TheAgent posted:

yeah back when I used my dial up to access the fresh amazing smart mans internet, the first thing I totally didn't do was go looking for porn

nah instead of tits I wanted to read the 12th century translation of platos simposium in the original greek, because, you see, we were all so much loving smarter back then

TheAgent posted:

sometimes at night I like to think to myself that there's no real evil in the world, not really

then I remember this man who before he killed a shitload of children and the people trying to help those children, beat a horse to death for not moving fast enough and shot a dog for barking to loud

at that point I kinda just stare up and the ceiling as the insomnia takes hold and eventually get up to go fishing for another drink

Malachite_Dragon posted:

The internet has always been full of stupid people, toops. Go back to bed.

Raskolnikov posted:

double reversed inverted-blog trolled

But seriously, I think people's hurt over a campy TV franchise funny. There's some serious rose colored memories going on when people discuss Star trek.

Malachite_Dragon posted:

I see your quest for mood stabilizers has gone poorly

TheAgent posted:

yeah back when I used my dial up to access the fresh amazing smart mans internet, the first thing I totally didn't do was go looking for porn

nah instead of tits I wanted to read the 12th century translation of platos simposium in the original greek, because, you see, we were all so much loving smarter back then

Viscous Soda posted:

IIRC the first thing I searched for was Game Genie codes, followed by shareware games. Of course, the first access to the internet was on a public computer in my High school's library, so that might have had something to do with the G rated nature of my Altavista searches. Once I got a dial-up connection at home, well...

reverend crabhands posted:

Yeah I spent so much time searching for variants of chess games.

What happened.

Dementropy posted:

Toops posted:

It's mental weakness, don't pity them. Businesses are not evil, they just naturally find the simplest path to profit. It's stupid people who refuse to use their loving brains, begging to be exploited and asking for seconds. They're the problem. Anyone who "believes" that Star Citizen will meet even their lowest of expectations is a loving moron, worthy of scorn. They're almost too pathetic for words, and they're just one variant of a general population ripe for slaughter.

I remember when people used to actually use the internet. It was a subversive speakeasy where you could slip right under the manicured messaging of the powers that be. I remember when people understood it was a tool you had to use to find information, and by god they used it. Now most people just sit there unthinking, waiting for their dopamine drip-feed to drip out the pipe from origins unknown, no time for effort, no interest in questioning the source or the intent, and that utter mental laziness has spread like some weird airborne fungus across entire continents, mustering digital armies of contemptible do-nothing poo poo-bags who sit at their keyboards with no talent and no purpose, signal-boosting the simple marketing blather designed and directed to line the pockets of a handful of monsters who want for nothing.

Star Citizen, and any dumb poo poo who follows them, can go get utterly hosed.

Chin posted:

If only everyone were as smart as Toops and Raskolnikov. Gosh what a paradise that would be.

Wise Learned Man posted:

I remember how bummed I was when the Goon Crusade to reviewbomb SC failed.

Kosumo posted:

Free Bow Tie aswell.

TheAgent posted:

yeah back when I used my dial up to access the fresh amazing smart mans internet, the first thing I totally didn't do was go looking for porn

nah instead of tits I wanted to read the 12th century translation of platos simposium in the original greek, because, you see, we were all so much loving smarter back then

TheAgent posted:

sometimes at night I like to think to myself that there's no real evil in the world, not really

then I remember this man who before he killed a shitload of children and the people trying to help those children, beat a horse to death for not moving fast enough and shot a dog for barking to loud

at that point I kinda just stare up and the ceiling as the insomnia takes hold and eventually get up to go fishing for another drink

The Titanic posted:

Before anybody attacks me, I want to say:

1: Derek is an ok guy. Not the best game developer, and I have no doubt the TECHNOLOGY is there, but his games just aren't fun.
2: His games not being fun has no impact that he is still a successful developer for his niche audience, kudos for this.
3: Comparing UC against SC probably isn't the best thing to do.
a: The technology may be there
b: But the fun is not
c: This probably would be counterproductive to making a comparison

I ironically think that if we could merge Derek with Chris we'd end up with a super pretty version of UC. Nobody seems to know how to add that 'fun' variable to a game, which again is totally fine; it's a niche thing. But it doesn't seem like what SC is now is fun, and UC hasn't been fun for decades and doesn't seem to be making any changes.

