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Haifisch posted:You mean that's not all of your social interactions?? Of course not. ...90%, max. POOL IS CLOSED posted:But now you can!!! Definitely looking forward to it, by which I mean voting for basically anyone else. Coffee Dad seems cool.
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Aug 16, 2017 02:13
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idonotlikepeas posted:Definitely looking forward to it, by which I mean voting for basically anyone else. Even the guy with the Stepford children of the corn? Are you sure? idonotlikepeas posted:Coffee Dad seems cool. That's more like it.
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Aug 16, 2017 02:34
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Maybe the little Josephlings are just shy!
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Aug 16, 2017 03:32
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I'm experimenting with recording the game with Audacity. Hopefully I'll be able to add in the rest of the music soon-ish!
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Aug 16, 2017 16:00
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 Dad Tip #2: It's never too early to invest in a personal IRA.  ???: "John! Bro!"   "Craig?" "Bro." "Bro."Holy... wow. I haven't seen Craig in forever.  "It's been too long, dude." "Yeah wow, you look great!" "Haha, yeah, I cleaned up my act."Cleaned up his act? Are you kidding me? He's ripped.  "Amanda! Dude! You probably don't remember me but you're so big now!" "Hello! And hello, cute baby!" "Aw, thank you. The last time I saw you I think you were about her size. This is River. Say hi, River." "Are you... babysitting?" "Nah dude, River's my kid." "Man, it HAS been a long time. Feels like one minute we're rolling up to exams with bad hangovers and the next we're both Fathers. Where ya been, man?"I don't know why that was capitalized.  "No kidding! Amanda and I just moved to this side of town."How's Smashley doing? I mean Ashley. Ashley is her name."  "She actually still goes by Smashley. And uhhh, we got divorced last year." "Oh. Dude. I'm so sorry." "It's old news. We take turns taking care of River and the twins. It's all copacetic." "Twins!? You have three kids?" "Ain't life something, bro? Right?" "Keg-Stand Craig?" "Oh, haha yeah it was my old college nickname." "He got it because he did a lot of Keg-stands."The proofreading starts really slipping here. "It's that thing where you do a handstand on a keg and then drink from the keg." "Right." "He was very good at it." "Ah bro, I hate to be that guy, but I'm in the middle of my daily jog and I really gotta keep up my heart rate. Brought River along for, you know, resistance training." "You jog daily? I jog... yearly." "Well it's never too late to get back into it, dude! You should join me sometime." "Haha, I don't know..." "Come on, it'd be fun. We could grab breakfast afterwards, catch up. We could do a Bro Brunch like the good ol' days." "All right, sure. Sounds great." "Great, let's get that going soon. I better get moving. Good to see you guys!"Craig gives a little wave, puts his earbuds back in, and jogs off. "I can't believe Craig is ripped and has kids. I'm reeling." "The Craig I knew is not fit to be responsible for any living thing, including and especially himself. One time I watched him drink an entire jar of marinara sauce for dinner. Amanda. He opened up a new jar of marinara sauce and then he drank it like it was a thing that normal people do. It was unholy. And then I asked him what the hell he was doing, and he said, and I quote, "It's basically a smoothie, bro."" "I mean technically... he's not wrong?" "He jogs! He was jogging! He's like a totally different person."Anyway. We better get home. I'll have plenty of time to reflect on how old I feel later."  Next time: ...The further adventures of Kim Jong Dad. Three is also a perfectly normal number of kids to have, y'know. Our bro Craig can probably fit into the "old friends" romantic trope, though not quite into boy next door/childhood friends. Now that we've met our tech bro dad, we've only got a few more potential dream daddies to go!
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Aug 19, 2017 19:22
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Thread, tonight are we: A. Secretly the town mayor, B. Going to attend a union meeting, or C. Going clubbing?
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Aug 19, 2017 19:43
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B. Goondad may be weird, but presumably if he's new to the area it was for a job.
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Aug 19, 2017 19:53
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C. The title of Kegstand is up for grabs!
