Anonymous Confessions: I had an extremely weird dream that's going to become relevant

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loquacius: Oct 21, 2008

quote:

The whole do therapy thing is a dangerous thing, because it can make you be honest with yourself, and leave you no further to a happier place with that truth.

I'm deeply in love with my closest friend and I have been for as long as I have known her. I'm married (to someone else, as is she) and happy and in love with my wife- we had issues and worked on them, we have walked hard paths together. We have happy and healthy kids (see the hard paths together). But there isn't a day goes by without me thinking about her. We talk all the time about anything and everything to the point where I'm careful to try and hide from my wife just how much, and how deeply we chat, like it's a guilty secret. Because, the way I feel, it is. I have the same feelings for my wife, just not quite as much/as strong.

I don't know how for sure how she feels. Sometimes I feel she is hinting at it vaguely like I do on occasion, but I never have the guts to press it. She has lived away for a few years, other end of the country, but we still go out of our way to see each other when we can. The last time we met we did discuss whether things would have been different between us if we had not met our respective spouses and we both went shy and rosy cheeked super quick and changed the subject.

I couldn't leave my wife and kids. But I can't stop thinking about her. I can't bring myself to risk loving up the friendship with something as dangerous as honesty, but I also can't stop myself from dreaming about being with her. Just little things like taking a walk, having a meal or holding each other close and watching a film. I'm a guilty coward who sometimes tries to console himself with the concept of feeling this depth of emotion must at least be worth something.

Before, I just used to block this out quite successfully with lots of denial and scotch. gently caress you therapy. gently caress you indeed.

yeah uh I feel obligated to point out that blocking something out with denial and scotch is not a sustainable strategy

I'm gonna go back to another frequent thread piece of advice here though: poo poo or get off the pot. Accept your life, or change it. The sooner you pick one of those options the better.

quote:

the first girl I ever loved I met on the internet - she lived on the other side of the country and was a friend-of-a-friend. we talked and got really close and to this day I still wonder if she liked me back or if she was just stringing me along for fun. anyway after rebuking my numerous advances (while still happily accepting any gift I felt like sending her) I dropped the facade of not being a Nice Guy and bitched her out, and she dumped my rear end immediately. Over the course of the next few months I kept dropping anonymous hatemail in her various inboxes across social media, at one point sending an incredibly dark violent sexual threat to the poor girl. she has since completely wiped her internet presence and goes by a pseudonym now. I've made a couple attempts to reconnect with her and apologize (no idea if she knows the anon hatemail was me or not), but sometimes I just have a psychotic episode and just try to lash out at her. I feel like a monster. I am a monster. How would anyone possibly say those things to someone they claim to have loved? I haven't had a healthy relationship since which is probably karma's doing. but it's probably not enough.

Yeah bud that ain't karma, that's your issues resurfacing. Please stop trying to contact this girl; there is no outcome here which will satisfy you. To quote E/N, closure comes from within. You have to turn that corner yourself; there's no reason to believe someone you've stalked and harassed will or can help you do it. A professional of course CAN help you etc etc etc etc but either way you have to realize that your goal is to get over it and you can't do that if you're still fixated on getting her approval.

# ? Sep 6, 2017 15:42

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# ? May 9, 2024 23:33

Neutrino: Mar 8, 2006; Fallen Rib

Anxious-sex goon. All you can do is keep trying. Lots of people self-medicate to lower anxieties and inhibitions. I hear X gets you over the hump, so to speak.

# ? Sep 6, 2017 15:59

Bust Rodd: Oct 21, 2008; by VideoGames

Hey "I love my best friend guy", my hot take is you just want to gently caress her because you are a dude and it's almost physiologically impossible for men to develop emotional and psychological attachments to (genetically unrelated) women without at least part of your brain wanting to get in their bizness

Like what changes if you're best friend suddenly knows that you are in love with her? Is that different than what she currently understands: you are both very close and both have very strong connection and attachment to one another and care for one another deeply. You both have spouses, you both don't need each other, but you are close.

You already have the relationship you want from this woman, look into your heart and ask yourself "if I confess to my BFF and she says she feels the same way but we can never, ever sleep together will it have been worth it to tell her, and possibly alienate myself from her household or jeopardize my own marriage?"

