Ride The Gravitron posted:

I'm seeing that she recognized she had this attraction, realized her marriage was more important and so distanced her self from the other guy. What should she have done?

maskenfreiheit posted:

If a man said he was going to refuse to mentor a woman for not continuing to sleep with him, would we view the refusal as a positive thing?

Ride The Gravitron posted:

Ghosting is a way bigger dick move than just "refused to keep sleeping with"

maskenfreiheit posted:

A Wizard of Goatse posted:

I [26f] told my husband [26m] I want a divorce...but I don't.

maskenfreiheit posted:

If a man said he was going to refuse to mentor a woman for not continuing to sleep with him, would we view the refusal as a positive thing?

SirSamVimes posted:

Even if the genders were reversed, she has absolutely no obligation to help him. However seeing as she holds no hard feelings at this point and seems to want to give the advice, there's no reason not to.

13Pandora13 posted:

You keep doing this "infer things that aren't real based on personal experiences" thing in this thread. It's either stupid or a bad gimmick. If they worked at the same company and she was a superior refusing mentorship, that'd be one thing, but nobody owes someone what basically amounts to friendship, expecially when said person has shown they don't appreciate that person as a friend.

maskenfreiheit posted:

Also, who knows what the future holds. He could be in a position to help her another 5 years down the line. Why burn the bridge unnecessarily?

Ride The Gravitron posted:

Pretty sure he burned it first

InediblePenguin posted:

maskenfreiheit, you've said multiple times in this thread that we owe you positive attention to keep you from acting out. I think the time you spend posting could be more fruitfully spent with your therapist

Haifisch posted:

Dude's going to have Mother Dearest's desiccated corpse keeping him company in his basement someday.

Ride The Gravitron posted:

I'm seeing that she recognized she had this attraction, realized her marriage was more important and so distanced her self from the other guy. What should she have done?

quote:

I have been with my boyfriend for a year now. Last year when we started dating we would watch the football games for our home team with his friends and their girlfriends every week. They are all in his fantasy leagues.. his friends and their girlfriends. So when we would watch the game they would all be glued to their phones and I felt left out. I didn't let it bother me then because it was a new relationship.

Now he is starting up his league again. His draft is tonight actually. He never asked me if I would be interested in playing. Just asked all his friends and their gfs if they were in again this year. I said something about it and said in order for me to play he would have to kick someone out of the league or find an additional player because I would make if an odd number. Basically making it sound like he didn't want me to play.

I said okay well you need to at least let me look on with you because I feel left out. He just laughed. I've brought up looking on his phone twice since then and he laughs and I ask why it's funny and he says nothing. His draft is tonight and he isn't allowed to be bothered the whole time. Like I'm not allowed to watch him.

This wouldn't bother me if he didn't include his friends girlfriends. But he does. It's not just his buddies. So I feel left out and know I will feel really left out on game days when they are all looking at their phones trash talking each other.
tl;dr boyfriend won't let me be in his fantasy football league

David Heinrich posted:

The genders being reversed or not doesn't matter, he's not entitled to her help when he was lovely to her. Like, he hosed her over to the point where she has less reason to help him than a complete stranger, so expecting a thing from her is a bit stupid.

WampaLord posted:

Ahahahahahahahahaha.

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

My [28f] boyfriend [34m] won't let me join his fantasy football league


"Honey, can I join the fantasy league?"

InediblePenguin posted:

maskenfreiheit, you've said multiple times in this thread that we owe you positive attention to keep you from acting out. I think the time you spend posting could be more fruitfully spent with your therapist

maskenfreiheit posted:

maybe he wants to have a part of his life that doesn't involve his gf?

