- VivaLa Eeveelution
- Apr 3, 2011
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Are you seriously offering me a life with no school and awesome cats? Where do I sign?
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Sep 9, 2017 04:19
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- Adbot
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ADBOT LOVES YOU
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May 9, 2024 21:44
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- Mister Olympus
- Oct 31, 2011
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Buzzard, Who Steals From Dead Bodies
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Join the circus, and turn to Page "put the book down and pick up the sequel to the spooky carnival one."
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Sep 9, 2017 06:24
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- Ratatozsk
- Mar 6, 2007
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Had we turned left instead, we may have encountered something like this...
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Why yes, I would like the awesome fate of joining the circus forever.
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Sep 9, 2017 15:59
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- Rebonack7
- Aug 27, 2015
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quote:
"I'd love to join the circus," you tell the clown.
"Great!" he exclaims. "We'll work out the details later. You'll work with the tigers. Starting now!"
As the audience files in for the next show, Tombo, the tiger trainer, gives you a nasty look. "You don't know anything about tigers, kid," Tombo warns. "They can be very dangerous. And people can be dangerous, too!"
Is he threatening you? Before you can find out, the ringmaster announces your act: "And now presenting Tombo the Tiger Trainer and his amazing new assistant!"
The circus band strikes up a song. The spotlight focuses on the center ring. Tombo lets his five tigers out of the cage. The big cats jump onto their stands inside the ring.
They snarl and growl as Tombo approaches. Tombo holds up a flaming hoop. He cracks his whip. One by one, he makes the tigers jump through the flames. The crowd applauds. "Let's see you top that, kid," he sneers.
You feel sorry for the tigers. They may be dangerous animals, but you can tell they don't like the whip or jumping through hoops. But somehow, you have to entertain the crowd.
"Go on, kid!" Tombo whispers. "Get started! If you want to keep your job!"
quote:
You gaze at the tigers. They gaze back at you. They look just like overgrown pussycats.
You reach down and scratch one of the tigers behind the ears. It arches its back and rubs against you, purring. The other four tigers jump off the platform and run up to you. All they want is to have someone treat them nicely.
"What are you doing?" Tombo screams. "You're ruining my tigers!"
You ignore him. You sit down on the dirt floor. The tigers all crawl into your lap. You pet them. They lick your hands and face. The crowd loves it. They cheer even louder than they did for Tombo.
"You see, Tombo?" you say cheerfully. "You should be kinder to your tigers."
You're having a great time. You're even going to get paid. What a life!
In fact, everything is purr-fect until your hands start to feel warm. The feeling moves up your arms and legs. Soon your whole body feels as if it's on fire.
What's going on? you wonder.
You're not on fire - you're shrinking! What a time to grow small again!
Just when you have five tigers on your lap!
THE END
Before anyone storms out of the thread in disgust, I swear this is the only other ending that can be summed up as "you randomly return to normal at the worst possible time."
Character Sheet posted:
Inventory
Empty
Goal Endings: 0/2
Bad Endings
Returned to normal size just in time to get beaten up by Barney.
 Returned to normal size while surrounded by tigers.
Achievements
None yet.
Our options posted:
- Eat the purple peanut butter.
- Avoid Barney at the baseball game.
- Run from the police.
- Hide in the sideshow tent.
- Don't join the circus.
Rebonack7 fucked around with this message at 02:48 on Sep 10, 2017
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Sep 9, 2017 17:29
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- CaptainCaveman
- Apr 16, 2005
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Always searching for North.
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Sideshow tent.
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#
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Sep 9, 2017 17:54
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- Rebonack7
- Aug 27, 2015
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quote:
In front of the sideshow tent is a big sign: SEE THE BEARDED LADY. MEET THE MONKEY-FACED MAN. THRILLS AND CHILLS!
Quickly, you duck inside. You are amazed by what you see. Over in the corner a man covered from head to toe in tattoos is swallowing swords. A tiny woman and man in elegant clothes are watching his performance. They barely come up to the tattooed man's knees.
You glance to the opposite side of the ten. The fattest lady you have ever seen is trimming her long black beard. A man is helping her by holding a mirror. But he's standing on his hands and holding the mirror between his feet!
Hey, you think, being big isn't so bad here!
Just then, you feel something poke you in the shoulder. Startled, you turn and come face-to-face with a small, fat man in a yellow clown suit.
