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christmas boots
Oct 15, 2012

To these sing-alongs 🎤of siren 🧜🏻‍♀️songs
To oohs😮 to ahhs😱 to 👏big👏applause👏
With all of my 😡anger I scream🤬 and shout📢
🇺🇸America🦅, I love you 🥰but you're freaking 💦me 😳out
Biscuit Hider

CharlestheHammer posted:

You can say whatever you want, doesn't make it true.

People aren’t racist because they don’t want to gently caress you

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Mirthless
Mar 27, 2011

by the sex ghost

fruit on the bottom posted:

Got an old one that just got an epilogue.

Me [24M] with my newly-single friend [25F], trying to reintroduce her to our old-friend group and I realize I have developed a huge crush on her after a month of talking to her. I should probably squash it.



UPDATE: Me [24M] with my newly-single friend [25F], trying to reintroduce her to our old-friend group and I realize I have developed a huge crush on her after a month of talking to her. I should probably squash it.

:unsmith:

maskenfreiheit
Dec 30, 2004

fruit on the bottom posted:

Got an old one that just got an epilogue.

Me [24M] with my newly-single friend [25F], trying to reintroduce her to our old-friend group and I realize I have developed a huge crush on her after a month of talking to her. I should probably squash it.



UPDATE: Me [24M] with my newly-single friend [25F], trying to reintroduce her to our old-friend group and I realize I have developed a huge crush on her after a month of talking to her. I should probably squash it.


Dawwwww
:3:

CharlestheHammer
Jun 26, 2011

YOU SAY MY POSTS ARE THE RAVINGS OF THE DUMBEST PERSON ON GOD'S GREEN EARTH BUT YOU YOURSELF ARE READING THEM. CURIOUS!

fruit on the bottom posted:

People aren’t racist because they don’t want to gently caress you

Thank you for proving my point.

Blade Runner
Aug 14, 2015

maskenfreiheit posted:

You can not be attracted to a person.

If you consistently can’t find a single hot black lady you’d like to eat the rear end of, you are racist

So, if you're not attracted to darker skintones because you like pale girls, you're a racist? Seems kinda dumb.


CharlestheHammer posted:

They aren't obligated to do poo poo.

But I am not obligated to validate your racism because it makes you feel bad, that is something for you to deal with.

It works both ways buddy.

It does not make me feel bad to have someone be called a racist over something so monumentally silly as not being attracted to a certain trait and not feeling as though I am obligated to gently caress someone in spite of that, no.

christmas boots
Oct 15, 2012

To these sing-alongs 🎤of siren 🧜🏻‍♀️songs
To oohs😮 to ahhs😱 to 👏big👏applause👏
With all of my 😡anger I scream🤬 and shout📢
🇺🇸America🦅, I love you 🥰but you're freaking 💦me 😳out
Biscuit Hider

CharlestheHammer posted:

Thank you for proving my point.

Indulge me. How does this prove your point?

CharlestheHammer
Jun 26, 2011

YOU SAY MY POSTS ARE THE RAVINGS OF THE DUMBEST PERSON ON GOD'S GREEN EARTH BUT YOU YOURSELF ARE READING THEM. CURIOUS!

Blade Runner posted:

So, if you're not attracted to darker skintones because you like pale girls, you're a racist? Seems kinda dumb.


It does not make me feel bad to have someone be called a racist over something so monumentally silly as not being attracted to a certain trait and not feeling as though I am obligated to gently caress someone in spite of that, no.

It does make you feel bad, that is why this a thing to begin with. You don't want to be called a racist, but you don't want to change your behavior but residing the word itself.

small ghost
Jan 30, 2013

maskenfreiheit posted:

You can not be attracted to a person.

If you consistently can’t find a single hot black lady you’d like to eat the rear end of, you are racist

It's also a pretty big tell when someone is like 'oh I'm just not attracted to black people' like, what, all black people? Cos someone with Somali ancestry and someone with Nigerian ancestry are likely gonna look completely different excepting the colour of their skin.

maskenfreiheit
Dec 30, 2004

Blade Runner posted:

So, if you're not attracted to darker skintones because you like pale girls, you're a racist?

