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"Say you wanna gently caress me." I want to...have sex with you? "No, say you wanna gently caress me!" I want to...gently caress you.
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Oct 30, 2017 01:09
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Now pull down your pants and stab me with that Shrinky-Dink.
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Oct 30, 2017 01:33
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...don't you have sound check?
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Oct 30, 2017 01:43
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Try to think of a less sexual person.
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Oct 30, 2017 02:07
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GenoCanSing posted:He, a man who is incapable of moving a laptop or crawling on to a toilet unassisted, threatened to anally rape a fully sized healthy adult female grammy award winning country superstar. Over the assertion that whores might not be in love with him. This description of the situation made me laugh out loud, because you're right. There was absolutely no part of that threat he could conceivably make good on, and he was 100% in the wrong on all levels. Crotch Bat posted:The rape stuff was too lightly played and very hosed up because it wasn't anything even approaching a bit, he was spewing venom when he said those words. That's a good point, but I still laughed really hard because the threat was so woefully impotent.
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Oct 30, 2017 02:13
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I liked ETM on the show because his career can be summed up as: "Hey, watch this physically and emotionally stunted vile human being with a 90 IQ be handed the media world on a silver platter and make absolutely every wrong decision a person can possibly make."
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Oct 30, 2017 02:22
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Man the best part was when he was first telling Howard about how he wanted to date one of the American Idol people and Howard said, so you want to have sex with her and he acted all indignant and said, "Stern! That would be up to her, I just want to date her." He really was delusional
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Oct 30, 2017 03:22
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Eric's parents were relieved when he died and no one will ever convince me otherwise
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Oct 30, 2017 03:28
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Crotch Bat posted:I liked ETM on the show because his career can be summed up as: "Hey, watch this physically and emotionally stunted vile human being with a 90 IQ be handed the media world on a silver platter and make absolutely every wrong decision a person can possibly make." The email about the "Pepsah-Colas" might be my favourite. "I just want to square things with my lawyer." haljordan posted:Eric's parents were relieved when he died and no one will ever convince me otherwise They probably saw much different Eric than we did. Also  3/11
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Oct 30, 2017 04:36
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Rupert Buttermilk posted:Also https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zQdR3AIhg-c
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Oct 30, 2017 04:46
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Crotch Bat posted:I liked ETM on the show because his career can be summed up as: "Hey, watch this physically and emotionally stunted vile human being with a 90 IQ be handed the media world on a silver platter and make absolutely every wrong decision a person can possibly make." He was all this and so, so much less.
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Oct 30, 2017 06:06
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Donald the Trump is exactly the same and has exactly zero physical disabilities to use as an excuse and yet...
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Oct 30, 2017 07:03
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I'm one of the few that always loathed the ETM segments. Dude was just impossibly annoying to listen to, which I know is the point, but he just grated on me. Like that Scott Farrell dude that does that sportstalk show. My least favorite wack packer. Less ETM more Bigfoot, Hank, Kenneth Keith and Beetle.
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Oct 30, 2017 12:15
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BiggerBoat posted:I'm one of the few that always loathed the ETM segments. Dude was just impossibly annoying to listen to, which I know is the point, but he just grated on me. Like that Scott Farrell dude that does that sportstalk show. I definitely get that, but unlike Farrell, I'm drawn to ETA because sometimes I do mental gymnastics in trying to figure out how can he possibly think that way/think that's a good idea  Like, he says that he graduated and was really good at math, but then they ask him 9 x 8 or something, and he'll start complaining about how he doesn't like to do math so early on in the day, and that he just woke up. One of my favourite lines was, and maybe it was Artie, 'Could you tell us what time of the day you'll know the answer?" He just absolutely refused to see that, hey, he's pretty dumb. Sure, he knows some historical facts which makes him seem smart compared to Sal (and Sal's lack of knowledge is a whoooooooole other thing  ), but you put the evidence RIGHT THERE IN FRONT OF HIM (Eric, you're in your 30s, and you don't know what 9 x 8 is? You can't answer that almost immediately? AND YOU WANT TO RUN A MODELING AGENCY?!) and he just can't get it.I loved it when they pretended to not hear him, but even more, I love that time when he was going on and on about Hayden Porter, and then Howard obviously is just telling him what he wants to hear and he STILL doesn't get it... I don't know, man, EtA was the grumpy gift that kept on giving. Almost everything he said was a verbal trainwreck, that's the best way I can describe it. I keep listening, because I can't turn away.