"You're late!" he scolds you. He sounds mad, but you can't help laughing. It's hard to take him too seriously with his whiteface makeup and a giant painted red mouth.
"This is no laughing matter," he says. "It's show time! Now, get out there!" Before you can protest, he pokes you with a large tent pole.
"Youch!" you exclaim as you stumble through a flap in the curtain. It's dark. Something smells really gross. Where are you?
quote:
You find yourself eye-to-eye with another strange circus performer. Only this time it isn't a clown. This time it is an elephant!
"Hi, there," you say to the giant beast. You are so big now, you and the elephant are the same height.
The elephant gazes steadily at you. It seems to be waiting for you to do something. But what? You glance around. You realize you are at the back entrance to the big top.
Suddenly a voice booms over the loudspeakers. "Ladies and gentlemen! Children of all ages! You are about to be astonished by the extraordinary feats of The Amazing Strongo!"
The elephant looks at you expectantly. You have a funny feeling you are The Amazing Strongo.
The announcement continues. "Watch The Amazing Strongo lift an elephant into the air!"
You stumble through the flap. The elephant pushed you with its trunk! Then it nudges you all the way into the center ring. You are surrounded by cheering people. When the applause dies down, the tent grows eerily silent. They are all waiting for you to go into your Amazing Strongo act. But you can't lift an elephant! Or can you?
If you are able to do five push-ups, turn to PAGE 16.
If you can do less than five push-ups, turn to PAGE 40.
Character Sheet posted:
Inventory
Empty
Goal Endings: 0/2
Bad Endings
Returned to normal size just in time to get beaten up by Barney.
Returned to normal size while surrounded by tigers.
Achievements
None yet.
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Sep 10, 2017 16:23
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- PZ Smeltzenseltzer
- Feb 3, 2008
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fortran
~*with style*~
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The push-ups we did last book count, right? I am Super-StrengthStrong-o.
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Sep 10, 2017 16:47
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- CaptainCaveman
- Apr 16, 2005
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Always searching for North.
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I am able to do five push-ups, I just don't want to right now. But I totally could if I wanted to. You don't know her, she goes to a different school.
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Sep 10, 2017 18:00
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- Rebonack7
- Aug 27, 2015
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quote:
At this size, you wouldn't be surprised if you could lift an elephant.
You'll give it a try. You bow to the cheering crowd. The elephant bows also.
"The Amazing Strongo!" the ringmaster cries. "The strongest human being in the world will nnow attempt to lift Dodo the elephant!"
You approach the elephant. You study her from all sides. Finally you decide the best technique would be to bend your knees and wrap your arms around her lengthwise. The elephant drapes her trunk around your neck and tickles your ear. "Cut that out," you whisper. "Now hold still."
The elephant holds still. You begin to lift. The elephant is heavy - really heavy. You manage to lift Dodo a foot off the ground.
The crowd is cheering you on. The elephant grunts happily. Then suddenly someone in the audience shouts, "Alien! Alien! It's the alien!"
quote:
"It's the alien!" A blond kid in row two points at you.
"I'm not an alien!" you shout. "I'm a human kid!"
More people begin screaming, "The alien! It's the alien!"
In shock, you drop the elephant. This makes the elephant furious. She swoops you up in her powerful trunk. At first you think she is going to squeeze you to death. Then Dodo lifts you into the air and swings you back and forth.
"Call the police!" someone shouts. Now the entire audience is shrieking. The situation is getting ugly. A dozen security guards start running toward you.
You thought you were safe here. But now everyone thinks you're an alien.
Then you spot your cousin Dora sitting right in the front row.
You've never been so happy to see her before in your whole life. In fact, this is probably the only time you've been happy to see her.
"Tell them, Dora!" you shout. "Save me! Tell them I'm not an alien!"
Dora stares back at you. Then she smiles.
Hooray! You're saved!
quote:
Then Dora's smile twists into a horrible grimace.
"Alien!" she shrieks. "The mutant alien!" The people in the front rows scream. They climb over their seats to get away from you.
"Dora, I'm your cousin!" you shout. You try to wriggle out of the powerful grasp of the elephant's trunk. But Dodo's clutching you too tightly.
"How could you be my cousin?" Dora is sobbing. "No! No! You're an alien!"
The crowd frightens Dodo the elephant. Dodo drops you. Right on top of a cotton-candy machine. You are covered with the sticky pink stuff.
