/r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

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maskenfreiheit: Dec 30, 2004

Barudak posted:

Check your state's Lemon Laws

# ? Sep 6, 2017 04:04

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 31, 2024 00:46

maskenfreiheit: Dec 30, 2004

My (24F) boyfriend's (23M) mom hates me because I won't buy makeup from her

quote:

So, my boyfriend and I will have been dating for 5 years now next month. My relationship with him is great. In the same vein I've known my boyfriend's mom for the same amount of time pretty much. Before the last seven or eight months she was always very welcoming to me. She's divorced from my boyfriend's dad and lives alone now, and my boyfriend tries to visit her a lot, and I have often gone with him. We were also friends on Facebook.

What changed was that BM started selling Younique. For anyone who hasn't heard of them they're a MLM cosmetics company. Ever since BM has seen me as a target to sell things to. First it was asking me to "play with" her boxes of Younique junk whenever I came over her house and trying to tell me that it was the same quality as my MAC cosmetics. So I stopped going over. Then it was tagging me constantly in pictures and videos of her doing Younique looks and posting dumb #bossbabe memes. I unfollowed her but I still get FB messages asking to come over and look at her new Younique poo poo, or to come to her party, or to join her team.

I've constantly told her that I can't afford to spend a ton of money on makeup. That stuff is really expensive! She always parrots back the same retorts I've always seen Younique presenters say. I've tried to get my boyfriend to have her tone it down. BM just tells him she's trying to run a small business and that he needs to get out of her way.

A couple weeks ago, my boyfriend took her out for dinner for her birthday. I went because it was a special occasion and it was the first time I'd seen her in four months. BM hassled all the women at the table about Younique. Finally, I caved. What harm would it be to humor her on her birthday, I thought? I bought one of those 3D Fiber lash mascaras from her.

It was horrible, the fibers fell into my eyes so much that it made them swell up and I almost went to the hospital. I messaged BM to ask for advice-I didn't even want my money back. She blew up at me. It was like she took me asking about the mascara as a personal attack. She told me I was a horrible person, that I had never supported her "small business", that I was a negative hater, and that I was an awful girlfriend for her son.

Now BM has been telling my boyfriend that I'm the most selfish person she's ever met and that he won't be welcome under her roof unless he breaks up with me. My boyfriend has assured me we're not breaking up, and that he'd rather wait for his mother to come to her senses. I feel so guilty for coming between him and his own mom though. Is there any way I can fix this...besides buying more eye exploding mascara?

tl;dr: My boyfriend's mom tried to sell me MLM makeup for months, I avoided her growing harassment until it all came to a head a couple of weeks ago. Now she's cut out my boyfriend until he breaks up with me, because she's so mad I don't "support" her.

# ? Sep 6, 2017 04:12

DJ Fuckboy Supreme: Feb 10, 2011; And when you stare long into the abyss, you become aggressively, terminally chill

Throw mom from the train

# ? Sep 6, 2017 04:22

Outrail: Jan 4, 2009; www.sapphicrobotica.com

maskenfreiheit posted:

My (24F) boyfriend's (23M) mom hates me because I won't buy makeup from her

"Hey BM, have you heard of Herbalife? It's really changed my life and I want it to change yours... I really hope you'll be supportive of my small business."

# ? Sep 6, 2017 04:33

Haifisch: Nov 13, 2010; Objection! I object! That was... objectionable!; Taco Defender

maskenfreiheit posted:

Is there any way I can fix this...besides buying more eye exploding mascara?

# ? Sep 6, 2017 04:35

Haifisch: Nov 13, 2010; Objection! I object! That was... objectionable!; Taco Defender

My close friend's gf is a total nightmare with food and now my fiance doesn't want her at our wedding

quote:

Background

A close friend of mine, lets call him Rick, has a gf who is a total nightmare with fussiness over food. Let's call her Jen.

Jen has been anorexic in the past for sure - really thin, periods stopped, weighing far to little for her height (5'9" and close to 100Ibs). Now she's really fussy about food, even though she's put on a little bit of weigh and looks healthier. Doesn't eat dairy, doesn't eat processed food, only eats organic, doesn't eat gluten (although she doesn't have CD), doesn't eat starch (so no potatoes or pasta) or grains (no rice).

We recently had an evening out with friends with 16 people and she came. We paid for it as it was a special occasion and the night cost $1900, food and drinks, at a Michelin starred restaurant. Before the night we sent menus to everyone and Jen wasn't sure she was going to come because she was worried she wouldn't be able to eat.

