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Bloody Hedgehog
Dec 12, 2003

💥💥🤯💥💥
Gotta nuke something

Maybe Japan has a negative birthrate because you need someone to write a thesis explaining how sex-time words work.

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Say Nothing
Mar 5, 2013

by FactsAreUseless

Baron von Eevl
Jan 24, 2005

WHITE NOISE
GENERATOR

🔊😴
I particularly like how the headline implies that he's been accused of being Florida Man.

Rough Lobster
May 27, 2009

Don't be such a squid, bro
http://www.tabletmag.com/scroll/243733/jewcy-faygo?utm_source=fb&utm_medium=post&utm_campaign=Aug2017

How a Jewish Soda Company Helped the Insane Clown Posse Fight the Nazis

davidspackage
May 16, 2007

Nap Ghost

His cat roams free.

Screaming Idiot
Nov 26, 2007

JUST POSTING WHILE JERKIN' MY GHERKIN SITTIN' IN A PERKINS!

BEATS SELLING MERKINS.
Next week's episode of Law and Order: SVU... "Cat-Like Typing Detected" or "Kitty Pawrn"

jojoinnit
Dec 13, 2010

Strength and speed, that's why you're a special agent.

I'm now confused and aroused but still unlikely to visit Japan anytime soon.

du -hast
Mar 12, 2003

BEHEAD THOSE WHO INSULT GENTOO

Nice!

Leave
Feb 7, 2012

Taking the term "Koopaling" to a whole new level since 2016.
Weird News Headlines, Quotes, & Articles: His Cat Roams Free

Proteus Jones
Feb 28, 2013




"They arrested me as a pedophile, but my cat is the one that downloaded the Kitty Porn"

canis minor
May 4, 2011

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2017/08/25/horror-author-stephen-king-retaliates-donald-trump-blocks-twitter/

https://twitter.com/StephenKing/status/900899429242343427

Lime Tonics
Nov 7, 2015

by FactsAreUseless
Patients treated for putting sunscreen in eyes during solar eclipse, report says

http://nbc4i.com/2017/08/25/patients-treated-for-putting-sunscreen-in-eyes-during-solar-eclipse-report-says/

warning label gonna get an extra blurb soon.

Wheat Loaf
Feb 13, 2012

by FactsAreUseless

MizPiz
May 29, 2013

by Athanatos
Priest says he collected child porn to get revenge on God for poker losses

Punished Chuck
Dec 27, 2010


Trying to revenge yourself on an eternal, all-powerful being seems like a plan with a few glaring flaws.

Humerus
Jul 7, 2009

Rule of acquisition #111:
Treat people in your debt like family...exploit them.


Chuck Buried Treasure posted:

Trying to revenge yourself on an eternal, all-powerful being seems like a plan with a few glaring flaws.

It never stopped Greek heroes, though.

SurreptitiousMuffin
Mar 21, 2010
You just know Trump is gonna drop $500 seeing it as many times as possible out of spite and King wins either way.

Screaming Idiot
Nov 26, 2007

JUST POSTING WHILE JERKIN' MY GHERKIN SITTIN' IN A PERKINS!

BEATS SELLING MERKINS.

Since when did they allow cats into the priesthood?

Cumslut1895
Feb 18, 2015

by FactsAreUseless

this is a misprint, he was actually trying to get revenge on Dog

Gum
Mar 9, 2008

oho, a rapist
time to try this puppy out
I know when i pick a fight with a god i always go for methods that can very easily be made to backfire on me

Phlegmish
Jul 2, 2011



I will set fire to this orphanage, God will wish he never messed with me.

venus de lmao
Apr 30, 2007

Call me "pixeltits"

I try not to pick fights with omnipotent beings.

Sunswipe
Feb 5, 2016

by Fluffdaddy

Bertrand Hustle posted:

I try not to pick fights with omnipotent beings.

*adjusts fedora, consults library of Richard Dawkins books*
I think you'll find he didn't. :smug:

Facebook Aunt
Oct 4, 2008

wiggle wiggle




Sunswipe posted:

*adjusts fedora, consults library of Richard Dawkins books*
I think you'll find he didn't. :smug:

I wonder if that was the point? A particularly stupid crisis of faith. Dude dedicates his life to serving God. No wife, no kids, no one who will give a drat about him in his old age. Hardly any friends because it's tough for clergy to relax be friends with anyone -- they are always on duty. Nothing material to show for his life except some fancy robes and a bunch of religious iconography, because unlike some protestant ministers catholic priests aren't allowed to own anything: If you make it to high rank you'll get to live in a gilded mansion, but none of it is yours.

