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His Divine Shadow posted:We went to a local event this weekend, we live in a small rural county and we have a lot of new immigrants here, so the local community groups arrange a kind of cultural exchange / childrens party. They had people reading stories on stage combined with theater and music and such. You know most kids sat more or less nicely and watched the shows, on the floor or with their parents. I kind of feel like your SO. I want Gabriel to sit and chill out for a bit but I end up just chasing him around the event cause he needs to be in everything. I also kick myself because he's 1 and a half so of course he's in everything. We've been to 2 weddings lately and both, I've had to hold him by the reception area cause he won't stay still for longer than 2 seconds at a time.  I know it'll get better and he's so young but that and him not saying more than Mama or Dada or Nana (Banana) is wearing me down as a dad. I feel like I've failed to teach him things. I've also realized I'm just dumping worries and gone off course. Sorry bout that.
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Oct 16, 2017 17:01
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I like that diagnoses of a lean high energy baby. I think Jasper would have gotten the same diagnosis. He also has issues in busy, public spaces. Its frustrating because he's a very extroverted child. My husband and I are very introverted so its torture for us to see him bothering other people. His Divine Shadow- Isn't it the worse when you're mad and frustrated and they keep acting out and running away and they think its just a fun game and you're trying to get them out of the public situation? My husband and I have started to go to bed at about 9:30. Jasper goes to bed at 8. We're both too exhausted to do anything productive after he goes to bed. We get up at 5am to spend time together instead! He'll usually sleep in till 7 so we have a good 2 hours to ourselves and we're full of energy (coffee).
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Oct 16, 2017 17:26
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Irritated Goat posted:I know it'll get better and he's so young but that and him not saying more than Mama or Dada or Nana (Banana) is wearing me down as a dad. I feel like I've failed to teach him things. I've also realized I'm just dumping worries and gone off course. Sorry bout that. It doesn't really change as your child gets older. Today it's simple words and sitting still. Next year it'll be playing nice and sharing. You're not alone.
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Oct 16, 2017 17:28
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In the wake of the #MeToo campaign, in which women are discussing times when they, too, were sexually harassed/assaulted, I have been wondering: how do I raise my sons to be people who don't harass/assault other people? Any advice?
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Oct 16, 2017 17:35
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flashy_mcflash posted:I would have flipped on them. Why the gently caress are you taking any photos on a playground ever, much less after your children caused an accident?? Is it considered wrong to take pictures of your own kid at the playground? I would never take picture that incorporated other kids, but I like taking picture of my son when we are there. Axiem posted:In the wake of the #MeToo campaign, in which women are discussing times when they, too, were sexually harassed/assaulted, I have been wondering: how do I raise my sons to be people who don't harass/assault other people? Strong female role model and making sure you teach them about consent, etc etc. I think it's mostly about reacting the right way when you see example of lovely behaviour/rape culturish things and make sure they understand that it is not ok. KingColliwog fucked around with this message at 17:50 on Oct 16, 2017 |
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Oct 16, 2017 17:48
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Axiem posted:In the wake of the #MeToo campaign, in which women are discussing times when they, too, were sexually harassed/assaulted, I have been wondering: how do I raise my sons to be people who don't harass/assault other people? I'm doing everything I can to keep my kids from being assholes, so that includes not letting them get away with hurting each other (within reason, of course) and not talking back. My oldest is turning into a bit of a smartass, but I can't tell if he's going to cross over into rear end in a top hat smartass or cute smartass. We don't model physically or sexually aggressive behavior in front of them, nor do we spend time with people who do. Their TV/movie viewership is all benign stuff like Sid the Science Kid, we read a lot of books from brands like Sesame Street which celebrate diversity and kindness, and we PRAISE THE gently caress out of them when they are nice and caring to each other. I try to listen/watch for stuff like talking about other people in front of them, I once caught my oldest pointing and laughing at a little person and I shut that poo poo down right away, and I feel like it's going to be a constant job monitoring this stuff. They don't have phones, they barely use tablets, are never on our computers and I hope to keep them away from social media for another decade or so. I am taking a very no nonsense approach to sexuality. I haven't gotten into describing the physical act of sex or anything, but my oldest (he'll be 7 next month) already understands how fertilization and birth works. And they all know about menstruation, as they share bathroom stalls with me when we are out and about. I make sure they know their private areas are only for themselves, I call them out when they are running around naked after a bath and pinching each other on the butt or waggling their junk around, and my youngest son just grabbed my boob yesterday and I reminded him that is MY private area and not for him to touch for fun. I don't want to scare them about their bodies, or anyone else's bodies, but I want to be sure they understand if anyone touches them how important it is to let us know! And people are so quick to report kids for "unacceptable" behavior, I'd hate for one of my kids to playfully grab a teacher's boob and get expelled or something.
