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Intoluene
Jul 6, 2011

Activating self-destruct sequence!
Fun Shoe
Hell, I'm a dude and this thread makes me worry about going to a mtg prerelease this weekend.

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Schneider Inside Her
Aug 6, 2009

Please bitches. If nothing else I am a gentleman
Prereleases are chill as in my experience. Yeah there are some nerds there but also some regular people. It is a pretty fun way to play a bit of MTG

Intoluene
Jul 6, 2011

Activating self-destruct sequence!
Fun Shoe

Schneider Inside Her posted:

Prereleases are chill as in my experience. Yeah there are some nerds there but also some regular people. It is a pretty fun way to play a bit of MTG

This is exactly why I wanted to go to a prerelease instead of a fnm for going back after not playing since theros.

mind the walrus
Sep 22, 2006

letthereberock posted:

My theory was always that he started out wanting to sell general collectibles like coins or sports memorabilia, but once the schools were built nearby, he realized he could make some money by selling some comics and poo poo as well. Over time, comics and magic cards were the only things that were making him money, so eventually he found himself unwittingly running a comics store, trapped in his personal hell.
I know this is just because I've been going through a morbid fascination with Stephen King's IT in light of the new movie, but this really does sound like a great synopsis to a book he never wrote about halfway between IT and Needful Things.

kreyla posted:

Man, this thread. There's a game shop near me that seems cool and hosts a lot of events and introductory sessions, but now I am afraid to go there to learn how to play paper DnD like I've always wanted. Because I am a shy girl goon and the thought of being miladied by smelly sperglords terrifies me. :(
You'll be fine if you remember that you can leave and play Tabletop RPGs online at any time. Lack of desperation and a sense of identity are your best defenses.

LeisureSuit Canary
Dec 27, 2012

The worst players in my area were always the magic players. Stealing wasn't their thing usually but a few of them would swoop in and rip off any new player who pulled a decent cards. The also had the bigger tendency to be creeps. The store I went to when I was younger had this one 16-17 year old girl that would hang out there. All these early 30 to 50 year old magic players would just stare at her. They'd all talk to themselves about how they were gonna jump on her as soon as she hit 18 and a few were going for it beforehand. Any younger girl showed up and it was like sharks smelling blood in the water. Mind you some of them were awesome and I'm still good friends with them. The majority of the rest were a mix of creeps, predators, and asses. I went to a newer store in the area though and they seem to have a healthy player pool. Some of the same creeps and asses but a decent spread of okay people. My experience could have been tainted by the stores I hit back then.

Yu-Gi-Oh's crowd is different. It tends to be younger. Stealing is more common but still not a common occurrence. It has its creeps though. I've seen a dude decked out head to toe in Wizards of Waverly Place gear at a couple YCS tournaments in the northeast. I've never spoken to him though so can't say that he was actually a creep. Yu-Gi-Oh tends to get more goobers than MTG. It's this weird mix of a bunch of different crowds. Yu-Gi-Oh also has more a known cheating scene as well. It's less common now but it used to be very bad. I would assume a heavy part of that is due to the smaller decks being easier to manipulate and the different foils allowing easier identification of cards while stacking. It has gotten pretty common recently for "pro" players to pop adderall mid tournament. Drugs have always been entwined with card games in my experience though.

I find I can talk and have fun with my opponents at large Yu-Gi-Oh events. I found Magic more in line with an amateur poker tournament full of people taking themselves far too seriously. Magic also tends to be extremely white while Yu-Gi-Oh has a ton of diversity.

I'll share an unfortunate story from when I played Magic. There was around 8 people in the shop hanging out when a guy who used to play Magic came into the store. The guy looked a bit nervous but he usually did. He asked if he could use the bathroom and dipped inside. A few minutes later a cop came in asking for someone matching his description. He was shown to the bathroom and he began speaking to the man inside. The man refused to unlock the door and the cop threatened to break it down. The owner offered up the key to the bathroom and the cop arrested the kid. In the toilet he found the dude's crack pipe and some crack that he was trying to flush.

