- christmas boots
- Oct 15, 2012
-
To these sing-alongs 🎤of siren 🧜🏻♀️songs
To oohs😮 to ahhs😱 to 👏big👏applause👏
With all of my 😡anger I scream🤬 and shout📢
🇺🇸America🦅, I love you 🥰but you're freaking 💦me 😳out
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Biscuit Hider
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My mom [52F] is upset that my brother [27M] and I [24F] are going to my half-sister's sweet 16.
quote:
Throwaway just in case somebody knows me.
When I was 8 years old my dad told my brother and I that he didn’t love my mom anymore and was moving out. He had cheated on her with another woman and was having a baby girl. Here is where it gets weird. My parents aren’t divorced. I’m not sure what the reasoning is. I know my mom doesn’t want to get a divorce, she is extremely religious and believes that he will come back some day. But after talking to my sister and seeing pictures of my dad and this woman online it is clear that he is happy and has his own family now. My dad has never fully left the picture – he comes over a few times a week to make sure the house is okay and ensures that the bills are paid (my mom works full time too so it’s not just on him – they share a bank account).
I’m not extremely close with my father (56M), as I was very resentful and struggled with depression and anxiety my whole life (doing much better now and I have my own daughter) but my sister has been around since she was born. She has come over plenty of times, she comes to all of our family parties (her mom excluded obviously) and we’ll text each other once in a while.
Now my half-sister (16F) is having her sweet 16 this weekend and we are working together to make the desserts. My mom (52F) found out that my brother (27M) and I (24F) were going to her party on Sunday (obviously my mom is not going) and she’s making a big deal about it saying that my sister’s “mom (50s?) is going to be there” and it’s “going to be awkward” and that we “shouldn’t stay long” and “can just drop off the stuff and go home”. She’s clearly very upset about this and said she had to “pray about it.” For the past few days she says she has been feeling nauseous and I feel she’s just being dramatic because we are going to this party.
I already understand that my mom has a lot of issues. I’ve noticed them as I was growing up and am full aware that she is partially the reason as to why I had depression/anxiety. She is the sweetest person but has always resorted to her Christianity as an escape from reality I feel like she is a bit delusional. Now that I’m older and can kind of see why my dad left her in the first place – she talks non-stop, she does stupid things (like buying a new doorknob for the garage door that wasn’t the right size and trying to put it on anyway but had to call my dad over because she realized she couldn’t do it (poo poo like this happens all the time), expects my dad to pay for things that she wants (a new car even though her car works perfectly fine), constantly asks questions like a five year old, she does not understand the concept of personal space, goes into your room without asking and makes comments on things… there are plenty of stories I can tell. I’m not saying my dad was right for cheating on her, but I can kind of understand the situation a bit better since I’m currently living with my mom with my one year old and Fiancée as we save up for a house. I see that he is happy with his family and have come to accept that instead of being angry and resentful all the time like I used to be.
My question is: Are my brother and I wrong for planning to attend my half-sister’s birthday even though her mom will be there?
TLDR: Dad cheated on mom and had another kid 16 years ago. He lives with that family. Half-sister comes to all our family events and parties (her mom excluded) and we are somewhat close. Mom is upset that my brother and I are attending her party on Sunday.
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Nov 2, 2017 20:43
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- Adbot
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ADBOT LOVES YOU
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Jun 12, 2024 13:50
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- 30 Goddamned Dicks
- Sep 8, 2010
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I will leave you to flounder in your cesspool of primeval soup, you sad, lonely, little cowards.
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Fun Shoe
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I feel like a lot of people on this Earth would be a lot fuckin happier if they'd realize "BUT BUT BUT FAAAAAAAMMMMMIIIIIILLLLLYYYYYYYYYYY" is not a good reason to continue associating with assholes/ crazy people.
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Nov 2, 2017 20:51
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- Milotic
- Mar 4, 2009
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9CL apologist
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Slippery Tilde
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So, how long until she goes off the deep end? The husband’s a dick, but he’s not wrong.
Me [33F] with [36M] husband - thinks I'm selfish after stopping PPD therapy
quote:u/camelpose
I am at a total loss here.
I had twins five months ago and struggled with PPD. Not "I want to throw my baby out the window" serious PPD but like "Oh my god I feel like I hate these babies sometimes, I'm so overwhelmed, I need to move away from the family because I'm never going to be good at this." I had a very tough time getting pregnant, being pregnant, had a traumatic delivery and had a tough time learning to be a first-time mom with two constant screaming maws. It was a hard summer. I felt so depressed, so alone and like such a lovely mom. My husband was great and supportive and said we'd get through this together - in sickness and health. He was amazing, and I've thanked him more than a few times.
In order to take care of myself and get through this, I did so much - I joined a support group, I'm in physical therapy, I talk to my husband and my friends/family all the time instead of shutting down, I've seen two therapists (one regularly and now I'm actually going to see another third one who specialized in PTSD). I made it a priority to exercise. I asked for help when I need it (such as instances where I felt like I physically could not be around the babies). I feel like I was an A+ post-partum depressed woman in all the outreach I saw. I wasn't just sitting around in bed crying. I gave it my 100% to get better.
