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A SWEATY FATBEARD posted:I understand this much, but where do I even meet women? I've never really been "in the game" so to speak, so I'm totally lost on this one! Find one that is out foraging and follow it back to the hive
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Aug 14, 2017 21:04
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drat dude, you are definitely handsome. With some nicer clothes (I know those are work clothes) and a trim on the beard I think you could definitely find women who are attracted to you. Just probably don't tell them about all the drugs
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Aug 14, 2017 23:57
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I'd do you (female here).
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Aug 15, 2017 00:38
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compshateme85 posted:I'd do you (female here).  Well, I'm married, but I'd look twice.
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Aug 15, 2017 00:51
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compshateme85 posted:I'd do you (female here). You look eerily like my last boyfriend, so I feel like I already have.
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Aug 15, 2017 01:29
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Bobbie Wickham posted:You look eerily like my last boyfriend, so I feel like I already have. What if I shave off my beard? It adds twenty years to my appearance, but when I'm cleanly shaven I look like I'm 15 years old - I have a babby face. And where would I find a woman who'd be willing to take my virginity at this age, without pointing and laughing at me? It's not that I've been clumsily searching for a SO like Chris-chan, which is truly laughable, it's that I've never even tried the dating game - even though there were women who were madly in love with me, but I just didn't care. Hell, I don't even care about sex, I just want a hug. 
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Aug 15, 2017 02:37
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GAY 4 ORGANS
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A SWEATY FATBEARD posted:What if I shave off my beard? It adds twenty years to my appearance, but when I'm cleanly shaven I look like I'm 15 years old - I have a babby face. And where would I find a woman who'd be willing to take my virginity at this age, without pointing and laughing at me? It's not that I've been clumsily searching for a SO like Chris-chan, which is truly laughable, it's that I've never even tried the dating game - even though there were women who were madly in love with me, but I just didn't care. Just dont tell them and they wont think youre a virgin. Also I wouldnt lose the beard. Groom it, yes.
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Aug 15, 2017 02:43
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I second keeping the beard; it works for you. Groom that thing properly and you'll be fine--a soft, clean beard is nice. As for where to meet (nice, non-crazy) women, I have no idea. You're kind of like an exotic bird, and I can offer no advice that would be of use to such a creature.
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Aug 15, 2017 03:23
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Why would he want to meet non-crazy women? They'd have no use for each other.
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Aug 15, 2017 03:35
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i like nice words
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A SWEATY FATBEARD posted:What if I shave off my beard? Do it! What's the worst that can happen, waiting a few months for it to grow back? Personally I can't wait for the beard trend to go away. Why dudes wanna hide their handsomeness under a layer of hair, I don't get it. One of my coworkers had quite the beard going on, he trimmed it down super short and now he looks completely different, in a positive way.
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Aug 15, 2017 07:19
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Fat Albert in a can posted:Do it! What's the worst that can happen, waiting a few months for it to grow back? Okay! I shaved off the dog fur from my mug and just put the beard in the toilet bowl and flushed it. Only kept my trademark sideburns (back in the oven factory, everybody called me Elvis)  Is this better or worse than before?
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Aug 15, 2017 18:27
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Still cute.  Better without the sideburns, though, I'm afraid, though Croatian women's standards may differ.
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Aug 15, 2017 19:01
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A SWEATY FATBEARD posted:Okay! I shaved off the dog fur from my mug and just put the beard in the toilet bowl and flushed it. Only kept my trademark sideburns (back in the oven factory, everybody called me Elvis) Worse imo, you should trim your sideburns
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Aug 15, 2017 20:07
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The burns need serious trimming or the beard has to come back, though I'm a) a man b) not croatian so not exactly your target demographic. I liked the beard but I wouldn't worry too much about appearances anyway, you don't look bad at all. Where to meet women? Go out and do something, anything that involves other people. Make some more acquaintances or friends like mr. Weed and you're going to meet women at one point or another. Maybe one you like, even! You met the last nice chick reported itt dumper diving of all things so I have some faith in your social skills.
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Aug 15, 2017 20:08
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Shouldn't have flushed the beard
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Aug 15, 2017 20:23
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How about now? Trimmed the burns. Sorry for extremely poo poo picture quality, it was taken with a brickphone because I borrowed the camera to Mr. Weed and I didn't want to badger him at this hour just to take a picture of my face.  
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Aug 15, 2017 20:36
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Get rid of the sideburns!!!!
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Aug 15, 2017 20:38
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redreader posted:Get rid of the sideburns!!!! Oops, didn't see that. Yeah now you look like someone who plays a tough guy on TV or something. Looks way better without sideburns than with.
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Aug 15, 2017 20:39
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redreader posted:Get rid of the sideburns!!!! 