He and his girlfriend had gotten a flat tire up the road from the store. He flipped out when someone stopped to help and told them to leave while specifying not to call the police. Of course they did call the police. He ran off and his girl stayed with the car. Cops found drugs in the car and went searching for the dude at which point he arrived at the store.

I heard a commotion outside later on after he was arrested. It was his girl screaming at him in the parking lot about how much she hated him. It was a memory that stuck in 16 year old me's brain. Like it sucks for them but it was also this really unexpected series of events.

That shop had the cops called probably a dozen times while I was present over the 5 years I played there. Kinda surprised it didn't crash and burn considering the stuff I saw there. One dude convinced the store owner to let him keep his shotgun behind the counter for a few days. Another dude kept a collapsible 9mm semi auto rifle in his backpack all the time. Fair amount of heavy drug use but normal for my area. Those were fun but weird times.

Ghost Leviathan
Mar 2, 2017

Exploration is ill-advised.
There's always going to be that kind of problem with hobbies that inherently involve socialisation but primarily appeal to nerds.

SpacePig
Apr 4, 2007

Hold that pose.
I've gotta get something.

kreyla posted:

Man, this thread. There's a game shop near me that seems cool and hosts a lot of events and introductory sessions, but now I am afraid to go there to learn how to play paper DnD like I've always wanted. Because I am a shy girl goon and the thought of being miladied by smelly sperglords terrifies me. :(

My understanding is that, so long as you're at a store-sponsored or official WotC D&D events, the DMs running them are pretty good at keeping things light for newbies and not being confrontational. Whether they'll be good at quashing any M'lady creepiness from other players remains to be seen, but I've heard they're usually pretty good.

Jordan7hm
Feb 17, 2011




Lipstick Apathy

firrup posted:


That shop had the cops called probably a dozen times while I was present over the 5 years I played there. Kinda surprised it didn't crash and burn considering the stuff I saw there. One dude convinced the store owner to let him keep his shotgun behind the counter for a few days. Another dude kept a collapsible 9mm semi auto rifle in his backpack all the time. Fair amount of heavy drug use but normal for my area. Those were fun but weird times.
Every time I read stuff like this I have to remind myself that America has a very different relationship with guns than the rest of us do.

If a nerd had a rifle in their backpack in the shop I went to as a teen that would have been a Very Big Deal.

LeisureSuit Canary
Dec 27, 2012

Jordan7hm posted:

Every time I read stuff like this I have to remind myself that America has a very different relationship with guns than the rest of us do.

If a nerd had a rifle in their backpack in the shop I went to as a teen that would have been a Very Big Deal.

It wasn't really cool at the time. Like this was in 2008ish. poo poo would have hit the fan if a parent found out. He wasn't going target shooting before coming and this dude had a hair trigger. He carried it because he had that survive the collapse/prepper mentality. He did often leave his bag in the car if he wasn't playing but it was always somewhere nearby. The store owner was spineless and wouldn't tell anyone off so this dude and everyone else had free reign. Most of us who knew about it were buddies with the guy and just didn't think anything of it. Which makes me kinda skeptical about younger me.

That store also had an old man that would come in and do board game demos. Guy looked like a predator. Like Ben Franklin but more jacked up. He started volunteering behind the counter after awhile. The owner would give him a ride to the store because the guy was epileptic and couldn't drive. It felt like every other month you'd see him zone out and then fall and start having seizures. He had a trigger that'd set him off all the time. It was the smell of weed. This might not be an issue but this store had kinda built itself up as the back alley rogue store. It never banned anyone for anything. You'd get tossed out or taken by the cops but be allowed back in no time. I saw the owner catch a kid stealing cards from the store and then having the kid hang out as part of the store crew like a month later. The liquor store next door helped too. The owner wouldn't care if you brought stuff in from there. A ton of the player base at this store would smoke a ton in their cars and come in reeking of it and set this dude off. I heard he lost a ton of customers because of how often this was happening even more recently.

