Jokes that are good but you can't be bothered to develop a thread for

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Jedrick: There he goes. One of God's own prototypes. Some kind of high-powered mutant never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die.
Smoke weed every day.

My grandpa just died. He's the third of my grandparents to pass.

*Halo 2 announcer voice*: LAST GRAN STANDING

# ? Aug 30, 2017 10:42

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# ? May 11, 2024 16:51

Olive!: It's not a ghost, but probably a 'living corpse'. The 'living dead' with a hell of a lot of bloodlust...

kiefer madness

# ? Aug 30, 2017 10:44

Jedrick: There he goes. One of God's own prototypes. Some kind of high-powered mutant never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die.
Smoke weed every day.

Jedrick posted:

My grandpa just died. He's the third of my grandparents to pass.

*Halo 2 announcer voice*: LAST GRAN STANDING

The joke is that he's actually dieing, and this is how I mourn.

# ? Aug 30, 2017 10:44

Putty: HOOKED ON THE BROTHERS

The esports themed funeral for my grandfather, the greatest Falco player of all time

# ? Aug 30, 2017 13:33

AverySpecialfriend: by Hand Knit

Let us bow our heads in silence *dead quiet except for controllers clacking*

# ? Aug 30, 2017 16:47

wearing a lampshade

deep dish peat moss posted:

The exact center of the Universe is right here, we all revolve around this poo poo that someone took here, in the middle of Disneyworld.

New HBO series, John from Disneyworld, has been cancelled after one episode.

# ? Aug 30, 2017 17:28

Putty: HOOKED ON THE BROTHERS

May the son of the deceased come up and say a few words?

Son: MISHUN... COMPRETE!!!!

# ? Aug 30, 2017 17:40

ShinyBirdTeeth: sparkle sparkle sparkle

Someone bumps over a rotating fan and the coffin lurches two stories into the air.

# ? Aug 30, 2017 18:21

little munchkin

Putty posted:

The esports themed funeral for my grandfather, the greatest Falco player of all time

*sobbing while delivering the eulogy* my grandfather's death was total bullshit, imo it was rng that killed him, not the cancer. he would have easily survived if it was best 2 out of 3

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# ? Aug 30, 2017 18:28

ShinyBirdTeeth: sparkle sparkle sparkle

Midway through the eulogy he clicks "Yes" on continue and everyone is really pissed cause you can't get a deposit back on a coffin.

# ? Aug 30, 2017 18:34

AverySpecialfriend: by Hand Knit

Most people are sad when babies die but I'm more impressed with their life speed run

# ? Aug 30, 2017 18:40

Putty: HOOKED ON THE BROTHERS

little munchkin posted:

*sobbing while delivering the eulogy* my grandfather's death was total bullshit, imo it was rng that killed him, not the cancer. he would have easily survived if it was best 2 out of 3

gently caress lmao

# ? Aug 30, 2017 18:53

AverySpecialfriend: by Hand Knit

make the thread its good

# ? Aug 30, 2017 18:57

Ride The Gravitron: by FactsAreUseless

AverySpecialfriend posted:

Most people are sad when babies die but I'm more impressed with their life speed run

# ? Aug 30, 2017 19:09

AverySpecialfriend: by Hand Knit

i usually dont do dead baby jokes because theyre generally tasteless and needlessly cruel (im actually a little regretful of that one) but i couldnt help myself

# ? Aug 30, 2017 19:18

wearing a lampshade

Life speedrun is a really good joke. You should be proud.

# ? Aug 30, 2017 19:20

Putty: HOOKED ON THE BROTHERS

AverySpecialfriend posted:

make the thread its good

FINE

# ? Aug 30, 2017 19:24

DavidAlltheTime: All David...all the TIME!

An alternate dimension where the concept of having duplicates doesn't exist, so there's only one of everything. So there's 1 jar of jam on Earth, and everyone has to share it. The thread would be hypothetical quotes from the 'Jar keeper'

# ? Aug 30, 2017 20:13

Putty: HOOKED ON THE BROTHERS

A world without Wario...

# ? Aug 30, 2017 20:14

AverySpecialfriend: by Hand Knit

Bad Luck and Extreme Misfortune Will Infest Your Pathetic Soul for All Eternity: the Thread

# ? Aug 30, 2017 22:02

ShinyBirdTeeth: sparkle sparkle sparkle

The lost generation: millions of dads all across the country are hooked on WWII bullshit. Every year more and more 30-40 year old men develop a sudden, ill-informed fixation on tanks, planes, and other irrelevant crap from a series of conflicts that - taken together - killed tens of millions of civilians through disease, starvation, combat, and extermination.

"I really admire the engineering that went into early man-portable radios," said an area dad obsessed with this bullshit. "And the Jerry Can -- what a breakthrough!"

