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burial
Sep 13, 2002

actually, that won't be necessary.

Jastiger posted:

I don't see how that follows. Wouldn't it follow that maybe I HAD and didn't have any disastrous outcomes?

Speculating, again, but wasn't the implication that the only way to avoid the near-inevitable unrequited affection likely resulting from the casual loving of a desperate and/or really into you co-worker is to head it off by being a really unsatisfying lay?

I mean, that could maybe lead to non-disastrous outcomes but it doesn't make you look great. I AM NOT SAYING YOU AREN'T GREAT, I'm just interpreting.

e: Beaten, and without having to use even one 43-word sentence.

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Jastiger
Oct 11, 2008

by FactsAreUseless
I thought the implication was that the act itseld would somehow destroy everything just by it happening, quality of lay not withstanding. That is what i disagree with.

Plus it likely wouldnt matter, if shes desperate, the fact it happened would probably be sufficient and a good time regardless.

facebook jihad
Dec 18, 2007

by R. Guyovich

Jastiger posted:

I thought the implication was that the act itseld would somehow destroy everything just by it happening, quality of lay not withstanding. That is what i disagree with.

Plus it likely wouldnt matter, if shes desperate, the fact it happened would probably be sufficient and a good time regardless.

He was already feeling guilty about his wife though. Imagine how he'd feel if he went through with it

Jastiger
Oct 11, 2008

by FactsAreUseless
Awesome?

He did a good deed for another and had fun doing it

syscall girl
Nov 7, 2009

by FactsAreUseless
Fun Shoe

HerStuddMuffin posted:

Yes, that would be the "and he was so bad at it that the coworker just never brought it up again" part.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4e9s6IN7REM

Danaru
Jun 5, 2012

何 ??
Ah yes, cheating on your wife, often called "a good deed" by normal people who are in no way broken

yeah I eat ass
Mar 14, 2005

only people who enjoy my posting can replace this avatar

Jastiger posted:

Awesome?

He did a good deed for another and had fun doing it

Is this some weird belief you've clung to to get over your own wife cheating on you or what?

facebook jihad
Dec 18, 2007

by R. Guyovich

yeah I eat rear end posted:

Is this some weird belief you've clung to to get over your own wife cheating on you or what?

And she cheated on him while she was visiting the south.

Now it all makes sense.

half coke half diet
Feb 3, 2006
I fight for all those men who have their nuts in a vice grip
Don't cheat on your wife. Just goto /r/milfs and goto town. Porn is OK, cheating is not :)

facebook jihad
Dec 18, 2007

by R. Guyovich
Is it cheating if you pay for it?

Audax
Dec 1, 2005
"LOL U GOT OWNED"
Is it cheating if your dog can't consent

half coke half diet
Feb 3, 2006
I fight for all those men who have their nuts in a vice grip

facebook jihad posted:

Is it cheating if you pay for it?

Nah, if you paying for it it really is just the P in the V you looking for, not the emotional connection that most women see as cheating. Granted cheating is cheating, but paying for it shows at least for the male he values the emotional connection with his wife.

yeah I eat ass
Mar 14, 2005

only people who enjoy my posting can replace this avatar

half coke half diet posted:

Nah, if you paying for it it really is just the P in the V you looking for, not the emotional connection that most women see as cheating. Granted cheating is cheating, but paying for it shows at least for the male he values the emotional connection with his wife.

no i'm pretty sure banging a hooker will still make your wife mad.

HerStuddMuffin
Aug 10, 2014

YOSPOS

Audax posted:

Is it cheating if your dog can't consent
Morally Inept parachute spotted.

HerStuddMuffin
Aug 10, 2014

YOSPOS

yeah I eat rear end posted:

no i'm pretty sure banging a hooker will still make your wife mad.
At least with a hooker you could say "she means nothing to me" and have some credibility. Too bad nobody in the history of the world has ever replied "oh. Well I guess that makes it ok then" upon hearing that sentence.

half coke half diet
Feb 3, 2006
I fight for all those men who have their nuts in a vice grip

yeah I eat rear end posted:

no i'm pretty sure banging a hooker will still make your wife mad.

