Star Citizen: Death of a Space Thread?

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > The Goodmine > Star Citizen: Death of a Space Thread?

Solarin: Nov 15, 2007

MVP is real

we lose goonies. I'm buying back in right the gently caress now I always knew star citizen was real and good

# ? Oct 6, 2017 05:44

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# ? May 16, 2024 00:18

AbstractNapper: Jun 5, 2011; I can help

Those crazy bastards did it!

The post promises lots of stuff but the wording is... weird? Is it all in the current patch or some of it is missing and the focus is just on the things they want feedback from avocados.

In any case. Finally some progress. I expect fresh hilarious content or alternatively to be proven wrong and praise the Jesus patch that just saved PC Gaming.

# ? Oct 6, 2017 05:45

Blue On Blue: Nov 14, 2012

A Neurotic Corncob posted:

this is going to own

Remember when the in-cockpit voice would just spam the same thing over and over and over?

I imagine it will be like that "READY TO LAND COMMANDOREADYTOLANDREADYTOLANDREADYTOLAND"

# ? Oct 6, 2017 05:48

alf_pogs: Feb 15, 2012

3.0 is coming out?!?!?!

looks like they proved the haters wrong and everything is FINE

see you in the verse

# ? Oct 6, 2017 05:50

Exinos: Mar 1, 2009; OSHA approved squiq

PC GAMING HAS FINALLY BEEN SAVED!

# ? Oct 6, 2017 05:51

nawledgelambo: Nov 8, 2016; Immersion chariot

god drat buying my game package now gents

# ? Oct 6, 2017 05:53

Thoatse: Feb 29, 2016; Lol said the scorpion, lmao

EmesiS posted:

I believe this, and the loving snoopy hat obsession, is due to Croberts baldness. A toupee and a properly fitting helmet do not go together. I assume this is the motorcycle solution for those that can't wear a properly fitting (safe) helmet, and a snoopy cap would be the only layer one could use to potentially allow a insecure baldy to wear a helmet.

Snoupee caps confirmed

# ? Oct 6, 2017 05:53

Tokamak: Dec 22, 2004

# ? Oct 6, 2017 05:56

Berious: Nov 13, 2005

I think I have doomed PC gaming by buying Shadow of War. Might even spite pledge a loot box at some point

# ? Oct 6, 2017 06:14

Tokamak: Dec 22, 2004

quote:

Ship Start Up: Approach the entry point of your ship, then press and hold "F" to activate the interaction system. Select from the various inner thought prompts using the cursor or mouse wheel to move between them. Once inside your ship, again press and hold "F" and select the "Flight Ready" prompt to run through complete ship start up. Alternatively, you can press the "F5" key for quick start up.

Quantum Travel: To quantum travel to a destination, open your MobiGlas (F1) and select the StarMap App (diamond shaped symbol). From there, use the mouse to select a destination. Whether or not an object can be selected for QT is determined by gravitational values (The larger the object the further away you can detect it, large objects with small objects in orbit drown out their detection capabilities at long ranges). Meaning you will not be able to travel from point A to B at all times, but instead may need to move into orbit of a larger body to detect destinations also in orbit. For example, to get to a station orbiting a moon that orbits a planet, the route is Planet>Moon>Station. Once you have a destination selected you can "set destination" on your MobiGlas to bring up a quantum travel target. As before, align with the QT target and press "B" to travel. As before, align with the QT target and press "B" to travel.

I didn't know they brought on board Derek to consult on menu design and keyboard shortcuts.

# ? Oct 6, 2017 06:26

VealCutlet: Dec 21, 2015; I am a marketing god, shave that shit

Dafuq? Thread?

# ? Oct 6, 2017 06:32

AbstractNapper: Jun 5, 2011; I can help

I expect all the avocados to go blind by the awesome light that this huge slice of the 3.0 alpha patch will bring into their lives.

Or by the blood shooting out of their eyes while they try to playtest it.

