|
Am I (31f) wrong or just not getting it with my fiance (31m)? u/winnerloser2017 quote:So my fiance and I are having a decent day together before the work week starts again tomorrow and we're watching the show the mist. Ok well that's a weird reaction but surely they could talk it out and quote:So your bf likes playing mind games and demands that you follow every command he gives you on the basis of "that's what my dad did to me". quote:Yep, hes passing on the abuse his father did to him onto you. Instead of breaking the abuse cycle, he fully intends to continue it with you as his victim. quote:That doesnt excuse the fact hes abusive and choosing to abuse you. quote:He's abusive, callous and wayyyyy manipulative. quote:Controlling and abusive, this guy sounds kind of insane.
|
#
?
Aug 15, 2017 01:45
|
|
|
|
| # ? Jun 7, 2024 23:09 |
|
|
am i missing something those comments sound pretty on the money is it like one of those rocky horror party things except at the end of the third episode you're supposed to develop a brain tumor
|
|
#
?
Aug 15, 2017 01:49
|
|
|
Bleep bloop. My [25M] Girlfriend [23F] of 6 months continues to carry pepper spray around me. quote:When I met my girlfriend months ago, I thought the pepper spray was just good thinking. She didn't know me at the time so she had no reason to trust me.
|
|
#
?
Aug 15, 2017 01:51
|
|
|
A Wizard of Goatse posted:am i missing something those comments sound pretty on the money I dunno man I wouldn't call that abusive although it is not a good look. He deleted the show
|
|
#
?
Aug 15, 2017 01:53
|
|
|
racist against bears
|
|
#
?
Aug 15, 2017 01:53
|
|
|
Haifisch posted:Bleep bloop. Better to need it and have it than not need it and not have it
|
|
#
?
Aug 15, 2017 01:54
|
|
|
Haifisch posted:Bleep bloop. My girlfriend still has antivirus installed 6 months into our relationship. I am hurt that she believes I will install a keylogger on the computer and send her money to Nigeria.
|
|
#
?
Aug 15, 2017 01:55
|
|
|
Blue Train posted:I dunno man I wouldn't call that abusive although it is not a good look. He deleted the show "Do what I say without question or you'll be punished."
|
|
#
?
Aug 15, 2017 01:57
|
|
|
Lol omg
|
|
#
?
Aug 15, 2017 01:57
|
|
|
When we talk about frogs in boiling water, that's the guy cranking up the flame. Out of the blue, he ordered her to do something demeaning, uncomfortable, and work-making for zero reason except sadism, and punished her when she didn't do it exactly how he wanted, and now the entire thing is her fault and she's untrustworthy and she should feel guilty and make it up to him. That dude is loving nuts. When you see a case of full-blown abuse, there are a ton of "she should have punched him in the teeth!!! what a dumbass, she should have left years ago!!!" comments, but then when there's a really really clear precursor like this it's "he's not a bad guy, he's just joking around, you're going to leave him for that??? omg so sensitive dumb princess"
|
|
#
?
Aug 15, 2017 01:57
|
|
i like nice words
|
Haifisch posted:Bleep bloop. I have good news, and I have bad news lol.
|
|
#
?
Aug 15, 2017 01:58
|
|
|
Anne Whateley posted:When we talk about frogs in boiling water, that's the guy cranking up the flame. Out of the blue, he ordered her to do something demeaning, uncomfortable, and work-making for zero reason except sadism, and punished her when she didn't do it exactly how he wanted, and now the entire thing is her fault and she's untrustworthy and she should feel guilty and make it up to him.
|
|
#
?
Aug 15, 2017 01:58
|
|
|
Dump weird water dude. Even if you don't think it's abusive, it's fuckin' weird.
|
|
#
?
Aug 15, 2017 01:59
|
|
|
It never ends up being a one-time thing, it ends up being the thing you say in group therapy ten years later like it's a half-remembered episode of Are You Afraid of the Dark, and you feel super uncomfortable about sharing, and then suddenly every other woman there has exactly the same story and you're like woah dang
|
|
#
?
Aug 15, 2017 02:02
|
|
|
Blue Train posted:I dunno man I wouldn't call that abusive although it is not a good look. He deleted the show he ain't whipping her with a belt buckle but this is either had-a-stroke level insane and he's about to burn the house down or it's him trying to 'subtly' break her will through some kind of door pattern assed operant conditioning scheme e: or yeah this Anne Whateley posted:When we talk about frogs in boiling water, that's the guy cranking up the flame. Out of the blue, he ordered her to do something demeaning, uncomfortable, and work-making for zero reason except sadism, and punished her when she didn't do it exactly how he wanted, and now the entire thing is her fault and she's untrustworthy and she should feel guilty and make it up to him.
|
|
#
?
Aug 15, 2017 02:04
|
|
|
fruit on the bottom posted:Dump weird water dude. Even if you don't think it's abusive, it's fuckin' weird. See I can get behind this like I said it's not a good look, I was mainly trying to point out overuse of abusive but here we are
|
|
#
?
Aug 15, 2017 02:06
|
|
|
Like ask yourself, do you really want to spend your life with a person sees that as a logical cause and effect? Of course not! Because ten years down the line he gets to "manhandle the yellow fish or the President dies" and it's clearly insane but you've tacitly accepted all the logical leaps up until now so legally you have no choice but to accept that his conclusion is sound and you have to make the choice about whether your going to molest a fish or become a terrorist and either way your bubbie is going to be disappointed in you
|
|
#
?
