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Angrymog
Jan 30, 2012

Really Madcats

HCFJ posted:

The elderly knight is decided as their designated groveler, as he's got the least life left to live and the most manners. He does a great job of flattering the dragon, and it descends from its perch on the obelisk and offers them each a wish, a real one with no monkey paw nonsense.

Thief blurts out "I wish I was back at the bottom of the mountain!"
*poof*
The party huddles for a moment
Battlemage: I wish all our friends were alive again
Illusionist: I wish all our bags were filled with gold
Knight: I wish I could cast all these spells
Shaman: I wish we were all back at the bottom of the mountain

Thief: . . . poo poo

DO we need some context here?

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Preechr
May 19, 2009

Proud member of the Pony-Brony Alliance for Obama as President

Angrymog posted:

DO we need some context here?

The thief wanted to skip the grueling return journey, but was an idiot and wasted his wish, it appears, because the shaman got everyone out, I'm assuming.

Blooming Brilliant
Jul 12, 2010

I'm full of a head cold and feeling like poo poo but gently caress it this recently happened in a 5E campaign me and my friends just wrapped up this weekend.

The Story of Arry Otter

Some background, our campaign had been going on for nearly a year now. It was a continuation of a previous 3.5E campaign we never really concluded a few years prior, with the main thrust of this story being that we were trying to prevent a Mindflayer from ascending himself to Godhood. The Mindflayer by this point was more or less demi-god level, and had torn away a part of the Nine Hells to create his own demi-plane, with the start to our campaign being a (failed) assault on this new realm. In order to stop this Illithid God, we had to fulfill a prophecy which stated that our characters from the last campaign would be the ones to defeat this new god (since the last campaign was us trying to stop the Mindflayer from ascending when he was just a Mindflayer, and well, we never finished the campaign so we didn't stop him :v: )

We had enlisted the aid of one of the previous campaign characters, a Dwarf Wizard turned Lich, and we where onto recruiting the final member, a Dwarf Barbarian and follower of Bahamut who wanted to ascend to Dragonhood. For the Barbarian to do this he would have to slay a NPC from the previous game, a Gold Dragon who was guiding him towards Dragonhood, and was acting as a conduit for all the dragon souls the Barbarian had slain in order to achieve his goal (think Dragonheart, I guess).

So that's background, here's what our current party looked like:

A Human Skald (Bard) from the North, a Chieftain's son who had recently lost his entire clan to Mindflayer Abductors (also recently had to kill two PC's when they kinda went full evil on him). Basically not having the best of times recently.
A Half-Elf Warlock sent by the Mercantile Guilds of Waterdeep (he was one of the killed PC's and the character was more of less fresh into the action).
A Dwarf Rogue (myself) who had become the reluctant head of the Baldur's Gate Assassins' Guild. I sold my soul, so many times, I was basically a poo poo John Constantine.
And we'll get to Arry Otter.

So our most recent objective was to rendezvous with the Barbarian as he went about performing his final ritual/battle with the Gold Dragon to ascend, and it was our goal to ensure that no one interfered with the procedure. We where in Baldur's Gate and the ritual was taking place near the Well of Dragons, basically a graveyard for legendary dragons, and also the home of a pretty sizable cult of Tiamat.

So we make it to the land near the Well of Dragons, and after meeting a Cleric of Bahamut who had been investigating the cult, we found out from him that the cult knew about the upcoming ritual and they where planning to sabotage it. Basically, the cult knew that if the Barbarian ascended he would become a metallic dragon for Bahamut. However, if they could corrupt the souls inside the Gold Dragon before she was slain by the Barbarian, the Barbarian would turn into a chromatic dragon of Tiamat.

We found this out when we raided a cave in the area on the behest of the Cleric, and found it to be some kind of weird corruption research facility, with an imprisoned corrupted Silver/White hybrid dragon that had gone mad. We put the thing out of its misery, destroyed the facility...

And then we found Arry Otter.

See, Arry Otter was a Wizard (this we didn't know until much later), and the new character of our previous Paladin (who was the other PC the Bard had to kill). Arry was locked away in a torture cage in the facility, waiting to be fed to the dragon. He was devoid of any possessions, including clothes. Basically we found a naked old man in a spooky cave. Arry was stingy about telling us anything about him, other than how he was captured by the cult, and was also very insistent about not wearing anything. He was incredibly thankful about his rescue though and started to follow us, much to our confusion and slight concern.

Now with a naked old man following us we proceeded to the ritual site, a massive mound of dragon bones from over the ages. At the summit, the Barbarian was preparing to face off against the Gold Dragon (as a note, the Barbarian basically had shutters on by this point, and was solely focused on facing the Gold Dragon). While at the base of the mound, we saw what we had to stop. A literal army of Tiamat cultists who had began setting camp, and where prepping for their own ritual. The army was there to ensure that if the Barbarian couldn't slay the Gold Dragon, they'd slay her for him, and basically enforce Tiamat ascension upon the Barbarian.

This is when he starting coming up with our plan. There was only one path leading up to the summit, so the Warlock set up an avalanche as a possible back up plan if our main plan failed. Our main plan, was for me and the Bard to teleport into the main command tent of the army, and for the Bard to Mass Suggestion the entire head of command. I was there to assassinate anyone who didn't fall under the Bard's enthrall. Once the remaining command fell under the bard's spell, he would tell them to turn back and return to their base, since they needed to prepare further.

This is also the part, where we noticed that Arry had disappeared. He was no longer following us, and we had no clue where he was.

With our plans set, we helped the Warlock set up his trap, and me and the Bard proceeded with our mission. Surprisingly, this actually went off with no complications. Me and the Bard managed to teleport safely into the main command tent, where all the heads of command where present. One Mass Suggestion, and a bunch of failed saves from the DM, ensured that they all fell under the Bard's spell. He gave the suggestion, and as quickly as we where in there, we teleported out.

From our ambush site, we spied down on the army. We saw that the heads of command where now trying to convince this army of religious fanatics to turn round on the eve of their possibly greatest achievement. This didn't work out for the heads of command too well, as infighting began among the armies numbers, and it seemed like this plan was going to go off without a hitch!

That's when Arry rode up to us on the back of a Skeletal Dragon.

This is also when Arry revealed he was a high level Necromancer, and he wanted to repay us the favor of rescuing him, in addition to getting revenge on his captors. We were collectively speechless, as Arry bid us thanks, and rode off on his Skeletal Dragon, alone, to face an entire army by himself.