We compromised by letting her choose something that could be on the menu (you chose a custom cut-down menu so they can cater for all 16 people) that she could tolerate. On the evening she hardly touched it and as we were leaving I and my fiancee overheard her saying to Rick "Let's go home. I'm starving." Other people would have heard too.

I can't lie - I was pretty put out by the whole thing. They didn't have to pay a drat thing and she seemed to try to make everything about her during the build up. That little comment at the end really annoyed me for a bit.

Problem

We've got choices on our wedding menu, for starters and main. Starter is duck or smoked salmon. Main is veal or risotto.

At first Jen said she'd just have the risotto as she doesn't agree with veal (regardless of whether it is ethical veal or not but that's another story). We got clarification from everyone and now she's decided she can't have the risotto because GRAINS. She was telling me she has some lovely salmon and then went on to say she couldn't have the smoked salmon starter because it's (apparently) made by curing in sugar water first. I don't know why this would even be an issue for her.

I told her the caterers smoke their own salmon and she seemed to accept it but when she passed the phone back to Rick I heard her moaning in the background that she can't have smoked salmon. Oh, and she said she doesn't want to make a fuss and she'll bring her own food.

My fiancee is furious now. After the restaurant issue and now this she's decided that Jen is a liability, that even if we tell her not to bring her own food to our wedding that she might and thus annoy us and ruin the day.

I don't know what to do.

Well, I do - I'm going to un-invite her but I know Rick is going to be upset by this and when he tells our other friends some of them might side with Jen in saying we're unreasonable. I really think Jen is nuts to be honest, an attention seeking hypochondriac who uses her issues to get Rick's attention and get attention on to her all the time. I think I have to un-invite her and see how the chips fall.

Just wanted to get that off my chest.

tl;dr: My fiancee doesn't want my friend's fussy gf at our wedding.

Edit: Just so you know what Jen is like. 10 people arrived at her and Rick's house to go to a famous Indian restaurant near them that none of us had been to before. We'd planned this for months. 5 minutes before leaving Jen started moaning about how her stomach felt delicate and she wouldn't be able to have spicy food. We all ended up going to a Tapas place and we've never been to that Indian.

EDIT 2: People are asking why this bothers us. I'll tell you. First, it's really tacky bringing your own food. Second, we've catered for all the dietary restrictions of all our guests and even that isn't good enough for her. We've people of every faith, people with food intolerances coming and everyone but her is fine.

And if she does bring her own food it'll draw attention to her. We don't want anyone thinking we didn't provide for her (how are people at the next table along going to know when they see it?) or refused to accommodate a normal diet request. She's also quite vocal about things (as you can tell from the OP) and we just don't want her making a fuss.

Finally - why not just choose the next best option for herself, eat beforehand and bring a snack to have discreetly without telling us about it and making it an issue. One of our friends has a serious medical condition that means she is on a low protein diet (auto-immune kidney disease) and she doesn't make a fuss at all. This just seems incredibly disrespectful to us.

# ? Sep 6, 2017 05:16

Absurd Alhazred: Mar 27, 2010; by Athanatos

Haifisch posted:

My close friend's gf is a total nightmare with food and now my fiance doesn't want her at our wedding

Disinvite Jen, and Pickle Rick, and all the other fussy eater enablers. Less assholes, better wedding!

# ? Sep 6, 2017 05:29

MachineryNoise: Jan 13, 2008; So I shout "Set your life on fire!"

Jen and then go ahead and put Rick out of his misery, too.

# ? Sep 6, 2017 05:31

boner confessor: Apr 25, 2013; by R. Guyovich

Haifisch posted:

My close friend's gf is a total nightmare with food and now my fiance doesn't want her at our wedding

i'm going to break with the pack and say i hope fussy jen ruins this ridiculously bougie wedding by showing up with the wrong color shoes or whatever sets these people off

# ? Sep 6, 2017 05:33

Absurd Alhazred: Mar 27, 2010; by Athanatos

boner confessor posted:

i'm going to break with the pack and say i hope fussy jen ruins this ridiculously bougie wedding by showing up with the wrong color shoes or whatever sets these people off

Hell, I'm okay with that, too!

Then :thermidor:

# ? Sep 6, 2017 05:33

maskenfreiheit: Dec 30, 2004

Absurd Alhazred posted:

Disinvite Jen, and Pickle Rick, and all the other fussy eater enablers. Less assholes, better wedding!

