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KoRMaK
Jul 31, 2012



Hre's my tips for working remote

- Find a good coke connection, buy about an 8 ball a week
- Find a good rx opiod connection, not heroin or fentayl. something like an IR roxy
- Get a good fair trade coffee
- Get a good sativa


Ok now, here's how to scehdule your day.
1) In the morning, wake and bake with a very very small bowl and drink the coffee.
2) Skip breakfast
3) around 10am you'll probably start to drag, this is normal. You also may be a little uncomfortable. Crush a little of the rx opoid and snort it.
4) around 1030, do a key bump of the coke. Then get back to work.
5) skip lunch, go to the gym
6) around 2 pm, repeat steps 3 and 4. do this several more times at the same interval, until about 10pm.
7) at around 10pm, smoke a big bowl
8) around midnight, go to bed.

And there you have it, you'll work like a well oiled and maintained machine.

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KoRMaK
Jul 31, 2012



Virigoth
Apr 28, 2009

Corona rules everything around me
C.R.E.A.M. get the virus
In the ICU y'all......



Sometimes a good sativa is a way to clear that blocker you've had.

Skandranon
Sep 6, 2008
fucking stupid, dont listen to me
It's good to have a schedule and stick to it.

Pollyanna
Mar 5, 2005

Milk's on them.



Im the fettuccine alfredo.

Wait, no, Im the daily drop of acid. Wait, no, Im the Dove bars. Wait, no :allears:

Pollyanna fucked around with this message at 13:21 on Nov 1, 2017

necrobobsledder
Mar 21, 2005
Lay down your soul to the gods rock 'n roll
Nap Ghost
6 am fettuccine alfredo after coding all night sounds pretty amazing. I'm not much of a sweets person so the Dove bars are meh.

Vulture Culture
Jul 14, 2003

I was never enjoying it. I only eat it for the nutrients.
That's got to be the grossest hot tub ever between the fettuccine alfredo and Hunter S. Thompson certainly not being a tub-scrubbing neat freak

raminasi
Jan 25, 2005

a last drink with no ice
So, uh, whats the point of Jira Portfolio? Because it feels like a convenient way to ossify any vaguely agile process. Our BA got ahold of it and now we cant add tickets to the backlog without him whining about his timelines four months in the future getting messed up.

Pollyanna
Mar 5, 2005

Milk's on them.


raminasi posted:

timelines four months in the future

:laffo:

Keetron
Sep 26, 2008

Check out my enormous testicles in my TFLC log!

Had a PO tell us proudly he fully booked and planned the upcoming six sprints. He could not grasp why werent to happy about that.

Carbon dioxide
Oct 9, 2012

I'm currently in my second job as a developer, and at both companies, Scrum was implemented as intended instead of half-assed and we didn't take it too strictly, as in we diverted from the guide when we discussed that doing so would help us out. The management left us alone to run it as we saw fit and/or actively took part in discussions about how to make Scrum work even better.

In both places, Scrum as a method works. We got poo poo done in a much more efficient way than would otherwise have been the case.

So, reading this thread, I can come to a couple conclusions:
- Scrum works perfectly fine for development teams when implemented as intended and when the specific implementation is decided and then supported by the whole team.
- Scrum is an active impediment when implemented incorrectly.
- Most people posting here work for the wrong companies.

I probably wouldn't hire anyone who'd dismiss Scrum out of hand. It either means they're shaded beyond repair by companies who got it wrong, or they are just unable to work in a team. On the other hand, having strong reservations about it is fine, especially if it leads team members to take the initiative to improve the way of working.

Keetron
Sep 26, 2008

Check out my enormous testicles in my TFLC log!

My lightbulb moment that was brightest the last few years was: doing things right, doing things well, isreally hard.

pigdog
Apr 23, 2004

by Smythe

Carbon dioxide posted:

I'm currently in my second job as a developer, and at both companies, Scrum was implemented as intended instead of half-assed and we didn't take it too strictly, as in we diverted from the guide when we discussed that doing so would help us out. The management left us alone to run it as we saw fit and/or actively took part in discussions about how to make Scrum work even better.
Unironically - way to go! Scrum is nice in the sense that there is a strict-looking and certified Scrum Way Of Doing Things that the devs may point at to prevent management and business side from screwing things up. On the other hand, internally, the Scrum guide is not meant for cargo culting, but to be taken as a starting point for what works best for this particular team. "What works best" being determined by retrospection between sprints.

