Anonymous Confessions: I had an extremely weird dream that's going to become relevant

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Solice Kirsk: Jun 1, 2004; .

Ha, that bag poo poo story reminds me of one of my friends.

So he's a teacher in a pretty bad school in Chicago and they went on lockdown because a kid brought a gun (or a knife, can't remember) into school and said the rest of his gang had them too. So they locked everything down while they rounded up these kids to check them. Well, my buddy was in his classroom alone because it all happened during his lunch or something and he had to take a poo poo, but wasn't allowed to leave his classroom. Long story short, he pulled a garbage can into the closet and took a poo poo into it.

# ? Aug 18, 2017 13:45

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# ? May 10, 2024 13:17

Jose: Jul 24, 2007; Adrian Chiles is a broadcaster and writer

loquacius posted:

e: wait nvm I just looked it up and he's talking about Mooch's replacement Hope Hicks who I think must have been picked specifically because she is hot as hell, because there's not a whole lot of other reasons to hire a 28-year-old as WH communications director.

shes one of the first people he hired when he started campaigning

# ? Aug 18, 2017 13:52

Theophany: Jul 22, 2014; SUCCHIAMI IL MIO CAZZO DA DIETRO, RANA RAGAZZO

2022 FIA Formula 1 WDC

# ? Aug 18, 2017 14:08

Crab Dad: Dec 28, 2002; behold i have tempered and refined thee, but not as silver; as CRAB

Jose posted:

shes one of the first people he hired when he started campaigning

I hear that was a golden opportunity for her and she pissed off a lot people when she got the job.

# ? Aug 18, 2017 15:10

DandyLion: Jun 24, 2010; disrespectul Deciever

Solice Kirsk posted:

Ha, that bag poo poo story reminds me of one of my friends.

So he's a teacher in a pretty bad school in Chicago and they went on lockdown because a kid brought a gun (or a knife, can't remember) into school and said the rest of his gang had them too. So they locked everything down while they rounded up these kids to check them. Well, my buddy was in his classroom alone because it all happened during his lunch or something and he had to take a poo poo, but wasn't allowed to leave his classroom. Long story short, he pulled a garbage can into the closet and took a poo poo into it.

What a clever use of a lockdown to disguise his trash-making GBS threads fetish

# ? Aug 18, 2017 16:04

mfcrocker: Jan 31, 2004; Hot Rope Guy

dang, that's the good poo poo (sorry) that I come to the fesh thread for

# ? Aug 18, 2017 16:13

Nissin Cup Nudist: Sep 3, 2011; Sleep with one eye open

We're off to Gritty Gritty land

Reminder that Hope Hicks' dad was the one that covered up a bunch of concussion data for the NFL

# ? Aug 18, 2017 16:17

WampaLord: Jan 14, 2010

loquacius posted:

You watch your mouth, that's Mike Huckabee's daughter

e: wait nvm I just looked it up and he's talking about Mooch's replacement Hope Hicks who I think must have been picked specifically because she is hot as hell, because there's not a whole lot of other reasons to hire a 28-year-old as WH communications director.

She was the one doing his campaign tweets for him. Like he'd say what he'd want to tweet and she'd type it into Twitter. She was literally just a campaign intern, essentially.

Now she's White House Communications Director.

:psyduck:

# ? Aug 18, 2017 16:21

Solice Kirsk: Jun 1, 2004; .

Being good looking never hurts your options.

# ? Aug 18, 2017 18:50

number one pta fan: Sep 6, 2011; my work is my play play
every day pay day

Negative Thoughts Person. I had a problem with intrusive, imperative suicidal thoughts that typically sprung out of self-judgement brought up through social circumstances. I took antidepressants and had a bunch of therapy but I was still falling deeper into the void. Suicide felt like a rational and self-serving acceptance of my unfixable circumstances, not a violent outburst. I developed a similar mistrust of medical professionals for a long time.

Against my will I spent some time with medical professionals. A Psychiatrist gave me non-antidepressant medication that suppressed whatever urge was telling me to kill myself and freed up my time and resources to set about improving my circumstances. I have ongoing appointments with therapists, one of whom told me that therapy was something you do for yourself and a therapist just supervises for a few months at a time. I meet them each week but the therapy is reconstructing my life, re-establishing peer relationships, pursuing constructive ends, thinking about my experiences, etc. which I do mostly in the 167 hours a week I'm not sat with a therapist.

Consider it. You've got an illness and medical professionals won't cure it straight up but even a mediocre one should be able to get you out of your own way and back on track. I hope you feel better one day soon. Until then, have you considered channelling your pain into killing or maiming white supremacists?