The proper response to someone using their sadbrains as an excuse to raise hell at your wedding whisper in her ear: "everything has calories, maybe you should just dance" and watch her nosedive back into full anorexia

# ? Sep 6, 2017 05:34

Absurd Alhazred: Mar 27, 2010; by Athanatos

A failparents twofer:

My [23F] parents [55F/62M] bought a house they can't afford. Now they want my savings. Do I have to give them my money?

quote:

So my parents bought a house that is way out of their budget. It costs twice as much as they can afford. I strongly recommended them not to buy it and to wait. They hoped to get money from my late grandpa's inheritance, but that didn't work out as planned. But they already signed the contract and made a deposit. They have to pay the remaining money until next month or else they will lose the house and the deposit.

Now on to my problem. They know I have quite an amount of savings. Most of it came from my grandma as a graduation gift, she specifically wants me to buy a car from it. I have been actively looking for a used car that is good enough since she gave me the money. I planned to buy it this month, because my post-grad program starts next month and I would like to use it to drive to university and my work place. I am currently using public transportation and it's a pain in the rear end in my area lol. My parents went to the bank and asked for a loan, but the amount they will be getting wont be enough to fully pay off the house. So now they want my savings (and btw also my brother's savings) for the remaining amount. When I initially heard that they don't have enough money for the house, I offered them help. But now I regret it, because now they fully rely on my money instead of looking for alternatives, like selling their other property or possessions and I really need and want a car.

I don't know what to do. Should I do as I promised and give them my money (I wont get it back at least the next couple of years, maybe never since now they see it as a family investment)? I feel like an rear end in a top hat if I don't do it, they are my parents and I want to help them. But I also have a bad concscience towards my grandma, she wanted to give me a special present and I think she would not want me to spend it on something else. Should I tell her? She will definitely ask me about the money if I don't buy a car soon. So Reddit, what is the right thing to do in this situation?

EDIT: Thank you all so, so much for your advice. I couldn't answer everyone, because I'm at work and have to be sneaky with my phone lol. But I read all of your comments and took them to heart. You helped me realize that not wanting to give them the money is not selfish, but a valid thing to want. I have to think about what is best for me too sometimes. I will call my parents and tell them that I really need the car and maybe help them find a different solution.

EDIT 2: Oh my god I didn't expect so many comments. Thank you all so much! I'm sorry that I can't answer you all individually, I'm a little overwhelmed by the amount. So the dreaded phone call happened after I returned home from work. I didn't know if I should make a new post or update here, but since the story is not over yet I will do it here. So during the phone call I got some new information. They have time to pay the money until the middle of December. I don't know if they initially told me a different date (=next month) to make it more urgent so that I will feel more pressure or if the date simply changed. Some people had problems understanding the circumstances of the whole house purchase, I'm also confused but maybe I didn't explain it right (English isn't my first language). So a guy called "the investor" sold them the house. I guess he's also the guy who built it and owned it. My parents gave him one third of the price in advance as safety or something and until a certain date they have to pay the rest of the price. There was no bank involved so far. So during the phone call I heard for the first time that not only my parents will take a loan from the bank, but also my brother. These loans are not specifically given for the house, in my country you can get a certain loan according to your salary. So my parents will get 20k and my brother also 20k. I was a little shocked that my brother would do this, since he wanted to buy his own house for him and his family soon. I guess these plans are off the table for now. So I was on the phone with my mother and told here that I found a car that I would like to purchase (that was kind of a lie, I just saw some interesting offers) and that I need my money for that right now. I also explained how important it was for me and so on. She paused for a moment and asked how much the car costs. I told her the exact amount my grandma gave me. Then my mother said I should buy the car. She apologized for asking for the money and told me she understood that it would be the right thing to do for me to buy it. She said I shouldn't worry about the house, they will find a way to pay it. And here was the moment I made a huge mistake. I currently work two jobs, one of them is a summer job for only 1 month, but my boss asked me if I could work for another month. I planned to say no to the offer, because then I would work until university starts again and I would have liked to have some time to relax and prepare instead. The thing is my brother told my mother about my bosses offer right before my phone call (they talked on the phone before I spoke to my mother). So like the idiot that I am I offered her to say yes to my boss and give here my earnings from this month and the next one, that would be 3k. She was satisfied with this solution. But I regretted it instantly. I hate this stupid job and to do it for another whole month would be torture. I tried to back paddle immediately and said that there has to be a better solution. I reminded them of their other property and suggested that they should at least borrow the missing amount from my uncle who wants to buy the property. It could be like a down payment until they find an acceptable price for both parties or give it back eventually. My uncle's finances are way better than mine and I know he's a good guy and would help them out. My mother agreed to discuss this option with my father. We will see how that will turn out, but at least I could save the money my grandma gave me. I just find it sad that my brother will have debt because of my parents, he really should think about himself, his wife and kid first. But he gets very angry whenever I try to give him (financial) advice, so I guess I have to accept that it's his problem now.

