- Ugly In The Morning
- Jul 1, 2010
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Pillbug
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Me [34M] with my wife [35F] 10 years, we are taking our first vacation since having kids (8 years). She insists we take separate flights which will cost up to $1000 extra. She's afraid of a crash but this means we have much less money to do stuff on the trip
Do they also take seperate cars everywhere? You're way, way more likely to die in a car crash.
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Nov 3, 2017 18:43
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- Adbot
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ADBOT LOVES YOU
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May 30, 2024 11:49
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- cumshitter
- Sep 27, 2005
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by Fluffdaddy
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"I'm sorry honey, but this Thanksgiving you're the designated survivor. I hope you can enjoy your staycation at the Motel 6 down the road."
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Nov 3, 2017 18:45
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- Milotic
- Mar 4, 2009
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9CL apologist
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Slippery Tilde
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My [31/F] MIL [60s/F] helped move my SIL[27/F] in temporarily and made herself an "emergency" key without our permission and it got weird
quote:u/forforkssakelady
Hopefully this isn't too long but I'm really unsure of what we should do at this point.
My husband [31/F] and I have been married for three months and together for 3.5 years. Before we got engaged my MIL was awesome. She was supportive, respected boundaries, and seemed great. My husband had told me stories of her being a steamroller but thought maybe him being with me flipped a switch.
When we got engaged that switch unflipped. She became overbearing, intrusive, rude, nosey, and just an overall bother. We worked on setting up boundaries as these behaviors popped up but it came on fast and hard, often wearing us down and us excusing it. Offenses include tracking our phones, popping over unexpectedly, showing up at his work on lunch, and just very smothering behavior. She's never been outright mean or rude to me, until now.
My SIL had to move in with us temporarily due to a dirty breakup and divorce. My in-laws helped her move in without issue, this was two weeks ago.
My husband is currently out of town for work for a few days so it has just been me and my SIL. I hardly see her as she works at a restaurant at night but when I came home last night something didn't feel right. The house felt...weird. After a bit I noticed husband's computer was on, I texted her to see if she had used it and nope. She actually left before me that day. I checked the internet history and the sites were mostly bill sites from today. I guessed my husband remoted in somehow.
Then I went into my room. Dresser drawers were slightly ajar. Laundry basket looked different than it did that morning (my nightie from the night before was now in the middle of the dirty pile). I freaked out because this was not normal. Called my husband and he had no idea, so he called his parents to come sit with me while I decided if I was calling police or not. My MIL called immediately saying she came by to look for lost glasses and didn't find them, which is why stuff was "different". I didn't need to call the police. I asked how she got in? She said when she moved SIL in, she was the one who made the key copies and decided to make one for herself. She said she has stopped by twice (!) since then.
I was dumb struck and asked her why she would think this was okay? Her story changed from glasses to now she wanted to make sure the house is safe while husband is away. I then told her she didn't have my permission to be in the house and this isn't okay. I'm sick of her behavior of breaking boundaries. She then started yelling that she had to make sure "nobody comes over" while her son is gone and that she found out what I used to be like (?). I hung up.
I'm so furious and it's the next day. My husband thinks this is insane but doesn't want to cut her off or confront her more. He knows I'm not cheating. He thinks we should just ask FIL or SIL to get the keys back, give ourselves time to cool down before the holidays and then go about life as normal. I don't want to cool off. I think this behavior is escalating and is insane. I don't know what I want to happen though. Is my husband's request reasonable and I'm just being touchy? Or is this really that crazy?
tl;dr my MIL covertly made a key and came into my home while it was empty to see if she could find evidence of me cheating, my husband wants to let it blow over
Wow
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Nov 3, 2017 19:16
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- Bunni-kat
- May 25, 2010
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Service Desk B-b-bunny...
How can-ca-caaaaan I
help-p-p-p you?
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Me [34M] with my wife [35F] 10 years, we are taking our first vacation since having kids (8 years). She insists we take separate flights which will cost up to $1000 extra. She's afraid of a crash but this means we have much less money to do stuff on the trip
You know what, I would be the rear end in a top hat pulling out stats and then if she got upset at that, "Well, most accidents happen around the house, so if something happens to the house we better not both be in it. I'll be moving out, and filing for custody."