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Aug 19, 2017 19:54
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B, Solidarity! 
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Aug 19, 2017 19:54
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But what if we were just kidding? Will we: A. Stay in? B. Go out and watch the game? (SOLIDARITY!  )
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Aug 19, 2017 19:58
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B. I've always had the impression watching The Game is just something dads do. Also, I'm not entirely convinced Fathers being capitalized is a typo.
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Aug 19, 2017 21:24
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What would we ever accomplish by staying in? Go out.
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Aug 19, 2017 21:33
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No option to anxiously consider the options like the fate of the world was on the line, giving up and stuffing his face with ice cream? For shame!
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Aug 19, 2017 21:47
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B! Also, I love that River has her own 'talksprites' independant of Craig's facial expression. What a cute baby.
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Aug 19, 2017 21:47
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Horrible Lurkbeast posted:No option to anxiously consider the options like the fate of the world was on the line, giving up and stuffing his face with ice cream? For shame! That would be too real, friend. PetraCore posted:Also, I love that River has her own 'talksprites' independant of Craig's facial expression. What a cute baby. She is super adorable. I'm considering parenthood in the near future and uuuuugh BABY MADNESS.
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Aug 19, 2017 21:52
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POOL IS CLOSED posted:She is super adorable. I'm considering parenthood in the near future and uuuuugh BABY MADNESS.
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Aug 19, 2017 22:07
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B: Go out for the night. What are you, some NEET? Actually...Goonpops might be a NEET. Does he even lift?
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Aug 19, 2017 23:06
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A. This is a goon dad, going outside to have fun is foreign to him.
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Aug 19, 2017 23:43
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GoonDad is obviously way too socially anxious to be able to handle any more interaction with other human beings today. A: Stay in.
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Aug 19, 2017 23:53
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POOL IS CLOSED posted:That would be too real, friend. Ever since my kid was born, I have become pro-"snuggle every baby everywhere and everywhen". Which is a rather stark contrast to pre-baby me
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Aug 20, 2017 04:19
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B. Are we comrades or are we comrades?
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Aug 20, 2017 04:21
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Being a parent is super bad like 90% of the time and the other 10% of the time you're like yeah alright I can do this, this is okay Also B, go out, your kis can look after herself probably, run free
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Aug 20, 2017 05:49
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B Like all dads he must participate in the great migration to watch the sportsball.
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Aug 20, 2017 05:50
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I've been abroad for a while and am catching up. Thanks to the coffee shop update, I read this with Die Antwoord as a soundtrack. Weirdly enough, it fits quite well!
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Aug 20, 2017 10:10
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I had an experience with both sportball and babies yesterday and I will not give an opinion
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Aug 20, 2017 17:07
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Haifisch posted:A. This is a goon dad, going outside to have fun is foreign to him. I fully agree. A it is.
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Aug 20, 2017 17:24
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Staying home doesn't track with who he's been so far. B it is.
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Aug 20, 2017 17:26
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Sjs00 posted:I had an experience with both sportball and babies yesterday and I will not give an opinion Now I'm really curious. The last baby story I read on this dead comedy forum was about someone's baby filling their tiny baby hat with foul poo.
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Aug 20, 2017 18:16
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I went to the local minor league baseball game with my cousin and his family yesterday; which is totally against my nature. I really don't like loud sporting events with lots of personalities crammed into one place and generally was not very into it. So that wasn't great. We stayed until about 7:30 and had a 40+ minute drive back with two kids in the car, one of them less than 4 months old. Me and my cousin have had lots of conversations about raising kids; and the stress associated with the incessant bleating the little monsters are capable of. It was not an experience I care to relive, but a basic understanding went a long way to mitigating the situation. Basically tots like that adhere to an even stricter sleep schedule than everyone else; keep them out later than that and no amount of food, coddling, music, or what else can keep them happy; they want sleep and they want it immediately. So, to bring it back on topic; I am really interested in this Craig-route because it has potential to expose our character to the realities of baby-raising; an incredibly demanding and stressful and real thing. But its probably gonna be solved in the hand-wavy sunglasses option; which while amusing, is not a solution. I don't think. I've never tried it. Crane Fist posted:Being a parent is super bad like 90% of the time and the other 10% of the time you're like yeah alright I can do this, this is okay Totally agree. My cuz' and his wife are still relatively new parents and are exhausted constantly. They have those moments of awesome and I get the fuzzy feelings whenever I'm present; but like I said. Babies are loud. It really is a mystery why we can't resist the urge to procreate when its so painful most of the time. And men don't even give birth lmao
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Aug 20, 2017 19:04
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POOL IS CLOSED posted:Now I'm really curious. The last baby story I read on this dead comedy forum was about someone's baby filling their tiny baby hat with foul poo.