Then through a collection of large area-of-effect spells, the aid of a Skeletal Dragon (and then through the course of the fight, freshly risen Cultists), and some quite frankly bullshit lucky dice rolls, Arry managed to rout an entire army by himself.

The three of us just kinda watched on from the ambush site, taking in the fact that our seemingly successful plan had the carpet pulled from under it by a mad naked Necromancer. The last we saw of Arry was him riding off into the sunset on his Skeletal Dragon, never to feature in the campaign again.

Blooming Brilliant fucked around with this message at 15:36 on Oct 9, 2017

Samizdata
May 14, 2007

Blooming Brilliant posted:

I'm full of a head cold and feeling like poo poo but gently caress it this recently happened in a 5E campaign me and my friends just wrapped up this weekend.

The Story of Arry Otter.

Some background, our campaign had been going on for nearly a year now. It was a continuation of a previous 3.5E campaign we never really concluded a few years prior, with the main thrust of this story being that we where trying to prevent a Mindflayer from ascending himself to Godhood. The Mindflayer by this point was more or less demi-god level, and had torn away a part of the Nine Hells to create for himself his own demi-plane, with the start to our campaign being a (failed) assault on this new realm. In order to stop this Illithid God then, we had to fulfill a prophecy which stated that our characters from the last campaign would be the ones to defeat this new god (since the last campaign was us trying to stop the Mindflayer from ascending when he was just a Mindflayer, and well, we never finished the campaign so we didn't stop him :v: )

We had enlisted the aid of one of the previous campaign characters, a Dwarf Wizard turned Lich, and we where onto recruiting the final member, a Dwarf Barbarian and follower of Bahamut who wanted to ascend to Dragonhood. For the Barbarian to do this he would have to slay a NPC from the previous game, a Gold Dragon who was guiding him towards Dragonhood, and was acting as a conduit for all the dragon souls the Barbarian had slain in order to achieve his goal (think Dragonheart, I guess).

So that's background, here's what our current party looked like:

A Human Skald (Bard) from the North, a Chieftain's son who had recently lost his entire clan to Mindflayer Abductors (also recently had to kill two PC's when they kinda went full evil on him). Basically not having the best of times recently.
A Half-Elf Warlock sent by the Mercantile Guilds of Waterdeep (he was one of the killed PC's and the character was more of less fresh into the action).
A Dwarf Rogue (myself) who had become the reluctant head of the Baldur's Gate Assassins' Guild. I sold my soul, so many times, I was basically a poo poo John Constantine.
And we'll get to Arry Otter.

So our most recent objective was to rendezvous with the Barbarian as he went about performing his final ritual/battle with the Gold Dragon to ascend, and it was our goal to ensure that no one interfered with the procedure. We where in Baldur's Gate, and the ritual was taking place near the Well of Dragons, basically a graveyard for legendary dragons, and also the home of a pretty sizable cult of Tiamat.

So we make it to the land near the Well of Dragons, and after meeting a Cleric of Bahamut who had been investigating the cult, we found out from him that the cult knew about the upcoming ritual and they where planning to sabotage it. Basically, the cult knew that if the Barbarian ascended, he would become a metallic dragon for Bahamut. However, if they could corrupt the souls inside the Gold Dragon before she was slain by the Barbarian, the Barbarian would turn into a chromatic dragon of Tiamat.

We found this out when we raided a cave in the area on the behest of the Cleric, and found it to be some kind of weird corruption research facility, with an imprisoned corrupted Silver/White hybrid dragon that had gone mad. We put the thing out of its misery, destroyed the facility.

And then we found Arry Otter.

See, Arry Otter was a Wizard (this we didn't know until much later), and the new character of our previous Paladin (who was the other PC the Bard had to kill). Arry was locked away in a torture cage in the facility, waiting to be fed to the dragon, devoid of any possessions, including clothes. Basically we found a naked old man in a spooky cave. Arry was stingy about telling us anything about him, other than how he was captured by the cult, and was also very insistent about not wearing anything. He was incredibly thankful about his rescue though, and started to follow us, much to our confusion and slight concern.

Now with a naked old man following us we proceeded to the ritual site, a massive mound of dragon bones from over the ages. At the summit, the Barbarian was preparing to face off against the Gold Dragon (as a note, the Barbarian basically had shutters on by this point, and was solely focused on facing the Gold Dragon). While at the base of the mound, we saw what we had to stop. A literal army of Tiamat cultists who had began setting camp, and where prepping for their own ritual. The army was there to ensure that if the Barbarian couldn't slay the Gold Dragon, they'd slay her for him, and basically enforce Tiamat ascension upon the Barbarian.

This is when he starting coming up with our plan. There was only one path leading up to the summit, so the Warlock set up an avalanche as a possible back up plan if our main plan failed. Our main plan, was for me and the Bard to teleport into the main command tent of the army, and for the Bard to Mass Suggestion the entire head of command. I was there to assassinate anyone who didn't fall under the Bard's enthrall. Once the remaining command fell under the bard's spell, he would tell them to turn back and return to their base, since they needed to prepare further.

This is also the part, where we noticed that Arry had disappeared. He was no longer following us, and we had no clue where he was.

With our plans set, we helped the Warlock set up his trap, and me and the Bard proceeded with our mission. Surprisingly, this actually went off with no complications. Me and the Bard managed to teleport safely into the main command tent, where all the heads of command where present. One Mass Suggestion, and a bunch of failed saves from the DM, ensured that they all fell under the Bard's spell. He gave the suggestion, and as quickly as we where in there, we teleported out.

From our ambush site, we spied down on the army. We saw that the heads of command where now trying to convince this army of religious fanatics to turn round on the eve of their possibly greatest achievement. This didn't work out for the heads of command too well, as infighting began among the armies numbers, and it seemed like this plan was going to go off without a hitch!

That's when Arry rode up to us on the back of a Skeletal Dragon.

This is also when Arry revealed he was a high level Necromancer, and he wanted to repay us the favor of rescuing him, in addition to getting revenge on his captors. We were collectively speechless, as Arry bid us thanks, and rode off on his Skeletal Dragon, alone, to face an entire army by himself.

Then through a collection of large area-of-effect spells, the aid of a Skeletal Dragon (and then through the course of the fight, freshly risen Cultists), and some quite frankly bullshit lucky dice rolls, Arry managed to rout an entire army by himself.

The three of us just kinda watched on from the ambush site, taking in the fact that our seemingly successful plan had the carpet pulled from under it by a mad naked Necromancer. The last we saw of Arry was him riding off into the sunset on his Skeletal Dragon, never to feature in the campaign again.

I don't know. If I am going to be riding around on dragon bones, I think I would want some pants. Other than that, great story!

Guildencrantz
May 1, 2012

IM ONE OF THE GOOD ONES

The Changeling posted:

Ugggh I've been wanting to run a space game and a PbtA game for so long, this is perfect. I love this guy's idea, too. Kind of like playing an Avenger of the Raven Queen hunting down undead, necromancers, and the like.

If you want those two things Uncharted Worlds is absolutely perfect. It even manages to have a solid framework for narrative, pbta-structured spaceship battles, in which they actually work and go fast IRL while giving everyone fun stuff to do. The moves are solid and flavorful and the little bits of crunch added on here and there are just enough to give the system some heft without losing its pbtaness. A++ would fire photon torpedoes again.

Yawgmoth
Sep 10, 2003

This post is cursed!
Last night my players continued their favored tactic of "let's solve this problem by making it someone else's" by convincing a thoroughly warped transmuter (who was kidnapping Droaam citizens to experiment on them) to go to Xen'drik. They did this by complimenting his "art" and telling him that he's only stagnating here, there's way more interesting experiments to be had in Xen'drik! :allears: What got him moving was the mention of another person out there who is/could be functionally immortal the same way he is. With him gone, the party got the information and materials they needed to complete a druidic ritual in the forest and get some much needed help to fight the daelkyr lurking in the depths of Sharn.

Harrow
Jun 30, 2012

In the first session of the Fragged Empire game I'm running, the players stole the space ship of a group of pirates who attacked them over a salvage opportunity. They didn't actually kill the main two pirates, a Corp named Theodore and a Legion named Danu--in fact, the group's medic made sure to stabilize Theodore before they left, because she didn't want that death on her conscience.

While I was planning yesterday's session, in which the players were in a trading post looking for a new job, I figured Theodore and Danu, along with their companion, a Kaltoran named Gideon Jinx, would make for some fun recurring rivals. So I built them in. One of the available jobs was a trap set by them for the people who stole their ship. The group hadn't met Gideon before, so a couple of them ran into Gideon at a bar where he offered them a salvage job. A really high Psychology roll let Lala, a Twi-Far wanderer, figure out that Gideon was lying to them about something, and she figured the job was probably a setup.

They were planning to go to the meet anyway until they heard of a new job that they thought would be more interesting, so they never ended up getting ambushed by Gideon, Theodore, and Danu.

That gave me an idea: I think I'm going to try to engineer situations in which Gideon keeps trying to lure them into obvious traps and, I assume, they keep not falling for it. My original idea was a more standard rivals setup, but now I kind of love the idea that Gideon and his crew hate the PCs, and the PCs are going to barely even realize they exist. Months from now, when they finally do cross paths and don't remember them, and Theodore and Danu explain who they are, my players are going to laugh their asses off and it'll all be worth it.

girl dick energy
Sep 30, 2009

You think you have the wherewithal to figure out my puzzle vagina?
That sounds amazing. Plus, if they ever do fall for it, the NPCs' reaction will be priceless in its own way.

"Sure, we'll go."
"Wait, rea- I mean, uh, good."

Splicer
Oct 16, 2006

from hell's heart I cast at thee
🧙🐀🧹🌙🪄🐸

Yawgmoth posted:

Today my players found out the couple they've been selling so many magic items to are a pair of dragons. Specifically, a nickel dragon and a cadmium dragon.

The main draw of their shop is in rechargeable magic items.

:buddy:
A few pages back, but it just occurred to me that they should hire a lycanthrope.

Specifically, a lion.

girl dick energy
Sep 30, 2009

You think you have the wherewithal to figure out my puzzle vagina?

Splicer posted:

A few pages back, but it just occurred to me that they should hire a lycanthrope.

Specifically, a lion.
A werelion? (We're lying?) If it's less obnoxious than that, I just can't figure it out.

Seriously, though, kid should be a lithium dragon.

Cassa
Jan 29, 2009

Harrow posted:

That gave me an idea: I think I'm going to try to engineer situations in which Gideon keeps trying to lure them into obvious traps and, I assume, they keep not falling for it. My original idea was a more standard rivals setup, but now I kind of love the idea that Gideon and his crew hate the PCs, and the PCs are going to barely even realize they exist. Months from now, when they finally do cross paths and don't remember them, and Theodore and Danu explain who they are, my players are going to laugh their asses off and it'll all be worth it.

'For you, it was a Tuesday, but for me it was the most traumatic experience of my life.'

Cthulhu Dreams
Dec 11, 2010

If I pretend to be Cthulhu no one will know I'm a baseball robot.

PMush Perfect posted:

A werelion? (We're lying?) If it's less obnoxious than that, I just can't figure it out.

Seriously, though, kid should be a lithium dragon.

A lithium ion battery is usually abbreviated to 'li-ion'

Aniodia
Feb 23, 2016

Literally who?

Harrow posted:

That gave me an idea: I think I'm going to try to engineer situations in which Gideon keeps trying to lure them into obvious traps and, I assume, they keep not falling for it. My original idea was a more standard rivals setup, but now I kind of love the idea that Gideon and his crew hate the PCs, and the PCs are going to barely even realize they exist. Months from now, when they finally do cross paths and don't remember them, and Theodore and Danu explain who they are, my players are going to laugh their asses off and it'll all be worth it.

A caveat: Don't try and force this to happen. If they end up running into the rivals naturally, and don't have anything better to do, just let it run it's course, and don't bullshit some reason for them to just barely miss each other or whatever.

However, if you can get it so that like, a RL year has gone by and only just then do the PCs realize who they are and what's been going on, all the better.

Harrow
Jun 30, 2012

Aniodia posted:

A caveat: Don't try and force this to happen. If they end up running into the rivals naturally, and don't have anything better to do, just let it run it's course, and don't bullshit some reason for them to just barely miss each other or whatever.

However, if you can get it so that like, a RL year has gone by and only just then do the PCs realize who they are and what's been going on, all the better.

Oh, of course. My plan is just to have Gideon and his crew occasionally plot against them kind of ineffectually and see if the players even notice. Like maybe when they finish the job they're doing now, and another job after that, Gideon and his crew try another setup, or take on a competing job, or something like that. And if the players confront them at one of these junctures, cool--they'll probably still be amused to see those pirates they beat the poo poo out of in the first session.

