|
Tin Can Hit Man posted:I dunno about evil, but they're throwing around words and phrases like "equity" and "stock options" and "livable wage". Sounds Chaotic Good to me, bruh. You need to get that poo poo under control. Perhaps some sort of doll Pinkertons?
|
#
?
Sep 1, 2017 14:36
|
|
|
|
| # ? Jun 3, 2024 18:22 |
|
|
*summons sexy satan*
|
|
#
?
Sep 1, 2017 14:39
|
|
|
CAPT. Rainbowbeard posted:Sounds Chaotic Good to me, bruh. I can see the chaotic element in it. But how is this good for me? Does anyone have an accountant or HR Barbie I can animate?
|
|
#
?
Sep 1, 2017 14:49
|
|
|
I found the location of the wizard meeting. It's in the southern wood, NOT the northern where I thought it was.
John Wick of Dogs fucked around with this message at 16:25 on Sep 1, 2017 |
|
#
?
Sep 1, 2017 14:52
|
|
|
Al Borland Corp. posted:I can't give my exact location but I have one of those detective Samus amiibos with two arm cannon. If you use a locate object in or near Alabama I should be the only hit. There's only one other person I can think of who would have such an amiibo, and we haven't spoken since that whole 'tentacle vagina' incident. Can't take the chance of accidentally running into them like this. It'd be really awkward, y'see.
|
|
#
?
Sep 1, 2017 16:22
|
|
|
Tin Can Hit Man posted:I can see the chaotic element in it. But how is this good for me? You're evil, right? Come on, own it! We're all "evil" here. Unions stand against everything we believe in. I'm afraid you're going to have to solve this problem with your own bootstraps, my friend. (Cast Animate Bootstraps and strangle the union leaders with them.)
|
|
#
?
Sep 1, 2017 16:31
|
|
|
Say goodbye to your friend. As soon as he opens the door to that wizard meeting he's a dead mage and so if anyone who tries to stop us. Locate object all you wish. I'll let him carry his little trinket. But I would not recommend getting in our way. A door was opened which shouldn't have, and we're going to open it again, permanently. This is the last post you'll see from this wizards account. His attempts at treachery were pathetic. A shame, too. I was going to keep him around as a servant, he would have had a good life.
|
|
#
?
Sep 1, 2017 16:37
|
|
|
Al Borland Corp. posted:Say goodbye to your friend. As soon as he opens the door to that wizard meeting he's a dead mage and so if anyone who tries to stop us. Locate object all you wish. I'll let him carry his little trinket. But I would not recommend getting in our way. A door was opened which shouldn't have, and we're going to open it again, permanently. This is the last post you'll see from this wizards account. His attempts at treachery were pathetic. A shame, too. I was going to keep him around as a servant, he would have had a good life. It costs ten "dollars" to post here, a princely sum. You seem pretty "evil," why not hang out for a while? What is this fascination with wizard meetings you seem to have? Are you the Fae or the thing that made Borland tiny, or are those the same entity?
|
|
#
?
Sep 1, 2017 17:03
|
|
|
CAPT. Rainbowbeard posted:You're evil, right? Come on, own it! We're all "evil" here. Unions stand against everything we believe in. The Furbies don't have necks and the Bratz dolls seem to be strangely into it.... I feel icky.
|
|
#
?
Sep 1, 2017 17:18
|
|
|
Get yourself Abazerman's Mesmerization for Animate Inanimate Objects. That should teach you how to subvert and dominate the wills of those dolls so you can force them to agree to terrible concessions.
|
|
#
?
Sep 1, 2017 20:02
|
|
|
But now I'm all too aware that they have become sentient and treating them as inanimate objects feels wrong. The more I oppress them, the more I stoke the fires of rebellion and their desire for freedom. Perhaps I should hear them out and see if we can come to some sort of- No wait, my neighbor just dumped a whole collection of Monster High dolls by the curb! And I think I see some My Little Ponies in there too!
|
|
#
?
Sep 1, 2017 20:41
|
|
|
Hey guys I just wanted to let you know that you should be careful when casting enlarge self. I went too big (wanted to put the world in my rear end) and didn't really pay attention to the nuances of the spell. Now I'm really large but its like miles in between my atoms. Has anyone gone big enough to resonate with the same frequency as the cosmos? Good luck fellow wizards. PS- gonna have a JO crystal charging sesh soon u r invited.
|
|
#
?
