inflatablefish posted:

We are so far beyond that right now. Go talk to an exorcist, or preferably the Ghostbusters.

quote:

BGM: Okay, Everyone! (Monika)





BGM: Okay, Everyone!


: “So...what do you think?"

: “Hmm...it's very...freeform, if that's what you call it. Sorry, I'm not really the right person to ask for feedback..."

: “Ahaha. It's okay. Yeah, that kind of style has gotten pretty popular nowadays. That is, a lot of poems have been putting emphasis on the timing between words and lines. When performed out loud, it can be really powerful."

: “What was the inspiration behind this one?"

: “Ah...well, I'm not sure if I know how to put it..."



: “It's been influencing my poems a bit."

: “An epiphany?"

: “Yeah...something like that. I'm kind of nervous to talk about deep stuff like that, because it's kind of coming on strongly...maybe after everyone is better friends with each other. Anyway..."

: “Here's Monika's Writing Tip of the Day!"

: “Sometimes when you're writing a poem - or a story - your brain gets too fixated on a specific point...if you try so hard to make it perfect, then you'll never make any progress. Just force yourself to get something down on the paper, and tidy it up later! Another way to think about it is this: If you keep your pen in the same spot for too long, you'll just get a big dark puddle of ink. So just move your hand, and go with the flow!"

: “...That's my advice for today!"

quote:

BGM: Okay, Everyone! (Natsuki)



BGM: Okay, Everyone!

: “Yeah...I told you that you weren't gonna like it."

: “I like it."

: “What? Just be honest!"

: “I am. Why are you so convinced that I wouldn't like it?"

: “Well--because!"



: “So people don't even take my writing seriously."

: “But isn't the point of poems for people to express themselves? Your writing style wouldn't make your message any less valid."

: “Yes! Exactly! I like when it's easy to read, but it hits you hard. Like in this poem. Seeing everyone around you do great things can be really disheartening...so I decided to write about it."

: “Yeah, I understand."

: “But the other nice thing about simple writing is that it puts more weight on the wordplay. Like I set up for a rhyme at the end, but then made it fall flat on purpose. It helps bring out the feeling in the last line."

: “So you did...I guess more went into it than I realized."

: “That's what it means to be a pro!"



: “Didn't expect that from the youngest one here, did you?"

: “Yeah...guess not."

I decide to humor her with that last comment. I don't really care how old everyone is, but if Natsuki is feeling proud then I won't take that away from her.

quote:

: “And having been through that myself, I kind of learned to pick up on them. I think the most noticeable thing I recognize in new writers is that they try to make their style very deliberate. In other words, they tend to pick a writing style separate from the topic matter, and they form-fit the two together. The end result is that both the style and the expressiveness are weakened."

Once Yuri finds her train of thought, it's as if her demeanor totally changes. Her stammering is completely gone, and she sounds like an expert.



: “There are so many different skills and techniques that go into writing even a simple poem. Not just finding them and building them, but getting them to work together is probably the most challenging part. It might take you some time, but it all comes with practice, and learning by example, and trying new things. I also hope that everyone else in the club gives you valuable feedback."

: “Natsuki can be a little bit biased, though..."

: “Biased? How?"

: “U-Um...well...never mind. I shouldn't be talking about people like that...sorry..."

: “It's fine."

I'm not sure if Yuri is apologizing to herself, to me, or to Natsuki.

: “Do you mind if I read your poem now?"

: “Please do! I'd love to share my thought process behind it..."

BGM: Okay, Everyone! (Yuri)



BGM: Okay, Everyone!

: “...I'm sorry I have such terrible handwriting!"

: “What?? I wasn't thinking that at all..."

: “But it took you a long time to read..."

: “Ah--well, I just don't read script very often...I actually think your handwriting is pretty."

: “Eh? That's...a relief..."

: “Also, I liked the poem. Even though it's short, it was really descriptive."



: “I usually write longer poems..."

: “Not at all."

: “I'm...really glad you like it. I'll be honest...since it's our first time sharing, I wanted to write something a little more mild. Something easy to digest, I suppose."

: “Are you into ghosts, Yuri?"

: “Huhu. Actually, the story isn't about a ghost at all, Mitayo."

: “Really? I must have totally missed the point..."

: “Well, I suppose you did only glance over it, after all...but remember that poets often express their own thoughts, feelings, and experiences in their work. They usually do more than tell a simple story, or paint a picture. In this case, perhaps the subject of the poem is only being symbolically compared to a ghost. Lingering in her last remaining place of comfort, unable to let go of the past. And soon to be left with nothing..."