WampaLord posted:

If the his other friends' girlfriends weren't involved, I'd accept that he just wanted a "guys only activity" or something, but since they're all involved now he's being the weird excluding rear end in a top hat.

maskenfreiheit posted:

i mean isn't guys only basically a euphenism for "activity away from my gf?"

i've had stuff i did that was "me time" even though it had mixed genders.

maskenfreiheit posted:

for context, they hooked up once, she mentioned it was her first time (in the reddit post - not to the guy) and it was awkward, and afterwards he only communicated with her on work relevant projects.

if they were still in the same org he could actually make a case for sexual harassment to HR since she's retaliating for not loving her, rather than saying she's busy

Ride The Gravitron posted:

I don't know fantasy football but the "odd number out"kind of makes sense but then the phone thing seemed like a real dickish move

WampaLord posted:

You double down on everything, huh? I don't think I've ever seen you say "Hey, good point, I was wrong about that one."

quote:

I was talking about our younger dating years with my friends, and I mentioned how I wasn't really interested in girls back then, but I ended up dating this one girl from school for a year because she was really hot. That got me thinking, is it weird to say someone who you dated when you were basically a kid was "hot"? I'm 25 now, haven't seen her since the year we broke up when we were both 14 so, its like I'm essentially picturing a 14 year old as "hot". Is it just out of habit since I was so attracted to her back then?

maskenfreiheit posted:

Is it weird if you remember an girlfriend from when you were very young as being "hot", even though you're now an adult? (self.dating_advice)

quote:

Turns out you just end up being the latest guy to learn why all these women are still single in their 30s.

Disclaimer: Feel free to make a similar post about guys if you want. I'm sure we've got our own stupid poo poo. I'm just providing my straight-male experiences here.

Take it from my misconception: age does not correlate to maturity. Older single women just tend to be way more insecure and fickle than their younger counterparts. Sure, younger women are more interested in exploring around with people rather than committing to anything serious while they still have time (hence why I wanted to try dating up), but older just means they "don't have time for anyone that isn't perfect for them" (whatever that even means).

Yea, this is a big generalization, but I've talked to about 60 and dated close to 25 women in this age range in the past year; even had a relationship with one for a few months. I only met a handful that had what I would consider realistic expectations about dating. My feelings seem to be that they are way too scared and insecure about wasting the "little" time they have left (especially if they want children) that they break things off over the stupidest stuff. It's perfection or nothing.

I drove a red car instead of a black one "like a real grownup man"
I waited 24 hours to message her after the date (too long), so I don't know how to communicate
Autocorrect accidentally changed your to you're
"I used to be on the fence about children, but now I know I want them"; "There's no on-the-fence, you either always knew you wanted them or you don't want them"; :\
I took her to a bar her ex liked going to, so I must be just like him ¯\(ツ)/¯
I clearly couldn't tolerate a curvy woman, hence why I asked her to go on a second date ¯\(ツ)/¯
This first date went too well; I must have been lying about a lot of stuff ¯\(ツ)/¯

Also, in my experience, they ghost a hell of a lot more. That's more childish than a lot of the younger girls who at least come out and say "it's just not working" before breaking it off.

Bring the hate I guess.

quote:

I'll try to keep it as short as possible (on mobile and English ist my second language-be kind):

Background My Ex and I met at university 6 years ago when he was studying abroad in my country, we became really close friends and for the last months before he had to return home we slid into a "what if we never meet again-I kind of Love you" relationship. He went back, I found out that I was pregnant. After a some long talks via Skype we decide to keep it and for us to stay friends and co-parents (He had already started to apply for jobs in my country). Fast forward, I give birth to our daughter (D) with him and my sister by my side.

When my daughter turned 3 he finally got a job in my town and we arranged that she could spend his free weekends with him (allowing me to have some time for myself). With him as a direct co-parent present we established some rules together:

*No introduction of new partners to our daughter before the relationship isn't at least 6 months strong

*Due to both of our work we don't have Facebook/Instagram/etc accounts and we want to keep our daughter's online presence as low as possible: no public pictures of her anywhere, if you take a picture, send it to the other parent in a message or share it with family via e-mail.

We also agreed on meeting before her weekends with him, only the two of US, to chat and plan ahead. Since we are both on the same wavelength parentingwise, everything was well until

Now My Ex met Claire (late 20s) 4 months ago at work. He told me about her during one of our lunch parent-dates and I was excited that he was back dating again (I'm in a 8 month relationship with a great guy, so no jealousy). Well, they where seeing each other for 2 months when she suddenly came over to his flat to meet his daughter (this wasn't planned, he had told her that He wouldn't have time that weekend because he was spending time with D- so she decide that she needed to meet her.) D was confused, Ex was angry but didn't want fight with Claire, so he called me I allowed it, D and Claire had fun. When I picked D up, Ex and I talked to Claire about our rules and she seemed to be okay with them, even suggesting not to tell D that she was Ex's new GF yet.