TacticalHoodie
May 7, 2007

Last time I went to a nerd store was the local Gaming Bar for their fighting game casuals night last week. I went was 3 years ago, and it was a toxic cesspool of teens and adults who didn't wash at all and smelled of energy drinks and fast food.

Time didn't change anything. There were a few shouting matches which resulted in a fist fight and people getting removed. One guy was trying to see if anyone could hook him up with a girl for a date because he was really lonely. Some guy thought I was a poser because I brought my stick in my Judo Club bag and loudly refused to play with me. Trying to be friendly made people more salty with me. Out of 50 people there, the majority were obese to very obese with clothes that did not fit them at all.

I sold my joystick for $50 to someone there and stop playing fighting games afterwards.

hard counter
Jan 2, 2015





firrup posted:

The worst players in my area were always the magic players. Stealing wasn't their thing usually but a few of them would swoop in and rip off any new player who pulled a decent cards. The also had the bigger tendency to be creeps. The store I went to when I was younger had this one 16-17 year old girl that would hang out there. All these early 30 to 50 year old magic players would just stare at her. They'd all talk to themselves about how they were gonna jump on her as soon as she hit 18 and a few were going for it beforehand. Any younger girl showed up and it was like sharks smelling blood in the water. Mind you some of them were awesome and I'm still good friends with them. The majority of the rest were a mix of creeps, predators, and asses. I went to a newer store in the area though and they seem to have a healthy player pool. Some of the same creeps and asses but a decent spread of okay people. My experience could have been tainted by the stores I hit back then.

that seems about par for the course, i know a couple people nearly 30 with wives and homes who still play mtg because they still love it so drat much and they describe this situation as it appears from that end - don't bring your wife to a tournament because it'll just be a nonstop creepshow for her, like 3/4ths of the crowd will be immature, even for teenage standards, dweebs who'll throw literal tantrums if games don't go their way and most adults will be of the kind that never grew out of that phase - relatively normal people are few and few between but they almost make it worth it because a game with cards featuring dragons and wizards should be pretty friendly and light even tho it's done within a competition

Arc Hammer
Mar 4, 2013

Got any deathsticks?
Pyf card game horror stories.

Hyrax Attack!
Jan 13, 2009

We demand to be taken seriously

Has anyone been to a nerd store that tried to be a restaurant? It's not something to be half assed. We went to a nerd bar/restaurant and it seemed like a great idea. Sufficient space, fun themed drinks, and lots of available boardgames to try out.

The owner seems to have hired close friends with no regard for if they had worked in a restaurant before. Confused host, indifferent waitstaff that abandoned tables, and long time to get the bill. We were there a few years ago and haven't been back, I checked their most recent Yelp reviews and people are concerned their outside deck is going to collapse.

Rhyno
Mar 22, 2003
Probation
Can't post for 10 years!

Hyrax Attack! posted:

Has anyone been to a nerd store that tried to be a restaurant? It's not something to be half assed. We went to a nerd bar/restaurant and it seemed like a great idea. Sufficient space, fun themed drinks, and lots of available boardgames to try out.

The owner seems to have hired close friends with no regard for if they had worked in a restaurant before. Confused host, indifferent waitstaff that abandoned tables, and long time to get the bill. We were there a few years ago and haven't been back, I checked their most recent Yelp reviews and people are concerned their outside deck is going to collapse.

There's a nerd BAR here locally and it's a loving joke.

Cythereal
Nov 8, 2009

I love the potoo,
and the potoo loves you.
A nearby public library branch has a cafe inside the library and it's pretty neat. The library staff watch the cafe area like hawks, though, and are unusually strict about enforcing rules there.

Elodious
Sep 9, 2004
Look at all these porno books... But theres no time for that now...
Here is a pallet cleansing Warhammer 40k story to balance out all the MtG stories.

