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You... you DARE to besmirch the very honour of the cartoon I like?
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Sep 30, 2017 12:45
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| # ? May 10, 2024 15:52 |
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Samizdata posted:If that was true, that was cosmically loving priceless. Yeah, the first time she was wearing my wolvering/daken shirt and the dude was quizzing her "do you know who is on that shirt" "what is his relationship to the other person?" and I walked back and told him to gently caress off. The second time she was wearing my blue lantern shirt and random dude asked her "do you know what lantern you are representing?"
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Oct 2, 2017 02:51
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omnibobb posted:The second time she was wearing my blue lantern shirt and random dude asked her "do you know what lantern you are representing?" That's a misunderstanding, the guy wasn't an rear end in a top hat, he was just forgetful and colorblind.
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Oct 2, 2017 06:38
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Tunicate posted:That's a misunderstanding, the guy wasn't an rear end in a top hat, he was just forgetful and colorblind. Not so much. All the Lantern Corps have a different symbol. If he is going to grognard out so hard, he should know those regardless of color. Just another Gater, it seems.
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Oct 2, 2017 06:54
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Imgur bully stories totally happened, Even if it did happen, how do you lie to your self enough to think that this is a totally cool moment? This has to be fake,
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Oct 2, 2017 09:45
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Dumbass got bamboozled by a cute girl and tried to sabotage her employment as revenge, because I 100% believe that redditors would be so petty as to try and gently caress up somebody's chance at a job over a coupon for free fries. poo poo that didn't happen: "the interviewer thanked me for my contribution to the interview process" sounds like a coded "gently caress off, weirdo" that went right over his head. Also, what kind of employer has interviewees just lined up waiting to be interviewed? Has this guy ever had a real job in his life? The way he describes it I'm picturing somebody at a desk just interviewing one person after another. 
venus de lmao has a new favorite as of 11:09 on Oct 2, 2017 |
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Oct 2, 2017 11:06
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Bertrand Hustle posted:Also, what kind of employer has interviewees just lined up waiting to be interviewed? Has this guy ever had a real job in his life? The way he describes it I'm picturing somebody at a desk just interviewing one person after another. Um, quite a few actually. When I was applying for a job with Orlando Fire Department, there were about 20 or 30 people who made it to the interview portion, and we all sat in a room waiting for our name to be called to go in and interview. This is a weird thing to point out.
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Oct 2, 2017 13:00
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  "oh no she did not"
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Oct 2, 2017 13:14
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I don't smoke, or live in America - how does the value of a single cigarette compare to McDonalds fries?
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Oct 2, 2017 13:14
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uvar posted:I don't smoke, or live in America - how does the value of a single cigarette compare to McDonalds fries? Per pack I'm pretty sure a single cig is less
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Oct 2, 2017 13:32
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Think the fries kill you faster.
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Oct 2, 2017 13:35
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uvar posted:I don't smoke, or live in America - how does the value of a single cigarette compare to McDonalds fries? A single cigarette, or "loosey" if you're in the hood, is $.25
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Oct 2, 2017 13:38
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Sisal Two-Step posted:"oh no she did not" ":)))))" I said.
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Oct 2, 2017 14:19
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Post Your Favorite (or Request): Coldly Compiled Lists › shit_that_didnt_happen.txt: oh no she did not
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Oct 3, 2017 08:06
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Quid posted:Imgur bully stories totally happened, I don't know, this one seems more plausible than others because it's less over-the-top. The full STDH experience would have him tell the hiring manager and the two of them agree to "teach her a lesson." Then the manager would lead her through a humiliating interview while he watched through a tinted window and jerked off. At the end, he'd walk out with a smirk on his face and say "remember me?" and then her face would fall dramatically and he and the manager would high-five. Bertrand Hustle posted:Dumbass got bamboozled by a cute girl and tried to sabotage her employment as revenge, because I 100% believe that redditors would be so petty as to try and gently caress up somebody's chance at a job over a coupon for free fries. I kind of agree with the principle here, though. If someone will cheat or steal in little ways, then they are more likely the type of person to do so in bigger ways.