I even considered very non-traditional paths, honestly out of desperation and having nothing to lose. Two weeks ago today I went to a healing meditation ceremony from a local shaman. (I know, I know ... a Chicago-based shaman. I know how ridiculous it sounds.) Whatever that weird poo poo was, it worked. Basically, he just led us into this super deep meditation and healing ceremony. I realized so much about my journey, my identity as a mom, what I had been resisting, the weight I had been carrying around, and I also needed to forgive the babies. I shared all these insights with my husband. He's not really a "woo woo" guy but he tolerated it. And ever since that ceremony I have not had even one bad day or negative emotion toward the babies or motherhood. That was a really important part of my healing process and I'm so grateful for it. I feel joy again. I feel like I had a 100-pound backpack on and I finally got to take it off.
Shortly after (like a week later) all of my groups and therapists started feeling like a burden. My therapists and physical therapists are all an hour commute each way. I have to go during the work day so it's stressful to get all my other work done. My therapist is awesome, but I felt like we were running out of stuff to talk about so I dropped the frequency from twice a month to once a month. I just feel like I've reached the next phase in my healing where I'm looking to myself for guidance versus seeking out all these external people. The support group was six weeks so it's over - that was out of my control. But all this is to say for me, it felt like the next chapter.
So I told him husband and he was acting a little distance for the next few days. Not affectionate, not really listening to me, just being mildly passive aggressive. So finally I confronted him and he said that he realized he is upset I made the decision to stop doing these support things on my own instead of talking through with him since it's a decision that affects our family, beyond just me. I get it, I totally do - I think I should have explained my thought process more clearly instead of just telling him so bluntly what I already decided after the fact. I apologized, I thought we had moved on.
Guess who's still ignoring me and withholding affection? Him. This morning it came out he thinks I'm not healed, this shaman person is bullshit, I have a CHEMICAL IMBALANCE (he always raises his voice when he says that) that can't be healed by a three-hour meditation session. I am totally selfish for making those decisions, he's utterly betrayed, and even though I apologized he's still not over it. He says I never do anything for him and I'm totally selfish - which is funny because went through one of the most personally taxing times in my life for the benefit of our family. When I said that to him he was like "Oh here you go, manipulating the details to make yourself look like the victim."
Am I missing something here? I am honestly at such a loss. It's like he went from the most supportive PPD husband ever to the most unsupportive. All I wanted was for him to be like "I'm so happy you feel like you're healing, you've been through so much, and I'm glad it seems like it's over. Let's monitor the situation together, but be cautiously optimistic." Instead he's saying how my decision to stop many of my PPD therapies without considering him as a 50/50 equal say reflects my bigger problem of being extremely selfish, and he's now realizing he's deeply happy in our relationship and dredging up so much stuff from the past that I thought we were over. (He's very good at holding a grudge.)
I'm not looking for responses like "He is a dick, gently caress him" or whatever because I am totally committed to this relationship. He is usually a really nice guy so this is pretty out of character for him. It makes no sense to me that he doesn't believe me that I'm better, but yet he still thinks I am capable of being on the receiving end of this emotional garbage dump he's heaping on me. Like I don't even want to sleep in the same bed as him tonight, I'm so pissed off. And I know he would say this is irrelevant to the story and I'm playing the victim, but I'm really upset and hurt too that what felt like a finish line is now just the beginning of something entirely different and hard. Like WHY NOW is he all of a sudden mad at me now that I think I'm better?
Anyway, if you have any insight I haven't been considering I'd love to hear it.
tl;dr: I had mild to moderate postpartum depression, I feel like I'm over it and now my husband is acting extremely... mean and out of character.
I’m sure she’s fine now. Just wait until they can start walking. Then we’ll see.
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Nov 2, 2017 20:55
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- ArbitraryC
- Jan 28, 2009
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Pick a number, any number
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Pillbug
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But there's no reason to do that. The cat has a habit of pawing at them when it wants to go outside, this time its claws caught the husbands loving pants and he went apeshit on the cat. There's no indication that the cat in the actual story has any real behavior problems that make it a danger to the OP or her husband. There's nothing in that story that says the cat attacks the guy constantly, or bites either of them as a normal behavior so the whole thing is just dumb to bring up because it doesn't apply to the situation at hand. Unless the OP is hiding a ton of other instances, her cat is pretty normal and its habit of pawing at you when it wants to go outside is better than it meowing super loving loud or destroying your carpet/screen door/other poo poo.
The cat isn't "pawing with it's claws out" it scratched the dude while he walked by it. That'd be like saying "my bf forcefully tapped me on the shoulder with a closed hand" no, he punched you. That's dangerous because cat claws carry alot of bacteria, even a minor scratch can be dangerous. The incident happened unprompted and it's likely it's happened in the past/will happen again. His response wasn't appropriate but neither was the cat's behavior. They should have sat down like adults and discussed what they would do with the cat if this was going to be an ongoing problem.
And yeah, pet owners notoriously try to undersell their pet's aggression, I worked in a vet hospital and it was a common problem. Even known problem pets that were issued tranquilizers to be used before bringing them in the owners would frequently not use the medicine because they couldn't acknowledge the danger their of their animals.
ArbitraryC fucked around with this message at 20:57 on Nov 2, 2017
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Nov 2, 2017 20:55
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- Penguissimo
- Apr 7, 2007
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Deleted his save file in Super Mario Galaxy when he was two stars away from 100% with Luigi.