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Nov 3, 2017 19:17
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- christmas boots
- Oct 15, 2012
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To these sing-alongs 🎤of siren 🧜🏻♀️songs
To oohs😮 to ahhs😱 to 👏big👏applause👏
With all of my 😡anger I scream🤬 and shout📢
🇺🇸America🦅, I love you 🥰but you're freaking 💦me 😳out
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Biscuit Hider
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Another chapter in the Winston Churchill saga
Me [27F] with my SO[44 M] together 5 years, SO gets serially obsessed and won't stop talking AT me about said obsessions. Help!
quote:
Sorry very long!
My SO has always been a very talkative person, something I loved (and love) about him. I think he's very funny and he makes me laugh a lot, but I've also noticed he tends to tell the same jokes and stories over and over again. I've probably heard most about 20 times already, so you can imagine that I starting give less attention when he tells them. Other than this, he also talks NON STOP.
Every few months he discovers a subject which he then gets OBSESSED about for MONTHS. The subjects seem really random and there is no way of predicting which one it shall be next. It used to be ligers (mix of lion and tiger), then Bengal cats, then woodworking (bought 1000s worth of machinery and equipment), then the political history of Iran and Afghanistan, then American presidents, and now finally Russian monarchs.
Now, I don't mind his obsessions. I love that he is passionate about things and that he has the tenacity to explore them 100 percent. What I do mind however, is these obsessions taking over every part of our day to day interaction. He talks to me about, seemingly, nothing else. Well, talks AT me. It's impossible to change the subject and I usually don't know enough about the subject to join the conversation. So imagine you spend 8 months hearing every day for hours on end about the history of Afghanistan. Then, stepping into your shared car and listening to an audiobook on the history of Afghanistan. Then going to your parents' dinner party and hearing him explain the history of Afghanistan to you entire family. It's impossible to change the subject as he will always redirect the discussion to the obsession of the moment. He is a very dominant presence in conversation, so it's hard to ignore him. I know my family tolerates it because they love him, but I can see them getting annoyed with it as well.
A bit more info about me: I am highly sensitive and need some alone time and/or silence after my work. After work, I pick up our son (1,5M) form daycare and play with him for a while. Then my SO gets home. Just to illustrate that I get very little silent time.
Then, when my SO comes home, the rambling starts almost immediately: "Did you know Igor the Horrible did this and that, something Ivan never would have done, because his family used to have a home in (specific russian city I have never heard about in my life)..." He will talk non stop and will not change the subject. He starts these talks at random points and without any context. So I don't know anything about any of the things he is talking about. It's also impossible not to listen to him during these ramblings, as he talks to me directly and talks in such a way that I cannot give him no attention. He only talks about these subjects and doesn't asks me how my day went, what I did, what I'm doing, etc. He doesn't even want to answer me when I ask him those things about his life, because he finds these questions "boring".
Yesterday he came home and started off again and I cracked and thought "well, maybe honesty and assertiveness is a good way to handle my growing resentment over the amount of time he talks at me about subjects I don't really have an interest in." I told him that Russian monarchy wasn't really interesting to me and if he could please tone it down on that subject to me. He got really pissed and said I had no interest in what he has to say and is going on in his life. I told him that I am VERY interested in his life, but that he won't talk to me about that because it's boring. I would much rather hear about what HE did today than about what some russian dude I don't know did 500 years ago. He then said that talking about our daily life is boring and that everything I talk about is boring too..
I enjoy talking as well and (used to) love listening to him. He can tell you wonderful stories or memories about his past, or just suddenly make a situation hilarious. He is a one of a kind person, but I just don't understand why he will barrage me with information I don't care about, instead of sharing details of his life with me. I really do love spending time with him, but I'm getting kind of resentful for him "stealing my energy" with his lectures on things I don't care about.
He claims that he talks "maybe 5 minutes" a day about his obsessions and won't believe me when I say the subject dominates our one on one conversations as well as our gettogethers with others.
Am I in the wrong here? How do I go on? I don't want to live a life where I can't talk about anything else than what obsesses him at that exact moment..
tl;dr: My SO gives me daily university length lectures on subjects I'm not interested in. No way to change subject or escape. Told him to tone down the obsessive ramblings to me, now he's pissed "I'm not interested in what is going on in his life". Help!