Bruegels Fuckbooks
Sep 14, 2004

Now, listen - I know the two of you are very different from each other in a lot of ways, but you have to understand that as far as Grandpa's concerned, you're both pieces of shit! Yeah. I can prove it mathematically.

Carbon dioxide posted:

I'm currently in my second job as a developer, and at both companies, Scrum was implemented as intended instead of half-assed and we didn't take it too strictly, as in we diverted from the guide when we discussed that doing so would help us out. The management left us alone to run it as we saw fit and/or actively took part in discussions about how to make Scrum work even better.

In both places, Scrum as a method works. We got poo poo done in a much more efficient way than would otherwise have been the case.

So, reading this thread, I can come to a couple conclusions:
- Scrum works perfectly fine for development teams when implemented as intended and when the specific implementation is decided and then supported by the whole team.
- Scrum is an active impediment when implemented incorrectly.
- Most people posting here work for the wrong companies.

I probably wouldn't hire anyone who'd dismiss Scrum out of hand. It either means they're shaded beyond repair by companies who got it wrong, or they are just unable to work in a team. On the other hand, having strong reservations about it is fine, especially if it leads team members to take the initiative to improve the way of working.

I have about seven years worth of scrum experience. I think the problem is, ironically, "individuals and interactions over processes and tools" - if you are on a team consisting of relatively solid contributors and hands off management, your project is going to succeed regardless of the methodology you choose.

I believe that scrum proponents are actually inverting cause and effect - my suspicion is that rather than improving or hindering team success, scrum itself has nothing to do with the actual productivity and performance of the the team - scrum just fails so badly in situations with poor people/poor management that it acquits itself because everyone involved in the failure goes away thinking it wasn't implemented correctly, so people don't chalk up the failure as a "scrum" failure because people "weren't doing it correctly", so you end up with survivorship bias - the people who were on projects with good people who were using scrum attribute the success to scrum rather than being on projects with good people, and then go around evangelizing the virtues of scrum when they're really just saying "previously, I worked on projects with good management and good coworkers. You should try doing that everywhere."

My intuition is that process either doesn't matter, or if does matter, than there is probably a process more optimal for non-sunny day situations than scrum.

Keetron
Sep 26, 2008

Check out my enormous testicles in my TFLC log!

Bruegels Fuckbooks posted:

I have about seven years worth of scrum experience. I think the problem is, ironically, "individuals and interactions over processes and tools" - if you are on a team consisting of relatively solid contributors and hands off management, your project is going to succeed regardless of the methodology you choose.

I believe that scrum proponents are actually inverting cause and effect - my suspicion is that rather than improving or hindering team success, scrum itself has nothing to do with the actual productivity and performance of the the team - scrum just fails so badly in situations with poor people/poor management that it acquits itself because everyone involved in the failure goes away thinking it wasn't implemented correctly, so people don't chalk up the failure as a "scrum" failure because people "weren't doing it correctly", so you end up with survivorship bias - the people who were on projects with good people who were using scrum attribute the success to scrum rather than being on projects with good people, and then go around evangelizing the virtues of scrum when they're really just saying "previously, I worked on projects with good management and good coworkers. You should try doing that everywhere."

My intuition is that process either doesn't matter, or if does matter, than there is probably a process more optimal for non-sunny day situations than scrum.

You are very correct, I tip my noise-cancelling headphones to you.

This thread is leading to a bunch of wisdoms, it is rather fun to read.

- if you are on a team consisting of relatively solid contributors and hands off management, your project is going to succeed regardless of the methodology you choose
- when working remote, act like you got an office job but without the travel.
- Doing things well is hard, not many people, teams or organisations are capable of this.
- Clueless people get in the way and cause damage

Doom Mathematic
Sep 2, 2008

Bruegels Fuckbooks posted:

I think the problem is, ironically, "individuals and interactions over processes and tools" - if you are on a team consisting of relatively solid contributors and hands off management, your project is going to succeed regardless of the methodology you choose.