It's no use. No one will listen to you. You duck out of the tent and take off running.
I can cover more ground than anyone else, you reassure yourself. I'll be far away from that angry mob in no time.
And then you hear the sirens.
quote:
The police are still after you. And they've sent for reinforcements. You head away from the circus, toward the highway.
The sirens are growing closer. Your heart pounds in terror as you see blinking emergency lights approaching on the highway. How will you ever get out of here?
You glance in the other direction. More lights. More sirens.
And an elephant!
"AROOOOO!" Dodo trumpets. She must have followed you.
You glance at the elephant. She definitely likes you. She actually seems to be smiling.
You stare back at the highway. Then you get an idea.
"Dodo," you whisper, "how would you like to do me a really big favor?"
"AROOOO!" the elephant answers. It's as if Dodo understands you.
"Dodo," you tell the elephant. "Here's the plan. You distract them while I run away."
You could swear Dodo nods at you. You pat Dodo on the rear. The elephant lumbers down the highway. Right toward the police.
You watch as the police cars skid and swerve to avoid the elephant. Dodo swings her trunk at the cars. She seems to be having a good time.
You take off in the opposite direction.
quote:
You're so big now you take giant steps. It doesn't take you long to outdistance the police cars and helicopters.
But you're much too big to hide anywhere.
You're going to have to find help.
But where? The police think you're a mutant alien. Your relatives are afraid of you. Who could possibly help you?
You think back to when your troubles started. If only you hadn't eaten that piece of chocolate cake. That must have been what caused you to grow. You can't think of any other answer.
You have to find the person who made the cake. It's the only solution.
But who made the cake?
You close your eyes, trying to remember the name on the cake box. Was it Effy's Bakery, Midvale? Or was it Maddy's Bakery, Elmville?
If you remember, you know exactly where to go. If not, you'll have to guess.
Head for Effy's Bakery on PAGE 32.
Or search for Maddy's Bakery on PAGE 74.
Character Sheet posted:
Inventory
Empty
Goal Endings: 0/2
Bad Endings
Returned to normal size just in time to get beaten up by Barney.
Returned to normal size while surrounded by tigers.
Achievements
None yet.
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Sep 11, 2017 01:41
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- ashnjack
- Jun 8, 2010
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FUCK FLOWERS. JUST...FUCK 'EM.
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I feel like most of your relatives and family members in these books inhumanly monstrous.
Like, your cousin Dora took great joy in ratting you out to the cops.
Cops who would probably shoot the 20 foot high monster.
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Sep 11, 2017 03:25
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- Leraika
- Jun 14, 2015
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Luckily, I *did* save your old avatar. Fucked around and found out indeed.
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I feel like most of your relatives and family members in these books inhumanly monstrous.
Like, your cousin Dora took great joy in ratting you out to the cops.
Cops who would probably shoot the 20 foot high monster.
gotta have some sort of conflict in these books, right
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Sep 11, 2017 03:46
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- Blockhouse
- Sep 7, 2014
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You Win!
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Eff it
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#
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Sep 11, 2017 04:44
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- Mister Olympus
- Oct 31, 2011
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Buzzard, Who Steals From Dead Bodies
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gotta have some sort of conflict in these books, right
I feel like this is also partially a 90s artifact. All the kids' media from that time feels like it had to really commit to a certain set of cultural tropes to reach its audience, just in a really exaggerated way. Parents are boring/weird because they make you do things they don't want and like things you don't like->anything family related is boring/weird->distant relations turn into easy antagonists. Just like your friends (and the bullies) in the werewolf book shook out to be entirely stock characters, even in the face of Cereal Troll Madness, underlines this.
e: that or severe laziness in writers was an epidemic (that's still ongoing)
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Sep 11, 2017 05:20
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- PZ Smeltzenseltzer
- Feb 3, 2008
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fortran
~*with style*~
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I have a perfect memory. It’s… flipflipflip the No Cheating bakery in the town of rear end in a top hat.
…but since that isn’t an option, let’s head to Maddy’s.
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Sep 11, 2017 07:36
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- Android Blues
- Nov 22, 2008
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It was Effy's and I know this without looking and I'm not even going to check and I'm certain of it!
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Sep 11, 2017 08:23
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- Jen X
- Sep 29, 2014
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To bring light to the darkness, whether that darkness be ignorance, injustice, apathy, or stagnation.