UPDATE Talked to him just now about our discussion and told him I'm at my wits end. He needs to prove that he is interested in being with me and make efforts to talk to me like a normal person. If we don't try couples counseling, it's over. I told him about how I have been very unsuccessful in trying to reach a couple counsellor (request for an appointment denied 10 times) and told him he has to step up if he wants to stay together. He has to look for and make an appointment with a counsellor or else I'm out of here. He is also to be diagnosed to know wether or not he has Asperger's.
I've given myself the mental deadline of December 31st. No counseling by then, both personal and couples, I'm leaving.
Many thanks for all your replies. I didn't think it would get this much attention. Your comments really gave me the kick in the butt I needed.
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Nov 3, 2017 19:20
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- Barudak
- May 7, 2007
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My [31/F] MIL [60s/F] helped move my SIL[27/F] in temporarily and made herself an "emergency" key without our permission and it got weird
Wow
MIL’s husband is cheating on her, case closed.
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Nov 3, 2017 19:21
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- tactlessbastard
- Feb 4, 2001
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Godspeed, post
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Fun Shoe
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quote:
feel like we were perfect
Obviously not
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Nov 3, 2017 19:23
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- maskenfreiheit
- Dec 30, 2004
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Demand a copy of their housekey. Turn up at random and rummage through their drawers.
lol if you need a key to get into a house
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Nov 3, 2017 19:35
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- Peaceful Anarchy
- Sep 18, 2005
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sXe
I am the math man.
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Another chapter in the Winston Churchill saga
Me [27F] with my SO[44 M] together 5 years, SO gets serially obsessed and won't stop talking AT me about said obsessions. Help!
quote:He got really pissed and said I had no interest in what he has to say and is going on in his life. I told him that I am VERY interested in his life, but that he won't talk to me about that because it's boring. I would much rather hear about what HE did today than about what some russian dude I don't know did 500 years ago. He then said that talking about our daily life is boring and that everything I talk about is boring too..
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Nov 3, 2017 19:36
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- Clark Nova
- Jul 18, 2004
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If you can’t have basic daily conversations together, that’s a huge problem and you probably shouldn’t cohabitate or have a serious relationship with that person. If you can’t stand someone monologuing about rare internet cattes or gossiping about what Becky in accounting wore today or reliving their childhood traumas over and over again then just loving walk away.
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Nov 3, 2017 19:50
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- boner confessor
- Apr 25, 2013
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by R. Guyovich
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Another chapter in the Winston Churchill saga
Me [27F] with my SO[44 M] together 5 years, SO gets serially obsessed and won't stop talking AT me about said obsessions. Help!
sounds like BPD
I'm rusty on my stats, but wouldn't taking separate flights mean an increased chance of the kids losing a parent? The odds of one specific flight going down must be less than the odds of one or both of 2 flights.
kind of, but if they take the same car to the airport that is statistically way more dangerous than any flight
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Nov 3, 2017 19:55
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- Bunni-kat
- May 25, 2010
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Service Desk B-b-bunny...
How can-ca-caaaaan I
help-p-p-p you?
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I'm rusty on my stats, but wouldn't taking separate flights mean an increased chance of the kids losing a parent? The odds of one specific flight going down must be less than the odds of one or both of 2 flights.
The odds of two flights going down is lower, so the issue the mom has is she doesn't want the kids to lose both. She is still a god-damned moron. It's roughly the equivalent of being worried about being hit by lightning while you're also a lumberjack.
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Nov 3, 2017 19:58
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- Doggles
- Apr 22, 2007
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Guess the ages!
My boyfriend (26m) said he'd only move in with someone if they made him feel breathless, and I'm (24f) not it
quote:
I need some advice r/relationships
I've been with my boyfriend for a bit over 2 years, we've both helped each other grow and become overall better people, but some of those changes have been painful as realizing what needs improvement in yourself can hurt. We really love each other, but I'm starting to feel like maybe we're not compatible and maybe our love isn't enough to keep us together.
1st problem: he's a very sexual person and so am I, and initially that was something that really appealed to both of us. Our sex is intense and very fulfilling. However, we both currently live with our parents, and we don't see each other often. Usually we see each other Thursday, I go over to his place and we have sex, and Saturdays are our usual date nights so we do whatever we feel that day.