I entered in a friendly mini-Warhammer 40k campaign many years ago. I forget the name of the campaign, but it was based around taking and holding various parts of a city which in turn gave you some bonuses to your army. I played orks and my one and only opponent for three straight games was a dude playing demons.

I say three because we ended in a draw every time we played. The first two games were around 1500-1850 points. His giant demon-robot guy (the name escapes me) would always get mired by my sea of grots. All my other ork boys would get murdered by demons. Then time would run out. The organizer eventually told us we needed to wrap it up, as everyone else had already faced off the past two weeks.

I offered playing a lower point game. I think perhaps 500-750 points. This being the third week, maybe we would finish up quick and get another game in that evening.

Not only was the quickest game of Warhammer 40k I ever played, it was the only one were I caused my opponent to totally give up on the game. I'm not some super cunning player or a huge cheater. I just had the world's luckiest dice rolls that night. Every time a demon squad would teleport in, they seemed to one at a time. They were usually close enough to get charged, and die under the weight of 120 attack rolls.

After 45 minutes of play I had not only tabled him, but I won without loosing a single ork. He quietly picked up his smokes and left his entire pile of 40k crap at the store and drove off. He never came back.

One month later someone at the store divided up all his unpainted, horribly green-stuffed miniatures. I was not there that day so I got nothing.

Puppy Time
Mar 1, 2005


kreyla posted:

Man, this thread. There's a game shop near me that seems cool and hosts a lot of events and introductory sessions, but now I am afraid to go there to learn how to play paper DnD like I've always wanted. Because I am a shy girl goon and the thought of being miladied by smelly sperglords terrifies me. :(

IME, a combination of resting bitch face and strongly enforced boundaries are enough to keep most of them back.

Mostly just don't worry about being nice or sparing anyone's feelings; don't be a dick, but remember that a lot of nerds are really, really bad at taking a hint and need to be told bluntly, "No I am not interested." The worst ones usually latch onto the ladies who aren't willing to put their foot down. If that's you, maybe find someone who's willing to run people off. Or just use variations of "Oh, I don't think my boyfriend would appreciate that."

Rhyno
Mar 22, 2003
Probation
Can't post for 10 years!

Puppy Time posted:

Mostly just don't worry about being nice or sparing anyone's feelings; don't be a dick, but remember that a lot of nerds are really, really bad at taking a hint and need to be told bluntly, "No I am not interested." The worst ones usually latch onto the ladies who aren't willing to put their foot down. If that's you, maybe find someone who's willing to run people off. Or just use variations of "Oh, I don't think my boyfriend would appreciate that."

This is the worst thing. We have quite a few women playing MTG at our store and there's always a huge creep.

A while back this girl (she was only 18) started playing FNM and shortly after began dating another player. Turned out he was a pedophile in training so she quickly broke up with him and later started dating one of the other guys who was well adjusted and normal. When word got out that she was single for a time the sharks were out and a guy who had been shopping with us and playing in store for 12 years (long before I even worked there) had announced he was going to make a play for her. The funny thing is he had a kid with a woman who supported him, fed him, put a roof over his head, everything. And here he was announcing his intentions to bang someone else.
So anyways, he makes his big plan to court her but it stops short when he finds out she has a new guy and he loses his loving poo poo. He found out during FNM and in the middle of a round he flips out, kicks his chair away and tries to flip the table. He gets in that dude's face and starts making all kinds of threats and insults to the point where I had to step between them. He then says he's going to KILL that other dude which was my breaking point and I told him to get out and never come back. He leaves in a huff, calls the entire room a bunch of fags and knocks poo poo over as he leaves. He calls repeatedly over the next week trying to get our boss to fire everyone who was working that night and allow him back in the store. This didn't work out for him.
This is even funnier because the girl in question absolutely hates him and told us the thought of him makes her physically ill.