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It was Effy's and I know this without looking and I'm not even going to check and I'm certain of it!
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Sep 11, 2017 11:13
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- Rebonack7
- Aug 27, 2015
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quote:
As fast as you can run, you head for Midvale. The police cars speed after you. To your left is the highway. To your right is the river.
You get an idea. You stop running and step over the river. The police cars all come to screeching stops. With squealing tires, they make sharp turns and speed back toward the nearest bridge. You smile to yourself. You have plenty of time now.
Soon you approach Midvale. Quickly you scan the business district. There it is - Effy's Bakery, a small, gray wooden building.
The residents of Midvale scream and run when they see you. You don't care. All you care about is finding Effy. As you approach, delicious smells pour out of the tiny building.
Using your little finger, you gently tap on the door.
A plump, gray-haired lady comes to the door. You expect her to scream, but she doesn't. Her tiny head tips backward as her eyes travel up, up, up, to meet yours.
"May I help you?" she asks.
"I hope so," you reply. You explain your problem. "I think your cake caused it," you finish.
"So that's what happened to the chocolate cake," she says.
quote:
"What do you mean?" you ask.
"It was a special cake I made for a client who was too short. But another customer picked it up by mistake. When I called her, I found out she had moved."
Now you know how the cake ended up in your uncle's basement. "Well, it worked," you tell her sadly. "It worked too well."
Effy looks you up and down and then nods. "I must have put too much growth spice in it," she tells you.
"Is there any way you can reverse it? Can you bake a cake that will make me small again?" you ask.
Effy thinks, frowning. "I'll try," she agrees. "But it'll have to be a huge cake. You'll have to help me."
Gladly, you agree to help. First, Effy leads you to a huge Dumpster behind her bakery. "Here's where I get rid of my mistakes," she tells you. The Dumpster is full of moldy, strange-shaped cakes.
After you clean out the Dumpster, Effy brings fifty bags of flour and spices. You empty them into the Dumpster. She climbs on a ladder and breaks a hundred eggs into the flour. Then she adds seven gallons of water from a garden hose.
"And now," she says, "for the shrinking powder..."
quote:
While you stir the mixture, Effy adds a tiny, tiny pinch of shrink powder. Then you close the Dumpster's lid and build a fire around it.
You wait while the cake cooks. It smells awful, but you don't care - you'll eat anything if it'll make you small again!
At last the fire dies down. When the Dumpster is cool, you lift the lid and peek inside. The cake is green and lumpy. It smells like garbage mixed with too much cinnamon.
You can't wait to taste it.
You open your mouth wide and take a big bite. It tastes even worse than it smells. Your mouth feels as if it's full of slime!
But you chew it and swallow. Then you wait.
Nothing happens.
"Eat some more," Effy suggests.
"It tastes too gross," you complain.
Effy holds up two beakers of liquid - one purple and one blue. "Maybe one of these will help. A kid I know named Kermit gave these to me. Kermit's a really smart scientist.
You stare at the beakers and suddenly remember something. There was a kid named Kermit in a GOOSEBUMPS book you once read - Monster Blood III. And he invented a liquid that made things shrink. But what color was the liquid?
Choose the blue liquid, turn to PAGE 67.
Choose the purple liquid, turn to PAGE 28.
Character Sheet posted:
Inventory
Empty
Goal Endings: 0/2
Bad Endings
Returned to normal size just in time to get beaten up by Barney.
Returned to normal size while surrounded by tigers.
Achievements
None yet.
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#
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Sep 11, 2017 16:27
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- Android Blues
- Nov 22, 2008
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I never read it either but I remember the Monster Blood on the cover was blue this time, so maybe purple?
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Sep 11, 2017 17:19
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- Leraika
- Jun 14, 2015
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Luckily, I *did* save your old avatar. Fucked around and found out indeed.
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An actually relevant goosebumps question!
I have no idea so I'll say blue
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Sep 11, 2017 17:25
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- CountryMatters
- Apr 8, 2009
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IT KEEPS HAPPENING
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I still really want to know why everyone thinks the protagonist is an alien just because he's tall
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Sep 11, 2017 17:45
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- Blockhouse
- Sep 7, 2014
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You Win!
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Purple stuff?!