Blade Runner
Aug 14, 2015

CharlestheHammer posted:

It does make you feel bad, that is why this a thing to begin with.

It doesn't have to be something that makes me feel bad to think that it's a moronic statement.

Incidentally, didn't you get into a big argument before where your whole point was that you can't be racist against white people? How does that work, relative to this?

CharlestheHammer
Jun 26, 2011

YOU SAY MY POSTS ARE THE RAVINGS OF THE DUMBEST PERSON ON GOD'S GREEN EARTH BUT YOU YOURSELF ARE READING THEM. CURIOUS!

fruit on the bottom posted:

Indulge me. How does this prove your point?

Because you said something untrue.

maskenfreiheit
Dec 30, 2004

Werong Bustope posted:

It's also a pretty big tell when someone is like 'oh I'm just not attracted to black people' like, what, all black people? Cos someone with Somali ancestry and someone with Nigerian ancestry are likely gonna look completely different excepting the colour of their skin.

I like the Malcolm in the Middle where Francis meets a literal African princess on a bus and Hal and Louis just never really notice or mention it.

christmas boots
Oct 15, 2012

To these sing-alongs 🎤of siren 🧜🏻‍♀️songs
To oohs😮 to ahhs😱 to 👏big👏applause👏
With all of my 😡anger I scream🤬 and shout📢
🇺🇸America🦅, I love you 🥰but you're freaking 💦me 😳out
Biscuit Hider
I absolutely agree that there’s very probably a racial element if you are not ever attracted to people of other races.

But in any particular case, not wanting to go to bone town with a particular person of color does not make you a racist.

Who What Now
Sep 10, 2006

by Azathoth

Blade Runner posted:

So, if you're not attracted to darker skintones because you like pale girls, you're a racist?

You know who else fetishises skin tones? Racists.

quote:

Seems kinda dumb.

Racists aren't well known for their intelligence.

christmas boots
Oct 15, 2012

To these sing-alongs 🎤of siren 🧜🏻‍♀️songs
To oohs😮 to ahhs😱 to 👏big👏applause👏
With all of my 😡anger I scream🤬 and shout📢
🇺🇸America🦅, I love you 🥰but you're freaking 💦me 😳out
Biscuit Hider

CharlestheHammer posted:

Because you said something untrue.

It’s not untrue. I bet most people are turned off by your personality

Palpek
Dec 27, 2008


Do you feel it, Zach?
My coffee warned me about it.


Shut the gently caress up guys. Post more examples of human misery instead of representing it.

CharlestheHammer
Jun 26, 2011

YOU SAY MY POSTS ARE THE RAVINGS OF THE DUMBEST PERSON ON GOD'S GREEN EARTH BUT YOU YOURSELF ARE READING THEM. CURIOUS!

fruit on the bottom posted:

It’s not untrue. I bet most people are turned off by your personality

Probably, that doesn't have anything to do with anything tho.

Also doesn't make your dumb statement any more right.

Mirthless
Mar 27, 2011

by the sex ghost

Blade Runner posted:

So, if you're not attracted to darker skintones because you like pale girls, you're a racist? Seems kinda dumb.


there are people with melanin in their skin who are still pale

pastiness is not a trait unique to white people

christmas boots
Oct 15, 2012

To these sing-alongs 🎤of siren 🧜🏻‍♀️songs
To oohs😮 to ahhs😱 to 👏big👏applause👏
With all of my 😡anger I scream🤬 and shout📢
🇺🇸America🦅, I love you 🥰but you're freaking 💦me 😳out
Biscuit Hider
Ugh, fine


My [16F] mom doesn't want me babysitting [3M] anymore because his mother [23F] is too good looking

quote:

This is the stupidest thing I've ever had to type out. Friday night my dad picked me up from Carmella's house. Carmella is my employer of 6 months now. Carmella is a model and she's starting a career in the television industry. My dad has never met Carmella because he is never around to do so. He's normally stationed somewhere overseas. He met Carmella for the first time on Friday night. They spoke for a little bit and I was there the whole time. Not once did she even remotely flirt with him or vice versa. Dad said something as a off hand comment to mom about how Carmella is a very pretty young girl. Here I am being told I can't babysit anymore for her because moms jealous. Dad's trying to help but moms not listening.

tl;dr: Dad made an off hand comment that meant nothing and it's resulted in mom freaking out.