This drills down into the core question: does there exist a methodology by which mediocre developers can produce good software? (Defining "good software" is left as an exercise for the reader.)

Vulture Culture
Jul 14, 2003

I was never enjoying it. I only eat it for the nutrients.

Bruegels Fuckbooks posted:

"previously, I worked on projects with good management and good coworkers. You should try doing that everywhere."
This, but unironically, because whatever kanban flow you've settled on isn't going to fix your busted company any better than Scrum did. Hire the right people. Help your chronic underperformers find a better fit in another team or at another company.

Doom Mathematic posted:

This drills down into the core question: does there exist a methodology by which mediocre developers can produce good software? (Defining "good software" is left as an exercise for the reader.)
Everyone is better at some things than others. Overwhelming, all-consuming mediocrity happens when you hire for an individual's lack of weaknesses rather than their strengths. If you have the ability to put people where they're strong, and get them help where they're weak, you have a chance. If you have middling, unremarkable people, there is little chance of that group of people producing something that moves the industry forward. They might have a chance in some very specific line-of-business software where deep, specific industry knowledge is more important than mastery of software construction.

Vulture Culture fucked around with this message at 14:39 on Nov 2, 2017

Volmarias
Dec 31, 2002

EMAIL... THE INTERNET... SEARCH ENGINES...

Keetron posted:

You are very correct, I tip my noise-cancelling headphones to you.

This thread is leading to a bunch of wisdoms, it is rather fun to read.

- if you are on a team consisting of relatively solid contributors and hands off management, your project is going to succeed regardless of the methodology you choose
- when working remote, act like you got an office job but without the travel.
- Doing things well is hard, not many people, teams or organisations are capable of this.
- Clueless people get in the way and cause damage

Truisms I've noticed:
- Your brace and indentation style is wrong, no matter what it is.
- The worst developer is secretly you, and the codebase would be better without you.
- The best developer is secretly you, and the codebase would be worse without you.

lifg
Dec 4, 2000
<this tag left blank>
Muldoon
I disagree with the growing wisdom here. One of the most persistent flaws in software developers, even good developers, is how poorly we estimate time-to-complete. A lot of methodologies either try to solve that problem (timeboxing, reducing everything to <4 hour tasks), or eliminate it (throw out anything still unfinished at the end of the day). Good programmers will still struggle when faced with unorganized waterfall messes.

Scrum is one method for helping programmers with this problem, while giving management their say in what needs to be built.

CPColin
Sep 9, 2003

Big ol' smile.
The Cavern of COBOL > Working in Development: I disagree with the growing wisdom here

Pollyanna
Mar 5, 2005

Milk's on them.


Is writing code to normalize an arbitrary float-like string supposed to be a pain in the rear end, or am I just bad at my job? :negative:

The Fool
Oct 16, 2003


Six of one

spiritual bypass
Feb 19, 2008

Grimey Drawer

Pollyanna posted:

Is writing code to normalize an arbitrary float-like string

There's no right way to construct a wrong program

Pollyanna
Mar 5, 2005

Milk's on them.


I will fully admit to being very suspicious of this approach were taking and its entirely possible Im barking up the wrong tree.

Skandranon
Sep 6, 2008
fucking stupid, dont listen to me

rt4 posted:

There's no right way to construct a wrong program

The only winning move is not to play.

Bongo Bill
Jan 17, 2012

https://twitter.com/php_ceo/status/664237197365796864

Keetron
Sep 26, 2008

Check out my enormous testicles in my TFLC log!

Skandranon posted:

The only winning move is not to play.

After I figured out tictactoe, throwing nukes seemed much more appealing.

LLSix
Jan 20, 2010

The real power behind countless overlords

Doom Mathematic posted:

This drills down into the core question: does there exist a methodology by which mediocre developers can produce good software? (Defining "good software" is left as an exercise for the reader.)

Yes! I mentored 2/3 of my team's new hires over several years. Including one I was specifically asked to mentor because he was under-performing. Over 18 months of sometimes frustratingly slow guidance he grew into a good developer who requires increasingly little supervision. The three things that I think were most helpful for him was involving him in office discussions about what good code is; talking through my own problems and thought processes almost like a reverse interview, and frequent code reviews so he had a chance to fix his most egregious mistakes before stuff got into production.

