Anonymous Confessions: I had an extremely weird dream that's going to become relevant

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > Anonymous Confessions: I had an extremely weird dream that's going to become relevant

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Incoherence: May 22, 2004; POYO AND TEAR

fruit on the bottom posted:

I think you're more likely to see an eyebrow raised for 22 and 30 tbh.

Yeah, this is sort of the genesis of the "half your age plus 7" thing: an 8 year age gap means something different if the younger party is 18 vs. 22 vs. 26. Even at 26 and 34 there's a chance that the dude is a manchild, but you should both have reached the "functioning adult" life stage by then and should be on somewhat equal footing.

# ? Sep 25, 2017 18:45

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# ? May 10, 2024 03:43

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I don't give a feck what two consenting adults do tbh

Also "friend" story sounds fake af. I want more therapy goon but I'm afraid he's probably dead or locked away without internet privileges or something.

# ? Sep 25, 2017 19:08

HerStuddMuffin: Aug 10, 2014; YOSPOS

I considered sending in an anonymous confession as his girlfriend, telling the thread that he is fine and happy with her and doesn't need us, but I wasn't sure I could make it creative/interesting enough. Plus, you know, :effort:

# ? Sep 25, 2017 19:14

Solice Kirsk: Jun 1, 2004; .

I'm 36 so the youngest I'd go is 26 and the highest would be 56. Unless there's a ton of money. Then I'd gently caress a 70 year old.

# ? Sep 25, 2017 19:34

TheKennedys: Sep 23, 2006; By my hand, I will take you from this godforsaken internet

Incoherence posted:

Yeah, this is sort of the genesis of the "half your age plus 7" thing: an 8 year age gap means something different if the younger party is 18 vs. 22 vs. 26. Even at 26 and 34 there's a chance that the dude is a manchild, but you should both have reached the "functioning adult" life stage by then and should be on somewhat equal footing.

I met and started dating my husband when I was 28 and he was 22 (now 37/30), but he was already a military vet by then and was divorcing his first wife so he had a bit more life to work with than most 22 year olds. :shrug:

At the 20s point it's really a matter of common sense, maturity and being a functional adult

# ? Sep 25, 2017 19:40

half coke half diet: Feb 3, 2006; I fight for all those men who have their nuts in a vice grip

I really like sociopath goon. He seems like one day he will do something he thinks is innocuous that will get a brick through his skull.

DarkNetGuy: Do the right thing, find a public PC and email the authorities about that poo poo. KiddyPorn is hosed as poo poo.

# ? Sep 25, 2017 20:57

Bust Rodd: Oct 21, 2008; by VideoGames

Yeah kiddie porn goon, you are essentially not calling 911 on a burning building because you don't want to be an arson suspect.

I'm 29 my last GF was 8.5 years older than me and cougars rule so I'm sorry if you have we re age hang ups. That being said, a 30 year old dating a 21-23 year old is hosed up because let's be honest your still just as inexperienced and retarded at 21 as you were at 18, but with 3 more years of "I'm an adult don't tell me what to do!" under your belt to help you justify it.

Here's a weird one, I caught up with my High School GF like 4 years ago, she is a year younger than me, so 24 at the time, and I asked about her new boyfriend.

She was living with a 55 year old man in a warehouse he was renovating with the dudes 15 year old son. She invited me to dinner there and I had to say yes out of morbid curiosity and because I still care about her as a friend.

The dude was a DEAD RINGER for her dad. It wasn't a "maaaaaaybe if you squint" it was a "no loving way" identical duplicate. He had the same job her father had and dressed the same and basically I ate dinner and got the hell out of there. A week later I called her and said "look I love you and I want you to be ok so I'm just gonna ask: are you aware that your partner looks exactly like your dad?" And she just said "oh yeah I know, mom thinks it's weird to, I haven't introduced him to dad yet".

A few months later he went with her to thanksgiving, he met her dad and dumped her on the spot and drove 4 hours back home leaving her there.

Age is just a number folks, but it can also be a big red flag.