After a life of service and sacrifice, God won't even help me win a #$&%ing poker tournament! It's like none of it mattered at all!!! Is there even a god?!? Have I thrown my life away being GOOD for all these years for NOTHING??!

So he does the worst thing he can think of (that doesn't actually require any physical effort) and just dares God to punish him. And then the police show up. LOL.

Gum
Mar 9, 2008

oho, a rapist
time to try this puppy out
The boring truth is it's just a paedophile making a really bad excuse

Ape Agitator
Feb 19, 2004

Soylent Green is Monkeys
College Slice

davidspackage posted:

His cat roams free.

Screaming Idiot posted:

Next week's episode of Law and Order: SVU... "Cat-Like Typing Detected" or "Kitty Pawrn"


Screaming Idiot posted:

Since when did they allow cats into the priesthood?

Cumslut1895 posted:

this is a misprint, he was actually trying to get revenge on Dog

This is the funniest page in the thread

GEORGE W BUSHI
Jul 1, 2012

Korean man fined for spreading rumours online that 95 year old widow of former President was going to marry Dr Dre

Cythereal
Nov 8, 2009

I love the potoo,
and the potoo loves you.
While also horrifying, especially given the context...

https://twitter.com/NWS/status/902174274571689984

The National Weather Service genuinely had to redraw their scales and charts to accommodate Hurricane Harvey.

SpacePig
Apr 4, 2007

Hold that pose.
I've gotta get something.

Cythereal posted:

While also horrifying, especially given the context...

https://twitter.com/NWS/status/902174274571689984

The National Weather Service genuinely had to redraw their scales and charts to accommodate Hurricane Harvey.

That is genuinely upsetting. Looking forward to the new US coastline, though.

Rough Lobster
May 27, 2009

Don't be such a squid, bro

SpacePig posted:

That is genuinely upsetting. Looking forward to the new US coastline, though.

Yeah I'll see you out in Arizona bay.

Say Nothing
Mar 5, 2013

by FactsAreUseless

Aesop Poprock
Oct 21, 2008


Grimey Drawer

Facebook Aunt posted:

I wonder if that was the point? A particularly stupid crisis of faith. Dude dedicates his life to serving God. No wife, no kids, no one who will give a drat about him in his old age. Hardly any friends because it's tough for clergy to relax be friends with anyone -- they are always on duty. Nothing material to show for his life except some fancy robes and a bunch of religious iconography, because unlike some protestant ministers catholic priests aren't allowed to own anything: If you make it to high rank you'll get to live in a gilded mansion, but none of it is yours.

After a life of service and sacrifice, God won't even help me win a #$&%ing poker tournament! It's like none of it mattered at all!!! Is there even a god?!? Have I thrown my life away being GOOD for all these years for NOTHING??!

So he does the worst thing he can think of (that doesn't actually require any physical effort) and just dares God to punish him. And then the police show up. LOL.

The dude came up with the dumbest possible excuse for jerking off to kids and you wrote 3 paragraphs talking about how it could be true? Are you him?

Facebook Aunt
Oct 4, 2008

wiggle wiggle




Aesop Poprock posted:

The dude came up with the dumbest possible excuse for jerking off to kids and you wrote 3 paragraphs talking about how it could be true? Are you him?

It's funnier if he's telling the truth than if he's just another perv.

a kitten
Aug 5, 2006

https://twitter.com/DavidUberti/status/902626557868564482

Say Nothing
Mar 5, 2013

by FactsAreUseless

putrid aidsman
Apr 13, 2017

by Lowtax

a kitten
Aug 5, 2006

Godspeed, sir.

MizPiz
May 29, 2013

by Athanatos

A warrior fighting for our freedoms :patriot:

gleebster
Dec 16, 2006

Only a howler
Pillbug

No way is that guy a shaver.

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ultrafilter
Aug 23, 2007

It's okay if you have any questions.


John Popper From Blues Traveler Will Not Stop Posting Aerial Pictures of My House

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