|
Antivehicular posted:"Ignore responsibilities and drink day" seems like the last kind of day you need right now bro I skated down to supie and got loads of candy and sat out on drive way for hour but I think I was too late. not a single candy given
|
#
?
Oct 31, 2017 14:40
|
|
|
|
| # ? May 11, 2024 17:28 |
|
|
Antivehicular posted:"Ignore responsibilities and drink day" seems like the last kind of day you need right now aka Tuesday
|
|
#
?
Oct 31, 2017 22:54
|
|
|
Lutha Mahtin posted:please get help echi This, only unironically. 
|
|
#
?
Oct 31, 2017 23:36
|
|
|
no i'm totally serious, and genuine. i have family and friends who have struggled with mental health and addiction, and i know couples close to me who divorced for similar reasons of untreated health issues and inability to communicate. i don't know echi's whole situation obviously but in my experience it is totally possible to salvage a whole lot more than you might first think. the difficult part is that this would involve some very brutal introspection on echi's part i have had my own struggles in my life, and yes none of mine have involved a long-term spouse or children, but moving past difficult things in one's mental/emotional/etc life is possible. and it's good. trust me
|
|
#
?
Oct 31, 2017 23:51
|
|
|
my sad brains has improved massively since moving upstairs to be honest.. bit of ignorance is bliss in a way. when I think about the breakdown of the marriage it's very sad and can make me start to go down a hill, so I do what I can to avoid it. I am a total piece of poo poo etc etc for all the hurt I have caused my wife, that is harder on her than me but I don't just walk away from it with a calm conscience, the more I think about it the more I hate myself. it's a poo poo time, but it's a positive direction. my wife will never truly understand why it's happened. I've tried my best to explain it to her but end of the day we both have our subjective experiences and memories of the marriage
|
|
#
?
Nov 1, 2017 01:24
|
|
|
e: woops ok. I'll instead leave you with this, Echi, have you ever listened to the verses of this song? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vLom-87AmO8 Quick straw poll. Is the song, in your opinion, about 1) Cheating 2) Role Playing 3) An Open Marriage (with the bonus of a discovery that leads to renewed love) KoRMaK fucked around with this message at 15:34 on Nov 1, 2017 |
|
#
?
Nov 1, 2017 05:33
|
|
|
KoRMaK posted:Quoting from the tindr.jpg thread because I too have a failing/failed/rebuilding? relationship, and that poo poo seems relevant and maybe important to share for others. Take this to the Break-Up Thread, this one is specifically about Echi's open marriage. Edit: Echi, get help. You need one-on-one therapy that focuses on you: the drinking, the apathy, the learned helplessness, the self-loathing, the way you try to wave everything off as No Big Deal. Also, your kids might seem unfazed, but that doesn't mean they're unaffected. Bobbie Wickham fucked around with this message at 15:51 on Nov 1, 2017 |
|
#
?
Nov 1, 2017 15:23
|
|
|
Whatever effect this is having on Echi's kids won't come out until they're more or less adults. I hope the fallout isn't too bad but judging from how Echi insists on presenting this "I don't care about anything" attitude I wouldn't bet on it. Do the kids know that you love them still Echi?
|
|
#
?
Nov 1, 2017 20:01
|
|
|
Echi, you sound like my dad, who also is an addict. Please get help so that your kids don't have to deal with a father who has the mental capacity of a adolescent teenager. They know you are sick, they may not be able to articulate it, but it is affecting them.
|
|
#
?
Nov 1, 2017 20:28
|
|
|
Mappo posted:Echi, you sound like my dad, who also is an addict. Please get help so that your kids don't have to deal with a father who has the mental capacity of a adolescent teenager. They know you are sick, they may not be able to articulate it, but it is affecting them. I'm curious here, what your Dad's addiction looks like? KoRMaK posted:e: woops ok. HIJK posted:Whatever effect this is having on Echi's kids won't come out until they're more or less adults. I hope the fallout isn't too bad but judging from how Echi insists on presenting this "I don't care about anything" attitude I wouldn't bet on it. Do the kids know that you love them still Echi?
|
|
#
?
Nov 1, 2017 22:16
|
|
|
HIJK posted:Whatever effect this is having on Echi's kids won't come out until they're more or less adults. That's right, I forgot that children NEVER act out, and that upsetting/traumatic events don't have a negative effect on people until they're at least 18. Stupid.
|
|
#
?
Nov 1, 2017 23:45
|
|
|
There is definitely a factor where separated parents are normal at school and that the kids don't have massive preconceptions about what is right or wrong. They are 6&8 and very much into what they are into (soccer and minecraft respectively) and naively so, those are their interests, they're not old enough to be spending time contemplating relationships. I think what will happen is as they get older they will begin to resent me and my decisions, but hopefully they won't see it so black and white either. Like other's have pointed out, if things were so good then why did we have the open marriage in the first place? I mean that's what the evidence points to, although I still find it hard to believe at the time we were bad. Maybe too comfortable. Too trusting. Just being careless. Too much YOLO. Like a spoiled child who doesn't realise how good it he has it when his parents give him a supercharged mercedes as their first car.
|
|
#
?