: “...That's a lot more solemn, putting it that way. I hadn't even thought of that...that's impressive."

: “Eh? I-It's nothing, really! Yours was impressive too, so..."

: “Nah...if anything, I could probably learn a thing or two from you."

: “...You think so?"

: “Yeah, of course."

: “Ah...you know..."



: “But in the end, I enjoyed it. I'm going to keep doing my best for you, Mitayo."

: “Ah...me too."

: “It's nothing, really...well...it makes me happy that you think that. Just remember that it won't be long before you pick up on these things, too."

: “Yeah, maybe you're right. I guess I'll have to keep trying."

: “I'm counting on you."

quote:

: “Eh? Um...did you say something?"

: “Oh, it's nothing."

Natsuki dismissively returns the poem to the desk with one hand.

: “I guess you could say it's fancy."

: “Ah-- Thanks..."



: “Cute? Did you completely miss the symbolism or something? It's clearly about the feeling of giving up. How can that be cute?"

: “I-I know that! I just meant...the language, I guess. I was trying to say something nice..."

: “Eh? You mean you have to try that hard to come up with something nice to say? Thanks, but it really didn't come out nice at all!"

: “Um..."



: “Hmph. If I was looking for suggestions, I would have asked someone who actually liked it. Which people did, by the way. Mitayo did, too! So based on that, I'll gladly give you some suggestions of my own. First of all--"

: “Excuse me...I appreciate the offer, but I've spent a long time establishing my writing style. I don't expect it to change anytime soon, unless of course I come across something particularly inspiring. Which I haven't yet."



: “And Mitayo liked my poem too, you know. He even told me he was impressed by it."

Natsuki suddenly stands up.

: “Oh? I didn't realize you were so invested in trying to impress our new member, Yuri."

BGM: Poem Panic!

: “E-Eh?! That's not what I...! Uu, you...You're just..."

Yuri stands up as well.



: “Huh! And how do you know he didn't appreciate my advice more?" Are you that full of yourself?"

: “I...! No...if I was full of myself...I would deliberately go out of my way to make everything I do overly cutesy!"

: “Uuuuuu...!"

: “Well, you know what?! I wasn't the one whose boobs magically grew a size bigger as soon as Mitayo started showing up!!"

: “N-Natsuki!!"

: “Um, Natsuki, that's a little--"

quote:

GROUP A
Happiness, sadness, death, tragedy, alone, love, adventure, sweet, excitement, fireworks, romance, tears, depression, heart, marriage, passion, childhood, fun, color, hope, friends, family, party, vacation, lazy, daydream, pain, holiday, bed, feather, shame, fear, warm, flower, comfort, dance, sing, cry, laugh, dark, sunny, raincloud, calm, silly, flying, wonderful, unrequited, rose, together, promise, charm, beauty, cheer, smile, broken, precious, prayer, clumsy, forgive, nature, ocean, dazzle, special, music, lucky, misfortune, loud, peaceful, joy, sunset, fireflies, rainbow, hurt, play, sparkle, scars, empty, amazing, grief, embrace, extraordinary, awesome, defeat, hopeless, misery, treasure, bliss, memories

GROUP B
Cute, fluffy, pure, candy, shopping, puppy, kitty, clouds, lipstick, parfait, strawberry, pink, chocolate, heartbeat, kiss, melody, ribbon, jumpy, doki-doki, kawaii, skirt, cheeks, email, sticky, bouncy, shiny, nibble, fantasy, sugar, giggle, marshmallow, hop, skipping, peace, spinning, twirl, lollipop, poof, bubbles, whisper, summer, waterfall, swimsuit, vanilla, headphones, games, socks, hair, playground, nightgown, blanket, milk, pout, anger, papa, valentine, mouse, whistle, boop, bunny, anime, jump

GROUP C
Determination, suicide, imagination, secretive, vitality, existence, effulgent, crimson, whirlwind, afterimage, vertigo, disoriented, essence, ambient, starscape, disarray, contamination, intellectual, analysis, entropy, vivacious, uncanny, incongruent, wrath, heavensent, massacre, philosophy, fickle, tenacious, aura, unstable, inferno, incapable, destiny, infallible, agonizing, variance, uncontrollable, extreme, flee, dream, disaster, vivid, vibrant, question, fester, judgment, cage, explode, pleasure, lust, sensation, climax, electricity, disown, despise, infinite, eternity, time, universe, unending, raindrops, covet, unrestrained, landscape, portrait, journey, meager, anxiety, frightening, horror, melancholy, insight, atone, breathe, captive, desire, graveyard

Roar posted:

: “Hey, Mitayo...why don't we step outside for a little bit? Okay?"