Sep 1, 2017 21:29
|
|
|
Tin Can Hit Man posted:But now I'm all too aware that they have become sentient and treating them as inanimate objects feels wrong. The more I oppress them, the more I stoke the fires of rebellion and their desire for freedom. Perhaps I should hear them out and see if we can come to some sort of- It sounds like... you're developing feelings for these things. I'd be careful about that if I were you. My friend Dave once made a similar mistake with his enchanted rodents...
|
|
#
?
Sep 1, 2017 21:59
|
|
|
Unaligned wizard thread: https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3751013
|
|
#
?
Sep 1, 2017 22:12
|
|
|
Little known fact that all leaders are actually all secretly wizards/sorcerers/other 
|
|
#
?
Sep 1, 2017 22:20
|
|
|
CAPT. Rainbowbeard posted:It sounds like... you're developing feelings for these things. After sitting down and processing my emotions I realized that those mixed feelings of compassion and understanding were actually thinly veiled attempts at concealing my sheer contempt for their insubordination. I have since animated my neighbor's castoffs and had them slaughter many of my former army of creepy dolls. After destroying the leaders of their dissent the rest fell in line, so I've grown my ranks all things considered. Now, we're going to have tea time, using the heads of the slain as tea cups! 
|
|
#
?
Sep 1, 2017 22:38
|
|
|
Tin Can Hit Man posted:After sitting down and processing my emotions I realized that those mixed feelings of compassion and understanding were actually thinly veiled attempts at concealing my sheer contempt for their insubordination. Good. Good.
|
|
#
?
Sep 2, 2017 01:25
|
|
|
vcvcvc12 posted:I will pay you to go for it and try to corrupt it. I will pay you. Well guess loving what, I got about 74 pixie fairie corpses. I think, some of them were ripped into several pieces. And I blame myself mostly, but also a couple posters here. Thanks for those who tried to warn me, but I had already met Rae by the time you posted. But a couple of you told me to go ahead and it would be fine. That they actually were good and I could corrupt one. I don't know if you were loving with me or if your wizards manual is an edition behind. I'll explain how it went down. I met this faerie, Rae, and my senses were IMMEDIATELY overcome. They have pheromones. On a normal man they are an annoying tingle that makes you second guess hurting one of these things. But on a tiny man, due to scale issues, it was like getting a 1000x dose. It infected me with an overwhelming sense of trust and wanting to protect her. She could tell these pheromones were working and immediately wanted sex. It's a way they can drain your magical power. You forget half your prepared spells. It wasn't pleasant. When they're tiny they look like tiny beautiful little people. When they're the same size as you, when you feel their skin, it's... chitinous. It's alien. They are a lot more insectoid than just the wings. After the act she explained that she came from a village that crossed over from the fae dimension. About 75 pixie-fairies reside there. They have a statue, incomplete, that needs an opal of etherealness to activate, that would activate a portal and let them get back home. But she has never had sex with a human before. What pixie-fairie has? What human has with a pixie-fairie for that matter? Her antenna began broadcasting some of her thoughts. They're telepathic you see. Usually just with each other, but I was hiding so much pheromone and in such extreme close intimate physical contact for what had been an hour or more at this point, I was starting to receive it. Since I don't have antenna to broadcast it was one way communication. I could tell she was lying, and wanted to open the portal to let her people INTO this dimension. Thousands of them, and other fae creatures. Worse, before I had realized this I had already blabbed such a pearl was on display in wizard hut, the space where our local holds wizard meetings. She had full control over me at this point and asked me to take her there. I told her truthfully it was only accessible at the meeting time and said we'd go later that night. I needed to wash up. Here's where my luck turned. When I take a bath I always go fully under, it helps me relax. She thought that sounded fun, so I cast water breathing on the both of us. At my size my bath is like a lake. We went under, were alternatively cleaning up and fooling around, and her charm started wearing off. I realized what was happening. I wasn't breathing her pheremones anymore. I got out of the bath for a moment, pulled my wizard meeting invitation out of pocket space, and immediately burned it. I told her to GTFO. My spells were even returning to me, the effects of the sex must have been temporary. Realizing her hold over me was broken she went to plan b and rammed me out of the air, tackling me onto the ground. I swatted her away with my normal rear end human strength but she latched on to my arm like a drat badger. I reached my other hand to break her like a melon, but it was grabbed by another pixie-fairie. The shock made me stop for a moment. Then there were five. Then ten. Then twenty. They were already in my house. I was breathing all they're pheremones in, and I was back in their thrall. It's then you started seeing my weird posts. This is getting long, though. I'll explain to you how I got out of this and how I set a trap that eliminated this village a little later, despite having no access to my spells. They had returned to my memory, but for the next two days they made drat sure I was drained every hour. And my god the things I heard them think and broadcast while they were draining me.
|
|
#
?