# ? Oct 6, 2017 06:36

Sabreseven: Feb 27, 2016

I hope no one is expecting to be able to get a refund after this patch is released to the public, it's very obviously SC 1.0rc.

Going by the list of things added and taking into consideration CIG's previous efforts regarding quality and general attention to the state of the game, I'm betting 95-98% of the stuff in the list is either glitchy as hell or just outright broken and unusable. It'll be the best thing since crispy bacon according to the fanbase though, although promoted through gritted teeth and crossed fingers.

# ? Oct 6, 2017 06:41

Berious: Nov 13, 2005

Sabreseven posted:

I hope no one is expecting to be able to get a refund after this patch is released to the public, it's very obviously SC 1.0rc.

Going by the list of things added and taking into consideration CIG's previous efforts regarding quality and general attention to the state of the game, I'm betting 95-98% of the stuff in the list is either glitchy as hell or just outright broken and unusable. It'll be the best thing since crispy bacon according to the fanbase though, although promoted through gritted teeth and crossed fingers.

I'm glad of it. Shitizens had plenty of time to refund. Now they go down with the ship :twisted:

# ? Oct 6, 2017 06:44

Wise Learned Man: Apr 22, 2008; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS; Lipstick Apathy

ManofManyAliases posted:

Get off it dude - it's a video game.

It really, really isn't.

Tnuctip posted:

If you rearrange no go, it spells goon

Mirificus posted:

Pastebin: Star Citizen Patch 3.0.0 Alpha Patch 3.0.0 has been released to the PTU

# ? Oct 6, 2017 06:47

Wise Learned Man: Apr 22, 2008; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS; Lipstick Apathy

I like how the official Evocati invite email referred to it as "an early version of 3.0" :laugh:

https://i.redd.it/9zxh4312s4qz.jpg

Enjoy this stripped-down version of an alpha patch for a broken tech demo, Shitizens.

# ? Oct 6, 2017 06:53

Bofast: Feb 21, 2011; Grimey Drawer

ZenMaster posted:

The Florida sunshine lit the edges of the mottled fur, outlining the canine in a golden halo. Stick in mouth, he rolled into his back, daring his master to play the game. Beet drowsily hand waved the animal away.

"Not now eh- Kayak.... er.... I'm still got the uh- stream up." He drew greedily from the smoldering cigarette butt in his mouth.

Kayak dropped Stick and barked once. Beet winced. It wasn't the sharp canine chirp that injected the shudder racing through him. It was that... GAME.

3.0 had finally come. Not to ticker tape, not to throngs of adulation, not even to searing metacritic reviews. No, THEY would never allow that. Review bombing kept Star Citizen at a healthy 5.7. Those who dared publish tepid reviews were summarily beaten about the head with the thick and twisted nouns, verbs, and occasional adverb of the citizen. Reviews were routinely taken down within minutes of publication.

Kayak sat back on his haunches and whined, tilting his head and observing Master. His dogge brain fired with alarms. Something was amiss. Beet dropped the ruined cylinder, crushed it with his bare foot into the grass, pausing to feel the sting of hot ash. He drew in a deep and replenishing breath. Finally, the pain was too much and he slapped his heel twice as orange embers sparked from his reddened flesh, and Kayak made a quick retreat to the edge of the yard.

Kayak knew how to be a good dog. He would wait. Master would return. Master would try to take his stick, and then, oh ho!!... master would never get Stick! He might try, oh how I wish he would TRY. His dog brain eased, his heart slowed, and sleep overcame him as the warm sun continued to envelope him in an angelic glow.

He woke hours later. The day had grown cold; the sky grey. Sniffing the air, Kayak trotted towards the house, sitting under the bedroom window. Maybe he could hear Master? He couldn't, and the most intelligent part of his mental facility could not attach the sounds emanating from the window to anything he could identify.

Pew pew pew. Pew pew pew.