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Sep 11, 2017 22:12
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- Rebonack7
- Aug 27, 2015
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I still really want to know why everyone thinks the protagonist is an alien just because he's tall
Well, the book is really inconsistent about how big we are (big enough to casually tear the roof off a house, but later small enough that an elephant can lift us with its trunk), so maybe we're oscillating between "pretty tall" and "FUCKHUEG" and they think we're an alien using some kind of malfunctioning shapeshifting device or something.
quote:
You grab the beaker of purple liquid and pour it on the cake. The liquid quickly seeps through the cake, turning it a weird lavender color. You take a big bite.
Then you wait.
And wait. And wait.
Suddenly your teeth start to chatter. Your knees begin to knock. Your body sways back and forth.
It's working! you think. It's finally working.
Your teeth chatter faster and faster. You're afraid your fillings will fall out.
Then your body quiets down. You glance around. You've returned to normal size again!
"Hey, Effy!" you cry. "Look at me!"
You try to run over to Effy. But you can't. You can't bend your arms. Or your legs. What's going on? Your neck is incredibly stiff too.
"Oh, dear," Effy says. "I guess the purple liquid was the wrong one. You've been turned into a gingerbread man."
"What?" you cry, suddenly noticing your colorful icing clothes.
"Don't worry," Effy says. She leads you inside the bakery. "Gingerbread cookies are big sellers this year. I'll put you front and center in the display. I'm sure I'll find a new home for you before you get too stale!"
THE END
By the way, we should have gotten this new achievement a few posts ago, but I miscounted and thought we were at 49, not 50.
Character Sheet posted:
Inventory
Empty
Goal Endings: 0/2
Bad Endings
Returned to normal size just in time to get beaten up by Barney.
Returned to normal size while surrounded by tigers.
Drank a potion that turned us into a life-size gingerbread cookie.
Achievements
Fails from the Crypt: Encountered a total of 50 bad endings.
Our options posted:
- Eat the purple peanut butter.
- Avoid Barney at the baseball game.
- Run from the police.
- Don't join the circus.
- Fail to lift Dodo.
- Search for Maddy's Bakery.
- Drink the blue potion.
Rebonack7 fucked around with this message at 03:37 on Sep 12, 2017
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#
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Sep 12, 2017 03:31
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- CaptainCaveman
- Apr 16, 2005
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Always searching for North.
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Blue potion to round out this section.
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Sep 12, 2017 03:37
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- ashnjack
- Jun 8, 2010
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FUCK FLOWERS. JUST...FUCK 'EM.
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Wow, these books are darker than I thought.
We just turned into a giant gingerbread man and the lady that was helping us is now going to sell us to somebody who's going to eat us. Cannibalism.
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Sep 12, 2017 05:25
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- Adbot
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ADBOT LOVES YOU
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#
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May 9, 2024 21:44
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- Rebonack7
- Aug 27, 2015
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quote:
You break off a piece of cake and dunk it in the blue liquid. You're sure Kermit used blue liquid to make things shrink in Monster Blood III.
You take a bite of the cake. Please work, you think, please -
And then, suddenly, you feel as if you're falling.
You gasp and glance around - you are falling!
You've suddenly become small again - all at once. And you're falling, straight toward the open Dumpster.
SQUOOOOOSH!
You land right in the middle of the smelly, soft, slimy, disgusting cake. But you don't care. You climb out of the Dumpster and thank Effy.
"You're very welcome," she replies. She hands you a towel. While you're wiping yourself off, she ducks inside the bakery. She returns with a big box of chocolate cupcakes. "Here you are," she says. "A treat to take home to your aunt and uncle."
"Thank you," you reply. You take the box and start home.
But as soon as you're out of sight you throw it away. You didn't want to hurt Effy's feelings - but you're sick of chocolate cake!
The next time you're hungry, you decide, it's brussels sprouts and broccoli for you!
THE END
Character Sheet posted:
Inventory
Empty
Goal Endings: 1/2
Bad Endings
Returned to normal size just in time to get beaten up by Barney.
Returned to normal size while surrounded by tigers.
Drank a potion that turned us into a life-size gingerbread cookie.
Achievements
Fails from the Crypt: Encountered a total of 50 bad endings.
Our options posted:
- Eat the purple peanut butter.
- Avoid Barney at the baseball game.
- Run from the police.
- Don't join the circus.
- Fail to lift Dodo.
- Search for Maddy's Bakery.
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Sep 12, 2017 16:49
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Sep 9, 2017 04:19