Best-case scenario the rivalry continues for ages and they eventually have one of those "forced to team up with the enemy" episodes, that kind of thing. But hey, maybe they'll confront Gideon and his crew next time and actually kill them. Who knows? :shrug:

kaffo
Jun 20, 2017

If it's broken, it's probably my fault
Hey there TG goons
While I'm still reading through the 200 pages of stories, I thought I'd share one of my lowest points in the hobby, where I was the problem

First, a little background. I've been running/playing in TTRPGs for 6 years now and I'm always trying to improve where I can
However, this story takes place in my second ever game as a player (I actually started as a DM in 4th ed with my family :smithicide:). I had a bit of confidence from game 1, but was still retarded enough to make every mistake in the book

So let me tell you the tale of Elendor Godender

Dumb Past Kaffo posted:

Back in 2012 I was in a TTRPG at my university gaming society, the guy was running a homebrew system and I was raving about how much fun it was to a bunch of friends online
One of them piped up
“Oh hey, a guy I know is running a homebrew Elder Scrolls TTRPG online soon set in Morrowind. He’s looking for players if you’re interested?”

Hell yeah I was, so I got in touch and signed the gently caress up
Ended up just a party of three of us, we all got together on Roll20 (it was pretty much brand new) and the GM linked us to a text document with character creation instructions
The system was a work in progress, but was basically a direct lift of the Morrowind system with some bits nicked from Oblivion and others reworked slightly to work better for table top

We chatted a little about the party composition, and I jumped on mage as quickly as I could, which left one guy as a straight up brawler and the other as the sneaky archer kinda dude

We were starting off level 1, so we were capable, but hardly war scared veterans
I decided that my dude was gonna be a Dark Elf for that sweet magicka bonus, plus some solid starting skills in magic. I min maxed as hard as I could into destruction and conjuration with the noble goal of summoning myself a full set of daedric armour and setting poo poo on fire
Starting spells were off a table where you could get a number of spells in each category based on your level in the skill. I ended up with fire shield, fireball and conjure dagger

GM asked us about our backstories, so being the “amazing roleplayer” I was I went into depth with Elendor… I’ll tell the short version.
Elendor was a pretty lovely wizard who was 100% convinced he was the greatest wizard who ever lived. He even had his second name legally changed to “Godender” as he was also 100% convinced he could 1v1 a God and actually win. Due to this he’d got kicked out of his home and shipped off to the other side of the country to go set someone else’s poo poo on fire, where he met the party and they hired the “Greatest Wizard” who’d “killed at least 2 Gods” and “was gunning for a third”
The GM even made me roll a speech craft check for this, luckily for me I’d decided the physical attributes were for mere mortals so had thrown all my spare points into personality and passed with flying colours

Unfortunately for the GM this was only the start of my trail of destruction (literally and metaphorically)

The story started with us in Balmora, where we got asked to go to a nearby mining operation and find out why they’d gone quiet over the last week
We discovered, by asking about town, that the operation was going on around a dunmer crypt, and those things were super protected by a. the government b. the locals and c. scary bastard ghosts
Rolling our eyes, we headed out

Arriving at the cave entrance, we found an abandoned camp site. Elendor had no need to investigate so let the sneaky dude do some checks and he concluded the camp had been disturbed as they were mid meal, with a set of footprints leading away from the cave, away around the mountain
The fighter and sneaky dude wanted to follow the footprints to find the miners… Elendor wanted to check out the cave. Totally convinced it was obviously bait, he hand waved the rest of the party saying “you can go that way, I’m going in the cave, cya later”
And that’s how I split the party for the first time. On their side they followed the footprints and found an abandoned smugglers den with a code book inside, if I’m honest I can’t really remember what the plot was there

Elendor on the other hand had way more fun. He entered the cave, walked down a fair bit and found it forked. There was the door to the crypt and a obviously newly built tunnel where the miners had been working. Deciding that mines weren’t worth his time, he went to the crypt
You might be thinking here, what’s Elendor’s motivations? Does he want to save the crypt? Find the miners? Do the quest? Show off? Na, it was none of those things. I just listened to the GM and went whichever way he clearly didn’t want me to go, using game logic to try and weasel around the adventure. I was assuming the logic something like “He wants me to go down the mine, there must be poo poo to fight down there, so I bet the miners are actually in the crypt and there’s just monsters in the mine”. Yes I was that much of a dick, I realise this now

So into the crypt Elendor went. It was a big room full of simple stones to mark graves, nothing too interesting, but there was a door at the end of the room. Elendor waltzed through, and encountered 4 ghosts. It’s here the GM stops and says
“Ok dude, I’m gonna be honest, this encounter was made for the entire party, you might want to get the others”
“Look” I said “Elendor is 100% convinced he can KILL GODS, do you think 4 see through dudes is gonna scare him off?”
I got a sigh in reply, then told not to be sorry if I got killed. I said sure, I’m fine if he dies. Another sigh and we got out the virtual dice to start rolling

Magic users had their magicka as a resource, much like Morrowind. Meaning I either needed to rest or use a potion to recover missing magicka once it drained. Elendor had a fair bit, due to being a Dark Elf, but the fact was he was hard limited during a fight as long as he didn’t have a potion
First I rolled to turn on the fire shield, some kind of deterrent to keep the ghosts from ripping me to shreds, and succeeded. The GM rolled publically, so I could see he wasn’t even trying to save Elendor or anything, but he got some craptastic rolls for the ghosts. A handful of good fireballs later and I managed to take down all 4 and still have about half of my hitpoints left and about quarter of my magicka
Bare in mind during this entire exchange, the rest of the party were basically sitting doing gently caress all
So, a little worse for wear, Elendor pushed forward
“Dude, are you not going to go back and heal?” said the GM in surprise
“Nah, Elendor wants to find out what else is in here and solve the mystery. There’s obviously some spooky ghost bullshit going on from these miners dudes, so Elendor will just murder them all and it’ll be fine”
The GM sighed

Elendor tried to open the door, and ends up taking a bad electric shock from it, further reducing his already dwindling pool of HP. Thinking back now, this was obviously the GM going “DUDE, GO BACK” but nope
“Can I just take the damage and force the door open?”
“What?”
“Can I just grab the handle, grit my teeth through the pain, and open the door?”
“Ugh, fine, roll damage”
And so I did, taking almost nothing and walking through to the next room