Except it has become a problem. He feels like we don't have enough sex. And I agree but until we get our own place there's nothing we can do about it. It all came to a head about a month ago, when we met up on a Saturday and had sex before heading out and grabbing something to eat. When we got back to his place we were watching a movie and he kept making moves on me, and I kept saying no, I wasn't in the mood. He felt some type of way saying he hates feeling like an old married man who will get rejected for sex. We had a whole discussion and I told him sometimes I will say no and that doesn't mean our whole sex life is compromised.
Then it happened again. He said he realized he needed to work on controlling his urges because he doesn't want to make me feel obligated. It sucks because we have sex every time we see each other but it's never enough. It's frustrating for me because sometimes we'll have an event planned and I'll do my hair and makeup and he doesn't care ruining it to have sex, making me look messy at his family gatherings. And if I forgo the makeup so he doesn't mess it up he gets upset I didn't put effort into my looks for our date. There's no winning.
He said he'd like sex 3 times a day everyday if we lived together. The fact that he sees I'm willing to occasionally say no makes him second guess his decision to move out with me at the end of the year.
Problem #2: I've been having a hard time at work, it's a toxic environment and it was sucking the life out of me, so I quit this week. I've been super depressed and quite honestly lost. And we've seen each other almost every day since I quit. He's been supportive but then Tuesday he got upset. We met up to go to the gym and while we were driving he was serious because he was angry at some situation that happened to him earlier. I took the time to play a game on my phone, but once we were in the gym I was chatty and happy and we were making conversation. Then he had to drop off his dad somewhere and I wasn't really talking as it was kind of awkward in the car. This led to him saying that he thinks we see each other to much because I wasn't very excited to see him, and that he hates that we see each other and it's whatever. He'd like it to be like a fairytale, where we're both aching to see each other and super excited.
That meant we didn't see each other Wednesday, but yesterday we went out. He was teaching me how to drive and then we met up with a friend for drinks. Afterwards I made a comment about sex and he said "oh shut up, don't even talk to me about sex," he said how today was our day to have sex and we didn't. Even though we had no time because we had plans with my friend. I suggested today and he said no, because then I won't be excited to see him Saturday.
He mentioned again how he hated that our dates were becoming routine and so whatever, and that when we greeted each other we'd just say hi. I asked him what he expected once we moved in together, and he replied that he'd only move in with someone he felt it was hard to breathe without. Which really hurt as he was implying I wasn't it. It spiraled into him comparing our relationship to other relationships, saying I didn't give him reasons to feel butterflies, and just overall implying the whole situation was my fault.
I cried and he told me to stop and to not beat myself up over it. He said I always blame myself and start thinking something is wrong with me and make myself feel inadequate. I told him he makes me feel inadequate because no matter what I'm never what he wants me to be (he wanted me to be stronger, thin, more fun, less uptight, most things which I've changed to please him, but the list only grows). He said it's not about him, that he wants me to grow as a person not for him.
I told him I worried that he'd leave me when a girl comes along that has everything he wants in me, and he replied that he's already met girls who were so much more, but he loves me. This only made me cry harder, I felt so inadequate and so not good enough. I felt like regardless of how much he loved me he'd be longing for more. He said he accepts me the way I am, that he understands I'm not one to give big reactions, but he can't help but wish I did and that he can't help his preferences.
Reddit what do I do? I'm so heartbroken, I thought we were on the same page about moving in together and getting married and now hes saying he'd only do it with someone he feel breathless without, and that's not me. He says he still wants to spend his life with me but I don't believe him. Part of me wants to change into what he wants but I'm exhausted trying to be a different person.
We haven't spoke since last night, he says he can't understand my reaction because he brought things up calmly and nicely. That he gets I'm hurt, but doesn't think this is a big deal.
TL;DR my boyfriend wants a fairytale romance and I'm not it, he says he loves me but can't help his preferences, what do I do?
EDIT: I agree with reddit's advice.
quote:
Kick him square in the nuts as hard as you can. That'll leave him breathless for the next 10 minutes or so.
