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purple death ray
Jul 28, 2007

me omw 2 steal ur girl

Syd Midnight posted:

When it comes to good, creative long-form burns, I don't think anyone is ever gonna top g0m's "a thread in which every day Abe gets owned really hard".


(the links point to "abe if you clicked this link i swear to god you just got owned twice as hard" on pastebin)





















(the link led to an actual game just as he describes. He even made a mac port.)

edit: Abe is now demodded and g0m is writing for the front page, which should count towards the ownage total

This was so incredible

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FactsAreUseless
Feb 16, 2011

fruit on the bottom posted:

One of those styles is a lot more accessible to the mobile user than the other.

What I mean is I'm lazy
Sure, and that's fine. I phone-post too. But it's not an excuse to just say "cuck cuck im gay."

Facebook Aunt
Oct 4, 2008

wiggle wiggle




FactsAreUseless posted:

Sure, and that's fine. I phone-post too. But it's not an excuse to just say "cuck cuck im gay."

What if you are literally a chicken? And also gay.

Outrail
Jan 4, 2009

www.sapphicrobotica.com
:roboluv: :love: :roboluv:
Someone with talent who is funny needs to do a genesplicer mock thread.

Inexplicable Humblebrag
Sep 20, 2003

we've just described the reasons not to do long boring posts though

Lunchmeat Larry
Nov 3, 2012

Its honestly unfair to compare anyone to g0m to be honest

christmas boots
Oct 15, 2012

To these sing-alongs 🎤of siren 🧜🏻‍♀️songs
To oohs😮 to ahhs😱 to 👏big👏applause👏
With all of my 😡anger I scream🤬 and shout📢
🇺🇸America🦅, I love you 🥰but you're freaking 💦me 😳out
Biscuit Hider

Son of Thunderbeast posted:

Oh no, you might have to flick your thumb a couple times to scroll past a longer quote

perhaps lowtax should instate a character limit for posts. 140 seems reasonable

I meant writing the post. I'll read any long posts if they're good.

christmas boots
Oct 15, 2012

To these sing-alongs 🎤of siren 🧜🏻‍♀️songs
To oohs😮 to ahhs😱 to 👏big👏applause👏
With all of my 😡anger I scream🤬 and shout📢
🇺🇸America🦅, I love you 🥰but you're freaking 💦me 😳out
Biscuit Hider

FactsAreUseless posted:

Sure, and that's fine. I phone-post too. But it's not an excuse to just say "cuck cuck im gay."

my art isnt for everyone cuck cuck

Karate Bastard
Jul 31, 2007

Soiled Meat
"I deserve to go to hell and burn for all eternity", you think in a hillbilly accent. THE END. Good lord.

Trig Discipline
Jun 3, 2008

Please leave the room if you think this might offend you.
Grimey Drawer

Glenn Quebec posted:

Maybe we should go back to long posts so this idiot can learn to read. It's the difficulty of typing on a phone not the length of time of scrolling

Awful app should be dictation-only so we can watch mobile users call each other collapsible figs and forking retreads.

TehRedWheelbarrow
Mar 16, 2011



Fan of Britches

Trig Discipline posted:

Awful app should be dictation-only so we can watch mobile users call each other collapsible figs and forking retreads.

:yeah:

om nom nom
Jul 23, 2011

om nom nom nom nom nom nom
Grimey Drawer

Syd Midnight posted:



g0m posted:

Dear sir, your third warning for late payment has been issued one month ago today. As you know, this means we will drive the crane with a wrecking ball on it to your house and destroy it. We will also do donuts on your lawn to make the grass all hosed up, and if someone nails you with a brick they get $50. gently caress you.


Holy poo poo. I remember that thread being around, but I hadn't read any parts since then. Everything g0m posted is loving gold, I think that "text" is my favorite though.



A Moose
Oct 22, 2009



He could have died a hero, and instead he went on to write for the front page. Tragic, really. He ended up owning himself in the end.

SomeJazzyRat
Nov 2, 2012

Hmmm...
Shut up Abe.

Son of Thunderbeast
Sep 21, 2002

fruit on the bottom posted:

I meant writing the post. I'll read any long posts if they're good.

I think I assumed your complaint was the same as those from another thread where people were whining about quoted articles, so my bad.

GodspeedSphere
Apr 25, 2008
Holy gently caress SA roasts with gasoline.

funmanguy
Apr 20, 2006

What time is it?

Lunchmeat Larry posted:

Its honestly unfair to compare anyone to g0m to be honest

Honest truth right here.

I like long dumb posts, especially if they end with a really bad pun.

Field Mousepad
Mar 21, 2010
BAE

Outrail posted:

Someone with talent who is funny needs to do a genesplicer mock thread.

Whaaat? Genesplicer is rad.

Kruller
Feb 20, 2004

It's time to restore dignity to the Farnsworth name!


buttcrackmenace posted:

Not really surprising that he stuck around as long as he did.

Malachite_Dragon
Mar 31, 2010

Weaving Merry Christmas magic

Field Mousepad posted:

Whaaat? Genesplicer is rad.
:agreed:
Gensplicer is awesome and I will fight anyone who disagrees

tangy yet delightful
Sep 13, 2005



Malachite_Dragon posted:

:agreed:
Gensplicer is awesome and I will fight anyone who disagrees

He made awesome posts before he became a mod. Now I don't see him post and just hear other posters whine about his moderation choices. So while I have no opinion on the latter, I do miss the former.