The other, more recent incident involves another FNM player's mother. He's just turned 14 and can't drive to the events so his very nice mother brings him and sometimes hangs out in the game room til he's done. This has exposed her to some pretty rude and disgusting comments and behavior. You see she is absolutely stunning. She has this incredibly warm beauty and on top of it she is incredibly kind and single so the gross dudes think it's an invitation. Now she tends to go for a walk around the complex and when she has t wait in store she'll hang out up front with us.


Elodious posted:

One month later someone at the store divided up all his unpainted, horribly green-stuffed miniatures. I was not there that day so I got nothing.

We have a shelf in the storage area for abandoned gaming gear. But we date the day it is found and we wait 90 days before we do anything with it. If we know the name of the person who left it behind it stays on the shelf indefinitely.

felch me daddy jr.
Oct 30, 2009

Rhyno posted:

pedophile in training

This ranks pretty high on my list of the most disturbing phrases I've ever heard.

Rhyno
Mar 22, 2003
Probation
Can't post for 10 years!

tyblazitar posted:

This ranks pretty high on my list of the most disturbing phrases I've ever heard.

You see it a lot in gaming. Dude started wearing anime t-shirts with clear depictions of children on them. He got a new girlfriend later that year and she had a 4 year old daughter.



You can guess what happened from there.

Somfin
Oct 25, 2010

In my🦚 experience🛠️ the big things🌑 don't teach you anything🤷‍♀️.

Nap Ghost

Rhyno posted:

You see it a lot in gaming. Dude started wearing anime t-shirts with clear depictions of children on them. He got a new girlfriend later that year and she had a 4 year old daughter.



You can guess what happened from there.

Arrests, right? Like, full on arrests that happened before anything went wrong and no-one got hurt and he's in mandatory therapy / jail now, right? :ohdear:

sinburger
Sep 10, 2006

*hurk*

Hyrax Attack! posted:

Has anyone been to a nerd store that tried to be a restaurant?


Stormcrow Tavern in Vancouver is the cats rear end. They have the food, drinks, and nerding dialed right the gently caress in. They were popular enough to open up a second pub.

TheSmilingJackal
Apr 30, 2007

Don't worry, it's a very heavy feather.
On a less horrific note-

Hyrax Attack! posted:

Has anyone been to a nerd store that tried to be a restaurant? It's not something to be half assed. We went to a nerd bar/restaurant and it seemed like a great idea. Sufficient space, fun themed drinks, and lots of available boardgames to try out.

The owner seems to have hired close friends with no regard for if they had worked in a restaurant before. Confused host, indifferent waitstaff that abandoned tables, and long time to get the bill. We were there a few years ago and haven't been back, I checked their most recent Yelp reviews and people are concerned their outside deck is going to collapse.

I've been to three nerd restaurants near the Seattle area.

Mox in Bellevue has a nerd store (mostly Warhammer and board games) attached to a normalish restaurant. The staff doesn't seem nerdy, and they are most just there to do their jobs.

AFK Tavern in Everett is only a restaurant but it is drenched in nerd culture, from menu items like 'dwarf battle bread" & "unicorn bacon", to Star Wars banners on the wall. The service there is pretty good, obviously nerds but competent. This is a great place to spend a Friday with friends.

There was an AFK in Renton. I heard it wasn't opened by the people in Everett, just some dumbasses using the name for nerd cred. They clearly hired nerds with no restaurant experience. That place was never worth the time and didn't last long.

timefly
Apr 29, 2008

Somfin posted:

Arrests, right? Like, full on arrests that happened before anything went wrong and no-one got hurt and he's in mandatory therapy / jail now, right? :ohdear:

Why would anyone be arrested if nothing had happened yet

Vandar
Sep 14, 2007

Isn't That Right, Chairman?



Hyrax Attack! posted:

Has anyone been to a nerd store that tried to be a restaurant? It's not something to be half assed. We went to a nerd bar/restaurant and it seemed like a great idea. Sufficient space, fun themed drinks, and lots of available boardgames to try out.

