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Al Borland Corp. posted:I ran into a cleric once that could turn loving cats! Cats! There's lots of weird rear end religious rules out there. I once created a cat golem believe it or not. Made the mistake though of using live cats; turns out cats LOVE squirming around in a big pile anyway (because it's so warm) so it became this living embodiment of happiness and contentment. I tried sicking it on the local townsfolk but children kept yelling KITTIES in a happy voice and jumping into the kitten pile getting their faces licked. All the happiness turned it like SUPER good and to this day there's is an adorable bunch of cats Voltron-ing their way across the country side, absorbing any lonely strays, protecting lost children, purring extremely loudly and (apparently) punishing grouchy misers by having all its many cat butts poop at once all over their back stoop
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Sep 21, 2017 02:01
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naem posted:I once created a cat golem believe it or not. Made the mistake though of using live cats; turns out cats LOVE squirming around in a big pile anyway (because it's so warm) so it became this living embodiment of happiness and contentment. You should've used sphinx cats. Those things are uggo
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Sep 21, 2017 02:08
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Skypie posted:You should've used sphinx cats. Those things are uggo eh then you get a cat golem that's super temperature sensitive and can't go out in sunlight
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Sep 21, 2017 02:14
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Al Borland Corp. posted:I ran into a cleric once that could turn loving cats! Cats! There's lots of weird rear end religious rules out there. I have a few cleric levels from back in the day, and our cult was highly fascinated with technology. I'm still able to turn puritans and Amish.
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Sep 21, 2017 02:39
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Can I keep posting here even if I'm only Chaotic Neutral? I'll show you guys the Void of Slightly Angry Nothingness spell
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Sep 21, 2017 02:42
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HELLBITCH posted:Can I keep posting here even if I'm only Chaotic Neutral? I'll show you guys the Void of Slightly Angry Nothingness spell Honestly, most consider CN as "functionally evil" anyway. They just make for lovely minions since most are loving crazy.
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Sep 21, 2017 02:50
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Crap, i think my main self lost a fight with some adventurers. I woke up even though i havent slept in 70k years and had flesh again.
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Sep 21, 2017 02:51
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Bacontotem posted:Crap, i think my main self lost a fight with some adventurers. I woke up even though i havent slept in 70k years and had flesh again. Oh poo poo. Do you know where you are? Can you find your phylactery?
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Sep 21, 2017 03:03
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naem posted:Child protecting Voltron cat golem Unless it targets playground sandboxes for pooping.
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Sep 21, 2017 03:03
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How does this thread have 34 pages? I thought maybe it devolved into trump chat but no it's all nerd poo poo
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Sep 21, 2017 03:11
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facebook jihad posted:How does this thread have 34 pages? I thought maybe it devolved into trump chat but no it's all nerd poo poo Fighter spotted
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Sep 21, 2017 03:16
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Fenrir posted:I have a few cleric levels from back in the day, and our cult was highly fascinated with technology. I'm still able to turn puritans and Amish. Does it work during rumspringa?
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Sep 21, 2017 03:16
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Rumspriga is the perfect time to corrupt a virtuous soul and deliver it to the Power of your choice. Don't turn them, embrace them! Just make sure you get them before they snort a bunch of powdered hippogriff and butcher a traveling caravan or two.