Bag poo poo Person. You sound awesome. I have a friend who shat in a Pringles can for similar reasons. I also know somebody who poo poo themselves while drinking and threw the poo poo-caked underwear on the roof of the holiday chalet they were staying in. They actually landed on the front porch, he walked straight past them and was process-of-elimination confronted the morning after.

number one pta fan fucked around with this message at 21:34 on Aug 18, 2017

# ? Aug 18, 2017 21:31

Rumda: Nov 4, 2009; Moth Lesbian Comrade

LingcodKilla posted:

I hear that was a golden opportunity for her and she pissed off a lot people when she got the job.

Well she probably pissed on people to get the job.

# ? Aug 18, 2017 21:59

Jose: Jul 24, 2007; Adrian Chiles is a broadcaster and writer

Solice Kirsk posted:

Being good looking never hurts your options.

shes realised the only thing don cares about is not upsetting his ego

# ? Aug 18, 2017 22:01

Rumda: Nov 4, 2009; Moth Lesbian Comrade

Also she's younger than I am which is depressing on several levels.

# ? Aug 18, 2017 22:07

RFC2324: Jun 7, 2012; http 418

Rumda posted:

Also she's younger than I am which is depressing on several levels.

You need to practice sucking dick more, thats all.

# ? Aug 18, 2017 22:11

syscall girl: Nov 7, 2009; by FactsAreUseless; Fun Shoe

Rumda posted:

Also she's younger than I am which is depressing on several levels.

Once NFL top picks and leading men in movies start being younger than you it's all downhill

With women, doubly so

# ? Aug 18, 2017 22:13

Jose: Jul 24, 2007; Adrian Chiles is a broadcaster and writer

its time for nihilism then

# ? Aug 18, 2017 22:13

Nocheez: Sep 5, 2000; Can you spare a little cheddar?; Nap Ghost

number one pta fan posted:

Until then, have you considered channelling your pain into killing or maiming white supremacists?

Lemons into lemonade!

# ? Aug 18, 2017 22:25

ReidRansom: Oct 25, 2004

loquacius posted:

e: wait nvm I just looked it up and he's talking about Mooch's replacement Hope Hicks who I think must have been picked specifically because she is hot as hell, because there's not a whole lot of other reasons to hire a 28-year-old as WH communications director.

I recall reading somewhere that her nickname at school was Hopeless.

The teachers called her that. Privately, of course. She is dumb. Very pretty (I think she was a model for Ralph Lauren or something), but also very dumb.

# ? Aug 19, 2017 03:49

got any sevens: Feb 9, 2013; by Cyrano4747

number one pta fan posted:

Negative Thoughts Person. I had a problem with intrusive, imperative suicidal thoughts that typically sprung out of self-judgement brought up through social circumstances. I took antidepressants and had a bunch of therapy but I was still falling deeper into the void. Suicide felt like a rational and self-serving acceptance of my unfixable circumstances, not a violent outburst. I developed a similar mistrust of medical professionals for a long time.

Against my will I spent some time with medical professionals. A Psychiatrist gave me non-antidepressant medication that suppressed whatever urge was telling me to kill myself and freed up my time and resources to set about improving my circumstances. I have ongoing appointments with therapists, one of whom told me that therapy was something you do for yourself and a therapist just supervises for a few months at a time. I meet them each week but the therapy is reconstructing my life, re-establishing peer relationships, pursuing constructive ends, thinking about my experiences, etc. which I do mostly in the 167 hours a week I'm not sat with a therapist.

Consider it. You've got an illness and medical professionals won't cure it straight up but even a mediocre one should be able to get you out of your own way and back on track. I hope you feel better one day soon. Until then, have you considered channelling your pain into killing or maiming white supremacists?

Bag poo poo Person. You sound awesome. I have a friend who shat in a Pringles can for similar reasons. I also know somebody who poo poo themselves while drinking and threw the poo poo-caked underwear on the roof of the holiday chalet they were staying in. They actually landed on the front porch, he walked straight past them and was process-of-elimination confronted the morning after.

Whats wrong with suicidal thoughts?

# ? Aug 19, 2017 03:52

RFC2324: Jun 7, 2012; http 418

ReidRansom posted:

I recall reading somewhere that her nickname at school was Hopeless.

The teachers called her that. Privately, of course. She is dumb. Very pretty (I think she was a model for Ralph Lauren or something), but also very dumb.

Sure it wasn't for Hugo Boss?

# ? Aug 19, 2017 04:20

Solice Kirsk: Jun 1, 2004; .

got any sevens posted:

Whats wrong with suicidal thoughts?

Lack of originality. But this kid knew what was up:

http://imgur.com/a/Z5mEB

# ? Aug 19, 2017 04:34

Crab Dad: Dec 28, 2002; behold i have tempered and refined thee, but not as silver; as CRAB

RFC2324 posted:

Sure it wasn't for Hugo Boss?

Don't be stupid,

Be a smarty!