This was the last room in the chamber, it was far more ornate than the last, obviously where the nobles/rich dudes got buried. I asked if there was any loot
“Nothing you can see, but there are shelves lining the walls with dozens of urns”
“Awesome, Elendor walks up to the shelf and runs his arm around the entire length, knocking all the urns to the floor trying to break them open”
“WHAT? DUDE… If you break those urns, the ghosts will be INCREDIBLY pissed”
“No problem, Elendor can handle it”
“Ugh, FINE, you knock all the urns to the floor, gems and other odds and ends pour out, and 6 ghosts appear”
“Is my fire shield still on?”
“…Yes it lasts for 5 minutes”
“Great, that’ll hold off the ghosts while I pick up all the gems”
So I lined my robe full of gems, then ran away from the pissed off ghosts
Elendor had to take another damge roll to leave the room through the electric door, which further reduced his HP pool

We cut back to the rest of the party, they are hanging out by the camp site outside waiting, when they see Elendor wander out. He’s bleeding, limping, on fire with shaky hands and his robes are incredibly obviously full of stuff
“Um, what happened?”
“Oh right, so turns out the miners had got greedy and tried to loot the crypt, it made the ghosts super pissed and they musta either been killed or ran away or something. It’s alright though, I dealt with it”
"What do you mean dealt with it?"
"Well I murdered all the ghosts down there. I'm like 100% sure they won't be a problem"
“Um, what’s all that crap in your pockets?”
“This stuff? I always had it, it’s my alchemical ingredients”
GM – “Dude roll for speech craft on this”
Nat 20
GM – “Oh for fucks sake”

I have a bunch more Elendor stories from this if anyone wants to hear more
It features:
Elendor's epic chase scene from the town's guard
Elendor setting an entire bookshop on fire
Elendor beating a man to death with the hilt of a broken dagger
Elendor final quest and why no-one cared

I'm like 95% sure most of this insanity was caused by Roll20's awful random number generator back when it came out. That thing would throw widly high and low numbers all the time and I'm pretty sure it wasn't actually "fair" for ages
Anyway, thanks for reading goonfriends :unsmith:

kaffo fucked around with this message at 10:37 on Oct 12, 2017

Yawgmoth
Sep 10, 2003

This post is cursed!

kaffo posted:

Hey there TG goons
While I'm still reading through the 200 pages of stories, I thought I'd share one of my lowest points in the hobby, where I was the problem

First, a little background. I've been running/playing in TTRPGs for 6 years now and I'm always trying to improve where I can
However, this story takes place in my second ever game as a player (I actually started as a DM in 4th ed with my family :smithicide:). I had a bit of confidence from game 1, but was still retarded enough to make every mistake in the book

So let me tell you the tale of Elendor Godender


I have a bunch more Elendor stories from this if anyone wants to hear more
It features:
Elendor's epic chase scene from the town's guard
Elendor setting an entire bookshop on fire
Elendor beating a man to death with the hilt of a broken dagger
Elendor final quest and why no-one cared

I'm like 95% sure most of this insanity was caused by Roll20's awful random number generator back when it came out. That thing would throw widly high and low numbers all the time and I'm pretty sure it wasn't actually "fair" for ages
Anyway, thanks for reading goonfriends :unsmith:
:justpost: That was hilarious but definitely in a "we'll look back on this and laugh" kinda way. Also reminded me of how absolutely rear end roll20's dicebot is/was, and worse, how long they nakedly lied to everyone about how their bot was perfect and no you're just getting confirmation bias the bot is just fine you're just unlucky is all. I'm still not terribly convinced they have their poo poo sorted out considering how I still get nights where everyone gets crits forever or no one rolls above the median on anything.

Syrian Lannister
Aug 25, 2007

Oh, did I kill him too?
I've been a very busy little man.


Sugartime Jones
Oh please post more.

Samizdata
May 14, 2007

kaffo posted:

I'm like 95% sure most of this insanity was caused by Roll20's awful random number generator back when it came out. That thing would throw widly high and low numbers all the time and I'm pretty sure it wasn't actually "fair" for ages
Anyway, thanks for reading goonfriends :unsmith:

Loved the story. Hate roleplaying systems where magic requires external resources to recharge. Why would anyone do any spell research if you had to keep running down to the corner alchemist twice a day? What happened to the first spell caster, before potions were available? How did the first potion get created and when?

I know it is a fantasy game, but, at some point, SOME sense needs to be made.

Bubblyblubber
Nov 17, 2014
My pathfinder group was investigating a possible hot spot for wild magic, at the behest of the group's mage former teacher. They arrive at the small port town and find the teacher slaughtered in his study, claw and fang marks all around the gore.

Asking around, they discover that these attacks started around three months ago, and had gotten worse in the last couple of weeks. They also get the specifics of the attacks, ask similar: no survivors, weird animal marks, nothing of value touched.

They work up to an abandoned tower on the outskirts of the farmland around town, where they're ambushed by five... somethings. They are animals alright, but not whole ones. Someone has been using the wild magic to stitch together animal parts to make these things, bears with octopuses tentacles and griffin heads, shambling wolf bodies with huge insect legs and proboscises, weird poo poo all around. I just used displacer beast stats and winged the descriptions and occasional special ability.

They are having a tough time beating back the things when the bard remembers that she knows Charm Monster. She manages to charm one of the beasts, a half dog, half giant lobster, lengthwise, that helps them win the day. Since the spell has a limited duration and the things are clearly only held together by magic, it's clear their furry clawed ally is not supposed to last.

But since players are players, they name him Dobster, give him a hat, and now the halfling bard is riding him and the Dwarf warpriest is healing him after combat.

When they find the crazed wizard that's creating the things, they take too long to stop him, and he finishes the ritual that taps into the wild magic ley lines around and starts a sustained reaction. The huge pit with animal body parts starts to spit out monster after monster, and the group scrambles to protect the mage while he rushes around casting a makeshift containment spell around the pit.

As a final gently caress you after being killed, the boss sets an arcane trap on the whole place, set to burn down everybody if the ritual is dispelled. Thinking fast and rolling high, the group's mage manages to tap into the wild magic lines (very verbotten, big no no) and use the trap's energy to end the ritual and save everyone.

As the arcane shockwave travels outward from the pit, the monsters just disassemble, parts dropping to the ground where they stand, much the the relief of our badly injured heroes. Relief that turns to dread when they remember Dobster, watching the action at the edge of the field with his big brown eyes on stalks.

The mage tries his best to figure something out in a split second, and rolls a 20 on his spellcraft check. He tells the bard what is needed, and she agrees instantly. Sacrifice sustains life, even unnatural life such as Dobster's.

Now the halfling hard only has one leg, but she doesn't mind. She has a ride. A weird, supposed to be a throwaway gag, half dog half lobster with goofy stalk eyes, so ugly it's cute ride.

chitoryu12
Apr 24, 2014

Samizdata posted:

Loved the story. Hate roleplaying systems where magic requires external resources to recharge. Why would anyone do any spell research if you had to keep running down to the corner alchemist twice a day? What happened to the first spell caster, before potions were available? How did the first potion get created and when?