The owner seems to have hired close friends with no regard for if they had worked in a restaurant before. Confused host, indifferent waitstaff that abandoned tables, and long time to get the bill. We were there a few years ago and haven't been back, I checked their most recent Yelp reviews and people are concerned their outside deck is going to collapse.

We've got a nerd coffee shop/bar nearby called Geeksboro (because it's in Greensboro :v:) and they're pretty cool. They have a theater set up downstairs and do a lot of movies and TV premieres. It's pretty nice.

hard counter
Jan 2, 2015





sinburger posted:

Stormcrow Tavern in Vancouver is the cats rear end. They have the food, drinks, and nerding dialed right the gently caress in. They were popular enough to open up a second pub.

right, i remember those guys from a piece of art they commissioned for their menus that i also posted in the weird fan art thread

kreyla
Dec 31, 2008
Thanks for the advice guys, you're awesome! I'll post a trip report if I am brave enough to venture there next week.

Somfin
Oct 25, 2010

In my🦚 experience🛠️ the big things🌑 don't teach you anything🤷‍♀️.

Nap Ghost

timefly posted:

Why would anyone be arrested if nothing had happened yet

Bring on the Minority Report future.

SUPERMAN'S GAL PAL
Feb 21, 2006

Holy Moly! DARKSEID IS!

Puppy Time posted:

IME, a combination of resting bitch face and strongly enforced boundaries are enough to keep most of them back.

Mostly just don't worry about being nice or sparing anyone's feelings; don't be a dick, but remember that a lot of nerds are really, really bad at taking a hint and need to be told bluntly, "No I am not interested." The worst ones usually latch onto the ladies who aren't willing to put their foot down. If that's you, maybe find someone who's willing to run people off. Or just use variations of "Oh, I don't think my boyfriend would appreciate that."

It really, really sucks that this is what women and feminine-presenting folks have to/are expected to resort to just to play some card/mini/RPGs and possibly make friends in the process, or have a regular social activity. "Enough to keep most of them back." What does an already shy nerd do with the scumbags who fall outside of "most," especially if the other players or staff reinforce a toxic culture? Because believe me, no amount of bitch face or boyfriend claims or boundaries will dissuade those who fall outside of "most." And they'll only keep doing it when the previous victim goes to another shop or quits the hobby altogether.

I meant to post this a lot earlier to the person who expressed being terrified of finding a DnD group: look for a women-only, or possibly LGBTQ-only/friendly group in your area. Look up your local shops and see if any reviews give you a general impression of how staff handles gaming, especially if these situations are mentioned. If you feel comfortable visiting the shop check out the vibe before going to a game. Again, if you feel comfortable/safe doing so ask the owner/management about how they handle harassment in the store. Maybe even email about it instead to avoid face-to-face shyness. A shop that doesn't have a plan in place for this or at least acknowledges harassment is always a possibility isn't a shop worth giving your money to/spending time in.

I spent a few years as a game judge at a local shop with management that absolutely didn't put up with harassment of any sort, including spelling it out in the house rules. This translated to large groups of all ages where women were comfortable participating and parents were comfortable with their kids there. Were there other frustrations? Sure, but I'd rather deal with babysitting and correcting hygiene (see my story up-thread) than pedos and creeps.

I think a couple of a super nerdy 20-something's became friends/hooked up too, so :3:

BIG FLUFFY DOG
Feb 16, 2011

On the internet, nobody knows you're a dog.


TheSmilingJackal posted:

menu items like 'dwarf battle bread"

If you order it, do they just give you a rock?

Puppy Time
Mar 1, 2005


SUPERMAN'S GAL PAL posted:

I meant to post this a lot earlier to the person who expressed being terrified of finding a DnD group: look for a women-only, or possibly LGBTQ-only/friendly group in your area.

Are those common? I don't think I've seen anything like it in my (admittedly small) city.

Rigged Death Trap
Feb 13, 2012

BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP

BIG FLUFFY DOG posted:

If you order it, do they just give you a rock?

Its a fossilized baguette.