If the purple coins was one of the missing stars then it was a mercy
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Nov 2, 2017 20:59
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- christmas boots
- Oct 15, 2012
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To these sing-alongs 🎤of siren 🧜🏻♀️songs
To oohs😮 to ahhs😱 to 👏big👏applause👏
With all of my 😡anger I scream🤬 and shout📢
🇺🇸America🦅, I love you 🥰but you're freaking 💦me 😳out
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Biscuit Hider
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Pranked girl and got caught now confused
quote: Hello, I’m in Vermont USA but I pranked a girl by messaging people in Louisiana who live near her who have a tickle fetish. I told them where to find her and to tie her up and tickle her. I don’t even know how she found out but she claims there is an open case with the police and that I’m gonna be arrested because what I did was a crime. As far as I know in my state it’s not illegal to prank anyone and second of all nothing happened to her and I did this prank a year ago. So how would the police have any basis to arrest me after something that happened last year??
Makes no sense.
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Nov 2, 2017 21:05
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- Milotic
- Mar 4, 2009
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9CL apologist
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Slippery Tilde
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I think this will get removed by the AutoModerator, so I doubt I’ll ever find out, but I really want to know what the gaming system is.
How do I [35 M] get over this betrayal by my friends [20s-40s M/F]?
quote:u/IncommensurateWeimar
For three years, I've managed a real-life gaming group - think along the lines of Warhammer 40K, D&D, LARP etc. Our community is very niche (so I don't want to specify what it is). I host the games in my home. We meet 3 to 4 times a week, and our group is around 20 players, boys and girls between 20 and 40 years old.
I started the group, manage the sessions, provide all the resources, handle any interpersonal disputes, and create 100% of the content we use. I have spent thousands of dollars of my own money with no expectation of anything in return. I spend 10-12 hours a week of my free time preparing for the upcoming games. This involves writing, drawing, painting, preparing print-outs and scripts etc. I have written over 300,000 words of in-game lore for the players' use, and created a richly detailed tapestry for their enjoyment. I do it because I love it, and because my players love it. Until this incident happened, we had no major problems and a hell of a lot of fun.
All this is not to brag, but to show that it's a labor of love, and to illustrate how much of myself I've put into this hobby.
Around 6 months ago, I had a dispute over rules with one player (28 F). She felt she was unfairly disadvantaged by a ruling I made. Not wanting to disrupt our sessions, I met with her a few times privately to hear her out. I gave her a more than fair hearing. I absolutely empathized with her, but I have to be a neutral arbiter, and to change the ruling I made would disadvantage the other players. After this, she grew increasingly bitter and passive-aggressive in our sessions, becoming withdrawn and angry, a side of her I had never seen.
About a week later, after one session had finished, the players (including her) left my home. An hour later, my phone and social media were blowing up with messages from all my friends. The girl in question (who is married, as am I) broke down crying and made an accusation that I had sexually assaulted her. She waited until they were out of earshot of my home, then made the accusation when I wasn't there to defend myself.
Specifically, she said that during one of the private meetings we had about the rules, I approached, held her down forcibly, and pushed my hand between her legs to grope her genitals.
I have never had a sexual interest in this girl or approached any of my players inappropriately, and I did nothing that could be remotely construed as assault. I didn't touch her, and was on the other side of a long table the entire time we talked. Our conversation was solely about the rules of the game. Obviously, we both only have our word as evidence.
My wife, my best friend (who both play) and another friend all immediately told me they stood behind me. My wife has been a rock, and has never doubted me for a split second.
The problem is how the rest of the players reacted. Within an hour or two of hearing her accusation, many of them started to block and remove me on social media. The ones who didn't block me entirely gave me the cold shoulder, ignoring my calls and messages despite my pleas for them to hear me out.
I got a LOT of accusatory messages saying things like "Why would she lie? What could she gain out of lying about something so horrible? I don't think she's that kind of person. Why would you do something like this etc."
Only a week after she made the accusation, she broke down crying in front of her husband and admitted that nothing happened, and that she lied out of anger, to break down what she saw as my stubbornness over the rules. Her husband has now separated from her while they attend couples' therapy because he no longer trusts her.
Maybe my friends were in shock at first, because she put on a good act. But my problem is they didn't give me the benefit of the doubt, or even hear my side. I would even accept it if they said "Hey, an accusation has been made, and I don't think you're that kind of guy, but what do you say about it?" But no one wanted to listen to me at the time. This is a potentially life-ruining accusation in my eyes.
That was six months ago, during which time the games have been suspended (the games are impossible to run without my co-operation, because I do all the work). I haven't spoken to any of the friends since. Once she told the truth, they immediately started to friend request me again, and send messages of support, saying that they believed me, they were sorry, and would open their arms to me when I'm ready to speak. They also sent a lot of messages begging me to resume the game sessions when I'm ready, because it's very important to them.
I feel like it was too little, too late, and I haven't replied to anyone. I spent the entire week after the incident alternating between extreme anger, tears, and anxiety that I'd have a reputation as a sex offender or even face criminal investigation or lose my job.
So it's easy, right? Cut ties and move on.
Well, my problem is simple: I really miss the game.
I've devoted three years of my life to this game, and it might sound dramatic, but it feels like I've lost a relationship or a limb. I'm so sad over all the storylines that will never play out, especially for the friends who stood by me, like my wife and my best friend - they did nothing to deserve having their game ruined. I miss the laughs, and the drama, and the storytelling. I'm sad that everything I created is just languishing in files in my home, never to be used again. The friends who supported me are always telling me how much they miss my creations.
Unfortunately, due to the rules of the game, it would not be possible to restart the game without all of the group present (except my accuser, who won't be joining us). Also, it wouldn't be possible to start a new game with different people using the work I've done, for technical reasons (the way they interact with the game changes it as they play).
