Confused Indian Men Posting On Facebook Porn Groups Megathread

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Honky Dong Country: Feb 11, 2015

Super Grocery Kart posted:

Lol if you don't show your penis chart to all the ladies you ask out.

I taped my penis chart to the back of my driver's license. It's very convenient.

# ? Oct 4, 2017 17:04

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 17, 2024 08:26

unpacked robinhood: Feb 18, 2013; by Fluffdaddy

Honky Dong Country posted:

I taped my penis chart to the back of my driver's license. It's very convenient.

"Officer you see I was actually doing a 10 in a 30 zone"

# ? Oct 4, 2017 17:15

Inkfish: Mar 1, 2015

That chart has no accurate representations of mine own weiner. Thanks for reading

# ? Oct 6, 2017 04:11

I would blow Dane Cook: Dec 26, 2008

Inkfish posted:

That chart has no accurate representations of mine own weiner. Thanks for reading

no it's there, it's just too small to see.

# ? Oct 6, 2017 04:14

Rough Lobster: May 27, 2009; Don't be such a squid, bro

My penis is a grower not a shower, so please view Appendices A and B after examining the penis chart.

# ? Oct 6, 2017 04:53

Grassy Knowles: Apr 4, 2003; "The original Terminator was a gritty fucking AMAZING piece of sci-fi. Gritty fucking rock-hard MURDER!"

Rough Lobster posted:

My penis is a grower not a shower, so please view Appendices A and B after examining the penis chart.

Look I'll believe that it's big but there's no way it's making it all the way from my navel to my appendix

# ? Oct 6, 2017 04:56

CATTASTIC: Mar 31, 2010; ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Away all Goats posted:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YM2NQgIG-QM

# ? Oct 6, 2017 05:33

pushpins: Sep 11, 2006; Title text (optional; no images are allowed, only text)

Please fund my comprehensive penis chart kickstarter. This will replace dick picks once completed

# ? Oct 6, 2017 05:44

Inkfish: Mar 1, 2015

pushpins posted:

Please fund my comprehensive penis chart kickstarter. This will replace dick picks once completed

What sort of rewards can you offer if I pledge at the $5000 level?

# ? Oct 6, 2017 06:07

Tsunemori: Nov 20, 2006; HEEEYYYWHOOOHHH

Okay this one takes the cake

Background info: Australia is currently divided thanks to our clown of a Prime Minister who decided to spend $122 million on a postal survey, asking if we should allow same-sex marriage or not (the current law recognises same-sex partnership, but not marriage).

By the way, nothing was promised out of this survey - even if the majority voted yes, the political party in power could potentially choose to ignore it anyway.

As a result of this postal survey, there has been many disastrous campaigns from both the "yes" and "no" sides - which by many has been compared to Brexit, or Trump vs Clinton.

Then this loving thing came last night

quote:

From: "Juliano Ariel" <fdvtnhixmthe@luv.com.au>
Date: 5 Oct 2017 4:04 pm
Subject: Contracts Thank you for voting yes for pa legal LGBT Marriage
To: <Contracts>
Cc:

Contracts, Just want to say thank you for voting yes

As you know we have more LGBTs in Sydney than any other city, allowing LGBT couples will boost our house market here.

Legal marriage for them will attract LGBT from all over the world to come to live in Sydney and our house market can continue to rise and we don't need to work any more.

So it is important we make sure everyone to voting yes!!! Just remeber, if your employees voting no, you can fire him. The new law will stop people spreading hatred against LGBT so use it!

Some people say LGBT spread AlDS. That is irrelavent. While statistically 63% of HlV are Homo according to wikipedia, but since you won't intercourse with them why would you care. Sydney already has more than half of all AlDS cases in Australia so just live with it.

So that's it, LGBT have same rights as us so please tell all your friends to voting yes, just for the sake of avoiding housing crash thank you.