Two days later, my sister-who lives with me and is addicted to Instagram- came to me with an alarming picture: my daughter and Claire with the caption "Met my special someone's special girl. Already best friends!" I called my Ex, informed him of the pic, he reminded her of our rules, she took it down.

Well, that's the dance we've been dancing for the last months: D spends time with her dad, Claire turnes up. And as D tells me: As soon as Ex leaves the two of them alone for some minutes, Claire pulls out her phone and plays "the photo game". Posts them on some social media platform (she's a part time beauty blogger with a growing presence) . Pulls them down again as soon as Ex tells her. I don't know why she does it and Ex doesn't know what to do. Well, I would know a possibility but I don't want to interfere with their relationship...

So that's were I am. What can I do? D tells Claire not to take photos of her and even runs away and Claire doesn't listen. The last pic was the back of my daughter's head in the sun, captioned: "The Mini Version luuuurves summer. Just like me". Arghhh.

TldrEx's new GF of 4 months cannont understand that we do Not want any pics of our daughter online, but she takes them anyway only to delete them hours (and some likes) later. Ex tells her to Stop, she doesn't. Daughter runs away at the sight of her phone...she takes a pic of her running. Apart from this issue: I don't want a strange woman to have so many pictures of my daughter. What the hell should I do?

quote:

Edit: Ex read the thread and feels guilty now for not putting his foot down enough. I feel similar. We talked in the phone for a while and have now come up with a battle plan:

* Since I hold sole custody, my daughter will be staying with me and my sister. Ex will visit her at my house only. Without Claire. Claire doesn't know where I live and I hope it stays that way.

* Ex wants to try to go through Claire's phone tonight (they have an open phone policy, so no snooping) and delete any pics of our daughter she has saved. He's a little bit creeped out now.

* We'll meet Claire tomorrow evening together. On neutral grounds. In public. I'm writing a script and have printed out screenshots (thanks to my sister) of all the 59 (!) posts she made about my daughter (on Instagram, Facebook AND Snapchat)

Further Insight What my Ex just told me: apparently Claire and her friends are just overenthusiastic about little kids, that's why he never thought something bad about the captions/comments, but He also told me that Claire tried to persuade D to go to the hairdresser with her (He left them alone in the room. For an hour. Because of a work call) and D came out crying and told him she didn't want to have a teal streak in her hair. And Claire came after her saying: " But look how pretty I am! Don't you want to look exciting?" He shut THAT down. But never told me. My sister told him to reconsider Claire's position on the crazy/hot scale.

corn on the cop posted:

why is this even a question

A Wizard of Goatse posted:

Reddit's not the best at navigating age-of-consent-related issues

Haifisch posted:

Me [Early 30sF] with my Ex[30sM] and his new GF of 4 months[late 20sF]- She won't stop taking/posting pictures of my daughter [5F]

quote:

My sister told him to reconsider Claire's position on the crazy/hot scale.

Haifisch posted:

Me [Early 30sF] with my Ex[30sM] and his new GF of 4 months[late 20sF]- She won't stop taking/posting pictures of my daughter [5F]

Outrail posted:

Lol! Backhanded insults.

A Wizard of Goatse posted:

Reddit's not the best at navigating age-of-consent-related issues

quote:

Yea, this is a big generalization, but I've talked to about 60 and dated close to 25 women in this age range in the past year; even had a relationship with one for a few months. I only met a handful that had what I would consider realistic expectations about dating. My feelings seem to be that they are way too scared and insecure about wasting the "little" time they have left (especially if they want children) that they break things off over the stupidest stuff. It's perfection or nothing.

PetraCore posted:

If you're a big enough dick that 25 women have broken up with you in a single year it's not the fault of the women.

PetraCore posted:

If you're a big enough dick that 25 women have broken up with you in a single year it's not the fault of the women.

PetraCore posted:

If you're a big enough dick that 25 women have broken up with you in a single year it's not the fault of the women.