Elodious
Sep 9, 2004
Look at all these porno books... But theres no time for that now...
Here's another 40k fun-venture: the time I met the Golden Dragon.

My then fiance and I lived in Springfield, IL for a few years. I never really made any friends there but I did try to get out and play some Warhammer to at least meet some new people. Which never worked. Every time I went into the one decent store in town on their 40k night, it seemed like nobody ever showed. I played one of the owners a couple times. So I decided to try a Saturday afternoon.

The place was packed and I was standing by having stilted conversations with other people watching games going on. The front of the store was all glass windows, and outside everyone saw a troubled man coming.

He hopped out of a old model truck as a world-class fashion plate. He wore an open karate gi jacket, super-short workout shorts from the 80's and a pair of flip-flops. Overweight & with a thick head of hair and a mustache, you can probably guess this guy was drunk as hell just watching him stumble in the store.

He started asking people what they were playing in this overly dramatic voice. Looking over their wall of miniatures and books, he spun around next to me and pointed to a piece of terrain on the table.

'Haha! What would YOU do if the devil appeared HERE!?!"

Which I didn't answer because the store owner tells him if he wasn't there to buy anything he needed to "get out or buy something". So he leaves and wobbles out to his truck. But he doesn't drive away. He's sitting out there for maybe 5 minutes. Can he find his keys? Does he have a hand gun? We don't know.

He waddles back in announces himself as "The Golden Dragon". He has come with a wallet full of precious gold and silver and jewels and intends to buy the finest whore in the land.

Which he was unable to do, as at this point the owner told him he was "calling the loving cops".

UWBW
Aug 3, 2013

Permanently banned from the Alamo

Elodious posted:

Here's another 40k fun-venture: the time I met the Golden Dragon.

My then fiance and I lived in Springfield, IL for a few years. I never really made any friends there but I did try to get out and play some Warhammer to at least meet some new people. Which never worked. Every time I went into the one decent store in town on their 40k night, it seemed like nobody ever showed. I played one of the owners a couple times. So I decided to try a Saturday afternoon.

The place was packed and I was standing by having stilted conversations with other people watching games going on. The front of the store was all glass windows, and outside everyone saw a troubled man coming.

He hopped out of a old model truck as a world-class fashion plate. He wore an open karate gi jacket, super-short workout shorts from the 80's and a pair of flip-flops. Overweight & with a thick head of hair and a mustache, you can probably guess this guy was drunk as hell just watching him stumble in the store.

He started asking people what they were playing in this overly dramatic voice. Looking over their wall of miniatures and books, he spun around next to me and pointed to a piece of terrain on the table.

'Haha! What would YOU do if the devil appeared HERE!?!"

Which I didn't answer because the store owner tells him if he wasn't there to buy anything he needed to "get out or buy something". So he leaves and wobbles out to his truck. But he doesn't drive away. He's sitting out there for maybe 5 minutes. Can he find his keys? Does he have a hand gun? We don't know.

He waddles back in announces himself as "The Golden Dragon". He has come with a wallet full of precious gold and silver and jewels and intends to buy the finest whore in the land.

Which he was unable to do, as at this point the owner told him he was "calling the loving cops".

That guy sounds great, actually. I'd buy him a beer and a cab.

seance snacks
Mar 30, 2007

SUPERMAN'S GAL PAL posted:

I meant to post this a lot earlier to the person who expressed being terrified of finding a DnD group: look for a women-only, or possibly LGBTQ-only/friendly group in your area.

Not a girl, but in a similar vein to this I've had great luck just avoiding the game stores altogether. The few times over the years I would go in there trying to play Pathfinder or D&D I could never get anything to stick. For every 1 cool person at the table there would be 3 insufferables.

That is until about 6 months ago. A friend of mine started a group and it's basically a sunday night D&D dinner party. And its really not hard to put together, before this I would say 5 out of the 7 of us had never even played before. All you need is a set of the dice & one experienced person to DM. Other than that, its all about having fun. And we certainly do.