Contrast that with the stagnation of the devs on the other team I had to work with. They had no interest in doing anything but releasing products as fast as possible. They never spent any time thinking about how to do better, or even really adequate, and so they never got better.

Helping the rest of a dev team to get better is one of the most important and valuable ways senior developers should be contributing to a team. I certainly owe a lot to the better developers who helped me and whose help I still need from time to time.

Bruegels Fuckbooks
Sep 14, 2004

Now, listen - I know the two of you are very different from each other in a lot of ways, but you have to understand that as far as Grandpa's concerned, you're both pieces of shit! Yeah. I can prove it mathematically.

Doom Mathematic posted:

This drills down into the core question: does there exist a methodology by which mediocre developers can produce good software? (Defining "good software" is left as an exercise for the reader.)

1. Having concrete, clear requirements up-front. The requirements can change, but there should be a concrete starting point.
2. Having actual architecture, documentation about said architecture, and leadership.
3. Mandatory code reviews before commit.
4. Automated testing.
5. Having a big, monolithic QA team.
6. Continuous integration that enforces code review and automated test requirements.
7. No hard deadlines, just ship when it's done.

Scrum is more:
- Show up to a meeting every single day for fifteen minutes at good companies, or one hour long at bad companies
- Planning poker cards ("So a story point is really like a day, right?")
- Increasingly strange meeting names like Scrum of Scrums
- (for bad companies) Potemkin village software created for the purpose of the sprint demo every two weeks
- We need to get our velocity up so we can meet this fixed deadline that absolutely can't change.
- Hours of retrospective meetings and planning meetings.

Even good scrum is relatively meeting-intensive - bad scrum involves spending literally hours a day in useless meetings.

ChickenWing
Jul 22, 2010

:v:

How do you lot decide what levels you log information at? I'm standardizing our server logs and finding it fairly difficult to come up with even a vague standard for what goes in error/warn/info/debug/trace, especially clarifying boundaries for the latter three.

So far I've settled on:

ERROR: soft/hard workflow failures. Something that was supposed to happen did not.
WARN: recoverable problems and indicators that something is wrong with external flows/internal data validity
INFO: basic "server is doing a thing", endpoint logging, SQL query logging, job health checks, aggregate stats
DEBUG: specific "server is doing a thing", specific stats, reporting non-exceptional exceptions
TRACE: method entry/exit, data dumps


obviously there's no One True Logging Standard, different strategies are applicable for different log consumers, etc - just looking for some wider feedback than the two people that provided input in my office

Volguus
Mar 3, 2009

ChickenWing posted:

How do you lot decide what levels you log information at? I'm standardizing our server logs and finding it fairly difficult to come up with even a vague standard for what goes in error/warn/info/debug/trace, especially clarifying boundaries for the latter three.

So far I've settled on:

ERROR: soft/hard workflow failures. Something that was supposed to happen did not.
WARN: recoverable problems and indicators that something is wrong with external flows/internal data validity
INFO: basic "server is doing a thing", endpoint logging, SQL query logging, job health checks, aggregate stats
DEBUG: specific "server is doing a thing", specific stats, reporting non-exceptional exceptions
TRACE: method entry/exit, data dumps


obviously there's no One True Logging Standard, different strategies are applicable for different log consumers, etc - just looking for some wider feedback than the two people that provided input in my office
If SQL query logging means for you what it means for me (logging every SQL query made by the application) then I would put that in DEBUG or TRACE not in INFO. But other than that ... yea, it looks reasonable enough.

Portland Sucks
Dec 21, 2004
༼ つ ◕_◕ ༽つ

Volguus posted:

If SQL query logging means for you what it means for me (logging every SQL query made by the application) then I would put that in DEBUG or TRACE not in INFO. But other than that ... yea, it looks reasonable enough.

Would you actually write out every SQL query made by the application to a log file? I've also been trying to work out a logging scheme and questioning what is even worth keeping. Is there any point in logging all of my SQL queries if I'm going to be generating hundreds of thousands of them per day? At what point is that just noise.

ChickenWing
Jul 22, 2010

:v:

Portland Sucks posted:

Would you actually write out every SQL query made by the application to a log file? I've also been trying to work out a logging scheme and questioning what is even worth keeping. Is there any point in logging all of my SQL queries if I'm going to be generating hundreds of thousands of them per day? At what point is that just noise.

