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alnilam posted:^^ good argument against an indecent exposure charge Your honor, I was going to pay a ghost I met online to kick my rear end and we ended up watching Beetlejuice together and one thing lead to another... |
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Oct 6, 2017 21:10
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Here's a good joke i don't think anyone's ever thought of before ever: godzilla vs bambi, where it's just like 15 sec long and a giant godzilla foot just comes down and obliterates bambi |
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Oct 6, 2017 21:18
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alnilam posted:Here's a good joke i don't think anyone's ever thought of before ever: godzilla vs bambi, where it's just like 15 sec long and a giant godzilla foot just comes down and obliterates bambi Then "F'wned" (like Fawn + Pwned) pops up on the screen |
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Oct 6, 2017 21:28
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Macnult posted:photoshop thread where everyone's avatar is super buff Not all of us need this 
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Oct 6, 2017 21:54
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a thread where everybody asks about possible home remedies for embarrassing but common medical problems (eg. hemorrhoids, UTI, penile cyst etc.) "for a friend"
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Oct 7, 2017 00:52
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Chasterson posted:a thread where everybody asks about possible home remedies for embarrassing but common medical problems (eg. hemorrhoids, UTI, penile cyst etc.) "for a friend" cordless drill |
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Oct 7, 2017 00:56
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People posting on a Tumblr-like website about perceived microaggressions that are actually very severe, during the reign of evil alien overlords. |
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Oct 7, 2017 01:18
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Can't even go to the drat grocery store anymore without the xenoarchy shoving its giant plastic tubes down my throat to scan me |
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Oct 7, 2017 01:19
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Papa you can't stop me anymore, I'm going to run away to plumber school!
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Oct 7, 2017 02:03
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got any sevens posted:Papa you can't stop me anymore, I'm going to run away to plumber school! "Son, your uncle Luigi and I broke bricks with our skulls to get you the coins to pay for your med school. Do not follow my path" |
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Oct 7, 2017 02:22
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deep dish peat moss posted:People posting on a Tumblr-like website about perceived microaggressions that are actually very severe, during the reign of evil alien overlords. okay, history lesson, motherfuckers: humans DID have language before Supreme Overlord Gr'yrch, Bless His Undying Name, brought the planet under the divine wings of his glorious reign. we'll never know what it was, because they never invented b'ooks, but ask any human and they'll tell you they at least have grandparents who survived the cleansing century and have heard hushed whispers of it around the night fires in winters past the false notion that humans have no language of their own is a tool used to excuse the continued oppression of our species in jobs and education, and followers of my fanart account know I've faced that very discrimination personally when applying for booth space at fanime |
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Oct 7, 2017 03:10
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look, I'm not one of those crazies that thinks Earth needs to be returned to human control, but |
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Oct 7, 2017 03:14
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[quote="“canyoneer”" post="“477134622”"] “Son, your uncle Luigi and I broke bricks with our skulls to get you the coins to pay for your med school. Do not follow my path” [/quote] Dr Mario, Jr. Entering med school with a chip on his shoulder ---------------- |
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Oct 7, 2017 04:05
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BYOB the late night talk show "Tonight's special guests, new BYOB administrator alnilam, and fresh off of his latest project Crab Adventure 2, forums poster vanisher. Now here he is because he has nothing better to do on a friday night, hey nowwww, Starman!" Well I almost couldn't make it tonight. You know I can't post here without any drugs. So I almost gave up hope when I sat all over my pot. But then I remembered I'd fit right into BYOB with my weed rear end. *audience laughter and applause*
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Oct 7, 2017 05:06
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Starman Super DX posted:BYOB the late night talk show |
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Oct 7, 2017 05:15
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Oops forgot the music https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pc6jqO_o7Yk Now I just need someone to be my Rip Torn
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Oct 7, 2017 05:23
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this is the best joke i ever came up with about 5 years ago. also check out my website. i actually believe that everything is a joke.. Fututor Magnus fucked around with this message at 09:42 on Oct 7, 2017 ---------------- |
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Oct 7, 2017 09:36
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Cubone posted:look, I'm not one of those crazies that thinks Earth needs to be returned to human control, but |
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Oct 7, 2017 13:40
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i'm going to lay you down on a bed of chocolate chips and make semisweet love to you
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Oct 8, 2017 01:41
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FutonForensic posted:i'm going to lay you down on a bed of chocolate chips and make semisweet love to you
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Oct 8, 2017 02:20
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(I took the lazy route out of this but I still think it's funny) You sit alone in the dark at your PC. Your face is alit by a box that appears on screen. Strangely, it has no buttons, only the following truncated text. quote:For twelve years, you have been asking... Also, a soliloquy box is one that appears on your PC when you're away and disappears shortly thereafter.
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Oct 8, 2017 06:09
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do screen savers still exist?
