PYF Funny Pictures: on the paradox of meat

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Neddy Seagoon: Oct 12, 2012; "Hi Everybody!"

Caufman posted:

Aaaah, maybe not the geese, because they think they're defending their babies, which can trigger magnitudes of ferocity greater than looking for a meal. I really think the best solution there is to retreat and surrender. Respect their turf and make an offering of bread if you need to win favor.

I'm not giving anyone advice on killing children, though You stay with your loss edits if you want information on that.

Woah, woah, no-one advocates killing children.

It's about establishing yourself as the king of the chuck-e-cheese through Battle Royale.

# ? Oct 17, 2017 10:20

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 16, 2024 20:58

Snowglobe of Doom: Mar 30, 2012; sucks to be right

A Chuck-e-Cheese Royale?

Do you know what they call that in Paris?

# ? Oct 17, 2017 10:30

Solice Kirsk: Jun 1, 2004; .

Le Cigare Volant!

# ? Oct 17, 2017 10:33

Caufman: May 7, 2007

Neddy Seagoon posted:

Woah, woah, no-one advocates killing children.

It's about establishing yourself as the king of the chuck-e-cheese through Battle Royale.

Oh, I see. Sorry for my triggered response.

As for becoming the petty king of chuck-e-cheese, moderate strength is shown in violence. Supreme strength is shown in levity. By that I mean you become king by letting the toddlers fight themselves among the Battle Royale. Give the winner a pizza, and then they will be your champion, and you will be their king.

# ? Oct 17, 2017 10:34

Ak Gara: Jul 29, 2005; That's just the way he rolls.

Caufman posted:

My hypothesis on the subject: the instinct is to try to brush as many off as possible, but I think that's going to be fruitless. Instead, focus one at a time on killing the easiest target first in the most brutal way possible. The idea is that the more gruesome the death, the more hesitation and fear you can instill in the other monkeys. A fight in Shadows of Mordor works the same way.

Obviously, don't feed the monkeys so you don't have to do this. In fact, if you fed the monkeys, simply let the monkeys devour you, because there's a high chance they will be able to use your flesh and energy better than you.

Do monkeys use the tactic of ripping off their opponent's nuts or is that just chimps? Because I don't think I want to fight moneys more than 1 at a time.

# ? Oct 17, 2017 11:00

Pastry of the Year: Apr 12, 2013

Y'ALL FINALLY WENT AND DID IT

# ? Oct 17, 2017 11:01

Solice Kirsk: Jun 1, 2004; .

A bear would win a fight against a gorilla.

# ? Oct 17, 2017 11:03

Memento: Aug 25, 2009; Bleak Gremlin

Solice Kirsk posted:

A bear would win a fight against a gorilla.

You can't know that for sure until you witness it.

And charge $90 for the pay per view event. Only on Showtime�.

You could have a mongoose vs. a cobra open up the undercard!

# ? Oct 17, 2017 11:16

Caufman: May 7, 2007

Ak Gara posted:

Do monkeys use the tactic of ripping off their opponent's nuts or is that just chimps? Because I don't think I want to fight moneys more than 1 at a time.

I don't know, but that's exactly the kind of brutality that I'm talking about that wins fights with unfavorable odds.

I want to be clear, I've never fought an animal with my bare hands to the death, so I'm not an expert on how to defeat them or how they might defeat you. I'm just trying to spitball the best guesses I can for these hilariously mismatched hypothetical animal fights.

# ? Oct 17, 2017 11:19

The Lone Badger: Sep 24, 2007

Would you rather fight 100 toddler-sized monkeys or 100 monkey-sized toddlers?

# ? Oct 17, 2017 11:27

Caufman: May 7, 2007

The toddler-sized monkeys. I'm not gonna fight human toddlers :mad:

# ? Oct 17, 2017 11:28

Solice Kirsk: Jun 1, 2004; .

Memento posted:

You can't know that for sure until you witness it.

And charge $90 for the pay per view event. Only on Showtime�.

You could have a mongoose vs. a cobra open up the undercard!

Mongoose vs cobra has been done to death. If we really wanna draw the viewers in how about 20 roided up starving chickens vs a ball python?

# ? Oct 17, 2017 11:30

Lobok: Jul 13, 2006; Say Watt?

Away all Goats posted:

Looks like she's on her phone while driving.

# ? Oct 17, 2017 12:20

Solice Kirsk: Jun 1, 2004; .