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Oct 3, 2017 23:53
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"I am a late riser. I like to wake up at 11a.m. or later. But Im also an avid fisherman. Sometimes these two things clash. Like a couple days ago. I was getting our supplies for lunch and that took me to the [local supermarket chain] in a miniscule town 50 miles from home at 7 a.m. while we got another member in my party his fishing license. Im stalking around the isles like a zombie, sipping my coffee and praying for my drat headache to go away. Im wearing black athletic pants, black water shoes, and a raggedy camo longsleeve shirt, my hair is everywhere and I have one hell of a five o clock shadow going on. Despite my appearance, my foul mood, and my headache, Im still trying to be pleasant with everyone. Cause hey, everyone deserves a smile, right? But apparently willingly interacting with someone you don't know automatically means youre an employee. Allow me to introduce Former Trophy Wife. FTW seems like one of those women who is at church every sunday so she can gossip after the service. Im also willing to bet she has "Live Laugh Love" in at least 4 places of her home. She also appeared to have has at least 4 touch ups to her face/breasts/stomach. FTW:Hey you! Me: wha...?(still not all "there") FTW: Find me these! shoves shoping list at me Then I kinda realize whats going on. Me: No. Find an employee. FTW: You are an employee. (she said it slow, like I was an idiot.) Me:(irritated, Ive got only a limited amount of time) Ma'am, kindly gently caress off somewhere over there.(I gesture to the side of the store I'm not going to and begin walking off.) FTW:(shoves her cart in front of me.) EXCUSE ME!? WHAT DID YOU SAY TO ME!? WHERE IS YOUR- I lifted a hand to cut her off. Which works surprisingly well. Me: I said: gently caress. Off. Over. There. Its too damned early to deal with you or anyone elses bullshit. I'm on a schedule, and I wont have you throwing it off. So do us both a favor and gently caress. OFF. OVER. THERE. FTW:(gaping at me) ILL HAVE YOU KNOW MY HUSBAND IS- Me: I don't give a poo poo who your husband is in this backwater ratty rear end town. He can gently caress off with you. And tell him if hes gonna pay for plastic surgery to pay the big bucks cause you're one saggy old bitch. I then proceed to shove her cart out of the way and finish my shopping. But nay, twas not the end of her. Im at the cash register handing my money to the cashier when I hear this ghoulish harpy shriek. FTW: THERE HE IS! I roll my eyes and turn, to see her strutting triumphantly towards me with a manager following. FTW:I WANT HIM FIRED! My poor cashier almost fainted, thinking somehow he had done something wrong. The manager recognizes that it is I the harpy shrieketh for. M: he... He doesn't work here. She whirled on him like a gorgon seeking its next target. FTW: HOW DARE YOU DEFEND HIM!! Me: [on the phone] Uh, yes Im at [local grocery chain] in [backwater town] theres a woman here who is causing quite the ruckus and I'm worried she may become violent... Her face goes white and she falls to the floor sobbing and wailing incoherently. Watching a police officer arrive, begin to escort her out, and eventually have to bring her to the geound when she began to try to run away, made the 45 minutes of fishing I missed so very worth it. TL;DR- former trophy wife gets what she deserved. Edit: if you scroll down in my post history you can see one of the pictures feom that day. "20+browns caught today""
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Oct 4, 2017 12:50
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Why would someone lay on the floor crying and screaming while they wait for probably half an hour+ for the police to get there instead of...just leaving before the police get there? Of course, everything after being mistaken for an employee happened only in his head, but still.
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Oct 4, 2017 13:15
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Also, I, as a real adult human, tell people to screw off multiple times. E. Whoops, I'd read this on Oola and not reddit originally and they replaced gently caress with screw and it sounded even dumber.
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Oct 4, 2017 13:18
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Getting mistaken for an employee is the ultimate power trip fantasy for retail working stiffs. "Heh, she thinks I'm an employee. Time to be as obtuse as possible and instantly escalate the situation while trying to make myself look like the good smart guy barely putting up with these insane rich women who never worked a day in their lives and are also ugly. After all, I can't be fired and there are no other conceivable consequences for my actions."
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Oct 4, 2017 14:14
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The Something Awful Forums > Main > Post Your Favorite (or Request): Coldly Compiled Lists > stdh.txt: it is I the harpy shrieketh for
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Oct 4, 2017 15:03
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Am I just too much of a nice guy for still trying to help people when I get mistaken for an employee (to an extent, obviously, while still explaining I don't work there)? Or are these people just sociopaths waiting to happen? Why do I ask questions I already know the answer to?
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Oct 4, 2017 15:08
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I'm the grocery chain whose uniform is black yoga pants, camo jacket, and rubber boots
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Oct 4, 2017 15:14
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I'm the fact that he repeatedly cuts her off, but for some reason his  witty retorts are never cut off by the hysterical straw woman.
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Oct 4, 2017 15:41
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My experience with the sort of people who angrily demand "Do you work here????" is that when you tell them no, they angrily walk away without a word because how dare you make them look foolish. They tend not to double down and insist you actually do, stop lying. They have at least that much self-awareness. I'm sorry, lady, I was just marveling that this store sells frozen turducken, I wasn't purposely ignoring you. Relax.