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Nov 3, 2017 20:10
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- BOOTY-ADE
- Aug 30, 2006
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BIG KOOL TELLIN' Y'ALL TO KEEP IT TIGHT
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My [31/F] MIL [60s/F] helped move my SIL[27/F] in temporarily and made herself an "emergency" key without our permission and it got weird
Wow
Change the locks, make sure she, husband and SIL are the only ones with keys
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Nov 3, 2017 20:19
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- christmas boots
- Oct 15, 2012
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To these sing-alongs 🎤of siren 🧜🏻♀️songs
To oohs😮 to ahhs😱 to 👏big👏applause👏
With all of my 😡anger I scream🤬 and shout📢
🇺🇸America🦅, I love you 🥰but you're freaking 💦me 😳out
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Biscuit Hider
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After tooth and nail battle bf [28M] moved out of his parents house. Not 3 months later he's begging me [25f] to let us move back
quote:
This is such a big mess and honestly at this stage I guess I'm okay with the worst outcome but I don't want to be irrational and would like some help.
We've been together for 4 years. He has always lived at home with his parents as he wanted to save up and buy rather than waste money on rent.
Last year I graduated and got a 6 figure offer in another state. Now initially I wanted to stay in our state and take a lower paying job in order to continue our relationship but bf wanted me to move interstate.
He wanted to eventually move there and my family is here too so it made sense.
After I moved though bf started to drag his feet on moving. He had 2 job offers which he rejected and it felt like he didn't actually want to move.
After a while he says he found something he likes and accepts an offer, moves bla bla bla
We've been leaving together for 3 months now
He hates his job. He has always hated all of his jobs. He usually put up with them but he hated them
I've always been trying to get him to try something different as clearly the field his in isn't for him but he would say that he would hate anything h3 does as its work so there was no point in trying
Well for what ever reason his friend has mentioned being able to get him a job back in his home state and now he wants to quit his job and move back. He wants me to do the same too. He doesn't want to get out own place as rent is a waste and he still can't afford buying on his own so he says we'll live with his parents.
Now I love his parents don't get me wrong. They're a lot nicer then my own bf. However I know this won't be temparory and my bf will take full advantage of their hospitality.
I don't want to make them uncomfortable in their own home. They're saying they're okay with it but again they're too nice not to
Plus I don't want to be far from my family again. I did it for over 3 yrs and I missed a lot of things especially as I have 2 young teen siblings that I'm pretty close to.
And the last part is my bf is an rear end in a top hat towards his parents. He expects them to clean up after him and basically baby him.
He says he won't do that anymore as he's grown independent but 3 months is hardly anything more than a vacation so I find it hard to believe he'll break that habit
Plus I love my job. Granted it's easy for me to find something new but it's a hit and miss as to whether you like people you work with
tl;dr: bf wants to move back home after barely 3 months and I don't know if he can be trusted ok
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Nov 3, 2017 20:23
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- PleasingFungus
- Oct 10, 2012
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idiot asshole bitch who should fuck off
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A nice little story with some good typos in the title:
I've [24F] been dating my boss [35F] for two months. My Coworkers think I'm receiving my favoritism all the time.
quote:Hi, first post here on relationships. be easy on me, lol. So, i work part-time at hooters for graduate school. Basically, i'm broke as hell and this helps to a certain extent.
i havent dated a guy seriously in so long (two years more specifically). i had a pretty toxic relationship in the past, my ex physically assaulted me when we broke up. Since then, i was kind of scared of dating again.
But, i'm really feeling my boss, hes super sweet and he has taken me out to multiple dates. He seems different. We slept together a lot and he asked me to be his gf. i said yes and we tried to keep it on the DL because obvious reasons.
However, one of the girls (co worker) found out b/c my boyfriend (my boss) told her and she is basically blasted my business stating, "i get special treatment at work b/c i'm sleeping with the boss."
But i dont feel like I get special treatment at work. Then again, i could be completely unaware and oblivious. Anyways i feel awful and i dont want anyone to hate or feel uncomfortable. There is enough drama in the work place and i dont want to add more. i'm thinking about dumping him, so i dont make anyone feel like i'm receiving special treatment. But i REALLY like him. Idk i'm feeling like im at odds.
tl;dr: i'm dating my boss. i feel like this may put a strain into the work environment, should i dump him or transfer to another location?
Reddit says: hm, seems like your boss is using you as a trophy and acting very disrespectfully toward you. Maybe you should talk to him about this?
quote:Yes, hes currently my ex boss and boyfriend. He did not take it too well, stated i was overacting and then proceeded to be more rude. im transferring to another hooters location and i blocked him through all channels of communication. Basically, my sister actually gave me a reality check this morning, when i called her for advice.