Nov 1, 2017 23:58
|
|
|
I mean, I'm not saying that a parents' divorce is the worst thing that could happen to a kid, and I firmly believe that a civil divorce is much better than a terrible marriage. But it's still upsetting, or I imagine it will be once you move out. It's still a major upheaval. It still requires that you pay attention and care to your children while you go through the divorce. You're pretty sure that your kids are going to resent you when they're older--why?
|
|
#
?
Nov 2, 2017 02:03
|
|
|
while I am still have come around to it 100%, am slowly accepting that perhaps the open relationship destroyed us. and I look back at my wife and how she dealt with it at the time and IMO she had the correct mindset. she was there to have fun and the moment it was "more" or "less" than fun, she wanted out. But I, got much more carried away, and I let it change me. small crossings of boundaries set the scene for larger scale disrespect for my wife, a slippery slope. and so I imagine, my children are going to view me as the instigator of the separation, the person that screwed over their mother. hopefully as life trucks on they see the nuances of what happened and what didn't and how it wasn't black and white. I hope they see two parents who are both happy, and that they still become the best of both of us.
|
|
#
?
Nov 2, 2017 02:12
|
|
|
echinopsis posted:while I am still have come around to it 100%, am slowly accepting that perhaps the open relationship destroyed us. and I look back at my wife and how she dealt with it at the time and IMO she had the correct mindset. she was there to have fun and the moment it was "more" or "less" than fun, she wanted out. But I, got much more carried away, and I let it change me. small crossings of boundaries set the scene for larger scale disrespect for my wife, a slippery slope. it's easy to blame the catalyst but i hope you come around 100% to the fact that this is a really dumb and convenient-in-a-bad-way thing to do. you have pretty clearly said that there are other things going on here and imo it's a huge cop-out to blame the entirety of the failure on the most dramatic/prurient/recent thing
|
|
#
?
Nov 2, 2017 03:19
|
|
|
The open marriage was part of it, but I think the whole "I didn't care what my wife did" is the cause of the open marriage that hastened the end of the marriage. It's at least part of it. Same with getting married so young, and maybe the ideas you guys had of what a marriage is supposed to be like. This isn't to let you off the hook, but your wife is also responsible for this divorce. She happily participated in the open arrangement, and if your wife was that unhappy with it, she should've told you that when she became unhappy. And if the marriage's only problem was that it was open, then closing it could've been the solution. She's just as culpable for the divorce, for letting things go to hell instead of being honest about what was apparently the one and only problem in your marriage. I know I'm not nice to you, so this probably sounds like I'm just being mean, but it honestly sounds like you just don't love your wife very much. Like, you DO love her, and care about her, but you don't seem to love and care a whole lot. It's just so weird that you were jealous about one of your side pieces seeing other people, but not your wife. Same with how broken up you were when you guys stopped seeing each other.
|
|
#
?
Nov 2, 2017 03:29
|
|
|
i didn’t participate in the masturbatory retellings of your open marriage but i would like you to know literally everyone who read this thread knew you were going to wind up getting divorced, op
|
|
#
?
Nov 2, 2017 04:07
|
|
|
everyone except me mate it felt like an invincibility cloak. you want it? it's yours just chase it. the stability of family home like yet the freedom of being single? just go take it
|
|
#
?
Nov 2, 2017 04:11
|
|
|
i don’t want your dumb Harry Potter cloak but I do have an exciting bridge to sell you, the dumbest man in the world
|
|
#
?
Nov 2, 2017 04:14
|
|
|
echinopsis posted:I hope they see two parents who are both happy, and that they still become the best of both of us. "I asked mom, but she told me you were the expert; what's deep throating?"
|
|
#
?
Nov 2, 2017 04:21
|
|
|
i hope now you realize the hypocrisy of wanting the ‘stability of family life’ while actively undermining the source of family life stability, or that you realize the freedom of being single is a literal desert mirage if you’re not actually single
|
|
#
?
Nov 2, 2017 04:32
|
|
|
no because my wife was an example of how to pull it off
|
|
#
?
Nov 2, 2017 05:15
|
|
|
its like communism has anyone pulled it off? does that put off anyone believing in it as an ideal?
|
|
#
?
Nov 2, 2017 05:18
|
|
|
echinopsis posted:no Your wife obviously did not "pull it off" if she hated it and it ended her marriage.
|
|
#
?
Nov 2, 2017 05:30
|
|
|
unless I am fundamentally misunderstanding the laws of space and time, your wife was one-half of the parties in a huge hosed up idiot sham two morons decided to call an ‘open marriage’. so unless your wife ‘pulling it off’ was in reference to her pulling off her underwear for Chad at work i’m not sure what you’re referring to
|
|
#
?