Aug 15, 2017 02:08
|
|
|
Tbf she points out over six years he's pulled similar poo poo jokingly so I would imagine over that span she'd have noticed other indicators were it actually an abusive relationship, this is a single incident and the "punishment" was deleting a show
|
|
#
?
Aug 15, 2017 02:11
|
|
|
Blue Train posted:Lol omg They are right. Do you think abuse is only physical contact?
|
|
#
?
Aug 15, 2017 02:12
|
|
|
I think the line is nowhere near deleted tv show
|
|
#
?
Aug 15, 2017 02:13
|
|
|
Yeah I am not surprised.
|
|
#
?
Aug 15, 2017 02:13
|
|
|
You haven't lived until your SO has performed some sort of dumbass self-invented personality test on you to determine whether or not you're just like daddy.
|
|
#
?
Aug 15, 2017 02:14
|
|
|
Blue Train posted:Tbf she points out over six years he's pulled similar poo poo jokingly so I would imagine over that span she'd have noticed other indicators were it actually an abusive relationship, this is a single incident and the "punishment" was deleting a show So he's done similar stuff before but escalated it to a new level? One that she would probably think was super crazy if she hadn't become accustomed to similar, but less extreme behavior?
|
|
#
?
Aug 15, 2017 02:15
|
|
|
fruit on the bottom posted:So he's done similar stuff before but escalated it to a new level? One that she would probably think was super crazy if she hadn't become accustomed to similar, but less extreme behavior? She also states that she reacted differently which presumably led him to react differently, once again I am not defending him but saying abusive is overreaching CharlestheHammer posted:Yeah I am not surprised. sick own bro
|
|
#
?
Aug 15, 2017 02:17
|
|
|
The reason it's only a dumb TV show is so he can go "lmao dummy it's only a TV show" and make her feel like she's some crazy overreacting bitch, she's the unreasonable one. That's the point.
|
|
#
?
Aug 15, 2017 02:18
|
|
|
What do you think abuse is? Like it seems you think that there has to be physical violence or something dumb like that.
|
|
#
?
Aug 15, 2017 02:19
|
|
|
Then I guess she better call the battered women's hotline and leave him tonight, which is a completely justified and reasonable reaction to him deleting the tv show they downloaded. If she doesn't she could be dead by morning
|
|
#
?
Aug 15, 2017 02:20
|
|
|
CharlestheHammer posted:What do you think abuse is? Like it seems you think that there has to be physical violence or something dumb like that. Hell man what do you think it is, I presume you think this qualifies so you tell me
|
|
#
?
Aug 15, 2017 02:21
|
|
|
Blue Train posted:Then I guess she better call the battered women's hotline and leave him tonight, which is a completely justified and reasonable reaction to him deleting the tv show they downloaded. If she doesn't she could be dead by morning The fact you are saying this sarcastically proves how dumb you are
|
|
#
?
Aug 15, 2017 02:21
|
|
|
Lol ok
|
|
#
?
Aug 15, 2017 02:22
|
|
|
Blue Train posted:She also states that she reacted differently which presumably led him to react differently, once again I am not defending him but saying abusive is overreaching
|
|
#
?
Aug 15, 2017 02:22
|
|
|
Blue Train posted:Hell man what do you think it is, I presume you think this qualifies so you tell me Forcing people to do something and punishing them like a child if they don't. What the consequences are doesn't matter.
|
|
#
?
Aug 15, 2017 02:22
|
|
|
It's not a reasonable reaction to deleting a TV show without all the other context. Breaking up is a reasonable reaction to all this poo poo: "He ordered her to do something demeaning, uncomfortable, and work-making for zero reason except sadism, and punished her when she didn't do it exactly how he wanted, and now the entire thing is her fault and she's untrustworthy and she should feel guilty and make it up to him." regardless of the punishment. All that is the abusive wow-this-is-going-to-escalate part. It wouldn't matter if the punishment was "now you don't get a star sticker for the day."
|
|
#
?
Aug 15, 2017 02:23
|
|
|
Blue Train posted:Hell man what do you think it is, I presume you think this qualifies so you tell me Jesus loving Christ you are the most retarded man alive do you understand what it takes to stand out for that, in this thread
|
|
#
?
Aug 15, 2017 02:23
|
|
|
And again, it doesn't have to be a crime or whatever. She's just got to think she'll be better off with someone else. That's all she's gotta think and she can leave whenever she likes. This is a good reason to think you can do better, you can find someone who isn't insane and punitive and controlling.
|
|
#
?
Aug 15, 2017 02:24
|
|
|
Blue Train has to be loving trolling because holy poo poo how can anyone be that stupid and not have a mod star
|
|
#
?
Aug 15, 2017 02:24
|
|
|
Yall mad as gently caress lol
|
|
#
?
Aug 15, 2017 02:25
|
|
|
Pick posted:And again, it doesn't have to be a crime or whatever. She's just got to think she'll be better off with someone else. That's all she's gotta think and she can leave whenever she likes. This is a good reason to think you can do better, you can find someone who isn't insane and punitive and controlling. I didn't say she can't leave and said what he did was not a good look just said it wasn't abusive hth
|
|
#
?
Aug 15, 2017 02:26
|
|
|
Blue Train posted:Yall mad as gently caress lol .....yes?
|
|
#
?
Aug 15, 2017 02:26
|
|
|
|
| # ? Jun 7, 2024 23:09 |
|
|
I may be dumb as gently caress but at least I am not mad online, the worst thing one could be.
|
|
#
?
Aug 15, 2017 02:27
|
|