2019-2023 Marine Thread: Maybe the 2017 Army thread with a new coat of paint

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Internet VFW > 2019-2023 Marine Thread: Maybe the 2017 Army thread with a new coat of paint

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mlmp08: Jul 11, 2004; Prepare for my priapic projectile's exalted penetration; Nap Ghost

Change your underwear inside your sleep sack. It's easy.

# ? Sep 4, 2017 18:27

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# ? May 14, 2024 06:08

Mustang: Jun 18, 2006; “We don’t really know where this goes — and I’m not sure we really care.”

Well yeah but apparently I can't even change my shirt in front of women in the Army.

# ? Sep 4, 2017 18:35

not caring here: Feb 22, 2012; blazemastah 2 dry 4 u

Ahhhh, I remember being yelled at for calling someone a dick in front of a woman soldier, and then got yelled at again for asking how exactly that's sexual harassment.

It's what happens when males have no idea how to function around women.

# ? Sep 4, 2017 18:41

mlmp08: Jul 11, 2004; Prepare for my priapic projectile's exalted penetration; Nap Ghost

Mustang posted:

Well yeah but apparently I can't even change my shirt in front of women in the Army.

lmao your unit is dumb. But hey I guess change your shirt in there too, problem solved.

# ? Sep 4, 2017 18:46

maffew buildings: Apr 29, 2009; too dumb to be probated; not too dumb to be autobanned

Flip the script and set the tone for your warriors and scream MOLON LABE and WE ARE THE SPARTANS while making eye contact with the female guards and entering another man

# ? Sep 4, 2017 18:49

its curtains for Kevin: Nov 14, 2011; Fruit is proof that the gods exist and love us.

Just kidding!

Life is meaningless

I spent my Sunday on a raft on the Illinois river, wearing a unkempt beard and a fake boat captain's hat, drinking lager and taking turns pushing my friends off the side.

gently caress the army

(Lifestyle sponsored by deployment funds)

# ? Sep 4, 2017 18:51

Mr. Nice!: Oct 13, 2005; c-spam cannot afford

maffew buildings posted:

Flip the script and set the tone for your warriors and scream MOLON LABE and WE ARE THE SPARTANS while making eye contact with the female guards and entering another man

But the marine thread is over there.

# ? Sep 4, 2017 19:12

UP THE BUM NO BABY: Sep 1, 2011; by Hand Knit

its curtains for Kevin posted:

I spent my Sunday on a raft on the Illinois river, wearing a unkempt beard and a fake boat captain's hat, drinking lager and taking turns pushing my friends off the side.

gently caress the army

(Lifestyle sponsored by deployment funds)

I spent my Sunday smoking weed, playing video games, cooking bomb food, and chilling with my dogs. Lifestyle sponsored by VA bennies. gently caress you if you're still in

# ? Sep 4, 2017 19:13

A Bad Poster: Sep 25, 2006; Seriously, shut the fuck up.

Don't need weapons guards if you don't bring weapons. Checkmate :smuggo:

# ? Sep 4, 2017 19:30

Wasabi the J: Jan 23, 2008; MOM WAS RIGHT

Mustang posted:

Well yeah but apparently I can't even change my shirt in front of women in the Army.

Our squad had one woman who didn't give a gently caress and we figured out not changing in front of each other for two whole weeks.

# ? Sep 4, 2017 19:57

Soulex: Apr 1, 2009; Cacati in mano e pigliati a schiaffi!

Are the women afraid of seeing nipples?

#freethenipple

# ? Sep 4, 2017 20:54

Soulex: Apr 1, 2009; Cacati in mano e pigliati a schiaffi!

A Bad Poster posted:

Don't need weapons guards if you don't bring weapons. Checkmate

This is literally how I survived NTC. Can't get into a firefight if you're viewed as a Non-combatant because you don't have a weapon for the entire cycle. That and pro masks. Didn't have to lug those fuckers around either.