Nov 2, 2017 05:32
|
|
|
Bobbie Wickham posted:Your wife obviously did not "pull it off" if she hated it and it ended her marriage. she hated my crossing the boundaries and going too far. she wanted space and I turned that into the end if I had had the same attitude toward it as my wife did, things would have been fun until they were not, and then would have entered back into "normal" monogamy
|
|
#
?
Nov 2, 2017 05:34
|
|
|
my man, i have encountered some shockingly dumb people and opinions on this website, but you’re sprinting strong in the final stretch
|
|
#
?
Nov 2, 2017 05:36
|
|
|
this dude got cucked so hard he had to make a thread talking about how not cucked he was
|
|
#
?
Nov 2, 2017 05:51
|
|
|
echinopsis posted:she hated my crossing the boundaries and going too far. she wanted space and I turned that into the end Okay, so here's the thing: the criteria for "pulling off an open marriage" includes "marriage does not end in divorce."
|
|
#
?
Nov 2, 2017 06:05
|
|
|
takes two to tango. idk how else to say she was doing it well and I was the motherfucker if it was two of her, it would have worked. too bad one of those halves actually happened to be me
|
|
#
?
Nov 2, 2017 06:50
|
|
|
your wife’s involvement (or unvolvement, because you’re less a person and more a vodka-addled biohusk and thus didn’t really care) in your relationship does not matter because your vicious apathy made it clear you were not going to leave regardless of what she did. mostly because you were more concerned with lying on the internet than actually having a relationship with the person you ostensibly loved.
|
|
#
?
Nov 2, 2017 06:55
|
|
|
mate wanna come around and say that to my face
|
|
#
?
Nov 2, 2017 06:58
|
|
|
considering you are a booze-fat 36 year old living in your not-mom’s basement in the active process of becoming a deadbeat dad, i do not think your implicit threat is as menacing as it sounded in your head
|
|
#
?
Nov 2, 2017 07:03
|
|
|
 better adjust your assumptions "mate"
|
|
#
?
Nov 2, 2017 07:11
|
|
|
something awful has produced some gems but a loving yospos regular memeposting his way into divorce is hilarious to me
|
|
#
?
Nov 2, 2017 07:12
|
|
|
echinopsis posted:
I don't think he's your "mate"
|
|
#
?
Nov 2, 2017 07:13
|
|
|
A 50S RAYGUN posted:something awful has produced some gems but a loving yospos regular memeposting his way into divorce is hilarious to me It was extremely predictable too lol
|
|
#
?
Nov 2, 2017 07:13
|
|
|
A 50S RAYGUN posted:i didn’t participate in the masturbatory retellings of your open marriage but i would like you to know literally everyone who read this thread knew you were going to wind up getting divorced, op A 50S RAYGUN posted:i don’t want your dumb Harry Potter cloak but I do have an exciting bridge to sell you, the dumbest man in the world A 50S RAYGUN posted:i hope now you realize the hypocrisy of wanting the ‘stability of family life’ while actively undermining the source of family life stability, or that you realize the freedom of being single is a literal desert mirage if you’re not actually single A 50S RAYGUN posted:unless I am fundamentally misunderstanding the laws of space and time, your wife was one-half of the parties in a huge hosed up idiot sham two morons decided to call an ‘open marriage’. so unless your wife ‘pulling it off’ was in reference to her pulling off her underwear for Chad at work i’m not sure what you’re referring to A 50S RAYGUN posted:my man, i have encountered some shockingly dumb people and opinions on this website, but you’re sprinting strong in the final stretch A 50S RAYGUN posted:this dude got cucked so hard he had to make a thread talking about how not cucked he was A 50S RAYGUN posted:your wife’s involvement (or unvolvement, because you’re less a person and more a vodka-addled biohusk and thus didn’t really care) in your relationship does not matter because your vicious apathy made it clear you were not going to leave regardless of what she did. mostly because you were more concerned with lying on the internet than actually having a relationship with the person you ostensibly loved. A 50S RAYGUN posted:considering you are a booze-fat 36 year old living in your not-mom’s basement in the active process of becoming a deadbeat dad, i do not think your implicit threat is as menacing as it sounded in your head A 50S RAYGUN posted:something awful has produced some gems but a loving yospos regular memeposting his way into divorce is hilarious to me Yeah
|
|
#
?
Nov 2, 2017 07:19
|
|
|
jus trying to get by. jus trying to find a place. jus trying to find a single rung out of this kia kaha
|
|
#
?
Nov 2, 2017 07:33
|
|
|
|
| # ? May 11, 2024 17:28 |
|
|
and the difference between you and me and why i can’t stop posting here i have a heart. it’s hosed and it’s too exposed, spread too thin can’t imagine what kind of piece of poo poo human being watches this and finds it amusing./ wow
|
|
#
?
Nov 2, 2017 07:36
|
|