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Not all cousins are close.
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Oct 3, 2017 13:52
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Solice Kirsk posted:Not all cousins are close. I just find it odd that one cousin can know of the other's existence so well as to be able to stalk the other, who is totally unaware of their existence.
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Oct 3, 2017 14:02
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Oh! Yeah, that's because it's made up.
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Oct 3, 2017 14:08
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loquacius posted:
Sorry late to the party, but utilikilts are loving FANTASTIC to curl in.
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Oct 3, 2017 14:30
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Solice Kirsk posted:Oh! Yeah, that's because it's made up. Definitely. The birth certificates would list his name as the father anyways, no way to keep that secret from the kids.
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Oct 3, 2017 14:59
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Plus the whole "our grandparents are brother and sister" thing.
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Oct 3, 2017 15:00
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Nocheez posted:Definitely. The birth certificates would list his name as the father anyways, no way to keep that secret from the kids. I mean, it probably was made up, but kids are lied to about who their parents are all the time Most of the time it's because their mom got teen pregnant and they are raised by her parents, thinking she's their older sister. Hell, it happened to Eric Clapton. It's not hard to keep a kid from seeing their birth certificate until they're "old enough to handle it" whenever that is. Bust Rodd posted:Plus the whole "our grandparents are brother and sister" thing. I think the idea is that they "don't know" who their father is because their heroin-addict mom slept around a lot
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Oct 3, 2017 15:02
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I don't think the cousin one is made up. It's too detailed
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Oct 3, 2017 16:07
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Part of the fun of this is never knowing which of the utterly  confessions are real.
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Oct 3, 2017 16:25
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Well he knew she was destined to hook up with fuckups...
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Oct 3, 2017 16:33
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Lol at Deliverance goon for thinking cousin incest is actual incest
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Oct 3, 2017 17:07
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Osama Dozen-Dongs posted:Lol at Deliverance goon for thinking cousin incest is actual incest Adjacent to incest is incest.
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Oct 3, 2017 17:23
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loquacius posted:I mean, it probably was made up, but kids are lied to about who their parents are all the time Happened to Jack Nicholson too. He only found out when a reporter asked him about it in the early 70s.
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Oct 3, 2017 17:25
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Solice Kirsk posted:Debt goon, I think it's time to turn to a life of crime. Every monetary decision you've made is wrong. Worst case scenario with a life of crime is a free roof over your head and free meals. You forgot "and all the sex you want"
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Oct 3, 2017 18:08
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therattle posted:You forgot "and all the sex you want"  That's the best part of the joke!
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Oct 3, 2017 20:25
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Solice Kirsk posted:
Yeah, you left the rear end end off that.
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Oct 3, 2017 20:28
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Eh, just falls right in line with the rest of my lovely unfunny posts. I'd hate to break precedent.
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Oct 3, 2017 20:59
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I have around 30-35 first cousins (my mother is Irish, one of 13 kids), some of which I've known my entire life and others I've met once or twice and probably wouldn't recognize if I passed on the street. Depending on the size of the family and how interested people are it's certainly not surprising that cousins wouldn't be aware of each other.
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Oct 3, 2017 21:18
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I had a dream about my cousin when I was like 15, she was a very pretty 17 year old, and it wasnt a sex dream but is was vaguely sexual and I remember waking up and just going "whelp that was weird, thank goodness it's just a dream and it's probably my broken puberty brain" and it never happened again but It was like three years before I could talk to her at family stuff while making eye contact. I think sometimes people get their hormones all switched up. There have been a ton of studies about incest, and a prevailing theory is that it's related to Post-Partem depression, i.e. there's normally a wave of hormones designed to block or incite important impulses (like blocking your desire to reproduce when interacting with your parents or siblings. Or caring about your newborn baby even though you just met them). When those hormones for whatever reason aren't present, you can get all kinds of crazy poo poo flaring up as different chemicals make a Hail Mary attempt to balance out your neuro-chemistry and the results are often super hosed up, because your brain is designed with those hormones in mind and their absent is very taxing.
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Oct 3, 2017 21:30
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 Mystery solved, Deliverance goon must be a Canadian.
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Oct 3, 2017 21:57
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I had the weirdest crush on my cousin for like a week when I was 13. I grew out of it really quickly. Figured it was just the hormones in my head loving around.
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Oct 3, 2017 22:08
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Osama Dozen-Dongs posted:
Or another former colony of England. They used the word University instead of College
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Oct 3, 2017 22:10
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When my aunt got married, one of my family members (my grandmother's brother's daughter, I forget exactly what that makes her in relation to me) was asked, "do you know the bride?" And she said "yes, she's my cousin." "Oh, then have you met the groom?" "Yes, he's my cousin." She was a cousin on her father's side; he was on her mother's, so there was no consanguinity. But it was still funny.
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Oct 3, 2017 22:16
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Hey as long as they're third it won't hurt the herd.
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Oct 3, 2017 22:20
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fruit on the bottom posted:Hey as long as they're third it won't hurt the herd. If they closer to 2nd, you get webbed toes.
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Oct 3, 2017 22:26
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half coke half diet posted:If they closer to 2nd, you get webbed toes. Actually, genetic problems tend not to happen unless there's been several generations of immediate family inbreeding, furthermore 
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Oct 3, 2017 22:35
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If you share the same dad the gene pool is bad
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Oct 3, 2017 22:38
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My confession is that I've checked out my second cousin before. In my defense, I only see her once a year at most, and I'm always incredibly horny at all times
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Oct 3, 2017 23:13
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Tax Inductions posted:Actually, genetic problems tend not to happen unless there's been several generations of immediate family inbreeding, furthermore this is where the phrase "walk like an Egyptian" come from
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Oct 3, 2017 23:14
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DivineCoffeeBinge posted:one of my family members (my grandmother's brother's daughter, I forget exactly what that makes her in relation to me)
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Oct 3, 2017 23:57
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Don't gently caress your cousin without a buzzin'
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Oct 4, 2017 00:06
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half coke half diet posted:If they closer to 2nd, you get webbed toes. Proof of the Aquatic Ape Theory?!
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Oct 4, 2017 00:17
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Incoherence posted:I think this is what "first cousin once removed" is supposed to mean, although there are regional variations and it's probably best to leave it under the catchall term of "cousin" anyway. You can use Wolfram Alpha to check. It even shows % blood relationship. 
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Oct 4, 2017 00:23
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When you think about it, arent we all cousins, since we're descended from about 100 early humans
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Oct 4, 2017 00:42
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when i went to get my marriage license there was a sign explicitly detailing the levels of cousin that it wasn't legal to marry posted oon the counter. i would post the pic i took but imgur is being a bitch
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Oct 4, 2017 00:45
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got any sevens posted:When you think about it, arent we all cousins, since we're descended from about 100 early humans
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Oct 4, 2017 01:01
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Incest is more mainstream now
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Oct 4, 2017 01:10
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We Know Catheters posted:Incest is more mainstream now Op was into it before it was cool
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Oct 4, 2017 01:19
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got any sevens posted:When you think about it, arent we all cousins, since we're descended from about 100 early humans All sex is incest. 
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Oct 4, 2017 01:23
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RFC2324 posted:when i went to get my marriage license there was a sign explicitly detailing the levels of cousin that it wasn't legal to marry posted oon the counter. i would post the pic i took but imgur is being a bitch I actually looked this up, and it turns out that first cousins can get married in abut half the states. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cousin_marriage_law_in_the_United_States_by_state
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Oct 4, 2017 01:36
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