(If you tell her she'll tell her husband and he'll call your wife, so don't pull the trigger unless you think getting to spend more time with a woman who already really cares about you is worth loving up 4 people's lives)

Also at all all the feshes where people are like "I don't think Therapy would work!":

It would work. The therapists skill and approach or pretty important, but the bulk of therapeutic development comes from you. The therapist is going to be a blank slate for big chunks of you talking and projecting your own fears and inadequacies and so on into them, and literally only after multiple repeated sessions will you start to recognize your own patterns and predilections. Therapy won't work if you don't put the time into the sessions and reflect on them, but nobody posting anything in this thread is "is too crazy or far gone" for therapy, you just all want the crooked comfort of thinking you are too crazy to be helped so you are off the hook about taking responsibility.

Go get therapy it's literally the smartest thing everyone in this thread could do for themselves. You aren't the Joker or Charles Manson, you just had some sad in your brains.

# ? Sep 6, 2017 16:12

Theophany: Jul 22, 2014; SUCCHIAMI IL MIO CAZZO DA DIETRO, RANA RAGAZZO

2022 FIA Formula 1 WDC

quote:

The whole do therapy thing is a dangerous thing, because it can make you be honest with yourself, and leave you no further to a happier place with that truth.

I'm deeply in love with my closest friend and I have been for as long as I have known her. I'm married (to someone else, as is she) and happy and in love with my wife- we had issues and worked on them, we have walked hard paths together. We have happy and healthy kids (see the hard paths together). But there isn't a day goes by without me thinking about her. We talk all the time about anything and everything to the point where I'm careful to try and hide from my wife just how much, and how deeply we chat, like it's a guilty secret. Because, the way I feel, it is. I have the same feelings for my wife, just not quite as much/as strong.

I don't know how for sure how she feels. Sometimes I feel she is hinting at it vaguely like I do on occasion, but I never have the guts to press it. She has lived away for a few years, other end of the country, but we still go out of our way to see each other when we can. The last time we met we did discuss whether things would have been different between us if we had not met our respective spouses and we both went shy and rosy cheeked super quick and changed the subject.

I couldn't leave my wife and kids. But I can't stop thinking about her. I can't bring myself to risk loving up the friendship with something as dangerous as honesty, but I also can't stop myself from dreaming about being with her. Just little things like taking a walk, having a meal or holding each other close and watching a film. I'm a guilty coward who sometimes tries to console himself with the concept of feeling this depth of emotion must at least be worth something.

Before, I just used to block this out quite successfully with lots of denial and scotch. gently caress you therapy. gently caress you indeed.

This is just 'grass is greener' garden variety bullshit. You put this person on a pedestal and they seem like the better option but you have no idea of what the reality would be like (hint: it never matches the romantic dream). The sooner you put all that poo poo to bed and focus on what you have - which by your own admission you worked hard at and love - the sooner you'll forget about it.

Stop engaging with this person to the level that you feel guilty is a good place to start.

# ? Sep 6, 2017 16:12

Police Automaton: Mar 17, 2009; "You are standing in a thread. Someone has made an insightful post."
LOOK AT insightful post
"It's a pretty good post."
HATE post
"I don't understand"
SHIT ON post
"You shit on the post. Why."

Get both drunk together, have shameful sex and then use the drunkenness as an excuse.

Also therapy literally killed a goon (probably) itt

# ? Sep 6, 2017 18:51

TehRedWheelbarrow: Mar 16, 2011; Fan of Britches

Police Automaton posted:

Get both drunk together, have shameful sex and then use the drunkenness as an excuse.

tried this. did not work well.

# ? Sep 6, 2017 18:53

wesleywillis: Dec 30, 2016; SUCK A MALE CAMEL'S DICK WITH MIRACLE WHIP!!

sneakyfrog posted:

tried this. did not work well.

You probably had whiskey dick.

# ? Sep 6, 2017 21:08

TehRedWheelbarrow: Mar 16, 2011; Fan of Britches

wesleywillis posted:

You probably had whiskey dick.

eh she started talking about leaving her husband and saying things... it just caused complications is all im saying.

