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I will run my own fight on Monday if no one else does. Where is the other new commish? We had 2 added right?
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Aug 25, 2017 23:03
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Spermy Smurf posted:I will run my own fight on Monday if no one else does. I didn't get any volunteers this time. Any volunteers?
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Aug 26, 2017 13:04
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Spermy Smurf posted:I will run my own fight on Monday if no one else does. *muffled sounds of mount and blade combat*
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Aug 29, 2017 20:24
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Hey it was fun while it lasted, nothing lasts forever, thanks for coming everyone! 
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Aug 29, 2017 20:26
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I dont know what I was thinking when I said monday. I did an upgrade over the weekend for a customer and I'm still tweaking the poo poo they use once a quarter and didn't bother to test in the test environment. Zeetoo ded?
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Aug 29, 2017 20:26
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Need to get a new comp so I can run these if needed that won't be for awhile
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Aug 29, 2017 21:01
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I was working on an update and was about to post it. I guess you all have to wait another week. Spermy Smurf fucked around with this message at 13:31 on Aug 30, 2017 |
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Aug 30, 2017 00:29
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Jazzimus what have you done
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Aug 30, 2017 00:31
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Confirmed, everything lost in a nightmarish gray hellscape of 'refused to connect'.
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Aug 30, 2017 00:43
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 Let me go fix that. EDIT: The annual hosting was up for renewal TODAY, and I was on autobill, and they DID charge my card and sent me a receipt... I'm bitching at them right now, brb. EDIT2: Hell, maybe I should host this on my home Gbps fiber line instead, which just got hit by Hurricane Harvey and is still truckin' along. Jazzimus Prime fucked around with this message at 02:59 on Aug 30, 2017 |
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Aug 30, 2017 02:54
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 WE ARE BACK I will be demanding an After Action Report from the hosting provider
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Aug 30, 2017 03:18
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And I'm not disappeared as far as running so much as... harried. I don't know that tomorrow or the next day will be great, but I promise* we'll finish up the round this weekend. *guarantee not guaranteed** **but, no, I've actually blocked out time for this
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Aug 30, 2017 04:27
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VERY IMPORTANT MESSAGE Hello there my fellow fans of virtual arena violence. I've never done this before, but... Quite a few of you have asked how you can help the Arena Challenge in any way, even financially. Well, I don't need any of your Armok-drat money. But, you know what? Some of my neighbors do. Anyone who posts a receipt from a donation to a reputable Hurricane Harvey relief charity gets 1000 current-tournament dorfbucks and a DORFCOIN* for each dollar donated! Post a screenshot of the receipt in the Tech Support thread, or e-mail it to my e-mail address in the Tech Support thread, and the dorfbux and dorfcoins are yours. You can even post it in this thread, I don't mind; but I would strongly suggest you mask any personal information and especially any credit card numbers. But you already know that, right? We're on the honor system here, I know that most of us are clever enough to know that it's easy to fake a web receipt screenshot. And we're also all enlightened enough to know that faking a screenshot for virtual dorfbucks means spending eternity in Hell. And I know and love you guys** enough to know none of you would ever do it. Already donated? Great! If I get your receipt, you can double-dip and get Arena credit for what you already gave! If you are not in a position where you can donate, there is no shame in that. And please don't feel obligated to do anything, I'm not trying to lay a guilt trip on anyone. But keep in mind this is your chance to buy your way to a betting title *Dorfcoins, the decentralized virtual currency of the future of the battlefield, have not been implemented yet. But with your donation, you can get them before anyone else! **In the generic non-gendered sense, I would say y'all but non-Texans might not be familiar with that term Jazzimus Prime fucked around with this message at 04:58 on Aug 31, 2017 |
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Aug 31, 2017 04:54
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you should spot anyone hit by Harvey those dorfbux too. They just gotta send in a photo full of blue sevens
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Aug 31, 2017 04:58
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As someone who had to work on Labor day, it saddens me to not see more blood spilled on the arena floor
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Sep 5, 2017 07:23
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Rip arena challenge My poor dorf didn't even get to score
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Sep 5, 2017 10:02
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Round 2, Fight 2 Totally not everyone throwing spear (0-1) is on the left side of the arena. Hurly (Spermy Smurf) is a female strangler. She wields a wooden shield and an iron pilum and wears no armor. Punching Bag (Galick) is a male troll. He is empty handed and wears an iron helm, two iron mail shirts, an iron breast plate, iron leggings, iron gauntlets, and iron high boots. Ihadtoknow (habituallyred) is a female soldier ant woman. She wields two iron throwing axes and wears no armor. Bling swing (Selious) is a male minotaur. He wields two silver bucklers and wears a bronze cap. Feels A Bit Chilly (1-0) is on the right side of the arena. Bowbold the Bold (Dance Officer) is a male dwarf. He wields an iron crossbow and wears no armor. Naked Snake (astus) is a male serpent man. He wields an iron large dagger and wears no armor. Polybolos in Strangler Camo (AJ_Impy) is a male strangler. He wields two iron pilums and wears no armor. Fourlearned Is (Coward) is a female molemarian. She wields a copper spear and a wooden shield and wears no armor.  Feels A Bit Chilly is a 1.36 to 1 betting favorite in this match with 5500.00 dwarfbucks in total bets placed on them, compared to 4033.00 dwarfbucks for Totally not everyone throwing spear.  The nudists on the right have completely foregone armor in favor for weapon skill. Lets see how that turns out.   Hurly, probably the best gladiator to have ever graced the arena, lands a direct hit to Bowbolds right leg. The bone crumples, ACL and MCL are snapped, and Bowbold falls to the floor. IHadToKnow takes Bowbolds bolt through her second right arm. And now it's 2v2 in the center of the arena. Punching Bag does what he does and takes a punch that snaps his head back while Bling Swing blocks three consecutive attacks on his buckler.  Troll blood flies to mix with moleman blood and snakeman blood. Bling Swing crushes Naked Snakes left arm with his buckler, and aside of some general scratching (which tears skin and bruises bone) not much damage is being done.  