# ? Sep 4, 2017 20:55

boop the snoot: Jun 3, 2016

I walked outside and held my arms out and faced the sky like Andy in Shawshank every time we got "mortared" and when we got attacked or in any firefights I was playing hero trying to get shot so that I could go to the "infirmary" and hang out instead of doing JRTC bullshit.

Never died one loving time in three and a half weeks.

# ? Sep 4, 2017 21:45

psydude: Apr 1, 2008

Bruce Boxlicker posted:

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

This guy gets it. "E4 that tailed contractors around on service jobs in a hungover haze, you know deep level unix networking and CCNP/CCIE level cisco poo poo, right? No? You just spent your whole time deployed and haven't touched anything worse than excel for 3+ years? But you have a clearance and will lie about your skillset and experience right? Here's a $200k+/year contract. Oh you're crazy too... Hmm well can you just stop smoking pot until after the piss test and tell the psych people everything is ok?" - My literal experience.

Federal IT at least within the intel community IS contractors, friend. Add that clearance and a deployed job site and we would have spit in your face at $90k. I had just started a family, gone crazy and started smoking pot when I got out though so that didn't work out for me but I'm just saying that as military IT people, we exclusively were hired out as contractors after ETS'ing. I received offers from CACI/Genesis and some other rando's when I got out for example. Years after my clearance has expired and I still get recruiters (contracting, not military obviously) contacting me occasionally.

Civilian agencies tend to have more technical federal IT staff on hand (I've been to a few that were almost entirely fed, which is surprising in this day and age). DoD does to an extent, but it's mostly contractors. JSOC and the IC are entirely contractors with a GS-14 overseeing them.

# ? Sep 4, 2017 22:32

Wasabi the J: Jan 23, 2008; MOM WAS RIGHT

Soulex posted:

Are the women afraid of seeing nipples?

#freethenipple

She's married with two boys I think she's had enough crusty balls and sweaty noodle armed boys.

# ? Sep 4, 2017 22:40

Mustang: Jun 18, 2006; “We don’t really know where this goes — and I’m not sure we really care.”

Supposedly if you die this rotation they have you fill sand bags before being revived to make it suck so that people don't try to die.

With how hot it is that's a huge dick move, especially for the people that are trying to do well out there.

# ? Sep 4, 2017 23:16

Aranan: May 21, 2007; Release the Kraken

My JRTC rotation involved us working in a SCIF that was notionally back in the states. So we slept in "Afghanistan" and walked to "US" to work every shift. We had a guard at the entrance ('cause SCIF) and everyone inside would just drop all their armor/ACHs and work without them. On day shift (I was nights), our FOB got overrun by OPFOR and they tried to storm the SCIF. It caused a scene and my PSG came out yelling at people, telling OPFOR they can't come in, etc. But he didn't have his helmet. So he died.

Another plus is that when we set up the SCIF, there was some big rear end artillery gun pointed right over our Trojan. They were planning on firing blanks (or whatever, I don't know artillery poo poo) but wound up having to take the gun down. In its place was an outline in white engineer tape to be a notional gun that had to be guarded and "fired."

Fun times!

# ? Sep 4, 2017 23:21

Suntan Boy: May 27, 2005; Stained, dirty, smells like weed, possibly a relic from the sixties.

Mustang posted:

Supposedly if you die this rotation they have you fill sand bags before being revived to make it suck so that people don't try to die.

With how hot it is that's a huge dick move, especially for the people that are trying to do well out there.

This would be a unit thing; the NTC side doesn't give a gently caress what you do with your notionally dead, as long as they don't wind up at Starbucks.

Not my problem anymore, though. I'm gonna go look at my dd214 for a while, then go to the dog beach.

# ? Sep 4, 2017 23:30

Wasabi the J: Jan 23, 2008; MOM WAS RIGHT

God is there a single loving training exercise that isn't an exercise in stupidity?