But it'd still be fun to merge them, because at least Derek does finish and produce games and doesn't indefinitely scam people out of money. That fact alone makes UC 1000x better than SC.

quote:

CEO: “I want you all to know how much I appreciate the time and effort put into making those doors.”
PR: “To all our fans, you’re going to go crazy over our next reveal #gamedev #doors #nextgen #retweet”
Community Manager: “I let the fans know that their concerns about doors will be addressed in the upcoming patch.”

ComfyPants posted:

"loving goons, banning me for something I didn't do."
"You totally did the thing you were banned for. Let me explain."
"You're a loving goon, you loving goon. loving bullshit that they didn't ban me when I asked but did ban me for this."
"I'm not a goon."
"Oh, sorry, then I guess I did do the thing. It's still loving bullshit, loving goons."

The Titanic posted:

In honor of the accomplishment of Universal Combat, I decided to play Universal Combat.

This is my adventure.

First off, let's do this poo poo.

10/10 Star Citizen has nothing on this

The Titanic posted:

Before anybody attacks me, I want to say:

1: Derek is an ok guy. Not the best game developer, and I have no doubt the TECHNOLOGY is there, but his games just aren't fun.
2: His games not being fun has no impact that he is still a successful developer for his niche audience, kudos for this.
3: Comparing UC against SC probably isn't the best thing to do.
a: The technology may be there
b: But the fun is not
c: This probably would be counterproductive to making a comparison

I ironically think that if we could merge Derek with Chris we'd end up with a super pretty version of UC. Nobody seems to know how to add that 'fun' variable to a game, which again is totally fine; it's a niche thing. But it doesn't seem like what SC is now is fun, and UC hasn't been fun for decades and doesn't seem to be making any changes.

But it'd still be fun to merge them, because at least Derek does finish and produce games and doesn't indefinitely scam people out of money. That fact alone makes UC 1000x better than SC.

D_Smart posted:

OK, I'll bite.

The answer to all your problems:

1. Update your drivers. I played the game for SIX HOURS straight yesterday. LIVE. From start to finish. No crashes. No bugs. And I didn't even cover even 50% of the game btw

2. The game manuals are built into the game and in PDF format for printing. For which shortcuts are created post-install. And they're right there in START/3000AD. If not, there is a KB for that.

>COMMANDS - SHIIFT+H
>MANUAL - ALT+H
>TUTORIAL - CTRL+H

3. When a game tells you there's a tutorial, that usually implies, you know, actually READING it.

4. ALT+Q quits the game, and even gives you a pop-up prompt. But you know, had you even given the commands a cursory glance, you'd know that.

Basically, my rule of thumb for these games is simple. Never send a boy to do a man's job. And especially not a complete moron who would rather push buttons, than read instructions that say exactly what the loving button does.

And that's why people who don't know what a "simulation" is, shouldn't be loving playing them. What do you think this game is? Star Citizen.

duck monster posted:

Derek whats the command combination to get off the toilet in UC?. Star Citizens one either doesnt work or ejects me into space. I need to space poop!

D_Smart posted:

OK, I'll bite.

The answer to all your problems:

1. Update your drivers. I played the game for SIX HOURS straight yesterday. LIVE. From start to finish. No crashes. No bugs. And I didn't even cover even 50% of the game btw

2. The game manuals are built into the game and in PDF format for printing. For which shortcuts are created post-install. And they're right there in START/3000AD. If not, there is a KB for that.

>COMMANDS - SHIIFT+H
>MANUAL - ALT+H
>TUTORIAL - CTRL+H

3. When a game tells you there's a tutorial, that usually implies, you know, actually READING it.

4. ALT+Q quits the game, and even gives you a pop-up prompt. But you know, had you even given the commands a cursory glance, you'd know that.

Basically, my rule of thumb for these games is simple. Never send a boy to do a man's job. And especially not a complete moron who would rather push buttons, than read instructions that say exactly what the loving button does.

And that's why people who don't know what a "simulation" is, shouldn't be loving playing them. What do you think this game is? Star Citizen.

10/10 would teach again