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My daughter (5) drew a picture of a monster for school, and dictated a story about it for her mother to write down. All the names are of her classmates. My daughter posted:Once upon a time there was a monster that eats people. It ate Mustafa. It ate Tiberius. And it jumped and then it ate goldfish like we eat goldfish. And sometimes it stomps on buildings. Sometimes it squishes people. And it lives on the Earth all the time. And it ate Munira. It ate trains. It eats a lot of goombas. And it does not eat poison goombas. The beetles with the purple shell are not poisoned and sometimes that monster draws on big pieces of paper. And it lives in a giant house. It's a sunny monster. It grinds up rocks that help it chew up the food inside its body. And sometimes it likes to make a necklace for its mommy. And he likes to smash chairs with his gun. And it gets blowed away by the wind and goes backward sometimes. Sometimes it spins around and gets dizzy. Sometimes it goes side to side in the wind. And sometimes it gets dizzy and then it dies.
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Sep 18, 2017 17:55
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| # ? May 21, 2024 02:30 |
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I love your kid.
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Sep 18, 2017 17:57
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You and me both. 
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Sep 18, 2017 19:29
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I'm guessing your kid also likes dinosaurs (not a particularly unusual thing for kids to like, I know, but the bit about rocks being used to digest food reminded me of fossils of sauropods).
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Sep 18, 2017 19:57
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She's watched every episode of Dino Dan/Dino Dana and enjoys flipping through a 200+ page dinosaur encyclopedia in her spare time. She's chastised me for not recognizing a stygimoloch on sight and got really upset with me when I incorrectly asserted that a dimetrodon was a dinosaur. Back in May I got a strange FB message from my wife. It soon became clear that my daughter was at the helm, letting me know that her dragon plushy Dinko is scared of lightning.   
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Sep 18, 2017 20:51
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Oh god that's too cute
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Sep 18, 2017 21:01
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I hope you picked up Olmec on your way home.
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Sep 18, 2017 21:24
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I am suspicious of anyone who doesn't like dinosaurs.
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Sep 18, 2017 21:25
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Fleta Mcgurn posted:I hope you picked up Olmec on your way home. When I got home I pulled up an old episode of Legends of the Hidden Temple on DailyMotion. It's one of her favorite shows.  Bertrand Hustle posted:I am suspicious of anyone who doesn't like dinosaurs. Kindergarten just started up for my daughter and on day two she came home and said her teacher drew a picture of a dinosaur that was just a Brachiosaurus with the head of a T-Rex, and she was just so distraught that the teacher didn't call on her so she could correct her. I'm not going to lie, I have serious doubts about a teacher who can't even get the basic dinosaurs right.
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Sep 19, 2017 00:04
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My daughter has trouble remembering the names of some folk. For instance, I work with someone named Crystal and my daughter calls her Diamond. At the start of this summer, she was having trouble remembering the name of my sister and called her "That girl that lives with Uncle Peter" for the first half of the summer. This weekend she got upgraded to "My aunt that lives with Uncle Peter"
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Sep 28, 2017 15:29
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omnibobb posted:My daughter has trouble remembering the names of some folk. For instance, I work with someone named Crystal and my daughter calls her Diamond. Which one is the actual blood relative? It'd be great if the sister was but your daughter only remembers her husband.
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Sep 28, 2017 15:48
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Joey Freshwater posted:Which one is the actual blood relative? It'd be great if the sister was but your daughter only remembers her husband. Yeah, sister is the blood relative. edit: oh and they aren't even married, just boyfriend girlfriend who live together.
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Sep 28, 2017 15:53
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I also have an Uncle Peter! ME: "What does 'meat' mean?" TINY CHILD: *bites her own arm*
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Sep 28, 2017 16:58
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omnibobb posted:Yeah, sister is the blood relative. Hah that's even better
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Sep 28, 2017 17:06
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ME: Circle the sight words, please. KID: Yes, sir! ME: I'm a girl! You can't call me sir. KID: Okay...yes, girl sir!  Got me there. ME: Hello, [student]! KID: *holding her Peppa Pig to the camera* Oh, I'm not [student], I am a pig! ME: Oh. Hello, pig. KID: I don't like the wolf. ME: The wolf who blew your house down? KID: YES. He is a BAD BOY!
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Oct 2, 2017 16:18
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a friend of mine when she was 2 years old: - mommy, does "citron" start with a C? - yes! wow yes it does! - does "egg" start with natasha? - :|
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Oct 8, 2017 21:59
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From preschool the other day: "Miss (mania), I'm half day today!" "That's nice, why are you on half day?" "Because I don't like you!"  Turns out the kid had been pulling the same routine on other teachers too that morning.
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Oct 10, 2017 03:35
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Oct 10, 2017 06:50
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Me: Hey buddy, what's with the bending over lately? Kid: I want to toot and the toot won't come out! Me: Oh, well, you shouldn't force the toot. Toots will come out on their own! Kid: (insistent) The toot has to come out now. Me: But if it doesn't want to come out, you might poop in your pants instead. You don't want to poop your pants, do you? Kid: Once you're not a baby anymore, you can't poop your pants. Me: If only... Twenty loving minutes later, the kid learns from personal experience never to force a fart. I had to be all kind and caring with this crying child, having to bite my tongue.