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Aug 20, 2017 19:48
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Only read the first update so far but this is fascinating.  (Also is it really considered weird to have more than two kids, the OP brought it up a couple of times...)
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Aug 20, 2017 23:26
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Xander77 posted:You can hear all the stories about poo poo getting everywhere and constant sleep deprivation and your baby just deciding the scream and scream and scream the one time you go out (with people staring and judging), but until you actually experience all that, you just file them away as adversity stories. I'm actually more afraid of the whole "you might not get to retire" thing that children seem to cause. I mean, 6th grade sex-ed they had us calculate the cost of raising an infant to 1 year of life (not including medical bills from prenatal care and the actual delivery, I guess we got a pass on that) and our group came up with about $135,000. The teacher shrugged and told us that's why he was still doing this crap instead of relaxing on the beach. Also, violin lessons are expensive.
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Aug 20, 2017 23:43
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Zoe posted:(Also is it really considered weird to have more than two kids, the OP brought it up a couple of times...) Also our goondad wouldn't be a goon if he wasn't embarassing himself over things like how many kids is normal. 
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Aug 20, 2017 23:44
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AgentCooper posted:I'm actually more afraid of the whole "you might not get to retire" thing that children seem to cause. I mean, 6th grade sex-ed they had us calculate the cost of raising an infant to 1 year of life (not including medical bills from prenatal care and the actual delivery, I guess we got a pass on that) and our group came up with about $135,000. The teacher shrugged and told us that's why he was still doing this crap instead of relaxing on the beach. Also, violin lessons are expensive. The really cool part is when you raise a kid for seventeen or eighteen years and think you're fixing to be free, and then they just turn around and immediately hand you another baby to raise.
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Aug 21, 2017 00:44
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Zoe posted:Only read the first update so far but this is fascinating. Just referencing a scene that comes up later. You'll know it when you see it. 
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Aug 21, 2017 00:54
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Zoe posted:The really cool part is when you raise a kid for seventeen or eighteen years and think you're fixing to be free, and then they just turn around and immediately hand you another baby to raise. I saved my parents that particular one by cutting ties and then moving halfway around the world, my plan is to be a lovely enough parent that my kid does the same thing
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Aug 21, 2017 03:48
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Zoe posted:The really cool part is when you raise a kid for seventeen or eighteen years and think you're fixing to be free, and then they just turn around and immediately hand you another baby to raise. Just raise your kids to be goons who can't ever get a relationship and you don't have that problem.
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Aug 21, 2017 08:04
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Jesus, I must be the least jaded dad on the forums. It's great, I love my kid, she's 2 and while not every moment of every day is magical, she's a kid and I'm just enjoying it for what it is. Kind of like goondad seems to have done
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Aug 21, 2017 23:01
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mercenarynuker posted:Jesus, I must be the least jaded dad on the forums. Possible
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Aug 22, 2017 00:05
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mercenarynuker posted:Jesus, I must be the least jaded dad on the forums. It's great, I love my kid, she's 2 and while not every moment of every day is magical, she's a kid and I'm just enjoying it for what it is. Kind of like goondad seems to have done For all he looks like Kim Jong Un, Goondad seems to be a better adjusted person than most goons
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Aug 22, 2017 00:11
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