Like training is supposed to challenge you and give you learning moments, but it always turns into a retard version of Simon Says, with guns.

# ? Sep 4, 2017 23:32

Kaliber: Jun 17, 2005

Mustang posted:

Well yeah but apparently I can't even change my shirt in front of women in the Army.

That's dumb. Your unit is dumb. Do you guys not have females in the companies yet?

And at least you aren't light infantry in NTC. We went in May. Nights were freezing and when we did all our walking. Day was 100+, no shade and when we did security and slept. It was loving miserable and just a week long march march with some react to contact here and there. We were told to air assault with rucks (Watching us get into the Blackhawk and out was hilarious. They had to close the door so the rucks wouldn't spill out and when we landed, the crew chief had to get out and pull rucks off us because we were stuck. Apparently the entire company ran into the same issue.), so no one bought assault packs to save weight. I know that sounds dumb. But ounces=pounds. Especially when we had over 100lbs of bullshit to carry for the entire rotation. About a day or two into it, they realized no one could make it more than a day with our rucks so they put it on trucks. So only 10-15 people had their assault packs. But we couldn't fit anything like sleeping bags, cold weather gear or woobies cause we HAD to bring our full mopp bullshit.

Kaliber fucked around with this message at 23:49 on Sep 4, 2017

# ? Sep 4, 2017 23:37

EBB: Feb 15, 2005

gently caress the army forever, gently caress you if you're still in

# ? Sep 5, 2017 00:08

boop the snoot: Jun 3, 2016

Kaliber posted:

That's dumb. Your unit is dumb. Do you guys not have females in the companies yet?

And at least you aren't light infantry in NTC. We went in May. Nights were freezing and when we did all our walking. Day was 100+, no shade and when we did security and slept. It was loving miserable and just a week long march march with some react to contact here and there. We were told to air assault with rucks (Watching us get into the Blackhawk and out was hilarious. They had to close the door so the rucks wouldn't spill out and when we landed, the crew chief had to get out and pull rucks off us because we were stuck. Apparently the entire company ran into the same issue.), so no one bought assault packs to save weight. I know that sounds dumb. But ounces=pounds. Especially when we had over 100lbs of bullshit to carry for the entire rotation. About a day or two into it, they realized no one could make it more than a day with our rucks so they put it on trucks. So only 10-15 people had their assault packs. But we couldn't fit anything like sleeping bags, cold weather gear or woobies cause we HAD to bring our full mopp bullshit.

Just wanna say I'm not reading any of this because the army sucks and by association the longer a post in this thread is the more it sucks by default

# ? Sep 5, 2017 00:09

milk milk lemonade: Jul 29, 2016

NUKES CURE NORKS posted:

Just wanna say I'm not reading any of this because the army sucks and by association the longer a post in this thread is the more it sucks by default

It's a Kaliber post so if you crushed it up and snorted it you'd be living on-post with your contract wife who camwhores on the side and her three kids who you escape primarily by driving your retardedly expensive motorcycle around while drunk before you know it

# ? Sep 5, 2017 00:13

its curtains for Kevin: Nov 14, 2011; Fruit is proof that the gods exist and love us.

Just kidding!

Life is meaningless

i smoke joints rolled off of paper with kaliber posts on it

# ? Sep 5, 2017 04:00

Soulex: Apr 1, 2009; Cacati in mano e pigliati a schiaffi!

Wasabi the J posted:

God is there a single loving training exercise that isn't an exercise in stupidity?

Like training is supposed to challenge you and give you learning moments, but it always turns into a retard version of Simon Says, with guns.

Tell that to 1/25 SBCT whose learning moment was to do a weapons check in the direction of a town that you are about to enter to help evacuate residents.

# ? Sep 5, 2017 06:03

Wasabi the J: Jan 23, 2008; MOM WAS RIGHT

Soulex posted:

Tell that to 1/25 SBCT whose learning moment was to do a weapons check in the direction of a town that you are about to enter to help evacuate residents.