# ? Sep 6, 2017 21:22

The Mighty Moltres: Dec 21, 2012; Come! We must fly!

quote:

In love with best friend

In an alternate timeline, you're married to this woman and are friends with your current wife. I'd bet money that you have the same problem. It's a "something you can't have" situation.

# ? Sep 7, 2017 00:12

Crab Dad: Dec 28, 2002; behold i have tempered and refined thee, but not as silver; as CRAB

See if she swings.

# ? Sep 7, 2017 00:55

maskenfreiheit: Dec 30, 2004

just smell her dirty laundry like a normal person

# ? Sep 7, 2017 00:59

SSJ_naruto_2003: Oct 12, 2012

gently caress her husband to assert yourself as the dominant male in the pack and then you can gently caress either woman at your leisure while he supports all 4 of you. Hth

# ? Sep 7, 2017 00:59

Solice Kirsk: Jun 1, 2004; .

loving your best friend is a good way to insure they aren't your best friend anymore. I've crossed that bridge twice and neither worked out well for any of us. Stop talking to her as much and it will slowly go away until you get to a point where its a healthy sustainable friendship.

Or just gently caress her. Live your life man, but it won't be what you think it'll be.

# ? Sep 7, 2017 02:32

wesleywillis: Dec 30, 2016; SUCK A MALE CAMEL'S DICK WITH MIRACLE WHIP!!

Just think about her while you jerk off.
Or while you bone your wife.

# ? Sep 7, 2017 11:44

A Strange Aeon: Mar 26, 2010; You are now a slimy little toad; The Great Twist

wesleywillis posted:

Just think about her while you jerk off.
Or while you bone your wife.

Trying to figure out if this would work. If it's all mental, does it harm anyone? Or would doing so make it harder to actually get over having sexual feelings at all, which is the better solution?

# ? Sep 7, 2017 13:13

Solice Kirsk: Jun 1, 2004; .

A Strange Aeon posted:

Trying to figure out if this would work. If it's all mental, does it harm anyone? Or would doing so make it harder to actually get over having sexual feelings at all, which is the better solution?

The best solution is to chop he dick off.

# ? Sep 7, 2017 18:07

loquacius: Oct 21, 2008

quote:

I love this thread and all previous iterations of it. A recent confession prompted my first ever anonymous confession.

A goon sent it a confession about finding a numbers station and calling a phone number and the various odd events that have plagued him since. Loq, I appreciate you removing that number, but I know full well what it is. That number was <REDACTED AGAIN>. I know because that number is under my jurisdiction.

And everything he said in that confession point exactly to that number, which I've since disconnected. So thank you, anonymous goon, for finding a flaw in a covert CIA spy network.

He was almost completely right about everything. It was a way for agents to update their location and quickly get updates on missions and targets. It's also completely independent of the rest of "the grid" and would function in the event of an EMP, nuclear blast, or any kind of major disaster.

We have a lot more out there, and I hope for his sake this goon doesn't go prodding around where he doesn't belong again.

That black van following him was just paranoia. But he didn't notice the guy checking his gas meter was new. Just a friendly reminder if you are reading this.

I love America and the American people and would give my life for any of you. But I also understand the phrase "necessary casualties". Chalk this up to a bad mistake and helping to idiot proof a government system and call it a day.

Now let's hear more about dudes jacking off while wearing their wife's high heels or whatever.

I don't believe this is true or anything but he did in fact name the correct phone number

quote:

I use exclusively women's toiletry products. I'm a 30s white male.

It all started in my 20s. I awoke one morning to find that my deodorant had caused a strange chemical burn in my armpits. I didn't put it together that it was the deodorant for several more days as the burns got worse. I figured I'd developed an allergy to something in the deodorant and sought alternatives. I tried men's anti-perspirants, which worked for a while, until I developed an allergy to something in the anti-perspirants as well, which caused it to have the opposite effect: I would sweat like a drat pig anytime my body temp rose even a bit. So I'd have pit stains practically all day, every day.