I know it is a fantasy game, but, at some point, SOME sense needs to be made.

Since there's natural ingredients that restore tiny bits of magicka just growing all over the drat place, presumably the early magic users would have identified the effects and created potions from them pretty quickly.

girl dick energy
Sep 30, 2009

You think you have the wherewithal to figure out my puzzle vagina?
:3: Dobster.

Good GM for letting them do that, but making them earn it.

Yawgmoth
Sep 10, 2003

This post is cursed!
PCs will latch onto the weirdest things, and I mean that in every possible interpretation. As soon as I saw they named it I knew where the story was ultimately headed.

Robindaybird
Aug 21, 2007

Neat. Sweet. Petite.

And if you introduce anything unusual, prepare for the PCs to steal it.

My GM had an enemy tank in our Mad Max-meets-Fist of the North Star campaign to fight, of course our main driver/jack of all trades and resident gun nut decided to jack it to use to siege a slave camp. GM actually admitted: "I should've expected it, I should have expected you guys would try to steal a tank but it had never occurred to me"

Yawgmoth
Sep 10, 2003

This post is cursed!

Robindaybird posted:

And if you introduce anything unusual, prepare for the PCs to steal it.

My GM had an enemy tank in our Mad Max-meets-Fist of the North Star campaign to fight, of course our main driver/jack of all trades and resident gun nut decided to jack it to use to siege a slave camp. GM actually admitted: "I should've expected it, I should have expected you guys would try to steal a tank but it had never occurred to me"
Reminds me of a different Eberron game I ran a few years ago. PCs were looking to get a boat to sail into the Mournland on the theory they could get deeper into the interior faster with a boat. So they go to the docks and I offhandedly mention that this dock has everything from a simple rowboat all the way up to an elemental galleon moored there. They immediately latch onto the idea of buying the galleon. Mind you, they're like level 6-7 here and this boat has a list price of something like 60,000gp... but man are they ever hyped as gently caress about getting this boat. So the party inquires and finds *clicks NPC generator button* Orin Theli, dwarf blacksmith and handyman who accepted the boat as payment for a load of services rendered. He is having some troubles in the way of paying costs for this thing since he doesn't have a crew so he can't sail it, but he can't seem to find a seller either and so all he does is spend money on mooring it. The players make one hell of a combined Diplomacy check and offer him whatever they dig up in valuables from out of the Mournland in trade for the galleon. They also offer up all of their current liquid funds as a down payment, which was about 6000gp. He agrees on the stipulation he can refund the down payment if they don't bring back enough for him to at least break even.

They decide to hoard everything on this trip, with the Psion having taken the Thrallherd PrC just so he can have followers to act as crew and general labor. They took out a kraken construct and had the crew disassemble it, even took the effort to use attacks that wouldn't dent it up too bad. Anything even remotely magical or potentially sale-worthy got a command to send a team out to haul it back. When they found what they were looking for in an old mine, they went back and had the crew dig out a giant vein of adamantine and haul it up, using some conjured pillars of ice to reinforce the tunnel. And true to their word, they gave it all to Orin, who then opened up his shop again and started selling all the random poo poo they gave him while turning the adamantine into weapons & armor for other adventurers.

They later had a fire elemental bound to the ship so it would be an airship too, then an earth elemental so it could burrow, and an air elemental to provide atmosphere so they could go into space (where the final boss fight occurred).

BallisticClipboard
Feb 18, 2013

Such a good worker!


So I've started playing 13th age with my friends and we had decided to do a day about town because most of our cast wasn't there. This is my favorite encounter.

We're an adventuring guild in the same way that FFTA does it. We have a guild mistress that sends us on quests. I only say this because one of my teammates, Levi, wanted to send our guild mistress a letter and wanted to attach a gift. I suggest pipe cleaner flowers because my teammate can't really be trusted with higher level arts-and-crafts. So we go to the local fantasy construction store and get some pipe cleaners, some felt, some metal shavings (he wanted a glitter analog) and some tissue paper. As we're checking out the shop owner goes (something along the lines of), "Are you making a bomb?". There are no words. "No, we're making some pipe cleaner flowers to send to our boss," I say and the shop keeper seems disappointed. He continues, "It'd be really easy to make this a bomb," and starts describing how to weaponize our arts and crafts projects.

This is obviously a plant right? Some overzealous cops trying to catch some adventures off guard. At-least that's what my character reads in lovely detective novels. He also read this, "Are you a cop? You have to tell me if you're a cop. It's in the rules. If you don't it's entrapment." (By the by, my characters is a well-paid engineer with the Santa Cora Army Corps of Engineers.) The shop owner says that no, he only likes chemistry and I explain that there's a huge difference between interested in chemistry and making a bomb in front of people you don't know.

Levi asks me what's going on and I say, "I think this guys is a cop. If he's a cop he has to tell me he's a cop. It's in the cop rule book. This is entrapment." Levi, who also loves terrorizing our gm joined in, "If you're a cop, it's my understanding that you have to tell us." The shop owner again says that no, he isn't a cop and asks if we're cops and are a plant to target him. I say I'm not a cop and I ask my teammate if he's a cop and that he'd have to tell us or else it's entrapment. Levi then asks me the same. Around the same time, another one of our teammates met up with us (incidentally after buying some semi-illicit drugs) and we ask him if he's a cop. He put an end to the tom foolery by pulling out a piece of paper with the words, "I'm a cop" scrawled on it.

"Cheese it, it's the fuzz." My character shouts and makes a break for it with our supplies and Levi. The shop owner surprisingly also decided to make a break for it and closes up shop early.

In 10 minutes, we've given our GM a migraine and broke some NPCs brain super hard. It was a day well spent.

Guildencrantz
May 1, 2012

IM ONE OF THE GOOD ONES

Yawgmoth posted:

PCs will latch onto the weirdest things, and I mean that in every possible interpretation. As soon as I saw they named it I knew where the story was ultimately headed.

In an old-rear end Dark Heresy campaign I ran, the first session featured an investigation in a Hive City, in a poor run-down area just outside the underhive. One throwaway NPC the players decided to make into an informant was a hobo whom they constantly plied with cheap booze.