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Sep 21, 2017 03:33
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Hotdog In A Hallway posted:That is cool my dude, but it is not very evil. It was a MAJOR failing on my part I admit. I lost access to a lot of my top evil skill tree spells for the longest time; had to run around spamming minor hexes to turn fully evil again: souring people's milk, spooking horses, causing warts etc. Heard that cat was minor diety now actually
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Sep 21, 2017 03:39
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[quote="“Al Borland Corp.”" post="“476591837”"] What the poo poo? I just looked in my book, and you’re right they count as undead! I know that’s wrong though. I went and looked again, and now it says I’m right and they are just constructs. I put a bookmark in, closed the book, opened it again, it says they’re undead. What the gently caress Edit: oooohhhhh gently caress I just tried to cast a simple spell and it wouldn’t work, took off my flak jacket and then it worked. Can’t cast spells while wearing armor! Of course I can’t! Why would I think I could? Why do I even own loving armor? Except I cast a spell like a half hour ago while wearing the same armor. I know I did because it’s a floating disc and it’s duration isn’t up yet. I’m... I’m stuck oscillating through editions? [/quote] I warned you about Keeping The Laws, bro! I told you, dawg! [quote="“facebook jihad”" post="“476603250”"] How does this thread have 34 pages? I thought maybe it devolved into trump chat but no it’s all nerd poo poo [/quote] Oh no, a cool guy is insulting us evil wizards! Somebody curse him.
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Sep 21, 2017 03:42
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My time with the light side gave me exposure to a lot of healing-type spells, written out, and tomes on the conceptual side of how they're constructed. The result is, I've developed shadow-energy based spells that restore necrotic tissue. Basically, I can heal the undead. In fact, I think i'll be able to magically restore flesh to a skeleton. Selectively restroring ligament, tendons, and other tissue will handily augment undead armies. Not funny, just cool i guess. Army maintenance has been the biggest pain in the rear end of being evil.
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Sep 21, 2017 03:42
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basic hitler posted:My time with the light side gave me exposure to a lot of healing-type spells, written out, and tomes on the conceptual side of how they're constructed. Shadowmending has been on the uptick in recent centuries because it's a nice way to circumvent certain Laws. You can't technically heal the undead since exposure to life energy or restoration will just shred them apart. On the other hand, it is possible to renew their animus source and that's what "heals" their wounds. Like you said, it's a nice way to handle upkeep on massive armies. It's also a good investment on your more expensive projects. Say, a dracolich or revenant lord
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Sep 21, 2017 03:46
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eh I just feed em lots of meat. It keeps them going somehow. Not sure HOW honestly, they just seem to mush it around their teeth happily and let it fall through their ribcage. Best part is you can just scooping it back up and keep feeding it to em (that's why I live in an ice fortress). Saves a lot on overhead too
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Sep 21, 2017 04:05
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Sometimes at feeding time I get creative and make a low level MEAT golem and set him loose in my underground ice labyrinth; you can just tell how happy the guys are chasing it around, clacking their choppers and CRICK CRUCK CRICK stomping around down there, throwing spears made of their own femurs at em. WHY LORD WHY HAST THOU CREATED ME WHY THIS TORMENT heh
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Sep 21, 2017 04:14
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So, I've been thinking of multiclassing into Bard. I already have a whole lot of minions, and I figure having an entire army of competent soldiers beats having a less competent army and one more Smite Good per day. Problem: Music tends to be a slippery slope to Good. So, anyone got any advice on how to keep it Evil? I'm headed in the Pop music direction and I've been studying up on subliminal/hypnotic product placement, if it helps. Do I need to sign on with one of the big corporations, or should I be able to keep it indie? It would be nice to have another revenue stream, too.
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Sep 21, 2017 07:52
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The augmented fourth is essential. bard isn't really a path to "goodness", in fact I have a team of dissonant bards who more or less travel sewing misinformation, or using their ability to draw a crowd for the purposes of causing magical amnesia in towns i have afflicted with evil things.
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Sep 21, 2017 08:07
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naem posted:Sometimes at feeding time I get creative and make a low level MEAT golem and set him loose in my underground ice labyrinth; you can just tell how happy the guys are chasing it around, clacking their choppers and CRICK CRUCK CRICK stomping around down there, throwing spears made of their own femurs at em. WHY LORD WHY HAST THOU CREATED ME WHY THIS TORMENT heh I minor in Enchantment for exactly this situation: charm a dumb fighter and lead him there, dispell it once the oaf is surrounded  also you can reanimate him then, I think you can't technically do this with a meat golem, can you?