# ? Sep 25, 2017 21:21

bradzilla: Oct 15, 2004

well it's called "daddy issues" for a reason

# ? Sep 25, 2017 21:23

loquacius: Oct 21, 2008

I think I read the inverse of that story in the r/relationships thread a while back

in that one, the poster knew her dad was dating someone really young and was already a little weirded out by that, but then actually met her and found out that the poster and the girlfriend were the same age and looked extremely similar to each other

# ? Sep 25, 2017 21:26

Theophany: Jul 22, 2014; SUCCHIAMI IL MIO CAZZO DA DIETRO, RANA RAGAZZO

2022 FIA Formula 1 WDC

Bust Rodd posted:

Yeah kiddie porn goon, you are essentially not calling 911 on a burning building because you don't want to be an arson suspect.

I'm 29 my last GF was 8.5 years older than me and cougars rule so I'm sorry if you have we re age hang ups. That being said, a 30 year old dating a 21-23 year old is hosed up because let's be honest your still just as inexperienced and retarded at 21 as you were at 18, but with 3 more years of "I'm an adult don't tell me what to do!" under your belt to help you justify it.

Here's a weird one, I caught up with my High School GF like 4 years ago, she is a year younger than me, so 24 at the time, and I asked about her new boyfriend.

She was living with a 55 year old man in a warehouse he was renovating with the dudes 15 year old son. She invited me to dinner there and I had to say yes out of morbid curiosity and because I still care about her as a friend.

The dude was a DEAD RINGER for her dad. It wasn't a "maaaaaaybe if you squint" it was a "no loving way" identical duplicate. He had the same job her father had and dressed the same and basically I ate dinner and got the hell out of there. A week later I called her and said "look I love you and I want you to be ok so I'm just gonna ask: are you aware that your partner looks exactly like your dad?" And she just said "oh yeah I know, mom thinks it's weird to, I haven't introduced him to dad yet".

A few months later he went with her to thanksgiving, he met her dad and dumped her on the spot and drove 4 hours back home leaving her there.

Age is just a number folks, but it can also be a big red flag.

I mean, if you're the young, virile facsimile of their dad, ride that loving wave :shrug:

# ? Sep 25, 2017 21:28

timefly: Apr 29, 2008

loquacius posted:

Considering the stories that get posted there, it kind of makes sense. The kind of guy who'd seek out and connect with a girl more than ten years younger than him probably has some personal issues, which can result in some pretty funny trainwreck stories.

If they're freaking out about an 8-year difference, though, their tolerance is going down. 26 and 34 seems fine to me.

Oh yeah, no argument there. My mom's parents, though, met when she was 15 and he was 33. They got married the day she turned 18. But that was in 1935.

# ? Sep 25, 2017 22:19

McGavin: Sep 18, 2012

Dad hot, so what?

# ? Sep 26, 2017 01:09

Bobby Digital: Sep 4, 2009

McGavin posted:

Dad bae, so what?

# ? Sep 26, 2017 01:40

facebook jihad: Dec 18, 2007; by R. Guyovich

loquacius posted:

I think I read the inverse of that story in the r/relationships thread a while back

in that one, the poster knew her dad was dating someone really young and was already a little weirded out by that, but then actually met her and found out that the poster and the girlfriend were the same age and looked extremely similar to each other

You sure this wasn't a Brooke Hogan AMA?

# ? Sep 26, 2017 01:58

half coke half diet: Feb 3, 2006; I fight for all those men who have their nuts in a vice grip

Nothing says loving like loving your dadclone cause you want your daddio. I mean why not, incest wont produce any real problems until you do it for like 4 straight generations.

# ? Sep 26, 2017 02:02

snoo: Jul 5, 2007

timefly posted:

I've seen people in the relationship thread make a big deal about a couple aged 26 and 34, which were mine and my boyfriend's ages when we met. It's ridiculous

most of the time, the problem is that half of those stories include 'we've been dating for 8-10 years', usually starting when one person was underage or not even in their 20s, meaning yeah, it's kinda gross

# ? Sep 26, 2017 13:51

shut up blegum: Dec 17, 2008; --->Plastic Lawn<---

Bust Rodd posted:

A few months later he went with her to thanksgiving, he met her dad and dumped her on the spot and drove 4 hours back home leaving her there.

Why did he dump her? Was he also freaked out that he looked just like her dad? I'd think a 55 year old dude dating a 24 year old girl wouldn't really care about that.

# ? Sep 26, 2017 15:05

loquacius: Oct 21, 2008

quote:

Goon with the internship again. Decided to write a quick response since it seems the thread is slow. Please stop talking about the age of consent. Also gently caress you Scientology man, your organization is just a cult that preys on the weak and unfortunate.

Something very important I forgot to mention. I may have been working here for 6 months, but only three days a week and for around 4-5 hours each day. I also took around 3-4 weeks off due to vacations booked way before I got the interview or times when I was told not to come in. I haven't updated my total working time yet but it might be around 200+ hours, or around 60 days. Does that sound better or worse? I also have this internship labeled on my resume as a "consultant" position, which is technically true and looks good to employers.

The app is made in Unreal Engine using Blueprint Visual Scripting, which allows for an artist like me who has little code experience to create scripts that are identical to and convertible to C++. I did 100% of this scripting from scratch with no templates or whatever established coders use. The portfolio piece that got their attention was my prototype of a racing game. The cars sucked and I have no game design experience, but the UI I made for it was top notch.

I initially made the app with one main feature, the VR viewer, but when reviewed I got suggestions to add other things. They considered their suggestions just spitballing, but now the app pretty much has the potential to display absolutely everything the company does along with having a distinct visual style synonymous to their branding. It's really an incredible thing that 6 months ago I would have said was impossible for me to do. It's going to be a great show of potential on my own portfolio, but like I said before this type of work has nothing to do with my original major, which was much more art-oriented.

I am scared to death on asking about my future here. If they say no, do I continue working on the app or leave? What kind of person would I be to leave a project 90% done? I also would no longer have access to the tools I need to work on VR or mobile devices. I spent 8 months before this applying for tons of internships to no reply. The only offer I got before this was to do SPEC WORK, where a company asked me to create another project of this scale on my own time with no pay just for the chance of an interview. I ignored that offer. We were taught to not give away free labor at all and that was something I so vehemently believed in. I eventually broke on this principle as the months after my graduation started to look like years.

I'll probably be 100% finished in two weeks.

I had a response to this all typed up before realizing he sent in another followup

quote:

Hopefully this gets in in time. Intern Goon here again.

After writing the last email I visited my superiors to ask about my transportation check being late. They apologized for the inconvenience and said it's all cause they are currently working with the higher ups to try and get me on a part-time schedule with pay! They also praised my work yet again and said I'm doing an incredible job. I'm gonna get the transportation money on Wednesday, but this is good news to hear. Wish me luck!

That is good to hear

Hope it goes well!

# ? Sep 26, 2017 15:14

loquacius: Oct 21, 2008

Those two were basically the same one so here's one more

quote:

I was a sociopath as a kid and still worry that I might be as a grown man.

I used to view the world as not being real; the only reality was what I saw and did. Like I imagined things just disappeared when I wasn't around. I started testing it by elaborately arranging things in my closet, closing the door, then opening it again to see if things changed. Of course they never did but that wasn't enough.

I started getting some really messed up ideas on morality because of my worldview. I used to play in a local landfill that had a ton of rats, crows, and all kinds of bugs. I started killing bugs to "free them" from my world.

I also started collecting metal that people threw away and taking it to the local recycling plant. Over one summer I made 300 dollars and bought a BB gun.

I started shooting at the crows and rats and got really good at it, to the point that I could knock one senseless and sometimes even hit them just right and crush their skull or ding an arm or leg enough to leave them helpless.

I started "freeing them" from my world but pretty quickly got bored and resorted to cutting them open to see how they worked.

I was back in school at this point and ended up failing English, which led to my getting a tutor. I didn't have much free time then, I stopped going to the landfill and gradually grew out of my weird habit.

For a few years now I've been looking at weirder and weirder porn online; mostly hentai thst involves mutilation, body transformations, rape, and extreme violence. I am also a virgin and terrified of actual physical intimacy with a women, since I rarely get an erection outside of looking at this weird porn.

I believe I might be fundamentally wrong in the head and don't see how anyone can help. I have considered therapy but am too ashamed to share this with anyone in person.

As an Internet expert in talking out my rear end I think maybe you should look for a psychiatrist rather than a therapist, but either way you are going to have to talk about your issues. Remember, a professional is a professional. You wouldn't want to show a boil on your rear end to a friend at a party, but you'd want to show it to a doctor. Talking about your weird childhood killing bugs and rats is the same kind of deal.

# ? Sep 26, 2017 15:19

half coke half diet: Feb 3, 2006; I fight for all those men who have their nuts in a vice grip

loquacius posted:

Those two were basically the same one so here's one more

As an Internet expert in talking out my rear end I think maybe you should look for a psychiatrist rather than a therapist, but either way you are going to have to talk about your issues. Remember, a professional is a professional. You wouldn't want to show a boil on your rear end to a friend at a party, but you'd want to show it to a doctor. Talking about your weird childhood killing bugs and rats is the same kind of deal.