Four more projectiles launch. Two pictured above, 2 immediately after. One bounced off of Punching Bags breastplate, other is blocked by Hurlys shield.  And now Totally not everyone throwing spears is all in.  IHadToKnow axes the already-wounded snake and down goes Naked Snake. Another strike takes his head.  Fourlearned is the lone enemy while four weapons fly at the moleman. Two projectiles fly into the crowd, and then Polybolos charges. Punching Bags armor turns another of Bowbolds arrows while Polybolos last javelin punches through IHadToKnow's thorax and pierces her heart.  The plucky antwoman is still in the fight though.  Bling Swing takes a minute from his day to reflect on the days events.  Fourlearned loses an arm, and then Hurly stabs the moleman in the back foot and the sheer force from the blow travels up the moleman and twists the spine so badly that the moleman is now paralyzed from the waist down. ****IMAGE MISSING****Polybolos arrives and loses a leg completely to IHadToKnow's axe. Down goes the lesser strangler. At the same time the Greater Strangler (Hurly) stabs Fourlearned's arm in half and the moleman bleeds out.  Bowbold launches another arrow to save Polybolos, but all it does is pierce IHadToKnow's thorax for a second time.  It's 4v1. Punching Bag wrenches the iron pilum from the stranglers weak grasp. Polybolos loses a second leg to Bling Swings buckler and the now-unconscious strangler loses his head to IHadToKnow's axe.  And now it's just 4v1 and it's just an archer.  Oh come on, gently caress this game.  The dwarf is down and severely wounded and can't keep up with 4 enemies. Hurly gets the kill with Punching Bag helping with his stolen pilum. Totally not everyone throwing spears wins with a decisive 4-0 victory. Kills: Hurly: 2 IHadToKnow: 2 Combat Log 
Spermy Smurf fucked around with this message at 19:02 on Sep 5, 2017 |
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Sep 5, 2017 19:00
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Shot through the heart, but I'm too late. I give launchers a bad name.
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Sep 5, 2017 19:50
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Combat Log posted:Bling Swing_TOTES strikes Fourlearned_FEELS in the upper body with his silver buckler, bruising the muscle, jamming the left true ribs through the heart and tearing apart the heart! Turns out you don't need much of a heart or brain to fight, though I lost track of how many parts of Fourlearned had been exploded into gore. Nice to see our team put in work after all that waiting
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Sep 5, 2017 20:00
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AJ_Impy posted:Shot through the heart, And you're to blame
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Sep 5, 2017 20:11
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Apparently enemy archers just hate Bowbold.
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Sep 5, 2017 20:13
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Astus posted:Apparently enemy archers just hate Bowbold. It's bad luck that he's on top (first one to get targeted) and doesn't have a shield.
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Sep 5, 2017 20:58
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A heartless execution of the enemy team. Just what I wanted when I picked an ant. Incidentally real ants do have a central circulatory pump. Edit: Also new round points are in, so get going. habituallyred fucked around with this message at 23:42 on Sep 5, 2017 |
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Sep 5, 2017 22:51
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Yay! 4 for 4 on bets this past round! Now to gently caress it up for next round. :V
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Sep 6, 2017 01:58
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The playoff picture for this tournament is very simple: The winner of Totally not everyone throwing spear vs. Arm Reduction is in The winner of Three Strong Women & Frick vs. Feels A Bit Chilly is in The winner of Big Trouble vs. Morning Routine is in The winner of The Windy Whirly Farters vs. Projectile Vomit actually doesn't matter at all because Projectile Vomit is already in and The Windy Whirly Farters are already eliminated
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Sep 6, 2017 18:27
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OK, I've updated my fighter! You can start the next round now!
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Sep 6, 2017 22:11
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Updated and ready to die again
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Sep 6, 2017 22:17
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Fuubi posted:OK, I've updated my fighter! You can start the next round now! Oh, I didn't even realize! Updated as well.
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Sep 6, 2017 22:17
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I will update in like 5 hours after I get off work.
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Sep 6, 2017 23:48
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I will be unable to update my fighter if there's anything to do for the Shaver of Beards due to the inbound hurricane and will be evacuating, sorry.
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Sep 7, 2017 00:28
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Cythereal posted:I will be unable to update my fighter if there's anything to do for the Shaver of Beards due to the inbound hurricane and will be evacuating, sorry. Could probably have a commish or jazzimus update them for you
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Sep 7, 2017 01:18
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Punching Bag is still a punching bag.
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Sep 7, 2017 02:31
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verbal enema posted:Could probably have a commish or jazzimus update them for you Place I've currently evaced to has internet. Updated.
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Sep 7, 2017 17:59
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Disaster survival tips: 1) Get out of the zone of immediate danger 2) Update your fighter 3) Locate a water supply
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Sep 7, 2017 18:07
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Clean water supply. There's water aplenty as is.
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Sep 7, 2017 18:13
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It doesn't really need to be clean. That's a myth. The human body has ways to shut it down if it's legitimatly unclean water. Or is that just women that have that ability? I am so bad with human biology.
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Sep 7, 2017 18:26
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If you put a well on top it's good to go.
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Sep 7, 2017 19:19
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My fighter is Updated and ready to fling copper javelins uselessly while his outnumbered teammates die in the middle of the arena, losing me thousands of dorfbux.
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Sep 8, 2017 03:47
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Has everyone updated their fighters yet, where is the blood
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Sep 12, 2017 09:54
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Update ya fighters ya bums
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Sep 13, 2017 00:02
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