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Aug 15, 2017 20:47
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Sideburns look good actually, I like 'em.
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Aug 15, 2017 21:40
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A SWEATY FATBEARD posted:How about now? Trimmed the burns. Sorry for extremely poo poo picture quality, it was taken with a brickphone because I borrowed the camera to Mr. Weed and I didn't want to badger him at this hour just to take a picture of my face. Much better
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Aug 15, 2017 21:56
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Old Binsby posted:You met the last nice chick reported itt dumper diving of all things so I have some faith in your social skills. Ehh I had huge beer goggles on at the time, Vesna was in fact a skanky druggie who was looking for a meth hookup, intending to pay in secks for the drugs which makes her a run of the mill hooker. Funny thing, she's now badgering Mr. Weed for drugs but he doesn't want to have anything with her because he has some standards while Vesna has every STD known to man, and Mr. Weed doesn't need that in his life.  By the way, tomorrow is the fourth anniversary of the surgery which saved my life, when they took out one of my balls because of cancer. Man, how time flies! And how well I recovered - racked up 57 kilometers on the bike today.
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Aug 15, 2017 22:06
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A SWEATY FATBEARD posted:Okay! I shaved So that's what was hiding under there 🙂 This just my opinion, I think more conservative sideburns would be worth a try. But if they're your thing and you'd be more comfortable keeping them, maybe try a little shorter and closer trimmed. E: which you did. Looking good!
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Aug 16, 2017 01:13
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A SWEATY FATBEARD posted:Ehh I had huge beer goggles on at the time, Vesna was in fact a skanky druggie who was looking for a meth hookup, intending to pay in secks for the drugs which makes her a run of the mill hooker. Funny thing, she's now badgering Mr. Weed for drugs but he doesn't want to have anything with her because he has some standards while Vesna has every STD known to man, and Mr. Weed doesn't need that in his life. Is Vesna's nickname Proljece?
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Aug 16, 2017 01:38
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Doctor Malaver posted:Is Vesna's nickname Proljece? 
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Aug 16, 2017 02:46
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Doctor Malaver posted:Is Vesna's nickname Proljece? I have no idea - I was so drunk at the time that about the only thing I memorized about her is that she had dyed her hair blonde - and I more than likely wouldn't have recognized her if I saw her on the street today. The sentiment is probably mutual.
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Aug 16, 2017 10:22
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Welp misremembered that dumpster diving episode then, thought she was the doggo lady. The other part of my post still stands. Also the burns are much better now
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Aug 16, 2017 11:20
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A SWEATY FATBEARD posted:By the way, tomorrow is the fourth anniversary of the surgery which saved my life, when they took out one of my balls because of cancer. Man, how time flies! And how well I recovered - racked up 57 kilometers on the bike today.  Congratulations!I also think you have cleaned up well. 
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Aug 17, 2017 00:18
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Not at all what I imagined you would look like from reading this thread for the past year. You look drat fine here and scrub up real good! As for meeting women, I am no casanova but the usual ways: The Bar : Take Mr Weed to a trendy bar as a wing man, drink CONSERVATIVELY and just mingle with locals / regulars. Play a long game here and you should get to meet a girl eventually. Can be difficult if you suffer social anxiety. Online Dating : Note as taboo as it used to be and is incredibly common and a respectable way to meet suitors. Not sure on what Croatia has on offer but OKC and Tinder seem to be most popular in the western world. Singles Nights / Speed Dating : Can reek of desperation but they do exist for people in your situation, getting on in life with little dating experience and not sure of social etiquets. Thing to keep in mind here is everyone is as nervous as you at these events so try not to let the anxiety over run your thoughts. Answer some lonely hearts ad : 99% of the ads will be scams but its an option I guess. Main thing in all of this is to not oblitirate your mind on benzos or opiates when meeting / talking to women. Be yourself, no matter how crazy that sounds, no point hiding who you are of it will come out eventually, and remember, the man that asks 100 women on a date and goes on just 1 has still gone on 1 more date than the man that asked none. (Just dont get creepy and pushy)
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Aug 17, 2017 00:39
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A SWEATY FATBEARD posted:I have no idea - I was so drunk at the time that about the only thing I memorized about her is that she had dyed her hair blonde - and I more than likely wouldn't have recognized her if I saw her on the street today. The sentiment is probably mutual. That's not her then. BTW not sure what you mean by 'meth'. There was no crystal meth in Croatia last I checked. Maybe speed? It's amphetamine, not methamphetamine (which is meth).
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Aug 18, 2017 00:40
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Have you not ever found a woman in a dumpster? ps: You look fine, should grow the beard back if you have to keep the burns though.
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Aug 18, 2017 21:21
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Hey Fatbeard, if you're lonely, why not hang out with friends? Or why not make some?