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Oct 16, 2017 17:51
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KingColliwog posted:Is it considered wrong to take pictures of your own kid at the playground? I would never take picture that incorporated other kids, but I like taking picture of my son when we are there. VorpalBunny posted:I'm doing everything I can to keep my kids from being assholes, so that includes not letting them get away with hurting each other (within reason, of course) and not talking back. My oldest is turning into a bit of a smartass, but I can't tell if he's going to cross over into rear end in a top hat smartass or cute smartass. We don't model physically or sexually aggressive behavior in front of them, nor do we spend time with people who do. Their TV/movie viewership is all benign stuff like Sid the Science Kid, we read a lot of books from brands like Sesame Street which celebrate diversity and kindness, and we PRAISE THE gently caress out of them when they are nice and caring to each other. I try to listen/watch for stuff like talking about other people in front of them, I once caught my oldest pointing and laughing at a little person and I shut that poo poo down right away, and I feel like it's going to be a constant job monitoring this stuff. They don't have phones, they barely use tablets, are never on our computers and I hope to keep them away from social media for another decade or so.  Our 6 year old also had a class at school in first grade that taught them about their private parts being private, he took it seriously, after that he once told me to close my eyes when he came out of the bath because he didn't want me to see his private parts. He also hates the idea of being a bully. One time I told him not to do X because that is what bullies do and he broke down crying because he is not a bully.Heh, our 2 year old daughter is well on her way to be safe, when we play tickle wars she will cover her chest and yell "No! Mah boobies!"
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Oct 16, 2017 18:44
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Regarding tickling, we definitely make the point that “stop” means “stop”. If a child doesn’t want to be tickled, do not tickle that child! (Same with hugging, and any other kind of touch) We have had to have this conversation with multiple family members. It takes the men far more hitting over the head for them to get it.
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Oct 16, 2017 19:25
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rgocs posted:
My 4 year old calls them "boomies"
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Oct 16, 2017 19:57
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KingColliwog posted:Is it considered wrong to take pictures of your own kid at the playground? I would never take picture that incorporated other kids, but I like taking picture of my son when we are there. Sorry I should have added "without express permission". I've taken photos of mine on the playground (omitting others) and am careful too, but have still gotten mild static about it from other parents. It seemed clear that cgogs kid was in the shot too, which is majorly offside.
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Oct 16, 2017 20:09
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KernelSlanders posted:What's the obsession with teaching children barnyard animals? Half the books we have focus on them. Is it just that we haven't updated our perception of what a one-year-old should know in a century or so? Pop culture seems to be rather opinionated that "the cow says moo" is important. toddlers love animals. i took mine to the zoo and amidst all the exotic creatures, as she was looking at a majestic eagle, she turned to me and said "where's horse? where's cow?" we also have to watch her with our elderly cat, he wants nothing more than to spend the rest of his days asleep and she's always hovering over him, doctoring him, feeding him etc. Axiem posted:In the wake of the #MeToo campaign, in which women are discussing times when they, too, were sexually harassed/assaulted, I have been wondering: how do I raise my sons to be people who don't harass/assault other people? just really emphasize empathy, and to always consider how someone else feels. i'd imagine the real issue comes in the teen years as boys are instructed by their peers as well as media to regard women as sex objects who aren't real people
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Oct 16, 2017 20:22
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Consent and empathy is what we've always focused on. No forced physical/intimate contact if they don't want it - no hugs, kisses, play-biting, tickling, whatever. There's no obligation, if he says no or stop we stop, and we expect him to do the same in return. And to be aware of other people and if you hurt them and to say sorry and try to be careful around them if they don't want to get hurt. And finally, to give him the social skills and social confidence he needs to avoid desperation or incompetence as driving factors. I think that covers the three major motives for inappropriate sexual behaviour - normalizing inappropriate consent models, not caring about how the other person might respond in pursuit of your own gratification, and a lack of better alternatives for obtaining validation. Dunno if it will be enough, but I hope so.
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Oct 16, 2017 21:04
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flashy_mcflash posted:That nine month regression can S my D. It was way worse than the 4 month one. God drat it. How long does it last?
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Oct 17, 2017 16:01
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Right now my daughter (2.5 years old) is either cranky all day through tiredness or takes a mega nap at about 2pm and then won't sleep at night until like 10pm. We can either have a happy kid and no adult time or a kid who sleeps all night but is extremely difficult all day. It's not much fun.