Part of me wants to reach out to my friends and just ask them if they want to start playing again, but another part of me simply can't get over the way they dumped all over me as soon as they got the chance.
I can't decide what I want.
A friend who's not involved in this situation said I'm crazy for wanting to associate with these people again, because they could have ruined my life. He said that I should actually grieve for my creations and then try to let it all go, accept that it's over. But I just can't let go of everything I've written and made.
I could really use an objective point of view because I have such a strong emotional attachment to the game I've invested so much in. Thank you.
tl;dr: I run a tabletop gaming group of around 20 people. One girl in the group falsely accused me of sexual assault because she was mad at me. Almost everyone believed her, and ostracized me, but now they're on my side and they're begging me to come back. I can't decide whether I want to play with them again or not.
He takes it waaaay too seriously. It sucks that his name has been dragged through the mud, but private meetings to discuss a ruling. Not being able to continue with some people missing? He’s boxed himself in with his own rules and restrictions. It’s meant to be fun.
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Nov 2, 2017 21:06
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- blarzgh
- Apr 14, 2009
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SNITCHIN' RANDY
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Grimey Drawer
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So, how long until she goes off the deep end? The husband’s a dick, but he’s not wrong.
Me [33F] with [36M] husband - thinks I'm selfish after stopping PPD therapy
I’m sure she’s fine now. Just wait until they can start walking. Then we’ll see.
"Guys, my husband is being totally unsupportive that I've decided to open my chakras instead of taking my depression meds. What do I do?!"
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Nov 2, 2017 21:09
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- ArbitraryC
- Jan 28, 2009
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Pick a number, any number
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Pillbug
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tbh there's a difference between "swatted at pant leg with claws out" and "scratched the dude".
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Nov 2, 2017 21:10
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- Barudak
- May 7, 2007
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Pranked girl and got caught now confused
Sorry bub, the Napoleonic Code takes a very harsh view on pranking.
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Nov 2, 2017 21:12
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- ArbitraryC
- Jan 28, 2009
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Pick a number, any number
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Pillbug
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Pranked girl and got caught now confused
"I tried to get this girl assaulted and now she's prosecuting me".
Are there any good prank stories? I feel like the only funny one I recall was this guy who had a girlfriend in a "prank war" with another guy she clearly wanted to bone, and at the end of the story it came out that the dude in the prank war was just trying to wingman for his other friend.
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Nov 2, 2017 21:14
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- maskenfreiheit
- Dec 30, 2004
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So, how long until she goes off the deep end? The husband’s a dick, but he’s not wrong.
Me [33F] with [36M] husband - thinks I'm selfish after stopping PPD therapy
I’m sure she’s fine now. Just wait until they can start walking. Then we’ll see.
he should encourage her to start juicing and slip the pills in there
maskenfreiheit fucked around with this message at 21:57 on Nov 2, 2017
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Nov 2, 2017 21:14
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- blarzgh
- Apr 14, 2009
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SNITCHIN' RANDY
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Grimey Drawer
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I think this will get removed by the AutoModerator, so I doubt I’ll ever find out, but I really want to know what the gaming system is.
How do I [35 M] get over this betrayal by my friends [20s-40s M/F]?
He takes it waaaay too seriously. It sucks that his name has been dragged through the mud, but private meetings to discuss a ruling. Not being able to continue with some people missing? He’s boxed himself in with his own rules and restrictions. It’s meant to be fun.
Somebody having a stupid hobby they take way too seriously is no justification for having someone else try to ruin their lives over it.
He probably needs to accept that right now we live in a time where the idea of questioning someone's allegations of this sort of thing is considered socially unacceptable, fair or not, and give his friends the benefit of the doubt and an opportunity to apologize.
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Nov 2, 2017 21:16
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- Barudak
- May 7, 2007
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I think this will get removed by the AutoModerator, so I doubt I’ll ever find out, but I really want to know what the gaming system is.
It cant be Wraethu or else shed be accusing him of not loving her.
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Nov 2, 2017 21:16
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- Ugly In The Morning
- Jul 1, 2010
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Pillbug
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Pranked girl and got caught now confused
I haven't been able to dig this up. Someone, please, bless me with some of the comments
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Nov 2, 2017 21:21
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- Milotic
- Mar 4, 2009
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9CL apologist
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Slippery Tilde
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Somebody having a stupid hobby they take way too seriously is no justification for having someone else try to ruin their lives over it.
I agree. But the not being able to run the game without these people is a rod he’s made for his own back. He doesn’t need them - it’s a game, one where he’s the lead. He can find a way out. And I disagree with your second point - he shouldn’t sit down and play a game with them. They judged him - would you want to sit down and play games with people who believe you could be a sex offender? They want to play, one of them can host or GM.
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Nov 2, 2017 21:21
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- christmas boots
- Oct 15, 2012
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To these sing-alongs 🎤of siren 🧜🏻♀️songs
To oohs😮 to ahhs😱 to 👏big👏applause👏
With all of my 😡anger I scream🤬 and shout📢
🇺🇸America🦅, I love you 🥰but you're freaking 💦me 😳out
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Biscuit Hider
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Somebody having a stupid hobby they take way too seriously is no justification for having someone else try to ruin their lives over it.
He probably needs to accept that right now we live in a time where the idea of questioning someone's allegations of this sort of thing is considered socially unacceptable, fair or not, and give his friends the benefit of the doubt and an opportunity to apologize.
On the other hand, it’s totally fine if he doesn’t want to. If you accuse someone of something heinous they have no obligation to forgive you later on.
You may not think it should be like it is, but it do.