It's really handy for debugging and as process landmarks. TBH it could definitely go to debug level, but we don't really generate enough logs that it's that much of a problem.

spiritual bypass
Feb 19, 2008

Grimey Drawer

Portland Sucks posted:

Would you actually write out every SQL query made by the application to a log file? I've also been trying to work out a logging scheme and questioning what is even worth keeping. Is there any point in logging all of my SQL queries if I'm going to be generating hundreds of thousands of them per day? At what point is that just noise.

Noisy and a threat that your disk might fill up if you're not careful.

Dirty Frank
Jul 8, 2004

You turn off the sql traces 99% of the time, via config but when you need it its invaluable.

Volguus
Mar 3, 2009

Portland Sucks posted:

Would you actually write out every SQL query made by the application to a log file? I've also been trying to work out a logging scheme and questioning what is even worth keeping. Is there any point in logging all of my SQL queries if I'm going to be generating hundreds of thousands of them per day? At what point is that just noise.

It is usually just noise, that's why they're at the debug or trace level not any higher. But, while developing it may be useful for debugging things, sometimes. Depending on what logging framework you use you can disable them even in debug mode.

AskYourself
May 23, 2005
Donut is for Homer as Asking yourself is to ...
Regarding log analysis. I've been using Application insight for my Azure apps to dig into my log and build some monitoring dashboard which allow me to have a rough idea of system activities like so :



It's really useful but there is a limit to the data that can be shipped that's quickly hit for busy apps. What good tool do you use to do something similar ?

Vulture Culture
Jul 14, 2003

I was never enjoying it. I only eat it for the nutrients.

Portland Sucks posted:

Would you actually write out every SQL query made by the application to a log file? I've also been trying to work out a logging scheme and questioning what is even worth keeping. Is there any point in logging all of my SQL queries if I'm going to be generating hundreds of thousands of them per day? At what point is that just noise.
This is something I'd probably do at the database layer using something like VividCortex if the app was of any real business value. Serialized logging is fine for coarse events, but it's almost completely worthless for tracing in a parallel system that's handling tons of requests at once.

CPColin
Sep 9, 2003

Big ol' smile.
We need to store a value that's eleven character long in a database column that's only ten characters wide. The same column is in a handful of tables, so it's time to make a bunch of ALTER TABLE statements! No problem, because we can select the tables we need and have the result set create the statements for us.

Well, remember when I mentioned that this place learned some hard lessons about databases and created stored procedures for a bunch of their table accesses? Yep, each of these tables has four stored procedures, one for each of the CRUD operations. And each of those has a parameter whose name matches this column we need to change. And they're all declared to be ten characters wide. So now we need an ALTER PROCEDURE statement for twenty-five procedures.

Can we learn this lesson about databases? I mean, what the hell is the point of a stored procedure that takes a bunch of parameters that exactly match the types of the actual columns and just passes them to an UPDATE statement (in a different order, for some reason)? I guess it does increment a version column and set a timestamp column, but a trigger could do that, too, right?

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New Yorp New Yorp
Jul 18, 2003

Only in Kenya.
Pillbug

CPColin posted:

We need to store a value that's eleven character long in a database column that's only ten characters wide. The same column is in a handful of tables, so it's time to make a bunch of ALTER TABLE statements! No problem, because we can select the tables we need and have the result set create the statements for us.

Well, remember when I mentioned that this place learned some hard lessons about databases and created stored procedures for a bunch of their table accesses? Yep, each of these tables has four stored procedures, one for each of the CRUD operations. And each of those has a parameter whose name matches this column we need to change. And they're all declared to be ten characters wide. So now we need an ALTER PROCEDURE statement for twenty-five procedures.

Can we learn this lesson about databases? I mean, what the hell is the point of a stored procedure that takes a bunch of parameters that exactly match the types of the actual columns and just passes them to an UPDATE statement (in a different order, for some reason)? I guess it does increment a version column and set a timestamp column, but a trigger could do that, too, right?

Use SQL Server Data Tools and source control your schema then publish a DACPAC during your deployment process to bring the schema in line with your canonical schema.

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