# ? Aug 19, 2017 08:42

loquacius: Oct 21, 2008

quote:

I make fake profiles on dating apps such as Tinder and intentionally like ugly women, and when I get a match I verbally abuse them. It's like a little hobby I have. Just helps me release stress, I don't really know how it even started. Sometimes it's almost some sort of art; I try to not repeat insults and burns, therefore I have to be very creative.

The next step is to physically meet with them and verbally abuse them in person, which I will do this weekend lol.

are you like a villain from a high-school teen-drama movie or what

I'm Internet-diagnosing you with very poor self-esteem and you should take some time to work on you and leave poor lonely Tinder ladies alone

Anyway be careful you might find someone with a fetish for this and then what'll you do

quote:

Every time I read these confessions I read them in the voice of Abedisi from OZ.

Sometimes as Bleecher but thats because of "PLEASE SIR MAY I gently caress MY WIFE?" which would lead Bleecher to kill the white supremacist near the end of the show.

Can the confession goons tell us stories that revolve around OZ? Except pedophile confession goon, I hope he gets hit by the Final Destination 1 bus.

I don't get this reference but this was the only one left in the queue so

# ? Aug 19, 2017 13:40

TehRedWheelbarrow: Mar 16, 2011; Fan of Britches

anon 1, thats what the forums are for, quit being a :flaccid:

weener.

# ? Aug 19, 2017 13:43

tangy yet delightful: Sep 13, 2005

Piss and poo poo girl has to be fake because no way you needed to piss and poo poo that bad but somehow held in your poo poo while you pissed first.

# ? Aug 19, 2017 13:56

Solice Kirsk: Jun 1, 2004; .

tangy yet delightful posted:

Piss and poo poo girl has to be fake because no way you needed to piss and poo poo that bad but somehow held in your poo poo while you pissed first.

This is the no nonsense critical thinking that used to make GBS great.

# ? Aug 19, 2017 14:11

The Mighty Moltres: Dec 21, 2012; Come! We must fly!

Mods , please change my name to "the piss shits" TIA

# ? Aug 19, 2017 14:11

Police Automaton: Mar 17, 2009; "You are standing in a thread. Someone has made an insightful post."
LOOK AT insightful post
"It's a pretty good post."
HATE post
"I don't understand"
SHIT ON post
"You shit on the post. Why."

tinder goon in six years: " I married that uggo and had two kids with her this is the best prank ever lmao"

# ? Aug 19, 2017 16:45

Marmaduke!: May 19, 2009; Why would it do that!?

sneakyfrog posted:

anon 1, thats what the forums are for, quit being a weener.

Non-anonymous confession: in order to get animated smilies to animate on the app, you have to tap the image. It's not very responsive, so I just spent far too long tapping your limp dick trying to get it to react.

# ? Aug 19, 2017 18:25

A Strange Aeon: Mar 26, 2010; You are now a slimy little toad; The Great Twist

Marmaduke! posted:

Non-anonymous confession: in order to get animated smilies to animate on the app, you have to tap the image. It's not very responsive, so I just spent far too long tapping your limp dick trying to get it to react.

poo poo, I didn't know that and just did the same thing!

# ? Aug 19, 2017 22:50

WampaLord: Jan 14, 2010

Marmaduke! posted:

Non-anonymous confession: in order to get animated smilies to animate on the app, you have to tap the image. It's not very responsive, so I just spent far too long tapping your limp dick trying to get it to react.

There's a setting you can change to make them animate automatically.

# ? Aug 19, 2017 22:54

Marmaduke!: May 19, 2009; Why would it do that!?

I know that, I have animations off because I don't always want GIFs to play. But I can't just not see a flaccid wang and not see if it should be working, I'm only human.

# ? Aug 20, 2017 00:10

TehRedWheelbarrow: Mar 16, 2011; Fan of Britches

Marmaduke! posted:

Non-anonymous confession: in order to get animated smilies to animate on the app, you have to tap the image. It's not very responsive, so I just spent far too long tapping your limp dick trying to get it to react.

My limp weener appreciates the attention friend.

# ? Aug 20, 2017 13:14

OhAreThey: Oct 12, 2012; I like your nurse's uniform, guy.

More feshes please.

# ? Aug 22, 2017 18:02

loquacius: Oct 21, 2008

OhAreThey posted:

More feshes please.

For the past several days this is all I've had in the queue

quote:

Look, let's just be real here. Black pussy is the best pussy out there.

and it didn't seem worth posting for by itself :shrug:

C'mon man, you gotta explain yourself. Expand on that. Show your work.

Also, other people should send in more material, I'm dyin' out here

# ? Aug 22, 2017 18:22

wesleywillis: Dec 30, 2016; SUCK A MALE CAMEL'S DICK WITH MIRACLE WHIP!!

Any feshes you rejected as being to outrageous or whatever? Did they get deleted? We need to keep this going for a bit to see if Therapy goon is still breathing.

# ? Aug 23, 2017 11:46