Of that there is no doubt and make no mistake it is still cheating. The difference between a hooker and a side chick is the emotional connection between the later. Most time that hurts waaaayyyy more than just loving a hot chick for money

Fartbox
Apr 27, 2017
What's happening? Dri fu an only two? what is this?
Is this an avatar? I don't know rm dunk

Just ask your wife if you can bang a whore

facebook jihad
Dec 18, 2007

by R. Guyovich

Fartbox posted:

Just ask your wife if you can bang a whore

Communication is key to a healthy relationship

Solice Kirsk
Jun 1, 2004

.
I think the only logical step is to just open up the relationship. Tried and true results and avoids all the drama of "cheating."

Nocheez
Sep 5, 2000

Can you spare a little cheddar?
Nap Ghost
If you're married for 40 or 50 years and you only slip up once or twice, that's still pretty good. Right?

Jastiger
Oct 11, 2008

by FactsAreUseless
In the grand scheme of things, sexing a cougar and making her happy is a small blip in the moral universe. Bringing that kind of happiness into that womans life means a lot more to her than any "harm" caused by "outrage"

Solice Kirsk
Jun 1, 2004

.
Outrage isn't the problem. The real life consequences (lost job, divorce) is the problem. If you're gonna cheat, don't make it with someone you work with.

Danaru
Jun 5, 2012

何 ??
Please reconsider whether "Cheating on your wife is the moral thing to do" is the hill you want to die on

Solice Kirsk
Jun 1, 2004

.
Jastiger dies on weird hills all the time. He's the Cuthbert Allgood of SA.

loquacius
Oct 21, 2008

Solice Kirsk posted:

Jastiger dies on weird hills all the time. He's the Cuthbert Allgood of SA.

nice

Jastiger
Oct 11, 2008

by FactsAreUseless

Solice Kirsk posted:

Outrage isn't the problem. The real life consequences (lost job, divorce) is the problem. If you're gonna cheat, don't make it with someone you work with.

Why not? It brings more camaraderie to the workplace and builds better bonds. Sex doesn't have to be this weird thing, it can just be something ya'll did one time. NBD.

blarzgh
Apr 14, 2009

SNITCHIN' RANDY
Grimey Drawer
Is this thread full of people who have their troll-detectors turned off or what? Jastiger is clearly doing a bit.

Son of Man
Jan 29, 2003

by Azathoth
.better hope that cougar you pity poked doesn't tell everyone in the office you have to sit down to piss

SENTIENT HOUSEMEAT
Oct 14, 2016

A thinking, breathing house? You're mad!

Jastiger posted:

Why not? It brings more camaraderie to the workplace and builds better bonds. Sex doesn't have to be this weird thing, it can just be something ya'll did one time. NBD.

I take exactly the same view about killing my colleagues' annoying pets. It boosts morale incalculably.

Jastiger
Oct 11, 2008

by FactsAreUseless

Son of Man posted:

.better hope that cougar you pity poked doesn't tell everyone in the office you have to sit down to piss

Lol if you think that makes you LESS desirable.

DandyLion
Jun 24, 2010
disrespectul Deciever

Solice Kirsk posted:

Jastiger dies on weird hills all the time. He's the Cuthbert Allgood of SA.

:golfclap:

loquacius
Oct 21, 2008

quote:

I wore Jnco jeans all through high school and still have to wear them to this day. I have a very oddly shaped body due to a genetic issue and a car accident when I was a kid.

I have a 32” waist but my legs are almost 34” in circumference each at their thickest point.

They don’t make pants to fit me, and it’s either custom work done by a tailor that’s super expensive or wear my old Jncos. They fit me like a pair of “snug” jeans might fit a normal person. I get mocked for it sometimes until I roll up my pants legs and show that my elephant-like limbs.

I have exercised and even had a custom plan designed by the personal trainer of Tom Cruise to try and help me. It didn’t work, my genetics are too hosed and my legs are like two giant hunks of wood - all tough muscle in there and tons of scarring from my accident.

My life is otherwise fine but my legs make it impossible to live a truly normal life.

I know how you feel, I can't keep up with modern pants styles because my balls are simply too large

My wife tried to get me to wear hipster jeans once but one look at how clearly-outlined each of my individual testicles was through the denim was enough to put a stop to that

quote:

Hi, I posted some time ago about being bugged and tearing up my walls and finding evidence of listening devices.