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Nov 2, 2017 21:23
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- christmas boots
- Oct 15, 2012
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To these sing-alongs 🎤of siren 🧜🏻♀️songs
To oohs😮 to ahhs😱 to 👏big👏applause👏
With all of my 😡anger I scream🤬 and shout📢
🇺🇸America🦅, I love you 🥰but you're freaking 💦me 😳out
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Biscuit Hider
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I haven't been able to dig this up. Someone, please, bless me with some of the comments
https://www.reddit.com/r/legaladvice/comments/7a8dx6/pranked_girl_and_got_caught_now_confused/?sort=qa
OP already deleted himself, but if you pick Q&A you can still see some of his comments. Best of legal advice has a bot that saves OPs for this exact reason, god bless them
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Nov 2, 2017 21:26
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- blarzgh
- Apr 14, 2009
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SNITCHIN' RANDY
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Grimey Drawer
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I agree. But the not being able to run the game without these people is a rod he’s made for his own back. He doesn’t need them - it’s a game, one where he’s the lead. He can find a way out. And I disagree with your second point - he shouldn’t sit down and play a game with them. They judged him - would you want to sit down and play games with people who believe you could be a sex offender? They want to play, one of them can host or GM.
I'm sure he's being myopic, and he can find new friends, but 33rd degree nerds probably have more trouble than the rest of us in that department. I'd like to think I'd have the personal grace to forgive them, but I don't know.
I think context is important; go on facebook, and call someone who's alleging a sexual assault a "liar" and see how that goes for you. They deserve a little leeway.
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Nov 2, 2017 21:26
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- ArbitraryC
- Jan 28, 2009
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Pick a number, any number
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Pillbug
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Somebody having a stupid hobby they take way too seriously is no justification for having someone else try to ruin their lives over it.
He probably needs to accept that right now we live in a time where the idea of questioning someone's allegations of this sort of thing is considered socially unacceptable, fair or not, and give his friends the benefit of the doubt and an opportunity to apologize.
It sounds like the people he was close to rallied around him and the neutral people did the pretty acceptable thing of believing the "victim". I think he'd be better served by understanding that they were in an awkward spot and forgiving them for making the most reasonable decision given their information, it's not like "hearing him out" would have changed anything because it's obvious he would deny it regardless of guilt. That said i can't really blame him for taking it personally and holding it against them either, they did essentially accuse him of sexual assault even if they were just trying to do the right thing.
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Nov 2, 2017 21:29
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- maskenfreiheit
- Dec 30, 2004
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(USA, CA) Sent our son to child psychologist to address gaming addiction. Instead, psychologist has been playing video games online with our son outside of scheduled sessions and encouraging him to pursue a career as a "professional gamer" (self.legaladvice)
quote:
Our son is seventeen and spends far too much time on his computer. This has had noticeable negative effect on his grades and we had noticed that he spends much less time with his friends since last year, when he started playing online shooter games into the latest hours of the night. When this began to impact his grades my wife and I made the decision to cut off his internet time, but finding a schedule that works has been an uphill battle - he frequently complains about depression when he can’t access his computer and says that we are restricting his future as a professional game player. He is clearly addicted based on his behavior. We are currently struggling to find a balance between restricting access to the computer and allowing him to engage his interests, since taking away the computer altogether has proved disastrous for our relationship with our son. At a family friend’s request, we began taking him to see a local psychologist who specializes in teenagers.
We were a touch skeptical when one of the early meetings involved our son taking his laptop to the office so they could play one of the shooter games he plays together, but we were assured this was a method of setting the groundwork of mutual understanding between the psychologist and our son. We were led to believe this would be a grounds for them to relate to each other on while moving forward.
However, we recently discovered that at some point our son and the psychologist exchanged gaming tags and began playing video games online outside of their sessions. While we knew that they would have to exchange these tags in order to play online during their sessions together, we were not informed that this would allow communications to continue outside the office. According to our son, they have been playing online shooter games during late hours and he has been encouraging our son’s goals of making money by airing his game sessions online. To a layman like myself this seems like the opposite of the right advice to offer to someone who is suffering from an addiction. Meanwhile, our son’s grades have continued to decline.
We only have our son’s word to go on at the moment that he has been playing games with the psychologist in his downtime, but the psychologist’s gaming tag have appeared in our son’s logs for his recent play sessions.
We are going to confront the psychologist on this this coming week. If we are able to confirm this has been happening, is there an avenue to pursue legal recourse? No professional should be encouraging this sort of damaging behavior just because he values skilled partners for his gaming sessions.
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Nov 2, 2017 21:30
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- Milotic
- Mar 4, 2009
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9CL apologist
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Slippery Tilde
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I'm sure he's being myopic, and he can find new friends, but 33rd degree nerds probably have more trouble than the rest of us in that department. I'd like to think I'd have the personal grace to forgive them, but I don't know.
I think context is important; go on facebook, and call someone who's alleging a sexual assault a "liar" and see how that goes for you. They deserve a little leeway.
You could be neutral, and not unfriend anyone until either charges or a conviction are brought. And certainly don’t get involved in stuff over social media. It’s a difficult one. I’m a Christian, so forgiveness etc., etc., but it can take time and it doesn’t necessarily mean you should hang with them socially for extended periods of time from then on.