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Oct 17, 2017 16:19
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Alterian posted:I like that diagnoses of a lean high energy baby. I think Jasper would have gotten the same diagnosis. He also has issues in busy, public spaces. Its frustrating because he's a very extroverted child. My husband and I are very introverted so its torture for us to see him bothering other people. I don't like being the center of attention either so I know how you guys feel, though at the same time I am also proud the are such extroverts unlike me. But I was like that as a kid too until around 5-6th grade perhaps. So who knows how they will turn out in the end.
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Oct 17, 2017 16:20
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Jasper won't let us walk up to the bakery counter with him to ask for a free cookie. We have to stand all the way at the other end of the department and let him do it himself. He does say please and thank you on his own! Not certain where he got those traits from. We get mad at him when we go for walks and he'll casually say hi to everyone we pass. My husband and I do our best not to make eye contact with anyone. We were both shy children as well.
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Oct 17, 2017 16:42
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the_chavi posted:God drat it. How long does it last? Lasted a couple of weeks. Just be strong. If you don’t nip it in the bud now, it’ll be worse for you.
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Oct 17, 2017 16:49
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Alterian posted:Jasper won't let us walk up to the bakery counter with him to ask for a free cookie. We have to stand all the way at the other end of the department and let him do it himself. He does say please and thank you on his own! Not certain where he got those traits from. We get mad at him when we go for walks and he'll casually say hi to everyone we pass. My husband and I do our best not to make eye contact with anyone. Hah, sounds like mine as well. A regular social butterfly, even at 2 years old, and very independent and insistent that we let him do everything himself, especially when it involves interacting with other people. I love it though, I was introverted and asocial as a kid and it was miserable so I'm glad he's not in the same situation, and it also makes socializing so much easier with him around since he does all the hard/scary work hahah.
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Oct 17, 2017 17:05
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Oodles posted:Lasted a couple of weeks. Just be strong. If you don’t nip it in the bud now, it’ll be worse for you. And how, pray, does one nip it in the bud?
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Oct 17, 2017 18:03
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the_chavi posted:And how, pray, does one nip it in the bud? Don’t give in and bring them into bed with you. That’s a nasty cycle in my opinion. We were breaking night feeds at the same time as the 9 month sleep regression. So i went through each time she woke and the 12PM one was easy I put my hand on her back and shushed her back to sleep. The 4AM one was hard as she was awake, so I’d pick her up and cuddle her then she’d eventually fall back asleep by about 5:30AM. We did that for about a week, then the 4AM one became the only time she woke, and that was just a hand on her back and she’s fall back asleep. However, our middle one was a lot more stubborn. She’d lay in bed with her eyes closed, but not sleep for hours. And just when you think she was asleep and could leave she’d sit up. That went on for weeks.
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Oct 17, 2017 19:16
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I feel like every time I check this thread, I learn about yet another terrifying parenting challenge ahead. Bub is in the 4-5 month sleep regression. I have been waking up to feed her every 2 hours for the past 2 weeks and running on a stupidly low amount of sleep. This evening, she screamed for an hour straight while I was on a work-related conference call...presenting. Hubby and I trade off on bub duty (I work days, he works nights) and she STILL won't take bottles so I need to express for hubby to spoon/cup feed her during the day. I cannot get letdown to happen for the freaking pump and the internet is telling me that I should pump while breastfeeding to increase output. And just...how in the ever living gently caress* is that physically possible? Do these other women just have babies that don't wriggle or magical nursing pillows or boobs that stay automagically attached to their pumps. In tonight's attempt during the midnight dream feed, whenever I got the pump on, I shifted the baby so she lost her latch, when I got her to latch, I couldn't get the pump in position and after about 3 attempts she got pissed and lost interest in eating and I had no expressed milk and a wide awake baby. * I really am not prone to cursing normally and I do not have a difficult baby. But drat this parenting thing is so loving hard that I am sitting here thinking strings of expletives that I want to scream at the top of my lungs but of course I can't.
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Oct 18, 2017 15:39
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Leng posted:Words First off, you’re doing an awesome job. Parenting is hard. Our eldest wouldn’t take the bottle at all for 8 months, just flat out pushed it out of her mouth with her tongue. Or just wouldn’t suck on it, I even tried the high flow teat to see if she’d drink if it was in our mouth, she just ended up choking. So that wasn’t a great idea. Pumping while feeding, as great as it sounds, if she isn’t taking a bottle isn’t that just depleting your supply for when she is wanting to feed? I’ll get my wife to have a look at this thread when she gets home and see if she can give you any pointers.