tl;dr: Parents want my savings for a house they can't afford. But the money was a present from my grandma to buy a car. Should I give them the money anyways?

Me [27 F] with my mom [50s F] went nuts when I refused to buy a townhouse with her.

quote:

I guess this is part vent, part advice request. Some background to frame my relationship with my mom:

All my life my mom has alternated between being a pretty good mom to being kind of a lovely one. There are times where she made sure I did extracurriculars at school, listened to my concerns, took me places, etc. And there were stretches where she hit me, gaslighted me, and sometimes there wasn't enough to eat or I couldn't have my asthma meds all the time. Mom herself isn't "all there" in the head. It's hard to put into words, but I'm sure you've all met someone who just seemed . . . off. Not necessarily in a good or bad way, just . . . off. That's my mom.

For example, when I finally got her abusive boyfriend out of the house once and for all, she pouted in her room for days asking if "I was happy now that I ruined her life".
She threw a tantrum when she lost the insurance sticker for her license plate and blamed me until I had to skip a college class to get her a second one. And when I say "tantrum", I mean screaming, slamming doors, crying, etc.

Put dirty dishes heaped with day-old food by the sink and refused to clean until I finally had to do it.

Bought a puppy from a sketchy breeder and refused to do any training for it/pay any costs for it whenever puppy was not in her room . . . which was most of the time. Threw a blow-out tantrum when I took the puppy to the animal shelter because I had neither time nor money for this pup.

I put up with all of this because I wouldn't have been able to afford college without a place to live--my mom's place. It was pure suffering for five years but I left with a computer science degree and only 20K or so in debt.

When I left home, I went low contact. During that time, mom seemed to mature a bit. Definitely more level-headed, less childish, a lot more respectful to me, etc. It happened around the time she became severely physically disabled. She's been selling stuff off and has amassed about 100K, which she wants to use as a down payment for a townhouse in my state. She wants us to live together.

As someone tired of living in apartments (or houses with roommates), it sounded tempting. Then came the red flags:

She wants the mortgage in my name only. She'll pay me monthly.

While I believe she's changed to some degree, if you're touched in the head you're probably never going to be completely better.

Also, if we were to both stop paying our fair share of the mortgage in a sort of "stand off", I will lose more than she will. Any talks of making her a renter that I can evict would have ended badly.

She told me--not asked, told--that I would be taking her to a "nice restaurant every weekend, but sometimes Del Taco will be okay".

She wants a puppy of a rare breed. Mom doesn't have the finances to afford the 2K+ this puppy will probably cost. She doesn't have the money for vaccinations, training, etc. But who does have the money? Meeeeeee.

While I make decent money, if too many things go wrong at once, or if mom doesn't keep to her end of the bargain for whatever reason, or if she insists on her stupid rare breed puppy, I'm afraid of how bad my budget would be blown for that month(s).

All of these flags came at me at once and I said to myself, "I see a snake."

In an effort to prevent mom from melting down, I told her that I wasn't comfortable buying a townhouse with her because I wanted the mobility that renting granted.

We were talking over the phone and she started wailing how she couldn't afford to live alone, how family is supposed to stick together, she can barely walk, etc. I told her it just wouldn't be possible. We went in circles like this for an hour, at which point she started asking if I was going to put her in a "whore house nursing home". I told her that we would not be having this conversation anymore and hung up.

She blew up my phone and email over the next week. I let the calls go to voice mail and her emails--all 75 of them--got filtered to a special inbox. She threatened to kill herself at X Hotel, so I called the cops. They didn't take her away, I guess, because a few hours later I got a bunch of scathing texts.

Finally, I called her and told her that we're both too drat old for this poo poo. I told her that we weren't buying a townhouse together for any reason, EVER. I told her that it wouldn't be possible and that my mind is 100% don't-gently caress-with-me made up on the matter.