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Aug 19, 2017 06:50
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Dance Officer posted:Hey Fatbeard, if you're lonely, why not hang out with friends? Or why not make some? I'm somewhat bummed out at the moment because I ran out of drugs and I'm parked at home with diarrhea, waiting for a refill which I'll get in a few days' time. Actually, I'm avoiding my friends these days because I'm in less than ideal mood. That being said, I have lots of friends and, as a friendly neighborhood hobo, it's incredibly easy for me to make new friends - I just have to step out of the house and you'll bet fifteen people will say hello to me and ask how I'm doing. And that's a wonderful thing. Now, what's bugging me a bit is that women immediately see me as a non-fuckable friend - and - you'll probably think that I'm gonna start pissing and moaning about the dreaded friend zone but no - I'm actually fine with that because my sex drive is close to nil and I'd be wasting everyone's time if I tried to get me a girlfriend. It's just that Mr. Weed is quite a ladies man, and it got me wondering the other day, "dammit dude, there ain't nothing wrong with you, so what the hell are you doing with your life?" I eventually came to a realization that I'm just not cut out for secks. The best I could do is have some sort of charity secks (orchestrated by Mr. Weed) but when you think about it, is that really something you should pine for? Really? Heh.  In the end, I JUST DON'T CARE. Sometimes I get myself wondering about these things and eventually come to a realization that I'm motivated only by jealousy ("dammit that guy can do it while I can't") and, as much as I hate using the word, I actually like being in the friend zone. After all is said and done, yeah, secks just ain't my thing. But at the same time, it sort of bugs me watching my life go by while I'm doing nothing. Not everyone is cut out for those things I suppose, and I'm one of them.
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Aug 19, 2017 08:56
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A SWEATY FATBEARD posted:...eventually come to a realization that I'm motivated only by jealousy ("dammit that guy can do it while I can't")... Not that it really matters given the English language is as flexible as an Asian contortionist, but you aren't jealous, you are envious. Jealousy is a worry that someone will take what you already have, envy is wanting what someone else has. One is just humanity being a dick thinking they own everything, the other is a deadly sin created by Christianity to stop the masses from asking "why does the church have a solid gold altar and cross while my family of 5 eat slop out of a wooden bowl?"
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Aug 20, 2017 15:38
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And don't feel bad for screwing that up, 80% of native speakers don't understand the difference either 
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Aug 20, 2017 17:13
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Yeah I didn't know that either  Also, how do you feel about this? https://np.reddit.com/r/croatia/comments/6us2pf/where_can_i_get_weed_in_biograd_na_moru_pls_pm_me/dluyew9/
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Aug 20, 2017 20:07
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I'm not gonna accept this new meaning of the word jealousy. Do you jerk off, Fatbeard?
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Aug 21, 2017 00:16
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Isn't ASF on a ton of opioids all the drat time? His Leydig cells are probably completely toast at this point. That being said you kinda look like a cool Balkan Elvis ASF. I'd keep the beard but maybe get some clippers and keep it at like 3cm long or something so it looks nice and groomed.
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Aug 21, 2017 00:19
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dpack_1 posted:Not that it really matters given the English language is as flexible as an Asian contortionist, but you aren't jealous, you are envious. Jealousy is a worry that someone will take what you already have, envy is wanting what someone else has. I learned a new thing today! SA also taught me that guitars have "strings" and not "wires", and that the snakes are "venomous" and not "poisonous", and a few other examples I can't recall at the moment. Xun posted:Also, how do you feel about this? https://np.reddit.com/r/croatia/comments/6us2pf/where_can_i_get_weed_in_biograd_na_moru_pls_pm_me/dluyew9/ ~the internet makes you stupid~ Tortuga posted:Do you jerk off, Fatbeard? I do - but maybe once or twice a week because it has turned into a chore. And even then I'm looking to get it over with as soon as possible and turn to something more productive. Moist von Lipwig posted:Isn't ASF on a ton of opioids all the drat time? His Leydig cells are probably completely toast at this point. I think you're on to something - "morning wood" to me is more of an exception than a rule. (I had to wiki up leydig cells) By the way, I solved the Biperiden problem - Mr. Weed is happy to hold my pills for me - and I've instructed him never to give me more than 10 pills a day and not to feed me after midnight. Therefore I've spent the last few days high as gently caress and managed NOT to trash anything in the house, which is a huge achievement. This is beyond the scope of this post, I'll probably write more about it later today.
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Aug 21, 2017 09:37
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Wait, if A SWEATY FATBEARD was flushed down the toilet, then who is posting now??? In all seriousness though, good luck to you on dating. It's challenging, even for the best of us. Just have a ton of patience and you'll get there. (Also I really liked the beard, but my opinion is irrelevant here.)
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Aug 21, 2017 11:43
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