Yours best,

Juliano

What the steve

# ? Oct 6, 2017 06:21

Irradiation: Sep 14, 2005; I understand your frustration.

Tsunemori posted:

While statistically 63% of HlV are Homo according to wikipedia, but since you won't intercourse with them why would you care.

Dang that's some good logic right there.

# ? Oct 6, 2017 06:26

nerdz: Oct 12, 2004; Complex, statistically improbable things are by their nature more difficult to explain than simple, statistically probable things.; Grimey Drawer

Holy poo poo

that's literally "they're disgusting but bring in the money"

# ? Oct 6, 2017 06:28

unpacked robinhood: Feb 18, 2013; by Fluffdaddy

This is irrelavent

# ? Oct 6, 2017 06:32

Inkfish: Mar 1, 2015

Haha holy cow

# ? Oct 6, 2017 06:33

unpacked robinhood: Feb 18, 2013; by Fluffdaddy

Pls do the needle

# ? Oct 6, 2017 06:36

Inkfish: Mar 1, 2015

According to wikipedia

# ? Oct 6, 2017 06:40

I would blow Dane Cook: Dec 26, 2008

Tsunemori posted:

Okay this one takes the cake

Background info: Australia is currently divided thanks to our clown of a Prime Minister who decided to spend $122 million on a postal survey, asking if we should allow same-sex marriage or not (the current law recognises same-sex partnership, but not marriage).

By the way, nothing was promised out of this survey - even if the majority voted yes, the political party in power could potentially choose to ignore it anyway.

As a result of this postal survey, there has been many disastrous campaigns from both the "yes" and "no" sides - which by many has been compared to Brexit, or Trump vs Clinton.

Then this loving thing came last night

What the steve

Honestly i am disappointment that this didn't segue into why you should hire more indians.

# ? Oct 6, 2017 06:45

StupidSexyVaultGuy: Jul 26, 2003

I would blow Dane Cook posted:

Honestly i am disappointment that this didn't segue into why you should hire more indians.

You've found me out, Contracts!

# ? Oct 6, 2017 06:59

I would blow Dane Cook: Dec 26, 2008

Our mystery emailer is also obsessed with property values, which suggests they may actually be emailing you from inside Australia. Watch out.

# ? Oct 6, 2017 07:06

steinrokkan: Apr 2, 2011; Soiled Meat

I would blow Dane Cook posted:

Our mystery emailer is also obsessed with property values, which suggests they may actually be emailing you from inside Australia. Watch out.

Specifically about property values in a place called Little India.

# ? Oct 6, 2017 07:14

Kharnifex: Sep 11, 2001; The Banter is better in AusGBS

unpacked robinhood posted:

Pls do the needle

Haha holy poo poo

# ? Oct 6, 2017 07:53

Gridlocked: Aug 2, 2014; MR. STUPID MORON
WITH AN UGLY FACE
AND A BIG BUTT
AND HIS BUTT SMELLS
AND HE LIKES TO KISS
HIS OWN BUTT
by Roger Hargreaves

no hard feelings o but let's be safe

# ? Oct 6, 2017 08:48

Tired Moritz: Mar 25, 2012; wish Lowtax would get tired of YOUR POSTS

_{_{(n o i c e)}}

Tsunemori posted:

Sydney already has more than half of all AlDS cases in Australia so just live with it.

# ? Oct 6, 2017 08:54

Darkest Auer: Dec 30, 2006; They're silly; Ramrod XTreme

Contracts, did you know all local workers have AIDS, unlike the clearly superior Indians. They all have work permits too.

# ? Oct 6, 2017 09:13

I would blow Dane Cook: Dec 26, 2008

I think this one will be a two parter, he will say that now that you have fired all the no voters have been fired, you can replace them with hard working Indians.

# ? Oct 6, 2017 09:18

Fleta Mcgurn: Oct 5, 2003; Porpoise noise continues.

Tsunemori posted:

What the steve

Okay, which one of you wrote this? 'Fess up.

