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SelenicMartian
Sep 14, 2013

Sometimes it's not the bomb that's retarded.

Beer4TheBeerGod posted:

My favorite part is how terrible the whole script was, and how obviously proud Chris Roberts was of something so meaningless.
Chris's chuckles and giggling at own genius is the next level of entertainment in that shitshow.

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Bofast
Feb 21, 2011

Grimey Drawer

Mr.Tophat posted:

preserve this

in amber

make theme park

I think Frontier's new Jurassic Park game is already doing that.

Viscous Soda posted:

How did I not get a bingo out of that shitshow?



It's still in alpha. Bingo will be implemented in beta 4.1

Bofast
Feb 21, 2011

Grimey Drawer

peter gabriel posted:



Crash

rollback.bat


:lol:

Since we now know how to make the client connect to a specific server, if someone at CIG can just leak the server build backers can have their private servers ahead of time.

Bofast
Feb 21, 2011

Grimey Drawer

WarpDogs posted:

Here's my attempt at a summary

* Began with a 45min delay + 3 or 4 commercials for chariots
* New features (facial recognition, voice stuff) introduced then promptly revealed to be coming after 3.0, not with it
* After warping to the quest destination, the pilot's client crashed. The other two players were still in the ship but couldn't interact with it
* After 10 minutes of awkward troubleshooting they eventually had to restart. Cue another 15-20 minutes of mostly silence and long shots of a black room and an increasingly angry Chris as the demo is rebooted
* Because the demo was nearly 100% scripted, they had to do everything all over again leading up to the warp crash
* this included the world's worst RP of all time. yes, they still repeated the RP in the 2nd attempt
* They get to the planet. it's janky. a ton of pop-in and missing models. We all begin to notice that the lighting / colors for each player (they keep switching cameras) is completely different. It's suggested that even the time of day for players is different
* They find the quest object - a ship's black box which turned out to be a red cube that was just laying in a random spot on the floor
* Then they were ambushed, surprising nobody
* They shot the bad guy's ship out of the air from their moon rover, but they clearly weren't even aiming at the guy and it was a really embarrassing moment of scripting
* An Idris comes to save them, and jitter-janks its way to the surface. It extends a ramp for the rover to climb, and the entire thread knew at once it was going to end in disaster. It did. After many failed attempts the rover clipped through the ramp and exploded. The wheels literally fell off and rolled toward the camera, and I very nearly blacked out in laughter
* also the red black box was aboard the rover but nobody acknowledged the mission was a failure
* Sometime after this we cut to a commercial for an RSI-branded webcam. Lots of scare tactics to make you think your existing webcam lacks the horsepower to handle Star Citizen's new facial stuff
* Later, the Idris goes to space and is ambushed a 2nd time, surprising nobody for a 2nd time
* An epic space battle ensues as two goliaths fight through 6-7fps space and jitter-jank into one another. One explodes
* It's the end of the demo. Chris then has a sudden and definitely not scripted idea - let's let the goliaths fight again, but this time the bad guy could win!
* It's another 20 minutes waiting for the really obviously fake and scripted demo to spin up. It's awkward silence. Sandi wanders on stage in her weird clown outfit to give Chris a rum and coke
* The epic space battle begins anew. I cannot notice a single difference, other than a fighter bounces off the hull of the Idris like a Loony Toons cartoon, and the idris rams the bad guy who explodes in 6-7fps fashion. More jitter-jank

Then Chris ends the presentation prematurely before being reminded that the employees are coming out to say goodbye. He asks them to take a bow. They do so. that's it

This is a good summary

Jobbo_Fett
Mar 7, 2014

Slava Ukrayini

Clapping Larry

peter gabriel posted:



Crash

rollback.bat


:lol:

SHIPPING CLIENT

xXAdmiralBekHarXx
Jul 11, 2017

by zen death robot

Bofast posted:

This is a good summary

Only thing to add is the idris ramming the other idris crashed the server.

Kellanved
Sep 7, 2009
So it was pretty bad, huh? How is their funding compared to previous years? I saw a graph with around 500k, but aren't they burning like 20m/year?

And that facial recognition tech, lol. The colleague next to me works on that stuff, and reliable facial landmarks (in controlled conditions) are 4-5 years old now. Still takes a bit of processing power to do tho, don't see how yet another resource drain helps them.

Berious
Nov 13, 2005

Tgspectre posted:

I would just like to take this time out between comical disasters to thank this thread, Dr Smart and especially Chris Roberts for providing me with two years of hilarious schadenfreude.