I then tried a different brand of conventional, non-perspirant deodorant. While I didn't have an allergic reaction, it just didn't work. My pits would be stinky 6 hours after waking up. One time I went to the grocery store, and picked out the wrong deodorant without realizing it. It was an anti-perspirant. Well, this won't do. I noticed my gf's deodorant on the counter, said gently caress it and used some of it.

I realized when I got home from work that day, that my pits didn't smell. At all. The next day I pretended I was just now realizing that I had bought the wrong deodorant, and if she would mind if I used hers. Of course she said go ahead. The next day I told of her how well her deodorant worked for me, and went and bought my own stick of the same brand.

This led to me trying things like women's perfume, skin products and the like. It's so much easier on my skin than men's products.

That's it. I know this turned out to be rather boring because there's no fantasy twist.

Well, bye.

# ? Sep 7, 2017 18:46

got any sevens: Feb 9, 2013; by Cyrano4747

Why bother with perfume?

# ? Sep 7, 2017 18:52

Fintilgin: Sep 29, 2004; Fintilgin sweeps!

loquacius posted:

I don't believe this is true or anything but he did in fact name the correct phone number

Same "confessor".

# ? Sep 7, 2017 19:11

loquacius: Oct 21, 2008

Fintilgin posted:

Same "confessor".

seems likely yeah

# ? Sep 7, 2017 19:17

Solice Kirsk: Jun 1, 2004; .

Post the number loq!

edit:
or PM it to me

# ? Sep 7, 2017 19:17

Zzulu: May 15, 2009; (â°ËvËâ°)

Step 1: don't make hot female friends. IF you insist on making female friends, ensure that they are too fat to gently caress
Step 2:

# ? Sep 7, 2017 19:21

DACK FAYDEN: Feb 25, 2013; Bear Witness

got any sevens posted:

Why bother with perfume?

Instead of cologne, I guess?

# ? Sep 7, 2017 19:49

burial: Sep 13, 2002; actually, that won't be necessary.

Solice Kirsk posted:

Post the number loq!

edit:
or PM it to me

I kind of want it too. I could do with the government getting all up in my fries.

# ? Sep 7, 2017 20:27

Theophany: Jul 22, 2014; SUCCHIAMI IL MIO CAZZO DA DIETRO, RANA RAGAZZO

2022 FIA Formula 1 WDC

I want the number too. Mainly because I'm not a US citizen and gently caress all y'all.

# ? Sep 7, 2017 20:33

DandyLion: Jun 24, 2010; disrespectul Deciever

Its practically an SCP post.

Anyways its fake. Number stations aren't used like that (though you gotta love the creativity).

# ? Sep 7, 2017 21:04

Crab Dad: Dec 28, 2002; behold i have tempered and refined thee, but not as silver; as CRAB

Zzulu posted:

Step 1: don't make hot female friends. IF you insist on making female friends, ensure that they are too fat to gently caress
Step 2:

Too fat to gently caress is a pretty flexible measurement once booze gets introduced. Though too much booze and whiskey dick saves you.

# ? Sep 7, 2017 21:10

Johnny-on-the-Spot: Apr 17, 2015; That feeling when he opens
the door for you

Please post a trip report if anyone calls the fake CIA number, I hope it's some sort of phone sex hotline, or something else equally amusing.

# ? Sep 7, 2017 21:33

text me a vag pic: May 18, 2007

Zzulu posted:

Step 1: don't make hot female friends. IF you insist on making female friends, ensure that they are too fat to gently caress
Step 2:

jokes on you ill gently caress any lady who gives me the time of day :getin:

# ? Sep 7, 2017 21:47

Solice Kirsk: Jun 1, 2004; .

Johny-on-the-Spot posted:

Please post a trip report if anyone calls the fake CIA number, I hope it's some sort of phone sex hotline, or something else equally amusing.

Gonna call from my work phone tomorrow just in case it's a weird sex line. Saying I wrote down a client phone number wrong is more reasonable than paying for telephonic porn in 2017. No matter the risk to my livelihood.

# ? Sep 7, 2017 22:35

tangy yet delightful: Sep 13, 2005

Zzulu posted:

Step 1: don't make hot female friends. IF you insist on making female friends, ensure that they are too fat to gently caress
Step 2:

No one hot is fat. Source, myself.

