Post itt every time you lol that trump is president

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > Post itt every time you lol that trump is president

«‹›7153 »

NotWearingPants: Jan 3, 2006; by Nyc_Tattoo; Nap Ghost

Marxalot posted:

I have zero idea what his politics are but I'd be down for a president who is openly made out of 5% cocaine.

He's a complete loving idiot. What do you think his politics are?

# ? Sep 11, 2017 17:40

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 18, 2024 05:23

Hastings: Dec 30, 2008

Mr Ice Cream Glove posted:

Kid Rock responded to haters of his speech about Merica

I'm actually kind of impressed that this is more cognizant than what our president would put out. Still some ignorant, idiotic, racist babble though.

# ? Sep 11, 2017 17:40

Mr Ice Cream Glove: Apr 22, 2007

Blow Me posted:

A bottle of jack's got my manager grinnin'
yeah that's me that keeps the turntables spinniN'
I'm countin cards and I keep on winnin'
I know God hates me cuz I'm always sinnin'
U don't know me blow me ho you wanna get hot
you'll get your rear end blown out fuckin with the Kid Rock
Eatin up ya suckers just the same way a beast could
tearin thru your town like muther fuckin Clint Eastwood
Cuz I be fakin the rhymes that keep ya shakin'
makin a lotta money but don't let me be mistaken
I never thought about climbin up the pop chart
and I don't give a gently caress u can't buy my tape in K-Mart
Give me a choice between soundin like an rear end wipe
or sittin in an alley smokin crack from a glass pipe
I'd be as skinny as a junkie with the AIDS plague
but still I'd look better than a puppet tryin to get paid
Now check the rhyme as i climb and I co get rude
and send ya runnin' playin' pussy like Shaggy and Scoob
Cuz I'm the wrong dude to gently caress with my mouth is mental
and I'm a tear poo poo up like they did in South Central
Son of a bitch I'm the son of a bitch
nobody ever loved u so you're the son of a dick
I'm a product of a young girl top in her class
you're a product of a hooker who was sellin that rear end
And your styles in the past it's old and dusty
so from now on I'm callin u M.C. Crusty
Cuz to face me u must be blitzed or blasted
so now I'm gonna drop ya like a hit of acid
And when I rip ya people they might stare
cuz I got more rhymes than Donahue's got white hair
An yo buck won't you please be a friend
And tell your mom I wanna gently caress and I'll pick her up at 10

# ? Sep 11, 2017 17:41

Dang It Bhabhi!: May 27, 2004; ASK ME ABOUT
BEING
ESCULA GRIND'S
#1 SIMP

Kid Rock can't be racist he's been doing a minstrel show for 30 years.

# ? Sep 11, 2017 17:41

whip: Apr 9, 2007; by Lowtax

Piss de Bundy posted:

BAW WIT DA BAW DA BANG DA BANG-our future president

He will offer pardons to all his homies in cell block 6

# ? Sep 11, 2017 17:43

Mr Ice Cream Glove: Apr 22, 2007

quote:

Dum diti dum dang dang di dum
2 bums in an alley with a bottle of rum
1 bum said look Jack I'm the poo poo
put his knees to his ears and sucked his own dick
Assholes are only assholes, fo sho'

# ? Sep 11, 2017 17:43

cnut: May 3, 2016

Mr Ice Cream Glove posted:

Kid Rock lyrics Part 1

Wax The Booty

Step into my crib she said the rise impressed her
So without delay I began to undress her
Unstrapped her bra and whispered to her are you with me
She said yes so I grabbed them titties
Next was the test to see if she was high rank
I dropped her panties and was slippin, I asked do you stank
She said no and noted to me that her shower soap is Gucci
So I dropped my boxers and headed for her coochie
Headed fo her coochie
Grease it down real good
Headed for her coochie
Dang that's good

-

Killing Brain Cells

gently caress hoes cuz I'm no big fag
Roll with Zig Zags like to read skin mags
When I shoot I never miss