CharlestheHammer
Jun 26, 2011

YOU SAY MY POSTS ARE THE RAVINGS OF THE DUMBEST PERSON ON GOD'S GREEN EARTH BUT YOU YOURSELF ARE READING THEM. CURIOUS!
I am pretty sure that's the plot of a 90s sitcom.

blarzgh
Apr 14, 2009

SNITCHIN' RANDY
Grimey Drawer

fruit on the bottom posted:

Ugh, fine


My [16F] mom doesn't want me babysitting [3M] anymore because his mother [23F] is too good looking

Thats not how these things usually go. You know, in the videos?

Pick
Jul 19, 2009
Nap Ghost

fruit on the bottom posted:

Ugh, fine


My [16F] mom doesn't want me babysitting [3M] anymore because his mother [23F] is too good looking

That's actually fair, tons of married men cheat.

maskenfreiheit
Dec 30, 2004
Husband's sister wants him, how do I deal with this crap?? (self.relationship_advice)

quote:

You read that right. No, I'm not a hillbilly. You know how you can tell a woman is in love with a man, wants to have sex with him, carry his babies, the whole nine yards? The looks she gives him and the way she flirts, her word choice, everything points to her being obsessed with him? Yeah, that's how my husband's sister is towards him.

Let me set the stage.

They grow up poor, dad's always at work, so he, being the older brother, looks after her. She develops a he's-my-prince! complex about their relationship. Goes into his room at night to sleep next to him to"feel safe". He beats up boys that are mean to her. My prince!!

He grows up super handsome, she doesn't grow up at all.

In I come. He and I meet abroad and instantly fall in love. He's telling everyone before they even meet me that I'm the one, he's going to marry me.

I meet the family and witness how often she likes to playfully and flirtatiously touch and wrestle with him. She's the instigator. They're both in their twenties. I tell him it creeps me out and he starts avoiding the awkward contacts, which upsets her.

He's had the conversation with her in front of their parents (but not in front of me) that I'm his wife and number one in his world, to which she in all seriousness replies that she should be his number one because he is her number one. She's in a long-term relationship with plans to get married but not yet engaged.

How do I deal with this bitch?? I feel so disrespected, fed-up, creeped out, and don't know what to do or how to do the impossible of somehow turning us all into one big happy non-incestuous family. My husband tells me to rise above it and be the bigger person, that all that matters is that he loves me. I know he's right, but she won't stop her behavior. He thinks it's best if I don't confront her, and I get that being confronted about your sick disgusting feelings towards your own brother would be uncomfortable for all involved. But I feel like I have to stand my ground and set her straight. I don't want this to still be an issue once we have kids.

Also to be clear, if I had even the slightest feeling that the feelings she seems to have for him were mutual, I would be gone. I don't need him, I love him and I love myself.

maskenfreiheit
Dec 30, 2004

Pick posted:

That's actually fair, tons of married men cheat.

controlling your partner is abuse, partners are allowed to have contact with the opposite sex

Mirthless
Mar 27, 2011

by the sex ghost

fruit on the bottom posted:

Ugh, fine


My [16F] mom doesn't want me babysitting [3M] anymore because his mother [23F] is too good looking

quote:

This is the stupidest thing I've ever had to type out. Friday night my dad picked me up from Carmella's house. Carmella is my employer of 6 months now. Carmella is a model and she's starting a career in the television industry. My dad has never met Carmella because he is never around to do so. He's normally stationed somewhere overseas. He met Carmella for the first time on Friday night. They spoke for a little bit and I was there the whole time. Not once did she even remotely flirt with him or vice versa. Dad said something as a off hand comment to mom about how Carmella is a very pretty young girl. Here I am being told I can't babysit anymore for her because moms jealous. Dad's trying to help but moms not listening.

tl;dr: Dad made an off hand comment that meant nothing and it's resulted in mom freaking out.

hmmmmm something tells me dad has given mom a reason not to trust him

maskenfreiheit posted:

controlling your partner is abuse, partners are allowed to have contact with the opposite sex

does anybody have that air force wife post handy?