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Oct 18, 2017 15:50
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Oodles posted:Don’t give in and bring them into bed with you. That’s a nasty cycle in my opinion. Yeah, I definitely wouldn't do that. The cats are angry enough to be usurped during daylight hours; they'd probably try to kill the kid if he got in bed with us too at night. I've had to pick him up to shush him back to sleep, and in most cases it's been under ten minutes (sometimes with nursing, sometimes not), so all in all it could be worse I guess... just been going on for six or seven weeks at this point. Separately, I had our first allergic scare today. Despite having been totally fine with peanut butter a few months ago, today the kid had a reaction and started vomiting copiously after having a tiny bit with breakfast. No hives or trouble breathing, but I did get to navigate a foreign hospital for the first time for my kid's first serious health scare. He's sleeping hard now, and we'll try for a scratch test next week to confirm that it is a peanut allergy.
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Oct 18, 2017 18:05
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Leng posted:I feel like every time I check this thread, I learn about yet another terrifying parenting challenge ahead. Breastfeeding is pretty challenging for most moms so don't blame yourself. If your baby is not great at feeding it can be a real hassle to do it. See if you have access to some breastfeeding groups or clinic near you. There is quite a few of them around here and we weren't aware of it the first time around. Turns out there are a lot of people who volunteer and/or you might be able to see a professional. They helped us quite a bit and you might be able to learn a thing or two that will improve your technique and make the whole thing easier. If you feed every 2 hours, you probably have enough stimulation to promote milk production. Unless a professional tells you so, I don't think pumping is such a good idea. Especially at night when you probably should try to keep it simple so you can get some sleep. We are currently breastfeeding twins and it's a loving pain in the butt. Trying to pump while you nurse a baby on the other boob is almost the same as trying to breastfeed twins. Doing that to yourself if you don't 100% have to seems like a terrible life choice. You could also try different brands of bottle. Your baby might not like the brand you are currently using and might be ok with another. -------- So breastfeeding twins is hard like I said but we're getting the hang of it. Having to use that stupid bottle and catheter to supplement the breastfeeding is still a pain, but we're starting to get pretty good at doing it. We saw some specialists yesterday at the breastfeeding clinic and they decided to prescribe some domperidone to help improve milk production and gave us quite a few pointers on how we could improve the breastfeeding technique (and it did help a whole lot). While exhausting and everything it's pretty cool that we can do this whole thing as a team. The first time around she was taking care of the whole breastfeeding thing while I did other stuff, but with the twins I really feel like I'm part of the experience so I try to focus on that and look at the glass like it's half full. We're so lucky that our 2 years old is the best toddler on the planet™. I can't even imagine taking care of two infants if our son was anything like other 2 years old I've met.
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Oct 18, 2017 19:14
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Leng posted:I feel like every time I check this thread, I learn about yet another terrifying parenting challenge ahead. Which pump do you have? I use the Freemie cups , which are great for pumping one side while nursing the other because I can actually hold the baby without him kicking the bottle. The collection cup goes in your bra and the tube comes out under your shirt (or I put it out the top). The company has a pump, but you can buy just the cups and adapter kits for most other pumps. I actually use the cups for my work-office pumping as well, which is way more discreet and allows my staff to barge in with questions constantly. I can even unhook, go do something in another room (as long as I don't bend over) and come back and re-attach. Driving and pumping is perfectly doable with this set-up as well. There are also hands-free pumping/nursing bras if you want to try with the normal flange/bottle set-up--I have the Rumina ones, but I rarely use the pumping feature since I like the Freemie cups. I've seen nursing bras, and hands-free pumping bras, but these were the only ones I found that let you do both.
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Oct 18, 2017 20:24
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KingColliwog posted:Breastfeeding is pretty challenging for most moms so don't blame yourself. If your baby is not great at feeding it can be a real hassle to do it. My wife struggled quite a bit with breast feeding. A lot of the advice they gave seemed to take no account for needing to get any amount of sleep or have any non-breastfeeding / pumping time. We ended up supplementing - which would have been an easier decision to come to if the nurse midwife / lactation consultants weren't such nazis about breast feeding. A better rested mother that has the reserves to deal with the challenges of raising a kid is more important than 1-2 formula feedings a day.