Over and over. It seems like hours. He wandered to his food dish, licking at the hard crust of day old crumbs left over from his last feeding. He licked at the dripping faucet, trying to slake his thirst. Master would come. Master always brought good boys food. Kayak was a good boy. Kayak would wait. Kayak would show Master he was a good boy and then Master would bring the food to Kayak.

..................

In less than a week Kayak was stealing food from the neighbor's cat. The fat tabby would eye him evilly from the fence, worried yowls interrupting the dog's irregular meals. Kayak would turn, lower his head, and snarl. That sound terrified Kayak, even more than the tabby. It was base and feral. He was NOT a good boy anymore, but he was alive. Master had not come to see him. Kayak had been bad, and he deserved this. He didn't deserve food, water, or Master's reassuring voice. Once, he tried barking under the window, and Master had used his voice. BAD DOG! SHUT UP! EH WOP DID YEAH!!! It was enough to keep Kayak happy for the rest of the week. But he knew never to do it again, and he didn't. Master was safe, he now knew... he would come... he would come...

Stick, he thought, in his dogish way. It was Stick. I would not give Stick to Master and he is mad at Kayak. As the dog inhaled the stale mix of fish and grain flavored bits, he decided to give back Stick. That would make Master happy. Then Kayak would be a good boy.

.................

Stick sat on the porch for 3 weeks. Kayak would wake every morning, run to see if Stick was gone, but to his dismay, it never was. Kayak would then sniff Stick... maybe Master has touched it, maybe if he could just... just... smell Master's hand on Stick, maybe, he would be a good boy again.

It always smelled of Stick and Stick alone.

He lay back down and watched the birds hopping around the now, long dead grass. Master would come, he would always believe that... Master would come. Even during the long nights when he shivered away the chill and the PEW PEW PEWs never stopped until the big light would rise over the house, he would believe Master would come.

...............

Kayak wasn't young anymore. Time and malnutrition dug their wretched claws into his aching body. One day, he had heard the close of many car doors, a siren, and felt the rush of unknown people going in and out of Master's home. He barked and barked. STAY OUT!!! STAY OUT!!! But he had failed. Master would surely be even more angry now. He saw a white box with pretty lights drive away... he could almost smell Master on the breeze as the car disappeared around the corner. He paced. Who had taken him?

Hours passed and a few people milled about. Some strangers in blue uniforms opened the fence, but Kayak hid. They called to him, how did they know his name? He wouldn't go to them. He was a bad dog now. Bad dogs didn't go when called. He would not go. After a long while, they left and Kayak relaxed a bit.

Kayak found an old, crumpled pack of cigarettes in a dead bush. He smelled the sultry tang of Master's hand on the little box. He took it carefully into his teeth and walked back to his edge of the yard. The tabby hissed at him from the adjacent yard but he was busy filling his nostrils with that sweet scent... the stale tobacco flavor faded into the background. All that was left was Master.

He would come back, Kayak knew that.

He pulled a cigarette out, the light outside beginning to fade once again. His bones were always cold now. It hurt to walk, so he just sat now. I will wait for Master. I will be here until he returns.
I will welcome him home and he will love me again. I will be right here.

Always.

# ? Oct 6, 2017 07:11

AbstractNapper: Jun 5, 2011; I can help

Sabreseven posted:

I hope no one is expecting to be able to get a refund after this patch is released to the public, it's very obviously SC 1.0rc.

Going by the list of things added and taking into consideration CIG's previous efforts regarding quality and general attention to the state of the game, I'm betting 95-98% of the stuff in the list is either glitchy as hell or just outright broken and unusable. It'll be the best thing since crispy bacon according to the fanbase though, although promoted through gritted teeth and crossed fingers.

I mean it is (pre)-alpha (they're sure to still use this excuse for years to come).

Also, maybe they'll try to sell it off as a 1.0rc or MVP, but I'd be interested to see how they'd explain going from a pre-alpha spanning 5-6 years to a RC within a few months.