CharlestheHammer
Jun 26, 2011

YOU SAY MY POSTS ARE THE RAVINGS OF THE DUMBEST PERSON ON GOD'S GREEN EARTH BUT YOU YOURSELF ARE READING THEM. CURIOUS!

Pick posted:

That's actually fair, tons of married men cheat.

You should divorce rather than going Pence on em.

Barudak
May 7, 2007

blarzgh posted:

Thats not how these things usually go. You know, in the videos?

I mean, I dont know why youre confused. She never mentioned their various crimes of boosting VHS players or their international crew of drivers each in customized vehicles and a penchant for death defying stunts so i dont think theres any reason to think that theyll stop being a family for 30, maybe 45 minutes before coming back together to take down the white villain.

Who What Now
Sep 10, 2006

by Azathoth

Pick posted:

That's actually fair, tons of married men cheat.

Stopping the kid from babysitting ain't gonna do a drat thing to keep the dad from going over to bang the hot single model-mom.

monkeytennis
Apr 26, 2007


Toilet Rascal

Mirthless posted:

lol check out this PM I just got:


:sad:

Tbf you do come across as a bit of a know-it-all and I think sharing a PM (the ‘P’ stands for personal) is pretty childish.

christmas boots
Oct 15, 2012

To these sing-alongs 🎤of siren 🧜🏻‍♀️songs
To oohs😮 to ahhs😱 to 👏big👏applause👏
With all of my 😡anger I scream🤬 and shout📢
🇺🇸America🦅, I love you 🥰but you're freaking 💦me 😳out
Biscuit Hider
I’m gonna bet on the dark horse and say that actually mom cheated while he was overseas and she’s projecting.

blarzgh
Apr 14, 2009

SNITCHIN' RANDY
Grimey Drawer

Barudak posted:

I mean, I dont know why youre confused. She never mentioned their various crimes of boosting VHS players or their international crew of drivers each in customized vehicles and a penchant for death defying stunts so i dont think theres any reason to think that theyll stop being a family for 30, maybe 45 minutes before coming back together to take down the white villain.

I think we're thinking about different videos.

christmas boots
Oct 15, 2012

To these sing-alongs 🎤of siren 🧜🏻‍♀️songs
To oohs😮 to ahhs😱 to 👏big👏applause👏
With all of my 😡anger I scream🤬 and shout📢
🇺🇸America🦅, I love you 🥰but you're freaking 💦me 😳out
Biscuit Hider

monkeytennis posted:

Tbf you do come across as a bit of a know-it-all and I think sharing a PM (the ‘P’ stands for personal) is pretty childish.

It actually stands for private, loser.

christmas boots
Oct 15, 2012

To these sing-alongs 🎤of siren 🧜🏻‍♀️songs
To oohs😮 to ahhs😱 to 👏big👏applause👏
With all of my 😡anger I scream🤬 and shout📢
🇺🇸America🦅, I love you 🥰but you're freaking 💦me 😳out
Biscuit Hider
Loooooooser

maskenfreiheit
Dec 30, 2004
I (23F) think my husband (36M) of 5 years has borderline personality disorder. Am I wrong to want to leave?Relationships

quote:

Hello everyone, thanks in advance for any advice. I'm going to try to keep this as short as possible. A few details changed for privacy reasons.

About a year into our relationship, my husband started getting more controlling. It's gotten worse and worse, and recently I began wondering if it may even be emotionally abusive. I googled signs and red flags, and they hit nearly every nail on the head. He'll tell me what I can and can't wear, who I'm allowed to be friends with. If I try to make plans without him, I'm a bad wife and not prioritizing our relationship. I'm not allowed to have my own finances because I may be "saving up to leave him". I won't go into every detail, but these are some basic examples.

When I confronted him on these points, he basically shut me down and told me to never accuse him of anything like that again, and that it was abusive and manipulative for me to say things like that. I began wondering if he was right, and I was being abusive or cruel somehow, but at my most recent therapy appointment (I have diagnosed persistent depressive disorder) I brought it up, and gave my therapist a few examples, and she confirmed that many things he was saying or doing were manipulative. She gave me some techniques to deal with the manipulation, and encouraged me to set some established boundaries.