I have been struggling with my mental health and have experienced long depressive episodes where the world seems dark, dull and grey, much like the PU. Through it all one thing I've been able to count on is CIG for the next iteration of their ongoing meltdown, and this thread for laughing at it (and Derek for calling it!)

Yesterday was a landmark day with my wife commenting that she hadn't seen me smiling and laughing like that in years, though it's frustrating not being able to explain why seeing such a display of ineptitude is so funny. Explaining the concept of paying $15000 for JPEGs was tricky too.

So thank you all for your efforts in mocking CIG and long may it continue. May the ELE be delayed for another year.

The ELE was inside of us all along :glomp:

Crazy_BlackParrot
Feb 1, 2016

Christ Roberts is way better than toilet lord...
:gary: :lesnick: :yarg:
:pgabz: :fuzzknot: :eonwe:
:wtchris:

Jobbo_Fett posted:

SHIPPING CLIENT

as in MVP? lmao

Beer4TheBeerGod
Aug 23, 2004
Exciting Lemon

Colostomy Bag posted:

You mean where he would chuckle as he witnessed how cleaver his tech demo was?

SelenicMartian posted:

Chris's chuckles and giggling at own genius is the next level of entertainment in that shitshow.

Exactly. It was clearly written by him and he knew exactly when to laugh, even when none else was. Just another example of how hosed things get when nobody can tell the "visionary" that his ideas are idiotic.

Bofast
Feb 21, 2011

Grimey Drawer

Bootcha posted:

You all deserve this.



:golfclap:

Berious
Nov 13, 2005

Awesome Fidelity posted:




Its not the game, it's you. See. You just have to ROLEPLAY the physics of your ship.

If you just roleplay your perfect game Chris Roberts has already saved PC gaming

Checkmate goonies

Tippis
Mar 21, 2008

It's yet another day in the wasteland.

Kellanved posted:

So it was pretty bad, huh? How is their funding compared to previous years? I saw a graph with around 500k, but aren't they burning like 20m/year?

And that facial recognition tech, lol. The colleague next to me works on that stuff, and reliable facial landmarks (in controlled conditions) are 4-5 years old now. Still takes a bit of processing power to do tho, don't see how yet another resource drain helps them.

It was beyond bad in a very good way.
Back when they had 300+ people working for them, they were burning $3M a month or $100k a day. Now there are 400+ of them.

As for FaceRig, never mind the local processing and what that will do to your poor overtaxed CPU — imagine sending that data to everyone in the scene over an already overtaxed network.

Jobbo_Fett
Mar 7, 2014

Slava Ukrayini

Clapping Larry

Ursine Catastrophe
Nov 9, 2009

It's a lovely morning in the void and you are a horrible lady-in-waiting.



don't ask how i know

Dinosaur Gum

Tippis posted:

As for FaceRig, never mind the local processing and what that will do to your poor overtaxed CPU — imagine sending that data to everyone in the scene over an already overtaxed network.

And remember, no draw distances! How much you want to bet you'll be getting facerig data for everyone on olisar when you're standing on the planet surface?

Bofast
Feb 21, 2011

Grimey Drawer

Thoatse posted:

Shaka, when the walls clipped

:vince:

benzine
Oct 21, 2010
Croberts voice is so boring, finally watching this shitshow on twitch, and their dumb script.

AP
Jul 12, 2004

One Ring to fool them all
One Ring to find them
One Ring to milk them all
and pockets fully line them
Grimey Drawer

Kellanved posted:

So it was pretty bad, huh? How is their funding compared to previous years? I saw a graph with around 500k, but aren't they burning like 20m/year?

For years I posted their funding charts to compare sale etc. However I'm now convinced they are complete bollocks, maybe there was some truth to them in the past.

SelenicMartian
Sep 14, 2013

Sometimes it's not the bomb that's retarded.

I wonder if NPC actor mocap and player 'facial stuff' mocap are even using the same rigging.

Hav
Dec 11, 2009

Fun Shoe

SelenicMartian posted:

I wonder if NPC actor mocap and player 'facial stuff' mocap are even using the same rigging.

Yep. Check out the faceware product site and they're using faceware live. How do you think they got their foot in the door to work on something not actually on the schedules for an update that is not only late, but not actually scheduled anymore.