Wait was this Afghan 2011? Because this sounds like stories from out in the town of Qalat :staredog:

# ? Sep 5, 2017 07:07

Naked Bear: Apr 15, 2007; Boners was recorded before a studio audience that was alive!

gently caress Qalat. Who puts a main route right through the tightest part of that town? I don't mean Highway 1, but the road entering the city from the south which forces you through a choke point with a two story concrete wall on one side and a wheel-swallowing drainage ditch on the other. The Stryker's RPG cage would be an inch off the wall while its opposite wheel track would be right on the edge of that ditch.

The only route in that area with a higher pucker factor was one that had a section with a steep side slope on loose dirt and a very high number of IEDs, and which was also within line of sight of an ANP station (you can do that math on that one).

# ? Sep 5, 2017 08:22

Icon Of Sin: Dec 26, 2008

Soulex posted:

Tell that to 1/25 SBCT whose learning moment was to do a weapons check in the direction of a town that you are about to enter to help evacuate residents.

Smart money says this was A Co 1-5, if it was the 2011-2012 deployment.

# ? Sep 5, 2017 12:46

Soulex: Apr 1, 2009; Cacati in mano e pigliati a schiaffi!

NTC rotation. Not Afghanistan but I wouldn't put it past them. Maybe they we're so bad in NTC that the Army was like "hahaha no idiot"

# ? Sep 5, 2017 16:20

Ashmole: Oct 5, 2008; _{This wish was granted by Former DILF}

I'm at Ntc again after leaving here 40 days ago from another rotation lmao

# ? Sep 6, 2017 05:45

A Bad Poster: Sep 25, 2006; Seriously, shut the fuck up.

Ashmole posted:

I'm at Ntc again after leaving here 40 days ago from another rotation lmao

Welcome to hell!

# ? Sep 6, 2017 05:56

Mustang: Jun 18, 2006; “We don’t really know where this goes — and I’m not sure we really care.”

Aren't you also a 19A? You here as an OC?

# ? Sep 6, 2017 06:32

Ashmole: Oct 5, 2008; _{This wish was granted by Former DILF}

Mustang posted:

Aren't you also a 19A? You here as an OC?

Dang, you got a good memory. I haven't posted in a few years. We did a R and S rotation and now I'm here for LTP getting ready for the next one.

# ? Sep 6, 2017 14:23

psydude: Apr 1, 2008

I thought you were getting out during the mass Exodus of YG11?

# ? Sep 6, 2017 14:36

Triggs: Nov 23, 2005; Tango Down!

There are a few of us poor schmucks from YG11 still left. Just biding time.

# ? Sep 6, 2017 18:38

Ashmole: Oct 5, 2008; _{This wish was granted by Former DILF}

psydude posted:

I thought you were getting out during the mass Exodus of YG11?

I'm YG12 because of how my BOLC date worked out but definitely thought about it

# ? Sep 6, 2017 19:55

boop the snoot: Jun 3, 2016

YG69 says gently caress u if ur still in

(I don't know what YG is)

# ? Sep 6, 2017 20:07

UP THE BUM NO BABY: Sep 1, 2011; by Hand Knit

Year Group I'm pretty sure

# ? Sep 6, 2017 20:09

tyler: Jun 2, 2014

YG420666

# ? Sep 6, 2017 21:53

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# ? May 14, 2024 06:08

mlmp08: Jul 11, 2004; Prepare for my priapic projectile's exalted penetration; Nap Ghost

Triggs posted:

There are a few of us poor schmucks from YG11 still left. Just biding time.

I wonder what YG spacetoaster is. He's definitely the highest YG army person in who posts in here. Unless one of you is some old fogie who's been out forever and ever but still posts.

Congrats on your 6 yrs of service raise.

# ? Sep 6, 2017 21:55

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Internet VFW > 2019-2023 Marine Thread: Maybe the 2017 Army thread with a new coat of paint

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