Disproportionate Orphan
Apr 17, 2009

Elodious posted:

Here's another 40k fun-venture: the time I met the Golden Dragon.

My then fiance and I lived in Springfield, IL for a few years. I never really made any friends there but I did try to get out and play some Warhammer to at least meet some new people. Which never worked. Every time I went into the one decent store in town on their 40k night, it seemed like nobody ever showed. I played one of the owners a couple times. So I decided to try a Saturday afternoon.

The place was packed and I was standing by having stilted conversations with other people watching games going on. The front of the store was all glass windows, and outside everyone saw a troubled man coming.

He hopped out of a old model truck as a world-class fashion plate. He wore an open karate gi jacket, super-short workout shorts from the 80's and a pair of flip-flops. Overweight & with a thick head of hair and a mustache, you can probably guess this guy was drunk as hell just watching him stumble in the store.

He started asking people what they were playing in this overly dramatic voice. Looking over their wall of miniatures and books, he spun around next to me and pointed to a piece of terrain on the table.

'Haha! What would YOU do if the devil appeared HERE!?!"

Which I didn't answer because the store owner tells him if he wasn't there to buy anything he needed to "get out or buy something". So he leaves and wobbles out to his truck. But he doesn't drive away. He's sitting out there for maybe 5 minutes. Can he find his keys? Does he have a hand gun? We don't know.

He waddles back in announces himself as "The Golden Dragon". He has come with a wallet full of precious gold and silver and jewels and intends to buy the finest whore in the land.

Which he was unable to do, as at this point the owner told him he was "calling the loving cops".

And then everyone clapped.

Elodious
Sep 9, 2004
Look at all these porno books... But theres no time for that now...

Disproportionate Orphan posted:

And then everyone clapped.

I wish.

Everyone just went back to their games as if a drunk man hadn't just walked into that store with his gut hanging out.

Yngwie Mangosteen
Aug 23, 2007

Elodious posted:

I wish.

Everyone just went back to their games as if a drunk man hadn't just walked into that store with his gut hanging out.

And that drunk... was Einstein!

SUPERMAN'S GAL PAL
Feb 21, 2006

Holy Moly! DARKSEID IS!

Puppy Time posted:

Are those common? I don't think I've seen anything like it in my (admittedly small) city.

I'm unsure tbh, mostly spitballing ways to encourage participating in DnD sans creeps. I know of people who have started exclusive groups because of past bad experiences, including one black woman where the group is only for same because of racism in previous groups. Noslo's experience does seem to be more common: people of an already existing social circle going "hey, this looks fun, let's try it!" and holding sessions at home as part of a get-together.

Small cities can be tougher, but there's a game called Tabletop Simulator where DnD and other RPGs can be played online - different experience than in-person sure, but you can still learn DnD and have fun in a private server.

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Perestroika
Apr 8, 2010

SUPERMAN'S GAL PAL posted:

I'm unsure tbh, mostly spitballing ways to encourage participating in DnD sans creeps. I know of people who have started exclusive groups because of past bad experiences, including one black woman where the group is only for same because of racism in previous groups. Noslo's experience does seem to be more common: people of an already existing social circle going "hey, this looks fun, let's try it!" and holding sessions at home as part of a get-together.

Small cities can be tougher, but there's a game called Tabletop Simulator where DnD and other RPGs can be played online - different experience than in-person sure, but you can still learn DnD and have fun in a private server.

There are also online platforms such as roll20. It's basically a chatroom with a dice-roller, a shared central map where you can push tokens around and make fancy drawings, and a forum for finding groups and players.

It's something of a different experience (things tend to move much more slowly since everything needs to be typed out rather than said), but it does have its upsides. If you're new to RPGs it can be much easier to immerse yourself in your character and feel less self-conscious about doing silly voices or whatever when you're not physically in the same room as everybody else. And if things do feel uncomfortable for whatever reason, you can just bail with the press of a button.

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