Buy more ships, though.

neonbregna
Aug 20, 2007

smellmycheese posted:

His arrogance in trying to belittle a massively popular, profitable, stable, fun and RELEASED game is quite breathtaking

When did sky rim become stable? Stop spreading fud

xXAdmiralBekHarXx
Jul 11, 2017

by zen death robot

AP posted:

For years I posted their funding charts to compare sale etc. However I'm now convinced they are complete bollocks, maybe there was some truth to them in the past.

Do you have easy access to last years? In any case there's no way now they are making their nut like they need to to make up for the slow year so far. This was the catalina wine mixer but the step brothers hosed it up.

xXAdmiralBekHarXx
Jul 11, 2017

by zen death robot

neonbregna posted:

When did sky rim become stable? Stop spreading fud

You joke but I actually complain less about games loving up now because I can see how bad it can get when incompetence abounds.

Fargin Icehole
Feb 19, 2011

Pet me.

smellmycheese posted:

His arrogance in trying to belittle a massively popular, profitable, stable, fun and RELEASED game is quite breathtaking

Well I wouldn't say stable

direct comparisons though, yeah, I cannot believe they still haven't fixed the launcher or have an actual patching system in place. Basic level poo poo.

AP
Jul 12, 2004

One Ring to fool them all
One Ring to find them
One Ring to milk them all
and pockets fully line them
Grimey Drawer

xXAdmiralBekHarXx posted:

Do you have easy access to last years? In any case there's no way now they are making their nut like they need to to make up for the slow year so far. This was the catalina wine mixer but the step brothers hosed it up.

Spreadsheet

Toops
Nov 5, 2015

-find mood stabilizers
-also,

This is absolutely incredible, like straight out of Cool3DWorld

AP
Jul 12, 2004

One Ring to fool them all
One Ring to find them
One Ring to milk them all
and pockets fully line them
Grimey Drawer
https://twitter.com/RobertsSpaceInd/status/901458167867068416

AP fucked around with this message at 16:02 on Aug 26, 2017

Quavers
Feb 26, 2016

You clearly don't understand game development
Yesterday's was the best Star Citizen stream ever.

A whirlpool of stunning graphics, ship sales, massive open world, vision, incompetence, panic, disaster, hilarity, tension, stupid fun, pointless gimmicks, jank, instability, and despair. The only thing missing was tickling but i expect that to be added using some groundbreaking tech.

Star Citizen is cool and good, and I'm glad of it. Please keep pledging so this shitshow can last forever.

Harold Stassen
Jan 24, 2016
https://clips.twitch.tv/DreamyRockyDadJKanStyle

Noooo! :negative:




















:twisted:

Quavers
Feb 26, 2016

You clearly don't understand game development
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FuIeKMYaIAk

AP
Jul 12, 2004

One Ring to fool them all
One Ring to find them
One Ring to milk them all
and pockets fully line them
Grimey Drawer
https://twitter.com/FacewareTech/status/901206984476811264

https://twitter.com/FacewareTech/status/901257493220818944

Fargin Icehole
Feb 19, 2011

Pet me.

No, no, NO. NO.

I am not falling for this again, I lost 50 bucks to X:rebirth, I'm not losing another 50 to this.

Tippis
Mar 21, 2008

It's yet another day in the wasteland.


gently caress.

I have work to do.

Fargin Icehole posted:

No, no, NO. NO.

I am not falling for this again, I lost 50 bucks to X:rebirth, I'm not losing another 50 to this.

Yes you are.

Sucker.

Sabreseven
Feb 27, 2016


You're poo poo out of luck pal, no one plays Star Citizen.

TheAgent
Feb 16, 2002

The call is coming from inside Dr. House
Grimey Drawer
hahahaha yes

x4 is going to be out before SC

holy poo poo

xXAdmiralBekHarXx
Jul 11, 2017

by zen death robot

Wow! almost the same as last year :downs:

from the looks of it the next two weeks should be 100-300k days if going by last years numbers.

EminusSleepus
Sep 28, 2015



you need to expand, checkout the guy in the green shirt

Fargin Icehole
Feb 19, 2011

Pet me.

Tippis posted:

gently caress.

I have work to do.


Yes you are.

Sucker.

I bought Elite:Dangerous out of hype for playing space games all over again, and I think i have maybe an hour into it before i got bored of the controls.

I think i'm straight up done with space games now.

Colostomy Bag
Jan 11, 2016

:lesnick: C-Bangin' it :lesnick:

Well my friend, have you tried Star Citizen?

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Randarkman
Jul 18, 2011

neonbregna posted:

When did sky rim become stable? Stop spreading fud

That new Special Edition they put out is actually remarkably stable, even with mods installed.

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