-

3 Sheets to the Wind

I'm here and it's clear I'm gonna flow so yo black
Just get on up or yo get the bozak
Cuz it ain't Kojak or Dr. Suess

-

gently caress U Blind

I'll gently caress u blind bitch
I'll gently caress u blind bitch
I'll gently caress u blind till you just can't see no more
Back in school I knew this chick her name was Sara Bolerdies
and she thought she was the poo poo becuz she dated older guys
Dumb bitch fuckin whore always wanted to get laid
but never gave the pussy up to anybody in her grade
Played me like a sucker
like a bitch like a punk
that little pussy lickin finger fuckin ho rear end oval office
Never once did she speak to anybody in her class
so one day I told her never let me get that rear end

-

Balls In ur mouth

Balls in your mouth
balls in your mouth; "U want my balls in your mouth"
Back to my crib with no delay
big grin on my grill and not much to say
Except her yo bitch how's about
I drop my my drawers and put my balls in your mouth
Next the cutie started rubbin my back
then she put a finger right between my booty crack
So I grabbed her wrist quick and said hold up slut
"Ain't nobody stickin mothin in my butt"
Now right then I knew I had a ho and a half
and all I could do is sit back and laugh
Stare at the cceiling thinking about
this chick I just met's got my balls in her mouth

# ? Sep 11, 2017 17:44

tpink: Feb 18, 2013; Melman

Mr Ice Cream Glove posted:

Kid Rock lyrics

Holy poo poo :eyepop:

I don't think I've ever heard a Kid Rock song before, this is...a lot.

# ? Sep 11, 2017 17:45

Punk da Bundo: Dec 29, 2006; by FactsAreUseless

drat i knew he was white trashy, but i didn't think it was that bad

BAW WIT DA BAW

# ? Sep 11, 2017 17:45

old beast lunatic: Nov 3, 2004; by Hand Knit

Kid rock singing "Balls In ur Mouth" is just like Bill Clinton playing the sax or Huckabee bouncing around like a fat retard with a guitar when you think about it.

# ? Sep 11, 2017 17:46

NotWearingPants: Jan 3, 2006; by Nyc_Tattoo; Nap Ghost

Meet the Secretary of the Broward County (Ft Lauderdale, Fl.) Republican party:

quote:

The two shared smoothies and returned to the car. But instead of driving her back to campus, Ditsworth turned down a residential street, parked, pulled out a claw hammer and struck Barcay with it at least 40 times before dragging her out of the car by her hair, her mother recounted to the Los Angeles Times. Once outside, cops said, he continued beating her until the hammer broke.

The attack left Barcay with a fractured skull, broken leg, broken nose, and split scalp. She attended prom in a wheelchair.

�Her hair and face were caked with blood,� the girl�s mother, Barbara Hayden told the LA Times. �On the left side her head was shaped like a football.�

lol?

https://news.vice.com/story/florida-gop-secretary-attacking-a-girl-with-a-hammer

# ? Sep 11, 2017 17:47

A Fancy Hat: Nov 18, 2016; Always remember that the former President was dumber than the dumbest person you've ever met by a wide margin

"gently caress hoes cuz I'm no big fag
Roll with Zig Zags like to read skin mags
When I shoot I never miss"

He's for traditional marriage
He rolls his own cigarettes (BOOTSTRAPS)
He's a believer in the 2nd amendment

Seems like a pretty normal Republican to me???

# ? Sep 11, 2017 17:48

Mr Ice Cream Glove: Apr 22, 2007

Women vote secured Senator Rock

quote:

There's only two types of men
Pimps and John's
There's one type of bitch
And that's a hoe
God drat holly hooker this is my world
God drat time to go
Where's my dough
It's startin to snow
All I want is the dollas
I've been a pimp so long I knew gahndi when he had an afro

Pimp of the Nation, I could be it
As a matter of a fact, I for see it
But only pimpin hoes with the big tush
While you be left pimpin Barbra Bush
What's up granny
First name Annie
Dried up oval office and a saggin fanny
The highlight of your sex adventures
You wanna suck this take out your denchers

# ? Sep 11, 2017 17:49

damn horror queefs: Oct 14, 2005; say hello
say hello to the man in the elevator

NotWearingPants posted:

Meet the Secretary of the Broward County (Ft Lauderdale, Fl.) Republican party:

lol?

https://news.vice.com/story/florida-gop-secretary-attacking-a-girl-with-a-hammer

“Why should I resign?” he told the Daily Mail.. “I did nothing wrong and I was elected. This is just party politics.”