So the calls, emails, and texts stopped, but mom has been pissing and moaning at whoever will listen. I've heard from my grandparents, aunts (the uncles seem sane, lol), a couple of my cousins, etc. It's a seemingly never-ending stream of me telling people my reasons, the finality of my decision, etc. I'm ready to cut a whole lot of people out but aside from this insanity, I actually like the rest of my family. As you can probably guess, I'm no-contact with mom now.

I am too old to be playing stupid games like this. I don't know what to do.

tl;dr: Mom flipped out when I wouldn't buy a townhouse with her. Drags family into it to be her flying monkeys. Getting tired of this and don't know what to do. Please help.

# ? Sep 6, 2017 05:39

Megillah Gorilla: Sep 22, 2003; If only all of life's problems could be solved by smoking a professor of ancient evil texts.; Bread Liar

Haifisch posted:

[23F] Feeling like a hired cook for SO [26M] and his two roommates.

And once again, the story doesn't contain any mention of getting either of the two men to get up off their arses and to the cooking themselves.

# ? Sep 6, 2017 06:08

Smirking_Serpent: Aug 27, 2009

Husband [28M] subscribed to "The Red Pill" and now I [27F] feel manipulated.

My (27f) husband (28m) and I have been together for 6 years, married for 3. We welcomed our first child just over a year ago. Since the birth of our son, our marriage has been really rough. During the first few months after he was born, my husband had a mental breakdown. He couldn't handle Fatherhood and I had no support whatsoever. He finally agreed to go to counseling, and it helped, but he stopped after maybe 5 or 6 sessions.

Anyway... A few days ago my husband left his Reddit account logged in on the computer. I found it and went through it. (I feel somewhat guilty, but not really considering what I found.) He follows the 'marriedredpill' subreddit. Curious, I looked into it and I'm horrified at what The Red Pill encourages. He started acting strange about 6 months ago and I questioned him for weeks about what was going on and he just dismissed me like I was crazy until he finally admitted that he was just trying to improve on some things. Please understand, Hubby has taken a backseat in life for as long as I've known him. He's always been lazy and unmotivated, so for our entire relationship I've been the "take charge" person, because if I didn't, nothing would ever get done.

My sister-in-law said it best when she said, he's always needed someone to push him. I told him I fully supported him, but he doesn't need to hide anything from me. Well, his behavior became increasingly disrespectful and just downright mean. Examples from over the last 6 months: --- One night he kind of hinted that he wanted sex, but it was vague so I flat out asked him. His response, Only if you're into it. No sex is better than bad sex. (Wtf?!?! Didn't realize there was a problem there, but still a super rude way to bring it up!) --- Started dressing up and insisting on leaving the house for weird reasons. (Made me furious thinking he was cheating) --- When we argue, he'd just tell me the conversation was over and leave, leaving nothing resolved. He also once laughed at me when I was telling him how upset he made me. (I hit the roof! Just thinking about that makes my blood boil.) --- He'd make plans without asking me and would basically just tell me that we're going. --- If he thought I was ordering him around because I didn't say please or thank you, he'd go on a power trip. He said he was trying to "train" me.

Anyway, since reading about The Red Pill obsessively over the last few days, I'm seeing where these new behaviors are coming from. I'm shocked and disgusted that he would try to 'ghost' or 'dread' me. I've never felt so manipulated in my life. The past 6 months feel like mental and emotional abuse and I don't know how I can ever trust him again. I know I need to bring it up and talk to him about it, but what the hell do I say?! And if he thinks he can treat me horribly to make me into a submissive wife, is the marriage over already? I'm so incredibly lost.... Any advice is appreciated!

TL;DR: My husband [28M] subscribed to "The Red Pill", and he has been actively engaged and involved in that community; I [27F] feel manipulated.

# ? Sep 6, 2017 06:53

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

Your marriage is over. So that's one problem solved.

# ? Sep 6, 2017 06:59

andrew smash: Jun 26, 2006; smooth soul

Kill him probably

# ? Sep 6, 2017 06:59

mllaneza: Apr 28, 2007; Veteran, Bermuda Triangle Expeditionary Force, 1993-1952

I want to see the long-term revenge plan that comes from studying MRP techniques and turning them against the RP person like some Jackie Chan relationship action.