# ? Sep 7, 2017 23:41

Fintilgin: Sep 29, 2004; Fintilgin sweeps!

DandyLion posted:

Anyways its fake. Number stations aren't used like that (though you gotta love the creativity).

Imagine having to send out the Black Vans and install cameras in peoples electrical meters every time someone accidentally called your numbers station.

Explains budget overruns. :lol:

# ? Sep 7, 2017 23:48

christmas boots: Oct 15, 2012; To these sing-alongs 🎤of siren 🧜🏻‍♀️songs
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With all of my 😡anger I scream🤬 and shout📢
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Fintilgin posted:

Imagine having to send out the Black Vans and install cameras in peoples electrical meters every time someone accidentally called your numbers station.

Explains budget overruns.

Haha, I would love a story about one of those secret black ops agencies and about the accountants who need to get people to fill out expense reports

# ? Sep 7, 2017 23:59

Runaktla: Feb 21, 2007; by Hand Knit

Zzulu posted:

Step 1: don't make hot female friends. IF you insist on making female friends, ensure that they are too fat to gently caress
Step 2:

Hot female friends are great if you treat them like a sister you get along well with, and don't make it obvious you'd really wish you could get in their pants 24/7. Be nice, treat them a lil better than you would a guy friend, enough to be pleasant but not enough to feel like they can disrespect you. If you play that role well and still kept your man card they will eventually want you though. Otherwise, they introduce you to other hot friends of theirs. 1 hot girl can lead you to 4-5 hot girls.

# ? Sep 8, 2017 02:08

Johnny-on-the-Spot: Apr 17, 2015; That feeling when he opens
the door for you

fruit on the bottom posted:

Haha, I would love a story about one of those secret black ops agencies and about the accountants who need to get people to fill out expense reports

"All these receipts are blacked out, how am I supposed to know if it's valid work related purchase?"

# ? Sep 8, 2017 02:16

sugar free jazz: Mar 5, 2008

Solice Kirsk posted:

The best solution is to chop he dick off.

yeah, no, this is actually good advice

# ? Sep 8, 2017 02:18

got any sevens: Feb 9, 2013; by Cyrano4747

Runaktla posted:

Hot female friends are great if you treat them like a sister you get along well with, and don't make it obvious you'd really wish you could get in their pants 24/7. Be nice, treat them a lil better than you would a guy friend, enough to be pleasant but not enough to feel like they can disrespect you. If you play that role well and still kept your man card they will eventually want you though. Otherwise, they introduce you to other hot friends of theirs. 1 hot girl can lead you to 4-5 hot girls.

Lol

# ? Sep 8, 2017 02:36

Stunt_enby: Feb 6, 2010; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

Runaktla posted:

Hot female friends are great if you treat them like a sister you get along well with, and don't make it obvious you'd really wish you could get in their pants 24/7. Be nice, treat them a lil better than you would a guy friend, enough to be pleasant but not enough to feel like they can disrespect you. If you play that role well and still kept your man card they will eventually want you though. Otherwise, they introduce you to other hot friends of theirs. 1 hot girl can lead you to 4-5 hot girls.

Source your quotes, please.

# ? Sep 8, 2017 02:42

Runaktla: Feb 21, 2007; by Hand Knit

Yeah what was I thinking seriousposting that type of advice in gibbis.

# ? Sep 8, 2017 05:15

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# ? May 9, 2024 23:33

Doctor Malaver: May 23, 2007; Ce qui s'est pass� t'a rendu plus fort

Hot women have much more dating options than friends and they have even fewer male friends. They don't tend to risk losing a good friend to get a date/sex. As for meeting their hot girlfriends... I'd rather count on your hot guy friend (gay or straight) doing that.

Stuntman posted:

Source your quotes, please.

Malaver, Doctor. Virgin diaries. Self published, 2017.

Malaver, Doctor. Letters to M'lady. Self published, 2003.

Malaver, Doctor. "Friendzoning: Expressing Failure and Assigning Blame on Social Media" Something Awful E/N Collection 35.2 (2007)

# ? Sep 8, 2017 07:20

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