I brought my Drake
Jul 10, 2014

These high-G injections have some serious side effects after pulling so many jumps.

SpartanIV posted:

I bought a sofa for my apartment that I'm finally starting to furnish proper. Next up are some side tables and curtains.



Knoll Salsa Settee for those interested

cyberia posted:

I respect the 'expensive doctor's waiting room' aesthetic you've got going on but how can you chill out with a sofa like that? Sofa's should be big enough that you can lie down or slouch on them and get comfortable when you're deep into a Netflix binge. That thing looks like what you sit on when you're awkwardly waiting for your prom date to come downstairs while her parents make small talk with you.

Magic Underwear posted:

To his credit, it does look like a great place to read the march issue of time magazine.

colas posted:

Please sign in, Dave will be with you shortly.

SpartanIV posted:

I'd invite you over to try it out but I don't accept Medicare.

bawk
Mar 31, 2013

Facebook Aunt posted:

What if you are literally a chicken? And also gay.

It's pretty good

Olive!
Mar 16, 2015

It's not a ghost, but probably a 'living corpse'. The 'living dead' with a hell of a lot of bloodlust...

idgi

syscall girl
Nov 7, 2009

by FactsAreUseless
Fun Shoe

tangy yet delightful posted:

He made awesome posts before he became a mod. Now I don't see him post and just hear other posters whine about his moderation choices. So while I have no opinion on the latter, I do miss the former.

I have no idea how he mods. I think I saw one of his in the leper's colony telling someone not to use "gay" as a pejorative or whatnot. So that's good.

He was a great poster but now he has evolved, and well, let's face it, he's a public school teacher so GBS deserves him.

Absurd Alhazred
Mar 27, 2010

by Athanatos

Who What Now posted:

"Here lies willie_dee
His gains were sick
And so was he"

canyoneer
Sep 13, 2005


I only have canyoneyes for you

3M makes a gazillion products, including Post-It notes, the Command series of adhesives and tapes, Scotch tape.

yeah actually they will
Aug 18, 2012

A Moose posted:

He could have died a hero, and instead he went on to write for the front page. Tragic, really. He ended up owning himself in the end.

I heard someone was talking poo poo about the front page... Mother fucker...

some plague rats
Jun 5, 2012

by Fluffdaddy
poo poo just got real

Son of Thunderbeast
Sep 21, 2002

yeah actually they will posted:

I heard someone was talking poo poo about the front page... Mother fucker...

This just made me realize, is "There's a front page?!" still bannable? I feel like the statute of limitations should've run out on that but you never know

Ghost Leviathan
Mar 2, 2017

Exploration is ill-advised.

Facebook Aunt posted:

What if you are literally a chicken? And also gay.

Whatever it is, we can be assured they like the cock.

Antivehicular
Dec 30, 2011


I wanna sing one for the cars
That are right now headed silent down the highway
And it's dark and there is nobody driving And something has got to give

For some reason, my favorite part of the Abe own thread is still "fell in a terlet :(". Poetic in its simplicity.

My second favorite part of the Abe own thread is that Abe posted a picture of himself as a teenager sitting on a fiberglass dolphin, as if to demonstrate that nobody could own him so thoroughly as his past self already had.

christmas boots
Oct 15, 2012

To these sing-alongs 🎤of siren 🧜🏻‍♀️songs
To oohs😮 to ahhs😱 to 👏big👏applause👏
With all of my 😡anger I scream🤬 and shout📢
🇺🇸America🦅, I love you 🥰but you're freaking 💦me 😳out
Biscuit Hider

syscall girl posted:

I have no idea how he mods. I think I saw one of his in the leper's colony telling someone not to use "gay" as a pejorative or whatnot. So that's good.

He was a great poster but now he has evolved, and well, let's face it, he's a public school teacher so GBS deserves him.

All I know is that a gay poster made a lighthearted, self-deprecating remark about being gay and they were probated for homophobia which seemed like an odd decision.

Karate Bastard
Jul 31, 2007

Soiled Meat

yeah actually they will posted:

I heard someone was talking poo poo about the front page... Mother fucker...

Hey you're that guy who still needs to step up their peek-a-boo game!

Lunchmeat Larry
Nov 3, 2012

Antivehicular posted:

For some reason, my favorite part of the Abe own thread is still "fell in a terlet :(". Poetic in its simplicity.


I still find myself saying "fell in a terlet" in a soft, mournful voice when I do something embarassing/stupid

cock hero flux
Apr 17, 2011



the best one is still definitely "abe bad"

Blue Footed Booby
Oct 4, 2006

got those happy feet

fruit on the bottom posted:

All I know is that a gay poster made a lighthearted, self-deprecating remark about being gay and they were probated for homophobia which seemed like an odd decision.

Mods don't know everyone's orientation and can be politely alerted to missteps via PM. vOv

Mycroft Holmes
Mar 26, 2010

by Azathoth

Lawrence Gilchrist posted:

poor Boxer, thought of Stalinism and died.

venus de lmao
Apr 30, 2007

Call me "pixeltits"

cock hero flux posted:

the best one is still definitely "abe bad"

bad abe, so what

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null_pointer
Nov 9, 2004

Center in, pull back. Stop. Track 45 right. Stop. Center and stop.

Lunchmeat Larry posted:

I still find myself saying "fell in a terlet" in a soft, mournful voice when I do something embarassing/stupid

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