quote:

We have been together for 19 years married for 16 and have three kids. I'm a stay at home mom and he has his own business. My dad was a verbally abusive alcoholic.

Husband is the nicest person ever sober, all his employees and family members love him, but when he drinks he is what you call a mean drunk. He calls me names sometimes, gets mad at random people, is unpleasant to be around and I hate sleeping next to him when he drinks because he acts like such an rear end in a top hat. He doesn't do it everyday but it's enough where I've gotten sick and tired of it.

So here's what happened, he got a new car and hit a guy on a motorcycle, he just hit the bike and did no harm to the guy but he drove off anyway. I picked him up and he started cursing the guy saying he's an rear end in a top hat and it was his fault and he hopes he hosed uo his bike. He also went to go gamble.

I couldn't believe my ears. Keep in mind he was so drunk he didn't even know if he killed the guy. He has gotten a lawyer and the police don't know he was driving drunk. The police came to our house but he left before they came. This happened at midnight and the only reason the police knew was because the distinctive car and that he went to go gamble at a nearby casino.

The guy isn't pressing charges but this did it for me. He didn't even know if he killed the guy and this could of been so much loving worse and he acts like it's no big deal. This man is the most generous, thoughtful guy before this.

I left the house and I'm with my mom. I told him I'm done with him. He has called me crying and begging for me to come back and telling me he'll change. That I mean the world to him and he couldn't stand living without me. It's so hard because I do love him but he was loving driving drunk and didn't care if he hurt the person which is completely not him. I don't know if he's depressed or if there's something wrong with him. I am so hurt right now, I actually feel like my heart hurts and I don't know what to do.

It was the scariest moment of my life. We didn't even know if he loving killed the guy. When sober he doesn't have a mean bone in his body to anybody. He is not acting like the man I married. All I was thinking about is if he killed the guy and the guy had a family and he just ruined their lives. Yet he was acting like he didn't care and I could believe it.

tl;dr: Husband keeps getting drunk and becomes mean. He just committed a hit and run against a guy and didn't care if he hurt him or his motorcycle. He is acting like its no big deal and I have left him. He's begging for me back, he is the love of my life when he's sober but I am so loving hurt and scared.

maskenfreiheit posted:

Me [38F] with my Husband [39M] keeps getting drunk and did something terrible so I left him. He's begging for me to come back, I love him but don't know what to doRelationships (self.relationships)

almightyerin posted:

quote:

I have always just for some reason liked the Alien franchise.

Blue Train posted:

moral orel is so good

Pick posted:

That's one of my favorite scenes in a visual media of all time. It's incredible.

WampaLord posted:

When I was 16, over the summer I banked up $3,000 by working at a call center. So it's not impossible for kids to have access to that kind of cash on their own.

Granted, I didn't go and blow 2/3rds of it on one purchase, but dumb teens gonna dumb teen.

food court bailiff posted:

Intruder posted:

Chad should have put his own career at risk by intentionally lying by omission about something that would probably be found out anyway if it's such a close knit industry rather than putting the incident into context and endorsing her for the position

quote:

My fiancé got t-boned at an intersection and as a result both of his forearms have fractures. Initially, we thought he'd need surgery but it turns out he probably doesn't. He's supposed to recover in 18-20 weeks (with physical therapy).

Right now, both arms are in casts. So for the next several weeks, he's completely dependent. He can't work, he can't eat by himself, and he needs a lot of help with the bathroom and everything hygiene-related.

During the day, his mom (who's retired) helps out. I get home in the evening and I take over. But he gets really irritable with me. He snaps at me about nothing all the time and he never used to do that.

We're only 2.5 weeks into this and it's pretty bad. Sometimes he outright refuses to eat dinner (He doesn't give a reason beyond "I don't want it" but I think it's because he doesn't want to be spoon fed by me).