The cigarette was actually soaked in tap water too.

# ? Oct 17, 2017 12:28

RareAcumen: Dec 28, 2012

Solice Kirsk posted:

A bear would win a fight against a gorilla.

We've still yet to see a gorilla at peak fitness.

# ? Oct 17, 2017 13:10

Solice Kirsk: Jun 1, 2004; .

A gorilla, trained as an infant in the ways to fight bears vs a bear, trained as a cub in the ways to fight gorillas. Seems like we're gonna need to develope some sort of bear weight lifting regimen too. Maybe we should bring YLLS in on this.

# ? Oct 17, 2017 13:36

TehRedWheelbarrow: Mar 16, 2011; Fan of Britches

Solice Kirsk posted:

A gorilla, trained as an infant in the ways to fight bears vs a bear, trained as a cub in the ways to fight gorillas. Seems like we're gonna need to develope some sort of bear weight lifting regimen too. Maybe we should bring YLLS in on this.

but.. i never match my belt and shoes :ohdear:

# ? Oct 17, 2017 13:37

SpacePig: Apr 4, 2007; Hold that pose.
I've gotta get something.

Solice Kirsk posted:

A bear would win a fight against a gorilla.

How big of a bear?

# ? Oct 17, 2017 14:34

DavidAlltheTime: Feb 14, 2008; All David...all the TIME!

Would you fight harder if they were regular monkeys, or shaved monkeys wearing people clothes? What if the clothes were made of American Flags?

# ? Oct 17, 2017 15:51

SulfurMonoxideCute: Feb 9, 2008; I was under direct orders not to die
🐵❌💀

I got bit by a monkey once.

# ? Oct 17, 2017 15:59

TehRedWheelbarrow: Mar 16, 2011; Fan of Britches

did you die?

# ? Oct 17, 2017 16:00

Rascar Capac: Aug 31, 2016; Surprisingly nice, for an evil Inca mummy.

My home town, everyone.

# ? Oct 17, 2017 16:03

SulfurMonoxideCute: Feb 9, 2008; I was under direct orders not to die
🐵❌💀

sneakyfrog posted:

did you die?

No, but my finger got pretty hosed up.

https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3654252&userid=0&perpage=40&pagenumber=332#post470541623

Funny pics if you laugh at gore pics.

# ? Oct 17, 2017 16:05

Gravitas Shortfall: Jul 17, 2007; Utility is seven-eighths Proximity.

Solice Kirsk posted:

A gorilla, trained as an infant in the ways to fight bears vs a bear, trained as a cub in the ways to fight gorillas. Seems like we're gonna need to develope some sort of bear weight lifting regimen too. Maybe we should bring YLLS in on this.

Can we graft rocket launchers to one or both of them.

Asking for a friend.

# ? Oct 17, 2017 16:07

BloodyScab: Sep 12, 2017; by Smythe

Gravitas Shortfall posted:

Can we graft rocket launchers to one or both of them.

Asking for a friend.

This is why zoo simulator exists. We don't have to wonder anymore.

# ? Oct 17, 2017 16:15

steinrokkan: Apr 2, 2011; Soiled Meat

Rascar Capac posted:

My home town, everyone.

did you die?

# ? Oct 17, 2017 16:15

The Bloop: Jul 5, 2004; by Fluffdaddy

Rascar Capac posted:

For sale
Adult coughing
never worn

# ? Oct 17, 2017 16:24

Boinks: Nov 24, 2003

Rascar Capac posted:

My home town, everyone.

That would make an awesome Halloween decoration. Try to trade an XBox 360 for it or something.

# ? Oct 17, 2017 16:41

Proteus Jones: Feb 28, 2013

Pastry of the Year posted:

Y'ALL FINALLY WENT AND DID IT

It's beautiful.

# ? Oct 17, 2017 16:54

Milo and POTUS: Sep 3, 2017; I will not shut up about the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers. I talk about them all the time and work them into every conversation I have. I built a shrine in my room for the yellow one who died because sadly no one noticed because she died around 9/11. Wanna see it?

Caufman posted:

What a throwback!

edit: and

Ron Jeremey: guitar aficionado

# ? Oct 17, 2017 16:55

Milo and POTUS: Sep 3, 2017; I will not shut up about the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers. I talk about them all the time and work them into every conversation I have. I built a shrine in my room for the yellow one who died because sadly no one noticed because she died around 9/11. Wanna see it?