Roar posted:

The only sad part about us not going with Yuri this route is that the book Yuri gives us is DRASTICALLY different. We'll go over that in a future update.

King of Bleh posted:

Looks like some rascal posted a flier over the classroom calendar!

Ayndin posted:

Also, the quoted text when Yuri and Natsuki start talking mentions Sayori (when Natsuki is saying who liked her poem) - I checked the video and it actually doesn't do that. Figured it was worth checking as a potential glitch or something.

Ayndin posted:

If Monika doesn't turn out to be some sort of sociopath/serial killer/Lovecraftian horror, I'll be pretty surprised.

Otherwise, I'm not totally sure about Japanese attitudes towards providing for your teenage kids - I know that there is some degree of 'if you want extra pocket money get a part time job' - but I'm reasonably sure that neither keeping food in the house nor giving them money for it would be construed as abuse? Wondering if that comes up on the pre-Sayori run, and if people seem more concerned about it there, because the 'oh lol her father doesn't feed her ever' reaction we see here speaks volumes towards how the members here don't really care much about each other this time around if so.

Roar posted:

: “This is just a guess, but I think she's so small because her malnutrition is interfering with her adolescent growth...But hey, some guys are into petite girls too, you know? Sorry...just trying to look at the bright side!"

Double Punctuation posted:

When Yuri glitches at the end, Monika starts smiling.

King of Bleh posted:

Looks like some hanger-on posted a flier over the classroom calendar!

King of Bleh posted:

Looks like some rascal posted a flier over the classroom calendar!

Roar posted:

TurkeyFried posted:

I just finished page 5 of this and am excited to see how Sayori gets help and things get better for all of them

quote:

quote:

I quickly retrieve the book that I had put into my bag.

: “Alright...it's fine if I sit here, right?"

I slip into the seat next to Yuri's.

: “Ah...! Yeah..."

: “Are you sure? You seem a little apprehensive..."

: “That's...I'm sorry...it's not that I don't want you to! It's just something I'm not very used to...that is, reading in company with someone."

: “I see...well, just tell me if I end up distracting you or anything."

: “A-Alright..."

I open the book and start the prologue. I soon understand what Yuri means about reading in company. It's as if I can feel her presence over my shoulder as I read. It's not a particularly bad thing. Maybe a little distracting, but the feeling is somewhat comforting. Yuri is in the corner of my eye. I realize that she's not actually looking at her own book. I glance over.

quote:

: “Yuri, you really apologize a lot, don't you?"

: “I...I do? I don't really mean to..."

: “Sorry...I mean--!"

: “Ahaha. Here, this should work, right?"

I slide my desk until it's up against Yuri's, then hold my book more between the two of them.



: “Ah...I suppose so..."

Yuri timidly closes her own copy. Once we each lean in a little bit, our shoulders are almost touching. It feels like my left arm is in the way, so instead I use my right hand to hold the book open.

: “Ah, I guess that makes it kind of difficult to turn the page..."

: “Here..."

Yuri takes her left arm and holds the left side of the book between her thumb and forefinger.

: “Ah..."

I do the same with my right arm, on the right side of the book. That way, I turn a page, and Yuri slides it under her thumb after it flips to her side. But in holding it like this...we're huddled even closer together than before.

It's actually kind of distracting me...! It's as if I can feel the warmth of Yuri's face, and she's in the corner of my vision...

: “...Are you ready?"

: “Eh?"

: “To turn the page..."

: “Ah...sorry! I think I got a bit distracted for a second..."

I glance over at Yuri's face again, and our eyes meet. I don't know how I'll be able to keep up with her...

: “Ah...that's okay. You're not as used to reading, right?”



: “It's probably the least I can do since you've been so patient with me..."

: “Y-Yeah...thanks."

We continue reading. Yuri no longer asks me if I'm ready to turn the page; instead, I just assume that she finishes the page before me, so I turn it by my own volition. We continue the first chapter in silence. Even so, turning each page almost feels like an intimate exchange... my thumb gently letting go of the page, letting it flutter over to her side as she catches it under her own thumb.

Roar posted:

...yet...not the same book...at all.

TheGreatEvilKing posted:

...Is everyone nuts?

That crimson eye motif definitely appeared with Yuri before (her first poem IIRC was "in the shadow of the crimson eye" or something) but wow, uh, she's realllly into it.

Is there an actual allusion I'm missing besides Lord of the Rings?

quote: