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Just don't do a parrot.Tthey might just seem like goofy but controllable birds but under that exterior is a being of malevolence. Actually sounds like a good idea try that.
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Oct 13, 2017 21:03
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Ravens are basically parrots if they weren't really dumb and obnoxious so just get one of those. They're a classic for good reason
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Oct 13, 2017 21:19
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I turned myself into a Lich and that's how I have the power to make all those Da Share Zone memes
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Oct 13, 2017 21:20
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Just took the leap to lichdom a few days ago. Does anyone know how long it will take for my nose to rot off so I can stop smelling my rotting flesh?
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Oct 13, 2017 21:31
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Take an acid bath and just get rid of all your flesh. You don't need it now. And then you'll be a badass skeleton and can start having your minions set gems and carve runes into your bones.
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Oct 13, 2017 21:38
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Make sure your bone binding has set though otherwise you’ll end up a sentient pile of bones in a bathtub and it’s hard to face your minions after they have to re-assemble you on the rack.
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Oct 13, 2017 23:45
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Ravens WILL hoard shiny trinkets like invoking talismans and rings, casting bands and all other kinds of magic jewelry though. First you think "oh how cute he has a little hiding place" but then you realize he took the Orb and it's already too late by that point to save yourself
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Oct 14, 2017 01:24
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/\/\/\ Make sure you properly protect all your orbs. Speleothing posted:Should I get a vulture or a raven? I'm going to invest a lot of mystic power into it, so I probably can't do both. Ravens can be trusted with a degree of autonomy so they can be used for many things such as messages or temporary setback death plans. poverty goat posted:Ravens are basically parrots if they weren't really dumb and obnoxious so just get one of those. They're a classic for good reason Power_of_the_glory posted:Just took the leap to lichdom a few days ago. Does anyone know how long it will take for my nose to rot off so I can stop smelling my rotting flesh? Lol, just lol, if you haven't mastered defiling magic to suck the life out of any nearby thing to rejuvenate you every time you cast a spell. It should go without saying that you should get some kind of thrall gem on some jewelry to protect any ravens, living minions, etc, that you want to keep. The threat of thrall gem backsies can keep kobolds, goblins, and other cowardly minions in line, too, so there's that. Even if you're not an immortal defiler draco-lich, playing mind games with your minions about thrall gem backsies can keep them in line pretty well.
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Oct 14, 2017 01:35
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The best familiars just kinda show up imo There's a bunch of vermin flapping around the skull piles in your peripheral vision and one day you're muttering angrily to yourself "now where DID I put that flesh scribe" Someone hands it to you CROOOOOOOAK and you're like "mm hrr yes thank you" without thinking about it
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Oct 14, 2017 01:39
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I got unlucky and wound up with a lineage of fruitflies as my familiar so I periodically have to leave food in the Million Fly Pit so it may spawn more of itself into being
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Oct 14, 2017 01:47
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The RNG can give you unique, powerful familiars Indeed. I've got a giraffe, myself. Last one on Athas.
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Oct 14, 2017 02:17
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HELLBITCH posted:I got unlucky and wound up with a lineage of fruitflies as my familiar so I periodically have to leave food in the Million Fly Pit so it may spawn more of itself into being fruitflies are huge in genetics research so im sure there's an evil breakthrough here, like fruitflies that can evolve into ravens in 24-36 hours. and then youve got a real loving familiar
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Oct 15, 2017 04:27
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I know a chronomancer who's his own familiar
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Oct 15, 2017 04:55
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I like to put curses on people such as a thousand years of bad spaghetti sauce or a thousand years of having water stuck in your ears for an hour after taking a shower.
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Oct 15, 2017 05:00
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Have Blue posted:I know a chronomancer who's his own familiar That's... that's brilliant. I assume once he summons himself that iteration summons himself and so on until any problem is dealt with by sheer brute forcing it, as long as the proper protective wards are in place?
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Oct 15, 2017 05:00
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You'd be constantly trying to usurp yourself
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Oct 15, 2017 05:04
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CAPT. Rainbowbeard posted:That's... that's brilliant. I assume once he summons himself that iteration summons himself and so on until any problem is dealt with by sheer brute forcing it, as long as the proper protective wards are in place? I'm an evil sorcerer from Cyrodill, and I'm warning you: it's more hassle than it's worth, even when you're doing it with lesser creatures. Sure it starts off nice being able to delegate a cavern entrance to a summoned skeleton guardian who can in turn summon skeleton guardians who summon skeleton warriors, but before long the skeleton warriors learn to ritual summon more skeleton guardians who summon skeleton warriors and eventually your lair is filled with bonebags who demand your agenda be ruled by popular vote and then you're stuck in a corner making creaking noises with your mouth and hiding in barrels because THATS ALL SKELETONS EVER loving WANT TO DO
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Oct 15, 2017 05:11
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CAPT. Rainbowbeard posted:That's... that's brilliant. I assume once he summons himself that iteration summons himself and so on until any problem is dealt with by sheer brute forcing it, as long as the proper protective wards are in place? tried that once, stopped after I got summoned into combat by my future self while on the john
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Oct 15, 2017 06:45
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CAPT. Rainbowbeard posted:That's... that's brilliant. I assume once he summons himself that iteration summons himself and so on until any problem is dealt with by sheer brute forcing it, as long as the proper protective wards are in place? Usually it involves creating a stable time loop that links the beginning and end of the encounter so that he groundhog days his way through and then his various selves collapse back together once its over. Sourcing other versions of yourself from random timelines is faster and easier but then you also end up with: Vlonald Prump posted:tried that once, stopped after I got summoned into combat by my future self while on the john and a much greater risk of paradoxes.
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Oct 15, 2017 07:05
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Well, duh, I said proper protective wards, didn't I? LOL if you don't use the correct protective wards for your reality warping. Just, LOL.
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Oct 15, 2017 07:09
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Paradoxes don't tend to care much about wards. Aether is like tissue paper to a fundamental discontinuity in the state of things. Also do you really wanna risk summoning a version of yourself that never got over his good phase or maybe never even discovered their latent magical talent?
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Oct 15, 2017 07:13
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It doesn't matter, with the correct wards in place all of those things are irrelevant. Simply only draw upon future possible versions of yourself who feel inclined to help whatever the current situation is that also come from futures you possibly, but won't bring to pass because they are stupid dumb futures where you have an eye patch and steampunk robot arm or where the cute red-haired girl breaks your heart so you go all emo and also where future-you won't mind erasing yourself from existence by your actions in the past. Just whitelist those potentialities, and you're "good" so to speak. Keep The Laws. 
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Oct 15, 2017 08:53
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CAPT. Rainbowbeard posted:It doesn't matter, with the correct wards in place all of those things are irrelevant. Great. Now, I've got a version of me who's a cute red-haired emo girl with an eyepatch and a steampunk arm running around. It's really awkward. We work well together when the pressure's on, but we both think the other made some strange and ultimately regrettable life choices. I don't really think my goatee and castle of screaming corpses are quite that weird, but, then, I'm sure I'm biased.
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Oct 15, 2017 09:19
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I hope those screaming corpses only do so at regular intervals. Like a chiming clock. Otherwise, that would drive someone nuts.
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Oct 15, 2017 11:37
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Blurry Gray Thing posted:Great. Now, I've got a version of me who's a cute red-haired emo girl with an eyepatch and a steampunk arm running around. My apprentice is a redhead angsty guy with a steampunk third arm and an inherited castle of screaming corpses, so I'm pretty sure you gently caress up somewhere down the line or at least gently caress
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Oct 15, 2017 11:58
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that still counts as masturbation though so dont cancel your subscription to Double Wizard Monthly just yet
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Oct 15, 2017 12:08
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I'm one of those sissy elemental wizards that isn't nearly as cool as the necro/lich crowd. I drive a gio and dating is a challenge
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Oct 15, 2017 12:26
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How many times do you guys have to deal with sentient spell books attempting to read themselves ? I had to clean up a huge mess in my dungeon the other day because one of them learned how to turn the rats into living bombs.