:stare:

# ? Sep 11, 2017 17:57

mobby_6kl: Aug 9, 2009; by Fluffdaddy

Avirosb posted:

Kid rock lyrics

But does he believe in Jesus

Holy poo poo that's embarrassing. Can we get someone actually cool like James Hetfield to run against this shitstain?

# ? Sep 11, 2017 18:11

Facebook Aunt: Oct 4, 2008; wiggle wiggle

Satchel and Trunk posted:

I want some spicy 9/11 lols today...can anyone post the old fake Subway 9/11 ad?

The meme thread has got your back.

throw to first drat IT posted:

Happy 11.9

# ? Sep 11, 2017 18:14

Burt Sexual: Jan 26, 2006; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS; Switchblade Switcharoo

NotWearingPants posted:

Meet the Secretary of the Broward County (Ft Lauderdale, Fl.) Republican party:

lol?

https://news.vice.com/story/florida-gop-secretary-attacking-a-girl-with-a-hammer

lol self defense with a claw hammer to the face against a little girl.

# ? Sep 11, 2017 18:15

bloom: Feb 25, 2017; by sebmojo

throw to first drat IT posted:

lol goddamn

# ? Sep 11, 2017 18:16

Catastrophe: Oct 5, 2007; Committed to burn twice as long and half as bright

PPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPS: "I TOTALLY DON'T SUCK!" - person who totally sucks

# ? Sep 11, 2017 18:24

Waffle House: Oct 27, 2004; You follow the path
fitting into an infinite pattern.

Yours to manipulate, to destroy and rebuild.

Now, in the quantum moment
before the closure
when all become one.

One moment left.
One point of space and time.

I know who you are.

You are Destiny.

I don't know why I'm enjoying Steve Bannon eating poo poo so much?

Oh, right, because he's a methed up nazi who coaxed people who would otherwise be funny into being stupid assholes instead. Silly me:

https://www.washingtonpost.com/news...m=.813d58b70995

quote:

ROSE: Someone told me you described the firing of James Comey � you�re a student of history � as the biggest mistake in political history.

BANNON: That�s probably too bombastic even for me, but maybe modern political history.

ROSE: The firing of James Comey was the biggest mistake in modern political history?

BANNON: If you�re saying that�s associated with me, then I�ll leave it at that.

# ? Sep 11, 2017 18:26

timp: Sep 19, 2007; Everything is in my control; Lipstick Apathy

Kid Rock posted:

I would however employ that NAN go ahead and

ohohoho how quaint

# ? Sep 11, 2017 18:27

super macho dude: Aug 9, 2014

Senator Kid Rock? The crackhead!?

# ? Sep 11, 2017 18:33

Egbert Souse: Nov 6, 2008

Hopefully North Korea will nuke us to put us out of our misery if Kid Rock actually wins a primary.

# ? Sep 11, 2017 18:35

Punk da Bundo: Dec 29, 2006; by FactsAreUseless

https://www.kidrockforsenate.com/

are you scared?

ARE YOU? ARE YOU FUCKIN SCARED?

# ? Sep 11, 2017 18:36

Catastrophe: Oct 5, 2007; Committed to burn twice as long and half as bright

Egbert Souse posted:

Hopefully North Korea will nuke us to put us out of our misery if Kid Rock actually wins a primary.