That is weird, and I hope besides the crazy porn he doesn't /r/incel cause he sounds like a poster child. If you not, more power to you, and seek therapy for this poo poo. World don't need more Serial Killers.

# ? Sep 26, 2017 15:33

Fintilgin: Sep 29, 2004; Fintilgin sweeps!

loquacius posted:

Those two were basically the same one so here's one more

As an Internet expert in talking out my rear end I think maybe you should look for a psychiatrist rather than a therapist, but either way you are going to have to talk about your issues. Remember, a professional is a professional. You wouldn't want to show a boil on your rear end to a friend at a party, but you'd want to show it to a doctor. Talking about your weird childhood killing bugs and rats is the same kind of deal.

Yeah, this. No need to be ashamed. A competent professional has talked to many folks with stranger, worse, or more frightening problems. They're literally there to help you. Go talk to someone.

# ? Sep 26, 2017 17:53

Fender Anarchist: May 20, 2009; Fender Anarchist

loquacius posted:

You wouldn't want to show a boil on your rear end to a friend at a party, but you'd want to show it to a doctor.

sounds like you go to boring parties OP

# ? Sep 26, 2017 18:28

LethalGeek: Nov 4, 2009

Wait you all wear pants at parties? Sounds dull

# ? Sep 26, 2017 18:55

burial: Sep 13, 2002; actually, that won't be necessary.

I wear togas. Well, a toga. And not at parties - just in general. It's gold and I think it was my mother's.

Everyone thinks I'm delightful. Or at least "delightfully eccentric."

All of that is cool, right? Everything I just typed is cool?

# ? Sep 26, 2017 19:41

christmas boots: Oct 15, 2012; To these sing-alongs 🎤of siren 🧜🏻‍♀️songs
To oohs😮 to ahhs😱 to 👏big👏applause👏
With all of my 😡anger I scream🤬 and shout📢
🇺🇸America🦅, I love you 🥰but you're freaking 💦me 😳out; Biscuit Hider

You don't shed your physical forms and exist as luminescent energy beings at parties?

Lol, gently caress that noise.

# ? Sep 26, 2017 20:15

got any sevens: Feb 9, 2013; by Cyrano4747

lemon-lyme disease posted:

I wear togas. Well, a toga. And not at parties - just in general. It's gold and I think it was my mother's.

Everyone thinks I'm delightful. Or at least "delightfully eccentric."

All of that is cool, right? Everything I just typed is cool?

Life is a banquet and some people are starving

# ? Sep 26, 2017 20:42

soy: Jul 7, 2003; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

quote:

I used to view the world as not being real; the only reality was what I saw and did. Like I imagined things just disappeared when I wasn't around. I started testing it by elaborately arranging things in my closet, closing the door, then opening it again to see if things changed. Of course they never did but that wasn't enough.

What kind of test is that? Why would they change? Universe-simulation memory corruption?

Maybe you should just got for a PhD in quantum physics research, given your celibacy the long lab hours might workout fine.

Being a sex weirdo is fine and you can jerk off to all the dead animals you want, please just don't kill anyone irl, tia.

Also being celibate is fine, not having any friends is fine.

# ? Sep 26, 2017 22:11

Son of Man: Jan 29, 2003; by Azathoth

soy posted:

Maybe you should just got for a PhD in quantum physics research, given your celibacy the long lab hours might workout fine.

Being a sex weirdo is fine and you can jerk off to all the dead animals you want, please just don't kill anyone irl, tia.

Also being celibate is fine, not having any friends is fine.

hahahahahahaha

# ? Sep 26, 2017 23:08

Solice Kirsk: Jun 1, 2004; .

soy posted:

What kind of test is that? Why would they change? Universe-simulation memory corruption?

Maybe you should just got for a PhD in quantum physics research, given your celibacy the long lab hours might workout fine.

Being a sex weirdo is fine and you can jerk off to all the dead animals you want, please just don't kill anyone irl, tia.

Also being celibate is fine, not having any friends is fine.

You ok buddy?

# ? Sep 26, 2017 23:19

burial: Sep 13, 2002; actually, that won't be necessary.

got any sevens posted:

Life is a banquet and some people are starving

I have no choice but to take that as a "yes."