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Oct 19, 2017 05:27
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I'm sad that this was your experience. Might be a different philosophy here because they really emphasized that she might not be able to breastfeed and that is ok, that supplementing for a while can often be a necessity, that getting sleep is paramount and that a happy mother is more important than breastfeeding, that breastfeeding should be easy and that of its not and you don't manage to make out better with coaching then bring your head is pointless, etc. I don't know if it's a regional thing, but here we have no complaint. They mostly helped with technique (improved the way she grabbed her boob, the way she grabs their head, how to adjust the supplement thing we have, offered to help understand how to use the pump she has, showed us other way to supplement that might be easier for us, etc. But yeah, if its Nazi breastfeeder that tell you to do overly complicated thing, sleep with your baby if that's not what you want to do, feed them every couple of hours, etc then gently caress them. I thought those people kept to Facebook groups though. It's really sad if they are getting a hold of clinics and help group KingColliwog fucked around with this message at 08:24 on Oct 19, 2017 |
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Oct 19, 2017 08:10
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Leng, are you pumping to build up a stash because of needing to be away from your baby or are you pumping because you think you're not making enough for your baby? For the former- I found some sort of pumping bra/pumping strap invaluable. I got a neoprene velcro adjustable bra-thing off Amazon (it's called a Pump Strap, handily, but I imagine there's a million similar things) that is basically a stretchy but firm length of wetsuit material with holes cut out that you strap to your chest. You stick the pump flanges through and the ensemble is strapped to your boobs. 'Hands-free' pumping! Except not really, when you get as far along as we are(18 months and I've been back at work a year) your boobs are so dried and shriveled that the only way to get the pump to get milk out is to manually wring your tiddies from the outside in while the pump sucks(max vacuum) from the other end. Although I can still get 3oz over the course of 2x 6 minute pumps so I guess there's that. The manufacturer of the Pump Strap insists you can just stick a boob out through one of the holes to feed your kid while one pump flange stays on but I think the couple of times I tried it I just strapped it at an angle and pulled the nursing boob out on top completely. An easier/cheaper thing to do is go buy a cheap sports bra that's stretchy enough to pop a boob over but not so stretchy that if you cut holes in the nipple areas you can't get it to hold on a pump flange. There is also the Hakaa style suction pump which is a silicone bottle thing with a soft flange that you suction onto the opposite boob when feeding and it catches/encourages let down from the opposite side while feeding so you don't waste the leakage which overall strikes me as the lower effort way to go for pumping+feeding simultaneously. You might not get as much but it's quicker and easier so you might do it more often and get overall more that way. Also no more sticky wet opposite boob. IF you're super keen on pumping and feeding simultaneously anyway. I personally gave up that idea fairly quickly in lieu of just pumping after baby had had their fill. That way you're really sending the signal, 'oi there's a really gd hungry baby here make more please'. Usually I'd wait 10-15 minutes at least and then pump. Having said that I never pumped just for the sole purpose of boosting my supply, only to build a stash for going back to work. It's easiest to do either once or twice a day about 20 minutes after the last feed but at least an hour or more before baby wakes up wanting food. If you're pumping because you think baby isn't getting enough or isn't extracting enough milk/isn't stimulating your supply enough you really need to work with speech path/paediatric dentist/IBCLCs/paediatrician/mchn/all the above to work out whether 1) baby is actually in fact getting enough to eat and if not then, 2)why. Pumping by itself is not going to fix the issue, and unless you love pumping for its own sake then it's only going to frustrate you further in the long run. Frankly knowing what I know now, I'm not sure I could handle a baby that struggled any harder than mine did (tongue + lip +cheek ties lasered at 10 weeks of age, NOT EARLY ENOUGH but I didn't know that  goddamn was that a horrific experience for everyone). Exclusively pumping must be a special kind of hell. I'm not even sure I'd have the where withal to manage a Supplementary Nursing System(the tiny tube taped to your nipple that adds extra milk to when bub tries to breastfeed directly). Formula won't poison your kid (unless you live in some third world backwater with unregulated food manufacturing I guess). I'm not even convinced breastfeeding is cheaper/quicker anymore, and I once loved the poo poo out of The Womanly Art Of Breastfeeding. You're in Australia aren't you? I've heard good things about the Australian Breastfeeding Association (and even gave them my  ), though I've never had to actually ring their help line. They may have a list of resources specific to your local area they could put you on to- if you're in Melbourne we took our daughter to a paediatric dentist in Coburg who did the job (though he wasn't in the habit of using anaesthesia of any kind). I pray yours doesn't need anything of the sort but if you were curious I can email/FB details.