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Nov 2, 2017 21:33
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- blarzgh
- Apr 14, 2009
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SNITCHIN' RANDY
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Grimey Drawer
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You could be neutral, and not unfriend anyone until either charges or a conviction are brought. And certainly don’t get involved in stuff over social media. It’s a difficult one. I’m a Christian, so forgiveness etc., etc., but it can take time and it doesn’t necessarily mean you should hang with them socially for extended periods of time from then on.
Yeah, don't get me wrong, I think he's totally justified in walking away from those people. But if he wants his group back together, he's got to bite the bullet and open that door.
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Nov 2, 2017 21:35
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- boner confessor
- Apr 25, 2013
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by R. Guyovich
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Yeah, don't get me wrong, I think he's totally justified in walking away from those people. But if he wants his group back together, he's got to bite the bullet and open that door.
yeah. it sucks that your friend group think you being a rapist is plausible but it's not like this decision was made in a vacuum, they were manipulated by someone who is a good enough manipulator. sometimes you just have to forgive if you want your friends back and not hold up "you thought it was plausible that i sexually assaulted someone" as a dealbreaker
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Nov 2, 2017 21:38
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- HerStuddMuffin
- Aug 10, 2014
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YOSPOS
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One guy running a game for 20 players screams LARP to me, even before the melodrama. I’d say nothing happened there that shouldn’t have been fully expected. It was only a matter of time before a well placed drama bomb blew it all away.
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Nov 2, 2017 21:40
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- ArbitraryC
- Jan 28, 2009
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Pick a number, any number
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Pillbug
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So, how long until she goes off the deep end? The husband’s a dick, but he’s not wrong.
Me [33F] with [36M] husband - thinks I'm selfish after stopping PPD therapy
I’m sure she’s fine now. Just wait until they can start walking. Then we’ll see.
Pretty good response in the comments
quote:
I get where he's coming from.
A while ago, my husband sat me down and "surprised" me with the news that he had weaned himself off of all his bipolar meds with his doctor's help and supervision.
I was livid.
It had taken me forever to get through to him that he needed help in the first place, and all that time, I had to bear the brunt of his mood disorder. That he would unilaterally decide to stop taking the medication that made him behave like a normal person made me extremely upset, especially since he didn't even tell me.
So we talked about it more. He was hurt that I wasn't happy for him. But then I explained to him in very specific terms exactly what it had been like living with him while he was unmedicated and then the lights finally came on. He knew it had been unpleasant, but he didn't really realize how bad it was from my perspective because I had always emphasized getting him help for his sake. Half the time, he had no idea that the way he was behaving wasn't normal or healthy because that's what mood disorders do. He didn't know how afraid I was before, how much I wasn't able to share with him because he wasn't in a good enough place emotionally for me to always confide in him.
I was pissed because I had spent so much time being supportive, being understanding, and trying to help the person I loved, and he turned around and gave me no say whatsoever in how our life was going to be together in the future. He placed a massive burden on me without my permission, just as I was beginning to feel like I could breathe again. It still makes me upset just thinking about it. It made me really angry that he had not been hearing me all that time when I told him how his actions were affecting me.
We did work it out and he ended up going back on his meds a couple of weeks later when he started noticing symptoms returning. So that was good.
Everything in your post is about how hard it was for you. And yes, it was. And it was probably harder for you than it was for your husband. But it's hard to explain how difficult it is to be in a position like his. I'm sure it felt like the responsibility for everything was falling on his shoulders because you were unwell. He didn't know if it was going to get worse and leave you suicidal. He didn't know if you were ever going to get totally better. And on top of that, TWINS. And it's only been five months to get used to being a parent, having a mentally ill wife, and then having that wife suddenly decide she is better and quit therapy. That is a lot. I'm not saying he's handling this perfectly, because he isn't, but I am saying that I don't think you fully appreciate how much strain he has been and is still experiencing.
My advice is to go to him and apologize again, especially for leaving him out of this important decision when he had proven himself to be really supportive of you already. Tell him that you've been so focused on your recovery that you didn't really think much about how this has been hard for him too. While you had his support, he did not have yours. Ask him what it's been like for him and really listen. Don't argue or contradict him. Ask for some sort of compromise regarding your therapy (like, if he notices you starting to slip, you will go back even if you are not noticing it because that's a super common thing when any form of depression is involved). See what he would be comfortable with.
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Nov 2, 2017 21:58
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- girl pants
- Sep 21, 2006
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I feel a great disturbance in my pants
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It really sounds like PPD therapy woman reached her therapy goals (no longer hating herself and her kids) and her husband doesn't trust her enough to believe that she has.
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Nov 2, 2017 21:59
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- ArbitraryC
- Jan 28, 2009
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Pick a number, any number
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Pillbug
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It really sounds like PPD therapy woman reached her therapy goals (no longer hating herself and her kids) and her husband doesn't trust her enough to believe that she has.
I mean if it involved months of self admitted neglect then it does seem pretty fair that it should have been a mutual discussion on how to move forwards. That's why I thought the bpd post was a good response to the OP because it really highlighted how scary it could be to be with someone who had mental issues that resulted in real world harm deciding for themselves that they were cured. If she starts slipping again how long will it be before he can convince her she needs more therapy/to go back on meds? How long should he have to bear the brunt of that burden?
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Nov 2, 2017 22:05
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- Milotic
- Mar 4, 2009
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9CL apologist
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Slippery Tilde
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It really sounds like PPD therapy woman reached her therapy goals (no longer hating herself and her kids) and her husband doesn't trust her enough to believe that she has.
She used the phrase “I also needed to forgive the babies”. I might be reading too much into that, but it’s telling that she feels the babies needed forgiveness for know - existing and being babies. That sentence worries me.