Thank you reddit users: /u/LadyApsalar /u/Pomguo /u/CityChic88
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Nov 3, 2017 20:24
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- PleasingFungus
- Oct 10, 2012
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idiot asshole bitch who should fuck off
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Fun fact: when the doctor stiches the vagina back together after the delivery of a baby, some go one extra stitch past the vaginas original size in what is known as “the husband stitch” so some women get “tighter” after birthing a baby.
very belated, but: not sure about this one
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Nov 3, 2017 20:24
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- Barudak
- May 7, 2007
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Cool, glad to know im wrong
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Nov 3, 2017 21:08
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- Bunni-kat
- May 25, 2010
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Service Desk B-b-bunny...
How can-ca-caaaaan I
help-p-p-p you?
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One of my(21F) housemates (21M) is showering after pooping
Why would anyone clean their poop before they flush it? Seems wasteful of water.
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Nov 3, 2017 21:14
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- Ride The Gravitron
- May 2, 2008
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by FactsAreUseless
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I have to wonder what amazing qualities this Prince Charming has that she's put up with this poo poo for two years.
Trapped by the good dick
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Nov 3, 2017 21:20
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- Ride The Gravitron
- May 2, 2008
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by FactsAreUseless
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One of my(21F) housemates (21M) is showering after pooping
Wait so is he showering after he poops or is he cleaning his turds in the shower...
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Nov 3, 2017 21:25
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- Ride The Gravitron
- May 2, 2008
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by FactsAreUseless
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Wait so is he showering after he poops or is he cleaning his turds in the shower...
Cause lol if you poop after you shower
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Nov 3, 2017 21:25
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- PleasingFungus
- Oct 10, 2012
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idiot asshole bitch who should fuck off
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Wait so is he showering after he poops or is he cleaning his turds in the shower...
sounds like he's pooping, not wiping, and then showering
the good poo poo...
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Nov 3, 2017 21:29
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- Peaceful Anarchy
- Sep 18, 2005
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sXe
I am the math man.
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He's not showering, he's using the shower as a bidet. Which really wouldn't be an issue if he wiped before and ran the water a few seconds longer to get rid of the poop residue.
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Nov 3, 2017 21:30
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- christmas boots
- Oct 15, 2012
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To these sing-alongs 🎤of siren 🧜🏻♀️songs
To oohs😮 to ahhs😱 to 👏big👏applause👏
With all of my 😡anger I scream🤬 and shout📢
🇺🇸America🦅, I love you 🥰but you're freaking 💦me 😳out
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Biscuit Hider
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Wait so is he showering after he poops or is he cleaning his turds in the shower...
I think he poops and then instead of wiping hops in the shower.
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Nov 3, 2017 21:30
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- maskenfreiheit
- Dec 30, 2004
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The odds of two flights going down is lower, so the issue the mom has is she doesn't want the kids to lose both. She is still a god-damned moron. It's roughly the equivalent of being worried about being hit by lightning while you're also a lumberjack.
Hot take: the kid(s) are probably better off with no parents, therapy, and a fat settlement from the airline than he would with two neurotic non-affluent parents.
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Nov 3, 2017 21:35
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- Bunni-kat
- May 25, 2010
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Service Desk B-b-bunny...
How can-ca-caaaaan I
help-p-p-p you?
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Hot take: the kid(s) are probably better off with no parents, therapy, and a fat settlement from the airline than he would with two neurotic non-affluent parents.
Hey, the dad doesn't come off as neurotic. You can't be sure about him.
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Nov 3, 2017 21:42
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- boner confessor
- Apr 25, 2013
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by R. Guyovich
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Wait so is he showering after he poops or is he cleaning his turds in the shower...
he;s using the shower as an ad hoc bidet
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Nov 3, 2017 21:45
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- maskenfreiheit
- Dec 30, 2004
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Hey, the dad doesn't come off as neurotic. You can't be sure about him.
he's some sad sack david mitchell type if he tolerates that. very low energy.
My [31/F] MIL [60s/F] helped move my SIL[27/F] in temporarily and made herself an "emergency" key without our permission and it got weird
Wow
lifehack: in many states it's legal to shoot a trespasser in your home
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Nov 3, 2017 21:45
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- Adbot
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ADBOT LOVES YOU
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May 30, 2024 11:49
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Nov 3, 2017 18:43
and wish him well.