However, a few days later I had a meeting with a new psychiatrist (old one left, and I had to do an initial appointment with the new one to get my prescription refilled) we touched on the problem with my husband, as he could see them in my files with my psychologist. After talking about it for a little bit, he asked me a few questions about my husband from the DSM-5, and suggested that he see someone about getting tested for Borderline Personality Disorder. He also gave me some suggested reading on living with someone with BPD. After doing more research on my own, all the symptoms fit perfectly with my husband.

The problem is, I don't know if I can go through all of that work to save our marriage. I already feel like I've been struggling with my own illness, and the past few years of walking on eggshells and being berated for every little decision has broken me. We started dating right after I turned 18, and I feel like I didn't have the experience to understand the warning signs.

But at the same time, surely it's not his fault if he has BPD? Lots of the websites say it stems from childhood abuse, which he definitely experienced. I feel like as his wife I owe it to him to try to work this out, but I've tried talking through manipulative moments and I always come out of them feeling like a failure. I just don't know where to go from here.

Barudak
May 7, 2007

fruit on the bottom posted:

I’m gonna bet on the dark horse and say that actually mom cheated while he was overseas and she’s projecting.

Please, he was a stallion.

Pick
Jul 19, 2009
Nap Ghost

Who What Now posted:

Stopping the kid from babysitting ain't gonna do a drat thing to keep the dad from going over to bang the hot single model-mom.

You can't 100% blame the man if you let him hang around preternaturally attractive tramps. That's a lack of due diligence.

Mirthless
Mar 27, 2011

by the sex ghost

maskenfreiheit posted:

I (23F) think my husband (36M) of 5 years has borderline personality disorder. Am I wrong to want to leave?Relationships

a tale as old as time

small ghost
Jan 30, 2013

Pregnant GF(24F) put blame on me(24M)

quote:

My gf of 3 years is 8 weeks pregnant. We both decided that abortion was our best option and have a date scheduled.

In the meantime, my GF has been complaining about suffering a lot. Her morning sickness started at week 5 and lasts all day and she vomits frequently. She's tried many methods and nothing helps. She eats a quarter of what she used to and vomits a lot back up.

She was an avid gym rat but can't even go to the gym due to pain and vomiting. She has complained about this, especially given that with her small frame she's put on some weight during this ordeal and can't fit into her clothes.

So she's in pain, she's sick, her feet hurt, she has to stay home instead of doing fun stuff, she has to power through work, etc. I sympathize.

But it's really hard when it feels like she is blaming me for getting her pregnant. She even says things like "it sucks, I know it's 50% each of our fault, but I'm the one 100% suffering. I could just some use empathy." It's just puts me in a soar mood that I am taking any blame, so showing empathy is hard right now when I'm irked about being blamed.

How can I resolve this?

Tl;dr: My gf is pregnant and I don't like feeling blamed for putting her through this.

quote:

It's just her tone of voice and choice of words. It's like she isn't taking any responsibility.

quote:

Just being reminded about my part in the situation, whenever she's vomiting or nauseous. Because I know I had a hand in it, but I don't think it's anyone's "fault."

quote:

 I know she can hardly eat, is sleeping 13 hours a day, dies complain about headaches, and is having difficulties staying hydrated. How serious should this be taken?

Not the best one I've found but I like the slow unfold of 'ugh my pregnant girlfriend wants me to take some responsibility for her suffering' to 'oh, by the way, she probably has hyperemesis gravida and is incredibly ill.'

maskenfreiheit
Dec 30, 2004

Pick posted:

You can't 100% blame the man if you let him hang around preternaturally attractive tramps. That's a lack of due diligence.

Just because someone's attractive doesn't necessarily mean they're more sexually active. But I can understand that you might not be aware of that.

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blarzgh
Apr 14, 2009

SNITCHIN' RANDY
Grimey Drawer

Pick posted:

You can't 100% blame the man if you let him hang around preternaturally attractive tramps. That's a lack of due diligence.

And if this thread is any indicator, there's nothing that 23 year old chicks love more than gross old dudes.

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