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Oct 30, 2017 13:42
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BiggerBoat posted:I'm one of the few that always loathed the ETM segments. Dude was just impossibly annoying to listen to, which I know is the point, but he just grated on me. Like that Scott Farrell dude that does that sportstalk show. Him talking over Johnny while Fratto was trying to plug some lovely strip club was the radio equivalent of the Holocaust
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Oct 30, 2017 13:56
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Rupert Buttermilk posted:Didn't the show give him either Degarmo or McPhee's phone number at one point? I remember Gary telling Howard later, on-air, "we told him to call once" or something like that. I like how they were chastising Eric for being a creep, meanwhile, they were giving out the phone number for a female celebrity to some weirdo fan.
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Oct 30, 2017 14:40
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Rupert Buttermilk posted:I love that time when he was going on and on about Hayden Porter, and then Howard obviously is just telling him what he wants to hear and he STILL doesn't get it... GenoCanSing posted:- Eric saw a reality show on TV called "Three Wishes", and one of the participants was a 19 year old girl Eric found attractive. He then used to clues the show haphazardly gave out to send the girl gifts and messages until he was visited by police and told to stop. When this was brought up on the show, Eric's defense was "The show didn't do that good of a job concealing her identity." I can't place either of these. Any links to the segments of each perhaps?
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Oct 30, 2017 14:53
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Rupert Buttermilk posted:You're likely right. waaaaah, my son was almost retarded, waaaah
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Oct 30, 2017 15:37
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Heard another example on Sternthology. ETM allegidly stole Johnny's credit card number for use at the Bunny Ranch. When questioned, Johnny "pled the fifth."
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Oct 30, 2017 16:09
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Lifespan posted:Heard another example on Sternthology. ETM allegidly stole Johnny's credit card number for use at the Bunny Ranch. When questioned, Johnny "pled the fifth." Well it's only fair since Johnny never paid Eric's $4,000 bill from when he went on that one trip
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Oct 30, 2017 16:12
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haljordan posted:Well it's only fair since Johnny never paid Eric's $4,000 bill from when he went on that one trip He NEEDED that P.T. Cruiser
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Oct 30, 2017 16:30
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Wasn't there some sort of weird excuse about the rental car rate being so high because the car was blue? Maybe I'm misremembering. Gotta go through my Eric clips again.
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Oct 30, 2017 17:44
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Nope, that was it. He wanted the blue one.
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Oct 30, 2017 17:48
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Rupert Buttermilk posted:I loved it when they pretended to not hear him, "OK, Eric, we can't hear you, we're going to hang up in three... two.. o--" "HEY STUPID IDIOT I'M RIGHT HERE" Rupert Buttermilk posted:but even more, I love that time when he was going on and on about Hayden Porter Wasn't his "dirt" that she liked Star Wars? Everybody likes Star Wars. It's like sandwiches.
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Oct 30, 2017 18:52
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Sand Monster posted:I can't place either of these. Any links to the segments of each perhaps? Neither of those were segments, the first was just him trying to tattle on Hayden because she said something about him and Howard wasn't remotely interested so it ended in 30 seconds. The latter lasted a few minutes but nothing much came of it outside of some light fun at his expense. I *think* the latter happened when they were talking about him calling DeGuarmo too much and someone told Gary the info and he piped up and mentioned it. If you have Eric collections they're both in the Artie years on satellite but I'd just keep an ear out because they don't really exist as their own things you'll easily find on Youtube. ChaosMonkey posted:
Yea, he thought he was outing her as a nerd or something. It was lame and Howard correctly decided to move past it quickly.
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Oct 30, 2017 18:53
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Crotch Bat posted:Yea, he thought he was outing her as a nerd or something. It was lame and Howard correctly decided to move past it quickly. Exactly, but when he finally gave in with the whole "OHHHHH, Hayden PORTER..... of COURSE, wow, Eric, yeah, you TOTALLY showed her!", Eric didn't even bat an eye. Also, I'll never not laugh at ClubFootloose.