He also has made a complete mess in the bathroom twice because he was convinced he could pee on his own when it's obvious that he can't. The first time the bathroom thing happened, I said nothing and just cleaned it. The second time I woke up and saw a mess and asked why he didn't just why he kept doing this and why he couldn't just wake me up. He then yelled at me and told me to just go to work and he'd handle the clean up himself. (I wasn't going to do that because he can't clean and I wasn't about to let the mess sit until his mom came).

I spoke to my future MIL about some of this and asked if my fiancé gets grouchy with her too during the day when she's taking care of him. She said he's not grouchy. But she also explained how he acts sort of childlike during the day with her, like asking her to sit and read things out loud for him.

Anyway that made me feel even worse. I was initially thinking he's just angry because he's injured but now it seems like he's annoyed with me personally and not just the situation.

So I'm now wondering if I should just stop trying to take care of him, since he seems to actually hate it. I could ask my MIL to stay with us--I'm sure she would agree (my fiancé is the oldest/only son and sort of the undeclared favorite). BUT I hate to burden her even more and feel sort of embarrassed it's come to this.

I could also hire a nurse for evenings. A nurse would be expensive, but we could probably afford it if necessary.

But in either scenario, I sort of feel like a horrible partner for just giving up. I spoke to my fiancé about this and he actually said it makes no difference to him because he'll be miserable regardless until he gets better.

So I'm looking for advice on what to do.

tldr-- Fiancé is badly injured and seems to hate me taking care of him, but doesn't mind his mom. I want to be there for him, but he's making me miserable with his attitude and seems to actively be trying to make this situation more difficult for me and for himself. Don't know if I should continue to push through this, let my MIL take over, or break down and hire a nurse for the evenings.

quote:

LTL FTP All that jazz.

We got married less than a month ago, and have been together for just over a year. We used to have pretty frequent sex, 2 to 3 times a week. It's gone down to about twice a month. He claims it's because his sex drive has gone down since he's reached his late 20s. On the flip side of that he definitely masturbates. Despite the fact that he tells me how pretty and sexy I am all the time, it makes me feel ugly and numb. I'd never do anything outside the marriage and I love him like I never thought I could love another person. But this is putting a strain on our marriage. We've discussed it and fought over it too many times to count. I'm lost guys.

TL;DR My husband doesn't want sex but masturbates a ton.

Ham Sandwiches posted:

Fiancé (33M) broke both forearms in an accident and is fully dependent. But he's very resistant to being cared for by me (29F) and I'm not sure how to cope with how he's acting.

they found the real life little foot, long foot guy

WampaLord posted:

When I was 16, over the summer I banked up $3,000 by working at a call center. So it's not impossible for kids to have access to that kind of cash on their own.

Granted, I didn't go and blow 2/3rds of it on one purchase, but dumb teens gonna dumb teen.

WampaLord posted:

Oh god, it's Hank's arc from Breaking Bad and she's Marie.

Poor thing. There's a whole dumb mindset behind "I don't want to be cared for!" that definitely has its roots in toxic masculinity.

Ham Sandwiches posted:

Fiancé (33M) broke both forearms in an accident and is fully dependent. But he's very resistant to being cared for by me (29F) and I'm not sure how to cope with how he's acting.


they found the real life little foot, long foot guy

quote:

Okay, so Ill try to keep this as short as possible. My anxiety riddled brain is doing somersaults as I'm trying to write this out. Basically, my partner works for a small company, and his co worker is an abusive douchebag (we'll call him Tom). Verbally, mentally etc. I can hear him being condescending and rude to him over calls, putting him down for small poo poo, meanwhile Tom is a total slacker, and leaves most of the work to my SO, and then gets angry at him when deadlines aren't met.

We both agree hes being taken advantage of in this situation, but my SO is very professional about it, and takes it. I know its hard to not think that I am being biased here, but I assure you this is not the case. I'm a pretty level headed person, though I realize this wasn't a very level headed move, I suppose that gives you an idea of how ridiculous this situation even is. It wears him down almost constantly. It causes problems in our relationship because of how run down he is (he acknowledges this fully). He wakes up and basically hates his life (hes been making plans to look for other work).