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Oct 19, 2017 11:47
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Oodles posted:First off, you’re doing an awesome job. Parenting is hard. Thanks for the encouragement. I am really not a maternal person so trying to be ultra calm, patient and very expressive is taking so much effort that I think I kind of just snapped a bit last night. KingColliwog posted:Trying to pump while you nurse a baby on the other boob is almost the same as trying to breastfeed twins. But to your advice, thanks for taking the time to type the well thought out response. I went back to re-read my post and realized that in my sleep deprived frustrated state I hadn't actually made things clear! Oodles posted:Pumping while feeding, as great as it sounds, if she isn’t taking a bottle isn’t that just depleting your supply for when she is wanting to feed? nyerf posted:Leng, are you pumping to build up a stash because of needing to be away from your baby or are you pumping because you think you're not making enough for your baby? So the whole issue is because both housing and childcare in Sydney are crazy expensive. Sydney is officially the 2nd most expensive city in the world for housing and childcare costs somewhere between $120-$140/day for an infant aged 0-2 years. Since I work during the day (mornings in the office, afternoon from home) and my husband works at night, between the two of us we can trade off on baby duty and avoid childcare costs (hopefully until she's 2). That means the only meal that she doesn't get straight from the boob is mid-morning - which is expressed breastmilk in a cup or by spoon from dad (because bottles are evil*). The problem now isn't overall milk production or breastfeeding itself. It's just now that milk production has been calibrated to what she needs, it got more difficult to pump decent volumes if letdown doesn't happen. Without being able to reliably let down for the pump we end up with quite small expressed quantities, so hence trying to pump while she's breastfeeding as that is the only time letdown is reliably triggered. We also figured out that when my milk gets frozen and the defrosted, it gets destroyed (thanks, overactive proteins) so I can't stockpile either. She only ever has one boob per feed as well, so it's kind of like, well, milk is spraying out of the other boob that's she's not having anyway, so might as well try to pump it. * On trying other bottles/teats, we decided against it because: 1) it's only for 1 meal 3 days/week**; 2) we could spend $$$ and she still might hate bottles and 3) she's a month from going on solids, so that mid-morning milk feed is going to get swapped for solids very soon. ** Well okay, there's the odd occasion here and there where I might be working the full day. So far, my husband has been bringing her into the office to feed (usually ends up being a drop in at lunch and then a drop in late afternoon). And yeah, it's exactly about as convenient and fun as you imagine it to be. I wish I knew this earlier.  I have the Avent single manual pump, picked simply because: 1) we inherited Avent bottles/teats from my sister-in-law and 2) I wasn't going to be pumping often, so figured we didn't need to go all out with double electric pumps.n8r posted:My wife struggled quite a bit with breast feeding. A lot of the advice they gave seemed to take no account for needing to get any amount of sleep or have any non-breastfeeding / pumping time. Not sure about you guys but what we got told was "feed on demand". I've experienced everything from baby sleeping straight through for 5-8 hour stretches without wanting a feed to constant half hour cluster feeds for 4 hours straight to the current every 2 hours during the night. I would be more okay/less frustrated with this if the demand didn't change every couple of weeks just as I got used to the feeding schedule. Edit for reply: nyerf posted:bra stuff nyerf posted:I personally gave up that idea fairly quickly in lieu of just pumping after baby had had their fill. That way you're really sending the signal, 'oi there's a really gd hungry baby here make more please'. Usually I'd wait 10-15 minutes at least and then pump. Having said that I never pumped just for the sole purpose of boosting my supply, only to build a stash for going back to work. It's easiest to do either once or twice a day about 20 minutes after the last feed but at least an hour or more before baby wakes up wanting food. This is what I'm doing right now, I just can't get the volumes you're getting because my letdown reflex doesn't trigger. I have been trying a lot of that visualization stuff but it's significantly more misses than hits at the moment. nyerf posted:You're in Australia aren't you? Yep. I might try and ring the mum2mum 1800 line if I still have trouble next week. Right now, I can pump somewhere between 30-50 ml over 15 mins after a feed so it's been OK as a "morning tea" snack for her while she was learning how to drink from a spoon/cup (since she would either spill half of it all over herself or get frustrated and refuse to try after 30 ml). Now, she's just getting much, much better so I'm trying to see if I can get her a full meal instead of a snack. It would also help on the odd occasion when I need to be away from her for the full day. Leng fucked around with this message at 13:02 on Oct 19, 2017 |
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Oct 19, 2017 12:45
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You mentioned leaking out of one boob while feeding on the other, so you decided to pump. Could you use those shield things that catch the excess milk so it’s not being wasted? In our three kids, all fed to 10 months, I don’t think I’ve ever witnessed my wife pump while feeding. And the comment about a gamut of feeding styles, that’s normal. It’s to do with development cycles and the like. You’ll find lots of cluster feeds just prior to a growth stage.