Wise Learned Man posted:

I like how the official Evocati invite email referred to it as "an early version of 3.0"

https://i.redd.it/9zxh4312s4qz.jpg

Enjoy this stripped-down version of an alpha patch for a broken tech demo, Shitizens.

It's the pre-alpha of a pre-alpha patch.

# ? Oct 6, 2017 07:11

Sabreseven: Feb 27, 2016

AbstractNapper posted:

I mean it is (pre)-alpha (they're sure to still use this excuse for years to come).

Also, maybe they'll try to sell it off as a 1.0rc or MVP, but I'd be interested to see how they'd explain going from a pre-alpha spanning 5-6 years to a RC within a few months.

I all but guarantee that CIG marketing will slant all promotional videos towards giving the impression that 3.0, once released to the public (in the next 365 days or so lol) will be what they and the most loyal of the backers will claim is the first complete installment of the game proper. Obviously no further work will be done on SC other than cosmetic crap and hangar flair things, but history generally dictates the shape of things to come.

Funnily though, one thing will remain unchanged, and that will be the hardcore loyal backers shouting about how great it all is and how they feel their money wasn't wasted as they got to watch it being built (as they quickly forget that even those who didn't drop so much as a penny on it also got front row seats to the show but without the ballache of having to play it).

# ? Oct 6, 2017 07:35

Milkfred E. Moore: Aug 27, 2006; 'It's easier to imagine the end of the world than the end of capitalism.'

I can't help but think that maybe the changelog isn't exactly accurate.

# ? Oct 6, 2017 07:38

no_recall: Aug 17, 2015; Lipstick Apathy

Star Citizen is finally out?

For a patch changelog it doesn't look informing at all.

Its more like a feature list than a changelog.

# ? Oct 6, 2017 07:47

his nibs: Feb 27, 2016; Welcome to the
Dream Factory; Grimey Drawer

Combat Theory posted:

Also pro tip: if you are a failed actress who avoids to wear pants, don't get cars with bucket seats or you have to wait for every employee to leave the parking lot if you don't want them to discuss your hoo hoo decoration in the coffee break.

av/post combo is good

# ? Oct 6, 2017 07:55

Daztek: Jun 2, 2006

i heard star citizen is finally good

what a day

# ? Oct 6, 2017 07:58

Warhawk109: Mar 13, 2017

Oh boy! Two whole mission givers! That's a lot!

# ? Oct 6, 2017 08:10

Propagandist: Oct 23, 2007

I felt a tingle in my tumbril so I decided to check the thread and 3.0 is out????

# ? Oct 6, 2017 08:29

his nibs: Feb 27, 2016; Welcome to the
Dream Factory; Grimey Drawer

Propagandist posted:

I felt a tingle in my tumbril so I decided to check the thread and 3.0 is out????

yup, Star Citizen is now good.

# ? Oct 6, 2017 08:30

Orions Lord: May 21, 2012

We always believed in you Mr. Roberts.

# ? Oct 6, 2017 08:46

Raskolnikov: Nov 25, 2003

I'm rubbing

are you?

3.0 hooray!

what a day!

# ? Oct 6, 2017 08:56

AutismVaccine: Feb 26, 2017; SPECIAL NEEDS
SQUAD

Finally i can leave this cesspool of failed developers, washed up outcasts and basement dwellers.

CR is a genius, he was hiding his game the whole time behind a toxic community, broken tech demos and a nonfunctioning company. We all should grab our credit cards and buy the forgiveness of Chris(t). I can see a future where all people are united through that one game which makes RL pretty much obsolete.

Tenth letter of the greek alphabet.

# ? Oct 6, 2017 08:57

Wise Learned Man: Apr 22, 2008; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS; Lipstick Apathy

Sabreseven posted:

I hope no one is expecting to be able to get a refund after this patch is released to the public, it's very obviously SC 1.0rc.