I have since left that apartment and am still being tracked. There is a yellow Beetle which passes by my house once at 8:20 am and again at 5:30 pm. Always within 10-15 minutes of this time. I have made eye contact and believe said driver to be either a Gov’t agent or a multidimensional being (grey).

I found wall lobsters in my new apartment within the first week and realized that I was a target again, since they aren’t usually found above the Mason Dixon line. An agent must have had one cling to him as he left Area 51 or maybe Cape Canaveral; but either way it met Southern CIA agents were in my apartment.

They listen to me through my fillings so I’ve started blaring loud music and sleeping with a retainer in; which seems to help a bit.

They want to harvest my DNA (I think) since I survived several childhood illlnesses including a 110 degree temperature as a college boy. Either for super soldier projects or colonization; unsure which yet. I do know that NASA has child sex pedo rings on Mars so maybe they are abusing a child me.

Could use help goons; phone me please if you have resources or email
Me if you can assist (secure anonymous only!!!). I have enclosed a photo of my night walks so as to prove who I am dealing with.

I mean

you're aware that someone who drives a yellow Beetle and lives in your neighborhood and drives to and from a 9-5 job every day would probably pass by you around that time every day, right

but I don't know what wall lobsters are so I can't comment on that one

Anyway he enclosed a phone and email which are encrypted by some cipher or other, as in they have punctuation in them and the email ends in ".4". I'm still hesitant to post them. Send me a PM if you want them.

e: oh, and there's a picture attachment of some kind of muscular owlman seen through a car windshield (which is obviously how you "walk")

facebook jihad
Dec 18, 2007

by R. Guyovich
Wow these were some weird confessions today

Indolent Bastard
Oct 26, 2007

I WON THIS AMAZING AVATAR! I'M A WINNER! WOOOOO!

loquacius posted:

I know how you feel, I can't keep up with modern pants styles because my balls are simply too large

My wife tried to get me to wear hipster jeans once but one look at how clearly-outlined each of my individual testicles was through the denim was enough to put a stop to that


I mean

you're aware that someone who drives a yellow Beetle and lives in your neighborhood and drives to and from a 9-5 job every day would probably pass by you around that time every day, right

but I don't know what wall lobsters are so I can't comment on that one

Anyway he enclosed a phone and email which are encrypted by some cipher or other, as in they have punctuation in them and the email ends in ".4". I'm still hesitant to post them. Send me a PM if you want them.

e: oh, and there's a picture attachment of some kind of muscular owlman seen through a car windshield (which is obviously how you "walk")

Cockroaches perhaps?

It's all just another day in the life of a TI (targeted individual) Vague "government forces" that want "something" from an absolute nobody. You missed your chance loquacius, this is prime seek therapy territory. Of course they won't, as the therapist is just another tool of the government.

Do you want to feel sad for the mentally ill? Take an hour to see what TIs are putting themselves through. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=62s3FinAoC0

monkeytennis
Apr 26, 2007


Toilet Rascal

Jastiger posted:

Work goon should have sexed the cougar. More happiness in the world is better and no one is hurt.

Dead right, gay as anything, should have smashed her back doors in and wiped his dick on the curtains.

loquacius
Oct 21, 2008

Indolent Bastard posted:

You missed your chance loquacius, this is prime seek therapy territory. Of course they won't, as the therapist is just another tool of the government.

Yeah my conclusion on this one was that if it's real they won't listen to anything I have to say, I just pointed out the thing about how the car is totally normal because I knew somebody else would anyway

quidditch it and quit it
Oct 11, 2012


Wall lobsters are the meth equivalent of cockroaches: bigger, more psychotic, way more noise, and obviously aren't there when you've dug through the wall looking for them.

Jastiger
Oct 11, 2008

by FactsAreUseless

monkeytennis posted:

Dead right, gay as anything, should have smashed her back doors in and wiped his dick on the curtains.

No. Always be respectful. Jesus Christ, show her a good time, don't make it abput you.

facebook jihad
Dec 18, 2007

by R. Guyovich

monkeytennis posted:

Dead right, gay as anything, should have smashed her back doors in and wiped his dick on the curtains.

I'm beginning to think gbs probably isn't a great place to come to for advice

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Solice Kirsk
Jun 1, 2004

.
GBS gives the best advice because it costs $10 to post here so you know you're not talking to just some miscreant off the street without two $5s to rub together.

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