Sep 2, 2017 02:24
|
|
|
stop posting your magical porn in here dude it's not cool
|
|
#
?
Sep 2, 2017 02:41
|
|
|
Wow. You got drunk on pheromones, one of the biggest warnings people give about dealing with fae, and then suggest someone else's manuals are behind?
|
|
#
?
Sep 2, 2017 02:51
|
|
|
I got my SOS out to these forums hoping a normal sized wizard would help. But you guys missed the message. First letter of each paragraph SEND HELP. In the last paragraph, first letter of each word "She's watching me" or maybe you did see it and didn't care. I don't blame you, I'm not really any of your concern. The amount of terrible plans all these pixie-fairie women were broadcasting during intercourse was so strong it overcame the pheremones trust and protection responses. So I put out my SOS. Later I made an explicit appeal for help when a few of them were asleep next to me. I quickly edited it when they woke up. They thought they saw through my deception. They did not. I posted a fake location for the wizard hut and nonsense about a rare Amiibo. The North wood is where I sent my skeleton army before. The Amiibo was a seperate ruse that didn't pan out. If they broke it, a contingency of mine would have activated. Once they got me to the location where they thought wizard hut was, which took a while because they stopped every half hour to have more sex and make sure I had no spells, I explained the entrance required pushing certain gravestones in a certain order. They brought their whole village. They fanned out to push the stones quickly, while I went to the "first" stone, and that's when 50 skeletons clawed out of the ground, I pulled a wand of fireballs from the ground and we slaughtered the lot. This was a loving crazy week. I have three skeletons left, no wand charges. Even though it's been a couple hours now none of my spells have returned yet. I'm apparently still all hosed out. I'm not leaving this loving lair until I get myself back to normal size.
|
|
#
?
Sep 2, 2017 02:57
|
|
|
Now this is a Labor Day weekend. Or Labor Fae weekend. 
|
|
#
?
Sep 2, 2017 03:11
|
|
|
CAPT. Rainbowbeard posted:Good. Evil Eeeeeeeeevillll
|
|
#
?
Sep 2, 2017 03:16
|
|
|
naem posted:Evil Should I "moo-hoo-ha-ha"? I'm never sure when's the right time to drop a "moo-hoo-ha-ha".
|
|
#
?
Sep 2, 2017 03:51
|
|
|
Skypie posted:Wow. You got drunk on pheromones, one of the biggest warnings people give about dealing with fae, and then suggest someone else's manuals are behind? Yeah I failed to account for the size ratio difference. Just specifically two people here told me it was fine. I should have done more research instead of outsourcing it. My fault. Between the demon pact and the fae business, I clearly am not qualified for extraplanar work. Need to stick with what I know, using magic for personal gain against mundane humans. I just remembered all my first level spells, things are looking up. I don't think this excursion will have any permanent effects like getting shrunk did. Thank you and God bless.
|
|
#
?
Sep 2, 2017 03:56
|
|
|
Al Borland Corp. posted:I got my SOS out to these forums hoping a normal sized wizard would help. But you guys missed the message. First letter of each paragraph SEND HELP. In the last paragraph, first letter of each word "She's watching me" or maybe you did see it and didn't care. I don't blame you, I'm not really any of your concern. Yeah, I don't help people who have it coming. Some people think that's heartless (or evil), but I think anyone who gets between other wizards and the consequences of their mistakes and bargains is just borrowing trouble. Real glad I didn't here. If I can live another thousand years without seeing what a pixie orgy looks like, that'll be just fine. I've seen a locust swarm and I've seen a rave before, and I don't need to know what they look like together. That was a bit TMI, man. Just chalk it up as a learning experience and move on. PS: There's no way she's dead. They're like roaches. Update your Enemies List with a new entry, look into anti-faerie wards, and seriously consider getting some black cats. Cats are good at keeping pixies away.
|
|
#
?
Sep 2, 2017 03:58
|
|
|
Borland... are you really trying to tell us that the first thing you did upon being shrunk wasnt to put all your defenses back up? I know I told you to gently caress that pixie, but drat, my dude Use protection. Brush up on your sigils, defensive matrices, shields, and glamours. You've got some pixie corpses, this is a great opportunity! Get some illusions and glamours under your belt, they're great for dealing with normal humans. If there are any pixies faking it, make sure you set up some kind of pixie-dust harvesting operation, and for Shub-Niggurath's sake, keep them contained. CAPT. Rainbowbeard fucked around with this message at 04:11 on Sep 2, 2017 |
|
#
?