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Oct 11, 2017 00:32
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This is the first time I've EVER heard this at a grocery store: Child: Ooh! CHIPS! I want chips! Parent: We have chips at home, dear. Child: Ok
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Oct 13, 2017 02:42
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I work in retail, and I once witnessed small children throw a temper tantrum until their mother bought them mushrooms, which they proceeded to devour raw from the bag the moment I’d scanned it.
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Oct 13, 2017 05:49
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Kids have the weirdest goddamn palates. When my daughter was 2 she loved to eat pickled ginger. Like, we'd go out to eat and she'd just reach for the pickled ginger from the condiments and devour the stuff.
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Oct 13, 2017 07:27
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U-DO Burger posted:Kids have the weirdest goddamn palates. When my daughter was 2 she loved to eat pickled ginger. Like, we'd go out to eat and she'd just reach for the pickled ginger from the condiments and devour the stuff. Pickled ginger is delicious, I don't see what the problem was there.
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Oct 13, 2017 07:50
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U-DO Burger posted:Kids have the weirdest goddamn palates. When my daughter was 2 she loved to eat pickled ginger. Like, we'd go out to eat and she'd just reach for the pickled ginger from the condiments and devour the stuff. When I was around that age, I loved lemons and those little nondairy creamers. One grandma was mortified and the other found it hilarious.
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Oct 13, 2017 07:52
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My favourite vegetable (after potatoes of course) was always broccoli as a child. I was always happy to eat it. As I got older, I came to realise that most of the foods I hated as a child came down to my grandparent's mostly awful cooking. Turns out roast lamb and steak for example taste great when the person cooking them isn't hell bent on giving them the texture and consistency of old boots.
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Oct 13, 2017 13:06
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I ate lemons, drank soy sauce from the bottle, and hoarded salt packets from restaurants so I could devour them secretly.
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Oct 13, 2017 16:13
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Mustard by the spoonful! No regrets.
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Oct 13, 2017 16:30
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My 4 year old boy(G) talking to me about his day at pre-K: Me: Who did you play with at recess today? G: No one, I mostly hung out with Miss Perez (the recess monitor) Me: Don't you want to play with your friends? G: No....I mostly want to spend my time with women.
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Oct 13, 2017 16:39
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As a kid, I sucked on bouillon cubes the way some people suck on peppermints or Werther's Originals. I thought the individually foil-wrapped cubes were extremely grown-up and glamorous in addition to tasting wonderful. why am I not dead
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Oct 13, 2017 16:47
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Pastry of the Year posted:why am I not dead One of the joys of parenting is watching your kid constantly try to off themselves while you wonder how the hell humanity managed to survive this long
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Oct 13, 2017 17:06
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A high sodium diet isn't necessarily bad for you if you're already healthy, active and drink plenty of fluids. The other day I went to the pet store I get rats for my snakes and someone put their two little kids to work in the feed room. Watching them argue over how to spell medium to write on the box for the rats was cute. They finally settled on midem.
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Oct 13, 2017 17:25
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Pastry of the Year posted:As a kid, I sucked on bouillon cubes the way some people suck on peppermints or Werther's Originals. I thought the individually foil-wrapped cubes were extremely grown-up and glamorous in addition to tasting wonderful. me too, it was like concentrated yumminess in a cube (which, given the likely MSG content, it probably pretty much was)
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Oct 13, 2017 17:40
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Powdered Quik by the spoonful.
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Oct 13, 2017 19:42
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Kevyn posted:Powdered Quik by the spoonful. This, but Ovaltine.
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Oct 13, 2017 21:21
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Fleta Mcgurn posted:This, but Ovaltine. Disgraceful
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Oct 13, 2017 21:21
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oldpainless posted:Disgraceful You ever eaten capers from a jar? IM OLD FLEEEEEET
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Oct 13, 2017 21:29
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When I was at school, they scattered rock salt over the playground to stop it freezing over,
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Oct 13, 2017 21:34
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AlbieQuirky posted:Mustard by the spoonful! No regrets. Kevyn posted:Powdered Quik by the spoonful.  My niece loves avocado to the point where she'll throw a huge fit when she runs out. She's not even 2 yet but drat does she love guacamole.
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Oct 13, 2017 21:45
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My coworker's grandson loved tomatoes. That was always what he'd ask for at the grocery store. She'd get him a bag of those little cherry tomatoes and he'd happily eat them quiet as a lamb.
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Oct 14, 2017 03:40
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| # ? May 21, 2024 02:30 |
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I forget if I posted this here or in another thread. You know how the first few steps of making chocolate chip cookies are mixing together the brown and white sugar with butter? And how you (if you're me, even as an adult) could just stop and eat that right there? When I was 10-12ish, I used to sneak the brown and white sugar and just mix them together straight up dry in a bowl and eat it with a spoon. Not a ton, like it'd be one of those little bowls. But my best friend at the time and I would sneak that together. I also remember sneaking butter pats home, whether in the foil rectangles or in the plastic tiny boats. One time after I ate the butter out of one of the tiny boats, I poured a little coca cola in it and let it sit for a few days. I was afraid my mom would find it and I'd get in trouble (?) so I hid it on top of one of the window frames in my room. When I took it down it was (as you, an adult, expect) speckled with dust. I nonetheless dipped my finger in it and took a single repulsed taste; whatever had evaporated left behind the worst part of the drink, that even the sugar that was still in it could not save. It was a learning experience.
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Oct 14, 2017 23:10
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