# ? Sep 6, 2017 07:03

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

mllaneza posted:

I want to see the long-term revenge plan that comes from studying MRP techniques and turning them against the RP person like some Jackie Chan relationship action.

You just know the same tactics would immediately crumple one of these contemptible fucks.

# ? Sep 6, 2017 07:05

Danaru: Jun 5, 2012; 何 ??

Incident with Large Horse at Ren Faire (UT-USA)

quote:

I was with the family at a RenFest. Wife, kids and 2 young grandkids, one in stroller. I am carrying Glock 17(9mm) IWB. Family is relaxing on grass. TINY lady rides by on a LARGE (draft) horse. The horse starts to spook, and almost knocks a kid over. Lady tells the kid to watch out, horse spooks even more. Lady gets off horse. I get up and put myself between horse and family. Lady appears to have hard time controlling horse from ground. Horse looks more and more agitated. Horse starts moving erratically and heads toward me. I puff up raise my hands and contemplate my next move. I decided that my point of no return would be if the horse reared or bucked. Still not sure what would have been correct action? Do I draw and fire on the horse? 9MM vs large draft horse? Do I stand my ground and hope the horse backs off? Do I wait until the rider takes control? What would you do?

A horse was scared near me, I'm allowed to open up on it right

Also yes his entire history is posting in /r/ccw with ~~fantasies~~ hypotheticals about when they can shoot brown people

# ? Sep 6, 2017 07:07

mllaneza: Apr 28, 2007; Veteran, Bermuda Triangle Expeditionary Force, 1993-1952

Pick posted:

You just know the same tactics would immediately crumple one of these contemptible fucks.

Hence the "long-term" aspect; you have to allow for how broken the RP person is and indulge some subtlety.

# ? Sep 6, 2017 07:08

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

Danaru posted:

Incident with Large Horse at Ren Faire (UT-USA)

A horse was scared near me, I'm allowed to open up on it right

Also yes his entire history is posting in /r/ccw with ~~fantasies~~ hypotheticals about when they can shoot brown people

hahaha a draft horse will do nothing if you do literally anything short of shooting it. if you shoot it, it will kill you.

# ? Sep 6, 2017 07:10

Proteus Jones: Feb 28, 2013

Pick posted:

hahaha a draft horse will do nothing if you do literally anything short of shooting it. if you shoot it, it will kill you.

Yeah, big rear end workhorses aren't "thought of bees and died" they're "thought of bees and stomped the next thing it saw into a bloody paste"

# ? Sep 6, 2017 07:16

Megillah Gorilla: Sep 22, 2003; If only all of life's problems could be solved by smoking a professor of ancient evil texts.; Bread Liar

How many rounds from a 9mm before a clydesdale would even notice it was being shot?

# ? Sep 6, 2017 07:30

Outrail: Jan 4, 2009; www.sapphicrobotica.com

mllaneza posted:

Hence the "long-term" aspect; you have to allow for how broken the RP person is and indulge some subtlety.

I'm guessing these guys are insecure manbabies. All she has to do I get dressed up and go out with a girlfriend once or twice a month and refuse to tell him where she's going and he'll be utterly convinced he's being cucked.

Is there a pink pill or something for women dealing with this? Or just a straight up women's version of red pill?

# ? Sep 6, 2017 07:30

The Lone Badger: Sep 24, 2007

Danaru posted:

Do I wait until the rider takes control? What would you do?

I would get the gently caress out of its way.
I mean, how is this even a question?

# ? Sep 6, 2017 07:30

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

aaa! it's charging!! where's my 9mm???

# ? Sep 6, 2017 07:31

Barudak: May 7, 2007

The Lone Badger posted:

I would get the gently caress out of its way.
I mean, how is this even a question?

Hes in the midst of a fantasy of blowing his entire load from his undersized gun on a horse, forgive him for not having anything after that planned out.

# ? Sep 6, 2017 07:33

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

Barudak posted:

Hes in the midst of a fantasy of blowing his entire load from his undersized gun on a horse,

ill say !

# ? Sep 6, 2017 07:38

La Brea Carpet: Nov 22, 2007; I have no mouth and I must post

Barudak posted:

Hes in the midst of a fantasy of blowing his entire load from his undersized gun on a horse, forgive him for not having anything after that planned out.

Sounds like a real stable guy who was just feeling his oats that day.

# ? Sep 6, 2017 07:55

burial: Sep 13, 2002; actually, that won't be necessary.

Outrail posted:

Is there a pink pill or something for women dealing with this? Or just a straight up women's version of red pill?