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Oct 30, 2017 19:15
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Where has this been all my life? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JBoUG0PqVfg
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Oct 30, 2017 19:20
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His exact words were "That bitch needs to be told on". When I said tattle I meant it, he called in to tattle on her because he felt slighted by something she said. He had to be emotionally 12 his whole life. Remember how he cursed with no real idea how to inject them into a sentence to keep the flow normal?
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Oct 30, 2017 19:22
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haljordan posted:Eric's parents were relieved when he died and no one will ever convince me otherwise I'm not entirely convinced they didn't have something to do with it. 39 years of Eric would send someone to a very, very dark place. Plus the Stern show was a double edged sword for them. On one hand, it gave him something to keep himself occupied and build a following online, but on the other hand, it basically dragged the entire family through the mud repeatedly for years.
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Oct 30, 2017 19:42
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Bonzo posted:Where has this been all my life? This is loving hilarious. The Gilbert Dice Clay laugh! Gilbert was on Doug Loves Movies a couple weeks ago and when Ford Fairlane came up Gilbert spent like ten minutes just doing the Dice voice. I was listening to this on the bus and could barely keep myself together. In My Butt is the Eric song that always gets in my head.
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Oct 30, 2017 19:49
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Crotch Bat posted:His exact words were "That bitch needs to be told on". When I said tattle I meant it, he called in to tattle on her because he felt slighted by something she said. "I'm not giving that SHIThead credit for poo poo!"
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Oct 30, 2017 20:29
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BobbyK posted:"I'm not giving that SHIThead credit for poo poo!" "I want you to FIRE his lovely rear end!" Not even referring to Tim! 
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Oct 30, 2017 20:34
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Oct 30, 2017 21:08
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BiggerBoat posted:I'm one of the few that always loathed the ETM segments. Dude was just impossibly annoying to listen to, which I know is the point, but he just grated on me. Like that Scott Farrell dude that does that sportstalk show. I didn't loathe them, because some of the greatest moments came from them (zero point zero, Artie saying "Alright seeya buddy," etc), but he does become rather grating in large quantities. I usually tap out of the 4 hour long comps on Youtube with ETM, whereas the ones with Hank I could listen to forever as he's my favorite wack packer of all time.
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Oct 30, 2017 21:17
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Artie: "Haven't you always wanted to come to New York and see the bottom two feet of every building?" oh cool the "edgy" "fun" chick, awesome.
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Oct 30, 2017 21:37
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What are some good segments involving Hank? I never got into him but I need something new to listen to as I do my Halloween play through of Resident Evil 4
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Oct 30, 2017 21:58
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BobbyK posted:What are some good segments involving Hank? I never got into him but I need something new to listen to as I do my Halloween play through of Resident Evil 4 - Rock n' Roll trivias (vs Gary, Mark McGrath, and John the Stutterer, search for Angry Black vs Cabbie boxing for that one it was the prelude) - vs Beet - giving the finger to David Blaine - first time he was on the show (very drunk, very racist) - vs breathalyzer tests A lot of stuff is hard to categorize and was mostly him just arguing with various Wack Packers or callers like other midgets and John the Stutterer but it's all easily found on Youtube.
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Oct 30, 2017 22:04
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BobbyK posted:What are some good segments involving Hank? I never got into him but I need something new to listen to as I do my Halloween play through of Resident Evil 4 The absolute best, in my opinion, is where he beat Gary at rock trivia and then passed out drunk. "GO HAVE SEX WITH YA MUTHA" Just do "Hank vs Gary" on Youtube.
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Oct 30, 2017 22:11
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BobbyK posted:What are some good segments involving Hank? I never got into him but I need something new to listen to as I do my Halloween play through of Resident Evil 4 I just want to say gently caress yeah to a playthrough of one of the greatest games ever made  
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Oct 30, 2017 22:51
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https://twitter.com/artiequitter/status/925036668276666368 Artie's nose is taking on a life of it's own.
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Oct 31, 2017 01:29
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