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I was playing a MGS game and I shot a dude and then this big rear end vulture showed up and started eating him, so I shot that vulture and ate that bastard bird raw. After that the dude I shot haunted me saying that I ate him?! True story.
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# ? Aug 24, 2017 02:38 |
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# ? May 12, 2024 22:41 |
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SerialKilldeer posted:I"m looking for a parody of those right-wing "student outwits atheist/liberal professor" e-mail forwards, and I think this thread is the right place to ask. The story goes something like this: the professor announces that students must swear a loyalty oath to Karl Marx, who is the most evolved being that ever lived. Our hero holds up a rock and asks, if evolution is real, why hasn't this rock turned into a monkey? The professor is so overwhelmed by this argument that he immediately keels over dead, the other students all convert to Christianity, and a bald eagle flies into the room and sheds a single tear. yes! and It contains the phrase "he said quite jewishly" which is incredible and the eagels name is small governmentT e: found it based on that eagles name lol quote:”Before the class begins, you must get on your knees and worship Marx and accept that he was the most highly-evolved being the world has ever known, even greater than Jesus Christ!”
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# ? Aug 24, 2017 02:39 |
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Applesnots posted:I was playing a MGS game and I shot a dude and then this big rear end vulture showed up and started eating him, so I shot that vulture and ate that bastard bird raw. After that the dude I shot haunted me saying that I ate him?! They do that if the guy is just sleeping and then if you eat the vulture then it cancels your no kill run, goddamnit kojima you piece of poo poo I had to replay the whole game. Also in the river where all the guys you killed appeared they get unique animations on how they died and that guy will even say "you ate me!"
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# ? Aug 24, 2017 02:40 |
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EmmyOk posted:yes! and It contains the phrase "he said quite jewishly" which is incredible and the eagels name is small governmentT Thank you so much! It's even better than I remembered!
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# ? Aug 24, 2017 02:44 |
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Fathis Munk posted:I had a friend that tried to convince me that hitman blood money was so advanced that he killed a dude by spinning while reloading and the empty magazine was whirled into the dudes head and it was all accurately simulated and the greatest thing. i saw a video of the zombie easteregg in blood money before actually playing it, and told a friend who had beaten it multiple times who then called me out. he was surprised as hell when he went and did it.
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# ? Aug 24, 2017 03:09 |
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EmmyOk posted:They do that if the guy is just sleeping and then if you eat the vulture then it cancels your no kill run, goddamnit kojima you piece of poo poo I had to replay the whole game. Also in the river where all the guys you killed appeared they get unique animations on how they died and that guy will even say "you ate me!" I know, but it really sounds like stdh. but it is for reals! My first run through I was unsure of the rules of waking up so I just killed everyone.... when I got to that river I had to start over.
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# ? Aug 24, 2017 04:09 |
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Roobanguy posted:i saw a video of the zombie easteregg in blood money before actually playing it, and told a friend who had beaten it multiple times who then called me out. he was surprised as hell when he went and did it. I don't know what that is but there are in-game advertisements for a resurrection service in Saints Row 2 and you can call them with the in-game mobile phone and they'll resurrect a character who was killed off in the plot and she comes back as a zombie welp that's my second contribution to this derail god bless.
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# ? Aug 24, 2017 07:04 |
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He, Carlos is a dude.
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# ? Aug 24, 2017 15:16 |
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Manuel Calavera posted:He, Carlos is a dude. Though in Saints Row 1 you can get Zombie Lin that way after she dies.
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# ? Aug 24, 2017 15:23 |
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nothing to see here
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# ? Aug 24, 2017 18:14 |
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quote:Things That Happened On My First Day At Target quote:Day Two: quote:Day Three: quote:Day Four: quote:Day Five:
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# ? Aug 24, 2017 19:37 |
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Prism posted:Though in Saints Row 1 you can get Zombie Lin that way after she dies. I may have confused the two games. It was a long time ago; sorry.
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# ? Aug 24, 2017 19:37 |
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1)GreenMetalSun posted:-A customer purchased hard salami. The store sells a product called hard salami. How anyone can work or shop here with a straight face remains beyond me. Oh for sure. 2) Why does day 5 start like day 1 but suddenly it's bad instead of good?
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# ? Aug 24, 2017 19:47 |
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gschmidl posted:2) Why does day 5 start like day 1 but suddenly it's bad instead of good? What once was novel becomes an irritant, although usually it takes longer than a few days to become jaded like that
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# ? Aug 24, 2017 19:50 |
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gschmidl posted:2) Why does day 5 start like day 1 but suddenly it's bad instead of good? It was the same woman and she informed him that she'd already worn out the other set?
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# ? Aug 24, 2017 20:19 |
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I believe all of this except the narrator's flawless memory and ability to not lose eight hours of transactions into a grey haze.