# ? Sep 27, 2017 01:44

Anne Whateley: Feb 11, 2007; i like nice words

got any sevens posted:

Life is a banquet and some people are starving

I would've gone for La Cage aux Folles rather than Mame, but ok

# ? Sep 27, 2017 02:55

Serjeant Buzfuz: Dec 5, 2009

Solice Kirsk posted:

You ok buddy?

He has nothing but good points.

# ? Sep 27, 2017 03:06

got any sevens: Feb 9, 2013; by Cyrano4747

Anne Whateley posted:

I would've gone for La Cage aux Folles rather than Mame, but ok

I've only seen The Birdcage, sry. I do love it though, Nathan Lane and Robin Williams just kill it

# ? Sep 27, 2017 03:34

christmas boots: Oct 15, 2012; To these sing-alongs 🎤of siren 🧜🏻‍♀️songs
To oohs😮 to ahhs😱 to 👏big👏applause👏
With all of my 😡anger I scream🤬 and shout📢
🇺🇸America🦅, I love you 🥰but you're freaking 💦me 😳out; Biscuit Hider

got any sevens posted:

I've only seen The Birdcage, sry. I do love it though, Nathan Lane and Robin Williams just kill it

Don't forget about Hank Azaria!

# ? Sep 27, 2017 16:30

loquacius: Oct 21, 2008

quote:

I sent in the darknet confession a while back, just got posted now.

You replied " How exactly are you taking a "big risk" by reporting a child porn website? If you ask me it's a bigger risk to not report it."

To be clear: I was talking about hacking the site to reveal the clearnet IP. This would technically be a CFAA violation.

I'm sure I could report the .onion... I'm guessing law enforcement is aware of it, it was listed on a fairly popular site that automatically crawls for .onion sites and puts them in a big list.

(Not going to name it because I'm not even going indirectly say how to get CP, I've seen too many mods in the confession thread)

You should probably still report it. You're a darknet guy, I'm guessing you can figure out how to report the IP anonymously if that's what it takes, right?

quote:

Short and pretty tame confession here. I was on a work trip recently (just overnight) and at the end of the day, colleagues and I were back at someone's room drinking a bit. People leave until it's just me and the room's occupant, a ~50 year old reasonably attractive woman. As soon as it was just the two of us, she started flirting really hard (lots of arm / leg touching) and telling me how hard it is meeting people as a divorced mother of two.

I'm happily married, with a little one at home and another on the way.

I knew what she wanted, and I really did considered going ahead with the sexy times, but in the end I thought it would be a mistake, both for marriage and work reasons, and so I pretended to be oblivious to her intentions and eventually left.

I don't really know what the confession part of this is, except that it was probably a much closer call than it should have been.

I hope you're prepared for a bunch of Internet strangers telling you you hosed up, because I'm reasonably sure that's what's about to happen

# ? Sep 27, 2017 17:02

Danaru: Jun 5, 2012; 何 ??

"I came drat close to cheating but didn't" is a nice palette cleanser :unsmith:

# ? Sep 27, 2017 17:08

Indolent Bastard: Oct 26, 2007; I WON THIS AMAZING AVATAR! I'M A WINNER! WOOOOO!

loquacius posted:

I hope you're prepared for a bunch of Internet strangers telling you you hosed up, because I'm reasonably sure that's what's about to happen

Wrong. He did exactly the correct thing.

# ? Sep 27, 2017 18:13

loquacius: Oct 21, 2008

Indolent Bastard posted:

Wrong. He did exactly the correct thing.

Yeah, I agree, it's just that my personal experiences dealing with the Something Awful forums have led me to believe that goons are more passionate about cougars than they are about monogamy v :v:

v

see also: women who are very tall; women who have very short hair; women who deviate from culturally accepted feminine ideals in some other small way while still being mostly conventionally attractive

# ? Sep 27, 2017 18:18

kalel: Jun 19, 2012

Good job not being infidelit...ious... infidelitizing? infidel-y... good on you for not being an infidel

# ? Sep 27, 2017 18:20

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# ? May 10, 2024 03:43

got any sevens: Feb 9, 2013; by Cyrano4747

Why not cheat? Humans werent monogamous for millennia

# ? Sep 27, 2017 18:24

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > Anonymous Confessions: I had an extremely weird dream that's going to become relevant

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