He went away for the weekend, and left his work chat client open, and long story short, I drank a bit, and decided to respond to the aggro msgs Tom left, by saying his behaviour is more or less out of line, called him out on his bullying, etc. Then immediately regretted my decision. Tom did reply, and he didn't really hold back on being a douche to me either. All in all, I know I stepped out of bounds, but my heart was in the right place. I have no contact with my SO until he gets back into the city on Sunday, and I'm freaking the gently caress out. I guess I don't really know what I'm asking for here, maybe some opinions or similar experiences. I know I'm in the wrong here, but has anyone else been through this and recovered?

EDIT: judging by how well I know my SO he's going to be upset with me, but at the same time, Ive kinda just said what we've both been ranting about for ages.. so I'm not quite sure. Please send help.

Inescapable Duck posted:

Going from being perfectly able to totally dependent on another human being literally to feed yourself, piss and wipe your butt has to be pretty drat miserable however you slice it. I doubt I'd be much better in that situation, just breaking one arm was a pain. At least he'll probably be fine once he recovers, and it's not permanent.

Ham Sandwiches posted:

OK finally a good one!!

Me [29 F] with my [27 M] of almost 2 years, he constantly complains about how miserable his co worker [M 30s] makes him (who happens to be his superior), and today I confronted him


Well gee lady do you think it MIGHT be a problem!!!

Ham Sandwiches posted:

OK finally a good one!!

Me [29 F] with my [27 M] of almost 2 years, he constantly complains about how miserable his co worker [M 30s] makes him (who happens to be his superior), and today I confronted him


Well gee lady do you think it MIGHT be a problem!!!

Blue Train posted:

I could never gently caress someone after they wiped my rear end, tbh

Ham Sandwiches posted:

OK finally a good one!!

Me [29 F] with my [27 M] of almost 2 years, he constantly complains about how miserable his co worker [M 30s] makes him (who happens to be his superior), and today I confronted him


Well gee lady do you think it MIGHT be a problem!!!

quote:

u/Thundernut
So I have a safe that I keep my money, weed, and prescription meds in because that's where I like to keep my stuff. We have been on and off together for 4 years now. My girlfriend and I live together and constantly argues with me about how I don't trust her because I keep those items in my safe. She has a history of stealing and taking my medication, so I bought a safe to keep it all in. She complains that I don't trust her, and that our relationship is at a different point than it was when she was stealing things. I tried to explain to her it's my stuff and that's where I want to keep it, it's not ours, it's not hers, it's mine and I want it locked up in the safe. So last night she started up again and tried to get me to take the weed and meds out and I said absolutely not. So she started to get upset and saying she's going to move out. I said I'd your going to move out just because I like to keep my stuff locked up then please go because this isn't going to work if you are that upset over this. To which she replies "I'm just going to go kill myself". Am I wrong for wanting to keep my things in safe keeping? I'm trying to prevent a problem and she keeps wanting to make one.

Tl;Dr: I have a safe I keep my money weed and prescription pills in, girlfriend wants them out as a "trust" factor. I decline to do so.

Milotic posted:

Imprisoned by good pussy is the only explanation I have:

M(29), F(23) I have keep my things in a safe and girlfriend of 4 years doesn't like it.

maskenfreiheit posted:

Unfortunately due to a recent court case in Massachusetts OP can't tell her to go ahead and do it

Milotic posted:

Imprisoned by good pussy is the only explanation I have:

M(29), F(23) I have keep my things in a safe and girlfriend of 4 years doesn't like it.

Milotic posted:

Imprisoned by good pussy is the only explanation I have:

M(29), F(23) I have keep my things in a safe and girlfriend of 4 years doesn't like it.

Pick posted:

That's one of my favorite scenes in a visual media of all time. It's incredible.