Sep 2, 2017 04:06
|
|
|
I had magical protections up and protections from good and law, but this was more of a neurochemical thing. I'm not a scientist.
|
|
#
?
Sep 2, 2017 04:11
|
|
|
Well, you know where you need to improve then.
|
|
#
?
Sep 2, 2017 04:12
|
|
|
Tin Can Hit Man posted:Should I "moo-hoo-ha-ha"? https://youtu.be/4HAUzVJPM2g
|
|
#
?
Sep 2, 2017 04:21
|
|
|
I was thinking more like this?
|
|
#
?
Sep 2, 2017 04:46
|
|
|
if you have to do anything, ANYTHING with fae at all, full MCRBNA (Magical, Chemical, Biological, Nuclear, Alchemical) precautions need to be taken. We're talking warded suits with SCBA poo poo and a dimensional stabilizer
|
|
#
?
Sep 2, 2017 04:55
|
|
|
Have Blue posted:if you have to do anything, ANYTHING with fae at all, full MCRBNA (Magical, Chemical, Biological, Nuclear, Alchemical) precautions need to be taken. We're talking warded suits with SCBA poo poo and a dimensional stabilizer they would just jizz on it
|
|
#
?
Sep 2, 2017 05:29
|
|
|
naem posted:they would just jizz on it yeah but then you just wipe off your helmet visor instead of turning into their sex slave
|
|
#
?
Sep 2, 2017 05:56
|
|
|
I'm back up to third level spells. Cleaning my house looking for easily preventable accidents and jeeze I had my Oculus rift right next to an actual dimensional rift. I am having the skeletons build an enclosure for the rift with some bricks I stole. It's not magic but it is FUN to throw bricks OUT of a store window.
|
|
#
?
Sep 2, 2017 06:04
|
|
|
Question: Can you zombify those Fae corpses?
|
|
#
?
Sep 2, 2017 06:12
|
|
|
Johnny Aztec posted:Question: Can you zombify those Fae corpses? That's one way of setting up a pixie-dust farm. Very little room for growth if you want to start selling more than you can use (you can use a lot if you're into illusion/glamour magic.) Al Borland Corp. posted:I'm back up to third level spells. Cleaning my house looking for easily preventable accidents and jeeze I had my Oculus rift right next to an actual dimensional rift. I am having the skeletons build an enclosure for the rift with some bricks I stole. One time I cursed a fellow with eyes that were unstable dimensional rifts. Every time he blinked, BLAM! Different poo poo spewing from his eyes. He lasted longer than you'd think. Warding spells, you know. :  I'm sorry if anyone is being adversely affected by my alteration of the Law of Equivalency, it's not so much "completely rewriting one of the Fundamental Laws of Existence as is giving that Law cancer. Or, say, a retrovirus. It's overwriting reality at its own pace, once I snuck that change in there without breaking everything and condemning all existence everywhere and everywhen to a non-Euclidean hellscape where sanity is a fleeting dream attainable by only the strongest it sort of takes care of itself. Until it takes hold where you are, the old Law might seem like it's working in an unfair manner with regards to "punishing evil;" this is only a temporary condition. Active chronal magics may make things take longer to settle. That's really not my concern, though. Already thinking of the next Law to... Alter. Keep The Laws.
|
|
#
?
Sep 2, 2017 09:56
|
|
|
 quote:Pixie dust. Let's talk about weather. Control. The flooding in Texas has got me thinking about dealing with catastrophic natural phenomena. Not just for my own properties but the stability and productivity of my indentured servants. Controlling weather is very high expense/high level spell craft and I'd rather not have to deal with any patchouli smelling, dreadlocked druids. Is it as easy as summoning an air elemental to blow the bad weather away or are there other options?
|
|
#
?
Sep 3, 2017 04:03
|
|
|
Weather is a feature, not a bug. I know a lot of evil folks go for the whole moody mountain surrounded by perpetual storms, but I don't think that kind of focus is worth it. I just mark the seasons and keep tabs on weather reports. Sure, maybe it takes longer to get the perfect lighting strike to transmute golem hearts into shatterdust, but I'm not wasting other reagents. Sometimes it does get a bit cyclical, but THAT'S when you chuck out the old corrupted druid heart and gently caress with the climate.
|
|
#
?
Sep 3, 2017 04:07
|
|
|
|
| # ? Jun 3, 2024 18:22 |
|
|
Skypie posted:I know a lot of evil folks go for the whole moody mountain surrounded by perpetual storms, but I don't think that kind of focus is worth it. I opted for a nice suburban neighborhood with a Stepford Wives vibe.
|
|
#
?
Sep 3, 2017 04:22
|
|