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Oct 4, 2017 16:26
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RoboRodent posted:My experience with the sort of people who angrily demand "Do you work here????" is that when you tell them no, they angrily walk away without a word because how dare you make them look foolish. They tend not to double down and insist you actually do, stop lying. They have at least that much self-awareness. I work in retail as a vendor, so in wal-marts I wear a big tag that says "vendor" on it. You'd be surprised how often people double down. "I'm sorry, I don't work here" "THEN WHY ARE YOU WEARING A NAMETAG??" they say, likely not nearly as loudly as I remember it as the memory embellishes things. But that's the end of it. Usually I can just explain that I'm a vendor, and sometimes I have to explain what vendors are if they've never heard of the concept somehow, but I've never had anyone try to get a manager over me or anything, and it's always a weird sub-set of people that get weirdly mad about me not working there, who don't even get to their original question. They usually lead off with "Do you work here" and only try to call me out after I say no. I help anyone who just asks "where's this thing" though if I know the answer. Then there's a third subset of people who think my name is "Vendor" but they are the least common.
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Oct 4, 2017 17:46
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I once mistook a customer for an employee. All that happened was that I was like "lol im an idiot" and we both found it kinda amusing.
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Oct 4, 2017 17:50
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This motherfucker from high school is a hatefollow I just can't quit. He's a dragon-shirt-wearing weeaboo Trumper who spews hilariously bad political takes in between "woe is me no gf" and pictures of big titty anime witches. Needless to say, this did not happen. 
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Oct 4, 2017 23:00
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...where was he keeping it?
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Oct 4, 2017 23:34
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Hecuba posted:This motherfucker from high school is a hatefollow I just can't quit. He's a dragon-shirt-wearing weeaboo Trumper who spews hilariously bad political takes in between "woe is me no gf" and pictures of big titty anime witches. It's called a bat'leth! This qoH can't even get his nerd poo poo right! I know, I know, trap sprung Also the bat'leth seems like an extremely awkward and impractical weapon, I'd take a good old-fashioned longsword or katana as my weeaboo weapon of choice
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Oct 4, 2017 23:34
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Pththya-lyi posted:It's called a bat'leth! This qoH can't even get his nerd poo poo right! Apparently at least one bat'leth was turned in to a knife bin.
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Oct 4, 2017 23:44
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Pththya-lyi posted:Also the bat'leth seems like an extremely awkward and impractical weapon, I'd take a good old-fashioned longsword or katana as my weeaboo weapon of choice
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Oct 5, 2017 02:00
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Haifisch posted:Pfft, like practicality matters to people fantasizing about chasing away the scary BLACK criminal man, yessuh baws, ain't got no pickaninny nohow.
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Oct 5, 2017 03:40
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Hecuba posted:This motherfucker from high school is a hatefollow I just can't quit. He's a dragon-shirt-wearing weeaboo Trumper who spews hilariously bad political takes in between "woe is me no gf" and pictures of big titty anime witches. Dog whistle's so loud my ears are bleeding.
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Oct 5, 2017 04:12
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Haifisch posted:Pfft, like practicality matters to people fantasizing about chasing away the scary criminal man. oh massah pleez don beat these bones with yo batt less (shows whites of eyes and cowers racistly)
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Oct 5, 2017 07:51
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Is it bad that it was a Cockney accent in my mind? Probably because that story of a bat'leth being dropped into a British knife amnesty bin was the first thing to come to mind and it feels like that's the kind of place where someone would try to actually threaten a dude with a bat'leth, and where someone would actually be threatened by a bat'leth.
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Oct 5, 2017 13:20
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chitoryu12 posted:Is it bad that it was a Cockney accent in my mind? Probably because that story of a bat'leth being dropped into a British knife amnesty bin was the first thing to come to mind and it feels like that's the kind of place where someone would try to actually threaten a dude with a bat'leth, and where someone would actually be threatened by a bat'leth. He spelled "behavior" the American way, though, so it's just purestrain homegrown American racism.
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Oct 5, 2017 13:58
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Also the British way of dogwhistling involves using the word bruv a lot
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Oct 5, 2017 14:21
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St Evan Echoes posted:Also the British way of dogwhistling involves using the word bruv a lot What if my dog's name is Bruv?
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Oct 5, 2017 15:18
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Also I don't think "fuk that poo poo dog I'm out" is particularly stereotypical cockney.
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Oct 5, 2017 16:34
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Presumably he is trying to accurately transcribe the (made up) dialogue. I get that he could hear the difference between "gonna" and "going to" and "da" and "the". But why is it sometimes "gently caress" and sometimes "fuk"? Are those pronounced differently?
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Oct 5, 2017 17:08
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