AbstractNapper posted:

So how long till the new "Road to GamesCom" - game developing is hard u guyz, we are totally trying pleaze send more bux kthxbye.

XK posted:

The opening 600i commercial was great when it looked like they were unveiling a shiny plastic coffin. As for the main demo, beyond the crashes and ramp kill, the black guy all of a sudden speaking with the young asian woman's voice was pretty out there. Then they tried to sell a webcam for their face tech stuff.

There aren't really highlights. The whole thing was baffling.

milk milk lemonade posted:

Chris Roberts is actually Andy Kaufman and this is his greatest performance yet

WarpDogs posted:

Here's my attempt at a summary

* Began with a 45min delay + 3 or 4 commercials for chariots
* New features (facial recognition, voice stuff) introduced then promptly revealed to be coming after 3.0, not with it
* After warping to the quest destination, the pilot's client crashed. The other two players were still in the ship but couldn't interact with it
* After 10 minutes of awkward troubleshooting they eventually had to restart. Cue another 15-20 minutes of mostly silence and long shots of a black room and an increasingly angry Chris as the demo is rebooted
* Because the demo was nearly 100% scripted, they had to do everything all over again leading up to the warp crash
* this included the world's worst RP of all time. yes, they still repeated the RP in the 2nd attempt
* They get to the planet. it's janky. a ton of pop-in and missing models. We all begin to notice that the lighting / colors for each player (they keep switching cameras) is completely different. It's suggested that even the time of day for players is different
* They find the quest object - a ship's black box which turned out to be a red cube that was just laying in a random spot on the floor
* Then they were ambushed, surprising nobody
* They shot the bad guy's ship out of the air from their moon rover, but they clearly weren't even aiming at the guy and it was a really embarrassing moment of scripting
* An Idris comes to save them, and jitter-janks its way to the surface. It extends a ramp for the rover to climb, and the entire thread knew at once it was going to end in disaster. It did. After many failed attempts the rover clipped through the ramp and exploded. The wheels literally fell off and rolled toward the camera, and I very nearly blacked out in laughter
* also the red black box was aboard the rover but nobody acknowledged the mission was a failure
* Sometime after this we cut to a commercial for an RSI-branded webcam. Lots of scare tactics to make you think your existing webcam lacks the horsepower to handle Star Citizen's new facial stuff
* Later, the Idris goes to space and is ambushed a 2nd time, surprising nobody for a 2nd time
* An epic space battle ensues as two goliaths fight through 6-7fps space and jitter-jank into one another. One explodes
* It's the end of the demo. Chris then has a sudden and definitely not scripted idea - let's let the goliaths fight again, but this time the bad guy could win!
* It's another 20 minutes waiting for the really obviously fake and scripted demo to spin up. It's awkward silence. Sandi wanders on stage in her weird clown outfit to give Chris a rum and coke
* The epic space battle begins anew. I cannot notice a single difference, other than a fighter bounces off the hull of the Idris like a Loony Toons cartoon, and the idris rams the bad guy who explodes in 6-7fps fashion. More jitter-jank

Then Chris ends the presentation prematurely before being reminded that the employees are coming out to say goodbye. He asks them to take a bow. They do so. that's it

peter gabriel posted:

Welp I can say hand on heart I had more fun having bits of my skull chiseled off

XK posted:

I have some really bad news to report to you guys. I fear the game might be bad. It's possible Chris Roberts made the bad game.

I'll give them until Citizencon 2017 before I actually make my determination. They better show something amazing then, or else I might have questions, and I might even stop giving them money.

Mne nravitsya posted:

Bumbler posted:

Finishing on a high note:
https://clips.twitch.tv/ConfidentMildDoveDendiFace

Enot posted:

The space landscaping was on point, though.

drat Dirty Ape posted:

I now want to hear that violin music transposed on all sorts of other random fail videos.

I would also love see a remix of the best parts of this presentation with the parp horn.

Taintrunner posted:

No it was hosed up. Like impressively hosed up with bizarre spikes shooting around of the ground

Thoatse posted:

I think today's stream may have broken your irony detector. Try turning it off and back on every 15 minutes until symptoms subsume.

Taintrunner posted:

Why would you not get a refund at this point?

Taintrunner posted:

It's a loving mess that comes off the loving tracks at the instant of a really easy to replicate physics conflict.

Colostomy Bag posted:

I wonder if that famous composer CIG hired came up with all this.

milk milk lemonade posted:

Chris Roberts is actually Andy Kaufman and this is his greatest performance yet

Bumbler posted:

eat your heart out Mass Effect *drops mic*

https://clips.twitch.tv/BombasticColorfulShrewUnSane

Colostomy Bag posted:

Hopefully concerts and sporting events takes a page out CIG's playbook.

Let's open the doors to the venue when the event is suppose to start and have announcers talk about the weather for an hour.

AP posted:

50 pages I'm not going to read, someone got a summary?

biglads posted:

Santaball will be Chris's big reveal

Codependent Poster posted:

You left out that the box was invisible to the person that picked it up. So they tried to not show his view at all. And he carried the invisible box all the way back to the Not-Mako.

Mne nravitsya posted:

Yes. A bunch of us are actively watching this, and it is being discussed across quite a few studios. Especially when it's known that Croberts came to our door and a few other big publishers doors trying to pitch this game years ago, and we all said: No. So, he was forced to change his narrative to "I don't need a publisher!" and crowdfunded the unoriginal idea of a spiritual successor to Wing Commander. Believe me: He wanted a publisher. And more so, then he would ever publicly admit: He wishes he had a publisher right now, because he's in a very bad way. No one is going to hand him a 2 million dollar check this time, to get out of jail free and walk away from this game while keeping the false narrative (that he genuinely believes in his head) that "it was all the publishers fault for why my vision did not come out right on last game". He's in it until the very end with no life raft, and it will be a slow and painful collapse.

Croberts is not a game designer, engineer, art director, or visionary: He is a pitch man plain and simple. Unfortunately for him, pitch time is long over. He is now in a realm that far exceeds his skill set, and you are watching it unfold publicly this time: instead of behind the curtain.

I do have a bit of empathy for him though. Some people are so lacking in self awareness, that part of him doesn't realize that the reason he could never see his games through to the glorious visionary end was not because of bad staff or evil publishers: it was because of him, and his inability to do the job well. He wants to be THE MAN so badly. I'm sorry Chris: You are not as talented as you believe you are, and you have risen far above your level of competence. It's sad to watch this (with a bit of karma/comedy gold thrown in as well) but I hope it doesn't completely consume him. Without a safety net out of this mess: I (and a few others) believe this could become dangerously unhealthy for an out of shape guy his age.