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Sep 21, 2017 09:38
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I once knew a bard who more than dabbled in the arcane, and eventually was powerful enough to become a lich. I don't know how, but the sneaky fucker made "ode to the majestic mountain" his phylactery. Fucker is basically immortal now. Every time he screws up and gets himself smote, some drunk dwarf in a tavern starts to get nostalgic and boom, he pops right back up.
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Sep 21, 2017 10:08
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Double Monocle posted:I once knew a bard who more than dabbled in the arcane, and eventually was powerful enough to become a lich. Oh, that's clever. If he ever gets that song to chart he'll be invincible.
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Sep 21, 2017 11:12
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The most evil wizard of them all https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Grand_Wizard
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Sep 21, 2017 14:58
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vcvcvc12 posted:So, I've been thinking of multiclassing into Bard. I already have a whole lot of minions, and I figure having an entire army of competent soldiers beats having a less competent army and one more Smite Good per day. Why are you loving around with Pop when you know Metal is where it's at? Seriously bro, do you even Evil? Pop is just amoral. Double Monocle posted:I once knew a bard who more than dabbled in the arcane, and eventually was powerful enough to become a lich. Genius.
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Sep 21, 2017 15:41
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The most evil bard is Count Grishnackh from Burzum.
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Sep 21, 2017 15:51
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If you wanna be an evil bard play the bagpipes.
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Sep 21, 2017 15:56
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Pop music is under-utilized for evil purposes. We all know the power of repetitive chanting when calling upon the unholy and lost, right? Well pop music lets you take the repetitive chant and sell it to the brainless masses. Once it digs it's way into their pitiful brains, that earworm will not come out (literally if you use a real earworm, it curls itself around the aural processing center of the brain). Boom, now you have a low level Dominate or Suggestion on them, plus you can channel their humming and singing into powering your works Great and Terrible.
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Sep 22, 2017 16:49
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This implies a level of craftsmanship that, frankly, cannot be rushed.
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Sep 23, 2017 09:05
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Are jews wizards?
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Sep 23, 2017 21:26
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About the same percentage as the general population are.
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Sep 23, 2017 21:30
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Power_of_the_glory posted:Are jews wizards? Maybe if you didn't say things like that where they could hear you, you'd stop getting cursed all the time. Like Borland said, they have about the same percentage as any other group of people, but wizard senses are very keen unless you're gazing into a palantîr.
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Sep 23, 2017 22:06
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Power_of_the_glory posted:Are jews wizards? Jews aren't wizards, just like wizards aren't druids and druids aren't jews. Kind of like how hebrews aren't wizards but they are jews, and how necromancers aren't jews but they are wizards. So they're more of a different class with its own subclasses (kabahlists, orthodox, reform, hebrew, double hebrew, etc) as opposed to a wizard subclass.
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Sep 23, 2017 22:25
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Jewish wizards put some of the earliest research into Golem and servitor construction. Their alignment varies from person to person so isn't really suited to this thread.
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Sep 23, 2017 22:37
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Al Borland Corp. posted:Does it work during rumspringa? During rumspringa it has a chance to corrupt them!
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Sep 23, 2017 23:29
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Cops pulled me over last night after like ten mana potions too many... Had to hoop my phylactery. He saw the white fire diamond gifted to me by the dark lord Krondor and I just told him I was a hasidic Jeweler. Stupid humanoid cop.
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Sep 25, 2017 09:13
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God Of Paradise posted:I just told him I was a hasidic Jeweler. Truly evil. 👹
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Sep 25, 2017 21:52
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Should I get a vulture or a raven? I'm going to invest a lot of mystic power into it, so I probably can't do both.
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Oct 13, 2017 20:50
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Vultures smell like poo poo and they regurgitate rotten roadkill when startled as a defensive measure. Which can be great fun, but not in the tower
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Oct 13, 2017 20:59
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