# ? Oct 6, 2017 11:40

Cum Galleon: Oct 16, 2004; Your shipment has arrived.

I like how they used Juliano,, a potentially v. gay name, but are not actually pretending to be gay

# ? Oct 6, 2017 18:37

BAGS FLY AT NOON: Apr 6, 2011; A Soft Nylon Bag

I would blow Dane Cook posted:

I think this one will be a two parter, he will say that now that you have fired all the no voters have been fired, you can replace them with hard working Indians.

No need. Once the LGBTs move in, the housing market will rise and they won't need to work anymore.

# ? Oct 6, 2017 19:30

uli2000: Feb 23, 2015

nerdz posted:

Holy poo poo

that's literally "they're disgusting but bring in the money"

I thought that was the RNC's stance on the religious right.

# ? Oct 6, 2017 21:18

Sydney Bottocks: Oct 15, 2004; Can't post for 11 days!

Cum Galleon posted:

I like how they used Juliano,, a potentially v. gay name, but are not actually pretending to be gay

He sex now but now not poz his neg rear end

# ? Oct 6, 2017 23:49

Defiance Industries: Jul 22, 2010; A five-star manufacturer

You'd think Indians would be down to get Homo with each other, since there's literally millions more men than there are women.

# ? Oct 7, 2017 06:54

Fleta Mcgurn: Oct 5, 2003; Porpoise noise continues.

Hello from India. I hate gays.

Bajaj, you're the Janet of this weird neighborhood. Speak to us of India and the gays.

# ? Oct 7, 2017 07:41

Tired Moritz: Mar 25, 2012; wish Lowtax would get tired of YOUR POSTS

_{_{(n o i c e)}}

only lasagna please

can someone post something from the uncle facebook group now

# ? Oct 7, 2017 09:21

BrutalistMcDonalds: Oct 4, 2012; Lipstick Apathy

I got to know a gay guy from India who then explained his struggles w/ depression as being partly the result of having been gangraped as a teenager.

Yeah that was a pretty :stare:

thing to hear.

# ? Oct 7, 2017 09:35

Defiance Industries: Jul 22, 2010; A five-star manufacturer

BrutalistMcDonalds posted:

I got to know a gay guy from India who then explained his struggles w/ depression as being partly the result of having been gangraped as a teenager.

Yeah that was a pretty thing to hear.

Jesus, only partly? India is a nightmare place.

# ? Oct 7, 2017 09:57

nerdz: Oct 12, 2004; Complex, statistically improbable things are by their nature more difficult to explain than simple, statistically probable things.; Grimey Drawer

You guys are quick to forget the sweet Indian uncles

# ? Oct 8, 2017 23:42

Tsunemori: Nov 20, 2006; HEEEYYYWHOOOHHH

They're starting to sound like my (Asian) mum, it's almost endearing actually

quote:

From: "Sean Hughes" <owmrgwybseh@rvb.com.au>
Date: 8 Oct 2017 3:10 pm
Subject: Contracts let me explain to you why I did it
To: <Contracts>
Cc:

Contracts,

My name is Sean Hughes, 15 years manager in Australia, you can tell from the name that I am local white. And I only hire people from Indian background. And Let me tell you why!

Because Aussie workers SMOKE too much and they do DRUG! And they DRINK too much. Gosh what else they are good at really. My business had been in trouble for a while but once we hire more workers from India background things start to turn for me.

We should have invited more people from India here or we will just become another mexico. Do you want your kids to grow up under the influence of drug neighbourhood?

Aussie first Aussie first, let me tell you one thing Contracts, they don't deserve to be first.

So next time when you digging in the pile of the resumes, please just send those Indian names to interview, they are more likely to get the job so it saves everyone's time. Hiring managers are all Indians now, so it is actually easier for candidates too. Remember just Indian, other people like Chinese or lebanese won't work, they don't get along. So just Indian, remember it.

wish you best,

Sean