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Nov 2, 2017 22:10
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- Pvt.Scott
- Feb 16, 2007
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What God wants, God gets, God help us all
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What loving game could they possibly be playing that would lock them in or whatever? I guess if they’re balls-deep in one of those pseudo-RPG board games like Descent with all of the expansions going I could see that. Maybe they’re playing Kingdom Death, for the comedy option?
E: just run a new game you drama queen. Like everyone wants to be reminded about the whole ordeal every time they play anyway.
EE: 20 players could be multiple game nights/adventuring groups, plus board game/war game buddies, etc. He did say tabletop. LARP would be the most likely for a group that large if they all show up at once.
Also trying to figure out what “evolving rules” horseshit system this clusterfuck is based on.
Pvt.Scott fucked around with this message at 22:33 on Nov 2, 2017
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Nov 2, 2017 22:12
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- Bunni-kat
- May 25, 2010
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Service Desk B-b-bunny...
How can-ca-caaaaan I
help-p-p-p you?
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She used the phrase “I also needed to forgive the babies”. I might be reading too much into that, but it’s telling that she feels the babies needed forgiveness for know - existing and being babies. That sentence worries me.
To be fair, that's usually part of PPD from what I understand. You blame the squealing needy bundle of aggravation for your lack of sleep, your irritability, etc. Forgiveness can also be "I know that those things are not malicious, and simply part of being, and I'm not angry for it any more." So I don't think that line is so bad.
It's the single session with a guru and deciding a week later she's perfect. That's the worrying part. I'm scared it'll boomerang back around and hit her as "oh god, I was so evil to them, they deserve better than me I should leave"
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Nov 2, 2017 22:29
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- wak
- May 8, 2017
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D U C K F A L E S .
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Pillbug
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Me (29M) Why did my friend want to kiss me on the cheek? (24F)Non-Romantic (self.relationships)
quote:She is in a relationship and has been for five years.
We barely hang out nowadays.
We went out drinking and she said "can I kiss you on the cheek?" quite randomly. Never done that before. Then she asked her boyfriend for permission to kiss me on the cheek. He said yes.
She kissed me on the cheek and said "you smell nice"
It was...weird.
She had barely drunk anything by that point.
I have known her for about ten years. Other than a couple of years where she had a crush on me (nothing happened with that), nothing like this has ever happened. It just seemed REALLY weird to me.
Nothing like this has happened since. In fact, we have hung out even less, although that is not tied to this.
It is really weird. Then right after my ex was like 'let's make out' and my friend got mad at us.
tl;dr: Why did she want to kiss me on the cheek?1
How bizarre!
[E] The plot thickens:
OP posted:Her boyfriend asked 'jokingly' for a threesome in the past.
OP posted:I think he was joking and then she piped up and said:
"I don't want to ruin the friendship"
that is in relationship to the threesome thing. wak fucked around with this message at 22:37 on Nov 2, 2017
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Nov 2, 2017 22:31
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- girl pants
- Sep 21, 2006
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I feel a great disturbance in my pants
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She probably should have involved her husband in her decision, sure. But if the way he reacted is being reported at all accurately, I don't think he would have listened to her. If she were still in need of intensive therapy, wouldn't her therapist have objected when she scaled back her appointments? I don't want to start a big therapy derail here, though, so content:
Pressure from my partner (28f) for me (27m) to ejaculate inside her
u/IUD_throwaway3625
quote:
Guy here, in a fairly new relationship. We've been dating about 2 months, and this is my first intimate relationship with regular, penetrative sex. The sex has been wild and wonderful!
My girlfriend has a Mirena IUD that was inserted 2.5 years ago. We used condoms in conjunction with this until we committed to be monogamous together. Since then, her IUD is the only form of birth control that's being used. And of course, the sex is better. We have an incredible connection and chemistry, and for about a month, we pretty much spending all of our free time loving. She was begging for my cum inside her, and it was hot. I was ejaculating inside her vagina everytime we made whoopie for several weeks, but for some reason it has really started to bother me. I can't quite put my finger on it, but some close guy friends of mine agree that it bothers them a bit as well, even though they oblige their partners by cumming inside them.
I know that Mirena has a less than 1% failure rate. That's super effective, I realize. And maybe it's just the poker player in me, but statsical anomalies do happen - especially when you're "playing hands" as often as we are. On top of that, if an IUD does fail, it's likely that the pregnancy will be ectopic. That can have some serious consequences if left untreated. Not the mention the financial burden of an abortion. I would feel a responsibility for this. The common medical literature still reccommmends the use of condoms alongside hormonal IUDs.
Obviously going back to condoms is no fun. As such, I've been pulling out, or asking her to finish me with her mouth. She says she likes swallowing. I know that precum can have viable semen in it, but it still seems less likely for an unwanted pregnancy to occur if I'm not regularly blowing my baby gravy up to her cervix. (She says I cum farther, and in more quantity than any of her other partners - not that it matters lol).
She says that it feels so amazing when I cum inside her, and I can agree that it does create a greater sense of bond and closeness. It still feels like I shouldn't be doing it right now. I've also been very conscious of asking, listening and paying attention to how she likes to be loved on, so she is being satisfied. She said it's the best sex she's ever had, and of course, it is for me, too.
We've talked about it, and she seemed okay with this, even though she still asks me to cum inside her sometimes. I just feel that I shouldn't be ejaculating inside of her vagina, unless we're planning on having a baby. Our relationship, and our lives are not to that point yet. Maybe it's more symbolic for me than anything else.