He provided some valuable information but was mostly easy comic relief. Nonetheless, they latched on to this one drunk homeless dude and all their reports to their superiors would exaggerate his role and have a note about how this Loyal Imperial Citizen went Above and Beyond, providing Invaluable Assistance to the Inquisition's Most Holy Investigation. They'd constantly give him money and worked whatever influence and clout they managed to achieve less to further themselves and more to pursue their weird pet project of patronage, trying to get this upwardly mobile. In the end they pulled a bunch of strings to push him into a position of figurehead leader of that lovely slum community.

Of course the absurd amount of attention and conspicuous Inquisitorial favors eventually got the poor hapless idiot assassinated to draw them out. Worked like a charm.

BadSamaritan
May 2, 2008

crumb by crumb in this big black forest


Guildencrantz posted:

Loyal Imperial Citizen assassinated

A most valiant NPC death.

Bizarre, unintended PC pet projects and causes always seem to crop up in a campaign and they're one of my favorite things. Hey, as long as the players care about something, I'll take it.

When a rival *finally* smacked the bard's ever-increasingly foppish hat into the mud, you better bet that caused some less-than-wise character and party decisions.

Mr. Maltose
Feb 16, 2011

The Guffless Girlverine
Whenever players divert every resource to a throwaway NPC, killing them can show you that actually the players had way more resources then even they thought which are now bent entirely towards bloody vengeance.

Bubblyblubber
Nov 17, 2014
I even modeled dobster to 3d print him in all his retarded glory.




All hail dobster, he of the sideways shuffle because his lobster legs are longer than his dog legs.

DivineCoffeeBinge
Mar 3, 2011

Spider-Man's Amazing Construction Company

Robindaybird posted:

And if you introduce anything unusual, prepare for the PCs to steal it.

My GM had an enemy tank in our Mad Max-meets-Fist of the North Star campaign to fight, of course our main driver/jack of all trades and resident gun nut decided to jack it to use to siege a slave camp. GM actually admitted: "I should've expected it, I should have expected you guys would try to steal a tank but it had never occurred to me"

Now this just makes me wonder if it's time to repost the Star Wars stories

Spiteski
Aug 27, 2013



DivineCoffeeBinge posted:

Now this just makes me wonder if it's time to repost the Star Wars stories

Yes please.

Also, is that game still going on?

DivineCoffeeBinge
Mar 3, 2011

Spider-Man's Amazing Construction Company

Spiteski posted:

Yes please.

Also, is that game still going on?

Only in theory. It's dead, Jim.

(our GM never lets go, he'll go and start the game up again eventually... just not in the foreseeable future)

Anyway, this is the first post I made in this thread, which recent posts made me think of:

DivineCoffeeBinge posted:

So we're playing Star Wars d20 (with some heavy house-ruling; it's been suggested that we switch to SAGA but the GM is like "gently caress you, I already switched systems once from the old WEG d6 system to this one, I'm not loving around with it again"), and we're approaching the Battle of Endor... only we're not going to be at the Battle of Endor.

Our Rebel group - which has grown from 'several dudes in a freighter' to 'all the Rebel forces in this Rim Worlds Sector complete with bases and shipyards and covert operatives' over the course of several years of gaming - is given a different assignment. In order to buy breathing room for the attack on the second Death Star, we'll be convincing the Empire that we're attacking other targets throughout the galaxy, drawing off resources that could be used to reinforce the Imperial fleet at the Death Star. Our group., specifically, gets to invade Coruscant, the capital world of the Galactic Empire.

(in the words of our GM: "It's possible. You might pull it off. I mean, it's not likely, but you could manage it.")

Anyways, over the last ten months we've become aware that someone is hiding out in our base of operations eavesdropping and whatnot; he's not an Imperial spy, but we can't figure out who the fucker is or what he wants. Finally we uncover a lead on how we might actually track the dude down, so we commence doing so, since operational security is now a much bigger deal than it was before we got our latest suicide mission.

This guy, who I started thinking of as - and thus will name - Michael Westen, was once an ISB agent - an Imperial intel officer. He knew we were Rebels back before anyone else did, because at the time we were an undercover cell instead of a sector-wide insurgency; we decided that the best thing to do, since he'd uncovered our secret, was going to be to ship him off to Alliance Intelligence. This proved difficult, as the dude's two highest skills were Escape Artist and Disguise, so in the end we said "eh, gently caress it" and encased him in carbonite. Break out of that, fucker. Then we had him declared dead.

Anyways, he got interrogated by Rebel Intel, only one of the people interrogating him was a double agent, because Rebel Intel sucks at their job. So when he escaped (because of course he escaped) the double agent told the ISB, who issued a burn notice and disavowed him and put a contract out on his head (because that was less paperwork than reversing the declaration of death, don't you know).

So Westen decides, after several assassination attempts, that none of this would be happening to him if not for us - so he infiltrates our base and sets up a little nest and starts ordering supplies and poo poo with credit cards from one of our front companies. He isn't reporting to the ISB anymore, they want him dead, but he's decided that he wants to see us suffer. He wants to fight, to paraphrase the Princess Bride, to the pain. He's gathering intel, not to report on us, but to wage psychwar - leaving little notes and the like, just to gently caress with us.

The lead we got enabled us to track down his nest, his little hidey-hole, and while he led the rest of the team on a wild goose chase throughout the ship (master of disguise, remember?), I was the only one who did the smart thing; I figured if he stuck his neck out for anything, it'd be something in said nest.

So I sat there and I waited and I made coffee. When he eventually showed up, I offered him a cup. We had a chat while I waited for the combat-types to arrive; it was really quite genial.

Why is this notable? This is a dangling plot thread that had been hinted at by the GM for fourteen months real-time, stemming from a storyline from several years ago.

That's some fuckin' dedication right there.

Falstaff
Apr 27, 2008

I have a kind of alacrity in sinking.

DivineCoffeeBinge posted:

Now this just makes me wonder if it's time to repost the Star Wars stories

I certainly wouldn't complain.

E: Hah, already posted. :)

Samizdata
May 14, 2007

chitoryu12 posted:

Since there's natural ingredients that restore tiny bits of magicka just growing all over the drat place, presumably the early magic users would have identified the effects and created potions from them pretty quickly.

I still think the non-regenerating magic mechanic is lame. I mean, sure, use a potion to regenerate FASTER. That's fine. But I really doubt magic would ever go anywhere if it was a finite resource.

Falstaff
Apr 27, 2008

I have a kind of alacrity in sinking.

Samizdata posted:

I still think the non-regenerating magic mechanic is lame. I mean, sure, use a potion to regenerate FASTER. That's fine. But I really doubt magic would ever go anywhere if it was a finite resource.

