:23
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