Last night though, she asked me if I wanted to cum inside her, and I said no. She replied with, "I shouldn't have asked, but it feels like a rejection when don't do it." I obviously am not consciously trying to make her feel that way. I like so much about her, and i want her to feel good about herself. It feels so good just being close to her. However, the pressure is making me not want to do it even more.
What are y'alls thoughts about this?
Thanks r/Relationships. I appreciate anyone who took time out of their day to read this.
tl;dr: Even though my girlfriend has an IUD, I am uncomfortable with ejactulating inside her. She says it feels like a rejection when I don't do it, and she still asks me to, even though I've expressed my concerns about it.
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Nov 2, 2017 22:31
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- Dunning Krugerrand
- Dec 23, 2015
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purestrain pyrite
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"my friend"
I [32M] need to apologize to my ex fiance [33F] for some messages my friend [33M] sent using my phone.
quote:My ex and I were together for 6 years and we broke up 3 years ago. She's a teacher and I own my own business. I make about 3x what she does and I also inherited a fair chunk of money from my grandfather.
I proposed to her and she accepted, everything was going really well until the topic of prenups came up. My parents were also concerned that I get a prenup too and I agreed.
She basically refused to sign one saying that she didn't believe in them and that we were a partnership and that we should share everything.
I told her that was easy for her to say since she had less to lose than me in a divorce. We argued for days about it and I finally told her that I couldn't marry without a prenup. She told me she wouldn't marry me with one.
I called the engagement off, thinking that maybe she'd see reason but she said "fine" and just handed me my ring back, packed her things up and moved out.
I offered her a compromise- that if we had kids the prenup would be void or after 10 years the prenup would be void. She wasn't having any of it and basically told me that she's couldn't live her married life being under the suspicion that she was a gold digger and she basically told me never to contact her again and I took her off my social media/vice versa.
I haven't really gotten over her, I feel like we were perfect and I regret pushing the prenup thing now immensely. My business doesn't leave much time for dating and even when I have, I seem run women who expect me to pay for everything. I've also been a bit depressed and just lonely in general.
Anyway I found out through the grapevine that she's been in a relationship for 2.5 years now (I guess she moved on pretty quickly), got engaged a few months ago and recently posted a pregnancy announcement. I made the horrible mistake of looking her up on FB and she looks really happy with her new fiance.
I went over to a friend's house that night, we both got drunk and I passed out. At some point during the night my friend messaged her fiance on FB using my phone saying that she was a gold digger and that she got dumped for not signing a pre nup.
The fiance basically wrote back he didn't need a prenup when it came to the mother of his child. My friend then messaged him telling him to get a paternity test.
He got worse, going on about how her fiance was probably raising a kid that wasn't his because he's a beta (not sure what that means exactly) and that I was banging hot chicks every night and didn't need someone who was a 3/10 at best and how he was marrying a bitch.
Her fiance replied saying that it looked like money couldn't buy class or turn me into a real man and blocked me.
Apparently he's taken screenshots and sent them to her. She's gone and posted the screenshots on her page stating if I tried to contact her through other people, please beware and to not pass on any contact info or talk about the wedding/baby with me.
People have commented on what I loser I am for not moving on after 3 years and how money can't buy happiness. People also commented on how creepy it was that (I) had messaged her fiance. The post is public to boot and she hasn't blocked my name out or anything and I don't know if people have reshared it.
I'm absolutely furious at my friend and completely humiliated. There's heaps of mutual acquaintances, people I went to uni with, people I see on a regular basis responding with emojis or comments.
I've also had messages from mutual acquaintances and friends asking me what possessed me to even send such nasty messages or calling me a loser and telling me to stay away from my ex or comments about how even if her fiance didn't make as much money as me, he was 10 times the man I was.
Even my parents/siblings found out and were concerned at what I had done until I explained that it was my friend.
How do I deal with this? I feel like even if I said that my friend did it, I am going to look like even more of a loser. My friend has apologized for what he did but doesn't think he's done anything wrong and that I'm an idiot for being too nice and being hung up o this girl.
tl;dr: How the hell do I handle this? I'm damned either way and I'd like to try and restore my reputation a little. Do I explain? Do I delete FB?
Dude didn't expect his poo poo to go public and is now that his whole social circle is turning on him he's hoping Reddit will tell him that one weird trick that makes everyone suddenly believe the "my friend hacked my account and said all those terrible things!" excuse.
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Nov 2, 2017 22:41
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- Three Olives
- Apr 10, 2005
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Not a single fucking olive in sight
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Me (29M) Why did my friend want to kiss me on the cheek? (24F)Non-Romantic (self.relationships)
Straight people are weird.
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Nov 2, 2017 22:46
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- Adbot
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ADBOT LOVES YOU
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Jun 12, 2024 13:50
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- Ugly In The Morning
- Jul 1, 2010
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Pillbug
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She probably should have involved her husband in her decision, sure. But if the way he reacted is being reported at all accurately, I don't think he would have listened to her. If she were still in need of intensive therapy, wouldn't her therapist have objected when she scaled back her appointments? I don't want to start a big therapy derail here, though, so content:
Pressure from my partner (28f) for me (27m) to ejaculate inside her
u/IUD_throwaway3625
Regardless of any of his actual concerns, his use of the phrase "making whoopie" indicates he's a trash person who should be ashamed of himself.
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Nov 2, 2017 22:46
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Nov 2, 2017 20:43
Cat Army 