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Oct 8, 2017 06:19
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Educational Occupation Videos, by Dogs for Dogs. Hi, my name is Tesstesstess or Tess for short. I'm here today to talk to you about the duties and responsibilities of an agricultural assistance dog. The first thing I'd like to cover in todays lesson is chicken poop. There are basically two different kinds of chicken poop. The first comes out as a liquid, it's properly referred to as liquid poop. The most important thing to know about liquid poop is that you must be discreet when cleaning it up as it is considered inappropriate to do so in front of your human manager, although they will be equally upset if they find you did not properly clean it up and there is residue left inside vehicles, on your paws, on your muzzle, etc. Second kind of chicken poop is actually also liquid, but encased in a shell. UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES SHOULD YOU BREAK THE SHELL! This shelled poop is considered the primary responsibility of your manager and they will thoroughly remove all shelled poops from about the pen and shelter. Your duty in assisting your manager in this task is to clean up any shelled poops that are broken during the removal process. Important note: take extreme care in cleaning liquid poop directly from chicken, their skin is incredibly fragile and breaking it can lead to repercussions up to and including termination from job.
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Oct 8, 2017 15:28
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A Game Show in Hell run by the Devil called "Wheel of Torture". It's hosted by Pat Sajak and Vanna White who treat it exactly like an everyday mundane episode of Wheel of Fortune, even the set is the same and they're spinning the same big wheel, but the prize is getting tortured. |
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Oct 9, 2017 06:37
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deep dish peat moss posted:A Game Show in Hell run by the Devil called "Wheel of Torture". It's hosted by Pat Sajak and Vanna White who treat it exactly like an everyday mundane episode of Wheel of Fortune, even the set is the same and they're spinning the same big wheel, but the prize is getting tortured. It's hard to believe that article was 12 years ago.
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Oct 9, 2017 15:49
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Wile E Coyote goes on shark tank and pitches various inventions. He repeatedly shakes his head at questions from the sharks and insistently points at his sign with a picture of the Road Runner on it next to a dinner platter.
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Oct 9, 2017 17:20
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A movie where a team of Special OPs people break into CERN, reverse the polarity of it and use it to shift us back into our REAL timeline. What would it be called? https://i.imgur.com/QKTkerO.mp4 |
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Oct 9, 2017 19:04
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Jolo posted:Wile E Coyote goes on shark tank and pitches various inventions. He repeatedly shakes his head at questions from the sharks and insistently points at his sign with a picture of the Road Runner on it next to a dinner platter. nice ---------------- |
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Oct 9, 2017 20:56
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Self-inflicted Disasters Built TNT factory right next to fire factory Built glass mansion and rented it to porn filmers (the weird kind) Bought used car from bank robber Agreed to help friend move (friend is largish whale) Sold my diamond factory for Enron stock in 2015 |
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Oct 10, 2017 00:11
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ShinyBirdTeeth posted:Self-inflicted Disasters
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Oct 10, 2017 00:21
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People in glass houses shouldn’t throw bone(r)s
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Oct 10, 2017 00:47
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In retrospect, I can see some serious flaws in Squealers: The Vegan BBQ, but you have to admit that you weren't very supportive and, yes, I think that played a role. |
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Oct 10, 2017 00:49
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Splatmaster posted:A movie where a team of Special OPs people break into CERN, reverse the polarity of it and use it to shift us back into our REAL timeline. CERNinators 2: Timeline day. (Every day is timeline day.)
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Oct 10, 2017 10:16
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Splatmaster posted:A movie where a team of Special OPs people break into CERN, reverse the polarity of it and use it to shift us back into our REAL timeline. A forum where Special OPs make chill threads and post jokes. What would it be called?
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Oct 10, 2017 10:17
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Time Cops: Presidential Case File: The Stolen Election yeah you read that right, it has a sub-subtitle |
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Oct 10, 2017 16:52
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deep dish peat moss posted:A Game Show in Hell run by the Devil called "Wheel of Torture". It's hosted by Pat Sajak and Vanna White who treat it exactly like an everyday mundane episode of Wheel of Fortune, even the set is the same and they're spinning the same big wheel, but the prize is getting tortured. vaguely recalling the movie Stay Tuned
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Oct 10, 2017 19:20
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alnilam posted:vaguely recalling the movie Stay Tuned |
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Oct 10, 2017 22:11
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I'm an elite hacker. I make my living in the seedy underbelly of the internet, taking what I please. Nothing can stop me once I put my 185WPM fingers to the task. FIREWALL ENCOUNTERED ENTER PASSWORD: Heh. Child's play... PASSWORD: password . . . . . . . ACCESS GRANTED Truly the world has never seen a hacker like me before. |
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Oct 10, 2017 22:20
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AverySpecialfriend posted:I'm an elite hacker. I make my living in the seedy underbelly of the internet, taking what I please. Nothing can stop me once I put my 185WPM fingers to the task. this is painfully true |
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Oct 10, 2017 22:35
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| # ? May 11, 2024 08:01 |
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| I kept wanting to make that thread for a while so maybe I will when I get off work | |
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Oct 10, 2017 22:43
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