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# ? Aug 24, 2017 20:47 |
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RoboRodent posted:I believe all of this except the narrator's flawless memory and ability to not lose eight hours of transactions into a grey haze. You do have a better memory at 13, when you still laugh about "hard salami" and the number 69 unironically.
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# ? Aug 24, 2017 20:48 |
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Nice!
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# ? Aug 24, 2017 21:30 |
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Are women supposed to stop wearing underwear when they turn 80?
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# ? Aug 25, 2017 01:43 |
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They're definitely supposed to stop having sex and buying lingerie. Ideally they should stop having private parts because granny undies are gross too!
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# ? Aug 25, 2017 02:18 |
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Is Grannys and Trannys still a popular porn combination?
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# ? Aug 25, 2017 05:18 |
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'A customer purchased hard salami. The store sells a product called hard salami. How anyone can work or shop here with a straight face remains beyond me.' shut the gently caress up
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# ? Aug 25, 2017 05:29 |
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I kinda liked those They didn't happen but some were nicely written imo. Very chill. Fathis Munk has a new favorite as of 11:15 on Aug 25, 2017 |
# ? Aug 25, 2017 10:09 |
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quote:-Saw a girl skipping down the aisle in what can only be described as a pink princess fairy wedding dress. She was filled with happiness and if I hadn’t been on the clock I would have taken her. At the very least, I want that outfit for my own. Taken her? Who says that about a girl unless they're some kind of kidnapping rapist?
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# ? Aug 25, 2017 10:15 |
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yeah I eat rear end posted:Taken her? Who says that about a girl unless they're some kind of kidnapping rapist? WalMart employee, right?
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# ? Aug 25, 2017 10:58 |
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It says Target, in bold, in literally the first line of the first quote. I didn't even read them and I saw that, comeon guys.
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# ? Aug 25, 2017 11:14 |
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Huh yeah mixed them up. I just remembered "big American store Corp". I doesn't really matter since it happened neither in a Walmart, nor a Target.
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# ? Aug 25, 2017 11:16 |
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Fathis Munk posted:Huh yeah mixed them up. I just remembered "big American store Corp". Was it actually a K-Mart or something? Big K?
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# ? Aug 25, 2017 11:41 |
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Zipperelli. posted:Was it actually a K-Mart or something? Big K? No, she said customers came through
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# ? Aug 25, 2017 12:46 |
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It astonishes me that K-Mart still exists. I honestly thought they were all closed, but some are still kicking around. I liked most of those stories. Sure, they didn't happen, but at least they weren't the impotent revenge against a mean customer tales we're used to.
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# ? Aug 25, 2017 13:19 |
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One might even say they're cool stories, bro
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# ? Aug 25, 2017 14:58 |
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they were overwrought and tiresome, but definitely funny to a teenager
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# ? Aug 25, 2017 15:52 |
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What joke was going to get him reprimanded? Just saying "nice"?
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# ? Aug 26, 2017 19:13 |
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"Job applicants who walked out of an interview before it was over, why did you do it?"
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# ? Aug 27, 2017 03:35 |
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Trash Boat posted:"Job applicants who walked out of an interview before it was over, why did you do it?" "After waiting an hour for an interview, I gave up after the first question and left without a job. I am the winner. "
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# ? Aug 27, 2017 04:13 |
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A big mac, because while I have a lot of ingredients they're all poorly-prepared and tasteless.
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# ? Aug 27, 2017 06:22 |
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BioEnchanted posted:A big mac, because while I have a lot of ingredients they're all poorly-prepared and tasteless. I used to think I hated pickles because of the McDonald's pickles that are soggy slabs of something. Turns out I just hate soggy slabs of something.
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# ? Aug 27, 2017 07:46 |
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Trash Boat posted:"Job applicants who walked out of an interview before it was over, why did you do it?" "I'd be a McDonalds Hamburger because you literally just said I was. HIRE ME"
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# ? Aug 27, 2017 09:43 |
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The thing about interviews is that an interviewer should also be representing their organization. If you make me wait an hour past our scheduled interview time and don't even show basic professional courtesy, why do I want to work for you? If this is the respect you show prospective employees, what can I expect if I am actually hired? I'd be out the door before you even finished the stupid burger question unless I was a teenager desperate for work and I was literally interviewing for a job at McDonald's. If I had walked into any interview and been treated like that, I would never even consider working for them. There's something to be said for not burning bridges, depending on the field, but an unprofessional goofball interviewer is a huge red flag. E: of course it didn't happen and is obviously a story based on those "stupid interview questions" you hear about sometimes.
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# ? Aug 27, 2017 11:51 |
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# ? May 12, 2024 22:41 |
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So you're saying making someone wait an hour past the scheduled time of an interview reflects poorly on that company? Wow never thought of it like that before.
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# ? Aug 27, 2017 14:51 |