I'm a little confused by your objection, in the story in question there are two main ways to regenerate magicka: Potions, and rest. So it wouldn't be a finite resource, people would just have to rest up after they ran out of magic juice. You must have missed it?

kaffo posted:

Magic users had their magicka as a resource, much like Morrowind. Meaning I either needed to rest or use a potion to recover missing magicka once it drained. Elendor had a fair bit, due to being a Dark Elf, but the fact was he was hard limited during a fight as long as he didn’t have a potion

kaffo
Jun 20, 2017

If it's broken, it's probably my fault

Yawgmoth posted:

:justpost: That was hilarious but definitely in a "we'll look back on this and laugh" kinda way. Also reminded me of how absolutely rear end roll20's dicebot is/was, and worse, how long they nakedly lied to everyone about how their bot was perfect and no you're just getting confirmation bias the bot is just fine you're just unlucky is all. I'm still not terribly convinced they have their poo poo sorted out considering how I still get nights where everyone gets crits forever or no one rolls above the median on anything.
Yeah, I think it's better than it used to be, but I honestly don't understand why they don't go implement one of those quantum crystal atomic subspace oscilating do-hickies to get a more truly random number
I'm drat certain their early implementation was like
IMPORT RANDOM
RANDOM.RANDOMNUMBER() * DICENUMBER;

Syrian Lannister posted:

Oh please post more.
I'll write up and post part two Soontm :cool:

Falstaff posted:

I'm a little confused by your objection, in the story in question there are two main ways to regenerate magicka: Potions, and rest. So it wouldn't be a finite resource, people would just have to rest up after they ran out of magic juice. You must have missed it?
Yep, you're right
During battle my options were limited, but as soon as battle was over it only took a few minutes of catching my breath and maybe having a glass of water to get back up
While it wasn't very relevent during this part, you'll find out in Elendor Beats a Guy to Death with the Hilt of a Broken Dagger how this caused problems later in the campaign :v:

Samizdata
May 14, 2007

Falstaff posted:

I'm a little confused by your objection, in the story in question there are two main ways to regenerate magicka: Potions, and rest. So it wouldn't be a finite resource, people would just have to rest up after they ran out of magic juice. You must have missed it?

Yup. I missed it. Sorry. Was having Diablo 1 and crappy homebrew flashbacks.

Lurken
Nov 10, 2012
In my group's previous session of Edge of the Empire, I got my only triumph roll of the entire campaign so far inspecting the body of an alien smuggler to see if he had expired.

We can now say with 100% certainty that he died of the gunshot wounds in his back.

kaffo
Jun 20, 2017

If it's broken, it's probably my fault
I present to you:
Elendor Godender Part 2: The Revenge of the Burning Bookshop

Even More Dumb Kaffo posted:

The party got back to Balmora and reported back to the quest giver. We gave Elendor’s version of the story and, although he was obviously surprised and slightly suspicious, he apparently bought it then told us our next quest guy was in the city of Vivec
The GM asked us what we wanted to do next, the fighter and the sneaky dude wanted to go shopping with their new found reward gold. Elendor wanted to go sell off his stolen goods to the mage’s guild
“Ah, so how are you planning on splitting the money from the gems?”
“What? No, these are mine, Elendor fought tooth and nail for these things. Hell, he basically did the quest himself!”
“Really?”
“Duh, plus these gems might be valuable alchemical ingredients, and those other idiots wouldn’t understand”
The GM sighed

While the other two were away buying armour or drinking until they forgot Elendor existed (both IRL and in game) we focused on Elendor’s visit to the mage’s guild
For those unfamiliar with Morrowind, and Balmora, the mage’s guild is mostly located underground for some reason. With exactly 2 people in the whole building above ground, the rest huddled downstairs in a vast, open basement
Elendor wasn’t part of the guild (they probably wouldn’t want him anyway) but there were some within the guild who’d offer their services to wizards who weren’t members. By asking about, Elendor was introduced to a khajiit who specialised in alchemical ingredients
After some back and forth, it became clear the gems were in fact a mix of lowish soul gems and regular rubies/pearls. All together they would be worth a modest sum, but the khajiit would need some time to appraise them properly before making an offer

The GM then asked me to make a perception roll
I passed and overheard some loud voices from upstairs saying “Have you seen a rogue wizard around these parts?” with Elendor’s description
“Uh oh, um, I’ve gotta run” as Elendor scoops up all the gems
“But wait, I need to appraise….”
“NO TIME, BYE”
Jangling as he ran, Elendor made a break for the stairs back to the surface as two city guards came down
“Hey! That’s the guy! Grab him!” They shouted
“Hey GM, I’ve got an idea”
“There’s two burly guards running at you, what on earth do you plan to do?”
“I’m gonna cast fire shield”
“Oh God”
Then I critted (again). Elendor burst into unrighteous flames and sprinted right at the two guards. They both jumped back just enough for Elendor to leg it up the stairs as they gave chase
As Elendor broke out the front door, the GM asked me where I wanted to go (I knew the layout of Balmora pretty well) and I stupidly said
“I don’t care, the closest door!”
I could hear him chuckle as he described Elendor bursting through the closest door and slamming it behind him. Only to look up as he stood in the middle of an overstocked book shop
The owner started screaming
“WHAT THE HELL DUDE, GET THE HELL OUT MY SHOP, YOU’RE ON FIRE”
I asked to run out the back door and the GM made me roll an acrobatics check to make sure I could navigate the bookshelves
I failed
Stumbling past shelves, Elendor brought dozens of books crashing to the ground, flames spreading to the curtains and books on the floor. The owner was seething, and ran outside to shout for the city guard. Elendor finally picked himself up and managed to kick down the back door, then scuttled to safety

Meeting the party back at the local pub, they asked how it went
“Exhausting. By the way, totally unrelated, I think we should head to Vivic like now. Right now, in fact bring your beer with you”
Elendor grabbed the two of them by the arms and escorted them to the town's stilt strider, purchasing three tickets to Vivic and waving bye bye to Balmora

Next time:
Elendor finds out he's actually not useless without any magicka!

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Syrian Lannister
Aug 25, 2007

Oh, did I kill him too?
I've been a very busy little man.


Sugartime Jones

Bubblyblubber posted:

I even modeled dobster to 3d print him in all his retarded glory.




All hail dobster, he of the sideways shuffle because his lobster legs are longer than his dog legs.

ded :kimchi:


kaffo posted:

I present to you:
Elendor Godender Part 2: The Revenge of the Burning Bookshop


Next time:
Elendor finds out he's actually not useless without any magicka!

Lol amazing.

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