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Oct 19, 2017 13:01
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Oodles posted:You mentioned leaking out of one boob while feeding on the other, so you decided to pump. Could you use those shield things that catch the excess milk so it’s not being wasted? I used to try and catch it with a milk container, which worked during the 2-3 month period. Since then, she's discovered that she has limbs and pretty much spends most of her time flailing and flapping - on top of all the reliable early hunger cues disappearing. It's either "argh get that boob away from me" or "MILK NOW OR ELSE" hangriness. So once that started, after the first few containers spilled, I filed that idea away under "welp, it worked and now it doesn't". Oodles posted:And the comment about a gamut of feeding styles, that’s normal. It’s to do with development cycles and the like. You’ll find lots of cluster feeds just prior to a growth stage. It was yesterday. It explained a lot.
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Oct 19, 2017 13:14
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Leng posted:I used to try and catch it with a milk container, which worked during the 2-3 month period. Since then, she's discovered that she has limbs and pretty much spends most of her time flailing and flapping - on top of all the reliable early hunger cues disappearing. It's either "argh get that boob away from me" or "MILK NOW OR ELSE" hangriness. So once that started, after the first few containers spilled, I filed that idea away under "welp, it worked and now it doesn't". When you were trying to catch the milk, were you using a cup, or one of these Milkie things? It slips into your bra too, so again, harder to kick out of place. Doesn't work for me anymore now that my supply has toned down, but if there is significant leakage from the non-feeding boob, it might work for you. Also, still may not be worth it if you think you are nearing the end of pumping, but the Freemie system does come in a manual version--same cup goes in your bra, and a tube leads to the hand-pump part.
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Oct 19, 2017 14:42
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I could really use some sleep training/sleep association help! One of our 1 year old twins has picked up the habit of waking up 1-2x per night. It's happened every night for the last 1.5 - 2 months. Before that, they were both wonderful sleepers and nappers. We only had to do minimal sleep training (i think we did 3 days of Ferber's schedule for this baby) and he goes to sleep/takes naps without any problems or negative sleep associations - just put him down in the crib, say good night, and we're done. I think we started creating a negative sleep association for him - we were so surprised by the wakeups and he was doing his "i'm starving" cry so we thought he was hungry so we started giving him a bottle. Now, giving him a bottle is the only way to get him to go back to sleep. We've started reducing the amount of milk in the bottle and we're down to 2oz, which still works so I know it's not actually a hunger thing. He doesn't take the bottle in the crib either, we have to pick him up and put him elsewhere - so i think there are multiple components of this that we have to break down. My question is, how do we go the rest of the way? I was going to go down to an ounce tonight, and then maybe try switching from an ounce of milk to an ounce of water after that, but not sure how to go from "something" to "nothing." Also, we wanted to re-commit to doing the Ferber graduated extinction method (Day one, 3 minutes, then 5 minutes, then 10, etc.) Does it make sense to remove the bottle association first? Last night we tried doing the graduated extinction, THEN the bottle after a bunch of cycles, but I realized that it's probably just reinforcing the bottle as a sleep association if he gets it after he screams for it for 45 minutes. Did a ton of research but I'm also just so loving tired so please just tell me what to do to make this problem go away.
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Oct 19, 2017 14:52
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Hello, I'm a new dad and my one month old was recently diagnosed with a mild case of jaundice. The doctors aren't sure exactly what's causing it but it's a higher level than it would be if it was just from the breastmilk, but not so high that phototherapy is being recommended. He has to go in tomorrow (whenever the hospital gets around to calling me so we can schedule the appointment  ) for a liver biopsy and spend the night. I'm a little worried for him and would love to hear from people with jaundicy kiddos who got better. We only have one set of friends with a kid so I'm kind of floating in a sea of WedMD articles that end with "liver transplant" or "life-long medication."e: I don't know if one-month falls under the newborn category and if I should take my question to the pregnancy thread. He's doing alright for an infant aside from being in the 9th percentile for his weight and this yellowing issue; he's just starting to fall asleep in a crib instead of needing to be held.