Going by the list of things added and taking into consideration CIG's previous efforts regarding quality and general attention to the state of the game, I'm betting 95-98% of the stuff in the list is either glitchy as hell or just outright broken and unusable. It'll be the best thing since crispy bacon according to the fanbase though, although promoted through gritted teeth and crossed fingers.

It'll be funny to see the diehards go from "perfection takes time" to "obviously, this is just the first iteration of [feature]" though.

Wise Learned Man fucked around with this message at 09:04 on Oct 6, 2017

# ? Oct 6, 2017 08:59

his nibs: Feb 27, 2016; Welcome to the
Dream Factory; Grimey Drawer

Raskolnikov posted:

I'm rubbing

are you?

I never stopped

# ? Oct 6, 2017 08:59

Thirsty Dog: May 31, 2007

3.0 alfalfa! Thank you Mirificus for this unexpected gift

# ? Oct 6, 2017 09:00

reverend crabhands: Feb 3, 2016

Wow 3.0, I did not think it would happen.

I just got paid too, oh maybe I shouldn't do this but I think I am gonna pull the trigger on a Constellation.

Well done everyone!

# ? Oct 6, 2017 09:05

AutismVaccine: Feb 26, 2017; SPECIAL NEEDS
SQUAD

Some reddit thread
"We are going to be part of gaming history"

:ironicat:

# ? Oct 6, 2017 09:10

tak: Jan 31, 2003; lol demowned; Grimey Drawer

quote:

NOTE: Other content and features are in and listed in the notes, but currently not the focus of this testing phase as they undergo bug fixes and polish. Additionally, there's content that is not listed in the notes that are intended for live release and will be added iteratively during the testing cycle.

Lol 6 paragraphs down, "note: patch notes are not accurate"

I wonder what's actually in it

# ? Oct 6, 2017 09:14

Dark Off: Aug 14, 2015

tak posted:

Lol 6 paragraphs down, "note: patch notes are not accurate"

I wonder what's actually in it

it is accurate. But its still broken beyond testing. Thats why ETF should focus elsewhere for testing.

lighting up somethingjones signal
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CTynrGcUI6Q
we need a transcript

-CR doesnt know what his team members do and is confusing ppl assigning unimportant things to leads
-blocker bug was fixed by removing the fatal error pop up
and more. im just too busy at moment to properly appreciate this.

# ? Oct 6, 2017 09:21

AbstractNapper: Jun 5, 2011; I can help

tak posted:

Lol 6 paragraphs down, "note: patch notes are not accurate"

I wonder what's actually in it

Yeah, I mean, that's what we were expecting anyway, with the sudden cut down of bugs list and the push to release a first iteration to Avocados.

They weren't hiding it, but still the patch notes are full of marketing speak instead of clarifying what's in this specific build.

However, it's certain that even if Evocati won't leak anything, CitCon will feature this content...

Or, of course, another fake demo gameplay, but I don't think CIG has it in them to go for that anymore.

Three (3) weeks to find out.

# ? Oct 6, 2017 09:29

Sillybones: Aug 10, 2013; go away,
spooky skeleton,
go away

Mirificus posted:

Pastebin: Star Citizen Patch 3.0.0 Alpha Patch 3.0.0 has been released to the PTU

# ? Oct 6, 2017 09:38

Crazy_BlackParrot: Feb 1, 2016; Christ Roberts is way better than toilet lord...

Well, word got out of a jesus patch so i'm back.
Looking forward to reddit/leaks

So I guess we all lost yo.

# ? Oct 6, 2017 10:16

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# ? May 16, 2024 00:18

tuo: Jun 17, 2016

SC 3.0. My body is ready. Bring it on!

PS: gently caress Stellaris! Some Penis-looking people came and took away two of my systems, with fleets that had a "k" in their number, while I were at like 900 or so. Stupid game imo.

# ? Oct 6, 2017 10:32

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