I am both terrified and intrigued. I kind of hope both things exist; the former because people probably need help dealing with this, the latter because it'd be a whole new sea of likely equally disturbing content.

# ? Sep 6, 2017 08:03

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

Outrail posted:

I'm guessing these guys are insecure manbabies. All she has to do I get dressed up and go out with a girlfriend once or twice a month and refuse to tell him where she's going and he'll be utterly convinced he's being cucked.

Is there a pink pill or something for women dealing with this? Or just a straight up women's version of red pill?

it's called Cosmo , and they tell you to put a donut on his penis and eat it off

# ? Sep 6, 2017 08:06

burial: Sep 13, 2002; actually, that won't be necessary.

Pick posted:

it's called Cosmo , and they tell you to put a donut on his penis and eat it off

While I can see how this technique might help secure the relationship (which is maybe one of the MarriedRP goals? I have no loving clue) it isn't exactly mean. I think you're supposed to be unnecessarily mean.

# ? Sep 6, 2017 08:15

Megillah Gorilla: Sep 22, 2003; If only all of life's problems could be solved by smoking a professor of ancient evil texts.; Bread Liar

Pick posted:

it's called Cosmo , and they tell you to put a donut on his penis and eat it off

Grapefuit

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wD7PKKstAcg&t=151s

# ? Sep 6, 2017 08:16

monkeytennis: Apr 26, 2007; Toilet Rascal

Pick posted:

it's called Cosmo , and they tell you to put a donut on his penis and eat it off

I thought it was a grapefruit.

Edit: drat you Gorilla Salad!

# ? Sep 6, 2017 08:20

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

monkeytennis posted:

I thought it was a grapefruit.

There are definitely multiple food/penis schema, but I definitely know the donut one and yes there's probably a way to make it cruel. I mean cosmo also had that tip where you get him all excited and then you flick the tip of his dick really hard with your fingernails or pinch him on the balls . look we're trying is my point.

# ? Sep 6, 2017 08:21

burial: Sep 13, 2002; actually, that won't be necessary.

Pick posted:

There are definitely multiple food/penis schema, but I definitely know the donut one and yes there's probably a way to make it cruel. I mean cosmo also had that tip where you get him all excited and then you flick the tip of his dick really hard with your fingernails or pinch him on the balls . look we're trying is my point.

I've read Cosmo. Never saw the "attack the genitals" advice. My source must have been redacting poo poo to throw me off the trail.

e: Keep up the good work?

vvv I have never done any of those things. I don't explore life enough.

burial fucked around with this message at 08:40 on Sep 6, 2017

# ? Sep 6, 2017 08:36

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

lemon-lyme disease posted:

I've read Cosmo. Never saw the "attack the genitals" advice. My source must have been redacting poo poo to throw me off the trail.

http://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/news/a38477/things-guys-secretly-do-with-their-penis/

Bend it TO ITS EXTREME POINT.

# ? Sep 6, 2017 08:38

venus de lmao: Apr 30, 2007; Call me "pixeltits"

Haifisch posted:

My [23/F] dad [50/M] sucks the joy out of any decision I make. I’m getting engaged soon and instead of being excited about it, I have this massive knot in my stomach knowing I’ll have to tell him.

This is like a gender-swapped version of my relationship with my mother. :sigh:

# ? Sep 6, 2017 08:45

Fil5000: Jun 23, 2003; HOLD ON GUYS I'M POSTING ABOUT INTERNET ROBOTS

Pick posted:

There are definitely multiple food/penis schema, but I definitely know the donut one and yes there's probably a way to make it cruel. I mean cosmo also had that tip where you get him all excited and then you flick the tip of his dick really hard with your fingernails or pinch him on the balls . look we're trying is my point.

I knew a girl at uni who put Ralgex on a dude's dick and then went with him to A&E and told the nurses why she did it to make sure he got no sympathy, that's a good one.

# ? Sep 6, 2017 08:49

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# ? May 31, 2024 00:46

myDad: Jan 20, 2010; ce n'est pas ma m�re; College Slice

Pick posted:

There are definitely multiple food/penis schema, but I definitely know the donut one and yes there's probably a way to make it cruel. I mean cosmo also had that tip where you get him all excited and then you flick the tip of his dick really hard with your fingernails or pinch him on the balls . look we're trying is my point.

nice.

# ? Sep 6, 2017 08:54

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