# ? Aug 30, 2017 23:02

Twenty Four

AverySpecialfriend posted:

Most people are sad when babies die but I'm more impressed with their life speed run

lol

# ? Aug 31, 2017 03:53

DavidAlltheTime: All David...all the TIME!

Everyone on earth runs out of toilet paper at the same time, and resorts to using towels to wipe, and so all the earth's washing machines are turned on at the same time, leading to mass water shortages.

The movie's title?

..................wiped out.

# ? Sep 1, 2017 05:36

AverySpecialfriend: by Hand Knit

wait i think you skipped a step there was everyone on earth pooping at the same time too

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# ? Sep 1, 2017 05:38

sebmojo: Legit Cyberpunk

edible cars

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This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!

# ? Sep 1, 2017 12:25

Twenty Four

sebmojo posted:

edible cars

drivable food

# ? Sep 1, 2017 12:31

Twenty Four

sebmojo posted:

edible cars

Twenty Four posted:

drivable food

I went to the service station the other day to get an oil change and tire rotation. The mechanic pulled the drain plug out of my oil pan and just started chugging the oil as it came out like he was at a frat party. The oil was everywhere!

I gave my truck the once over before I left and apparently they replaced my lug nuts with meatballs? They call themselves professionals? 0/5 Stars.

# ? Sep 1, 2017 12:55

Pot Smoke Phoenix: Smoke 'em if you gottem!

This is the 667 re: to this thread. I have broken the curse!

https://i.imgur.com/QKTkerO.mp4
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Sig File protected by SigLock. do NOT steal this sig!

# ? Sep 1, 2017 13:26

Putty: HOOKED ON THE BROTHERS

sebmojo posted:

edible cars

Kind of hard to keep people in my trunk if they keep eating their way out

# ? Sep 1, 2017 13:55

Putty: HOOKED ON THE BROTHERS

Yeah, I vape. *sucks out air in tires and floats away*

# ? Sep 1, 2017 13:56

alnilam

Yeah, I vape *boils water on a stove*

# ? Sep 1, 2017 13:58

Pot Smoke Phoenix: Smoke 'em if you gottem!

Yeah, I vape **turns into an ethereal cloud of vampire vapor**

https://i.imgur.com/QKTkerO.mp4
_{_{Sig elements by Manifisto and Heather Papps}}
Sig File protected by SigLock. do NOT steal this sig!

# ? Sep 1, 2017 14:03

DavidAlltheTime: All David...all the TIME!

Whale womb sensory deprivation tanks.

# ? Sep 2, 2017 06:38

Olive!: It's not a ghost, but probably a 'living corpse'. The 'living dead' with a hell of a lot of bloodlust...

Yeah, I vape *smokes a marijuana cigarette*

# ? Sep 2, 2017 07:36

Grandmother of Five: I'm tired of hearing about money, money, money, money, money. I just want to play the game, drink Pepsi, wear Reebok.

Not sure if it is okay for this thread, but I have thought up some trolls that I think are good, but I don't want to use them on people, like, bringing up that broccoli is actually a type of flower, or saying how the Playstation Plus subscription has become pretty poor value, in my opinion.

# ? Sep 2, 2017 07:36

Olive!: It's not a ghost, but probably a 'living corpse'. The 'living dead' with a hell of a lot of bloodlust...

Yeah, I vape. *breathes*

# ? Sep 2, 2017 08:17

sebmojo: Legit Cyberpunk

Olive Garden tonight! posted:

Yeah, I vape. *breathes*

yeah I vape ( vapes coolly)

# ? Sep 2, 2017 08:59

Jedrick: There he goes. One of God's own prototypes. Some kind of high-powered mutant never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die.
Smoke weed every day.

I just noticed that the word "semen" sounds an awful lot like the words "see/sea men". Perhaps there are some chuckles to be had here?

# ? Sep 2, 2017 09:17

Putty: HOOKED ON THE BROTHERS

Jedrick posted:

I just noticed that the word "semen" sounds an awful lot like the words "see/sea men". Perhaps there are some chuckles to be had here?

Only on the Dreamcast

# ? Sep 3, 2017 06:07

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# ? May 11, 2024 16:51

Olive!: It's not a ghost, but probably a 'living corpse'. The 'living dead' with a hell of a lot of bloodlust...

sometime in 199x

president of nintendo, to president sega: I bet you ten thousand bucks you can't make a video game where leonard nimoy says 'semen' a lot

president sega: oh yeah?

# ? Sep 3, 2017 06:17

The Something Awful Forums > Main > BYOB: BYOB BYOB BOYB BBOY YOBB YBOB BBYO?? > Jokes that are good but you can't be bothered to develop a thread for

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