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Oct 15, 2017 13:30
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Mokbek posted:How many times do you guys have to deal with sentient spell books attempting to read themselves ? Why are you allowing your books to know how to read or even be capable of reading? Pluck out their eyes at once. Blurry Gray Thing posted:Great. Now, I've got a version of me who's a cute red-haired emo girl with an eyepatch and a steampunk arm running around. We you've got a Terminator situation now, haven't you. not my problem im an evil liiiiiiiiiiiiiiich!!!
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Oct 15, 2017 19:26
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Blurry Gray Thing posted:Great. Now, I've got a version of me who's a cute red-haired emo girl with an eyepatch and a steampunk arm running around. sever her other arm SilvergunSuperman posted:I'm one of those sissy elemental wizards that isn't nearly as cool as the necro/lich crowd. Just, stand on some hilltops and summon lightning and laugh maniacally girls love that
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Oct 15, 2017 19:44
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SilvergunSuperman posted:I'm one of those sissy elemental wizards that isn't nearly as cool as the necro/lich crowd. Just kidnap some Paladin's boy/girlfriend and corrupt him/her.
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Oct 15, 2017 20:12
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SilvergunSuperman posted:I'm one of those sissy elemental wizards that isn't nearly as cool as the necro/lich crowd. on the other hand the negative infused elemtals are hard core, well except for Salt, obviously but Dust, Ash and loving Vacuum are cool as heck mate
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Oct 16, 2017 07:54
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i cast find familiar and my familiar was a lamprey that was summoned directly onto one of my nipples. my wizards tower is made of bones all glued together. when im having a bad day where i have done no evil, and sit back and 'think of kansas' to cheer myself up, i think of kansas under sam brownback. i am a lich whose phylactery is a mason jar filled with old, dark, stale piss. i know the spells 'identify', 'magic missiles', 'summon skeleton', 'conjuration: screeching violins', and 'web of lies'. i am prolife
Orkin Mang fucked around with this message at 08:18 on Oct 16, 2017 |
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Oct 16, 2017 08:05
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Oh man, the day of wizard school where we summoned our familliars for the first time, i drank a luck potion before the summons. Unfortunately, my good luck in this matter (got a black drake) came at a huge cost to every one else. We're talking at least six people with earthworm familliars. One kid got a stinkbug lmfao
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Oct 16, 2017 08:46
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That is 100% on your classmates. It’s a zero sum game so if you’re not trying to give yourself an edge you’re going to get clowned at the summoning circle. Besides, any competent wizard should be able to turn an earthworm familiar into something terrifying. All you have to do is expose it to the Elemental Plane of Mutagens and you have a terrifying humanoid worm mass that vomits concentrated lye on command.
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Oct 16, 2017 16:14
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SilvergunSuperman posted:I'm one of those sissy elemental wizards that isn't nearly as cool as the necro/lich crowd. Just gotta double-down on what you're good at. A couple spirits of elemantal fire are gonna clown on literally thousands of skeletons. But you're not going to find immortality going that route.
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Oct 16, 2017 16:34
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I have an orb that contains the souls of everyone in Fargrimdark, but I lost it when a plucky young sidekick knocked it out of my hand with a boomerang and it shattered upon the castle floor and now all those shitheads have their souls back. tfn kid
ninjoatse.cx fucked around with this message at 17:22 on Oct 16, 2017 |
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Oct 16, 2017 17:10
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Speleothing posted:Just gotta double-down on what you're good at. A couple spirits of elemantal fire are gonna clown on literally thousands of skeletons. But you're not going to find immortality going that route.
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Oct 16, 2017 17:24
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The villagers woke me up at the crack of dawn (again) begging me to end the famine, so I sold them some magic beans from the poo poo monks of the plane of farts, cursed with a little side project I'm tentatively naming "wind of kale" Stay away from the village is what I'm saying, unless you're a necro in which case it might be a nice palette cleanser
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Oct 16, 2017 18:34
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Yo you mind if I throw a barrier up and over that village? I got an alchemist friend who needs a whole lot of methane generated by human suffering for a project and this seems like some dope synergy.
secular woods sex fucked around with this message at 20:01 on Oct 16, 2017 |
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Oct 16, 2017 19:53
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