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Oct 19, 2017 15:20
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Leng posted:Until I read this I did not think of it that way. Ugh. So...how are you guys actually juggling the twins? Do they feed at the same time or do you do one baby at a time and they take turns? At night they feed at the same time otherwise we'd get no sleep, it's not easy at first but you learn how to do it. We have a GIANT nursing pillow called the my breast friend twins deluxe or something equally ridiculous. It's huge and amazing and there is no way we would have been able to do it with just a regular nursing pillow. She has to do the double football hold and since it's hard for her to reach correctly I have to help and sometime pull the chin of the baby, help push his head in position, pinch her boob, etc. Then I have to fill the bottles and insert the catheters into their mouth and make sure they are getting some milk. Then clean the stupid bottle and tubes for the next feeding two hours later since we feed them roughly every three hours and from the moment we start changing them to the moment they are back in their bed takes roughly an hour. During the day she alternates between one at a time and both at the same time depending on how she feels. It might seem like a lot but it was actually harder with our first son because he fed for a full hour every two hours and could not sleep more than 15 minutes alone so we had to carry him constantly. I don't know how my girlfriend manages to deal with that. I know I wouldn't have the patience and would be doing formula with pretty much anything else than a perfect feeder. nyerf posted:. I'm not even sure I'd have the where withal to manage a Supplementary Nursing System(the tiny tube taped to your nipple that adds extra milk to when bub tries to breastfeed directly). Thanks for the English name. That's what we are using right now and it's even more annoying than it seems at first!
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Oct 19, 2017 15:20
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Hey all. New to the thread, so I apologize if this has been addressed 5,000 times. I'm also not sure if this should be here or in the pregnancy one... hopefully I picked the right place! So, my husband and I are talking about taking the plunge and makin' a baby in a couple years, preferably when I turn 30 (just cause, no real special reason for the number).  The problem is that I'm just... SUPER nervous about it. There's excitement, and I think it'll be a great thing, but I don't quite feel ready yet mentally.Here's the "big whoop": I have clinical depression - the formal name is "major recurrent depression" - and will pretty much always be medicated. I can get through the pregnancy without my meds, I'm sure; I didn't even manage to get on them until pretty late compared to when my depression developed. I'm a tough cookie. I'm just super worried about being a lovely, sad mom early on, or having my bad stupid brain make me so stressed out that I hate life for the duration of the kid's infancy. Any advice from fellow moms with depression/anxiety? Any materials you'd recommend reading to help prepare myself mentally? All of my worries seem focused on the first year, losing sleep, how to manage ongoing depression while dealing with a new baby. I don't know if postpartum depression is much different than regular ol' sad brains, if it matters. Thanks in advance! A Spider Covets fucked around with this message at 15:25 on Oct 19, 2017 |
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Oct 19, 2017 15:21
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E-Money posted:I could really use some sleep training/sleep association help! Are the two of them in the same room? As just leaving them to cry might interrupt the other ones sleep. We just broke night feeds last week, and I (dad) went through and just put my hand on her back to get her to go back to sleep, then for the second wake up I cuddled her a bit. Yea, personally I’d break the drinking during the night first. Then you can deal with the self settling, but really depends if there is another baby in the room to not disturb.
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Oct 19, 2017 15:47
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Oodles posted:Are the two of them in the same room? As just leaving them to cry might interrupt the other ones sleep. Nope - twins are magic. They don't wake each other up at all. Not a problem.
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Oct 19, 2017 15:52
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A Spider Covets posted:Hey all. New to the thread, so I apologize if this has been addressed 5,000 times. I'm also not sure if this should be here or in the pregnancy one... hopefully I picked the right place! You have a psychiatrist I assume? Talk with them about this. My wife was on wellbutrin + zoloft for depression and anxiety, and our psych was worried enough about wellbutrin in pregnancy to take her off, but she kept on the Zoloft throughout pregnancy and nursing. A well established drug with enough history is better than you going loving crazy. Babies are one of the most mentally trying things for the most mentally healthy of people. If you aren't already doing regular therapy, you can start it when pregnancy starts as a sort of preventative measure. There is nothing bad about extra therapy.
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Oct 19, 2017 16:13
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Chin Strap posted:You have a psychiatrist I assume? Talk with them about this. My wife was on wellbutrin + zoloft for depression and anxiety, and our psych was worried enough about wellbutrin in pregnancy to take her off, but she kept on the Zoloft throughout pregnancy and nursing. Absolutely, yeah. I got properly diagnosed when I was around 20, I'm 28 now, and have kept up with therapy and medication. I'm a huge supporter of getting people with depression into doctors' offices and maintaining regular appointments. Welbutrin is actually one I just stopped taking, I'm about to go in and get reevaluated for new meds soon since I've been on my current one a long time. And on that note, I'll ask about Zoloft when I go in, thank you! I didn't think there was any kind of medication you could even take during pregnancy, they all seem to have horrible side effects like limbs not growing. If you don't mind my asking, how old is your kid now? Did your wife find anything particular to help manage sleep deprivation in the first few months? A Spider Covets fucked around with this message at 16:40 on Oct 19, 2017 |
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Oct 19, 2017 16:36
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