Wait, someone tell me why we can't launch Kid Rock at North Korea

# ? Sep 11, 2017 18:37

Chinatown: Sep 11, 2001; by Fluffdaddy; Fun Shoe

having hope is still the biggest lol

# ? Sep 11, 2017 18:37

Oscar Wild: Apr 11, 2006; It's good to be a G

Maya Fey posted:

https://twitter.com/JordanUhl/status/907225682924752897

There were good people on both sides, I mean have you been to New York?

# ? Sep 11, 2017 18:39

TontoCorazon: Aug 18, 2007

Catastrophe posted:

Wait, someone tell me why we can't launch Kid Rock at North Korea

Then we'd have to answer to the Geneva Convention.

# ? Sep 11, 2017 18:40

gimme the GOD DAMN candy: Jul 1, 2007

Catastrophe posted:

Wait, someone tell me why we can't launch Kid Rock at North Korea

once we do one thing that would actually make the world prosecute us for war crimes, we are on the hook for all those other war crimes.

# ? Sep 11, 2017 18:40

Stoatbringer: Sep 15, 2004; naw, you love it you little ho-bot

Waffle House posted:

...so far.

# ? Sep 11, 2017 18:45

Oscar Wild: Apr 11, 2006; It's good to be a G

Catastrophe posted:

Wait, someone tell me why we can't launch Kid Rock at North Korea

US has been losing the battle in Bud Light powered K-Rock(ets) for quite some time now. Thanks Obama.

# ? Sep 11, 2017 18:46

TontoCorazon: Aug 18, 2007

Waffle House posted:

Dude constantly looks like his liver loving hates him.

# ? Sep 11, 2017 18:49

ricro: Dec 22, 2008

I wonder which politician will be blamed for his death when his liver finally explodes and he keels over

# ? Sep 11, 2017 18:53

whip: Apr 9, 2007; by Lowtax

TontoCorazon posted:

Dude constantly looks like his liver loving hates him.

He doesn't look jaundiced at all

# ? Sep 11, 2017 18:53

Pussy Quipped: Jan 29, 2009

TontoCorazon posted:

Dude constantly looks like his liver loving hates him.

I'm fully ready and prepared for his skin to just slough off at any moment.

# ? Sep 11, 2017 18:54

Burt Sexual: Jan 26, 2006; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS; Switchblade Switcharoo

He always seems to look :smith:

too. I've never heard him speak, but his written words sound like he's energetic and fiery. Not some sad sack.

# ? Sep 11, 2017 18:58

nooneofconsequence: Oct 30, 2012; she had tiny Italian boobs.
Well that's my story.

Maya Fey posted:

https://twitter.com/JordanUhl/status/907225682924752897

I knew the quote but never heard the audio. His glee is palpable.

# ? Sep 11, 2017 18:59

FUCKFACE MORON: Apr 23, 2010; by sebmojo

Burt Sexual posted:

He always seems to look too. I've never heard him speak, but his written words sound like he's energetic and fiery. Not some sad sack.

Remember when Bannon was in Saudi Arabia and terrified for his life? lol

# ? Sep 11, 2017 19:04

Inept: Jul 8, 2003

NotWearingPants posted:

Meet the Secretary of the Broward County (Ft Lauderdale, Fl.) Republican party:

lol?

https://news.vice.com/story/florida-gop-secretary-attacking-a-girl-with-a-hammer

This isn't funny. Eat the rich.

# ? Sep 11, 2017 19:05

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 18, 2024 05:23

Waffle House: Oct 27, 2004; You follow the path
fitting into an infinite pattern.

Yours to manipulate, to destroy and rebuild.

Now, in the quantum moment
before the closure
when all become one.

One moment left.
One point of space and time.

I know who you are.

You are Destiny.

Burt Sexual posted:

He always seems to look too. I've never heard him speak, but his written words sound like he's energetic and fiery. Not some sad sack.

Steve Bannon: A man who used jobless internet males to elect a retard to office because those very same internet males dickpunched him out of his sweet World of Warcraft Gold Farming gig at Goldman-Sachs.

Pretty sackish to me idk

# ? Sep 11, 2017 19:07

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > Post itt every time you lol that trump is president

«‹›7153 »